Lenten Sundays - 2016 The Grain of Wheat Sunday of Preparation - 13 March 2016 1

The Grain of Wheat

Abouna Matta El-Meskeen “Unless a grain wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone” (John 12:24).

EFORE HIS CRUCIFIXION, Jesus told the Greeks the parable of the grain of wheat. He B began to explain it with these words: “He who loves his life loses it, and he who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life” (John 12:25). “For whoever would save his life will lose it and whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel’s will save it” (Mark 8:35). “He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for my sake will find it” (Matthew 10:39). “Remember Lot’s wife: whoever seeks to gain his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life will preserve it” (Luke 17:32-33).

The self comes between the body and the soul, said St. Isaac. It is either united with the body and takes its part against the spirit, or united with the spirit and works with it against the body. So the soul can be either physical or spiritual. The Bible says in Galatians 5:17: “For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh: for these are opposed one to another, to prevent you from what you would!”

The self is the seat and source of all emotions, and it is embodied in one’s physical life. The spirit however is the basis and expression of all that is spiritual, in touch with God and in loving relationship with Him. We are called to make the self lean towards the spirit, so that we may obtain everlasting life. For if the self leans towards the bodily, or carnal, life it will be destroyed and we shall be deprived of eternal life. The flesh is of dust; it returns to the dust and dies. That is why the Bible says, “ The wages of sin are death” and in Romans 8:13 we also read: “To set the mind on the flesh is death”. He who clings to what is vain will die, and he who accumulates vain things will die with them. The Spirit that is in man is the breath of God. This makes man a living soul, with a living body. 2 In baptism a new birth for man is achieved; it is called the birth from above (this is to distinguish it from physical birth). The new birth is accomplished by the Holy Spirit at work in the soul, which then becomes united with Him. Thus man’s spirit becomes joined and bonded to God. So the person baptised into Jesus is said to be ‘born of God’. He can thus be called a son of God through the power of Jesus Christ. This adoption–being made a child of God–enables a person to live according to the laws of God. The person who remains faithful to God and is inspired by Him will live eternally with Him, for the baptised man, born of water and the Spirit, is born of God–that is reborn from above. After being baptised, he is invited to live a life according to the Spirit, although he still lives in the flesh. The flesh is originally a creation with no corruption, despite all human passion and lusts. It is created to yield to the spiritual law and be controlled by the spirit, yet without losing any of a man’s natural passions and desires, though if the flesh yields to, and is controlled by, the Spirit it becomes a complete and well-balanced being and can look forward to a life which is longer, more peaceful and happier (according to the flesh).

However, this new beginning in the spiritual life is complete; we start the new birth as it were from scratch. The flesh, on the other hand, has already been living for a long time without the control or guidance of the Spirit, thus allowing human lust and passion to grow unnaturally. A man has lived with and in sin for so long that he has allowed it to posses his whole being and so has lived long with sin. Sin is naturally of the flesh and the carnal mind neglects the laws of God, coming to hate any spiritual law that limits its physical pleasure, self-pride and ego. Therefore the spiritual life which results from the new birth is only made possible through the power of the Gospel–under the Holy Spirit Himself, His guidance and leadership.

The flesh therefore becomes uneasy, and feels that is hated by the new self that remains bonded to the flesh. The new self, still united to its natural passions and lusts, may become proud and independent. There is a resulting conflict between the spirit growing within the man reborn of God–in unity with the Holy Spirit–and the rebellious body and soul that tends to be drawn back to the old self. The Gospel thus begins to lay down the laws and practical steps required to release the spirit of the new man, so that he may not be converted back to his fleshly nature through its bond tons spirit, for the new man still shares the one existence with the old self!

The old self is the man of sin and lust, pride and false freedom. His ego is his only concern– his thoughts, his labours, his hates, griefs and joys, his peace and fears, his glory and even his worship! He works so as to glorify himself, and if he does not achieve glory thereby, he despises his work. He loves, but only when his ego and pride have been satisfied; he hates because he has not been successful and honoured. He is sad because he has been injured and his spirit has lost its source of pleasure; he is satisfied because he has achieved his passions, joy and pleasure. He feels at peace when comfortable with circumstances; but he is afraid when he loses his sense of security. He fights and compromises and struggles, all to bring glory to himself, but becomes lazy and sleeps and ceases to strive, if there is no glory to be achieved. 3 The old man worships and prays and prolongs prayers: he is diligent in singing hymns so as to appear religious and be held in high esteem by those who think he is very godly, but there is no one to observe and flatter him, he neglects his worship and fasting and shortens his prayer time, rushing through his devotions. In Matthew 6:16 we read: “They disfigure their faces that their fasting may be seen by men. Truly I say to you, they have their reward.”

