Naomi's Breakthrough Guide 20 Choices to Transform Your Life By ; Simon and Schuster Paperbacks, 2004

BOOK OF THE WEEK: In Naomi's Breakthrough Guide: downs, this book will show you 20 Choices to Transform Your how to focus on your ultimate Life, you will learn how a self- goal, know forgiveness, trust your proclaimed expert at making intuition, embrace risk, free your mistakes changed her life, and body and mind from worry, and attained life's greatest reward: resign as the General Manager of peace of mind. Through her the Universe. She does this by honesty, wit, and genuine blending candid personal stories generosity of spirit, the author and practical exercises with shares with you in this book her anecdotes about well-known hard-won wisdom and lessons friends and family, which she that transformed her life for the further bolsters with the wisdom better, and helped her turn of experience as well as cutting- potential breakdowns into life- edge research on health and the altering breakthroughs. psychology of happiness.

Filled with the wisdom of a woman who survived and thrived read the summary from life's dramatic ups and

INSIDE THIS SUMMARY: – The Big Idea – The 20 Choices to transform your life

Published by BestSummaries.com, 3001-91, 11010 NW 30th St., Suite 104, Miami, Florida 33172 © 2007 BestSummaries.com. All rights reserved. No part of this summary may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, photocopying, or otherwise, without prior notice of BestSummaries.com. Choice # 1: Peace of Mind Is the Goal better if you don't change the way you think about a problem. In order for you to get different results, People from all walks of life want the same thing you first have to change your thinking. No matter peace of mind. Peace of mind is not the absence of what's happened in the past, do not forget that you problems; it comes from your ability to deal with have the power to change what an experience them. It is both the first and ultimate choice that you means to you. Herein lies the potential for healing. will make in this journey of self-discovery and self- awareness.

Choosing to have peace of mind entails that you Choice # 3: Life Is a Series of understand more of yourself, and what is standing in the way of your happiness and health. This Multiple-Choice Questions involves an opening of your eyes to the truth that is Dr. M. Scott Peck says in The Road Less Traveled all around you. Likewise, you should also strive to that people must realize that the entirety of their open your heart and mind to what really matters to adult life is a series of personal choices before you. Only when you consciously choose a better they are to be healed. Once they come to this way of relating to yourself and to others will you realization, then they become free; otherwise, attract more of what you desire, and discover they will forever remain victims. brand-new opportunities. Similarly, by understanding and accepting that your life is the sum of all the choices, good or bad, which you have made. No matter how trapped you Choice # 2: Change Your Mind, Change might feel in any given moment, you have the power to choose how to react to those Your World circumstances. Keep in mind that God gave Most people can't know or don't take time to think humans free will that is, he gave you about the effects of a major change in their lives. It opportunities to make choices. just happens. The saving grace, though, is that they can always get to decide what meanings to attach to Figuring Out What You Don't Want Helps You every change, good or bad, that happens to them. Make Better Choices Frequently, the only thing to do is to hang on tight Realizing what you don't want in your life can often and trust that the meaning will reveal itself later. help you see what you're supposed to do. This awareness involves looking at your core values As soon as you seek meaning in a challenge, and the choices that you have been making so far. instead of just crumbling away and closing yourself If there is a huge discrepancy between the in your room, you give yourself the power to choices that you have made and your true values, change. Remember, nothing in your life will get take heed and start re-aligning your life with your values. And even though emotional baggage from the past may bog you down, don't lose sight of the fact that you can choose to discard these ABOUT THE BOOK: unhealthy burdens in your life.

Choice # 4: You Can Reverse Any Curse Author: Naomi Judd Experience is what you get when you fail to get Publisher: Simon and Schuster what you wanted. It doesn't really matter if you fail, Paperbacks as long as you learn something from your failure. Date of Publication: 2004 ISBN : 0-7432-3663-7 As George Lucas, creator and director of Star No. of Pages: 276 pages Wars, says, “It's OK to lose; just don't lose the lesson.”

