Overcoming Bullying Through Assertive Training Technique As

Overcoming Bullyingthrough Assertive Training Technique As Group Counseling Services

Sucipto Guidance and Counseling Study Program Muria University, Kudus [email protected]

ABSTRACT

Bullying is the negative behavior that lately became a serious problem that must be resolved in both the school and the neighborhood. Riauksina et al as cited by Wiyani (2012) define bullying is aggressive behavior that is done repeatedly by a student or a group of students who have the power to other students who are weaker, with the goal of hurting the victims. Students who are victims of bullying will spend a lot of time to think about the various ways to avoid disruptions in school, so that they just have a little energy to learn. Bullier will also have difficulty in social relationships and if the behavior occurs until they are adult, absolutely it can make a wider impact. Many phenomena of bullying that occur with the students lately, it happened because of a lack of courage to refuse misbehavior, ridicule, humiliation, and other negative behavior to express what they feel and what they think about. The courage to clarify themselves in order to refuse of the bullies misbehavior will make the bullies afraid and do not bully nor not doing aggressive behavior again. Group counseling through assertive training techniques is the way out that can be used to resolve bullying problem. Assertive training is a technique that can be used to train students in order to be able to explicitly clarify feelings, attitudes and beliefs that they considered true. The characteristics of the assertive training technique are free to express thoughts and opinions either through words or actions; it can communicate directly and openly. Students are able to start, to continue, and to end a conversation, refuse and express disagreement with the others, students are able to submit a request pleasantly or unpleasant. Moreover, students will have positive attitudes and outlook on life and can accept their limitations. This technique was applied by utilizing group dynamics within group counseling services. The goal of the application of the assertive training techniques in a group counseling service is to enable students to behave assertively with boldly expressing their discomfort for the misbehavior of the bullies and also to prevent further incidents of bullying among students and certainly reduce the probability that the bullies to bully the other students.

Keywords: Bullying, group counseling, assertive training.

189 Background of the Problem

School is an educational institution with the task to educate the nation. School is supposed to be a safe, comfortable and dignified for the students so they can grow and develop optimally. With the existence of the task, schools are also required to create a constructive learning atmosphere, safe, and comfortable in the learning process in order to be able to shape the character of the students.

But in reality the facts at this time indicate that not all schools are able to create conditions as conducive environment for the implementation process of good education. It can be seen from the various problems that occur in the school environment lately. One of the problems is rampant, there are cases of violence or aggressiveness in school (bullying) is done by the students at school. Bullying is not only done physically but also psychologically.

Involving aggressive behavior among students and students could be called misbehavior because it causes unrest, violating legal norms and customs, as well as the disruption of the security of the community. Bullying is the verbal misbehavior or physical misbehavior that is meant to disturb others who are weaker. Bullying is a form of school violence committed by students to someone who is weaker for the benefit or satisfaction of the doer.

Bullying happens in schools, including the acts of violence that harm others. Violence called for actions carried out aiming to harm another person or it could be with a specific purpose, for example, wanting power in schools, showrooms, and sometimes bullying is done only to obtain designation as a bully at school. Bullying is a nightmare for every student. All schools all over the world have almost the same form of bullying. Bullying is not much different from falling in love, often occurs without any logical reason. Today, a student could be bullied because he has merit, attractive, or even trivial. Sometimes, there are some bullies or what we refer to as bullies, doing the bullying to his friend only intended for fun or teasing.

Many argue that the cases of bullying like an iceberg that is at the center of the ocean that is only visible at the peak of the sea surface, whereas in the ocean the iceberg is very big. So to say that these bullying cases seem trivial, but essentially bullying is a problem that must be resolved. According to Sugijokanto (2014) bullying or harassment can be carried out through words or actions aimed at making his opponent suffering from mental distress. Another aim is to control one's fellow with words of insulting, high-pitched and threats or acts of violence. Divine (2014) states that bullying became a part of the

190 aggression that reflects the overwhelming anger and rough assault of a person who fails.

Whereas another opinion expressed by Asikin (2009) that bullying is a form of child abuse

conducted by peer to another child whose position is lower or weaker to gain an advantage

or a specific decision.

