Spotlight on Sands 2018

How are you?

#FindingTheWords: Sands Awareness Month campaign 18 Meet our inspiring fundraisers 22

Commemorating 40 years of Sands 8 Contents Contents

Credit: Chris Heale The Sands bereavement support app Commemorating 27 40 years of Sands 8 Saving babies’ lives through research #FindingTheWords: 14 our awareness- Updates from raising campaign across the UK 18 16

Welcome 4 #FindingTheWords: The year ahead 5 Sands Awareness Month campaign 18 News 6 Fundraising for Sands 20 Upcoming events 21 Inspiring Commemorating 40 years of Sands 8 Inspiring fundraisers 22 The history of Sands 10 Other ways to support Sands 25 fundraisers Working with professionals Stories and poems to improve bereavement care 12 Support for anyone affected by the death of a baby 26 28 Success via the National Bereavement Care Pathway 13 22 Supporting non-medical professionals 27 The latest in research and prevention 14 Sands bereavement support app 27 Updates from across the networks 16 Stories and poems 28 Art as therapy with a Sands befriender 17

Contact Support for you Feedback General enquiries Make a donation t: 0808 164 3332 We’d love to hear your comments Stay up to date t: 020 7436 7940 sands.org.uk/donate e: [email protected] surveymonkey.co.uk/r/spotlightonsands e: [email protected] Get involved w: sands.org.uk with our e-news Fundraising sands.org.uk/ Sands online community Follow us on social media t: 020 3897 6092 get-involved www.sands.community Get regular information about our work and e: [email protected] Sands bereavement support app recent news at sands.org.uk/newsletter sands.org.uk/app 2 I Spotlight on Sands Spotlight on Sands I 3 Welcome Welcome Dear Friends The year ahead Key dates for your diary Welcome to the new edition of Spotlight on Sands 2018 2019 In this issue we will be sharing with you some of the amazing work that is being done by all the wonderful people involved with Sands 1–30 June in so many different ways. Sands Awareness Month

We have been taking positive steps to break the taboo With help and input from many of you, we have put In the UK, 15 babies die before, during or shortly surrounding baby loss with our #FindingTheWords together the virtual 40th anniversary timeline, and after birth every day. Every June, we work hard to campaign (p.18) which we ran throughout June, the breadth and scope of what has been achieved is a raise awareness of issues relating to stillbirth and focussing particularly on helping employers, family and testament to the wonderful work of all those who have neonatal death. friends to talk to bereaved parents about their babies. been involved in Sands over the years. 17 November sands.org.uk/sandsawarenessmonth Sands’ 40th Anniversary Conference, Glasgow We have also continued to find new ways to reach as As well as celebrating how much has been achieved, many bereaved parents and healthcare professionals as it has also been a good moment to look forward and Aimed at trustees, members, staff, volunteers, 15 June possible, working to expand the reach of the National acknowledge that there is still more to do. By working befrienders, bereaved parents, supporters and donors, Sands Garden Day Bereavement Care Pathway (p.13) and launching our together I know we will continue to reduce the number the conference seeks to provide an opportunity for the and Remembrance new bereavement support app (p.26) that provides of babies dying, and to improve the care and support whole organisation to come together, celebrate what information and guidance in a format that is quick and received by all those affected by the death of a baby. has been achieved by Sands over the last 40 years and Event, National easy to access. commit to what more needs to be done to make our Memorial Arboretum, I am immensely proud to be involved with such an vision a reality. Staffordshire Alongside these achievements, Sands freephone amazing organisation, and am enormously grateful to all helpline has been accredited by the Helplines of you for your incredible work and support – thank you! The theme for 2018 is Past, Present and Future, to reflect This annual event offers anyone affected by the death of Partnership (p.7), evidence of our commitment to the achievements of all those who have worked with us a baby the opportunity to meet with others in a peaceful providing a high quality helpline service to all those Dr Clea Harmer over the years to support anyone affected by the death setting. The service is followed by a short dedication in who need it. of a baby, improve bereavement care and fund research the Sands Garden. Chief Executive, Sands to reduce the number of babies dying. And of course this year we celebrate Sands’ 40th sands.org.uk/gardenday anniversary (p.8) – looking back and celebrating sands.org.uk/conference From left to right: All kinds of fundraising for how much has been achieved since Bel Mooney and Sands continued throughout our 40th year. Hazelanne Lewis founded the charity in 1978 after their A still from our #FindingTheWords animation. 9–15 October own experiences following the stillbirths of their babies. Hull Minster lit up to celebrate our anniversary. 7 December Baby Loss Credit: Chris Heale Lights of Love Awareness Week

Our annual Lights of Love The annual awareness week is a collaboration services are held at venues between over 60 charities that provides an across the UK and are opportunity for bereaved parents, families and friends organised by our dedicated to commemorate babies’ lives and break the silence volunteers. The services are around pregnancy loss and baby death in the UK. family-friendly evenings of traditional carols, readings, babyloss-awareness.org and musical performances. sands.org.uk/lightsoflove

