A Failed Attempt [A Dorohedoro fan story.]

Kaiman yawned, walking down the dirty and industrialized streets of the Hole, his gas mask dawned over his lizard head. He felt bored but more importantly, hungry; he was very very hungry and placed a gloved hand to his stomach after it let out an agitated grumble. He thought only one thing would solve this as he walked past the disheveled and tired residence of the Hole. “Damn I could use some Nikido’s gyoza right now.” Kaiman loved gyoza and his friend Nikido always made him the best for free. They were close friends and her restaurant, The Hungry Bug, became a frequent haunt of the two. So that’s where the lizard, human, hybrid was headed right now to sate his hunger. Walking past the abandoned van before the dirty concrete overpass, Kaiman knew he was close and before long the neon sign of the Hungry Bug was in view. Rubbing his hands together he hurried over to the door with a pep in his step and a giddy smile, but Kaiman was unaware of something amiss in the tiny restaurant. Inside was not Nikido, but instead the young magic user Fujita. He stood in the kitchen putting the finishing touches on a plate of gyoza before slipping it into Kaiman’s usual wooden booth table along with at least 9 other plates. Fujita chuckles evilly to himself as he adjusted his red long nosed mask and winter hat on his head. He then went back to the kitchen, taking a look at his finishing touch as he sat on a stool back there. In his hand was a medium sized, black bottle that looked like an ink well; stopped by a cork and with a twisting symbol like helix on the side. “Hehe let’s hope this stuff works, that damn always seems to find a way to win but not any more. This is my chance; my chance to finally get my revenge on that piece of…” The door suddenly opened with a ring of the bell. “Hey Nikido, I'm here to cash out on my bet haha, '' Kaiman said this with a toothy grin and another stretch. The sound of his voice almost made Fujita leap out of his skin and duck into a back room with a door slam. “Hey Nikido, where you at?!” Fujitu’s breathing was rushed and his heart was racing as he hid among the boxes, metal shelves, and fly traps hanging from the ceiling. “Shit he’s here already. If I fuck this up he’ll kill me.” “Hey Nikido,” Kaiman shouted from the dining area, looking over the counter. “You there?! Hehe don’t make me have to come lookin for ya, I’m starving.” Fujitu covered his ears. “I can’t do this, I can’t do this, I can’t…... “ He lifted his head and then stood up as the memories of his friend and all the sorcerers this guy had killed flooded back into his mind. So with a snarl and a snap of his fingers, black smoke surrounded him and he turned to the athletic, blonde haired Nikido. “I’m in the back Kaiman, just checking on some meat stocks,” he said this in her voice and flicked her hair back before exiting the room. “Hey Nikido,” Kaiman smiled, at her and gave her one of those fancy hand shakes you always see really close friends doing. His heart fluttered a bit as he was happy to see his best friend again but was even more pleased to taste her kickass food in his mouth. “Hey Kaiman, buddy,” Fujita died inside a bit. “What can I do for ya.” “Chase in my favor that’s what. I want endless gyoza and I want to get it all night.” Fujita smiled at the sound of that as he looked at the little black vial which still sat among the spices. “Well luckily for you I made 10 plates of gyoza for you right there in your usual spot.” Kaiman’s eyes shrunk a bit as he slowly turned his head to see the delectable dumplings still steaming on twenty white plates just sitting there waiting for him. He salivated a bit. “AWWW DAMMIT HOW DID I MISS THAT! IF I HAD SEEN IT I COULD HAVE STARTED EATING ALREADY AND SPARED MY STOMACH THE GRUMBLES AAAHHHAAHH” Fujita laughed as the lizard man sat down, taking out a pair of chopsticks. He then started to dig in like a ravenous street dog. Fujita smiled slightly as he watched Kaiman devouring the poisoned dumplings and he moved away from the kitchen counter window. “Hehe finally I