The Perception of Honour Among the British-Pakistani Community in Watford, United Kingdom. Zubaida Metlo Submitted in Accordance
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The Perception of Honour among the British-Pakistani Community in Watford, United Kingdom. Zubaida Metlo Submitted in accordance with the requirements for the degree of Doctor of Philosophy School of Modern Languages and Cultures University of Leeds April, 2012 11 The candidate confirms that the work submitted in her own and that appropriate credit has been given where reference has been made to the work of others. This copy has been supplied on the understanding that it is copyright material and that no question from the thesis may be published without proper acknowledgment. 11l Dedication Parkinson Tower a symbolic re-birth of the ruined Hindu temple 'Kamber Tikano Tower' iv Acknowledgement This dissertation could not have been completed without the support of a great many individuals. It is a collective journey, a challenging intellectual task that would not have been possible without all the valuable support in my life. Without a doubt, the main contributor to this dissertation is my supervisor Dr Zahia Salhi, whose constant intellectual insight and input brought this document to completion. I owe a debt of gratitude to her, for her unflagging encouragement over the past few years, helping me to nurture what once only seemed like a dream: researching about women's lives who suffer from cultural ethos. She provided me with a space to express my fears and frustrations; she listened to my concerns, and helped boost my confidence and faith in myself. Without her, I could never have completed my academic journey. She used to say to me, despite all my hardships, that I was doing "brilliantly". I would like to thank all the participants in this study, especially those who gave so much of their time, generosity, and support. Without them, there would have been nothing to write about. My gratitude also goes to my academic friend Dr Kaveri Qureshi, who provided me with direction, and enriched my understanding of the complexity of the area. She made sense of my data, and supplied me with enlightened and constructive criticism during the early drafts of my work. I hope that I have done some justice to her suggestions. Thanks are similarly due to Dr Marta Bolognani and Dr Mwenza BIell, for their earlier support: 'Not less important is the help I received from Nada AI-Otaiby, who was a real boost for me both personally and professionally; Christine Chattle and Nadia Anwar both corrected my English; and David Chu, who supported me in computer difficulties. I thank all of them. Despite such assistance, I remain solely responsible for any problems with the project. I'm thankful to Janet Morton, a librarian at the University of Leeds, for helping me locate research material. I'm also thankful to Professor Qadir Khan Rajput, a Vice Chancellor (MUET), who granted me a study leave to go abroad, and Professor Mark Williams who helped me secure funds, without which I would not have been able to complete my project. I must equally express my gratitude to Seija Frears, who provided special prayers and initial moral support to settle me in Leeds. Indeed all my Leeds friends have been a great support in my struggle as a self-funded student. I am exceptionally grateful to my friends Emma Reinhardt, Sabrina Qureshi, Bridget Fenn, Caroline Smart, Vivienne Hayes, Jacek Leszek, Anita Mir, Shabnum Moti and Nafisa Shah, for all their love and enormous encouragement. v After working tirelessly for what seemed like a marathon of writing, I have received an inspirational Arabic proverb from Hussain Al-Qarni - which truly encouraged me: 'a good horse is one who runs fast at the last moment'; I appreciated it and found it very useful. I also found it very comforting when Abdullah Al-Fouzan used to ask about my children, who live far away from me, and Dr Christopher Bartle's insightful conversation re-energised me greatly. I will never ever forget Eman Elsayed, and her cheerful talk, which kept me going at my submitting stage. They all wanted to lift my spirits throughout this challenging journey, and helped me in ways that only dear friends and fellow PhD students can. I'm also grateful to my siblings who live all over the world, but never far from each other. They never left me alone. I'm indebted to my loving sister Saeeda Sahar, who would always phone and ask how I was coping, and to the various support of my brothers, Dr Ali Gul, Mujeeb Rehman and Amar Jalil, particularly, the comfort they provided to my children in my absence. I thank them all with all my heart, and I believe they will get rewarded for such kindness. My special thanks go to my children who never let me down, showing incredible patience in coping with their lives without me, always giving me great news of their good grades/awards from school, and proving how talented