Learn to Sleep Well by Chris Idzikowski 2 of 8 Mistakes are a crucial part of one's evolution amygdala, receives information first and causes towards maturity. It's not what happens to you people to have an emotional response before the that counts; it's what you do with it that does. intellect, the neocortex, can get a chance to Once you realize this, you're on your way to respond to it. This is why you often can't control reversing the “curse” of your mistake-riddled your emotionality. It happens automatically. and horrible past. But hey, if you keep making the same mistake, it's time for you to really think In addition, many of your emotional reactions deep and hard of what's wrong in you. originate from some biological pattern created back when you were a child. For instance, people To begin reversing the curse, start off by who grew up with domineering and threatening questioning yourself how you got into that fix in mothers tend to respond defensively to women. the first place. The more you discover the Thus, once they see a “woman” their brain reasons behind your predicament, and the instinctively turns on the “Be Afraid” program. more you get to know yourself, the more illuminated your path will become. Then, you'll The good news is that you can regulate your begin to see options and solutions that seemed emotions by understanding how they originated. concealed before. The trick is to identify the pattern behind a particular emotional reaction. This engages the Bear in mind that it takes courage to make life- neocortex, and makes you objectively view a altering changes in your life. If you're in pain situation and see it for what it really is. This allows and feel scared, take comfort in the assurance you to respond appropriately and healthily. Once that it's part of the growing up process. In the you become more aware of your emotions and end, you'll not only change your life for the their triggers, you'll be able to make wise and better, but you'll also earn self-respect. better choices, and thus, improve your life.

Choice # 5: You Can Be Anything Choice # 6: Become a Detective, and You Want, but First You Have to Investigate Your Past Understand What's Standing in One crucial step towards personal transformation is to look at your past, and determine how it Your Way shaped your personality and your perceptions. Before you can move forward from a bad For the beliefs that you hold today are often the experience, you need to see and understand result of your own unique memories and what's standing in your way. Emotional experiences. catalysts, past pain, and buried trauma can influence how you feel and react to present As an adult, the more you become aware of your circumstances. More often than not, it can even childhood, the more you can choose to separate direct you to make poor choices in from that early imprinting, considering that it's the relationships, finances, career, and in the other appropriate thing to do. In so doing will you be able vital areas of your life because bad to get a grip on how early influences affected the experiences can cloud your judgment and way you lived your life, and thus enable you to affect your emotions. This is the reason why it is make different choices. Remember, you can't essential to figure out what emotionally choose the family you're born into, but you can charged issues are keeping you back. take responsibility for the choices that you make later in your life. Emotion, Not Intellect, Drives All Behavior (Until We Become Conscious) Daniel Goldman, author of Emotional Choice # 7: Personality: It's All Intelligence, says that people have two minds: one that thinks, and one that feels. Simply put, Relative the emotional part of the brain, called the It's only natural for you to expect members in your family to think and act like you do, but that's just

Learn to Sleep Well by Chris Idzikowski 3 of 8 not the way things work. You may not be aware Your strengths refer to the ways of thinking that you of this, but birth order has immense influence in bring to a given situation, while your passions your memories, experiences, and personality. those that you love to do serve as outlets for your strengths. So, the more passionate you are about a Understand the dynamics created by birth order job or project, the more fun you'll have along the on your relationships and perceptions. This can way, and the more likely you are to succeed. Most give you a greater understanding of how you and the other members of your family tick, especially your siblings. Moreover, this can shed light on old subconscious patterns and images of your family, as well as grant you the freedom to let go ABOUT THE AUTHOR: of hang-ups. "I'm a communicator," says Naomi Judd, "whether I'm expressing Furthermore, it's likely that you and your siblings myself through writing a song or a will outlive your folks. Hence, you should work on book or I am singing, acting, establishing a close and lifelong friendship with speaking at an engagement or them, if you haven't already. You will never be even chatting one-on-one with a stranger on the street. Finding a whole unless you resolve sibling issues from the way to share our common past. experiences is my grand passion."

