DOCTOR DOLITTLE Inspired by ’s THE STORY OF

Book and Lyrics by Mark St. Germain Music and Lyrics by RandyCopy Courts

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(UNDERSCORING;

LIGHTS UP on young COLIN LOFTING stretched out on the floor playing with his toy tank.

His MOTHER, FLORA, enters )

FLORA Colin?

COLIN Look out! (COLIN makes the sound of an EXPLOSION; FLORA jumps) They almost got us! I saved your life.

FLORA Thank you. So now that we’re both safe, why don’t you stop blowing up your bedroom and write a letter to your father instead?

COLIN Do I have to? Copy

FLORA He’s fighting a real War, Colin. He wants to hear from you!

COLIN But he never tells me about the fighting, no matter how much I ask! All he ever writes is 'Dear Son; Get good grades and do your chores! That’s what he cares about. Not me.

FLORA Colin. Would you like to write your father or clean your room?

(COLIN sits down immediately)

PerusalCOLIN "Dear Father". FLORA Thank you.

(SHE EXITS)

COLIN

3 “I hope you’re having a good time shooting rifles, exploding grenades and blowing up tanks.”

(LIGHTS UP ON LOFTING, WRITING)

LOFTING “Dear Son, I hope you're doing your homework and your chores.”

COLIN AAAGHHH!

(COLIN STORMS OFF.

SOUND OF EXPLOSION; LIGHTS UP ON SOLDIERS AS LOFTING JOINS THEM IN THE TRENCHES)

PETERS Lieutenant! Here comes Banks on horseback!

LOFTING Wilson! Cover him! BANKS! OVER HERE! (To PETERS) Help me pull him in! (PETERS and LOFTING step out of view;Copy pulls BANKS in) Are you hit?

BANKS No; but my horse is.

(The CAPTAIN enters)

CAPTAIN Banks; did you bring back ammunition?

BANKS Sorry, Captain. No supplies came in. But I have orders for you.

(The CAPTAIN opens his orders; the MEN look at each other, apprehensive)Perusal

CAPTAIN Fall in! (Men line up) I have word the enemy is preparing a siege at dawn. So that we have the advantage of surprise, Lt. Lofting will be leading you

4 into combat as soon as I get the command. Lofting, take charge.

LOFTNG Sir.

CAPTAIN And Wilson; put the animal out of its misery.

(The CAPTAIN hands WILSON a GUN and EXITS)

LOFTING It’s not fair, is it? We make these animals go to war with us but when they’re wounded we do nothing for them.

WILSON What do you expect us to do? Ask him what hurts?

PETERS He might talk to a jackass.

WILSON I’ll show you who’s - Copy LOFTING Stop it. Both of you. Isn’t there enough fighting for you? Wilson; you were given an order.

WILSON Yes, Sir.

(LOFTING TAKES OUT PAD AND PENCIL)

LOFTING Dear Flora, Cannon shots all evening. Yesterday we lost three good men, and today our company woke up with lice and flooded trenches.

Perusal(LIGHTS UP ON FLORA)

FLORA So write Colin that! He thinks war is some grand adventure where if you're shot down you simply stand your soldiers up again.

LOFTING He’s a boy. He shouldn’t know these things until he’s grown.

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FLORA But does he have to grow up on his own? He misses you. Let him know how much you miss him. Until later, then. Colin’s read all the books I got him last week and I’m off for more stories. Love; remember that word? “L-O-V-E, Your Flora”

LOFTING A story. Now that’s a thought.

PETERS I’m wet up to my knees in these trenches.

LOFTING A story might be just what the Doctor ordered.

BANKS These puddles are turning into marshes.

LOFTING (HE thinks) “Puddles and Marshes”. (Writes) Once upon a time, in the town of PuddlebyCopy On Marsh, there was a Doctor. His name was Doctor John-

(SOUND OF SHOT: WILSON has shot the HORSE)

LOFTING (CONT.) (Pause) Do Little, M.D. ‘M.D.’ means he was a Marvelous Doctor, and whenever he walked down the street in his high hat everyone would say, ‘There goes the Doctor! He’s a clever man!”

(PETERS looks over LOFTING’S SHOULDER, READS)

PETER’S Who’s so ‘clever”?

PerusalLOFTING (Writing) Everyone thought so except his Sister, Sarah.

(PETER CHANGES INTO SARAH DOLITTLE)

SONG: DR. DOLITTLE - SARAH & ALL

SARAH: HE’S A MAN WHO THINKS NOTHING OF MONEY

6 A PHYSICIAN WHO FORGETS TO CHARGE A FEE ALL HE CARES FOR ARE HIS PETS WHO ARE DROWNING US IN DEBTS TELL ME JUST WHAT SORT OF A MAN INVITES A TURTLE IN FOR TEA?