Thus is life with all its toil, and its greater or lesser responsibilities toward others and God! All depends on the state of a man’s spirit, for in the end, man’s only harvest is a handful of dust. As for the human spirit, however it strives, destruction is its fate. Having enjoyed worldly glory and earthly pleasures, it has been deprived of eternal life: “The man who loves his life will lose it; while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life” (John 12:25).

In this way Jesus pictures ‘self ’ as the true enemy–the only real enemy that stands in the path of man’s salvation and eternal life. Jesus ordered us to love our enemies, but he also ordered us to hate ourselves. Only if man hates himself can he find the one true door to reach the depths of the Spirit, for man’s soul or ‘self ’ is like a dark covering that binds the spirit, and makes it unable to obey God’s command to be pure in spirit. This prevents the new man from developing spiritually, being in a constant with God and winning through to eternal life.

The self controls all man’s actions, both physical and spiritual, so the Holy Spirit remains imprisoned and dimmed within a man’s inner self. A man must master his fleshly passions and his natural spirit, and overcome all its power - turning it to dustin his hands and laying it down in the earth at his feet. Then and only then can the Holy Spirit become active and radiant. Man’s spirit will shine forth through the dimness of the body and spirit; it will actively work the deeds of light and, rejoicing in its salvation, will live for God.

We can choose either the one or the other - to enjoy the liberty of the flesh and the soul, which both lead to destruction, sin and eternal damnation, or to exercise control, renouncing all the license that leads to destruction and sin, so the spirit is released and soars forth to reflect the light.

You cannot have liberty of the flesh and body and also enjoy the freedom of the spirit that is united with the Holy Spirit. The old man or ‘self ’ must first renounce his sinful deeds and the liberty that will surely lead to destruction. The new man has to become active, made according to God’s creative law, and thus enabled to live for God in holiness and truth.

4 How the old ‘self’ decays and dies so that the new one may live and flourish It does not lie within man’s power to kill the old self or to make alive the new one. God alone has the power to make dead the old and to make the new one alive in all its fullness! The moment a person is baptised by water and the Holy Spirit, God himself begins to bring death to the old ‘self ’. He continues to do so until the very last moment of that person’s life. The following section expands on the practices listed below. These are things which we should make our primary concern for the sake of death of the old self and the growth of the new self: a) To be fully aware of what God is doing in us, in order to kill the old self and bring to life the new one, and so perfect our salvation; b) To accept all the means or measures God takes to fulfil His plan; c) Not to put obstacles in God’s way of completing His plan in due time; d) Not to falsify God’s work, by pretending that the old self is dead when it is not, or to make it appear that it has developed into the mature new man, when it is still like a mere child or even an embryo; e) Not to be anxious to take on spiritual responsibilities before being sure that one is spiritually mature; f) To put oneself completely in the hands of God, whose power is ever at work until a man’s spirit is made free.

a) To be fully aware of what God is doing in us, in order to kill the old self and bring to like the new one, and so perfect our salvation.

God begins his plan with the new birth, which is through baptism by water and the Spirit. Either in spiritual infancy, when man starts to grow and understand the meaning of repentance, or when he has become an adult, he begins to put this ‘self ’ in a corner and subdue it by defeating its power; eventually he kills this ‘self ’.

This is a very hard process, so God uses all possible measures, direct or indirect, to attack the ‘self ’. He applies constant pressure - a pressure which never ceases. God could choose different means but is content to act in this way, for He has one goal - to destroy man’s pride and its power, and to break the bonds that imprison the spirit of the new man.

The self is under siege within the body; seeking to avoid God’s blows against it, it may appear at first to sicken but it then recovers. So God constantly changes His means of attack. At home, for example, He may use parents, brothers and sisters; at school or in the street He may use one’s friends. If these means fail, He uses a person’s employer or rivals, or else his job and

5 reputation. If such methods also fail, He uses the power of natural creation, animals and insects, by inflicting weakness or illness. Finally, if all things fail, man is delivered into the hands of Satan, who will humiliate him and apply such discipline as God in His love has not used. The devil is merciless in his activity, and thus man is at last humbled and brought down to the dust!

So far God is dealing with man’s old self by direct or indirect means. Because of hi immense love for mankind, all is done for man’s salvation–to give him his inheritance of everlasting life, so he will be brought into God’s glorious presence. Within man’s inner soul God will be at work; it will be there that He will dwell and remain. Throughout this period of discipline, with its constant blows and pressure, He breaks and yet binds up, He kills only that He may make alive! All this happens in the new man, who is beloved by God and united with Him.