Spotlight on Sands I 5 4 I Spotlight on Sands News

News New bereavement support New parliamentary Act to app is launched help bereaved parents We are always looking to improve and expand We were pleased to hear that The Parental on the different ways we offer bereavement Bereavement (Leave and Pay) Act has now support to anyone affected by the death of a become law in UK Parliament. baby for as long as they need it. The Act will introduce a minimum of two weeks’ We have created a brand new mobile bereavement leave for employees whose baby or child has died. support app for parents, family and friends, partners, #BLAW18 campaign banner This will include parents whose baby is stillborn or grandparents and healthcare professionals where dies neonatally. they can access information at their convenience on Thousands of people came together to help break the We welcome the Act and the proposals to ensure their smartphone. silence around pregnancy and baby loss. Our most all parents, including those who experience a The idea to create an app was inspired by Nicole heartfelt thanks to those who got involved. We look stillbirth or neonatal death, have a right to at least Regan-White whose baby daughter Jessica was forward to seeing even more of you taking part in two weeks’ paid leave from work in addition to stillborn in 2013. #BLAW2019! their existing parental leave entitlement. Read more on page 27 babyloss-awareness.org Download from your app store Sands urges the government Sands helpline receives A still from our campaign animation to help pregnant women accreditation accolade Action across the UK during quit smoking Sands Awareness Baby Loss Awareness Week Our freephone helpline has been recognised Month sees launch of Sands and the Smoking in Pregnancy Challenge and awarded with an accreditation by the #FindingTheWords campaign In its 16th year, Baby Group have called for the government to take Helplines Partnership (HLP). Loss Awareness Week action to tackle the number of women who The helpline was assessed and was found to In June, we launched a campaign featuring 2018 saw more than 60 smoke during pregnancy. Such action has the show a duty of care to bereaved parents and their an animation showing a ‘day in the life’ of a charities collaborate to potential to prevent harm to hundreds of babies families, and to the staff who operate the service. bereaved parent and calling on everyone raise awareness of the key every year. The HLP found that our helpline was at the heart in society to help break the silence around issues affecting those who have experienced We are calling for action by the government to reduce of the services we provide and offers a recognised baby loss. pregnancy loss or baby death in the UK. the rates of women who smoke during pregnancy as standard of care and professionalism. We also urged employers to get in touch for advice, they are failing to meet their target. Pregnant women This year the coalition urged all NHS Trusts and We are delighted that the results of the assessment after a Sands survey revealed that parents struggling who smoke can visit our Safer Pregnancy website for Boards to adopt the National Bereavement Care show the helpline operates within a standard of to cope after the death of their baby are often let advice on quitting at: Pathway (NBCP), a partnership led by Sands between practice that bereaved parents, their families and down by their employer if they return to work. Only government, charities, and the NHS, that sets out saferpregnancy.org.uk anyone affected by the death of a baby can trust. one in five bereaved parents surveyed had been the standards for providing excellent care to anyone offered or provided with any bereavement support affected by pregnancy loss or the death of a baby. by their employer, and almost half said employers did not discuss entitlements to pay and leave with them, There were many ways to get involved, including following the death of their baby. helping to turn buildings pink and blue, wearing the ribbon pin badge, spreading the word amongst Read more on page 18 friends, family and colleagues and emailing MPs and For the latest news and updates from Subscribe to receive our e-news other decision makers. Sands, visit sands.org.uk/news sands.org.uk/newsletter 6 I Spotlight on Sands Spotlight on Sands I 7 40 years of support 40 years of support

40 years of being the voice of bereaved families

In 2018, Sands turned 40! We’ve been busy with lots of activities to mark the occasion and honour the achievements of everyone who has worked with us to support bereaved parents and reduce the baby death rate in the UK. Read on to find out what we’ve been up to.

40 stories Back in June, we asked parents, family members and friends affected by the death of a baby to share their stories and experiences of loss, The limited edition 40th Everything I do for including those who were bereaved long ago. Fundraising for Sands during anniversary pin badge our 40th year. Sands, I’m doing We’ve been overwhelmed by the amazing response, receiving many powerful stories, 40 of which we’ve picked to share on our website and for my son. social media. Together, these stories will continue to raise awareness 40 volunteers Volunteer profile: of the issues surrounding stillbirth and neonatal death, and also help Our volunteers are fantastic! We’ve been celebrating their Edel Campbell, Befriender other bereaved parents to understand that they are not alone. efforts by highlighting 40 of them on our website and social As well as taking part in fundraising media, with a special awards ceremony on 17 November. sands.org.uk/40stories events, in her role as a befriender, Edel sands.org.uk/40volunteers supports parents at Cookstown Sands. 40 words “I am absolutely delighted to hear I have been We also asked supporters for 40 words about what Sands means to #Sands40 nominated for an award. I was not expecting this them, receiving heartfelt responses in a variety of creative formats. If Thank you to all those who have reached out to us on social at all. I first became involved with Sands 12 years you’d like to share yours, please email: media, made use of our digital toolkit and spread the word ago, after we lost our first-born son Conan at [email protected] with hashtags: #Sands40 #40yearsofsupport #TeamSands two days’ old (born at 28 weeks). Over the years, #40storiesforSands I have taken part in many events and organised fundraising events for the charity, and to be “Today would have been my little girls, Gracie, Lottie and 40 years honest, this has kept me going. Because Conan Pippa’s 10th birthday. Everyday it’s hard and a struggle, never got the chance to do a marathon or a mud To illustrate just how far we’ve come, we put together a timeline to without @SandsUK I dont know where I would be. So a huge run, I did these events on his behalf. Everything showcase the history of Sands. Take a look at page 10 to see our key thank you to all @SandsUK staff, you are amazing. x” I do for Sands, I’m doing for my son and it keeps milestones, or view the virtual version online. Donna Wilson his memory alive. So for me this is not my award, sands.org.uk/timeline it’s Conan’s.” 40th fundraising 40th Anniversary Conference Across the UK, many people have been holding fantastic With a theme of Past, Present and Future, Sands’ 40th Anniversary Sands 40th anniversary and Walk a Mile in My Shoes Conference and AGM provides a wonderful opportunity for the whole fundraising events, sharing and celebrating memories while organisation to come together in Glasgow, to celebrate what has been raising awareness and vital funds for the charity. If you’d like For more information about achieved by Sands over the last 40 years and commit to what more to organise your own event, register on our website and we’ll needs to be done to make our vision a reality. be in touch to send posters, balloons, bunting and more. our 40th anniversary, visit sands.org.uk/sands40 sands.org.uk/conference sands.org.uk/register-your-fundraising

8 I Spotlight on Sands Spotlight on Sands I 9 40 years of support 40 years of support

2010 Sands begins funding research that could help The history of Sands to reduce stillbirth and neonatal death.

Our key milestones show just how far we’ve come since Sands was founded, as we’ve strived for Sands publishes the Bereavement Care Report, a world where fewer babies die and anyone affected by the death of baby receives the best care investigating the standard of bereavement care in maternity units across the UK. and support for as long as they need. Why17? exhibition at OXO Gallery showcases 17 photos of pregnant women affected by the death of their baby.