(WILSON, BANKS, & CAPTAIN ENTER AND HELP LOFTING PUT ON DOLITTLE COAT AND CRAVAT)

HE’S A MAN WHO’S INDIFFERENT TO FASHION WITH NO PATIENCE FOR THE BEST SOCIETY BUT TO HEAR A MOO OR BARK HE’S AS HAPPY AS A LARK THEN HE WHISTLES AS HE JOINS THEM IN A TREE POOR JOHN DOLITTLE ALL: DR. DOLITTLE DR. DOLITTLE

SARAH DOLITTLE Mentally Deficient!

ALL: MD Copy (LIGHTS UP on FLORA LOFTING, READING HIS LETTER; COLIN LISTENING)

FLORA Colin! A letter from your Father! Wait; I think it’s a story!

COLLIN (Reads) “Doctor Dolittle”?

FLORA “The Doctor had a beautiful parrot who was certain she knew everything.” I like that.

PerusalCOLIN Let me read! LOFTING “Polynesia, in fact, was his favorite companion”.

(FLORA transforms into POLYNESIA)

POLYNESIA/FLORA

7 “Of course I’m his favorite”.

COLIN “The Parrot said”.

POLYNESIA The Doctor’s nearly as intelligent as I am.

SARAH: HE’S A MAN WHO HAS HOLES IN HIS STOCKINGS

POLYNESIA Blah - blah.

SARAH: AND HIS TROUSERS NEED A PATCHING AS YOU SEE

POLYNESIA: HE LOVES CREATURES OF ALL KINDS EVERY ANIMAL HE FINDS IS A WELCOME GUEST OF HONOR IN HIS HOME MENAGERIE

(SARAH ARGUES WITH POLYNESIA)

SARAH: HE HAS LOST ALL OF THE SENSECopy HE WAS BORN WITH HE WOULD TAKE A TIGER’S TONSILS OUT FOR FREE NO HE WOULDN’T SHOO A FLY LANDING ON HIS FAVORITE PIE HE WOULD OFFER IT THE NAPKIN ON MY KNEE

POOR JOHN DOLITTLE ODD JOHN DOLITTLE POLYNESIA: DR. DOLITTLE

SARAH Hmphh!

ALL: M.D.

Perusal(SARAH TURNS ON DOLITTLE)

SARAH: YOU PUT PIGLETS IN THE PARLOR LOFTING: THEY’RE ALLERGIC TO THE HAY SARAH: AND THE CHICKENS IN THE PANTRY? LOFTING: WELL, THEY NEED A PLACE TO LAY POLYNESIA: FLOCKS OF GEESE LIVE IN THE ATTIC AND THEY’RE REALLY QUITE ECSTATIC

8 SARAH: THERE ARE MICE IN THE PIANO LOFTING: BUT THEY’RE LEARNING HOW TO PLAY!

(LIGHTS UP on COLIN, READING. LOFTING/DOLITTLE looks across stage at THE CAPTAIN , brushing off his BUTTONS)

COLIN AThe Squire was a large man with many buttons but little patience.”

(The CAPTAIN enters as the SQUIRE)

SQUIRE Doctor! I’ve been waiting over an hour!

DR. DOLITTLE I’m sorry, Squire. I stopped to teach the Parson’s puppy how to wag his tale properly. (Turns to show the SQUIRE by moving his own tail) The poor dog was waving up and down, rather than side to side.

SQUIRE I don’t care about the dog! (SITS) My headCopy is splitting!

DR. DOLITTLE Perhaps you should shout less.

SQUIRE Nonsense! And the pains in my bottom? What’s causing that?

DR. DOLITTLE Quite simple, Squire. You’re sitting on a Hedgehog.

(The SQUIRE jumps up)

SQUIRE This is criminal! Perusal

DR. DOLITTLE (Picks up the PUPPET HEDGEHOG) Not at all; you didn’t hurt him.

SQUIRE Good day, Sir! I will not be back!

9 (SQUIRE storms past SARAH, who’s returned)

SARAH DOLITTLE Squire! Wait!

DR. DOLITTLE Let him go, Sarah.

SARAH DOLITTLE They’re all leaving you! If you go on like this none of the best people will have you as a Doctor!

DR. DOLITTLE That’s all right. I like Animals better than the best people.

SARAH: BROTHER JOHN, YOU MUST REACH A DECISION CHOOSE BETWEEN THE MAN OR BEAST YOU’D LIKE TO BE FOR DESPITE MY TIES TO YOU I WILL NOT LIVE IN A ZOO SAY GOODBYE TO THEM OR SAY GOOD BYE TO ME

POLYNESIA Copy Goodbye! (SARAH STORMS OUT)

DR. DOLITTLE Sarah, wait!

(DOLITTLE’S TOP HAT IS PASSED DOWN THE LINE OF CHARACTERS AS SONG FINISHES)

POLYNESIA: OUR DOLITTLE ALL: ODD JOHN DOLITTLE POOR JOHN DOLITTLE STRANGE JOHN DOLITTLE DR. DOLITTLE DOLITTLE: THAT’S ME Perusal (DOLITTLE PUTS ON TOP HAT)

POLYNESIA I’m glad she’s gone! Every day it’s ruffled feathers!

(LIGHTS UP ON COLIN, READING)

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