Human Sexuality: How Do Men and Male and Female Partners
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CURRENT DIRECTIONS IN PSYCHOLOGICAL SCIENCE mise between the desires of the Human Sexuality: How Do Men and male and female partners. In gay Women Differ? and lesbian relationships, sexual frequency is decided by partners of 1 Letitia Anne Peplau the same gender, and lesbians re- Psychology Department, University of California, Los Angeles, Los Angeles, California port having sex less often than gay men or heterosexuals. Further, women appear to be more willing differences and argued for women’s than men to forgo sex or adhere to Abstract religious vows of celibacy. A large body of scientific re- sexual equality with men. Recently, psychologists have taken stock of Masturbation provides a good search documents four impor- index of sexual desire because it is tant gender differences in the available scientific evidence. Reviews of empirical research on not constrained by the availability sexuality. First, on a wide vari- of a partner. Men are more likely ety of measures, men show diverse aspects of human sexuality have identified four important than women to masturbate, start greater sexual desire than do masturbating at an earlier age, and women. Second, compared male-female differences. These gender differences are pervasive, do so more often. In a review of 177 with men, women place greater studies, Oliver and Hyde (1993) emphasis on committed relation- affecting thoughts and feelings as well as behavior, and they charac- found large male-female differences ships as a context for sexuality. in the incidence of masturbation. In Third, aggression is more terize not only heterosexuals but lesbians and gay men as well. technical terms, the meta-analytic strongly linked to sexuality for effect size2 (d) for masturbation was men than for women. Fourth, 0.96, which is smaller than the women’s sexuality tends to be physical sex difference in height more malleable and capable of SEXUAL DESIRE (2.00) but larger than most psycho- change over time. These male- logical sex differences, such as the female differences are pervasive, Sexual desire is the subjective ex- performance difference on standard- affecting thoughts and feelings perience of being interested in sexual ized math tests (0.20). These and as well as behavior, and they objects or activities or wishing to en- many other empirical findings pro- characterize not only hetero- gage in sexual activities (Regan & vide evidence for men’s greater sexuals but lesbians and gay Berscheid, 1999). Many lines of re- sexual interest. men as well. Implications of search demonstrate that men show these patterns are considered. more interest in sex than women (see review by Baumeister, Catanese, & Keywords Vohs, 2001). Compared with SEXUALITY AND human sexuality; sexual desire; women, men think about sex more RELATIONSHIPS sexual orientation; sexual plas- often. They report more frequent sex ticity fantasies and more frequent feelings A second consistent difference is of sexual desire. Across the life span, that women tend to emphasize men rate the strength of their own committed relationships as a con- A century ago, sex experts confi- sex drive higher than do their female text for sexuality more than men dently asserted that men and age-mates. Men are more interested do. When Regan and Berscheid women have strikingly different in visual sexual stimuli and more (1999) asked young adults to de- sexual natures. The rise of scientific likely to spend money on such sex- fine sexual desire, men were more psychology brought skepticism ual products and activities as X-rated likely than women to emphasize about this popular but unproven videos and visits to prostitutes. physical pleasure and sexual inter- view, and the pendulum swung to- Men and women also differ in course. In contrast, women were ward an emphasis on similarities their preferred frequency of sex. more likely to “romanticize” the between men’s and women’s sexu- When heterosexual dating and experience of sexual desire, as seen ality. For example, Masters and marriage partners disagree about in one young woman’s definition Johnson (1966) captured attention sexual frequency, it is usually the of sexual desire as “longing to be by proposing a human sexual re- man who wants to have sex more emotionally intimate and to ex- sponse cycle applicable to both often than the woman does. In het- press love for another person” (p. sexes. Feminist scholars cautioned erosexual couples, actual sexual 75). Compared with women, men against exaggerating male-female frequency may reflect a compro- have more permissive attitudes to- Copyright © 2003 American Psychological Society 37 38 VOLUME 12, NUMBER 2, APRIL 2003 ward casual premarital sex and to- ual self-concepts, the initiation of timate heterosexual relationships. ward extramarital sex. The size of sex in heterosexual relationships, Many women who are battered by these gender differences is rela- and coercive sex. a boyfriend or husband also report tively