Bereaved mothers Bel Mooney and 1978 Sands helpline Hazelanne Lewis found Sands during set up. Sands’ Preventing Babies’ Deaths report calls a time when most parents are not allowed 2012 for better data and research into baby deaths, to see, hold or have a funeral for their stillborn 1985 increased public awareness of stillbirth risks, babies. No photographs are taken, nor is the better reviews and improved bereavement care. baby’s name included on the stillbirth certificate. In 1975 things Sands’ first support 2013 Samantha Cameron hosts a reception at were very different. Pregnancy Loss 1986 booklet, Saying 10 Downing Street in support of Sands. Hazelanne Lewis, goodbye to your and the Death of co-founder of Sands a Baby: Guidelines 1991 baby, is published. Sands works with EastEnders scriptwriters and actress for Professionals is Hazelanne Lewis, psychiatric social 2015 Rakhee Thakrar whose character has a stillborn baby. published for the worker and co-founder of Sands said: first time. 1992 Following lobbying by Sands and other “When I gave birth to my stillborn baby groups, the Still-Birth (Definition) Act in 1975 things were very different than Formation of the All-Party Parliamentary Group on comes into force, changing the definition of they are today. My baby was taken away Baby Loss brings MPs and peers together to improve Sands introduces teardrop stillbirth from 28 to 24 weeks of pregnancy. 2016 from me almost instantly, delivered with care for bereaved parents and raise awareness of the stickers for the hospital notes nurses leaning over me and they took issues around baby death within parliament. of bereaved parents. 1993 him out of the room so I couldn’t see him. The midwives made no eye contact 1996 and they instructed my husband not to Launch of the National Bereavement Care Pathway. discuss our baby with me. First Garden Day and Remembrance Event. 2000 2017 My experience spurred me on to reach First Sands Awareness Week. Sands advises on a Coronation out to other bereaved parents who had First Baby Loss Awareness Week. Street storyline where character been through the same ordeal and we formed a support group which became 2003 2004 First Lights of Love service. Michelle Connor's baby dies at 23 weeks. Sands. Thankfully bereavement care has changed for the better since the 1970s Sands joins the International Stillbirth saferpregnancy.org.uk goes live. and we have seen the number of baby Alliance, a collaborative global effort to Sands launches an online community to deaths reduced, but more research reverse stillbirth rates and improve 2005 provide bereaved parents with support 24/7. Sands is able to make memory boxes work needs to be carried out to reduce bereavement care. 2006 available to hospitals free of charge. the number of deaths even further.”

Sands’ Saving Babies’ Lives report highlights Sands begins providing free memory Sands’ #15babiesaday initiative that some babies’ deaths are potentially 2008 boxes to bereaved parents and families. highlights that 15 babies die before, Find out more on our avoidable and calls for collaborative during or shortly after birth in the UK virtual timeline at commitment to address these. 2009 every single day. sands.org.uk/timeline

10 I Spotlight on Sands Spotlight on Sands I 11 Improving bereavement care Improving bereavement care

Working with Sands Guidelines Success via the National Bereavement Care Pathway for Professionals At Sands, we’re proud to be leading on the National specialist post at Sands. This fantastic development will enable us to work closely with partner charities and other professionals to improve Sands Guidelines for Professionals Bereavement Care Pathway (NBCP), a project that organisations to develop, implement and embed the have formed the basis of Sands’ work aims to ensure all bereaved parents are offered equal, pathway in Scotland over the next two years. We hope to bereavement care with healthcare staff for many years. high‑quality, individualised, safe and sensitive care in any reach the rest of the UK by March 2020. They have been recognised as a experience of pregnancy or baby loss. The care parents receive when their baby dies can have a huge leading resource for those working Working with parents, charity partners, Royal Colleges Together with the Parent Advisory Group and effect on their physical and mental health, in both the short with bereaved families since they were and other key stakeholders, we helped to launch the independent evaluators Fiveways, the pathway project and long term. While no level of care can remove the grief that first published in 1991, helping to drive pathway in October 2017 at 11 sites across England. team carried out a very successful evaluation of the NBCP parents feel, good care can make a devastating experience forward improvements in the delivery This generated great momentum and excitement, to with healthcare professionals and bereaved parents. feel more manageable, while poor‑quality or insensitively- of bereavement care across the UK. the extent that we were oversubscribed with interest. We are always struck by the generosity of those who share delivered care can compound and exacerbate pain. Ultimately, a further 21 Trusts in England joined us for Now in their fourth edition, the their time and experiences with us, to ensure that the Guidelines bring together research the second wave of the project in April 2018, trebling the As the quality of bereavement care that parents receive varies across the documents we produce are based on evidence and are evidence, best practice and the number of pathway sites to 32. country, Sands offers specialist, RCM-accredited training to healthcare appropriate for those who have suffered a loss. experiences of bereaved families professionals, to ensure that a minimum standard of care is offered. We continue to be delighted by the support we have to provide detailed guidance on From 2017 to 2018, Sands trained more than 2,600 professionals, received form the Scottish Government, providing Thank you to everyone who has helped so far. how to deliver effective, parent-led including midwives, doulas, health visitors, interpreters and multi- funding to initiate the project in Scotland and create a bereavement care through early and disciplinary teams. Sands training courses get consistently positive late miscarriage, termination for fetal feedback and most participants report feeling more confident about anomaly, stillbirth and neonatal death. communicating sensitively with bereaved parents. The NBCP helps professionals to support families in their bereavement through six key stages: The Guidelines combine decades 1 of work by Sands with advice and Diagnosis/delivering difficult news feedback from more than 60 experts, The course was delivered professionally but with so much and have been endorsed by 22 Plan of care leading organisations working with Time heart. It has truly made an impression upon me and I 6 Choices 2 bereaved families. intend to take what I have learnt forward into practice. Staff care Environment Labour and birth Since the fourth edition of the Workshop participant Identify training needs Birth plan Guidelines was published in 2016, Recognise own support needs Paperwork Support structures in place nearly 1,150 copies have been sold to Continuity of care healthcare professionals, and copies Family centred During our workshops, we provide an opportunity for participants to are now available in most UK maternity Communication 5 Subsequent 3 hear directly from a bereaved parent, looking at the wider impacts of a and neonatal units. This unique Parent-led After birth/aftercare baby’s death. We explore how to break bad news sensitively and how collaboration between bereaved pregnancy to provide empathic care in the aftermath. Finally, we cover self-care families and healthcare professionals Labour and birth Registration/certification strategies. It is important to acknowledge the impact of providing helps to ensure that parents receive Antenatal care Memory-making Pre-conception Post-mortem/histology bereavement care on the professionals, and to ensure that they personalised, empathic care at the 4 Discharge Funeral/sensitive disposal are supported. time they need it most.

sands.org.uk/guidelines Aftercare Feedback Ongoing emotional support Healthcare professionals can book onto a workshop by emailing Find out more at [email protected] sands.org.uk/our-work/working-professionals To get involved as a parent or a professional, please contact Marc Harder, Project Lead, at [email protected] or visit nbcpathway.org.uk 12 I Spotlight on Sands Spotlight on Sands I 13 Research and prevention work Research and prevention work

Reducing stillbirth rates

The latest in research The Saving Babies’ Lives Care Bundle was introduced by NHS England in 2013, in and prevention response to Sands and others highlighting the UK’s unacceptably high stillbirth rates. Learning from baby deaths with The care bundle is a trigger for helping a new review tool units implement current best practice.