So it can be concluded that bullying is a negative behavior, which can be either

violence or aggression reflecting anger overflowing person does freely with actions such as

pushing even hitting, and also can do the bullying with words in a way that is intended as

insulting, sneering, jeering and also insinuating that aims to suppress the victim in order to suffer from mental down. Campusmagz (2013) declares that;

Victims of bullying in general are a newcomer or someone who has a striking difference with the environment or with bullies themselves. Not only people who tend to be passive and have physical limitations, they are popular because they have a high social status, achievement riveting, or physical shape that envy can also be victims of bullying. In fact, sometimes the victims of bullying are people close to the actors. The condition of the victims will get worse if they do not dare to fight or lose when fighting.

From observations and interviews during homeroom, teachers and students at several schools in Kudus, obtained information that often receives reports about violence or

harassment (bullying). Students are teasing other students, scornful, humiliating and

degrading other students, give a call as inappropriate (sarcasm) to other students, displaying facial expressions of cynical and condescending, spreading rumors, ignoring the other

person, showing body gesture movements insulting others, silence and exclude another student, damaging belongings of others, hitting, pushing, kicking, berate their friends on

social networks, hide belongings of other students, making fun of other students while teaching-learning process takes place, intimidate other students. Also obtained information that victims of bullying have low self-esteem, too quiet, very shy, awkward, difficult to

express something and social relationships with peers in class is not very good. This happens

every day without any serious action carried out from the school authority. In fact, not

infrequently, there is physical contact between students of the class. Then the victims

become quiet, withdrawn, anxious, trauma, heartache, physical pain, even hurt, but they

remained silent.

Many things students can do behind the bullying behavior, Campusmagz (2013)

declares that;

191 Bullies have an underlying problem either with the family or by themselves, especially in terms of communication and psychological background. In essence, they have personal problems. Do not expect the bullies have a sense of regret or guilt over their behavior. They do not have the emotional maturity, irritable, and often catch other people's communication with a wrong perception.

Given these facts, it can be said that students do not know about bullying, which they have done to friends at school. Therefore students need a deep understanding of bullying, how their characteristics, what impact resulting from the bullying behavior, what should be done when they bully, and others. With enough knowledge about bullying, the students are expected to be able to change negative behaviors so that students who are victims of bullying do not have to undergo the pressure again in the learning process and the process of socialization at school.

Group counseling, deemed appropriate in addressing bullying because in accordance with the purpose of counseling groups described by Prayitno (2012) states that the group counseling aims at developing students' social skills, especially communication skills of

participants and group counseling services focused on the discussion of personal problems of individual participants in problem-solving efforts. With counseling group of students were given the opportunity to discuss the problems experienced by students as well as members of other groups to be able to participate in the group. With the problems faced by the student, the counselor as leader of the group will work closely with members of the group to alleviate the problems experienced by victims and perpetrators of bullying in schools.

Group counseling services with assertivetraining techniques supports in dealing

bullying seems right therefore in accordance with the purpose of training their own

assertive techniques. Lazarus (1971, in Nursalim, 2005) argues that the purpose of assertive training is to correct improper behavior by changing responses and eliminate any emotional thinking. Suranata (2010) states assertive training techniques used to train clients who find

difficulties in expressing themselves that their actions or true worth.

The opinion was reinforced by Alberti and Emmons (in Purnamasari, 2012) who state that assertive behavior is behavior that makes a person unable to act for the good of

himself, defends his rights without anxiety, expresses feelings comfortably, and runs without violating other people's rights. By being able to act decisively for the good of himself and to behave assertively, victims of bullying will be strong personally and are not easily be bullied by the bullies. 192 Based on the description of the problem of bullying in the school, then it was

formulated as an analytic thinking (conceptual ideas) as an effort to tackle bullying in

schools, through group counseling services with assertive training techniques. By using

group counseling services with assertive training techniques in the process of providing the

services students can practice behaving assertively so that they boldly are able to state what

he feels and what he was to think about.

