October 19, 2000

Cutting Edge

Learning the Ropes Before Tying the Knot How to strengthen your marriage before it begins. LETTERS

On the Road Again nic, religious, social, educational, eco- Johnsson states that “we’re slowly As I read the article “On the Road nomic, or other, but Jesus will. His losing this defining characteristic.” Did Again” in the August 17 Adventist counsel is to repent and buy from Him he mean to say “doctrine”? It is not a Review, I was alarmed. the gold, eyesalve, and white clothes. biblical, supportable doctrine. In fact, It appears to me that Repent? Me? Yes, even me. it is a historical aberration born within these young people very unique circumstances during the have mistaken enter- —Merlin Nichols American Civil War. tainment and excite- C HETWYND, BRITISH C OLUMBIA To be blunt: At the beginning of ment for genuine spir- what turned into the Rwanda geno- ituality! We read in Thanks to William Johnsson for his cide, I was stationed at the 45th U.S. The Great Controversy spiritual and relevant editorials in the Army Field Hospital in Vicenza, Italy. of the desire in the nominal church for Review. In the August 17 issue you I was chief of one of the surgical divi- entertainment rather than gospel note that “because [noncombatancy is] sions of the hospital. Also stationed at truth. Do we dare to share in their not mentioned in the 27 fundamental Vicenza is a crack U.S. Army para- spirit of rank apostasy? God frowns on beliefs, we’re not teaching it as we trooper division, ready to be virtually the frivolous—the casual regard for must if we are to retain it as a living any place in the world within a day things pertaining to Him—in dress and practice.” Though it’s not specified in or two. It was on stand-down (as were behavior! the 27, I consider noncombatancy we at the field hospital) for orders to fairly well covered in the original 10: go into Rwanda. Those orders never —Blossom F. Vassar “Thou shalt not kill.” came, as you know. As we waited, a L IVINGSTON, NEW Y ORK planned and systematic genocide —Diane Schuetz began as the West watched and O RLAND PARK, FLORIDA ignored pleas for help. Guns in Paradise According to some reports, William Johnsson’s editorial “Guns in In regard to William Johnsson’s “Guns Adventists were among those Paradise” (Aug. 17) left me with sev- in Paradise” I must state that it will butchering their countrymen with eral feelings: déjà vu, sadness for the not always be possible for local machetes, while those of us in Europe people involved, and sadness for the Adventist leaders in government to who have planes and guns and tanks disgrace to God for the misbehavior of lead only in times of peace and tran- and field hospitals sat on our hands. His people. quillity. And yes, there were those of us who, The problems are not unique to Fiji But a good Adventist Christian as Adventists, were ready to fly in to and Guadalcanal or Bougainville. In must be differentiated from a thug who separate the warring parties, includ- politically stable and prosperous North might have Adventist background. ing fellow Adventists. America, church members bite and And in most situations the Christ-cen- I served in the U.S. Army for 31 devour each other on a regular basis. tered life will be more powerful than years as a physician, all the while fully What is the root of the problem? Do the gun. Preach Christ, pray for the qualified to handle the standard issue we baptize without making disciples? leaders of government, and counsel weapons if called upon to protect my Do we baptize and neglect to teach wisely. That is what must be done by medical unit and the patients it might everything that Jesus has commanded Seventh-day Adventists around the contain. I did that, I fully believe, us to teach? Is this symptomatic of a world. Even with that, evil will, at within the context of the authority deeper sickness? times, come. I shudder to think what and responsibility God places on No, baptism won’t take care of our might be the outcome of outright civil national authorities to organize mili- pride and prejudice, whether it is eth- war across Indonesia. tary power to keep peace.

2 (1690) ADVENTIST REVIEW, OCTOBER 19, 2000 The Adventist Church has bene- very much. fited greatly by the peace imposed by And then the pictures on page 18— the military of a number of countries, Barbara Ensley is a member of our particularly the U.S. and its allies. To church right here in Mills River. And even imply that combatancy is the then I read on—the picture of Dr. same as brute lawlessness, killing, and Coupland. He is my stepbrother! So COVER STORY criminality is just wrong. this issue was almost a personal greet- 8 Learning the Ropes I do not have any problem with ing! Before Tying the Knot any Adventist young person having a Thanks so much to the Review staff. Why do so many weddings get the personal belief against the bearing of It seems that the staff are not only headlines and so many marriages get the leftovers? arms. But the church must stop the writers but also cooks of no mean cal- BY W ILLIE AND E LAINE O LIVER misapplication of Scripture in implying iber! that what should be a personal deci- A great issue—it is good to relax ARTICLES sion of conscience is somehow a doc- once in a while and enjoy the great trine (or defining characteristic, as things the Lord has given us in nature, 14 Death and Life— Johnsson put it). poetry, and the family of God. Side by Side Someone’s sorrow leads to someone else’s joy. —Russel J. Thomsen —E. J. Heisler BY B EV B OYER V IA E-MAIL H ORSE S HOE, NORTH C AROLINA 22 “Speak to Me, God” Does God have to answer before I just finished reading the August 31 My Church we know He hears? special issue “Summer Reflections” and BY L OIS P ECCE As the only Seventh-day Adventist in want to tell you how very much I 27 How to End Your Fear of my blood family, I have felt the dis- enjoyed it. I hope there will be more of Foot Washing couragement that comes when the these issues in the future. The life of discipleship and one of church family is fragmented. Tammy its unique rituals Smith’s article “My Church” (Aug. 17) —Maxine Smith BY E D C HRISTIAN hit home—especially the final three H OUSTON, ARKANSAS paragraphs. What has kept me with a DEPARTMENTS bickering, snickering, and otherwise Several of the recipes in the August 31 2 Letters too often feuding church is the truth issue were intriguing, and we plan to that God still loves, cares, and is ulti- try them. However, “Betty’s Muesli” 7 Give & Take mately going to refine the church in seems to be missing something. It says 13 Leaving the Comfort Zone His time and way. I too “want to be a to “stir in the liquid,” but no liquid is 17 Tuesday’s Child part of His miracle.” Thanks for the listed among the ingredients besides 18 World News & Perspectives 1 clear reminder of why I am here. the ⁄4 teaspoon maple flavoring and the vanilla. Could you please enlighten 24 Passages in Manhattan —Kevin James me? 26 Book Mark F ALLON, NEVADA 31 Reflections —Robert Johnston We agree with your sentiments, but the V IA E- MAIL EDITORIALS article has left us with egg on our face. It was written, not by Tammy Smith, as we —The recipe as printed was very dry 5 We Goofed 1 published, but by Chantal Klingbeil, of indeed! It should have read: “2 ⁄2 cups 6 The Hate Dogs Lima, Peru. We will have an official cor- rolled oats (toast at 300°F on a cookie rection, explanation, and apology in an sheet, 10-12 minutes)” and “blend the NEXT WEEK upcoming issue.—Editors. following: 3 cups apple juice, 2 ripe 1 1 How Soon Is Soon? bananas, 1 tsp. vanilla, ⁄2 tsp. salt, and ⁄4 Lots of people have been waiting for RAPHICS tsp. (scant) maple flavoring.”—Editors. Christ’s return for lots of years. Does G Summer Reflections LUB God owe us an explanation? C I could not help writing after receiving MAGE the Review for August 31—what a : I delight from cover to cover! After so much “heavy” reading, this issue was OVER PHOTO great all the way through. I enjoyed it C

ADVENTIST REVIEW, OCTOBER 19, 2000 (1691) 3 “Behold, I come quickly . . .”

Our mission is to uplift Jesus Christ through stories of His matchless love, news of His present workings, help for knowing Him better, and hope in His soon return.

Publisher General Conference of Seventh-day Adventists Executive Publisher William G. Johnsson Associate Publisher Shelley Nolan

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The Adventist Review (ISSN 0161-1119), published since 1849, is the general paper of the Seventh-day Adventist Church. It is published by the General Conference of Seventh- day Adventists and is printed 40 times a year each Thursday except the first Thursday of each month, plus 7 extra issues during the first week of July 2000—total 47 issues, by the Review and Herald® Publishing Association. Periodicals postage paid at Hagerstown, MD 21740. Copyright © 2000, General Conference of Seventh-day Adventists. PRINTED IN THE U.S.A. Vol. 177, No. 47

4 (1692) ADVENTIST REVIEW, OCTOBER 19, 2000 EDITORIAL We Goofed ROY ADAMS

hen we launched our AnchorPoints essay articles simultaneously, accidentally seals away two or more contest back in 1998, we had no illusions originals in secure envelopes around the same time. A it would be easy to catalog the flood of momentary distraction occurs, after which she turns back to responses that would be coming our way. her task. With two or more numbered, but nameless, articles But the process was made vastly more now before her, she inadvertently assigns the wrong name to Wcomplicated because of the security blanket we elected to the duplicate of Klingbeil’s piece, and files it. Later place around the articles as they arrived. she matches up the corresponding article from the In the first place, none of judges with the misnamed copy in her files, without the editors handled the double-checking the sealed original in the secure submissions as they came file. (Few of us double-check when we think we’re in; nor did any of us serve sure.) The copy then gets as the initial judges. Our tagged, edited, and published cataloger (no longer with under the wrong name. us) received clear instruc- Plausible as this scenario tions: the articles were might sound, it leaves unan- to be made swered several questions completely that still puzzle us. How, for anonymous example, did the photo before send- mix-up occur, since photos ing them to were kept with the sealed the three originals? My sleuthing external judges instincts urge a pursuit we’d selected. of this and similar Thus the follow- questions. But to ing steps: 1. Each Chantal Klingbeil is a teacher, mother, and home- what end, really? submission maker now serving (with her German husband) at The injury has been received a number. Universidad Peruana Union in Lima, Peru. She done. And we’re 2. A duplicate hails from South Africa. embarrassed. copy was made, We of all people with the author’s understand the name and other par- enormous work that ticulars covered over. goes into composing 3. The original copy was then sealed in a special envelope an article for publication. And to have it credited to some- bearing the author’s name and particulars, as well as the one else has got to be very painful, to say the least. That’s assigned number. 4. Copies of the duplicate article, bearing why we thought a simple apology was not enough; a tripling only the number, were then sent out to the judges for evalu- of the honorarium was not enough; and it would certainly ation. not have been enough simply to run a routine correction With some 127 articles flowing through our office, and line in the magazine. So we give it here the with the need to make four copies of each (three for the prominence we think it deserves. It’s judges and one for the cataloger’s other file), this turned out about the best we can do to repair the to be painstaking work indeed. But our cataloger, a person damage.2 with a knack for that kind of detail, did a superb job, work- ing under the constant interruption of the telephone, other 1See “My Church,” Adventist Review, Aug. staffers, and visitors. Only in one instance did a problem 17, 2000, pp. 12-15. ever surface. Unfortunately for us, it’s a big one. An article 2Though we’ve not heard from her, we by Chantal Klingbeil, of Peru, was published under the hope this same gesture also serves to mol- 1 lify any possible embarrassment to name of Tammy Smith, of Tennessee. Tammy Smith, under whose name we How did it happen? The simple answer is: we don’t ran the piece. really know. But here’s one scenario that might have led to the mix-up. Our cataloger, perhaps working with several