Sands has championed the need for better hospital reviews It focuses on four key elements of maternity care: reducing smoking when a baby dies since 2012. Too often after the death of a in pregnancy; assessing fetal growth restriction; raising awareness of baby, families go home without the fullest possible picture reduced fetal movements; and effective fetal monitoring in labour. of events around their baby’s death. This year has seen Five years on, Sands has supported work evaluating how effective the the launch of an important new way to learn lessons and care bundle has been in reducing stillbirths. A team led by researchers improve future care. at Manchester University analysed data from almost half a million The Perinatal Mortality Review Tool (PMRT) is an online tool pregnancies in 19 Trusts. They found that in those units where the to support healthcare staff in reviewing a baby’s death. Free care bundle was implemented, stillbirths fell by 20%. Though it isn’t to use in England, Scotland and Wales, the tool provides a certain the fall was due solely to the care bundle, the improvement is guided format for hospitals to look at all aspects of care, extremely welcome news. from antenatal care right through to bereavement care. Where necessary, the tool will generate issues around lesson learning where future care could be improved. In those units where the care bundle was implemented, Sands is helping to develop the PMRT, providing guidelines stillbirths fell by 20% around what good quality bereavement care should look like and ensuring parents’ voices are included in reviews.

For more information go to sands.org.uk/pmrt NHS England is currently working on a Care Bundle 2, which will add new elements and include public health messages about stillbirth risk, drafted by Sands. From research to advice for pregnant women Sands supports research to help answer the questions that surround stillbirth and neonatal death, funding some studies directly and Sands Research Fund has awarded almost £1 million supporting others by helping to recruit participants and acting as in grants since 2010. These have examined a range of a co-applicant on requests for funding. questions including: how to use scans to predict babies at risk in the last trimester of pregnancy; which aspects of a Read more about the care bundle evaluation at post mortem yield the most useful information; and how sands.org.uk/safercare to use fetal movement monitoring to reduce stillbirths. We recently co-funded The Midlands and North of England Stillbirth Study, which estimates that if all pregnant women in the UK went to sleep on their side in the last three months of pregnancy, about 130 deaths a year might be avoided. For more information about our Our pregnancy website carries this advice for research and prevention work, visit pregnant women saferpregnancy.org.uk sands.org.uk/our-work/research

14 I Spotlight on Sands Spotlight on Sands I 15 Networks and volunteering Networks and volunteering

Credit: marathon-photos.com Updates from Art as therapy with across the networks a Sands befriender Our countrywide networks with over 100 local support by Tommy Ferguson Groups, usually run by bereaved parents and family I sadly got involved with Sands after the death This made me want to share the experience with other members, offer a chance to meet others, gain support Staffordshire Sands fundraisers of my son Joshua in 2009. Myself and my wife bereaved parents. I hosted an art as therapy session at and share your experience. Read on for recent highlights Chester Sands befrienders Leslie got a lot of support from Belfast Sands and Belfast Sands where I’m a befriender and the group went from Sands Groups. through all the initial emotions I did – and came out the wanted to give something back. other end amazed. When I first heard of art as therapy I thought it was a One mother said it was the most powerful thing her bit cheesy and not quite for me. I’m no good at art, I A visit from Princess Anne Volunteer is Pride of Britain nominee partner had done since the death of their baby – it don’t even like drawing that much and well – therapy?! really opened her eyes to how he felt. Others took great Volunteers from Dumfries Dawne Braine of Hastings and East Sussex Sands has Chatting to the other bereaved parents there, we were comfort in being able to express themselves in ways and Galloway Sands showed been recognised for her fundraising. Dawne has been almost all of one mind – this’ll be awful but let’s give it they couldn’t verbally. Most of these were in terms of Princess Anne around the fundraising for the Conquest Hospital, and supporting a go. The facilitators got us all on seats in a circle with happiness – it somehow didn’t feel right to be happy bereavement suite when bereaved parents via their Sands’ befriending. Dawn said: dozens of random images laid out on the floor between given the death of their baby, but they could express she opened the new Royal “Supporting bereaved families and fundraising are my us. The idea was that you had a good look at all the their joy in artwork. After all, our babies are still our Infirmary on 12 July. Princess way of keeping my George walking beside me every day. I images and chose one that attracted you. Then you got children. Even if they are not here, we can still be happy. Anne’s daughter, Zara Phillips, has spoken about the made him a promise before he passed away that he would a piece of paper and whatever materials you wanted, late miscarriage she suffered in 2016. be remembered always, so this isn’t my award, it’s George’s.” and created something inspired by your image.