Naomi first expressed this passion of communication as half of Choice # 8: Know Forgiveness, 's most famous mother/daughter team, . There, she also first captured national attention Know Peace No Forgiveness, No during the duo's meteoric rise. Their popularity earned them 20 top 10 hits (including 15 #1s) and kept them undefeated Peace for eight consecutive years at all three major country music Learning to forgive yourself and others is the awards shows. In addition, the duo won 5 Grammys and a most liberating breakthroughs you can have. By vast array of other awards and honors. As a songwriter, letting go of the toxic emotions that are dragging Naomi also won a Grammy for "Country Song of the Year" with the Judds' smash hit "." you down, you'll know peace. In 1991, after selling over 20 million albums and videos in a Forgiveness Isn't an Emotion, It's a Decision mere seven years and at the pinnacle of their phenomenal Forgiveness is all about you choosing to free career, The Judds' reign came to an abrupt end. Naomi was diagnosed with Hepatitis C, a potentially fatal chronic liver yourself from whatever grudge, hurt, pain, or disease that forced her retirement. Their duet ended on a visions of revenge that may be dragging you high note when their "Farewell" tour was the top grossing act down. Those who do not forgive are the ones and their farewell concert was the most successful musical who are least capable of changing their lives. To event in cable pay-per view history. deny yourself and other forgiveness is to allow With unwavering optimism and characteristic inner strength, yourself to be imprisoned by the past and be Naomi stepped out of the spotlight to explore paths that have controlled by others. led to new successful endeavors. Today, she is completely cured of the Hepatitis C virus and uses the strength of her own experiences as spokesperson for the America Liver What's more, by forgiving yourself and others, Foundation. In 1991, Naomi created the Naomi Judd you empower yourself to exorcise the demons Education and Research Fund, using her household name from your past, and allows you to open up and and personal time to raise invaluable awareness of the become more compassionate. This is turn helps deadly Hepatitis C virus as well as research funds for the American Liver Foundation. improve your well-being and happiness. Though her creativity continues to flow through music and writing, today Naomi also expresses her energy on humanitarian activities, social issues and personal growth education. Her natural ability to act as a translator between Choice # 9: Your Strengths and academic communities and everyday people makes her a Passions Are the Essence of truly unique figure. .To know more about the author, please visit: Your Happiness http://www.naomijudd.com. Your strengths and passions are closely linked.

Learn to Sleep Well by Chris Idzikowski 4 of 8 of all, this means better health in spirit, mind, and longer. They also attract other colorful people to body. their lives, are driven to keep moving forward, and are continuously growing as individuals. Thus, you should start identifying your strengths and passions, and build your life around them. Don't However, you need to be risking toward focus any more on trying to build up your something a goal, a dream, or the fulfillment of a weaknesses. Shift your focus, and build on your heart's desire. Otherwise, it would be strong areas instead. Only in identifying what you meaningless to take a risk in the first place. This is love and are good at will you be able to move forward why it's important to discover your passion and along that path that you were meant to be on. your deepest dreams. When you do, you'll be motivated and souped-up enough to take chances. Remember, when you choose to take risks, you are exhibiting faith in yourself and on Choice # 10: Intuition Is Your Secret your abilities to make your dreams come true. Guidance System Intuition is that part that serves as your inner compass (you could think of it as your own inner Choice # 12: You've Got to Love North Star to guide you on your journey). It's one of the most powerful, yet most underused of resources. that Person in the Mirror It can help assist you emotionally, physically, and Before you can expect to be loved, you must first spiritually. It can also help you decide whether a learn to love yourself. Your relationship with person, job, move, or treatment is right for you, yourself is the most basic and crucial one. In most despite what anyone may say or even if it goes cases, the person you choose to fall in love with is against “logic.” Moreover, it helps create synergy in literally a reflection of how much you love, or do your life. Above all, you can trust your intuition not love, yourself. Until you realize this, you'll only completely because it always has your best interest end up attracting the wrong people in your life. at heart. Start by cultivating a healthy self-esteem. In so Take time to tune in to your intuition; although this doing, you'll attract all the good things in life may not come easy, especially in light of today's health, wealth, good relationships, and even demanding and hectic way of life. You could start by longevity. spending a few minutes of each day in solitude. Solitude can refresh your soul, and allow time for your Self-esteem is a measurement of how well you inner voice to be heard by you. By tuning in to your feel about yourself, and how well you appreciate intuition at the start of your day, you will become and value yourself. It also acts as a buffer against aware of the full panoply of subtle clues floating those that could cause anxiety and depression. through your subconscious mind, until it registers onto your conscious mind. However, merely listening Though you may tend to have a set self-esteem to those intuitive hints is useless. You must also act point developed early in your life, your self- on them. esteem actually fluctuates over time as you constantly measure yourself against past successes and achievements.