ADVENTIST REVIEW, OCTOBER 19, 2000 (1693) 5 EDITORIAL The Hate Dogs KIMBERLY LUSTE MARAN

lthough the world is full of suffering, it is also those men outside. I wanted to run out there and ask: “Why full of the overcoming of it.”—Helen Keller. do you hate? Isn’t there anything that makes you happy? Look The wind blew in over the veranda’s metal at the beautiful trees fringing this campus, look at the colors railing and whispered gently through opened in the darkening sky—do you hate them, too?” I wanted to glass doors across the third-floor meeting hall. tell them I was sorry they hated, and I wanted them to know ABurnt orange shifted outside—behind the tall green pines— there was so much to love, that there was One especially who as dark’s purples bloomed, blanketing the sky with swarthy loved them . . . I wanted to do all these things, but I sat in my hues. The sun’s tendrils pulled away chair. And I did nothing. from the hills that faced the univer- A young man from the B2K sity’s campus and brushed across the meetings did venture down to the Pacific for another evening. street level and talk to a member of The dusky quiet was soon punc- the hate group. And after one con- tured when the B2K* evening He needed versation the grizzled homeless man speaker for September 14 started her decided he wanted to visit the local talk and a heavy banging beat human contact Adventist church. Though he cried wafted in through the open doors. out loudly in poisonous anger, the The dynamic speaker soon had me man had needed someone to break enthralled, and the grim clanging with divine through his pain and listen. He noises from the campus below were needed human contact with divine engulfed by her message. intervention. intervention. Next night—same kind of sun- James Baldwin once said: “I imag- set, same kind of mood. And again ine one of the reasons people cling as the sun disappeared, the drums to their hates so stubbornly is began. I stood outside before the because they sense, once hate is speaker for that night took the stage, leaning over the rail to gone, they will be forced to deal with pain.” watch the “musicians” on the wide sidewalk assemble for Some people suffer loudly, like the tragic, forlorn musi- another concert. Three young men milled about the square cians who gathered nightly on the university sidewalk. Some with restless movements. One of them, a tall gangly blond suffer quietly—like the haggard housewife/husband caught wearing tattered black clothing, violently poured the con- in an abusive relationship. Or like the athlete who suffers a tents of a large plastic trash can onto the concrete. Wooden devastating injury and misses the meet she’s trained so hard pieces of varying sizes, hubcaps, and other metal disks clat- for. Or like the surgeon who spends more time in court tered to the ground. Bang, bang, bangety, bang; bang, bang, defending his procedures than he does helping to heal bang—the man pounded on the upended can with a pair of people. homemade drum sticks. Another one of the musicians Pain. We have all felt it. We’ve all suffered. And we’ve grabbed a smaller metal trash container and pounded on its all hated. But we need to help. We need to seek Jesus first bottom with his hands. A young man riding a rusted BMX and acknowledge Him (Prov. 3:5, 6). Then we must look bike ran over the heap of metal and wood, jumped off his around. Who’s suffering quietly? Who’s suffering bike, and started pummeling the side of a crate. I asked a loudly? We have to reach out, even if we friend who these angry men were and was told they were are uncomfortable or in pain ourselves. called “The Hate Dogs.” Hate can be destroyed. Hate must be The group, now six strong, hammered out a painful destroyed. melody. I turned away from the violent spectacle and joined the worshiping individuals in the hall. Bang, bang, bangety *Berkeley 2000 (B2K) was a symposium held September 13-16 at the University of bang; bang, bang, bang—this circle of hate continued its California at Berkeley, at which young adult angry song for about an hour, their sounds echoing across public college/university campus ministry Berkeley until the last lone beat rose into the bleak sky. leaders attended lectures geared toward enhancing their ministries in the secular Next night—the drumming began again at sundown. And world. A news report will be printed in a even though the speaker was engaging, I kept thinking about subsequent issue of the Adventist Review.

6 (1694) ADVENTIST REVIEW, OCTOBER 19, 2000 ADVENTIST LIFE My Sabbath school responsibilities include scheduling teachers for the primary class. One morning I phoned a teacher to ask for her help—and ended up talking to her answering machine. I mentioned the need for coverage, the other teacher’s upcoming surgery, my willingness to provide lesson helps—I rambled on until the machine beeped once to tell me I had only a few seconds left. I picked up speed and wrapped it all up by saying: “Please le me know whether this will work for you. Thanks a lot—Amen.” I hung up in shock. Did I say “Amen”? I thought, Maybe she won’t notice. When the teacher returned my call, my husband handed me the phone, and the voice on the other end began dramatically: “Dear Brenda . . .” GIVE& —Brenda Adams, Waldport, Oregon An Adventist nun? “I would like you to pray for my mother, because she is thinking about becoming a nun,” my 18-year-old son, Wes, REWS

recently requested during C

his school chapel prayer ERRY time. Thinking he hadn’t T TAKE heard Wes clearly, the school principal asked Wes to repeat the LLUSTRATION BY QUOTES request. Wes said again, I “I’d like you to pray for my mom, because she is thinking about becoming a nun.” As classmates giggled, the principal queried, “Your mother is thinking about “It’s easy for us to under- becoming a nun?” Wes explained in more detail: “She is auditioning tonight to play the part of a nun in a production of The Sound of Music. She’s pretty nervous, so I’d like you to stand a child being afraid pray for her.” The principal relaxed, and prayer went off without a problem. It was answered with a yes—I was asked to be “Sister Sophia” in The Sound of Music, a speaking of the dark,but harder to and singing part! understand an adult being —Karen D. Patton, College Place, Washington afraid of the light.” WE “CAN” HELP —Pastor Ed Clifford during a sermon 10 years ago at the North Valley church in Phoenix, Arizona. Review reader Deborah Cain, of Knoxville, Iowa, recently found this quote she’d written on a flyleaf of her Bible. “God never intended for other people to do our BLESSED RELIEF: Members of the Elmira Indians Pathfinder Club of Elmira, New York, spent an afternoon sorting and packing food and supplies to be sent to North Carolina for victims of Hurricane Floyd. The group had collected canned goods for two evenings around the thinking for us.” church neighborhood and, after learning that a tractor-trailer was being loaded for those in —Ed Garcia during a General Conference morning North Carolina, donated the approximately 600 cans collected to this immediate need. worship this past June Submitted by Sharon Reynolds, Elmira, New York.

ADVENTIST REVIEW, OCTOBER 19, 2000 (1695) 7 COVER FEATURE

Learning the Ropes Before M Tying the Knot

How to strengthen your marriage before it begins

8 (1696) ADVENTIST REVIEW, OCTOBER 19, 2000 BY WILLIE AND ELAINE OLIVER And the need to belong and be a part few. Then there are more serious of someone else’s life is still one of our issues, such as which spouse’s family to primary basic needs. spend Thanksgiving or Christmas Invitations—$975 Furthermore, most people want a with, balancing work and marriage, Flowers—$1,400 satisfying marriage relationship that and handling previous friendships. Wedding Gown—$2,500 lasts a lifetime. The fact that almost 50 Many couples panic at the first signs of Reception—$5,000 percent of all first-time marriages end conflict or disagreement, thinking per- Premarital Guidance—Priceless in divorce has not deterred many from haps they weren’t meant for each matrimony. Recent survey results tell other. They aren’t prepared to handle ILLIONS OF us that teenagers still put having a the serious realities of everyday life. Americans tuned in to happy marriage and family as their John Gottman, a professor of psy- watch the two-hour number one goal. Sadly, far too many chology at the University of Washing- prime-time show Who couples enter marriage with as little ton in Seattle, says that it’s the ordi- Wants to Marry a preparation as did the two people who nary events of everyday life that build MMillionaire? aired on national television became husband and wife on the tele- love in marriage.1 When couples can the night after Valentine’s Day. The vision show. Most couples spend an resolve conflict in a constructive and reactions of most people to the show enormous amount of time, energy, and positive way, the marriage is strength- ran the gamut from amusement to ened and intimacy is deepened. shock, disbelief, and indignation. However, if these seemingly The television show, which aired on insignificant issues go unresolved or the Fox network (and affil-iates) are resolved in a destructive man- across the United States, allowed a ner, it leads to marital distress, mystery millionaire to pick a which leads to divorce or remaining bride—with the help of friends and in an unhappy marriage. family—from 50 women. Before the groom could choose, each semifinal- Premarital Education as ist was interviewed. Physical attrib- Prevention utes were also displayed as each Current research suggests the woman modeled beachwear for the Premarital possibility of preventing marital bachelor and viewing audience. The distress through teaching couples soon-to-be-husband selected his education is an skill-building in areas of communi- bride, and the couple wed a few cation and conflict management moments later—right after the com- opportunity for before problems develop.2 For those mercial break—without ever meet- who want a lasting and happy mar- ing each other and obviously with- prevention. riage, premarital education is an out any type of premarital educa- absolute must. tion. This couple tied the knot Premarital education isn’t just to before learning the ropes and after a resources preparing for a wedding day help a couple know where to stand and few days had their marriage annulled. that lasts a few hours. Not as much when to say “I do” on the wedding day. One may quickly recognize that this time is spent getting the necessary An effective premarital education pro- high-viewer ratings show closely relationship skills needed to build a gram teaches couples specific skills, reflects the prevailing view of marriage marriage for a lifetime. techniques, and ideas for maintaining Min our society today. The parallel is To be sure, it’s far simpler to prepare and building a strong Christian mar- almost too close for comfort—have for a one-day wedding event than it is riage. It’s an attempt to help a couple beautiful wedding pageantry and then to prepare for a marriage that lasts a prepare for a happy, satisfying lifetime dissolve the relationship because of lifetime. Nevertheless, the most marriage and hopefully prevent future irreconcilable differences. romantic and elegant wedding in the distress and divorce. Couples who have According to the executive pro- world doesn’t prepare a couple for hav- had a positive premarital education ducer, the show itself was successful ing a satisfying and happy marriage. experience are also more willing to because of wish fulfillment—most peo- After the beautiful wedding and exotic participate in future marriage enrich-

RAPHICS ple wish for a relationship. Isn’t it honeymoon, couples are faced with the ment opportunities or counseling if G

LUB interesting that no matter how much mundane matters of life. Such issues as necessary. C our world tries to deny God, we always remembering to balance the check- If done effectively, premarital educa-

MAGE have to go back to the Creator? God book, which direction to put the toilet tion prepares couples for inevitable dis- : I created us to be in relationship; first paper roll, or what brand of toothpaste appointments and conflict in marriage. HOTO

P with Him and then with one another. to use and how to squeeze it are but a It teaches the skills needed to manage