Alison Hall and Alison Carruthers spoke to the Princess There were no specific instructions on how to do it and about the importance of a bereavement suite. Alison Newport’s butterfly garden in fact the process of creating was the important part of Hall said: “Ali talked about her own experience and the A new butterfly garden opened the morning. I nervously watched other people create support offered by Sands.” in July at Royal Gwent Hospital, beautiful pictures while I stared at a blank page. One of She said meeting the Princess was “...the kind of experience Newport, thanks to fundraising the facilitators saw this and asked me a few questions, that really makes everything we do worthwhile.” by Cardiff & Newport Sands, then pop! A whole image came into my mind and I was along with the chaplaincy done in two minutes! team and the Rotary Club. Northern Irish golf challenge Because I had finished early, I took the opportunity Heatherjane Coombs, Sands Welsh Network Coordinator, to walk around the hall and introduce myself. People Four friends attempted an epic golf challenge in said, “The garden is a safe haven outside antenatal for hugged me spontaneously or cried as they told me their Northern Ireland in June 2018: to play four rounds of people to sit and think following bad news.” story and there was even laughter and real joy as I heard golf in one day. Kevin Gallagher and his three friends The garden hosts animal statues with a postbox, why they had created what they did. We then gathered People hugged me had an early 5.30 am tee off. After 13 and a half hours of enabling families to post letters to their loved ones. into groups to discuss our creations and these reactions golf, they completed their challenge to raise awareness At the opening, families donated bulbs and seeds, and were even more powerful – I found myself in tears and spontaneously or cried as and funds for Sands. bubbles were released in memory of their babies. the support I got from the group was inspiring. they told me their story. Kevin said: “You won’t believe it, but the match came to a draw after 72 holes! There was loads of people out watching. It was hard going, but was 100% worth it for an amazing cause.” Find a Group at sands.org.uk/groups Sands befrienders play a vital role in offering support to bereaved families throughout or subscribe for Group news at the UK. We are hugely grateful to the many volunteers on whom our service relies. sands.org.uk/newsfromgroups Find out more at sands.org.uk/befrienders 16 I Spotlight on Sands Spotlight on Sands I 17 Sands Awareness Month Sands Awareness Month #FindingTheWords Sands Awareness Month campaign Sharing the words of We must break the For Sands Awareness Month in June 2018, we bereaved families silence around baby loss. launched the #FindingTheWords campaign During the planning for the campaign we ran a Bel Mooney, co-founder of Sands to help break the silence around stillbirth and survey to find out more about the experience of Author, journalist and neonatal death. parents and other family members returning to co-founder of Sands, work after the death of a baby, and more than We wanted to help everyone start a conversation about Bel Mooney, said: 2,700 bereaved parents, grandparents, and other baby loss with anyone they knew whose baby had died, “The short but however long ago. We also urged employers to get family members took part. oh‑so‑powerful animation brought involved and support parents returning to work after the Almost all parents who responded (95%) had shared tears of recognition death of a baby. the happy news of their pregnancy with colleagues, but to my eyes, nearly 43 after returning to work two in five said no one talked to At the heart of the #FindingTheWords campaign was an years later. The loss them about their loss. animation showing a ‘day in the life’ of a bereaved parent of a baby is with you struggling to cope. Only one in five parents surveyed said they had been forever, and I can still A campaign hub on the Sands website included the offered or provided with any bereavement support recall people turning animation, advice on starting a conversation about The animation was seen by more than 380,000 by their employer, and almost half said employers did away awkwardly, not knowing what to say. Yet not discuss entitlements to pay and leave with them, words of understanding and compassion are not baby loss, information for employers, and other ways for people during June and the campaign web people to get involved, such as social media banners and following the death of their baby. Many mentioned the really hard to find – and I believe that friends and suggested posts, and signing up to fundraise through pages were viewed more than 19,000 times! importance of other people feeling able to talk about colleagues can be 'taught' how to respond to this Walk A Mile In My Shoes. the death of their baby. shockingly common bereavement.

Dr Clea Harmer, Sands Chief Executive, was interviewed “At first my colleagues never said a word about my baby, “We must break the silence around baby loss. And Sands’ 40th anniversary was highlighted throughout by The Victoria Derbyshire Programme on BBC2 and Sky although quite a few of them, including my manager, that reaching-out in simple human sympathy can the campaign and more than 50 local Sands Groups ran TV News spoke to bereaved parent Amanda Wood about attended the funeral, which was very kind and very start in the workplace, if employers recognise the fundraising and awareness events. Hull and East Yorkshire the support she was offered when she returned to work supportive. Over the first few weeks, gradually people did importance of what has happened and colleagues Sands worked with their local community to turn their following the death of her daughter, Layla. broach the subject with me. I wish someone had said to realise that saying quietly, 'I'm so sorry to hear city orange and blue. Eszti Pontone, Group Treasurer, said: them, it’s okay to talk to me about the baby.” what happened' is not, in fact, very hard at all.” During June, we also shared stories of bereaved parents “We’ve been so touched by the businesses who have and families in a dedicated blog series. taken this on because it is still a taboo subject.” Overall, the campaign was very well received and many people commented on social media to let us know it Find out more at had made a real difference: sands.org.uk/findingthewords “I started a conversation with a friend of my in-laws yesterday about the baby boy she lost 45 years ago. I don’t Credit: Chris Heale know her very well, but I decided to be brave! It was nice to From left to right: Sands Credit: Chris Heale be able to use his name and ask her about him, and I hope bunting lined Humber Street in Hull. Queen Victoria she found it cathartic. She certainly lit up when she talked Square in Hull turned about him.“ blue and orange. Groups Share your story at were busy fundraising throughout June. sands.org.uk/shareyourstory

18 I Spotlight on Sands Spotlight on Sands I 19 Fundraising Fundraising

Whatever your passion, Join Team Sands... there’s something for everyone ...and take part in amazing challenges to help raise vital funds and awareness. The death of a baby before, during or shortly after birth Remember that whatever you choose, it’s usually best to 2019 Whether it’s falling through the sky at 120mph, jogging your is a devastating experience with lifelong consequences select something you like doing. That way, not only will first 5k, running a marathon, climbing a mountain or conquering for the whole family. Each year, Sands works to support you be helping us but you’ll be enjoying yourself too. an epic trek, we'd love you to join us and get involved. Whatever thousands of bereaved families and improve the care By fundraising for Sands, you will help us to provide Runs you’re interested in, we’ve got the challenge for you! they receive, as well as fund vital research to prevent essential support for anyone affected by the death of a more families suffering the loss of their precious baby. 19 May Great Manchester baby, and aid our work to reduce death rate in the UK. Run and Find out more at Our work is totally dependent on donations and would Be sure to visit sands.org.uk/get-involved, to see The greatest running event in sands.org.uk/get-involved not be possible without the generosity of our amazing upcoming fundraising events and campaigns, find out Manchester, known for its buzzing supporters. There are hundreds of enjoyable ways to get about volunteering, get ideas for fundraising at work, atmosphere, incredible supporters involved, from fun runs to marathons, sponsored bakes sign up for your Sands fundraising pack and much more. and booming Manchester anthems! to attempts at record breaking – the sky’s the limit. Use your imagination and create your own challenge; we’d However you choose to fundraise for Sands, we’ll be 25–26 May love to hear from you! Festival there to support you every step of the way! Offering stunning views and an unforgettable running experience, the Edinburgh Marathon Festival is Cycles and Scotland's largest running event. challenges