Through behaving assertively students can also interact well with the members of

the group and can unify opinions through thinking of various backgrounds that underlie

both the knowledge, experience and thinking skills that bring a sense of empathy between

individuals and bring up new ideas. The new ideas that will provide solutions that are

positive and the solutions applied in the form of exercise firmness (assertive training) to

students.

Forms of Bullying Behavior

Bullying is a negative behavior that has a variety of categories.Riauskina, et al (in

Wiyani, 2012) classifies bullying into five categories as follows: (1) direct physical contact

(hitting, pushing, biting), (2) direct verbal contact (threatening, humiliating, degrading), (3)

direct non-verbal misbehavior (see the cynical, stuck out his tongue, showing facial

expressions derogatory, mocking, threatening usually accompanied by physical or verbal

bullying), (4) indirect non-verbal misbehavior (silence someone, manipulating friendships

until cracks, deliberately exclude or ignore, sent anonymous letters), and (5) sexual

harassment (sometimes categorized as physical or verbal aggressive behavior).

Campusmagz (2013) explains that there are five types of bullying that often occur in

schools, namely; (1) Verbal: berate, insult, sarcastic, profanity, quietly put negative posts on

the victim's back, and spreading verbally gossip as a form of bullying, (2) Emotional; being

too hate victims, deliberately made victims of bullies sometimes intimidated in the social

environment. Influence others to bully victim unintentionally, (3) Physic: hitting, pushing,

kicking, sexual harassment, bumping, pulling the collar, choke the casualties, (4) Cyber;

cyber attack carried out by attacking the victim in social networks and posting videos, * photos that degrades the victim through the internet. (5) Material: This type of bullying is

quite popular in school. Usually the bullies steal, conceal, or damage the belongings of the

victims, motorcycle tire deflates. More simplified again by Olweus (in Wiyani, 2012), who

193 identifies two forms of bullying, namely; (1) The behavior directly (Direct Bullying), for example, physical assault, (2) Behavior indirectly (Indirect Bullying), such as social exclusion.

From the above opinion, it can be concluded that the forms of bullying include direct

physical contact such as pushing, hitting, crashing, even sexual abuse, forms of verbal

bullying such berate, ridicule, berate, non-verbal forms of bullying such as seeing the victim with a cynical gaze and gaze degrading the victim. The fourth form of bullying is cyber attack which is a form of bullying which made the virtual world by uploading photos, videos.

Another form of bullying often happens in school; usually the bullies are stealing, hiding victim goods. Things like this should not be continued because it affects the victim's life in the future.

The Characteristics of the Bullies

The characteristics of the bullies stated by Sugijokanto (2014) as follows, the

individuals are desperate, their emotions are uncontrollable, and they are impulsive or

dominant and showing violence in various ways. Campusmagz (2013) characterizes the

bullies as follows: 1) Have psychological and communication problems with the family. 2)

Have problems with themselves. 3) Do not have the emotional maturity. 4) are easy to get

angry. 5) Often misunderstand other people's communication with a wrong perception.

Meanwhile, according to Rudi (2010) that the characteristics of the bullies are namely. 1)

Trying to control others. 2) Only concerned with their desires. 3) Difficult to see things from

the viewpoint of others and less empathize for the feelings of others. 4) The pattern of their

behavior is impulsive, aggressive, intimidating and abusive. 5) The motivation for someone to do the bullying can be based on hatred, envy and resentment. It could be to hide the

shame and anxiety, or to encourage self-confidence without regard to others feelings.

Based on these descriptions, the author concludes that the characteristics of bullies

are individuals who do not have the emotional maturity, like to dominate others, have

communication problems with others, aggressive, irritable, do not have a sense of empathy

for others, and it's hard to see something from the viewpoint of others. In this case, if the

bullying is still regarded as reasonable behavior, then later bullies will bring their negative

behavior into adulthood. And when it happens, their bullying behaviors tend to develop into

criminal acts which will bring big problems that will be detrimental to all parties.