large, particularly for casual Andersen, Cyranowski, and Es- sexual assaults as part of the abuse. premarital sex (d ϭ 0.81; Oliver & pindle (1999) investigated the di- In summary, aggression is more Hyde, 1993). Similarly, women’s mensions that individuals use to closely linked to sexuality for men sexual fantasies are more likely than characterize their own sexuality. than for women. Currently, we men’s to involve a familiar partner Both sexes evaluated themselves know little about aggression and and to include affection and com- along a dimension of being roman- sexuality among lesbians and gay mitment. In contrast, men’s fanta- tic, with some individuals seeing men; research on this topic would sies are more likely to involve strang- themselves as very passionate and provide a valuable contribution to ers, anonymous partners, or multiple others seeing themselves as not our understanding of gender and partners and to focus on specific sex very passionate. However, men’s human sexuality. acts or sexual organs. sexual self-concepts were also A gender difference in emphasiz- characterized by a dimension of ing relational aspects of sexuality is aggression, which concerned the also found among lesbians and gay extent to which they saw them- SEXUAL PLASTICITY men (see review by Peplau, Finger- selves as being aggressive, power- hut, & Beals, in press). Like heterosex- ful, experienced, domineering, and Scholars from many disciplines ual women, lesbians tend to have individualistic. There was no equiv- have noted that, in comparison less permissive attitudes toward ca- alent aggression dimension for with men’s sexuality, women’s sex- sual sex and sex outside a primary women’s sexual self-concepts. uality tends to have greater plastic- relationship than do gay or hetero- In heterosexual relationships, ity. That is, women’s sexual beliefs sexual men. Also like heterosexual men are commonly more assertive and behaviors can be more easily women, lesbians have sex fantasies than women and take the lead in shaped and altered by cultural, that are more likely to be personal sexual interactions (see review by social, and situational factors. and romantic than the fantasies of Impett & Peplau, 2003). During Baumeister (2000) systematically gay or heterosexual men. Lesbians the early stages of a dating relation- reviewed the scientific evidence on are more likely than gay men to be- ship, men typically initiate touching this point. In this section, I mention come sexually involved with part- and sexual intimacy. In ongoing re- a few of the many supportive em- ners who were first their friends, lationships, men report initiating pirical findings. then lovers. Gay men in committed sex about twice as often as their fe- One sign of plasticity concerns relationships are more likely than male partners or age-mates. To be changes in aspects of a person’s lesbians or heterosexuals to have sure, many women do initiate sex, sexuality over time. Such changes sex with partners outside their pri- but they do so less frequently than are more common among women mary relationship. their male partners. The same pat- than among men. For example, the In summary, women’s sexuality tern is found in people’s sexual fan- frequency of women’s sexual activ- tends to be strongly linked to a tasies. Men are more likely than ity is more variable than men’s. If a close relationship. For women, an women to imagine themselves do- woman is in an intimate relation- important goal of sex is intimacy; ing something sexual to a partner or ship, she might have frequent sex the best context for pleasurable sex taking the active role in a sexual en- with her partner. But following a is a committed relationship. This is counter. breakup, she might have no sex at less true for men. Rape stands at the extreme end all, including masturbation, for of the link between sex and aggres- several months. Men show less sion. Although women use many temporal variability: Following a strategies to persuade men to have romantic breakup, men may sub- SEXUALITY AND sex, physical force and violence are stitute masturbation for interper- AGGRESSION seldom part of their repertoire. sonal sex and so maintain a more Physically coercive sex is primarily constant frequency of sex. There is A third gendered pattern con- a male activity (see review by Fel- also growing evidence that women cerns the association between sexu- son, 2002). There is growing recog- are more likely than men to change ality and aggression. This link has nition that stranger and acquain- their sexual orientation over time. been demonstrated in many do- tance rape are not the whole story; In an illustrative longitudinal study mains, including individuals’ sex- some men use physical force in in- (Diamond, 2003), more than 25% of Published by Blackwell Publishing Inc. CURRENT DIRECTIONS IN PSYCHOLOGICAL SCIENCE 39 18- to 25-year-old women who ini- Finally, these male-female differ- interested partner must communi- tially identified as lesbian or bi- ences apply not only to heterosexu- cate his or her desire.