At first man becomes confused and troubled, due to his own ignorance, as well as the lack of people in his life who are guides trained in leading souls. Man thinks that God has forgotten or neglected him and that because he is sinful grace has departed from him. This disciplinary period is so prolonged that he feels himself unworthy of the spiritual life. He begins to curse others and his circumstances, his family, friends and superiors, blaming his bad luck or thinking he has been wronged, or maybe even the victim of persecution or cruelty. He may confront God with accusations and become further alienated from Him. At times he laments and complains, at other times he petitions God, prays and fasts in the hope that things will improve and that God will no longer treat him so unjustly. The situation worsens, because man is ignorant of God’s wise plan, full of such loving tenderness. God desires the destruction of the old flesh and the stubborn proud ego of man, because it has plotted with the flesh to bring man to utter damnation. b) To accept all the means or measures God takes to fulfil His plan. There is a great gulf between God’s wise and godly plan to save man’s soul by destroying his false glittering self, and man’s ability to accept His means of so doing. Indeed the means God uses seem quite unacceptable to man’s self, since the experience of them is so bitter to man. However, his refusal does not hinder God’s work.

Saint Isaac says: ‘He who grudges ordeals multiplies them.’ Now why are they multiplied against him? Because the soul stubbornly refuses to submit to God’s discipline, God uses harsher and harder ways of disciplining him! The renewed severity and hardness employed by God against human stubbornness flows from God’s great longing for man’s salvation. More grudging and complaining only results in the increase of God’s mercy, so even more ordeals arise for the accomplishment of man’s salvation!

However, acceptance of God’s hard and bitter means of salvation means that the new man imprisoned within his being is growing more mature and aware. He is also becoming eager to free himself of the dominating ‘self ’ which is ruining his life. For this we must give thanks and prayer to 6 God. We must also accept the misfortunes, ordeals and pressures which come upon us, together with any diseases sent by God. In this way the soul becomes more submissive and able to find release in the new man. With the help of the Holy Spirit, the soul begins to prevail over the ‘self ’ and to beat it down to the ground. c) Not to put obstacles in God’s way of completing His plan at the right time. There are many ways of opposition used by man, due to human ignorance and blindness, to prevent God’s destroying the ‘self ’, such as evading God’s discipline and trying to escape from ordeals. This could be through lies, bribery or changing one’s job, position or home. It could buy means of divorce, or litigation, yielding to sin or changing one’s creed. It could also be by pretending to be angry or behaving cruelly. All these means man uses to avoid God’s disciplinary measures, so wisely applied and so appropriate. Yet God’s sole intent is to save you soul from self- glorification!

Man may complain and protest and rise up against God’s discipline, but He will then use other people to compel the soul to reveal its ego, so it can be broken down. Because of this precess, man’s ‘self ’ rebels against God. He therefore increases His severity towards man’s errant soul and the time taken to defeat the power of the ‘self ’ is prolonged. d) Not to falsify God’s work, by pretending that the old self is dead when it is not, or to make it appear that it has developed into the mature new man, when it is still like a mere child or even an embryo. This is one of the most serious obstructions we put in the way of God. It makes our liberation from the old man very hard and can even hinder the whole process of salvation. Here we have ‘self ’ pretending to be dead, in order to avoid death! It may also pretend to have indeed become the new spiritual man, falsifying its behaviour so as to block the growth of the new man. It appears to side with the spiritual but only to avoid undergoing the steps necessary for killing the old man.

This is a very serious matter for any man; for at any moment God could forsake him and he would lose forever his potential to achieve control of the self, with its treachery and falsehood. The evil one would encourage him greatly and skilfully in his pretence and deceit. The devil would not only deceive the man himself, but through him others as well: “See to it that no one fail to obtain the grace of God: that no ‘root of bitterness’ spring up and cause trouble, and by it the many become defiled.”(Hebrews 12:15).

7 The characteristics of the deceitful soul are as follows: • It speaks of the love of God, but there is no zeal for God’s love at all. • It preaches the cross and suffering, yet it is not ready to tolerate injustice or humiliation or pain. • It preaches the glory of the resurrection, yet there is no inner action to prove that it has risen above its lust and adultery. • It preaches fervently for the salvation of sinners, but inwardly its heart is as cold as ice, lacking any concern about sinners or sin, or any desire for people’s salvation. • It hints or even claims that it speaks not of itself but by the grace of God inspiring its tongue, but in the light of the Holy Spirit it is patently clear, to that soul and to others, that in fact it loves to preach for show and praise of self alone. Therefore clearly its works are not of grace, but natural skills and gifts that the man or ‘self ’ has used against the grace of God in order to escape death! It has used God’s word against Him, to prevent Him from fulfilling His plan to destroy ‘self ’. Thus it defeats the real work of God in developing the new spiritual man within the self. • It sets itself up as a teacher, but accepts no teaching from God. If any teaching is accepted, it is received only with the mind, and not in order to learn to kill ‘self ’. It seeks to develop intellectual powers, for self pride and arrogance, but thereby avoids the sword of God and His revealing Word. • While living among brothers and sisters as members of Christ’s Body, it has no feelings for fellow members. It does not share their sorrows and has no feelings for their misfortunes. On the contrary, the ‘self ’ endeavours to lord itself over others; it even profits from being in their company to achieve honour and to exercise power over them. Because of its pride and stupidity, the self loses the grace and blessing of fellowship with the saints. • We have said so far that it is hard for God to uncover this ‘self ’ and arrest its deceitful behaviour, by releasing the spirit imprisoned within. Here Christ insists we be wary: “Are grapes gathered from thorns?” (Matthew 7:16). “Unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone.” (John 12:24). “No one tears a piece from a new garment and puts it upon an old garment; if he does, he will tear the new, and the piece from the new will not match the old.” (Luke 5:36).