194 Victims of Bullying

Symptoms that appear on the victims of bullying are easily understood, as expressed by Sugijokanto (2014), who reveals that the signs of change in the attitude of children who experience bullying are: 1) the wounds, bruising, swelling, scratches on the body. 2) Fear to go to school. 3) Shy and withdrawn from friends. 4) Loner. 5) Emotionally unstable. 6) A face that seemed depressed when returning home from school. 7) Crying for no reason. 8)

Turned into a silent and aggressive. 9) Complains of frequent headaches and stomach aches.

10) No appetite. 11) Often delirious in the night. 12) Difficulty to sleep soundly. 13) The desire to end his life.

From the above statements can be concluded that the symptoms experienced by the victims are easy enough to be known, due to the changes experienced before and after the bully was very striking. Like the wounds, bruises, scratches, do not want to go to school, often feel dizziness, difficulty in sleeping soundly, turn away from friends who previously close to him, even had thoughts of ending his life after the bullying occurred. So if we see that bullying happens around us, we have to help the victims as soon as possible in order to avoid the unwanted consequences. We should motivate the victims to open and tell what happened to them.

Impact of Bullying

Bullying can certainly have a considerable impact for the perpetrators and the victims. One of the figures that, Elliot (in Mudjijanti, 2011) say that bullying has a negative impact on the development of student's character for both the victim and the perpetrator.

As a result of bullying on the victims' distress arises because the actors dominate the victims. The victims suffered physical and psychological pain, their confidence slumped, feel shame, trauma, unable to strike back, feeling alone or feel nothing helped, awry and school fear, alienation, suffering from social fears, suicidal.

If left unchecked, bullies will learn that there will be not any risk for them when they commit violence, aggression, or threaten another child. As an adult, the offenders will have greater potential to become criminals and will be problematic in their social functioning.

Wiyani (2012) reveals that the impact experienced by victims of bullying are experiencing a variety of disorders which include lower psychological well-being in which the victim will feel discomfort, fear, low self-esteem, and worthlessness, poor social

195 adjustment in which the victim are afraid to school, withdraw from the association, their academic achievement decreased because of having difficulty on concentrating, and even willing to commit suicide rather than face the pressures of the form humiliation and punishment. Bullying must be overcome even stopped, because it would have a fatal impact on victims who experience it.

From the description, the authors can conclude that bullying has a negative impact for bullies, victims and the spectator. From the side of the bullies when no party reprimand bad deeds will shape the character on the bullies who continue to do repression and even conduct violence which can later develop into a crime that would be detriment for himself.

From the side of the victim, bullying may cause the victim to suffer because of emotional and behavioral problems. Bullying can cause feelings of insecurity, isolation, feelings of low self-esteem, depression or suffer from stress that can end in suicide. The victims will be very depressed, tormented, even traumatized because too often be bullied either verbally or physically.

From the side of the spectators, or persons who witness the bullying happens, they will feel sad, frightened, and steps taken by the spectator are just keep silent, and let the bullying that happens because they fear that if they act, they will be the target of bullying by the actors, who will be excited when they find out that there are responded their behavior.

Group Counseling

Group counseling is one of guidance and counseling services which are quite popular lately. Asmani (2010) states the group counseling gives learners (clients) an opportunity for discussion to alleviate the problems experienced through group dynamics. The dynamics of the group is developing a lively atmosphere and characterized by the interaction between group members in expressing suggestions and even responses in the implementation of the group counseling. And also, with the development of group dynamics in a group counseling would be very helpful in solving the problem discussed in the group.

Meanwhile, Natawidjaja (in Rusmana, 2009) defines that group counseling is an effort to aid individuals (the persons) that are conducted in a group, in order to prevent and to cure, and aims to provide convenience in many aspects of students' development and growth.

196 In contrast to group guidance counseling, group counseling does not address a topic,

but problems faced by each member. This statement is in accordance with Sukiman (2011)

who stated that the issues discussed in group counseling were the personal problems

experienced by each member of the group. It can be concluded that group counseling is a

service that addresses and solves problems faced by members of the group that aims to

provide assistance to the persons' using group dynamics involving all members.

Assertive Training

Assertive training is intended for people who are unable to express selfhood.