27 May Vitality 10,000 April – September Tough Mudder Taking on the Big Fun Run A flat, fast 10k through London A series of hardcore 10–12 in Leeds with an iconic route past Nelson’s mile obstacle race mud runs to Column, St Paul’s Cathedral, Big Ben challenge the toughest of the tough Fun runs and many more! throughout the UK. 12 May Superhero Run 29 September Berlin Marathon 6 July and 31 August TrekFest Bake for Sands Grab your cape and join thousands A marathon party lasting 26 miles, Challenge yourself to TrekFest of fellow runners to become a If you love baking, there are lots of ways you can with 1 million spectators lining the 2019! Trek 25k or 50k across the Sands superhero. turn your showstopping skills into raising funds. course through the German capital. Peak District or the Brecon Beacons. Download our Bake for Sands pack from July – October Big Fun Run Series sands.org.uk/bake to get started! 6 October 4 August Prudential RideLondon 100 With 18 locations throughout the One of the UK's biggest and best A spectacular 100-mile ride and the UK, you can take part in a 5k near Run, jog or plod for Sands road races around Wales' stunning world’s greatest cycling festival! you and run for fitness or fun… just Thank you very much for capital city. run for Sands! Whether you’re a cyclist, a runner, a jogger or a 15 September the fundraising pack, it’s such plodder, visit the events section of our website to 13 October Great Birmingham Run London to Brighton Cycle 2 December* Santa Run a great support to get my find loads of fundraising events to take part in. If Hit the streets to your favourite An event for cyclists of all Join 2,000 Father Christmases and you can’t see what you’re looking for, please do music for an electric party experiences and levels – a scenic be a Sands Santa in this 5k or 10k get in touch with our friendly fundraising team at atmosphere that will keep you 54‑mile ride from Clapham Common festive fun run. fundraising up and running. [email protected] or call 020 3897 6092 going from start to finish. to Brighton seafront. *Subject to change Caitriona McGloin, Sands Supporter and we’ll see what we can do to help.

20 I Spotlight on Sands Spotlight on Sands I 21 Fundraising Fundraising

Running a marathon for baby Minnie The Roses take on RideLondon

Together with his younger brother Ollie, our superstar supporter Ben Quiney raised over A team of friends and family called The Roses took part in RideLondon 2018 to raise awareness £8,000 for Sands, running the in memory of Ollie’s baby daughter, Minnie. and funds in aid of Sands. Here, Ben tells us about his perfect niece and deciding to take on the challenge of a lifetime to RideLondon is the world’s greatest festival of cycling, The Roses joined more than 100,000 cyclists to take help others affected by the death of a baby. with thousands of cyclists participating over the part in RideLondon and their challenge saw them cycle two‑day event. through London and Surrey on a route similar to that of by Ben Quiney the London 2012 Olympics road cycling races. The Roses team members Sarah and David Abbott’s Back in October 2014, my awesome younger brother Ollie We weren’t aiming for a time in the London Marathon, daughter Lizzie was given the devastating news that her The Roses are great fundraisers and ambassadors for and his amazing wife Amy lost their newborn daughter we definitely weren’t going to win; we just wanted to baby daughter, Ella, had died at 34 weeks gestation. Sands. They have already raised an incredible £15,000 Minnie at one day old. This was due to an undetected lung enjoy it (if at all possible) and finish it together, thinking in memory of Ella, they were interviewed about their Sands supported the family by providing Lizzie infection, which was not identified until immediately after about our beautiful little girl, Minnie. challenge on BBC Radio Surrey, and were featured in with a memory box, which helped them to create she was born. RideLondon – The Riders’ Stories. The marathon was an emotional and brilliant day in so precious memories. Minnie was absolutely beautiful, perfect in every way. I will many ways. We can’t think of a better way to have done Sarah said, “I never thought in a million years that I could “My husband, David, and I decided that we needed to personally cherish forever the few short moments I had something really positive for Minnie. do it when I first approached Sands, initially for a place do something to raise awareness for the work of Sands.” cuddling and holding her. She was and is an angel. in the 46 mile ride, never 100 miles… We have met some Sarah explained, “They have been there for us in our very amazing people during our fundraising, who talked to Thanks for reading our story and thanks to all of darkest hours and for as long as we have needed them Losing Minnie was an extremely traumatic and upsetting us about their babies – some from many years ago, very you who donated to support this amazing charity. to be.” experience, and one that Ollie, Amy and both of their humbling. Keep up your amazing work! If the money we families will never get over or truly understand. raised prevents one family from going through what we Moments afterwards, Sands kindly provided us with have been through, it will have been worth it.” a memory box. We put the name tags and the usual keepsakes associated with a new baby into this box. Unfortunately, this was all Ollie and Amy walked away from the hospital with that day. It’s a vivid and raw memory I will never forget.

In May 2016, Ollie and Amy had their third child, Arlo. Just like their first child Alfie and Minnie, Arlo is beautiful and awesome. As soon as Arlo was born, we started discussing what we could do to support Sands and the people who had helped Ollie and Amy over the previous years. Finally, the time felt right to do something for this amazing charity.

Sands had supported Ollie and Amy in so many ways. They’d always been there and we really wanted to give back to this wonderful charity, so that Sands could The Roses #TeamSands continue to help other families who might have a similar harrowing experience. We were keen to raise as much Feeling inspired? Find out how you money as we could – we thought it was the best way to say thank you. can get involved at Ollie and Ben sands.org.uk/events

22 I Spotlight on Sands Spotlight on Sands I 23 Fundraising Fundraising

Company Other ways to support Sands fundraising Running or cycling not your thing? Here are some other ways you can get involved – together we can support anyone affected by the death of a baby, improve the care they Each year, we work with a variety of companies receive and save babies’ lives. who chose Sands as their charity of the year. Often we are nominated by an employee who has recently returned to work following the death Collect stamps and of their baby or by an employee who knows foreign coins someone who has been supported by Sands. Cyclists from Alliance Pharmaceuticals Raise funds for Sands by collecting stamps and foreign Alliance Pharmaceuticals chose Sands as their charity coins, normally left hiding at the back of a drawer. You of the year after staff nominated and voted for Sands. Alliance Pharmaceuticals originally had a fundraising could team up with friends, family or colleagues and collect target of £12,500 but, after our Corporate Fundraiser together. Or why not ask your local school, Post Office or visited their offices to give a presentation about our Sands Group to join in? Get in touch to find out more. work, they increased the target to £15,000 to highlight that every year in the UK, 15 babies die shortly before, during or soon after birth. Give as you Live To help them achieve this ambitious target, employees Give as you Live is an online Knit or crochet baby blankets of Alliance Pharmaceuticals organised various shopping scheme and Sadly, demand for our Always Loved, Never Forgotten fundraising events, from bake sales and an office tuck app that turns a portion of memory boxes remains constant and our stock of shop, to a sponsored bike ride from their offices in every purchase you make hand‑knitted or crocheted blankets needs to be Paris to their HQ in Chippenham. With support from a through the platform into dedicated account manager at Sands and crucially the maintained. These blankets are a very special part of funds for Sands, at no extra efforts of their staff, Alliance Pharmaceuticals raised an the box, bringing comfort to parents after the death of The sponsored bike ride from cost to you! incredible £30,000 after the company matched the staff’s Paris to Chippenham their baby. The simple pattern can be downloaded from fundraising efforts. You can sign up for free at giveasyoulive.com/join/sands our website or we can send it to you – just get in touch. or visit giveasyoulive.com/install to download the Alliance Pharmaceuticals CEO John Dawson said: “This Give As You Live shopping app. Please note that we only use white blankets in our was an outstanding fundraising effort for a deserving memory boxes. cause and an achievement for which we should all be justifiably proud. I have been absolutely amazed at the energies everyone has put into their fundraising, Give in memory both personally and in teams, and right across the Raising money in memory of a organisation. Equally amazing was the creativity that loved one can be a special way was applied to come up with so many different activities, to commemorate their life. It ranging from the physical to the cerebral to the culinary.” can also provide comfort to Discover more at Want to choose Sands as your those who know that their donations are going to help sands.org.uk/other-ways-to-raise charity of the year? others going through difficult times. You may wish to ask people attending the funeral or remembrance event of Contact us on 020 3897 3444 or your loved one to make donations to Sands instead of Make a donation or set up a regular corporate. [email protected] bringing flowers. gift to Sands at sands.org.uk/donate