The Bible warns: “For if anyone thinks himself to be something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself.” (Gal 6:3) “Now if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he is not His” (Rom 8:9) “Does a spring send forth fresh water and bitter from the same opening” (James 3:11)

What increases all this deception is man’s indwelling natural gifts, such as intelligence, powers of deception, mockery, assumed modest, craftiness, self-disguise, sin and pride, false humility through sweet words and a gentle voice. Man is not aware that by using some of these natural gifts 8 he is blocking the path for the new man and is depriving his spirit of the outpouring of truly spiritual gifts. He is impeding Christ’s grace, a grace which serves to glorify God. He promotes himself, instead of practising self mortification, thus clearing the way for Christ to be revealed in him, so he could be built up by the Church and become an honest mouthpiece for the Holy Spirit. He praises his own talents in order to bring glory to himself - and when he dies, his works and achievements die with him and his glory goes down to the dust.

Are you not aware, oh man, that your fleshly gifts perish as soon as the body dies, so there will be no reward or commendation? What will man profit if he gains his own glory and loses the glory of Christ? Let those who believe that natural abilities and competence - whether logical or intellectual powers, or education or intelligence - suffice for the development of the new man remember the words of Jesus: "It is the spirit that gives life, the flesh is of no avail." (Jn 6:63). Many people forget this at first, but in the end it is revealed to man; he has lost all those achievements resulting from his personal striving and all has been in vain!

At the start of this process of disillusionment, a man uses his natural gifts in serving God so as to make it appear he has become a new man — spiritual and worthy of being a teacher! Having progressed in this pretence he goes on to use his Bible ministry and service of God for his own glory, just to parade his genius and spirituality. Those who are close to such people soon discover how entangled they are and are filled with pity for them and the Church.

If only these souls had submitted to God’s action and had yielded to His ways of breaking down their ego and pride, Christ would have been glorified in them a thousand times over! The Church, moreover, would have been greatly blessed through them.

e) Not to be anxious to take on spiritual responsibilities before being sure that one is spiritually mature There are many reasons for hastening to assume the mantle of responsibility, the most serious being the low standard of people in authority and those called to occupy important positions. This makes it easy for anyone to see himself, if not better than his superiors, at least not inferior! Hence the general standard of leadership deteriorates rapidly.

What are the results of a man's haste to acquire responsibility, before the stage of achieving the death of the old man, the discipline of his spirit and the infilling of the Holy Spirit?

The Bible warns against the following dangers for those who assume responsibilities:

9 First, spiritual confusion: Spiritual confusion means that a man has assumed what is beyond his abilities, like someone who puts on clothing which is too big for hm, who carries a sword longer than his own body and a heavier load than he can bear on his neck. It is clear that such a man has tried to save others before achieving his own salvation.

On the spiritual plane, this kind of confusion results directly from undertaking spiritual duties while using one's natural abilities. The spiritual load falls on the human nerves and brain, not on the spirit. The man begins to groan with his very first step and soon seeks the physician and not Christ! This happens when a man is serious and honest in fuelling his mission, but if a person is only acting in pretence, it will seem as though all is well from the fleshly point of view.

Spiritual work has to be born of the spirit, which derives strength and energy directly from the Holy Spirit. This means that the old man who has been pretending and falsifying God’s work has been put to death; the new man has emerged full of the grace and power of the Holy Spirit. By now man is able to bear unlimited spiritual responsibilities and perform the most difficult jobs without spiritual confusion: “I can do all things in Him who strengthens me” (Phil 4:13). “The spiritual man judges all things, but he himself is to be judged by no one” (1 Cor 2:15). Work of a spiritual nature does not harm the spiritual person, nor confuse or hinder him from his own salvation, but it does harm those who are immature because of the influence of the old man.

On this subject St. Paul says: "But I, brethren, could not address, you as spiritual men, but as men of the flesh, as babes in Christ. I fed you with milk not solid food, for you were not ready for it; and even yet, you are not ready, for you are still of the flesh" (1 Cor 3: 1-3). He wrote to the Corinthian Church, calling them men of the flesh and children in Christ "because", he said, "there is jealousy and strife among you" (cf 1Cor 3:3). On another occasion St. Paul confirms that those who have not yet been saved from the old carnal body will surely hinder them: "For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God; it does not submit to God's law, indeed it cannot" (Rom 8:7).