The Internal Locus of Control vs. The External Choice # 11: Risk Allows You to Locus of Control Become Who You Were Meant to Be People who possess an “internal locus of control” are masters of their own fates. They tend to have Following your dream can be risky. Nonetheless, high and stable self-esteems. In contrast, people choosing not to follow it is risking becoming a zombie who have an “external locus of control” are people that lives a life devoid of dreams. Researchers in with low self-esteems and who constantly see psychology have proven that risk takers who follow themselves as victims of their circumstances. their dreams are happier, more productive, and live Moreover, they feel unworthy and they don't take

Learn to Sleep Well by Chris Idzikowski 5 of 8 responsibility for their lives. This makes them feel optimism. Gratitude shifts your concentration stuck and helpless, and they constantly blame away from what's not working to what's going right others for their misfortunes. in your life.

What people with low self-esteem don't or can't More importantly, do not let your own mind berate realize is that they can break this cycle of you. Researchers say that people who engage in helplessness by consciously seeing themselves as negative self-talk drag their spirits and their masters of their own fates. As soon as they choose to immune systems down. What's more, negative take control of their lives, they'll soon get more out of self-talk is a form of verbal self-abuse. You only life. Furthermore, as their self-esteem improves, end up angry, dejected, and content with a life they will feel that what's on the inside is more devoid of love and happiness. meaningful than whatever is on the outside. Ultimately, the more they accept and understand that inner happiness is more important than external looks or the fleeting happiness that material things give. Choice # 14: Your Mind Is in Every Cell of Your Body The mind is the body's control tower. Every time you think or experience a feeling, your mind tells Choice # 13: You Become Whatever the brain to release chemicals that then flow throughout the body. This cascade of molecules of You Think About All Day emotions flows through the bloodstream, then Words can create or destroy. They hold the power to binds at receptor sites on the organs. get what you want, and to help you let go of what you don't. They reflect your inner world to your outer In the same vein, unresolved issues and events world. from your past are encoded on a cellular level throughout your body. Anytime you repress Take the case of Muhammad Ali. He used the power negative emotions, such as anger and blame, of the spoken word to his mental and physical they become toxins that get distributed advantage. He kept declaring himself as “The throughout your entire system. So, if you keep Greatest” over and over. He believed in himself, and neglecting and ignoring unpleasant emotions and spoke those words out loud. He didn't tell people that experiences, the body will absorb and take over he was “almost the greatest” or that he was expressing them. This is similar to being “probably the greatest.” His inner belief manifested emotionally constipated. outwardly, and he proved he was a champ. What this means is that what goes on in your head Nevertheless, think twice before you speak for your affects not only your chances of success and words have the power to build you up or tear you peace of mind, but your health as well. It's not down mentally, emotionally, and physically. Avoid surprising then that positive thoughts and happy gossiping, lying, swearing, and cursing. emotions boost the body's immune system; whereas negative thoughts, on the other hand, I Think, Therefore I Am diminish it. Hence, it's critical to identify and Start talking positively about yourself and your life. release those negative, toxic thoughts from your Creating positive expectations is a habit you can mind. start right now. You could tell yourself as you wake in the morning that you're going to have a better experience, your attitude shifts accordingly. Bear in Choice # 15: Worry and Fear Are mind that there is really no wrong side of the bed it's all in your head. Dispensable Parasites on Your Brain Similarly, practicing gratefulness is a proven way to Do not allow worry and fear to cloud your thinking, reinforce a positive outlook. This is called retroactive especially when you're making serious decisions.