and gifted they are. I deeply regret not being able to attend many of their award ceremonies and school activities. It is certainly exciting that, whilst most parents receive their children's degrees, in my case, my 'children will receive mine. They were with me when I received my MA degree in Leeds University, and were proud of my success, after the hard choices and great challenges we all had to face together. They look forward, once again, to accompanying me at my PhD award ceremony. This dissertation is dedicated to the Parkinson Tower, which became a source of inspiration for me in my academic journey, and a great reminder of the ruined 'Kamber Tikano Tower' that I have always deeply honoured. I also dedicate my work to the female victims of honour killings, the women who have died and those who have survived , particularly in Sindh, but also all others whom I have not reached yet, but hope to do so one day. I dedicate my thesis to my father, Pir Muhammad, who has great faith in me, and to my mother, Gul Afroz, who is the prime source and emotional anchor of my journey. She eagerly awaits to see my PhD degree, has an eternal love for me, and prays for me with great spirit. Finally, I dedicate my work to my three children, Komalta, a peace-giving angel, and Halar and Mir, my two sons and glittering stars. They are all the strings of my soul and an inspiration source of my life. vi Abstract This thesis examines the related concepts of honour and shame in the British-Pakistani community in Watford. "Honour" - symbolic term and fluid entity - disturbs many people's lives. Scholars link it to patriarchy as it is embedded in cultural patriarchy (familial, hierarchal and kinship based). The phenomenon has been verified through an explicit set of values and evidences which works in personal and communal form affecting and subordinating women's position in family and community. Honour process has a lifelong application to women's lives which starts ideologically from birth and in practice from pre-puberty. In practice the woman is expected by close family, extended family and community members to avoid any physical contact with a male which might result in romantic intimacy or sexual relationship before or outside marriage. The research questions evolving during field work were deeply grounded in community beliefs constantly producing and reinforcing multiple complexities in controlling young British born women's lives to produce family's required reputation as an ethnic identity in the community. Young women are being indoctrinated in ambiguous, intimidating, and patriarchal ways to follow rules for modesty, facing harsh consequences if they cross the line. Women's modesty and their marriage are a central component in honour culture. The main concern noticed is that parents live in apprehension that their daughter might get involved in a relationship outside the family's preference as they intend to keep their ethnic identity intact through their daughter's modest behaviour. Marriage demands women's utter modesty, sexual purity and dutiful role being a daughter, wife and a mother. Inter-generational tensions were observed, parents were more inclined towards their group identity. Young British born adults criticise caste values; young British born women, while inclined towards Islamic teaching if Islam appreciates women's rights, differ from their elders in being uncertain about continuing to live by patriarchallhonour dictated codes. They were courageous and confident in negotiating for social change while trying to keep parents happy. Three generations were involved in this study, females being the main participants in the project, but equally men's contribution was found highly useful to understanding the community concerns and cultural practices. Vll Glossary Arabic, Urdu, Sindhi and Punjabi words, some of which appeared more than once in the text Abiro Chastity, shyness, dignity and reputation. Amanat Something holding temporarily Baithuk The women's area of the house, back room Beizati Shame or bad reputation Biraderi Local agnatic lineage, blood-cum caste unites. Burqa An all-enveloping veil Dars Islamic education, lesson. Dupatta Long rectangular, thin scarf worn by Pakistani women. Fitna Chaos, discord, temptation, enchantment. Ghairat Protection of honour, jealously, courage, modesty and shame. It is a complex concept which applies to both men and women, and stands opposed to be-ghairat, shamelessness, without a sense of honour. Ghrara: A pleated, long skirt. Geebat Backbiting Ghughdam Innocent lass Hijab Muslim woman's outing hiding her hair and body contours Hijabi Women who wear the veil Haya: Reputation Iffat Chastity, dignity Izzat Honour, prestige Ismat Chastity Jirga Tribal council Jaedad Property Kismet Destiny, fate Kashmiri Resident of Azad Kashmir Karo-kari The terms karo (black man) and kari (black woman) is employed as a compound noun for 'honour killings'.