So, any man who is occupied with spiritual things is still bonded to the old 'self'. He performs according to his personal emotions, nerves, mental efficiency, intelligence, evading dangerous situations, and is totally unconscious of the work of the Holy Spirit. This is a great loss to Christ and the Church. There will surely be jealousy and strife and divisions, as St. Paul says. Hence, all that is spiritual will be degraded, and the service will be blamed, and obstacles will increase.

Second, the waste of man’s natural abilities and time: There are other results of this haste to take on spiritual responsibilities before the death of the old man and the infilling of the new man with the Holy Spirit, These are the squandering of man's natural abilities and the waste of his time on words and deeds, as well as other problems. All 10 these are the work of the old man with his false love and fleshly emotions. Thus a man may be consumed by greed and have immoral earnings, indulge in a life of misleading physical comfort, or be led astray by love of family, or by yielding to passion. He may be deceived by unnecessary emotional burdens caused by human joys or griefs. He could be afflicted by destructive anger, enmity, envy, gossip and idle chatter. So this man has no reserve sufficient or adequate for a spiritual ministry.

It is quite clear that the old man must die before one can begin to carry spiritual burdens of any kind. Otherwise it is Christ who loses and the Church who suffers from the ministry of those who carry responsibilities without the Spirit! We bring to the reader’s attention these verses that are a powerful call to the life of the spirit:

“Listen, O daughter, Consider and incline your ear; Forget your own people also, and your father's house” (Psalm 45:10). “Get out of your country, From your family And from your father's house, To a land that I will show you” (Gen 12:1). “But, as he who was born according to the flesh (that is, the old man) then persecuted him who was born according to the Spirit (the new man), even so it is now. Nevertheless what does the Scripture say? “Cast out the bondwoman and her son, for the son of the bondwoman shall not be heir with the son of the freewoman.” So then, brethren, we are not children of the bondwoman but of the free.” (Gal 4:30).

That means that we are not born of the flesh or the will of man, but we are born of God. We are not children of our mother and father, but children of the Church militant, children of the Cross and the Resurrection! f) To put oneself completely under the power of God, which tirelessly manifests itself until one's spirit is liberated "For whoever would save his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for My sake and the Gospel's will save it" (Mk 8:35).

Now how can we lose ourselves and seek our own destruction unless we truly hate ourselves? And how do we hate ourselves according to God's word? We mill certainly discover that there is a most dangerous enemy plotting to destroy our life and deprive us of Jesus and eternal salvation.

How do we discover our real self and be sure it is this dangerous enemy? We can only do so through the Word of the Bible with its revealing power, read in the light of the Holy Spirit. The greatest and most precious spiritual inheritance left to us by Christ is His Word, because this is His Spirit. "It is the spirit that gives life, the flesh is of no avail; the words that I have spoken to you are

11 spirit and life!” (John 6:63).The Spirit of God is in His Word, discerning everything, revealing all things even the depth of the conscience.

The Word of the Bible pierces man by the Holy Spirit, revealing the thoughts of his heart and its desires, his intentions and their depths! It is like a sharp double-edged sword, that strongly penetrates the body through and through, for no flesh or bones can deter its aim. "Therefore, knowing the fear of the Lord we persuade men; but what we are is known to God, and I hope it is known also to your conscience" (2 Cor 5: 1l) .

The most dangerous area that God’s revealing Word reaches is the area between the self and the spirit. Here a man could be confused between the work of the self and that of the Spirit. In this area it is difficult for any man to discover the difference: what is the work of which the ‘self ’ is the source, so that it is merely an outworking of the body and its lusts, and what is the work springing from the spirit, that derives from the guidance and the grace of the Holy Spirit?

At some point the Holy Spirit through the Word may reveal one of the spiritual works that we rely on, or rejoice in and pride ourselves on, thinking it to be a work of grace. Suddenly the Spirit tells our conscience that work doesn't belong to Him, and that it is our own imagination. The Spirit shows us it is man’s pride and ambition that nurtures this idea and nothing is due to grace. Now the work of ‘self ’ this falls into disgrace and is divorced from the work of the spirit. Man’s thoughts and intentions begin to be abundantly revealed.

What has happened here? By means of the written Word of God, the Holy Spirit has been able to penetrate through the envelope of ‘self ’, that is so false and dim. He penetrated to the inner soul and awakens the conscience that has been numbed by the ‘self ’ with all its lies and deception. The Holy Spirit then infuses into the conscience Godly wisdom and insight, so one may discern what is right and what is wrong. At once the spiritual man's eye looks upon the attitude, work and words that the ‘self ’ has claimed to be from God. He can now tell that these actions were false and counterfeit, and that its origin and goals were wrong, filthy and sinful.

What happens next? As the conscience responds to the Holy Spirit, and as man accepts this Godly discovery, so the inner soul in man becomes stronger and grows. At that point the old man withers away. It is like a nutshell deep in the earth, which when water penetrates it through a little hole in the solid layer, begins to get plump and develops. Pressure on the shell breaks it open and the small green leaf pierces through the dark earth to the light. So when the conscience is awakened by the power of the Spirit and the Word that has penetrated it, one's spiritual willpower is strengthened and jealousy is aroused against the old man and his actions, which now appear very ugly. Now man is unable to accept his sin nor imagine how he lived all these past years with his conscience dead, under the power of the ugly self. Now his spirit begins to be set free from the slavery of the body.