get to put that stupid cocky lizard in his place, He deserves what’s coming to him..” BUUUUUURRRRRRPPP Kaiman belched as he finished his last plate of gyoza and it was so loud Fujita felt it reverberate through him. Kaiman on the other hand patted his full belly, thinking to himself how he just set a new record for devouring 100 plates of gyoza in 5 minutes. “BURRRRP Damn those were goooood, Can I URRRRRP Have some more.” Kamian smiled as he felt more air gurgling in his stomach and held up his plate with a grin. Fujita on the other hand found a vein was throbbing in his head and so without a word pots and pans began to sizzle. More gyoza came out of the kitchen and placed before the lizard man who just gobbled them down. More and more came out and Kaimaan just inhaled them like a vacuum cleaner inhales dust, and as he did neither he or Fujita noticed that his stomach was starting to look...bigger. With each new plate of gyoza consumed his stomach bloated out, becoming rounder and riding up his hoodie. Eventually the pick flesh underneath was exposed as his shirt was pushed up by the ballooning gut that also began letting out deep ominous gurgles. “More gyoza please,” Kaiman said. “Urrrrgglle BURRRRRRPPP Damn these are fantastic oooh Gurrrrgggle urrp.” Fujita growled as he got to work and Kaiman was in such a state of bloated bliss, rubbing his stomach that he didn't even notice. So more plates rolled in and Kaiman devoured them all. Suddenly he felt something pop and as his eyes widened and drifted down. His pants buckle flew off causing his round stomach to surge forward. But he just shrugged it off and kept eating. More gyoza went down and his stomach continued to balloon out, starting to make increasingly ominous noises. Bigger and bigger it grew and Kaiman was beginning to notice just how tight he was feeling. His hoodie and under shirt was hiked up to his chest and his ass was rounding out into a set of overinflated beach balls with the buttcrack peaking out of the hem of his pants, trucker style. Now, Fujita was just flat out exhausted, panting and with his hands on his knees. He was sweating like a pig but not as much as Kaiman was. At least 200 plates were left on the booth table and the table itself had actually been dislodged and moved slightly by his bloated balloon gut. “URRRRRRRPPPPPP burp,” Kaiman let out another reverberating, nasty belch as he licked crumbs from his scaly lips. He felt so full and could feel bubbles popping inside of his gut which he rubbed in an attempt to soothe it. He moaned from how full he was but still he had an appetite like he hadn’t eaten in days. “Oooh that was so damn good. Urrrrgggle. Ooooh but I’m still so hungry. Nikidooo could you make me some more food.” Fujita’s eyes widened and the vein in his head throbbed harder. He had literally used every ingredient in the kitchen and now this lizard headed freak was asking for more. As Kaiman let out another BELCH, Fujita’s eyes drifted to a large kitchen knife hanging from a rack on the grease stained wall. Without even thinking he grabbed it, if Kaiman was gonna act like a big food balloon, he may as well pop him. So as he walked towards the big lizard man who was still rubbing his belly, he uttered. “Oooh Nikido, I don’t feel so good.” Fujita stopped, the poison was finally working. But Kaiman was feeling something different, A bubbling, constipated sensation was shifting from his belly to his bubble butt in a series of groans before… FRAAAAAPPPPPPPTTTHHHHHH. Kaiman ripped a black smoke fart that smelled of stinky booty and gyoza. The sound was so loud and the smell so pungent that it knocked Fujita back just staring as loud groaning sound emitted from Kaiman and he started to balloon out with each and every gurgle. He moaned again continuing to rub his belly only to rip another BRAAAAAAAPPPP which bubbled against the plastic seat and caused the booth to shake. Kaiman sighed with relief as more FRRRRTTTS echoed out of his fat ass while Fujita coughed and covered his nose. He then took notice of the black tinge of the farts which started clouding