A TIME TO PRACTICE BEING HARD: •*>»™«— By Jim Thomas, USMC see pages 6 & 7

Who Cm Say - What Is A Which-Niche?

The multiversity—or, to use its own term, the land-grant university—fre- luently praises itself publicly on its devotion to public service, meaning helping the state meet its ideals for the people. A worthy goal, we are led to believe—except on those rare oc­ casions when something goes wrong in a place like Vietnam and someone like Ramparts Magazine finds out about it. As often as it praises itself on serving the broad public goals of the state and nation, and of the corporations which identify with those goals, the multiversity praises itself on serving the public needs of pri­ vate citizens, "preparing them for democracy," as one of the euphem­ isms goes. Michigan State's 18-year-old "Ca­ reer Carnival" (renaming it'Ca­ reers *66' this year appears an at­ tempt to rebuild its reputation through semantical fun, after four students and one other person were arrested along last year's midway for dis­ tributing anti-war literature) is one of the most perfect examples of the university's attempt to serve simul­ taneously its two masters: students . are told the carnival is a chance UNION CAREERS U OCTOBER for them to meet the world of busi­ formerly ness, to learn where to look for what kind of jobs when they graduate; the EUEDTNG 10-11 carnival does provide that chance, «f but it also provides a simple way for government and corporate Interests to get onto campus to inspect the current crop of future* organization men. Both students and potential em­ ployees benefits, if you accept the idea of students fitting into "niches" The Niche Pitch By GREGG HILL that are ready-made for them. But it is only the employers who The circus comes only once a year. (By the way, among the "com­ the hell? Heh, heh, heh. . .1 guess are being given an unusual oppor­ This year it's bigger, better, brash­ panies" represented this year is the the old search for identity goes on." tunity. Students could always go to er and brassier than ever. Boy Scouts of America. Other new­ Boeing's comment: "It's a free the Placement Bureau or write let­ Ringmaster Jack Shingleton has an­ comers to the Industry on Parade country." I choked down my laugh­ ters to employers if there were no nounced, "The booming economy and are such reputable and longstanding ter. carnival. Employers have no method the increasing number of young peo­ firms as the FBI, the State Depart­ Ben Franklin (I swear to God that of contacting large numbers of stu­ ple going into military service can ment, and the Treasury Department.) was his name, and he was wearing dents that is as simple, inexpensive help make the coming year an ex­ It's all very cozy. Except for the Ben Franklin bifocals and asking and effective as the career carnival. ceedingly good one for getting a job." clowns. about the weather) of Standard Oil Why does the university put it­ Formerly called Career Carnival, a The Students for a Democratic merely shrugged his shoulders at self out every year just so a limited much more appropriate name, "Car­ Society didn't ask for the part of the the question. As I walked away I number of businesses and govern­ eers '66" serves the needs of the clown. They were given the role by thought I heard him mumbling some­ ment agencies can have a go at the parvenu, the would-be Horatio Alger, the diligent, loyal, patient and brave thing about wasting not, wanting not. students? The charts and articles in his search for security, opportun­ Brothers of the Bourgeoisie, the U- Whirlpool's response, "Would you which accompany this one suggest a ities, good income, challenges, and nited Mind Workers. like some astronaut food?" possible reason: the university's own enjoyable work, under the warm, pro­ On the pretense of being career- "Will it make me fly?" interests—that is, the financial in­ tective wings of Big Business. conscious and ambitious, I attempted "It might." terests of the university adminis­ The State News describes it: "It's to discover the reaction of the par­ Then I went Krogermg. My tech­ tration, and, at least possibly though for every student with an eye on the ticipants to the sobering presence of nique—I'll pretend I'm interested in we don't discuss it here, the personal future." Undoubtedly his own future. SDS in the circus atmosphere. your management training program interests of members of that ad­ On the other side of the table, big The FBI reacted paternally. Their if you'll talk about SDS. I got a two- ministration—are best served by en­ business greets the wide-eyed youth spokesman resembled a cross-breed for-the-price-of-one bargain ans­ couraging the largest number of stu­ with a firm handshake and company between Alvin Karpis and the in­ wer. "Speaking for Kroger's I'm dents into the already largest indus­ trade-mark smile. According to the famous Baby Face Nelson. (Both are neither pro nor con. It seems sense­ tries and governmental agencies in State News. "'Careers '66' partici­ in the FBI Hall of Fame—whatever less. . . personally I don't like the country. pants are diligent, loyal, patient and happened to Al Karpis?) The fed's them. They're a black eye to the un­ iversity.' He then struck a more Ten of the corporations partici­ brave." And I'm sure they display all answer to the clowns—"They're nice the Boy Scout virtues. kids. They'll grow up some day. What casual pose and smugly remarked, pating in this year*8 carnival are "Of course, your education is in­ among the corporations making the directly financed by the war. We're most money off the war in Vietnam. all profiteering if you want to *hink This is the issue discussed in the of it that way." There's real ruth leaflet distributed at "Careers '66" in packaging. by the Students for a Democratic inside SPORTSH - ?. 2 See Above •- p. 6*7 To Collins Radio Company: "V* hat's Society (part of which is reproduced A Hard Day'* Part Two - p. 3 here); the research on which that your opinion of the SDS activities leaflet was based is reproduced in the Hard-Nights' Daze — p. 4 PUZZLES!! -- p. 9, 11 occurring here?" Their '"rep" smiled first chart. sweetly, clasped his hands together, "Careers '66" is a chance for Movies, pornography- - p. 5 LG Man, Slang -- p. 12 and burbled ecstatically, "Oh, I'm some of the corporations making the much too busy here with what I'm continued on p. 9 • -I continued on poc* fi EDITORIAL The Newspaper As Art Form