12 "If you continue in My word you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free; everyone who commits sin is a slave to sin.” (John 8:31, 32, 34).

More of the Word, more of God’s Light: The more one perseveres in God's Word, the greater God’s light becomes. Greater self- understanding develops in man's conscience so he is able to cast off habits and behaviour that are contrary to, God's truth. The Holy Spirit sincerely increases with every word and action.

By continuing to exist in the light and truth of God, the old self withers and dries up and crumbles away. Bit by bit it loses its power, giving place to the spirit, which begins to respond more easily to the call of grace. The action of the spirit begins with the action of grace, while the carnal lusts of the flesh are suppressed and defeated. "If by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body you will live." (Rom. 8:13).

The Word of God is Alive and Active; Clinging to the Word as weapon and light: Man should not worry about being saved from the old self, as long as he is truly honest to the Word, which is alive and active. All that is required of man is to accept the Word as a weapon to which he opens his heart and will. He gives the Word power and authority over every thought and deed, so that its action may completely control his heart, conscience, thought and wilL This will happen through the constant pricking of the conscience.

When the Bible mentions that the Word of God is alive, we feel comforted. As soon as we open the door for the Word and allow it to live in our heart, it will not cease working! When scripture says that it is active, we are assured that it does not cease working till the will of Him who sent it is fulfilled. "So shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth; it shall not return to Me void, but it shall accomplish what I please, and it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it” (Is 55:11).

Just make sure that you are very true and sincere to the Word, opening your heart joyful and letting it live within you in all honesty and truthfulness.The old man will never continue its activities in the precedence of grace and of the heavenly light focusing on the conscience by means of the Word. Its action will certainly decrease until it ceases altogether, as long as the Word has authority in the heart.

So, the weapons with which we fight are our holding firmly to the Word, our submission to its call and its will, and our encouragement of the Word in our lives. It is also the light the we follow after, until we finally leave the old man for the light of Christ and the freedom of the Holy Spirit. Then we will indeed be children of light and truth.

13 True Signs Showing the death of the Old Man: It is quite impossible to enjoy the true light and active grace of the glory of God in the presence of the old man. Any action performed by the old man would transform God's enlightenment into self-promotion by devious ways. He would transform the work of grace into personal glorification and contaminate his spiritual life and service, so he would quit this world empty-handed: "If we say we have fellowship with Him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not live according to the truth" (1 John 1:6). "For whatever is born of God overcomes the world" (1 John 5:4).

The death of the old man gives the Holy Spirit the opportunity to produce in us the witness of the power of God. This testifies in our conscience and the conscience of others that we are children of God in truth. It is not through appearance or words, but by our behaviour and attitude: "And by this we know that He abides in us, by the Spirit which He has given us" (1 John 3:24).

As long as the inner light is active, then darkness with all its deeds is hateful to us, continually condemned and cast out by us. Conscience is an active guard for God's truth and refuses to be neglected in any way or at any price. “But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible, for anything that becomes visible (by confession) is light” (Eph 5:13). “If our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God” (1 John 3:21).

Once the old man has died, the spirit increases in its sensitivity against any vain glory, which are not just words or deeds but are considered by the Spirit to be sacrilegious and a form of blasphemy.

“How can you believe, who receive glory from one another and do not seek the glory that comes from the only God?" (John 5:44).

Test yourself; do you feel comfortable when praised or given glory? Do you get upset when neglected or when your pride has been hurt? Then, you have not yet died to self.

When the old body is quite dead, then worship has become truly Godly, free of false appearances and partiality, displayed and assumed humility, which are all awful. "God is spirit, and those who worship him must worship in spirit and truth" (John 4:24).

This means the following: God does not meet man except in man's spirit! This encounter will be sound — all worship just of the mind or emotions will cease and vanish away, but worship offered up from the inner spiritual being will never vanish. Now a man's worship will no longer depend on what he has studied with the intellect nor by his emotional state, but by his spiritual condition: "It is no longer I who live but Christ who lives in me" (Gal 2:20}. The truth of this pure 14 worship is tested and discerned by many. Again, test yourself. Does your worship and prayer become more fervent when you are praised? Is your jealousy aroused before other and your superiors? Then you have not yet died.

Once the old man has died, one lives constantly in Christ, and this life increases rather than decreases. The sign of this is unceasing prayer from the depths of your heart. You will also have a continuous desire to kneel down because you feel the presence of God, not because you want anything in particular, and you will experience an inward unshakable peace.