ADVENTIST REVIEW, OCTOBER 19, 2000 (1697) 9 conflict and miscommunication and to Religious Organizations and Issues prevent distress before it starts. Having a good relationship is a skill, and at the Regarding Marriage heart of this skill is speaking and listen- ing to one another in ways that will One would think that being the first institution established by God at the gene- build up rather than tear down. For sis of time, marriage ought to be receiving much support and affirmation from those of us who are Christians, none of religious people and established church bodies. The evidence is mixed, however. this is news, as evidenced in James For many years we church people have falsely assumed that since we love 1:19: “My dear brothers, take note of Jesus, marriage would just automatically work for us. After all, Jesus is in me, and this: Everyone should be quick to lis- Jesus is in you, and if we are married, those two Jesuses wouldn’t be fighting ten, slow to speak and slow to become each other, would they? angry” (NIV). Well, unfortunately, we have forgotten that as human beings and living sacri- Of course, teaching anything to a fices on the altar of the Almighty, the sin that is often still alive in us keeps giving couple who is in a blissful state is very strength to those “living” sacrifices to walk off the altar. And those “off the altar” hard. However, this is when most cou- episodes, which are quite frequent among professed Christians, are exactly the ples usually ask for premarital guid- problem with church people and marriage. ance, after they are well into the wed- Fortunately, however, Christian leaders have awakened to the fact that it is ding and honeymoon plans. Usually going to take more than mere “profession of faith” to help marriages thrive and the pastor is consulted more as a cour- succeed. After all, we are human and sinful, and unless we understand and learn tesy, and pastors traditionally have just to follow the biblical principles of relationship, we are no different than those given a few courtesy premarital ses- without faith. sions and then a blessing on the wed- Mike McManus of Marriage Savers* writes: “For the first time in history, key ding day. leaders of America’s Christian religious denominations and ecumenical groups Ideally a couple should seek the representing 241,000 churches and 159 million Americans met and agreed to guidance of the pastor or Christian develop a strategy to strengthen marriage in America.” The preceding assertion counselor while deciding toward mar- was made about a meeting called by Free Methodist bishop Kevin Mannoia, the riage and before setting the wedding new president of the National Association of Evangelicals, a fellowship of 51 date. Many couples are so determined denominations with 45,000 churches attended by 30 million people. Mannoia to be together that they are afraid to announced, “Marriage is foundational in the life of the church and culture. Our get counseling for fear they will be told role can change the rate of divorce.” that they aren’t meant to be together. It’s true that a couple may dissolve a *Mike McManus, Marriage Savers (ethics and religion column), May 3, 2000. relationship because of issues that sur- faced during premarital guidance, but and consensus building are the factors ual traits and behaviors, i.e., emotional such an experience is much less trau- that are most predictive of future dis- health, self-esteem, neurotic behaviors, matic than going through a divorce. tress. What couples are calling “irrec- and dysfunctional attitudes. Other Take Joe, 30, and Susan, 29, who oncilable differences” often occur in areas for assessment are similarity of have been dating for more than a year. areas in which a couple can make race, religion, values, age, and gender This couple had already set their date changes and be taught skills for han- role expectations. Couples will also and paid a $1,000 deposit to reserve dling their differences. want to assess how background factors, the reception hall. After taking a pre- Marital researchers estimate that including family of origin, socioeco- marital preparation program at their only 40 percent of the time do couples nomic status, and previous divorce his- church, they discovered that they had divorce because they are having fre- tory, might impact their relationship. If many areas that they needed to resolve quent devastating fights. More often couples are aware of these factors prior prior to marriage. They decided to than not husbands and wives distance to marriage and preferably before postpone their wedding for six months. themselves to avoid hostile fighting, engagement, then they can make more At first Susan was unhappy about the until there is no closeness, friendship, informed choices, anticipate future postponement, but she knew that it or sense of connection, thus ending problems, and sometimes, for their ben- was the right thing to do. their marriages under the guise of “We efit, decide to dissolve a relationship. The most effective premarital pro- just grew apart.” 3 grams focus on teaching couples how Couples must also discuss and assess New Directions in Premarital to make the transition from single life other factors that are less amenable to Education to married life. These programs make change or not changeable at all, but Historically the church has been couples aware of the risk factors that that may have potential influence on the primary provider of premarital will lead to divorce or marital distress. the success of the relationship. These education. To be sure, religious organi- Communication, conflict resolution, factors include each partner’s individ- zations still have the most access to

10 (1698) ADVENTIST REVIEW, OCTOBER 19, 2000 Premarital Guidance in the Seventh-day Adventist Church

While the Adventist Church has for many years encour- among which are agape love, lifelong covenant faithfulness, aged our ministers to lead couples contemplating marriage and mutual submission. through a premarital preparation process, much more needs b. To prepare the couple for transition to married life, pro- to be done to create an effective marriage preparation pro- viding opportunity for them to anticipate predictable changes gram. and to reach agreement on their expectations of each other It has been 15 years since we last published premarital in marriage. guidance information, revising Preparing for Marriage in c. To enhance the couple’s relational skills of communica- 1985. tion, processing of anger, problem solving, resolving conflicts in In 1984 the Annual Council of the Seventh-day Adventist mutually acceptable ways, and giving and receiving affection. Church voted to adopt a plan for premarital education. In d. To assist the couple to evaluate their decision to marry 1996 the new Department of Family Ministries World by looking realistically at their reasons and readiness for Advisory voted to reaffirm and expand the 1984 Annual marriage. Council action on premarital education. 3. Use of Most Effective Methods: Approaches found to In January 1999 at the advisory meeting of the NAD be most effective in generating higher levels of marital satis- Department of Family Ministries held in San Diego, faction should be used. Effective approaches provide objec- California, an action was taken to recommend a premarital tive assessment through use of testing instruments, help the guidance policy to the North American Division Committee’s couple to understand themselves and each other through dia- annual year-end meeting. log on a wide spectrum of marital issues, and to build rela- In April 1999 Ron and Karen Flowers, from the Depart- tional skills. ment of Family Ministries of the General Conference of the 4. Materials and Training: For a suggested method of Seventh-day Adventist Church, convened a world premarital approach to premarital guidance, as well as material to guidance task force. The task force reviewed existing premar- share with couples for self-study in instances in which per- ital guidance materials within the Adventist Church, reviewed sonal pastoral guidance is not possible, resources are avail- the premarital guidance literature in general, developed an able from the Department of Family Ministries and the improved curricular framework, and decided a direction for Ministerial Association. Conferences and local churches, in the future of premarital guidance within the Adventist Church. counsel with the Department of Family Ministries and the In November 1999 at the North American Division com- Ministerial Association at the next higher level of church mittee’s year-end meeting the following premarital guidance organization, should provide leadership development pro- policy was voted by the committee members, who repre- grams in premarital guidance for qualified lay leaders and for sented every one of the 58 conferences and nine union con- pastors not otherwise prepared in their ministerial training. ferences in North America: 5. Education of Youth: Ideally, preparation for marriage begins at home with parental modeling of healthy marital rela- Premarital Guidance tionships during child rearing. Parental education programs can 1. For Couples Requesting to Be Married: Premarital enhance the effectiveness of this responsibility. Efforts should guidance should be provided to couples requesting to be be put forth to supplement home training by age-appropriate married by Seventh-day Adventist ministers. Where possible, instruction in the church school and Sabbath School programs. this premarriage preparation of the couples should consist of (To download a copy of the premarital policy, go to the NAD several counseling sessions conducted by the minister or by Family Ministries Web site at http://www.nadadventist.org/ another qualified individual. family/premarital.html.) 2. Objectives of Premarital Guidance: This process Currently the Department of Family Ministries and the should be undertaken at a minimum of four to six months Ministerial Association of the North American Division are before the wedding with the following objectives: working in tandem to develop appropriate resources and a. To strengthen the couple’s commitment to each other training modalities in premarital guidance for ministers by based on biblical principles undergirding Christian marriage, January 2001. engaged couples, and 78 percent of all ing and protecting marriages. The tion primarily as a blessing machine first-time marriages still take place in a church can naturally play a pivotal when it comes to marriage. 4 Despite church, synagogue, or temple. Conse- role in the work of preparing couples the energy that most churches put quently even the secular marital for successful marriages and preventing into premarital training, the divorce researchers are looking to religious divorce. rate for Christians, including institutions to deliver effective premar- Given this information, the Seventh-day Adventists (see sidebar ital programs in the hopes of preserv- church can no longer afford to func- “Religious Organizations and Issues

ADVENTIST REVIEW, OCTOBER 19, 2000 (1699) 11 Regarding Marriage”), is comparable Pertinent Adventist Statistics to that in society. It may be safe to assume that much of this energy The following statistical data for North American Adventists are quoted from hasn’t always been spent in the most Monte and Norma Sahlin A New Generation of Adventist Families (Lincoln, Nebr.: effective manner. Center for Creative Ministry, 1997). To order copies, please call AdventSource at As a denomination, we must be 1-800-328-0525. more intentional about preparing per- • One in four Adventists (26 percent) has been divorced at some point in their sons for marriage. First, we have to life (p. 8). begin looking at premarital education • One in six respondents (17 percent) experienced divorce since joining the as prevention, thus taking a long-term Seventh-day Adventist Church. For the others, the divorce happened before approach to the process. This ap- becoming Adventists (p. 8). proach clearly requires a big commit- • Low-income respondents are more likely to have gone through a divorce ment from those who are providing than are higher-income respondents. Blacks and Whites are more likely to have premarital education. Each local gone through a divorce than are Asians and Hispanics among respondents. church must be prepared to establish Recent converts are also more likely to have been divorced (p. 121). specific guidelines for engaged couples • The largest number of respondents (43 percent) were under 30 years of age (see NAD policy). In the past the at the time of their divorce. Another third were under 40, and fewer than one in pastor has been solely responsible for four were over 40 (p. 122). premarital preparation of couples. • One in five Adventists who have experienced divorce have also gone through Perhaps the time has come for us to a second, third, or subsequent marriage dissolution. Almost all of these respon- take a community-oriented approach dents have had only two divorces. Only a handful of respondents indicated they to the premarital effort. The church had been divorced three or more times (p. 122). family must be willing to make a big- For more statistics on Adventists and society in general, please visit ger investment of time, energy, www.adventistreview.org. thought, and prayer in preparing a premarital education program that supports and prepares couples and Keeping the Knot Tied We hope and pray that the Seventh- individuals in the church for Premarital education is a unique day Adventist Church will be in center marriage. 5 opportunity to influence the future of court and not left sitting on the bench. The family ministries committee of married couples, families, and society. the local church can serve as a won- Couples who participate in effective 1 John M. Gottman and N. Silver, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work (New York: derful resource. Churches can use the premarital preparation programs are Crown Publishers, 1999). many tested instruments based on solid reducing their risks of future marital 2 Scott Stanley, D. Trathen, S. McCain, and research, such as PREPARE, RELATE, distress and divorce and enhancing M. Bryan, A Lasting Promise (San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 1998). FOCUS, which help to assess the their capacity for a healthy, satisfying, 3 Gottman and Silver. strengths and weaknesses of couples. and Christ-centered marriage. 4 Michael J. McManus, Marriage Savers: There are also many intervention pro- While we believe that premarital Helping Your Friends and Family Avoid Divorce (Grand Rapids: Zondervan Publishers, 1995). grams that are ideal for use with pre- education is an opportunity for preven- 5 Ibid. marital couples. 6 tion, we must also say that its effects 6 For additional information on premarital Local churches can collaborate to won’t last for a lifetime. Couples will resources, please contact NAD Department of Family Ministries. provide premarital or relationship- need ongoing support to maintain the 7 Ellen G. White, The Adventist Home strengthening classes for groups of cou- preventive effectiveness. Couples must (Nashville: Southern Pub. Assn., 1952), p. 32. ples. The pastor can then meet with take advantage of enrichment seminars couples privately to discuss deeper and retreats as often as possible, and issues, and, when ready, make plans for churches must provide these opportu- Willie and Elaine the wedding. Christian counselors, nities for couples. Marriage isn’t an Oliver work for the therapists, and certified family life edu- individual sport. It truly is a team Department of cators may also serve as an excellent effort. The effects of divorce are batter- Family Ministries of resource in providing premarital educa- ing our society, and many eyes are the North American tion for couples. Some churches use appropriately looking toward the faith Division of the Seventh-day Adventist trained mentor couples. These are cou- communities to take the lead in mak- Church. ples who are committed to their own ing a turnaround. relationship and are interested in help- Ellen White says it well: “One well- For more information and statistics per- ing new couples have Christ-centered ordered, well-disciplined family tells taining to this article, visit our Web site at marriages. more in behalf of Christianity than all www.adventistreview.org. the sermons that can be preached.” 7