the room and realized that Kaiman’s magic resistance was preventing the poison from working. Instead the poison smoke from all the gyoza was building inside of him turning him into a massive bomb. BRAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPP, Kaiman ripped another reverberating fart which echoed throughout the shop. The smell of gyoza tickled Fujita’s nose but also made him a bit woozy since it was so strong. Kaiman’s stomach continued to expand and blorp like a boiling pot, pushing the table and making it creak. Kaiman moaned, setting his head back with his tongue hanging out. “Ooooooh burrrrp I’m sooo….hungry,” Kaiman’s stomach let out another loud groan which equalled more expansion. His shirt was now completely pushed up to his chest and starting to rip. He felt the bubbles continuing to pop and a serious constipated feeling lingering in his colon area. “Nikido I need more gyoza pleeeeease.” he rubbed his creaking stomach as another FRAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPP FRRRRRRTTT BRRAAAPP of gyoza scented black smoke billowed out of his bubble butt. The scent made Fujita cough and gag. The restaurant’s tiny space caused the farts to be concentrated. Kaiman only continued to grow with more FRAAAPPPS and BRRAAAP and FRRRTS and PHRAAPPPPS. His mind was starting to become fuzzy from braaping so much that he barely noticed the fake Nikido staggering towards the door. “Hey Nikido BUUUURRRRRPPP!” Fujita froze still. “Y-yes,” He shakily said. “Yo gonna make more FRAAAAPP, gyoza.” “Uuh uh uh Yes. I’m just gonna get more cough cough meat and dough.” “YAAAY URRRRRPPP FRRRRRrRRTT.” Kaiman lifted his leg and ripped another Earth shattering fart as his body was starting to grow so bloated the booth was shrinking around him. With the lizard man satisfied Fujita rushed out the door. He had a feeling of what was coming and did not want to be around when the time bomb exploded. Kaiman was now alone and still growing as gurgles and fraaaps continued to echo out with the sound of a tuba. He kept rubbing his belly with his eyes closed as it creaked. Soon though he had to open them as he felt a new pressure force more smoke and creaks out of him. He looked to see that the booth was extremely cramped and that his head was only a foot away from the ceiling. The table was digging into his stomach, but after about a second Kaiman heard a loud crunch and felt his belly surge forward. His gas blimp had completely dislodged the table and was now causing the other torn bench across from him to creak.”Gd damn furniture,” he cursed as the back of his booth seat snapped off, hitting the shop window. “Why couldn’t Nikido get shit that gives me more room, it’s gettin cramped in here. FRAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPP. He lifted his leg again and more smoke filled the room. Kaiman felt an intense blorping, like a volatile reaction occurring in his stomach. The kind of chemical reaction found in explosive materials. He felt his limbs tighten and his butt creak which was now spewing out constant BRAAAPS. He felt so full and woozy. The pressure was too high. As he closed his eyes and gritted his teeth, he felt smoke hissing it’s way out of his nose and from in between his teeth. Some even started to force itself out of his belly button in small frrts. “Ooooooohhh.” He moaned again. “Ooh Nikido where are you, I’m starving here.” A thunk then sounded out as Kaiman felt his ass press against something. He tried to turn but his neck had grown puffy and round so he could barely turn his head. But from what little he could see his ass had grown. It felt full of air just like his stomach and colon, and had completely covered the front wall and shattered the glass and blasted off the door. A small crowd had now amassed to watch the sight. The saw what looked to be two shiny mountainous spheres that smelled of booty and gyoza pressed against the broken windows. Their gurgling made the ground vibrate which attracted the curiosity of a cubby grey wolf with black ears and a similar tail. He moved closer to the butt before.