The death of the old man means a close and constant contact with the word of the Bible. There is endless enlightenment in reading this. Each and every enlightenment straightaway revels some weakness that was covered up and so man in his shame submits to the truth. He turns away from any wandering path, without argument, apology or neglect. This is the practice of humility under the hand of God — and the only way to spiritual fulfilment. Test yourself once more: Does the word of the Bible make you increasingly realise your sin? Does it reveal the crookedness of your life overtime you read it?

When the old man has died, the will is readily put into God's hand. A man will also be concerned for his soul, and become very careful not to be diverted from the accompanying grace of God. He will experience this richly at the beginning, as he is separated from the power of the old flesh. This grace will remain with him all his life, kindling him to pray and practise holy silence.

When the old man dies, feelings toward the outer world die too. That is why one's many and various tasks can no longer separate one from the presence of God. He has the constant desire to worship and adore on his knees, as the inner spirit enters into relationship with God and enjoyment of His love.

With the death of the old man, the thoughts, will-power and emotions are not possessed by the self any more, so these are not controlled by whims and fancies, going up and down according to circumstances. They are now controlled by the Holy Spirit for the sake of Man's salvation and for that of others as well. So the inner spirit is thus separated from the confusion of the world, and a man can persist in prayer. It is as if a man is on top of the world, with all his emotions and will power dedicated to God.

With the death of the old man, Christ enjoys full freedom in us. He has an open way into our lives, revealing Himself the way He wants to. He is with us when we sleep, in our deepest thoughts, in our conscience, in our body, in our words, and in the silence of our hearts. He moves in us and speaks with our mouth. He lights up our heart and we are able do see what no one else sees, so that man becomes an open treasure for the sake of the Church.

15 With the death of the old man, man becomes clear to others, open to everyone, and belongs to everyone; he becomes a friend to all, and is loved by all to whom he speaks. This is because Jesus is alive in him in all patience, love and modesty. Man becomes a source of joy and benefit to others, not for their entertainment or for honeyed words, or for cheap forms of comfort, but for their discipline and edification. This is all for the sake of helping bring about the death of the old man in others.

Final Pieces of Advice: Man must ponder well to ensure that at every moment he is first living in God and second, he is guided by God's Spirit.

Whether a man is living in God will be perceived by studying the inner thoughts and actions, which are the central concern of his heart. This usually happens when you are in your closet. Is your heart directed towards God?

To be sure that he is guided by God's Spirit does not mean merely success in his job or money, his ministry or speaking, or whether people accept, honour and love him. No, it means in his inner comfort and consolation, in his tears when praying in a secret place, in his sincere prayers, in his quick repentance and his apologising for faults, in his quick yielding in any worldly matter that could be an obstacle to others. He should also love to be silent and secluded in order to meditate in his spirit. All this proves that God's hand is with a man to complete his salvation and that he is guided by God's Spirit.

You can never be released from the old man until you reach the point of complete despair over leading a double life - combining darkness with light, loving yourself while loving God, praising yourself and praising God, lying while praying, practising evil and worshipping, indulging in greed and ambition as well as assuming righteousness, loving the world and God, gossiping about others while loving them, desire for leadership and for being a hermit or a monk!

Instead of being disciplined by God and going through pain, we should be quick to submit ourselves to discipline under the hand of the Holy Spirit. Let us confess our inner pain before Him without any deceit or crookedness. Let us accept the discipline of grace that breaks our ego and humiliates our pride and purifies our heart with the fire of His discipline. We know that beyond God’s discipline there is testing to assure man’s salvation, with all man’s debts paid, and one prepared to be filled with the Spirit and to be a true witness.

A wise and obedient son reveals his weakness and sickness to his father and to his physician, in order to receive healing from them, and each will do this in his own way. A successful student does not conceal his ignorance nor present to be knowledgable, otherwise he will be behaving like a pupil who plays truant. A son has faith in his father, and will not question the form of discipline he 16 receives; nor does a student ask his teacher about the curriculum to be studied. The Holy Spirit will work His own will in you in different ways than you work with yourself.

You may conceal yourself with what is apparently holy - spiritual words and deceitful deeds and a soft humble tone of voice, but the Spirit will reveal and uncover your weaknesses, displaying them to your own eyes, and if necessary to the eyes of others also. By pretending to be pious, you have been self-serving. The Spirit makes your deceitful piety a scandal for the sake of your own salvation. You raised up the old man to believe in lies, crookedness, filth and pride, but the Holy Spirit does not raise and nurture your spirit until He has laid constraints on the actions of the old man.

If you tire of dealing with the Holy Spirit and reject Him, He will leave you without His grace. Then you will more than ever before return to your life of egoism, lust, sin and deception — and you will find yourself badly entangled by these. Thus no prayers, tears or fasting will be of any avail. All means of grace will be fruitless, unless you confess and admit your obstinacy and sin, being utterly submissive under God's hand till you return to the dust. You have the choice: either you allow the Holy Spirit to prevail and yourself to die, so you can be led by the Holy Spirit to the light, or you let yourself prevail so that the Spirit is trapped and you walk the path of darkness into even deeper darkness.