12 (1700) ADVENTIST REVIEW, OCTOBER 19, 2000 LEAVING THE COMFORT ZONE While the World CHRIS BLAKE Holds Its Breath

nside the August 14, 2000, issue of Newsweek appeared to the Soviet Presidium, ‘We must retreat.’ ”* a fascinating book excerpt from Evan Thomas’s Robert But my mouth hung open as I read: “Only the Joint Kennedy: His Life (Simon and Schuster). The excerpt Chiefs were dejected. ‘We lost!’ Gen. Curtis LeMay bel- details 13 extraordinary days of the 1962 Cuban missile lowed at President Kennedy. ‘We ought to just go in there crisis. What makes the narrative particularly riveting is today and knock ’em off!’ ” Ithat much of the material comes directly from secret tapes What an incredible, infantile perspective! To avoid “los- recorded by President John F. Kennedy. ing,” let’s kill off 120 million people! To their credit, the Though the former U.S.S.R. had Kennedys comported themselves sworn not to place offensive weapons like adults during this crisis: “JFK there, aerial photos that October steady and reasonable, RFK urgent revealed that Soviet nuclear missiles and probing.” were indeed deployed in Cuba. Of the many lessons to learn from Everyone at the highest levels of this account (including how we must United States government viewed pray for political and military leaders, this as an intolerable threat. But how no matter how much we deplore

ILE should they respond? their ways), here is one for the ages: F ® “President Kennedy was under To act as an adult is to refuse to raise

ERALD considerable pressure from the mili- the risk, to decline to heighten the H tary to strike. Meeting alone with mounting hysteria, even when we the president on Friday morning, the know we are in the right. No matter

EVIEW AND Joint Chiefs of Staff virtually bullied how tormented by goading, whining, : R the president to begin bombing. . . . sniping, or bullying, we will not HOTO

P ‘You’re in a pretty bad fix, Mr. respond in like manner. President,’ said [Gen. Curtis] LeMay. This lesson is applicable in com- ‘What did you say?’ asked Kennedy, taken aback. . . . ‘You’re munity service and church boards. This lesson is germane to in a bad fix,’ repeated LeMay, almost as if he was enjoying his families, between parents and children, husbands and wives. civilian master’s discomfort. Kennedy mumbled a joke, but he Too much is at stake here. One life is too much to hazard was not amused. ‘Those brass hats have one great advantage with adolescent bellowing or sulking or finger-pointing. One in their favor,’ JFK groused to his aide, Kenny O’Donnell. ‘If bomb of nuclear words may destroy a child, a pastor, a church we . . . do what they want us to do, none of us will be alive family. It’s happened before. later to tell them they’re wrong.’ ” Instead, we are called to self-discipline, to fight back the With the exception of decisions made in the gardens of urge to rain general destruction on our target. “So put away Eden and Gethsemane, Kennedy’s decision would impact all malice and all guile and all insincerity and envy and all the lives of more people than had any decision in history. slander” (1 Peter 2:1, RSV). Supplement “knowledge with Had he decided to bomb, more than 100 million lives might self-control, and self-control with steadfastness” (2 Peter have been immediately lost, with the cataclysmic effects of a 1:6). Do the right thing always, “and the God of peace will nuclear winter to follow. All 1,400 of the country’s nuclear be with you” (Phil. 4:9). bombers went on 24-hour alert. U.S. strategists discussed Those days of the Cuban missile crisis are past, yet lives evacuation possibilities for major cities. still hang in the balance. How are you behaving? “The top White House officials were handed envelopes to be opened in case of attack. Inside were directions to land- *Khrushchev eventually lost his position over the incident, proving again that doing what’s right doesn’t mean gaining the world’s applause. ing sites from which helicopters would supposedly whisk them to a mountain cave in Virginia. ‘I’m not going,’ RFK told his aide Ed Guthman. ‘If it comes to that, there’ll be 60 Chris Blake teaches English and communications at million Americans killed and as many Russians or more. I’ll Union College in Lincoln, Nebraska. be at Hickory Hill [RFK’s home].’ ” Fortunately, the nuclear holocaust was averted. “In order to save the world, Premier Nikita Khrushchev had declared

ADVENTIST REVIEW, OCTOBER 19, 2000 (1701) 13 LIFESTYLE Death and Life — Side by Side The family prepared for a homecoming of a different kind.

BY BEV BOYER

OPPING THE There is no preparation, no pre- kitchen floor on scribed social convention, for meet- your hands and ings like this. What are the first knees is a good time words you say to someone who is to think. A good alive because your child died and Mtime to cry, too. I was getting ready What do shared the gift of life-giving organs? Mfor a homecoming . . . well, sort of. I searched for words as I washed the The radio played “I’ll Be Home for floor. It’s a good thing we have a big Christmas” and “There’s No Place you say to kitchen, because the words weren’t Like Home for the Holidays.” Oh, I coming easily. I reviewed so many of wish . . . I wish. Tears mingled freely someone who the events of the past 16 months with the Mr. Clean in my bucket. trying to capture the right feeling. But there was excitement in my Erin, our beautiful 17-year-old heart as well. And for good reason. is alive because daughter, had died unexpectedly We had waited and prayed a long and suddenly of a brain aneurysm. time for this meeting. DeWayne (my your child Giving what we could to help save husband) wanted it to be at a home, other lives had been more beneficial not an office or a restaurant some- died? than we had ever imagined, both for where. He wanted it at our home. I the recipients and for us. But now, agreed. He said it would be as today, we’d meet one of those recip- though part of Erin was back where ients for the very first time. And the she belonged, here in this house— local TV station wanted to “capture with us. And that seemed right. the moment” as well. Whew! I

14 (1702) ADVENTIST REVIEW, OCTOBER 19, 2000 aTasha received Erin’s left kidney and her pancreas on NAugust 12, 1998 (three days after Erin’s death). NaTasha was diagnosed with juvenile-onset dia- betes at age 14 and had end-stage renal disease at the time of the transplant. (She was then 34.) She had been on dialysis three times a week for four years and had been on the transplant waiting list for three years. It was only recently that her doctor told her how serious the degree of her illness really had been. NaTasha and Erin had a four- point match. A six-point match is considered perfect and is very rare. NaTasha was discharged from the hospital just two weeks after the transplant surgery. As a result of the transplant she is now free of all symptoms of diabetes. In a letter to the Boyer family quoted in The Gazette (a A LEGACY OF HOPE: Bev Boyer, left, hugs NaTasha Driggers, who lives because of daughter Erin Burtonsville, Maryland, newspaper) Hope Boyer’s decision to check the donor box on her driver’s license. Bev told NaTasha that NaTasha wrote, “Every night since Erin has left them with a legacy of hope—and one is that “you will continue on toward good receiving your letter I have read it health and a great life.” over and over, trying to find the right words to thank the family of my donor. From the bottom of my heart, I would like to thank everyone who finished mopping, but I couldn’t quit was involved in the decision to donate Erin’s organs so that I can have a second thinking. chance at life.” Lisa, our donor advocate, had said NaTasha is a stay-at-home that NaTasha was a little nervous— mom. She and her husband, worried about whether or not we David, have two sons, ages would like her or accept her. We 6 and 10. David is a laughed. If only she could know that Washington, D.C., firefighter. there was almost nothing she could do NaTasha has a large or be that would be wrong. The fact extended family, most of that she was alive because of Erin’s gift whom live in the D.C. area. was more than good enough. We had open arms and open hearts. But how to convey that when we met. Words door the news reporter set me weren’t coming that would adequately up by saying that I had had a make NaTasha and her family feel long time to think about this accepted and at home. moment (who told her that, Finally 6:30 came, and so did the anyway?) and what would be TV crew. I still didn’t have words, but the one thing I wanted to say there was no more time to think. most to NaTasha. My unre- There was one mike. They chose to hearsed response came A SECOND CHANCE AT LIFE: Erin Boyer’s death meant put it on me. In what seemed like a quickly. “NaTasha, I want you life to NaTasha Driggers. She holds Erin’s photo as she very short time NaTasha and her fam- to know that we’ve prayed for is surrounded by her family and Erin’s—Raenelle (sis- ily were here. Once they got in the you from the very day that we ter), DeWayne, and Bev.

ADVENTIST REVIEW, OCTOBER 19, 2000 (1703) 15 decided to donate Erin’s organs. I at pictures and videos of Erin, and got We’ve prayed, and can’t wait to see our didn’t know who you were or where acquainted. It was a wonderful meeting dreams come true. We know You’ve been you lived, but I did know that God and a special holiday gift to meet in dreaming about that too. Hearing Your knew and that you must be a very person one of the people for whom trumpet and Your words of welcome can’t special person. Meeting you is like a Erin had made a real difference. The happen soon enough. dream coming true for us. The fact evening had been a success for all of us. that you are here and in good health is As we waved goodbye and watched a miracle. Welcome!” a new part of our family drive away, The interview went on for a while. our thoughts were of home and the Bev Boyer is a teacher at Spencerville Later, after the TV crew had left and reunion that would never end. Lord, Adventist Academy in Silver Spring, the support people who had also been we’ve waited a long time for that day. Maryland. here went home, we had a chance just to visit. We shared life stories, looked

Organ and Tissue Donation—Some Facts to Know • Age is not a barrier to donation. • You can designate your organs and tissues for donation by signing and carrying an organ donor card. • You must inform your family of your wish to be an organ and tissue donor. Consent from next of kin is required before donation can proceed. • One donor can help or save the lives of as many as 25 transplant patients. • All major religions support organ and tissue donation. • Donation of vital organs is con- sidered when a person is dead by brain death criteria. The brain has permanently ceased functioning, while the heart, liver, lungs, kidneys, and pancreas continue to function with artificial support. • Tissues such as skin, bone, and heart valves can be donated up to 24 hours after death. Corneas can be donated up to 16 hours after death. • Donation can be considered only after every effort has been made to save the life of the patient. • Organ and tissue donation does not interfere with funeral services. For more information on organ donations, call the United Network for Organ Sharing at 1-800-292- 9548, write to UNOS, 1100 Boulders Parkway, Suite 500, Richmond, Virginia 23225, or visit the www.unos.org Web site.

