Overcoming Bullyingthrough Assertive Training Technique As Group Counseling Services Sucipto Guidance and Counseling Study Program Muria University, Kudus [email protected] ABSTRACT Bullying is the negative behavior that lately became a serious problem that must be resolved in both the school and the neighborhood. Riauksina et al as cited by Wiyani (2012) define bullying is aggressive behavior that is done repeatedly by a student or a group of students who have the power to other students who are weaker, with the goal of hurting the victims. Students who are victims of bullying will spend a lot of time to think about the various ways to avoid disruptions in school, so that they just have a little energy to learn. Bullier will also have difficulty in social relationships and if the behavior occurs until they are adult, absolutely it can make a wider impact. Many phenomena of bullying that occur with the students lately, it happened because of a lack of courage to refuse misbehavior, ridicule, humiliation, and other negative behavior to express what they feel and what they think about. The courage to clarify themselves in order to refuse of the bullies misbehavior will make the bullies afraid and do not bully nor not doing aggressive behavior again. Group counseling through assertive training techniques is the way out that can be used to resolve bullying problem. Assertive training is a technique that can be used to train students in order to be able to explicitly clarify feelings, attitudes and beliefs that they considered true. The characteristics of the assertive training technique are free to express thoughts and opinions either through words or actions; it can communicate directly and openly. Students are able to start, to continue, and to end a conversation, refuse and express disagreement with the others, students are able to submit a request pleasantly or unpleasant. Moreover, students will have positive attitudes and outlook on life and can accept their limitations. This technique was applied by utilizing group dynamics within group counseling services. The goal of the application of the assertive training techniques in a group counseling service is to enable students to behave assertively with boldly expressing their discomfort for the misbehavior of the bullies and also to prevent further incidents of bullying among students and certainly reduce the probability that the bullies to bully the other students. Keywords: Bullying, group counseling, assertive training. 189 Background of the Problem School is an educational institution with the task to educate the nation. School is supposed to be a safe, comfortable and dignified for the students so they can grow and develop optimally. With the existence of the task, schools are also required to create a constructive learning atmosphere, safe, and comfortable in the learning process in order to be able to shape the character of the students. But in reality the facts at this time indicate that not all schools are able to create conditions as conducive environment for the implementation process of good education. It can be seen from the various problems that occur in the school environment lately. One of the problems is rampant, there are cases of violence or aggressiveness in school (bullying) is done by the students at school. Bullying is not only done physically but also psychologically. Involving aggressive behavior among students and students could be called misbehavior because it causes unrest, violating legal norms and customs, as well as the disruption of the security of the community. Bullying is the verbal misbehavior or physical misbehavior that is meant to disturb others who are weaker. Bullying is a form of school violence committed by students to someone who is weaker for the benefit or satisfaction of the doer. Bullying happens in schools, including the acts of violence that harm others. Violence called for actions carried out aiming to harm another person or it could be with a specific purpose, for example, wanting power in schools, showrooms, and sometimes bullying is done only to obtain designation as a bully at school. Bullying is a nightmare for every student. All schools all over the world have almost the same form of bullying. Bullying is not much different from falling in love, often occurs without any logical reason. Today, a student could be bullied because he has merit, attractive, or even trivial. Sometimes, there are some bullies or what we refer to as bullies, doing the bullying to his friend only intended for fun or teasing. Many argue that the cases of bullying like an iceberg that is at the center of the ocean that is only visible at the peak of the sea surface, whereas in the ocean the iceberg is very big. So to say that these bullying cases seem trivial, but essentially bullying is a problem that must be resolved. According to Sugijokanto (2014) bullying or harassment can be carried out through words or actions aimed at making his opponent suffering from mental distress. Another aim is to control one's fellow with words of insulting, high-pitched and threats or acts of violence. Divine (2014) states that bullying became a part of the 190 aggression that reflects the overwhelming anger and rough assault of a person who fails. Whereas another opinion expressed by Asikin (2009) that bullying is a form of child abuse conducted by peer to another child whose position is lower or weaker to gain an advantage or a specific decision. So it can be concluded that bullying is a negative behavior, which can be either violence or aggression reflecting anger overflowing person does freely with actions such as pushing even hitting, and also can do the bullying with words in a way that is intended as insulting, sneering, jeering and also insinuating that aims to suppress the victim in order to suffer from mental down. Campusmagz (2013) declares that; Victims of bullying in general are a newcomer or someone who has a striking difference with the environment or with bullies themselves. Not only people who tend to be passive and have physical limitations, they are popular because they have a high social status, achievement riveting, or physical shape that envy can also be victims of bullying. In fact, sometimes the victims of bullying are people close to the actors. The condition of the victims will get worse if they do not dare to fight or lose when fighting. From observations and interviews during homeroom, teachers and students at several schools in Kudus, obtained information that often receives reports about violence or harassment (bullying). Students are teasing other students, scornful, humiliating and degrading other students, give a call as inappropriate (sarcasm) to other students, displaying facial expressions of cynical and condescending, spreading rumors, ignoring the other person, showing body gesture movements insulting others, silence and exclude another student, damaging belongings of others, hitting, pushing, kicking, berate their friends on social networks, hide belongings of other students, making fun of other students while teaching-learning process takes place, intimidate other students. Also obtained information that victims of bullying have low self-esteem, too quiet, very shy, awkward, difficult to express something and social relationships with peers in class is not very good. This happens every day without any serious action carried out from the school authority. In fact, not infrequently, there is physical contact between students of the class. Then the victims become quiet, withdrawn, anxious, trauma, heartache, physical pain, even hurt, but they remained silent. Many things students can do behind the bullying behavior, Campusmagz (2013) declares that; 191 Bullies have an underlying problem either with the family or by themselves, especially in terms of communication and psychological background. In essence, they have personal problems. Do not expect the bullies have a sense of regret or guilt over their behavior. They do not have the emotional maturity, irritable, and often catch other people's communication with a wrong perception. Given these facts, it can be said that students do not know about bullying, which they have done to friends at school. Therefore students need a deep understanding of bullying, how their characteristics, what impact resulting from the bullying behavior, what should be done when they bully, and others. With enough knowledge about bullying, the students are expected to be able to change negative behaviors so that students who are victims of bullying do not have to undergo the pressure again in the learning process and the process of socialization at school. Group counseling, deemed appropriate in addressing bullying because in accordance with the purpose of counseling groups described by Prayitno (2012) states that the group counseling aims at developing students' social skills, especially communication skills of participants and group counseling services focused on the discussion of personal problems of individual participants in problem-solving efforts. With counseling group of students were given the opportunity to discuss the problems experienced by students as well as members of other groups to be able to participate in the group. With the problems faced by the student, the counselor as leader of the group will work closely with members of the group to alleviate the problems experienced by victims and perpetrators of bullying in schools. Group counseling services with assertivetraining techniques