24 I Spotlight on Sands Spotlight on Sands I 25 Bereavement support services Bereavement support services

Supporting non-medical Support for anyone affected professionals by the death of a baby More professionals come into contact with bereaved parents than you might realise. Doctors, nurses and midwives are an integral part of a bereaved parent’s experience. However registrars of births, marriages and deaths, funeral directors and other professionals also form part of the circle that parents have to encounter when their baby has died. Nicole Regan-White and family

Registrars have told us that they don’t know what to say to bereaved parents and that they feel uncomfortable Sands bereavement and ill‑prepared to cope with registering baby births and support app deaths. They meet bereaved parents at a time when their grief is very raw. Parents may be visibly distressed and in We are proud to announce that the Sands shock, so what may look on the outside like a necessity Bereavement Support App is here and free to can be a really traumatic experience. download on your smartphone or tablet. The app carries a wide range of information for anyone Sands has recognised the need for specialised affected by the death of a baby, including training and awareness-raising in these areas and parents, grandparents, siblings, employers has a dedicated member of staff who delivers talks to and health professionals. non‑medical audiences. The app has been in development for a while. Its These talks are useful to let registrars know that Sands journey started soon after Nicole Regan-White’s can support them through their experience of supporting baby daughter Jessica died. Nicole worked for parents, and that they can direct parents to Sands. Capco, a global management and technology company. Not long after Nicole returned to For similar reasons, we are starting to work closely with work, Capco ran a competition that encouraged the National Association of Funeral Directors (NAFD), its employees to nominate a charity that could whose website now has links to the Sands website and the benefit from the development of an app. Nicole In order to meet the needs of as many bereaved We are developing the use of Language Line on the app. We are planning awareness-raising talks with NAFD nominated Sands and won the competition. families as possible, we are continuing to Sands helpline and translating some of our printed members about how to use our memory boxes, and how materials in conjunction with our international partners diversify what we offer and how we offer it. to help parents and families create memories at funerals. An app will never replace human contact, and to support anyone affected by the death of a baby we know how valuable bereaved families have This year has seen the launch of our bereavement around the world. We are keen to build more partnerships like this to ensure found our helpline and online community. There support app to enable parents, families and that bereaved parents are able to access support and care Over the coming year, we will be refreshing and are times, however, when in the privacy of one’s professionals to find the information they need, at the from the medical and non-medical professionals they updating our information booklets and memory boxes, own space, a more discreet option for support time they need it. We will continue to develop this in meet following the death of their baby or babies. to ensure they provide the most up-to-date support for might be preferred. At Sands we recognise that response to feedback from users, new information everyone who needs it. one form of support does not fit everyone, and becoming available and as our resources increase. this is another step toward broadening our offering of bereavement support services. We Our telephone helpline is free to call from landlines and mobiles on 0808 164 3332, will continue to develop the app, to make it as responsive and helpful as possible. from 9.30am to 5.30pm Monday to Friday and 6pm to 10pm on Tuesday and Thursday. To learn more about how we You can also email [email protected] and find support in the Sands online community at provide bereavement support visit www.sands.community or via a UK-wide network of support groups with trained befrienders. sands.org.uk/support

26 I Spotlight on Sands Spotlight on Sands I 27 Stories and poems Stories and poems

Stories and poems Paint a smile in your grief I forgot by Jackie Ellerby by Dee Longhurst

At Sands we are often contacted by bereaved parents and families who would like to share a poem Paint a smile in your grief Paint a smile in your grief I forgot to think of you today. about their baby or their personal story with us. Here is a selection of the poems and stories we’ve And wear it every day All you have is memories And yesterday. received recently. Pretend like there is nothing wrong And sometimes it will hit you hard And perhaps the day before. And tell them you’re okay And beat you to your knees When someone asked me How many girls I have Paint a smile in your grief Paint a smile in your grief I told them three. And you will find in time Each moment you’re apart And I usually mean it’s four. People will ask “How are you?” No one can fill the gap that’s there Whenever I felt lonely I haven’t visited your grave for a while By Emily Neal And you’ll learn to say “I’m fine” Or the hole that’s in your heart Or wished that you were here. Paint a smile in your grief Whenever I felt lonely So I’ll look for you in rainbows Paint a smile in your grief Your headstone is looking slightly green You’ve met with your worst fears Fed up or feeling blue And in the starry sky at night Walk with your head held high And your flowers were eaten by deer. I’d rub my growing tummy Take comfort blowing dandelions Those passing faces on the street You came out on the other side I saw some yellow roses today And think of all the things we’d do Watching the seeds take flight Will not see through your lie Though different, filled with tears But I didn’t think of your death Like the first time we would see you And every time I walk barefoot Paint a smile in your grief Paint a smile in your grief I didn’t remember the sympathy cards And kiss your button nose Or paddle in the sea For there is not one other Don’t let them see you cry Or the messages that were left. And hold your tiny fingers and And feel the sand between my toes The strongest person you’ll They’ll never know how it feels I didn’t kiss your photo Count your little toes I’ll know that you’re with me ever meet To have to say goodbye Or caress your lock of hair. We’d cover you with kisses When the birds are singing Is a smiling, grieving mother. Paint a smile in your grief I didn’t dream of holding you Tend to your every need And the morning sky is blue You somehow must go on Or long to have you there. And Jake would tell you stories I’ll look for clouds and sun beams On days when you are feeling low And teach you how to read And I’ll always think of you I guess they call this ‘moving on’ Believe you can be strong I’d fill your bath with bubbles But I feel I am being unkind For Robin, I’m your mummy Make sure the water was just right Paint a smile in your grief My future awaits, our lives go on And I’ve known right from the start And dry you with a fluffy towel Your life will forever alter And I don’t want to leave you behind. I loved you more than words can say Then wrap you up so tight The person you were has I miss you now that I’ve remembered With each beat of my heart I’d gently rock you in the chair changed for good (I hadn’t forgotten you altogether) And since your heart stopped beating And hold you to my heart And some days your voice will falter I may not think of you every day Mine’s been filled with pain So you could hear the beat you knew But I love you now and forever. But it will beat for both of us Paint a smile in your grief Right from the very start Until we meet again. The hardest part isn’t saying goodbye These hopes and dreams were borrowed It’s having to learn to live without They were not meant to be And with all you have, you’ll try My broken heart is incomplete Since you’re not here with me Paint a smile in your grief I thought it was just perfect Keep strong and always calm I thought I was your home For they will never understand Share your poems and stories at The void that’s in your arms But now you are my angel sands.org.uk/shareyourstory And I am on my own