16 (1704) ADVENTIST REVIEW, OCTOBER 19, 2000 BONNIE WALKER What to Do With Trouble?

t was my turn,” I yelled. I took a deep breath. “Well, we were fighting . . .” Joe grabbed me by my shirt. Rip! There went a button. “It was my fault,” said Joe. “I started it.” IMom would be mad. “You did not,” I said, surprised that Joe would admit he “No! It was my turn!” Joe shouted at me as spit sprayed was wrong. “I pushed you off the bars first.” my face. “Just a minute,” said Teacher. “Are either of you hurt?” I pushed Joe, and he shoved me against a post. “No, I’m OK,” Joe said. “That’s enough! Stop it at once.” It was our teacher. Teacher looked at me. “Are you hurt?” “Come with me—both of you,” she commanded. “No, ma’am. I’m fine,” I said. Back in our classroom she asked us, “Were you loving Teacher frowned. “You know we don’t allow fighting on your neighbor as yourself?” this playground. There are other ways of settling a quarrel. Joe shook his head, and I mumbled, “Guess not.” How What are they?” she asked. could I love Joe? “Talking it out,” both of us replied. Teacher made us face each other. I glared at Joe. He stuck “And . . . ?” prompted Teacher. out his tongue. “Asking for forgiveness,” we said. I thought back over what had happened. I turned to Joe. “Will you please forgive me for pushing We had been playing on the monkey bars, and it was my you off the bars?” (Teacher had drilled this format into us turn to cross. But Joe said it was his turn. I pushed him off the many times in class.) bars, and we started fighting. I didn’t think Teacher was going Joe sniffled. He needed a tissue again. “Yes,” he said, “I to get so upset. Now we were in trouble. forgive you. And will you forgive me for shoving you?” Just then someone knocked on the classroom door, and “Yeah, I forgive you too,” I said with a smile. Somehow I Teacher had to step into the hallway. She was gone a few wasn’t mad at Joe anymore. minutes. “Well, you may go now, but if this happens again we will The clock on the wall ticked loudly. I looked at Joe. Tears have to sit down with your folks. Do you understand?” said smudged his cheeks, and his hair was all mussed. His nose Teacher. was running. A tissue box was near me, so I handed him a “Sure,” we replied. tissue. When he blew it, it sounded like a trumpet. He I wondered why there was a slight smile on Teacher’s handed the tissue back to me. face. I heard her sigh as we left the room. “Uh, no thanks. You keep it,” I said. He shoved it into his pocket and slowly drew out a piece of gum. The wrapper was all grungy. “Want some gum?” he asked as Family Time he twisted the gum into two ☛Ask someone to read Deuteronomy 6:5; Leviticus 19:18; pieces. I thought a second or two. Mark 11:25; Mark 5:23, 24; and Matthew 18:15-17. Do you think “OK,” I said as I stared at the this applies today? Talk about it. wrapper. ☛Look at Mark 11:25 again. Why must you forgive someone “Go ahead. It’s good.” Joe who has hurt you? handed me a piece and chewed his ☛ gum loudly. Jacob and Esau finally made up (Genesis 33:1-17). Do Just then Teacher returned, so I you need to ask anyone for forgiveness? pushed my gum into my pocket. ☛Talk about how you can start to mend a broken relation- “Well,” said Teacher, “who ship following the advice in the above texts. wants to talk first? What’s the story here?” ✃

ADVENTIST REVIEW, OCTOBER 19, 2000 (1705) 17 WORLD NEWS & PERSPECTIVES B2K Challenges Church to Support Public Campus Ministry

BY CHRIS DRAKE, A STUDENT AT WALLA WALLA C OLLEGE IN C OLLEGE P LACE, WASHINGTON

omething special happened adult members to the Adventist AMiCUS, SDAnet, Weimar College, September 13-16, in Church is beginning to be validated.” and the General Conference of Berkeley, California, at the Dan Matthews (consultant for Faith Seventh-day Adventists. University of California. On for Today), Hyveth Williams (senior The backgrounds of the delegates a campus that has histori- pastor of the Campus Hill Seventh-day attending B2K were as varied as the Scally been on the cutting edge of social Adventist Church in Loma Linda, Berkeley campus itself. Attendees and political change, more than 200 California), and Ron Pickell (one of came from all over the United States students, church administrators, and the as well as Germany, Bangladesh, student ministry leaders attended grass- Ghana, England, and Kenya. College Berkeley 2000 (B2K). It was the first roots and university students from secular Seventh-day Adventist conference to leaders and Adventist campuses, graduate stu- specifically focus on secular campus in secu- dents, youth leaders, communication evangelism and ministry. lar cam- professionals, and world church leaders “One of our goals here was to create a network of fellowship on secular campuses around the world,” says William Sutton, Berkeley doctoral stu- dent and event organizer. IN SUPPLICA- TION: José “It has started the process that will Rojas lifts eyes provide continual reaffirmation, cross- heavenward as pollination, and accountability he gives words between secular campus ministry of inspiration groups,” says Dwight Nelson, confer- to Berkeley ence presenter and senior pastor of 2000 attend- Pioneer Memorial Seventh-day ees. Adventist Church in Berrien Springs, Michigan. According to Humberto Rasi, director of education for the Seventh- A PRAYER-FILLED MOMENT: After a rousing service in which he chal- day Adventist Church worldwide, it lenged the young adults present, North American Division youth and couldn’t have come at a better time. young adult director José Rojas dedicates the B2K coordinating ministry. “I think that this meeting has come at the right moment to galvanize the pus ministry) were just a few of those were all in attendance. Approximately movements that have begun on 50 to who came to show their support. “I am 21 colleges were represented. “I 60 campuses in North America,” he here to let young adults know that wanted personal growth and informa- says. “It brings these ministries they are supported by the Adventist tion on how to start an Adventist club together in perfect timing.” Church, which I represent,” said Ron on our campus,” said José Bosque, a

The support of the church was seen Whitehead, executive director of the biological science major at California , PPOC, ANN © 2000

at the conference. According to Center for Youth Evangelism and asso- State University at Stanislaus. UJAK B Celeste Ryan, media relations manager ciate youth director at the North “I learned better how to relate and DAM

for the North American Division American Division. There were also witness to people both on secular cam- . A R

(NAD), “the organizers of B2K have representatives on hand from Loma puses and in the real world,” said Phill : D done something that no other youth Linda University, Pacific Press, the Dupper, a deputy sheriff from San gatherings have been able to do: Adventist Review, La Sierra University, Bernardino, California. attract such a large number of church Maranatha Volunteers International, Sekai Nyambo, from Leicester, IGITAL IMAGING leadership. The importance of young Pacific Union College, Faith for Today, England, and a graduate student at the D

18 (1706) ADVENTIST REVIEW, OCTOBER 19, 2000 WORLD NEWS & PERSPECTIVES

University of Central England in the North American Chaplaincy Birmingham, was also encouraged by Ministries the responsibility of working the many groups on public campuses with the steering committee to coordi- that have active groups or are starting nate public campus ministry, mentor ministries. “I have felt very alone; we leaders, develop resources, and monitor have about 20 people in our group, but and track public campus ministries I realized at B2K that we are not alone. throughout the division; . . . I have been encouraged by what’s designate one year during this been suggested, and it’s changed my quinquennium (preferably 2002) to way of thinking, and my approach.” focus the NAD on the opportunities Attendees had the opportunity to and challenges facing students on non- learn through seminars, lectures, and A MATTER OF TRUST: A participant in one Adventist campuses; dialoguing with one another. Four of the interpersonal relationships seminars convene annual conferences and seminar sessions offered information shares her feelings on issues of trust. other events to train public campus on interpersonal relationships, campus student leaders on biblical principles of community evangelism, media evange- supporters did all this because they saw leadership and evangelism; lism, campus ministry organization, the vision that God gave them—and locate and engage in this ministry and other topics. Two general sessions, relied on God for the faith and Adventist faculty and staff currently one in the morning and one in the strength to do His will. Those serving in non-Adventist higher edu- evening, provided total group fellow- involved in organzing and operating cation; ship. B2K logged 27,000 miles of travel, had urge the seminary at Andrews Sabbath 62 meetings and 33 presentations, and University, and other Adventist insti- activities sent hundreds of e-mails and letters. tutions that are training ministers, to included a And despite a less-than-ideal number strengthen and expand curricula on convocation of conference-goers, B2K succeeded, how to minister to students on non- by Dwight according to those who attended. Adventist campuses and involve them Nelson and While providing networking oppor- in witness and evangelism; special tunities and training, B2K increased in encourage each conference in the music by scope when on opening night José NAD to respond to the urgency and the La Rojas, NAD youth and young adult need of appointing at least one person Sierra director, challenged attendees to con- to coordinate the ministry on non- University struct a document focusing on what Adventist college and university cam- HERE’S THE POINT: Vocal Octet. the church could do to facilitate secu- puses. Dwight Nelson, senior pas- Sabbath lar campus ministries. This challenge tor of the Pioneer afternoon produced the Berkeley Resolution, Kimberly Luste Maran also contributed to this Memorial church in report. Berrien Springs, Michigan, brought a along with a steering committee to motivates the young adult symposium guide the devel- Sabbath morning crowd entitled opment of this during the worship hour “God and movement. This sermon. the document rec- Cosmos,” ommends that moderated by William Johnsson, editor the church: of the Adventist Review. give seri- Sutton, who turned down a year’s ous attention full scholarship to Oxford University and support, to plan and hold B2K at the university, along with relates that many of his teammates sac- being financially rificed much for the event. “They committed, to missed work, missed class, missed the ministry and meals—they worked all night, drove evangelism on all night, typed e-mails all night—and non-Adventist they paid hundreds of dollars out of college and uni- their pockets. They pleaded for help versity cam- SING TO THE EAST AND THE WEST: The musical group Faith First, who from Toronto to Los Angeles.” puses; coordinated each musical praise service, concludes B2K on Saturday Sutton says that the organizers and assign to night as the audience enthusiastically joins in singing.