Learn to Sleep Well by Chris Idzikowski 6 of 8 Worry is pain about the present, while fear is the pain about the future. Worrying never gets you Choice # 17: Find a New, anywhere. Conversely, fear is the greatest, single most inhibitor of the human spirit. Stronger Life Urge Understand that suffering comes from Whatever challenges you are facing, change the experiencing pains. Pain is inevitable in life; way you look at them, and become proactive in suffering, however, is not. One way to rise above addressing your worries. When something is sufferings is to find purpose through them. Once worrying you, pause and then replace your worries you do, you not only come to accept the changes with actions that negate or solve the issue. that are happening, but you also get to transcend them. In case your worry involves a phobia, expose yourself to the fear and continuously perform the Purpose is found when you understand your gifts necessary action to confront the fear until the and passions as well as the things that matters phobia is gone. Remember, there are always most to you, notwithstanding the sufferings in things in your life that you need to worry about and your life. Once you understand your purpose, fear. However, you have the power to decide which mission, or reason for living, you then start ones are the real threats and which ones are not. making better choices.

One effective way to eliminate worry and fear is To help you live out your purpose, try writing a through meditation. Current research on personal mission statement everyday. A mission meditation claims that it actually changes your statement helps identify your priorities, and inclination to feel negative emotions like fear and points you in the direction that you wish to go to. It worry. It also enables you to feel positive emotions also helps you decide what to add or subtract like hope, optimism, and gratitude more. from your daily activities, so that you can come closer to fulfilling your mission.

Choice # 16: Resign as General Choice # 18: You and I May Not Manager of the Universe Have It All Together, but Together While it's important to strive for personal We Can Have It All excellence, you really don't have to be perfect. The reward of friendship is one of life's greatest Henry James once said: “Excellence does not gifts. This is especially true in times of crises. require perfection.” In fact, it's the imperfections More often than not, a strong support system that make you unique and real. Besides, striving for comprised of people who really love you goes a perfection will only stand in the way of your long way in improving your mental, emotional, happiness. and physical well-being. Do away with the notion that you need to be in To illustrate, research has shown that women charge of everything. Embracing such belief only who feel alone and isolated are more likely to harms your relationships, your self-esteem, and succumb to breast and ovarian cancer several your health because of the associated stress from times the normal, expected rate. Likewise, worrying so much. studies show that rehabs count on group support to help patients make a healthier change in their Moreover, when you place everyone else's needs lives. above your own, you only send out signals that you consider your innate values to be of lesser worth. Hence, establishing emotional boundaries will help you protect and define your individuality and character.

Learn to Sleep Well by Chris Idzikowski 7 of 8 someone more by your attentive silence than by Choice # 19: Develop the Eight trying to top off their stories. Moreover, listening Characteristics of a Survivor well will grant you insights into your own Personality behavior, and foster mutual respect, not to mention a significant decrease in the tension Survivors of emotional, physical, or that you feel. circumstantial difficulties all display eight specific characteristics, namely: 1. A strong spiritual belief; 2. A strong support system; 3. A sense of humor; 4. A connection to nature; 5. Having goals firmly in mind; 6. Good nutrition; 7. Getting regular exercise and rest; and, 8. Adopting an open belief system.

In any event, bear in mind that there can always be healing, but there may not always be a cure. By developing a survivor personality, you will become “whole” and at peace even if faced by a debilitating or terminal illness. Ultimately, what matters is how much life is there in your life; not how long you'll live.

Choice # 20: the Giver as well as the Receiver Service is the work of the soul. It pays psychic dividends. When you reach out to others in distress, you'll see your own blessings more clearly.

When you give to others, you also give to yourself. In fact, a group of Michigan researchers who discovered that men who regularly did volunteer work lived longer than those who didn't proves this point. In other words, when you act in loving ways toward other people, you are strengthening your own immune system as well as those of the people you help.

One of the easiest ways to help others is to become a good listener. You'll impress

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Learn to Sleep Well by Chris Idzikowski 8 of 8