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Book & Lyrics by Bert Bernardi Music by Justin Rugg PRODUCTION SCRIPT www.stagerights.com THE BROTHERS GRIMM AND A SHOWGIRL Copyright © 2012 by Bert Bernard & Justin Rugg All Rights Reserved All performances and public readings of THE BROTHERS GRIMM AND A SHOWGIRL are subject to royalties. It is fully protected under the copyright laws of the United States of America, of all countries covered by the International Copyright Union, of all countries covered by the Pan-American Copyright Convention and the Universal Copyright Convention, and all countries with which the United States has reciprocal copyright relations. All rights are strictly reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form, by any means, including mechanical, electronics, recording, or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the author. Publication of this play does not necessarily imply that it is available for performance by amateurs or professionals. It is strongly recommended all interested parties apply to Steele Spring Stage Rights for performance rights before starting rehearsals or advertising. No changes shall be made in the play for the purpose of your production without prior written consent. All billing stipulations in your license agreement must be strictly adhered to. No person, firm or entity may receive credit larger or more prominent than that accorded the Author. For all stage performance inquiries, please contact: Steele Spring Stage Rights 3845 Cazador Street Los Angeles, CA 90065 (323) 739-0413 www.stagerights.com CAST OF CHARACTERS Cast Total: 4 – 1F, 3M JACOB GRIMM: The oldest, most practical and leader of the brothers. WILHELM GRIMM: Fun-loving “middle” brother. He’s along for the ride and enjoys every minute. GEORG GRIMM: The prankster and troublemaker. Youngest of the brothers. SHOWGIRL: A glamorous, sequined and feathered Marilyn Monroe-type. RUN TIME 70 Minutes MUSICAL NUMBERS ACT I #1 Das Book (Part 1) ............................................................................................ Company #2 Das Book (Part 2) ............................................................................................ Company #3 Fanfare: Deep, Dark Drama (tacet) ............................................................... Company #4 Fanfare: Theeeee End (tacet) ........................................................................ Company #5 Fanfare: Whackity-Schmackity-Doo! (tacet) .................................................. Company #6 Little Red, Das Musical Part 1: Who’s the Girl? .................................................................................... Company #7 Part 2: Slow Down, Little Girl .......................................................................... Company #8 Part 3: To Grandmother’s House ................................................................... Company #9 Part 4: Duet ..................................................................................................... Company #10 Little Red-citative ............................................................................................ Company #11 Part 5: Tap One Out ........................................................................................ Company #12 Fanfare: Mouse, Bird, Sausage (tacet) .......................................................... Company #13 Fanfare: Three Princesses (tacet) .................................................................. Company #14 Happy Ever After .............................................................................................. Company ACT II #15 Follow the Breadcrumbs ................................................................................. Company #16 Mrs. Gorton’s Fish Sticks Jingle (tacet) ......................................................... Company #17 Fishy Introduction Song .................................................................................. Company #18 You Can Always Have a Fish Stick ................................................................. Company THE BROTHERS GRIMM AND A SHOWGIRL – PRODUCTION SCRIPT 1 ACT I The lights dim. Silence. Offstage, voices are heard. WILHELM Have the lights gone out? JACOB The lights have gone out. It is completely dark. As black as the night in a hooded cape. GEORG Stop it, you’re scaring me. JACOB What are we waiting for? We must start the show! WILHELM Are you sure the lights are out all the way?? JACOB If the lights were out any further, they’d be on. Come— to the stage. GEORG Do we have to? I’ll just wait here. WILHELM Wait for what? GEORG For the lights to come on. JACOB We will all enter the stage on the count of three. ALL THREE Eins, zwei, drei! The three MEN enter the stage. They march in and circle the stage. JACOB and WILHELM stop and take their place. GEORG continues to march and exits. JACOB Where’s he going? Where did he go? WILHELM He left. JACOB I know he left. We just got here and he… Georg. Georg! Where did you go?? GEORG (OFFSTAGE) I’m right here. In the back. JACOB Well get out the back and get back to the front. We’re ready to begin. GEORG But there’s people out there! 