Being THE PAPER feels different this year. There's a spirit to it, a feeling of community and creativity and enlightened consensus about it that proves to those of usi who think about these things the value of the "underground press" an an instrument of communication. Let me explain. "Turn off your mind, relax and float downstream—this is not dying." We started publishing nearly a year ago in something of a void. We didn't realize it completely at the time, being hung up on being a rather limited alternative to the State News and being concerned for long periods of time simply with keeping our heads above water, but by creating THE PAPER we were defining and thus filling a gap in a lot of minds. "Lay down all thoughts, surrender to the void—it is shining." That gap represented the area where people's thinking was ahead of their communications media, where the standard forms of writing and publishing and speaking hadn't yet caught up with the spirit of the times. The Zeitgeist, if you like. The existence of THE PAPER, then, became in itself a real thing to the readers (and, as we learned later, to the staff)—it was a measure of ing myself for having a beard, not always wearing socks, supporting the ability of people to participate in a medium of mutual communication sit-ins, opposing alienation, etc., etc. Not at all satisfying, even though I among themselves, directly by working on it or indirectly by feeling a part kept my cool, and not at all enlightening for the interviewer or for those of Its presence and by relating one's thoughts to it. listeners who chose to call in questions, even though they might all have "That you may see the meaning of within. It is being. *' benefited from listening to what I could have been saying. This, you will note, is a new idea in communication. It is at the root of all ". . .that ignorance and hate may mourn the dead. It is believing." that we say and practice about participating in the events we write about, and But that is not the important part. The important part is that we all on the about writing frequently in the first person and nearly always through some staff understand now that our function is as innovative artists of journalism subjective lens, and about freedom of expression within a context of rele­ and that journalism is itself the art of relating importantly and currently to vance and a felt mandate from readers, and about being a part of the (can the concerns of people. Which is why each of three issues we have put out we say it?) increasingly radical and enlightened community out of which we this term has represented an evolution beyond all our previous issues, in emanate. And, now that we are emphatically on our feet and almost estab­ that in each one we have found ourselves expressing more confidently all lished and now that there is nothing to stop those who support and live our our beliefs and practicing more confidently the art of our trade. idea from saying so, we feel increasingly related to our readers in the most "Listen to the color of your dream. Is it not living?" vital and satisfying way. This is how the underground press can define itself—as that very new "Love is all and live is everyone; it is knowing. . ." and evolving species of journalism which sees as its main goal the relating Which is why being THE PAPER feels different this year. Just on the sur­ of contemporary concerns of real people, relating those concerns to people face, it is clear that things are going well. Our circulations have been the who have not yet articulated them, relating to everyone new ideas about highest ever, we have expanded from eight to twelve pages, we have the those concerns, relating as a social institution to the lives of the readers. biggest staff ever doing the most different jobs ever, we are suffering the Marshall McLuhan, the sociologist of communication who devised the ideas least flack ever from the university and its friends. But it is much more than on which this editorial and this concept of the underground press are based, that. There is a feeling of participation about everyone related to THE PAPER would be proud of us. And so would the Beatles, who symbolize in the most ^that overcomes the silliness of episodes much as that in which: graphic way imaginable the philosophy to which we subscribe of involvement I was interviewed rather extensively last week on WITL-FM'S "Night- in life and commitment to enlightened and full living and whose lyrics are line," a program involving telephone questions from listeners to a guest of course worth thinking about. speaker. The interviewer was one Mike Carr, who used to call himself Mike "Play the game existence to the end of the beginning." Carraher when we worked together on the State News, and who hasn't gotten MICHAEL KINDMAN any more perceptive since he cut his name in half. It was 95 minutes of de-