According to Asmani (2010) assertive training is a technique used to train clients who find it

difficult to express him that his actions are feasible or true. The means used is to play the

role of the guidance counselor. Assertiveness training is primarily therapeutic strategies in

behavioral approach used to develop assertive behavior on the clients. Bruno (1983, in

Nursalim 2005), stated that the assertive training is fundamentally a learning program

designed to develop human competence in relation to others.

Wolpe (in Purnamasari, 2005) argues that assertive training is conditioned on

maladaptive habits, which responds to the behavior of others with anxiety. The conditioned

done in two ways, namely; debilitating fear of clients and changing the way of talk and in

action. It can be concluded that assertive training is a program designed to recondition the

maladaptive habits by learning to respond to the behavior of others with anxiety and unable

to get out of the difficulty experienced by the persons so that they can state and assert

themselves with decent action and real. Related research is addressing bullying with

assertive training is used as a tool to change the bullies in order to reduce the misbehavior

by the rejection of the victim who started confidently with them by not only silent when the

bullying occurred but are able to fight and reinforce by rejecting what are done by bullies.

Assertive training aim to change non-assertive behavior. Lazarus (1971, in Nursalim,

2005) argues that the purpose of the assertive training is to correct inappropriate behavior

by changing emotional responses and eliminate any emotional thinking. Thus the purpose of

assertive training is that individuals learn how to response that does not comply with the * new appropriate responses, communicate what they want, feel, and think to others

honestly and openly with respect for their own personal rights and others.

197 Assertive training procedures in the opinion of some experts, namely Tosi, 1974;

Wolpe, 1958; Lazarus, 1971; Eisler, 1973, in Nursalim, 2005) are carried out with such steps, namely: 1) Confirms the special conditions in which the assertive behavior occurs. 2).

Identify the target behavior and goals. 3) Establish proper and improper behavior. 4) Assist the client to distinguish appropriate and inappropriate behavior. 5) Exploring ideas,

attitudes and irrational concept. 6). Demonstrating an appropriate response. 7) Implement training (behavior rehearsal). 8) Practicing assertive behavior. 9) Give homework (homework

assignment). 10). Provide amplifier.

Overcoming Bullying throughAssertive Training Technique

Bullying become serious problems that must be alleviated. Riauksina et al (in Wiyani,

2012) define school bullying as aggressive behaviors that are done repeatedly by a student

or a group of students who have the power to other students who are weaker, with the aim

of hurting the victims. Students who are victims of bullying will spend a lot of time thinking

about various ways to avoid disruptions in school so that they have little energy to learn.

Bullies will also have difficulty in social relationships and when this behavior occurs until

they are adults certainly will cause a wider impact.

Many phenomena that occur on students' bullying lately happen because of lack of

courage amongst students to resist mistreatment, ridicule, humiliation, and other negative

treatments boldly express what they feel and what they think about. With the courage to

learn to reinforce them with denial of treatment bullies will make the bullies back off and

later on do not commit the bully or aggressive misbehavior.

Assertive training techniques through group counseling are intended to overcome

this problem. Assertive training technique that can be used to train students to be able to

explicitly declare themselves associated feelings, attitudes and beliefs that are considered

true. This technique is applied by utilizing group dynamics in group counseling services.

Application of these assertive training techniques in group counseling service aims to make

students able to behave assertively, boldly expressing his discomfort at the misbehavior of

the bullies and also to prevent further cases of bullying on students and certainly become a

lesson for the bullies in order not to commit bullying against his friends who are introverted

personality. Counselors provide the group counseling services in the form of groups to

discuss, solve, and alleviate the problem of bullying in school by using assertive training

198 technique so that students are expected to tackle bullying in schools after they receive o assertiveness training.

Group counseling services with assertive training techniques is guidance and counseling services that take advantage of group dynamics which are attempted to solve

problems by using the assertive training techniques. Several steps implemented by the counselors to help solve and alleviate the students' problems in overcoming bullying at school. Then, students are supposed to take action After following the counseling services in terms of commitments that have been made and agreed upon to actually perform the positive assertive behavior outside the group. Hopefully students are able to assert their rights and show their desire to fight bullying behavior.

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