2 THE BROTHERS GRIMM AND A SHOWGIRL – PRODUCTION SCRIPT WILHELM He’s referring to das audience. JACOB Well of course das audience. GEORG You never said anything about das audience. JACOB But of course… there always is das audience!! Wilhelm, go back there and get Georg. WILHELM Me? Why me? JACOB Because he is your brother! WILHELM He’s your brother too. JACOB Go get him so we can begin. WILHELM I have to do everything. I’m the maid. He exits. WILHELM and GEORG are heard offstage. WILHELM Come with me. GEORG I don’t want to! WILHELM You must go on the stage! GEORG I’m not going! WILHELM You will! GEORG I won’t. WILHELM You will! GEORG I won’t!!… I’m going on the stage. WILHELM enters, carrying GEORG. WILHELM He is now on the stage. THE BROTHERS GRIMM AND A SHOWGIRL – PRODUCTION SCRIPT 3 JACOB I see that. Put him down. Now we are all here and they are all here and soon the music will play and the show will begin and all of this will happen on the count of three! ALL THREE Eins, zwei, drei! SONG #1: DAS BOOK (PART ONE) JACOB Where’s das book? WILHELM Das book? Georg was holding it. JACOB I know! Where is das book? Music plays. GEORG What das book do you mean? JACOB DAS BOOK, DAS BOOK DAS BIG, BIG BOOK THE ONE WITH ALL THE STORIES THAT WE TELL WE NEED EACH AND EVERY PAGE TO MAKE A SHOW UP ON THE STAGE LET’S FIND IT OR I WON’T BE FEELING WELL GEORG DAS BOOK, DAS BOOK?? DAS BIG, BIG BOOK I THINK I KNOW THE ONE YOU SPEAK ABOUT IT’S THE ONE WITH ALL THE WRITING WHICH I KNOW YOU’LL FIND EXCITING BUT IT’S NOT HERE SO WE MUST DO WITHOUT JACOB We can’t do without it… we must have das book!! WILHELM After all, I wrote all the stories. JACOB You mean, I… wrote all the stories. WILHELM I wrote them down, you just watched. GEORG You may have written them down. But they were all my stories to begin with. 4 THE BROTHERS GRIMM AND A SHOWGIRL – PRODUCTION SCRIPT JACOB I wrote the stories! WILHELM I wrote the stories!! GEORG I wrote the stories!!! ALL You??? Hah!!!! (singing) I WROTE THE STORIES OF PEOPLE AND PLACES AND THINGS I’M THE ONE WHO WROTE ABOUT DAMSELS, DISTRESSES, GIRLS IN WHITE DRESSES, WOLVES AND WITCHES, GOLDEN STITCHES, ORPHANS, BREADCRUMBS, QUEENS AND KINGS GEORG Did you ever hear the one about the Mouse, the Bird and the Sausage? WILHELM DAS BOOK, DAS BOOK DAS BIG BIG BOOK WITHOUT IT HERE WE CANNOT DO THE SHOW LET’S GET OUT AND CATCH A TRAIN AND TO YOU AUF WIEDERSEHEN WE’RE SORRY BUT WE SIMPLY HAVE TO GO JACOB And so das audience, we sadly leave you. WILHELM In the middle of the opening number. JACOB In the middle of the opening… it’s not the middle of the opening number, it’s the end of the opening number. Thanks to Georg not having das book. GEORG If you ask me, we really don’t need das book. JACOB Wait, wait, wait right there. Cut the music!!! Music stops. What do you mean we do not need das book??? GEORG We can skip das book and instead, I could do my nightclub routine! I have this song… JACOB Never mind your nightclub routine. We need das book to tell the stories! THE BROTHERS GRIMM AND A SHOWGIRL – PRODUCTION SCRIPT 5 GEORG But we know the stories. We wrote them. You did… he did… I did. We know these stories by heart!!!! JACOB Auswendig?? GEORG Sure. If you say so. WILHELM That means “by heart” in German. Auswendig. GEORG And I knew that!!! Jacob… Wilhelm. What do you say do the show without das book. Das audience will never know! After all, we’re in [insert name of town or city]. WILHELM He’s right. They’ll never know! JACOB ponders this for a moment. JACOB But what about the new story???? We have come here on this very day to tell everyone our brand new story. We barely know that one at all. GEORG We’ll… we’ll make it up as we go along. JACOB Dare we? WILHELM Dare we?? GEORG We dare!!! We shall do the show without das book! On the count of three… Music plays. SONG #2: DAS BOOK (PART TWO) ALL THREE Eins, zwei, drei! DAS BOOK, DAS BOOK WHO REALLY NEEDS DAS BOOK? WE’LL TELL TO YOU OUR STORIES ANYWAY WE’LL PLAY OUT ALL THE PARTS FROM THE BOTTOM OF OUR HEARTS IT’S THE SHOW WE’LL DO TODAY JACOB WITH ME… 6 THE BROTHERS GRIMM AND A SHOWGIRL – PRODUCTION SCRIPT WILHELM AND ME… GEORG WITH ME AND HIM AND HIM ALL THREE WE’LL TELL YOU ALL THE STORIES OF THE BROTHERS GRIMM As they hold out the final note, a SHOWGIRL enters. She buttons the number with her line. SHOWGIRL And a showgirl! She hits her “final pose” bows and exits. The BROTHERS are a bit confused. JACOB What was that?? Did you see that… that… WILHELM I saw that… that. JACOB Who is she? GEORG She’s a showgirl. Did you get a load of her… feathers. WILHELM And those shiny things. And that hat thing… GEORG And those feathers. JACOB What is she doing here? WILHELM Maybe she comes with the room. JACOB Where did she go??? WILHELM She went in the back. GEORG In the back. Yes. I think I’m going in the back too.
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