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Moby Dick 2008-Stage Musical "MOBY DICK 2008-STAGE MUSICAL" 1. CHARACTERS 1. Miss ALICIA LUKER -HEADMISTRESS/ AHAB. 2. NEW GIRL plays ISHMAEL. 3. HEAD GIRL plays STARBUCK. 4. SPORT CHAMPION plays QUEEQUEG. 5. FRED plays ELIJAH & CAPTAIN GARDINER. 6. SHIRLEY HOLMES plays a French Creole, FLASK. 7. WILD SCOTTISH GIRL plays STUBB. 8. POGO WATSON plays a Nubian chieftain, DAGOO. 9. BOYFRIEND plays PIP. 10. LOLITA plays ESTA , Ahab's wife. 11. SNOBBY GIRL plays TASHTEGO, a Navaho Indian. 12. HEAD OF SCIENCE DEPARTMENT plays MARY & PLACARD GIRL. LOWER FOURTH JUNIORS PREFECTS BOYFRIENDS "MOBY DICK 2008-STAGE MUSICAL" 2. ACT ONE- MOBY DICK. 2008 SCENE 1-SCRIM SCRIM depicts a mountain side Chalet English finishing School in Europe, overlooking a beautiful alpine lake. The great stone gate, describes as; "St. Godley's Academy for Girls," and barbed wire bordered, hand made signs read; "DANGER! KEEP OUT!" NO CALLERS-EXCEPT THE OTHERS!" "PARENTS BY APPOINTMENT ONLY." LIGHTS down, bleed through scrim to; SCENE 2- SCHOOL STUDY. The boater wearing, cigar smoking , gin swigging dissolute savages of the LOWER FOURTH (usually 14 yrs,) occupy themselves, in different cliques, alongside the ridiculously sexy, thigh showing PREFECTS. The HEAD GIRL, a real fizzer and champion swimmer, enters through French windows still dripping, followed by JUNIORS (15 yrs,) SWIM CLASS (in goggles, flippers and outsized gym knickers,) while her heart stirring SPORTS CHAMPION colleague, teaches Health and Beauty exercises, (with hoops, medicines balls and stick ribbons,) filmed by a WILD SCOTTISH GIRL and equally hairy members of the FILM CLUB. The SCIENCE DEPT. nurture a gin distillery in the great fireplace, as SPIVVY FRED (a former boot boy) labels the bottles beneath a makeshift sun tanning machine, surrounded by a long row of dirty boots to be polished. Above him, a crude sign declares" SCHOOL CRÈCHE- THIS WAY!" pinned to a bookshelf. In the bay window ,a dare devil, tom boy NEW GIRL lies on the floor with a paper knife in her heart while the DRAMA CLUB ("Shirley Holmes and "Pogo" Watson",) examine her. "MOBY DICK 2008-STAGE MUSICAL" 3. The drama is played out before a cobwebbed blackboard with the repeated lines;" I MUST DO GOODER," chalked over it. An objectionable GIRL "snogs" another girl,(who is actually one of several androgynous looking "boyfriends" disguised as a shapeless LOWER FOURTH,) while members of the MUSIC CLUB ,toe tap, to a spirited rendition of the finale of the NEW GIRL'S new musical, played on a bouncing upright, whose final chords are greeted with a smattering of applause while the curious MUSIC CLUB MEMBERS analyze the piano score and "brown paper covered" librettos with interest. At this point, an eccentric Headmistress, MISS LUKER, slips into the room, via a secret panel in the oak wall, with a sign reading "DO NOT DISTURB," (plus graffiti; "already disturbed,") added. She samples the gin. HEADMISTRESS Not too much water, girls, and please be careful with the nitroglycerine, won't you? There's nothing gives a girl more aplomb and savoir-faire than when she's eager to show her pulchritude! Fred, we need to call a crisis meeting! FRED stands to reveal "I AM SPARTACUS" across the front of his shorts. FRED Do you mean to tell me you've gambled away the school fees again? HEADMISTRESS Well, I didn't mean to, Fred, oh, if only I had the courage to surrender myself to the authorities. FRED But how are we going to beat our creditors economically? "MOBY DICK 2008-STAGE MUSICAL" 4. HEADMISTRESS Well, as economically as we can, considering the cost of living. FRED You do realize how calamitous this really is? She corrects his grammar. HEADMISTRESS How calamitous these really are! HEAD GIRL But how shall we all survive? HEADMISTRESS By fishing, foraging and most importantly, filling up on vast amounts of fresh air. HEAD GIRL But freezing and starving us to death won't impress the Ministry of Education, Miss Luker. The staff has resigned and they're threatening to shut us down. HEADMISTRESS Well, now you've got me into one of my moods, and its too late to place a bet with Tina. Ladies, take your feet off the radiators and stop what you are doing instantly. The SCHOOL gather before their HEADMISTRESS. HEADMISTRESS (cont’d) It is my melancholy task to announce the closure of this famous, nay, unorthodox school. Through circumstances which got out of control, it is no more! However, when I turn the lights out, if whosoever stole our championship trophy returns it, then we might be able to affect a reprieve! HEADMISTRESS switches the lights off. Blackout. Pause. Turns them on