28 I Spotlight on Sands Spotlight on Sands I 29 Stories and poems Stories and poems

Our precious son, Altair Our triplet heartache by Shema Tariq by Catherine and Mike Blewitt

My waters broke on the tube on 8 June 2017. At our-eight week scan, myself and my husband found At Heartlands Hospital, where our babies were born, out we were having naturally conceived triplets, we we were provided amazing support by the Eden I was rushed into hospital and two days later our son, couldn’t believe it and were over the moon. We felt bereavement suite who has specially-trained midwives Altair, was stillborn at 21 weeks. Tiny but perfect in like the luckiest parents alive and I absolutely loved to support families like ourselves. One particular every way. This was my first pregnancy after years of my growing bump. We set up an Instagram page to midwife, Nicky, was amazing and she made amazing infertility, conceived on our fourth cycle of IVF. blog our story as we wanted to remember each step of memory boxes including, photographs, teddies, hand Despite having worked as a doctor for nearly 20 years, our journey. and footprints... our beautiful babies were allowed to many of those years working in research on women’s stay by our side in hospital due to the cuddle cots which Baby Altair's footprints Fast forward to our 20-week scan, everything was health, it never occurred to me that I might not get to help preserve the babies. perfect. Our babies were developing and growing take my baby home. exactly as they should be. Two days later, on 19 May, We stayed there for three nights and could make I went into pre-term labour, without knowing I was amazing memories with our babies, we could take them The grief of losing your child is unimaginable. You’re In the meantime, it’s important for me to share our actually in pre-term labour. We rang our hospital and to their special garden outside, read them stories, tell not only grieving the present, but a future that’s story and to end the silence around baby loss. It explained the pains I was having and they asked me to them about their mummy and daddy and enjoy time left unmade. A lifetime of milestones that will never happens. It’s tough. We need to find ways of talking go in to be on the safe side. The journey to the hospital together. While we were in the hospital, myself and my be reached. about it. was awful, it seemed to take forever and my sense of husband decided we wanted to raise money to provide On 10 June 2018, we celebrated the first anniversary of If our story can make one other person feel less panic was increasing. I asked my husband to drop me off the hospital with another cuddle cot as they only had Altair’s birth. We have managed to reach a place where alone, then it means that our son’s death was outside as I was in so much pain and knew I wouldn’t be two at this hospital. my husband Ian and I feel at peace. Joy has come back not meaningless. able to walk from the car park. into our lives. We have found a way to continue IVF and We decided to plough our energy into fundraising to hold on to hope. In memory of Altair Taylor, 10 June 2017. As I arrived I was feeling more and more pressure and help and support families like us in the future. In what was becoming increasingly scared as to what was has been the worst time of our life, this fundraising has happening. As soon as the doctor managed to get me given us the strength we need. into a room the first of three sets of waters broke. My Myself and my husband promised each other that we We miss our baby boy, Dylan husband still wasn’t with me as he was parking the would be open and talk about our feelings. We are so by Kate Sharp car, I will never forget the look of fear on his face when lucky to have amazing family and friends who are open he walked into the room to see me lying on the bed My partner Andy and I had our first child together, Our bereavement midwife gave us a memory box to talk to us about our beautiful babies. The Sands in labour. Finley, on 18 August 2015. Thirteen months later I was containing all of his tubes, the blanket he was lying on #FindingTheWords campaign is helping raise awareness pregnant again. in his incubator – still with his smell on – a lock of his I don’t know where it came from, but I got this that every baby should be talked about and it’s good to hair and his first tiny nappy. overwhelming strength which enabled me to be in be open and share how you are feeling. During our 20-week scan, we found out that one of our control during labour and deliver all three babies and all twins had a heart condition called Transposition of the The Liverpool Women’s Hospital have a chapel and three placentas myself. Jack, Lottie and Rosie were given Great Arteries. He was due to go for open heart surgery Reverend Anne came over to the Wirral to lead to me to hold as soon as they were born, their soft warm as soon as he was born. Dylan’s funeral. The work that goes on in this hospital skin is a feeling I will hold onto for the rest of my life. I is extraordinary. Unfortunately, our twins were born at 30 weeks by remember looking at them, they were perfect, nothing emergency c-section. Dylan was too small for the It has been so hard to cope with the grief and was wrong with them. Sadly, after about an hour and Discover more stories at operation and he passed away 16 hours after birth. happiness of a newborn, especially for Andy’s eldest a half they peacefully passed away in my arms. In one sands.org.uk/40stories son Ethan, nine, who has lost his baby brother. night we had lost our whole family, our precious babies The nurse who looked after Dylan was so kind, she However, by talking about Dylan, it helps us to and everything we had ever wanted had been taken stroked his head, talked to him, bathed him, took remember he is always a part of our family. away from us! We’d love to hear your thoughts on photos, and did hand and footprints. our magazine via our online survey surveymonkey.co.uk/r/spotlightonsands

30 I Spotlight on Sands Spotlight on Sands I 31 Sands Bereavement Support App for anyone affected by the death of a baby

Support for Making difficult Share your For families decisions story professionals

Support and information for bereaved parents and families

Information for healthcare professionals who would like to know how best to support bereaved parents

Download now

Visit www.sands.org.uk/app

©Sands 2018. Registered as a charity in England and Wales (299679) and in Scotland (SC042789). A company limited by guarantee registered in England and Wales number 2212082.