ADVENTIST REVIEW, OCTOBER 19, 2000 (1707) 19 WORLD NEWS & PERSPECTIVES Left Behind

BY MYRNA TETZ, MANAGING EDITOR, A DVENTIST R EVIEW

New Age blitzkrieg is building momentum Jerry B. Jenkins, came out last May and shot immediately to toward the target date of February 2, 2001, the top of the New York Times list of best-sellers,” says the reported the October 2000 Adventist ACN report. Communication Network News Bulletin. And what is the Seventh-day Adventist Church doing in “It started four years ago when Tyndale response? For one thing there’s a Wednesday night series of AHouse published a religious novel entitled Left Behind,” contin- 10 programs on ACN beginning January 10 with Steve ued the ACN report, “and will culminate in thousands of non- Wohlberg, pastor of the Fort Worth First Seventh-day Adventist churches renting movie theaters Adventist Church, who has done exten- on February 2 for the grand opening of the NEWS COMMENTARY sive research and writing on Israel and Hollywood dramatization of the rapture.” prophecy. The fictional account goes like this: An airline pilot, That’s good. But maybe we should consider, in our quest Captain Rayford Steele, guides his terror-filled 747 back to for credibility, using the same production schemes with the the ground with more than 100 empty seats where passengers same kinds of tools, and the same professionalism. If a had previously sat. Except for clothes, jewelry, eyeglasses, dramatization of “the rapture,” a clearly misinterpreted por- shoes, and socks, they have disappeared. Steele finds that his trayal of the end-time tribulation, could attract thousands wife and 12-year-old son have also vanished, but he and his and thousands, could we not present the story of salvation college-age daughter, Chloe, have been left behind. He and in such an attractive way that those who watch will thirst another passenger begin a frantic search for the truth.* for more? In addition, there will be 12 books soon.“Indwelling, the seventh book in this Left Behind series, by Tim LaHaye and *http://www.sleepycreek.com/books/index.html

NEWSBREAK

Warburton Hospital in grams over the past few years have been taxing for all. [Our] staff are to be commended for the manner in which Australia Sold they performed their duties during this difficult time.” fter more than 90 years serving the community and Many will question the decision to sell what has Arepresenting Adventists and Adventism in the Yarra become an icon of Adventism in this part of the world, Valley, Warburton Hospital in Victoria, Australia, has Bolst acknowledged. The recommendation made by the been sold. Warburton is the sec- board of trustees and endorsed by the ond Adventist hospital that’s been Trans-Australian Union Conference sold in the South Pacific in the executive committee seems harsh and past nine months. In December, unreasonable to many. However, it 1999, Auckland Adventist was evident that the finances required Hospital in New Zeland was sold. to continue operations were beyond Warburton chief executive offi- the resources of the union conference cer Eliot Bolst reported, “There is and Warburton Hospital, he said. deep sadness among the hospital The new owners, Prospa Pty., Ltd., staff, especially the Adventist staff will continue the operations as members. Many are grieving the loss presently structured. They also indi- of not only the institution to the church, but also their per- cated that they will continue the vegetarian menu, the ban sonal and deep involvement as employees for the church.” on alcohol on the property, and employment for all those Since the hospital was placed on the market two and staff who accept their offer of employment. a half years ago there has been much uncertainty and In light of other possibilities, when one considers what anxiety among the hospital staff. “The staff has coped may have occurred, Adventist leaders find it satisfying to well with the unknown,” Bolst observed. “The uncertain- know that the sale has been made to people who value ties of the future, the lack of funds to support operations Christian ideals and who will carefully assess the current adequately, and the inability of the institution to engage operations before effecting change, Borst pointed out. in capital improvement and necessary maintenance pro- Read more about this story on the Adventist Review

20 (1708) ADVENTIST REVIEW, OCTOBER 19, 2000 WORLD NEWS & PERSPECTIVES

Did You Know? For Your Good Health

Pastors Split on Marijuana Use “Pop” Go Teens’ Bones Teen girls who drink carbonated beverages have three A nationwide study of more than 500 Protestant times the risk of bone fractures as girls who never drink church pastors revealed that almost half supported legaliz- carbonated sodas. Researchers speculate that the phospho- ing marijuana for medical purposes. rus in many soft drinks may change the body’s chemistry, “It’s probably no surprise that eight out of 10 ministers ultimately leading to weaker bones. They also believe that strongly oppose legalizing marijuana, and another 12 per- soda consumption replaces calcium-rich beverages in a cent somewhat oppose this idea,” says Ron Sellers, presi- teen’s diet. Adolescence is a crucial time for bone develop- dent of Ellison Research, which conducted the study. What ment, and dietary choices will have long-term effects on may be a surprise to many people is that just 31 percent of their risk for developing osteoporosis in the future.— all ministers strongly oppose “legalizing marijuana only for Archives of Pediatrics & Adolescent Medicine. medical use, when prescribed by a medical doctor.” And 44 percent of all ministers support legalizing medical mari- Blood Pressure Booster on the Candy Aisle juana. Steer clear of licorice if you have high blood pressure. Swedish In the study, ministers were asked whether they support research has confirmed that even small amounts of licorice can or oppose changes to the status quo concerning a number cause a measurable, significant increase in blood pressure. A of controversial social and political topics, such as school chemical in licorice called glycyrrhetinic acid affects your body’s vouchers, abortion, and capital punishment. When asked hormones, which help regulate blood pressure. This study is the whether they support or oppose “legalizing marijuana for first to show that amounts as small as a few jellybeans daily will adult use,” 3 percent expressed strong support, 5 percent contribute to higher blood pressure.—The Endocrine Society. somewhat supported it, 12 percent somewhat opposed it, For Your Good Health is compiled by Larry Becker, editor of Vibrant Life, and 80 percent strongly opposed it. the church’s health outreach journal. To subscribe, call 1-800-765-6955.

NEWSBREAK

Web site at www.adventistreview.org. Discovery Channel. Frank Damazo, who acts as liaison between the Army, British Member Joins Olympic Team General Conference, and Whitecoat volunteers, says only 850 of the 2,300 volunteers have received their Among the scores of athletes who competed in the medals, certificates, history book, and information about Sydney 2000 Olympic Games was Daniel Caines, a mem- Whitecoat reunions. Damazo is seeking to contact the ber of the Chelmsley Wood Seventh-day Adventist other 1,450 volunteers. Church in Birmingham, England, reports John Surridge, Whitecoat volunteers or those with information of the British Union Conference. Caines competed in about participants may write Frank Damazo at 700 the men’s 400-meter track event. Montclaire Avenue, Frederick, Maryland 21701; call A runner for the Birchfield Harriers Athletic Club, (301) 662-4502; or e-mail [email protected]. Caines is the under-23-years-old national champion. He obtained a place on the British Olympic team after News Notes another team member withdrew over a drug controversy. Caines’ parents, Joe and Blondelle Caines, both former Carlyle Simmons, Bermuda Conference president, British champions, accompanied him to Sydney. Daniel was recently elected Atlantic Union Conference secre- reached the semifinals before being eliminated. tary. Simmons replaces Donald King, who became presi- dent of Northeastern Conference. Are You a Whitecoat Volunteer? LeRoy Finck, New Jersey Conference secretary, was elected conference president on August 31, 2000. Finck The U.S. Army wants to contact all servicemen replaces Dowell W. Chow, who became treasurer of the who participated in the Army’s Project Whitecoat Columbia Union Conference. between 1954 and 1973 at Fort Detrick in Frederick, Daniel R. Jackson, Manitoba-Saskatchewan Con- Maryland. About 2,300 volunteer servicemen partici- ference president, was recently elected British Columbia pated in more than 350 research projects. The program Conference president. Jackson replaces Reo Ganson, who was recently showcased in a documentary on the became president of Canadian University College.

ADVENTIST REVIEW, OCTOBER 19, 2000 (1709) 21 BY LOIS PECCE DEVOT

NE THING THAT’S ALWAYS INTRIGUED me about the Bible is the phrase “And God said . . . ,” with which God commands His “Speak to prophets and people. The fact that the great omnipotent God breaks through the barriers Oof infinity to convey a message to a human being at some The Lord speaks place and time on Planet Earth is mind-boggling. As a child, I fantasized about the story of Samuel. If God in more ways than one. spoke to that little boy in his bed, couldn’t He speak to me in mine? “Please, God, I’m listening,” I’d whisper, waiting and things, and through whom he made the universe” (NIV). hoping to hear His voice while staring wide-eyed into the While it seems at times from the Bible record that God dark. All I would hear was silence. isn’t much of a talker, one must consider that God doesn’t Haven’t you ever wanted God to give you a clear com- need words or voice to accomplish His designs. His power is in mand? Haven’t you ever wanted Him to say, “Go to this who He is. His very thoughts can become substance. Ellen school. Choose this career. Enter this relationship”? Life White describes Christ as “God’s thought made audible.” 1 would be so much easier if we didn’t have to think and won- In this sense, there is never a moment of silence in the uni- der; if we just had His voice to direct us: “Go here, go there, verse or on the earth. Every drop of water, every singing bird, do this, do that.” every blade of grass proclaims God’s power and will. Every God is always seeking relationships with His people. breath we take is a communication of God’s love and care. Rather than barking orders from a command center or pro- Human language is but one of His many and lesser forms of gramming us like robots, He has cre- speech. “Cease striving,” He says, ated us in His “likeness” (Gen. “and know that I am God” (Ps. 1:26)* and given us power to reason 46:10). Other interpretations say: “Be and choose. Fear and doubt are not Every breath we still” (NIV), “let go,” “relax.” bad things—unless we give them This reassures me that God doesn’t control. Questions are good if we take is a commu- have to speak out loud or give me search honestly for the answers. In dreams and visions to prove His pres- fact, we learn little if we don’t have ence or demonstrate that He cares questions and our minds aren’t open nication of God’s about me. Certainly I’d like to hear to inquiry. His audible voice, but there are many love and care. other ways I can “hear” Him. When I Like Children—Curious and need guidance, I can look to the prin- Expectant ciples laid down for others, because Working with the youngest children in church, I am those same principles can guide me. As David said: “Thy word intrigued and delighted as I observe them developing and is a lamp to my feet, and a light to my path” (Ps. 119:105). learning. They’re constantly filled with curiosity and questions. “Thy word,” he says, “I have treasured in my heart, that I may They ask, “What’s this? What’s that?” They want to feel not sin against Thee” (verse 11). What’s important is receiv- things, examine them, test what they can do. Parents (and ing the word He has given and treasuring it in my heart. teachers) derive great pleasure from a child’s joy of discovery Christ spoke of people who “while hearing they do not and learning. Actually, words are the least important tools of hear, nor do they understand” (Matt. 13:13). Unfortunately, communication and learning. Unquestionably the most impor- sin and a sinful world have conditioned our minds to hear tant is love and the ongoing presence—visible or near—of a what we want to hear. parent or parent figure. The second most important tool is When we desire God to speak to us in ways other than He example or demonstration. The third is personal experience. has, we invite danger or trouble into our lives. To covet “new God calls us His “little children.” Since He “invented” light” when we do not follow existing light is to lay ourselves parents and children, it stands to reason that He communi- open for deception and delusion. Roger Morneau’s book cates with us in the same ways that we communicate with Beware of Angels gives a prime example of how far earnest, each other—with expressions of love and presence, by praying, “new light”-seeking people can fall from truth, for example or demonstration, and by allowing us to experience failure to listen to what God has already said. They too cried, for ourselves. Hebrews 1:1, 2 describes His methods: “In the “Speak to me, Lord,” and devils were ready to answer. 2 past God spoke to our forefathers through the prophets at If we should covet anything, it should be godly wisdom. many times and in various ways, but in these last days he has We should pray for understanding and discernment. James 1:5, spoken to us by his Son, whom he appointed heir of all 6 says, “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who