Prrrt…..FRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTHHHHHHHAAAPPPPPP! The wolf was launched into the wall of the building across the street. Now the crowd was noticing that the building was starting to bulge. “Damn it why Burrrp can’t this URRRPP place be fucking URRRRPPPPP bigger, its too tight it’s making my stomach hurt… FRAAAAPPAPAPPPTHHHHHH,” Kaiman cursed again as his new found bloated roundness had busted out all the walls except the outside ones. The smell of ass stung his nose but he didn’t care. He was so bloated that his skin shone like a taut balloon. It even looked a bit red in the center of his stomach who’s groans were like a tickling timer. Gas hissed out his nose, belly button, and from in between his closed teeth more consistently now, and it was only becoming more forceful. The lizard man’s mind was so fuzzy from the constant BRAAAAPPING he had no idea that almost half of the Hole had come to watch him. He only got rounder, like an overinflated zeppelin, his head getting pressed into the ceiling. FRAAAAAPPPP PRRRRRRRAAAAAPPP FRRRRT BRAAAAPP. As he sat panting and ripping ass like a leaky gas tank, Kaiman happened to catch something out the corner of his hazy vision. He noticed on his bloated neck ring there was one last gyoza. His eyes lit up and he stuck his tongue out like a ravenous dog as more FRRRRTTTAPHHHS and BRRRRRRRNNNNTSS sounded. He couldn’t reach it with his puffy hands but managed to lick up the dumpling with his long tongue. He swallowed the delectable treat and let out one more BELCH of contentment. His body let out a few more creaks and explosive BRAAAAAPPS URRRRRPS and FRAAAAPPPPPTTTHHS from the pressure it was trying to contain and with one more blorp the building exploded apart. Halfway across town, the real Nikido was out in one of those temporary meat markets getting some Kobe beef. As she slung the red delicacy over her shoulder she saw a huge group of people running past her. With a raise of her eyebrow she stopped one of the guys who told her that a building in the up town had exploded and they thought sorcerers were responsible.

Epilogue

He heard the sorcerer beg but didn’t listen to his pitiful pleas to be released from his gloved grip. All Hastor did was scowl at the young white fox with deep blue eyes, messy hair, and a tacky looking T-shirt that said “no fear” on it. He adjusted his glasses staring intently through their red lenses and repeated his question. “You’re a user that means you’ve met with the bastards. Now I’ll ask again, where is Crimson Tide.” “Look man I don’t know where they are,” the sorcerer said in a jittery voice. “I only deal with a middle man named Bento.” “And this Bento, where would I find him?” “Come on man I-I’ve already said too much.” Hastor’s cold expression didn’t change. Instead he let off the fox’s throat causing him to fall to the floor. In a swift motion he grabbed one of the black bladed katanas off his back and swung it toward the fox’s ear. He screamed but Hastor stopped only a millimeter away from his ear. “OK OK OK! H-he lives here, in the Hole in the Jinjuia Apartments in the industrial district. He sells to the sorcerers who come to the Hole….please….don’t kill me.” Hastor grinned and put the katana back in the holster on his black techwear trench coat. Silently, he then pulled a silver coin out of the pocket of his cargo pants. Kneeling he snapped his fingers, immediately getting the fox’s attention. “Look here,” Hastor pointed to the coin in his hand. Knowing he had the fox’s attention he slowly raised his glasses. Smoke leaked from behind them, but it was not black, it was a strange blood reddish color. It creeped down through the air like eldritch tentacles reaching out for something to drag back to their horrid hollow. Soon the smoke reached the coin and seemed to encase it how a caterpillar encases itself in a cocoon. It then started to shimmer and bend in indescribable directions while at the same time getting more muted in color. Before the eyes of the young fox, which widened and began to tear up, the coin faded away. Hastor replaced his glasses and said, “Tell this Bento to meet me at Myu Park, 7 p.m., on Thursday. Or else his fate will be the same as the coin.” Before the fox could respond, footsteps echoed through the damp tunnel with haste and Hastor turned. It was the grey wolf from earlier. He halted before him, panting heavily as still smelling like ass. After catching his breath he looked up with glistening blue eyes and smiled happily. “Hastor,” he exclaimed. “I found him! The man with the lizard head!” Hastor gasped quietly, feeling his is heart jump in his chest. His mind was now racing with both a mix of happiness and wonder as his plan to meet the lizard man began to formulate. Hastor was so caught up that he almost forgot the half broken fox quivering against the wall. He simply shoed the fox away who sprinted like the devil was on his heels. Hastor then stood up and smoothed out his jet black hair and zipped up the collar of his coat which masked the lower half of his tan face. “Finally,” he said as he dusted off his gear. “Looks like all our hard work wasn’t in vain. Let’s go find this guy. I’m anxious to meet him.” The two ran out of the tunnel, headed for the Hungry Bug.

Written by, JokerTheTricker (AKA DalekSupreme] Gift to, Crashwolf