"Walk while you have the light, lest the darkness overtake you (that is, where light constantly reveals and exposes self)" ( John 12:35) . "But when anything is exposed by the light it becomes visible, for anything that becomes visible is light" (Eph 5:13). "Why do you not understand what I says (this means, the dealings of the Holy Spirit). It is because you cannot bear to hear My word. He who is of God hears the Words of God" (John 8:43, 47). "Anyone who does not have the Spirit of Christ does not belong to Him" (Rom 8:9)

Clinging to the old man, with all the deeds done under cover of darkness, cannot remain hidden. It will be made clear in your attitude, whether you wish it or not. Hence you will be feeding your spirit on dishonest fare, unacceptable to God's children. Others will discover it after a while, and because of you they will be caused to stumble and die. You will then feel God's wrath inflicted on you: "Woe to the man by whom the temptation comes" (Mt 18:7). Do not be half spiritual or half alive or half warm, or God will spit you out. Do not mix God's cup with the devil's cup. God's cup is life according to the Spirit, and the devil's cup is life according to the flesh.

If you wish to be totally rid of your old self, surrender once and for all to the Holy Spirit, so as to live in the light and shun and cast away the deeds of darkness. As with a sharp knife cut out the habits of the old man, with all its passions, moods and obsessions. Do not have any mercy on 17 whoever seeks to destroy your spirit and imprison you forever in the darkness of death. Do not take pity on the old man because he will not have any pity on you.

If the old man overcomes you, use the following method. Some wicked people entered the Church of the Resurrection at the time of St Pachomius, seized it and started their own unrighteous worship and adulterous practices. The priest asked for St. Pachomius’ help. So he sent him some of those pilgrim spirits who have the power to enter closed places without being visible. They went up to the altar with the Holy Oblation and at once began the liturgy. Thereupon, the wicked invaders were shocked and fled in great fear, abandoning the church to its priest.

Therefore, if the devil begins to control your old body, making it an altar for his filthiness and sin and imprisoning the spirit within you, you must resort to that deeply fervent prayer which is like those invisible saintly spirits. Prayer will enter your spirit and refresh it, and your spirit will start offering up that pure inner oblation. That will be your offering of prayer, tears, repentance, and supplication to God. Through this the spirit is strengthened and refreshed, so it can bring pressure on the old body. The spirit will overcome the body's activity, capture its lusts and imprison it. Continue in constant prayer, day and night, persevering in it, until the Church of Christ’s Resurrection is released into your life. "For we are the true circumcision, who worship God in spirit, and glory in Christ Jesus, and put not confidence in the flesh" (Phil 3:3). "But if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body you will live" (Rom 8:13). "Every athlete exercises self control in all things" (1Cor 9:25). "But I beat my body and subdue it" (1Cor 9:27).

When the light shines in your heart and your old self is revealed to you as vulgar and ugly, it will become unbearable to you. You will find the old self to be uglier than you ever imagined thousands of times more!

The day will come when you will be assured that all of God's hard dealings with you, and the Holy Spirit's discipline (whether it by neglect, or forgetfulness, or deliberate failure, or one fall after another, and when you and your body and its lusts are degraded before your very eyes) you will indeed see that everything was truly a mercy to you. God's plan was to wake you from that deep sleep which leads to eternal damnation. This shows God’s true and absolute love, His sincere and fatherly mercy. By these means you were drawn to salvation, and it was a daily witness against you that you were not living according to his heart! He wished to convince you by actual events that you were still unacceptable to Him! You are careless and forgetful of your prayers, unlike God, who will never be careless in His discipline until you return to Him!

"For the Lord disciplines him whom He loves and chastises every son whom he receives" (Heb 12:6). Therefore do not reject God' s discipline. "Can a woman forget her nursing child and not have compassion on the son of her womb? Surely they may forget, yet I will not forget you" (Is 49:15). Daily we receive His discipline, until we reach the spiritual standard of God. He 18 says: "I will never fail you nor forsake you" (Heb 13:5). My eyes are on you, till you become a good and perfect son.

"He has sent Me to proclaim release to the heathen," he said (Lk 4:18) — the heathen being those who have imprisoned the old self in a barricade of sinful habits, passions and vain interests. 'This he said to show by what death He was to glorify God. And after this He said to him, Follow Me" (John 21:19).

The self comes between the body and the soul, said St Isaac. It is either united with the body and takes its part against the spirit, or united with the spirit and works with it against the body. So the soul can be either physical or spiritual. The Bible says in Galatians 5:17 - "For the desires of the flesh are against the Splat, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh: for these are opposed to one other to prevent you from doing what you would!"

God requires us to make the self lean towards the spirit, so that it may have eternal life. If it leans towards the body, which means losing eternal life, it will indeed find damnation.

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