22 (1710) ADVENTIST REVIEW, OCTOBER 19, 2000 IONAL Me, God”

gives to all men generously and without beyond the pain or frustration of the reproach, and it will be given to him. moment. *Unless otherwise indicated, all BIble quota- tions in this article are from the New American But let him ask in faith without any Infinitely greater is the scope of Standard Bible. doubting.” God’s love and plans for us. “ ‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares 1 Ellen G. White, The Desire of Ages, p. 19. 2 Roger Morneau, Beware of Angels (Review For Our Good the Lord, ‘plans for welfare and not for and Herald Pub. Assn., 1997). One of our family’s greatest pleasures calamity to give you a future and a

IGITAL COMPOSITE is watching our grandchild grow in hope. Then you will call upon Me and / D knowledge and understanding. We do come and pray to Me, and I will listen Lois Pecce is a freelance ISC

D all we can to facilitate this process. to you. And you will seek Me and find writer from Dayton, Ohio,

HOTO There are times she rebels against our Me, when you search for Me with all and a member of the Dayton

© P rules and restraints, but we still con- your heart’ ” (Jer. 29:11-13). Christian Scribes, a local tinue to love her. Our plans for her How much more plainly can God writers’ organization. HOTOS P reach into the ultimate future, far speak?

ADVENTIST REVIEW, OCTOBER 19, 2000 (1711) 23 PASSAGES IN MANHATTAN Questions . . . JENNIFER MAE BARIZO and Answers

You are so young, so much before all beginning, and I would “No matter what criticisms I have, I want you to know like to beg you . . . to have patience with everything unresolved in that it is beautiful, how you play,” he said. “No matter what your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they mistakes you make, it is good enough.” Those were his exact were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. . . . words as he stood beside me. Live the questions now. Perhaps then . . . you will gradually . . . “Now,” he admonished, “sing as you play; mouth the live your way into the answer.—Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a words, ‘Sanctus, Sanctus.’ ” Young Poet “Sanctus,” I murmured. “No! Like you mean it! Sanc- n 1903 Czech writer Rainer tus!” he said, lifting his arms. “Like Maria Rilke began correspond- you are lifting up your heart in ing with a student who had praise.” sent Rilke poems for evalua- After the master class I sat tion. The student was looking Did anyone exhausted on my windowsill. I was Ifor answers and affirmation, and inspired, but did anyone else hear Rilke advised him to find them else hear my my heart’s praise? within himself, to “live your way The phone beside me rang; it was into the answer.” heart’s praise? my friend Danny. I told him that I I read that phrase, “you are so had performed. young, so much before all begin- “I know,” he responded. “I was ning,” and something starts to standing on the balcony listening. It tighten around my heart. It’s as if was so beautiful, as though every Rilke is speaking to me alone, as if he knows that I feel like note was a hymn to God.” an expectant bud, ready to lift my petals up toward the sun. A chill ran through me. But I have so many questions—and I’m impatient for the God speaks to me through people. Some of them I’ve answers. known for years; some are strangers. Some of them are peo- I attended an international music festival this past sum- ple I meet after a performance, and the look in their eyes mer, where I performed in a number of master classes. I tells me that they understand, through my music, the things would perform for a renowned teacher and a knowledgeable I have been trying to put into words all my life. audience, after which the teacher would critique me in front The rest of week I walked around in a strange daze, of the attentive crowd. moved by the way God was speaking to me. As I played, I was thinking of the competition I wouldn’t But I had one more question. I was sitting beside the be participating in because it was being held on the upcoming Russian teacher at the closing reception of the music festi- Sabbath. I was thinking of the arts scene in the city, where val. I’m finishing my degree in less than a year, I thought to too many people think that atheism is the in thing, that drugs myself. Where do I go from here? are peace, and that sex is the closest thing to heaven they’ll “I don’t know what I’m doing next year,” I mumbled non- ever experience. I was thinking, Why do I play? chalantly. I can still hear the music of the teacher’s voice in my ear. I can still hear the music of my teacher’s voice in my ear: “Why do you play it like this?” he asked. “Do you know “Come, next year, to Jerusalem. I want you to study with whom Bach wrote for?” me.” “For God,” I replied. Study with this world-renowned artist in the place where “So why don’t you play it as though you are rejoicing to Jesus walked? God?” The answer is yet to come. This Russian teacher (who lives in Israel) was giving me answers to the questions of my heart. Jennifer Mae Barizo is studying music performance I began to play again, but I fumbled. I was nervous, and in New York City. Her e-mail address is the stares of the audience seemed to be boring holes into my [email protected]. skin. I was thinking, Am I good enough? The teacher was beside me, searching my eyes.

24 (1712) ADVENTIST REVIEW, OCTOBER 19, 2000 Union College drama group in 1989, scenes described on the tapes. this exciting adventure story keeps In 1912 Ellen White stated that young and old listening intently while “through its instrumentality hundreds building character and providing and thousands have been converted.” 2 insight into one’s own spiritual jour- This aged book is one example of how ney. I listened to the audio book dur- “fiction” can be used to portray saving ing my daily commute; it stretched my truth. imagination in a delightful way, yet led to careful self-examination. A coloring 1 Ellen G. White, The Great Controversy, p. 252. book for children fits many of the 2 The New Amplified ———, in Review and Herald, May 30, 1912. Pilgrim’s Progress Original version by John Bunyan; adapted by James Pappas, Jr., 1999, 348 pages, US$19.95, hard- cover. Available through ABCs and Amazon.com. Also available is an audio drama adapted from the original text, Jim and Linda Pappas, producers, six hours, US$24.95. The Pilgrim’s Progress Coloring Book, illustrated by R. D. Ringo, cover art by Jimi Claybooks, Orion’s Gate, Dobbins, California, US$5.00. Reviewed by Ella Rydzewski, Adventist Review editorial assistant.

John Bunyan lived from 1628 to 1688, and after his conversion he began preaching. Because of his zeal and love for Christ, church and politi- cal authorities had him imprisoned. According to Ellen White, “In a loath- some dungeon . . . John Bunyan breathed the very atmosphere of heaven; and there he wrote his won- derful allegory of the pilgrim’s journey from the land of destruction to the celestial city.” 1 Translated into more than 70 languages, Pilgrim’s Progress still lights the path of salvation for thousands. Originally written in seven- teenth-century English, the text has been amplified by Jim Pappas, making this immortal classic easier to read for a twenty-first-century audience. From their own publishing house, Orion’s Gate, Linda and James Pappas also sell a dramatized audio tape adapted from the text of Pilgrim’s Progress. Produced with a Pacific

26 (1714) ADVENTIST REVIEW, OCTOBER 19, 2000 CURRENT ISSUES

BY ED CHRISTIAN

SK ANY of Christians consider Christ’s deacon. It’s a command that we wash each well-known fact other’s feet literal and binding. that on Communion Sabbath perhaps only about half the Why Humility, Anyway? Aregular members of most congregations will show up. Some Why then do we do it? How can we overcome our fear of slip away after Sabbath school. Others satisfy a longstanding it? How can we best appreciate it? What blessings will be desire to visit the church in the next town. There’s some- ours if we practice it? thing about Communion Sabbath that breeds colds, flu, The Bible seldom mentions humility. In the Old bronchitis, and gout. Testament the humble, like the poor, are seen as mistreated Why is that? I don’t think it’s because the day is so bor- people who will someday get what they have coming to ing. I don’t think it’s because people are against celebrating them. The apostles seem to recognize the value of humility, Communion. Frankly, I think it’s because many people think but are too busy spreading the gospel to dwell on it. of what we call “the ordinance of humility” as an ordeal of But Jesus, Son of God and Lord of the universe, not only humility: they suffer from fear of foot washing. taught but exemplified an extreme and general humility, and I can understand. In the first 16 years after I was baptized nowhere more movingly than at the Last Supper. Humility is I participated in Communion only one time, and all because such an alien concept in our sinful world that it can seem IGITALLY MODIFIED

/ D I was far too shy to ask someone if I could wash his feet—or somehow unnatural, inhuman. We sometimes suspect that

ISC worse, if he would wash mine. How embarrassing it seemed. those who seem humble are actually hypocritical schemers. D It was far easier simply to disappear after Sabbath school and Yet Jesus taught us that humility is a virtue. HOTO face up to Mom and Dad’s hurt looks later. Ellen White writes in The Desire of Ages: “There is in man © P Christ’s washing of His disciples’ feet appears in only one a disposition to esteem himself more highly than his brother, HOTO

P of the Gospels—John 13:1-17—and only a small percentage to work for self, to seek the highest place; and often this

ADVENTIST REVIEW, OCTOBER 19, 2000 (1715) 27 SSOCIATION FILE A UBLISHING P ® ERALD H EVIEW AND , R AKER B KIP S HOTO BY P results in evil surmisings and bitterness we’re humble, we don’t stone those who attain and hard to retain, the ordinance of spirit. The ordinance preceding the have sinned: we plead with them and of humility is a precious opportunity for Lord’s Supper is to clear away these mis- forgive them. To be humble is to say, us to humble ourselves as we ought, and understandings, to bring man out of his “Whatever I am, whatever my merits in its value is inestimable. As Ellen White selfishness, down from his stilts of self- human eyes, my goodness compared writes: “Whenever this ordinance is exaltation, to the humility of heart that with the goodness of Christ is but filthy rightly celebrated, the children of God will lead him to serve his brother.” 1 rags. I am fit only to serve. How can I are brought into a holy relationship, to If we’re humble, we don’t blame the serve you?” help and bless each other.” 2 poor for their poverty: we help them. If Because this humility is both hard to When Jesus, after sharing the