again to reveal ALL the trophies missing! HEADMISTRESS (cont’d) Well, in that case, Ladies, courtesy forbids me to tell you where you can all go, but I suspect it will involve a merciless world and home! Boos. "MOBY DICK 2008-STAGE MUSICAL" 5. BOYFRIEND But I thought this was home!? Hand flies up. HEAD GIRL Quiet, dummies! Have you anything to suggest? A hand shoots up. LOLITA Why don't we lower our standards? HEADMISTRESS Why don't you remove the farmyard from your mind? The DISTILLERS step forward. HEAD GIRL Science department? HEAD OF SCIENCE DEPT. Well, Miss, we've developed a contraceptive toothpaste? HEADMISTRESS Well, that's frightfully advanced of you, girls, but on this occasion, I must brush it aside. FILM CLUB surrounds HEAD GIRL. HEAD GIRL Film club? FILM CLUB We could premiere our new TV series. HEADMISTRESS Entitled? FILM CLUB "The little mosque on the Prairie!" HEADMISTRESS Well, I don't know anything about that! HEAD GIRL selects raised hand of the NEW (pregnant,)GIRL. HEAD GIRL The scholarship girl, Headmistress? "MOBY DICK 2008-STAGE MUSICAL" 6. NEW GIRL The music department would like to suggest a benefit? HEADMISTRESS Oh, well if you're keen. You've already made an exhibition of yourself. A benefit sounds very much on the spot? We are always very pleased to welcome all our newcomers from the mist- I mean, in our midst SNOBBY GIRL This girl is a real addition to our number, Headmistress; in fact, she's just completed a brand new musical! HEADMISTRESS Has she, well, we pride ourselves on offering our girls the advantages of a modern education. What is your chosen topic? NEW GIRL "Moby Dick." Consternation all round. SHIRLEY HOLMES What a ghastly idea, Miss! HEADMISTRESS Please don't elevate your nose at me! If I want your opinion I'll tell you what it is. SPORTS CHAMPION Sounds more like a sports injury! HEADMISTRESS Well, you're wrong, smart Alice. It's the name of a famous nautical saga by the American author Herman Melville, which, unhelpfully, is all about men, am I right? NEW GIRL Actually, "Dick", Head, is about the whale's revenge on men! Wild cheers. HEADMISTRESS Well, that does touch some chord in my memory, but isn't it indescribably long? NEW GIRL Yes, so I took the liberty to cut it! (MORE) "MOBY DICK 2008-STAGE MUSICAL" 7. POGO WATSON What a nerve! HEADMISTRESS Well, is there, I mean are there any role for Miss Luker? SNOBBY GIRL Yes, filthy, you can play the ham roll. FRED Yes and its now chopped ham! HEADMISTRESS Because before I did time- I mean, joined the board of education- I used to be on the stage as a quick change artiste. HEAD OF SCIENCE DEPARTMENT Why? HEADMISTRESS Why, to make some quick change, of course, you silly girl. SNOBBY GIRL Miss, weren't you ever tempted to take it up? HEADMISTRESS What, acting, and give up three meals a day? No, no. The theatrical NEW GIRL grabs the HEADMISTRESSES wrist in a warning grasp. NEW GIRL But you won't be stumped if you portray the mad, bad, Captain Ahab who loses his right limb to a rogue white whale just as his crew mutiny? It would be you against us? HEADMISTRESS Well, I wouldn't have a leg to stand on. But, I don't mind if you don't! FRED Hang on, how are we going to depict a whale? HEADMISTRESS Well, you're the caretaker, Fred, take care of it! For a start you can reopen the pool. In the meantime, seniors, I advise you to make the smaller people move about a "MOBY DICK 2008-STAGE MUSICAL" 8. Lot, copy theHEADMISTRESS(cont'd) script and let's get this "Dick down as fast as we can! PREFECTS walk round in two's, hands held behind their backs. HEADMISTRESS (cont’d) Prefects; telephone your parents, telegram your sugar daddies, tip off the pepperoni and announce to the entire world that it is cordially invited to a "benefit of Dick!" GIN DISTILLERY blows up! TIME passes. An artistic LITTLE GIRL ,who is rarely more than half awake to all that goes on about her, crosses the stage with a placard announcing ,( in that old fashioned phrase for rehearsals,)"GETTING IT DOWN." 1. Moby Dick ALL MOBY DICK THE MUSICAL NEW GIRL MOBY DICK ALL A WHALE OF A TALE! MOBY DICK! NEW GIRL EVERYTHING THAT'S NAUTICAL ALL MOBY DICK!- SO WHEN DO WE SAIL? HEAD GIRL holds out antique DIVERS HELMET. HEAD GIRL DIVE IN AND SEE WHO YOU SURFACE AS. NEW GIRL I PLAY THE PALE ISHMAEL- OUR CLASSIC TALE'S NARRATOR SPORTS GIRL I'M QUEEQUEG, TATTOOED MALE - A SOUTH SEA PEOPLE EATER. WILD SCOTTISH GIRL I'M STUBB WHO RUNS THE SHIP "MOBY DICK 2008-STAGE MUSICAL" 9. BOYFRIEND A CABIN BOY CALLED 'PIP!' HEAD GIRL I PLAY A QUAKER TRUE LOLITA THE BEAUTIFUL 'ESTA' Rest gather round the helmet picking many and varied roles.
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