28 (1716) ADVENTIST REVIEW, OCTOBER 19, 2000 Passover meal with His disciples, knelt ing the service, or focus the mind on fessed, they are forgiven. The subduing like the lowliest of servants to wash other things. But to do that is to miss a grace of Christ comes into the soul, His disciples’ feet, the disciples were wonderful blessing. and the love of Christ draws hearts mortified. None of them had consid- Ellen White’s rich description of together in a blessed unity.” 3 ered himself subservient enough to those blessings in the chapter titled “A serve his friends. Now the Master, Servant of Servants” deserves to be Overcoming the Fear unquestionably superior to all of them, quoted at length. She writes: “Christ How can we overcome our fear of was stooping to the task. When Peter in the fullness of His grace is there foot washing? The first step is to recog- protested, it was because what Jesus [during the ordinance of humility] to nize the possible blessings we can gain was doing was humiliating. To see change the current of the thoughts from it and determine that we want to Christ in such a posture wrenched him that have been running in selfish share in them. The second step is to to his soul. As well it ought. channels. The Holy Spirit quickens realize that it may always make us a bit As we practice the ordinance of the sensibilities of those who follow nervous but that the first few times humility it is not only the washing take the most courage. The third is of the feet of others that embar- to try it and to be open to its power. rasses us, but, perhaps more so, hav- Many churches these days have ing our own feet washed. There’s rooms where husbands and wives something private about the wash- can share the ordinance of humility ing of feet, quite different from the What Christian with each other. If yours doesn’t, ask washing of hands. Like certain med- your pastor about it. Washing the ical examinations, it can seem an feet of someone with whom you are invasion of something that is ours could say no— intimate is much easier than wash- alone. ing the feet of an acquaintance. Don’t stay away from church on Most husbands and wives benefit Communion Sabbath because foot and what enemy greatly from these moments of washing embarrasses you. Treasure humility, for because of their close- that embarrassment. There are psy- ness, lots of petty and even unrecog- chological reasons that it’s there and could remain nized resentments can build up that it’s important. week by week. Washing each other’s I remember when, running feet can do more good than hours through the woods at age 10, I fell unmoved? with a therapist. and scraped my palm quite badly on My second experience of foot a rock, embedding tiny bits of washing came when I was 28, a few gravel. They had to come out, so my days after my wife, Margaret, and I grandmother, using a needle, dug became engaged. I was longing to them out. She was as careful and gen- the example of their Lord. As the escape the service, yet felt that I tle as she could be, and I didn’t make a Saviour’s humiliation for us is remem- mustn’t, considering that God had sound, but the pain of it made me pass bered, thought links with thought; a just given me such a lovely fiancée. out. When I awoke, my unconscious- chain of memories is called up, memo- I had never heard of family foot wash- ness frightened me and lowered my ries of God’s great goodness and of the ing, but when Margaret explained it, inhibitions so much that I burst into favor and tenderness of earthly friends. I liked the idea. When her father said, tears, much to my embarrassment. Blessings forgotten, mercies abused, “Why don’t you and Margaret go to (When something physically or psy- kindnesses slighted, are called to mind. the family room?” I really felt I had chologically jarring occurs to us, we Roots of bitterness that have crowded been accepted into her family. That become unusually susceptible to emo- out the precious plant of love are made foot-washing service, so long delayed, tion. If you don’t believe that, think of manifest. Defects of character, neglect was so intense that during the a time your car was wrecked, you fell of duties, ingratitude to God, coldness Communion that followed I had an on the ice, or your child nearly toward our brethren, are called to overwhelming feeling of the presence drowned.) remembrance. Sin is seen in the light of Christ—a truly meaningful way to Foot washing is like that. Because in which God views it. Our thoughts begin an engagement. it’s unusual, because it’s embarrassing, are not thoughts of self-complacency, The most moving foot washing for it breaks something open in us, lowers but of severe self-censure and humilia- me occurred in Beijing, China, in our inhibitions, opens doors to the soul tion. The mind is energized to break 1984. It was the first time the ordi- so that God’s Spirit can flow in. This down every barrier that has caused nance of humility had been allowed spiritual opening to God’s grace can be alienation. Evil thinking and evil- there in decades, and the Chinese easily missed if we chat and laugh dur- speaking are put away. Sins are con- Adventists were excited. I was very

ADVENTIST REVIEW, OCTOBER 19, 2000 (1717) 29 nervous—I had participated with ing for you before the ordinance of After we’ve finished, it’s a sweet someone other than my wife only once humility. I wanted to wash your feet.” thing to put our heads together and in my life, and there was no family Although he didn’t get to do so, this pray quietly in turn, asking God’s for- room here. I would have preferred to brother’s forgiveness and humility led giveness and thanking Him for the slip out the back. the two to put aside their differences opportunity to open ourselves to each Old Brother Xu, though, one of the and spend the afternoon talking and other and to Him. This prayer, so often most godly men I’ve ever known, praying together. The humility of foot neglected, yields a wonderful feeling of asked me to share the service with washing breaks us and binds us. closeness. him. I’m so glad he did. As I washed We will be more open to the mov- We will be further blessed if, as we his ancient, gentle feet, scarred from ing of God’s Spirit if we reverently, return to the sanctuary, we remain the torture he had endured for his faith without speaking, enter the room silent. As we wait we can sit with eyes during long years in prison, I almost closed, thinking about Christ’s suf- felt I was washing the feet of Christ. fering, His sacrifice, His presence. Surely this was no humiliation, but As we eat the bread and drink the service due. And as he washed wine we can wait, every nerve mine, his white head bowed before As I washed aquiver, for the overwhelming force me, I knew how Peter felt: I was not of Christ’s Spirit filling us. worthy. Yet in Christ and before If we do these things in this way, God we were brothers. his ancient, gentle we will feel Christ’s Spirit. It will settle on us, dwell in us, and lead us Preparing for Blessing feet, scarred from to love one another as Christ has The key to such an experience is loved us. We may feel shaky; we our attitude. If we want the Holy the torture he had may have to blink back tears; but Spirit to fill our hearts during the we will be blessed. As Ellen White ordinance of humility, we can start writes: “The soul will be uplifted. by making it a solemn preparation endured for his We can partake of the Communion for the symbolic reception of with a consciousness of sins for- Christ’s body and blood during the faith during long given. The sunshine of Christ’s Communion service. If we want to righteousness will fill the chambers feel His presence, we must be will- years in prison, of the mind and the soul temple. ing to become as humble and open We ‘behold the Lamb of God, to emotion as little children. Like which taketh away the sin of the an aeolian harp set on a windowsill, I almost felt I was world.’ ” 4 played by the slightest breath of a This is what the ordinance of breeze, we must sit quietly and be washing the feet humility, along with the Lord’s willing to let the Spirit move us. Supper, is all about. Once you’ve We can prepare for the foot of Christ. experienced it in this way, once washing during the days before you’ve beheld the Lamb of God, you Communion Sabbath by thinking will never again fear it. Instead, it about the humility it represents, by will seem like a foretaste of heaven. asking forgiveness of those we have hurt. Perhaps the best choice of a per- where the ordinance will take place. son with whom to participate is the As we wash each other’s feet it is help- 1 Ellen G. White, The Desire of Ages, p. 650. 2 Ibid., p. 651. person we least get along with in the ful to concentrate on the act and its 3 Ibid., pp. 650, 651. church. We could call the person up, symbolic meaning, relishing the 4 Ibid., p. 651. tell them we’re sorry, ask them to share thought that we are both ministering the ordinance of humility with us. to and accepting the ministry of a What Christian could say no—and human who is as sinful as we are and what enemy could remain unmoved? yet, through Christ’s sacrifice, also as After the Sabbath foot washing and perfect as we are in the sight of God. Communion service at the 1998 We can think of the time Christ did Jerusalem Bible Conference, a notori- this for His disciples. And as we do, we Ed Christian chairs the ously liberal professor approached a can open our minds to God’s Spirit, English Department at notoriously conservative scholar who letting forgiveness flood our thoughts. Kutztown University, had written disparagingly of his ideas Kutztown, Pennsylvania. and said, in my presence, “I was look- Potentiating the Blessing

30 (1718) ADVENTIST REVIEW, OCTOBER 19, 2000 REFLECTIONS Unanswered Prayer— JULIE BONEY An Oxymoron

n oxymoron is a combination of contradictory have found that the best way to hear His answers on a con- or incongruous words. Our language is full of sistent basis is to get to know Him. Try to spend at least one oxymorons. For example, how can a person hour with Him, alone and uninterrupted, each day. If you be a “cheerful pessimist”? Or how can you have to rise earlier to do it you will find that it is worth the give someone a “definite maybe” or an “exact extra effort. You can begin by praising Him. Sing your praise, Aestimate”? But one of the most contradictory or incongruous speak your praise out loud or silently, or write your praise in a expressions of them all is “unan- journal. If you are too depressed to swered prayer.” think of anything to praise Him for, What is an unanswered prayer? If read one of the psalms, and let you think you aren’t getting answers David praise Him for you. to your prayers, think again. To pray The psalms are also full of con- is to address God with adoration, fessions. As you read you might be confession, supplication, and reminded of something in your life thanksgiving. The whole idea of for which you need to ask forgive- prayer is communion with God. ness. Take time to reflect over the Communion is an act of sharing. It past day. Are all your sins forgiven? implies mutual response—not nec- You can ask Him to bring to your essarily verbal response—but remembrance anything that you PRINGER S response in some form. need to confess. OEL J One reason we think that God Next, find something else to read does not answer prayer is that He from the Bible or from some other HOTO BY

P doesn’t necessarily answer in the devotional book. This will allow way we expect. In other words, we Him to continue to speak to you. don’t recognize the answer. We think we already know what Can’t think of what to read? Ask Him, quietly wait for an it is, and we expect Him to confirm what we think we answer, and He will put something in your mind. already know. When you don’t get what you want, you say Then approach Him with your requests. I always have so that God didn’t answer your prayer. There are two things many things to pray about. You probably will too. Start a wrong with that idea. First, He really did answer—He said written prayer list. Whenever someone asks you to pray for no (for whatever good reason He had). Second, He didn’t them, write their name on your list. Write the names of fam- promise to give you everything you ask for. What He has ily members whom you want to remember, and other promised is that He will, at least, answer by giving you peace requests. Be sure to include thanksgiving, and you can claim when you pray. (Read Philippians 4:6, 7.) the promise of peace that He has given in Philippians 4:6, 7. Another reason we think that God does not answer is Finally, sit quietly and listen. Sometimes a Bible text that we just aren’t listening. His answers don’t always come comes to my mind; sometimes He impresses me with the in “things.” Sometimes they come in impressions, or through answers. Sometimes the answers were in what I had read other people, or through things we read. earlier. Sometimes the answers come later. He never fails to My friend Yvette was going out of town and needed give me an answer in some form. someone to watch her children while she was gone. She had I challenge you to get to know Him through reading the several people, including me, in mind, so she prayed and letter He has written to you. When you approach Him in asked the Lord to tell her which person she should ask. I prayer, you will find that there is no such thing as unan- thought about Yvette at the exact time she was praying, and swered prayer. Unanswered prayer is an oxymoron. suddenly I felt that I should call her. She accepted that call as an answer to her prayer, and she asked me to keep her Julie Boney is a technical writer living in children. I did—gladly. Maplewood, Minnesota. Listening to God and understanding what His will is for us is an exercise that takes practice. With just an occasional prayer darted to heaven, we are sure to miss His answers. I

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