The Water Closet

Put an owl Four In A Row -Bat... By W. C. BLANTON Last Saturday the Michigan State that the team playing MSU did not to be used whenever anything else football team engaged in a contest hail from South Bend, Indiana. was successful. with a team from Ann Arbor. State Nearly half of the student body Of course, the picture was not all in your journalism won by two touchdowns, just as the of Michigan State University has nev­ THAT bleak. The defensive line turned oddsmakers had predicted. Both the er actually witnessed their team (it in another outstanding performance, THE PAPER coaches and the newspapers solemn­ is theoretically their team—despite and the psychological effect of ANY ly marveled at the hardhitting by seating arrangements and ticket dis­ pass completion made the secondary both teams. The players dutifully tribution policy) in defeat. However, look worse than it actually was. That's praised the opponents they had so they have an excellent chance to not to say that the thought of Jim recently attempted to break apart. broaden their experience on Novem­ Seymour romping around back there xft Some students shouted "We're Num­ ber 19, 1966. isn't somewhat chilling, however. The ber One." And I was very thankful The best college football team in offense occasionally ground out sub­ America should have beaten U-M by stantial chunks of yardage, despite six touchdowns, and MSU had every having its wide game stymied, until opportunity to win by five or six or somebody almost inevitably did some­ more. But mistakes which cannot be thing foolish. THE PAPER excused by the intensity of the game The Battle of the Bands was de­ THE PAPER is published weekly during regular school terms by students clared "no contest" as Bill Moffitt's of Michigan State University and a few of their off-campus friend.s. It is in­ crew had no marching competition tended as a channel for expression and communication of those ideas, events and creative impulses which makeof theuniversity community a fertile ground from the other school. The maize for the growth of human learning. THE PAPER hopes to help the university and blue musicians didn't even sound strive toward fulfillment of the highest ideals of learning and free inquiry, as good as usual. And careful ob­ by reporting and commenting on the university experience and encouraging servers of Collegiate Football after­ others to do so. . noons probably noted that the MSU students presented one of the most Correspondence should be addressed to: THE PAPER outstanding displays of TP throwing Box 367 ever to be seen in the Free World. East Lansing, Mich. 48823 This week the Spartans go to Co­ lumbus, Ohio, to play the increas­ Offices are located at 217 Center St., East Lansing, Tel.: 517-351-7373. ingly experienced and dangerous -THE PAPER is a member of the Underground Press Syndicate. hampered the Spartans whenever they sophomores of Woody Hayes. It is began to display any sign of jelling reported that Woody is not ecstatic Into a great team. And a great team about his season so far. Which is Editor and Resident Beatnik Michael Kindman does not lose its cool. reason enough for Duffy's charges Assistant Editor and Culture Vulture Laurence Tate Clinton Jones' brilliant and beau­ to go down there with a little bit of Bashful Secretary and Staff Writer . . Char Jolles tiful 44-yard touchdown run was nulli­ desire and no complacency. Editorial Assistant and Sex Symbol .*. Gregg Hill fied by a clipping penalty. An op­ And looking ahead a bit, there are Graphics Engineer Carol Hurlbutt portunity to score a second touch­ two young men at Notre Dame named Unbashful Staff Writer Stephen Badrich down before half time was lost when Hanratty (age 18) and Seymour (age God and Man at Yale Douglas Lackey a State defensive back (who should 19) who are making it rather dif­ Staff Pornographer in Absentia Richard A. Ogar be already perturbed enough to de­ ficult for a drunken Irishman to Oft-Neglected Albany Correspondent Carol Schneider serve anonymity) became more in­ remember Huarte-to-Snow-for-a- Photographic Mastermind. Dennis Trover terested in head-hunting than pass first-down. They will make it inter­ Circulation Manager (funny, hey?). . . . Jack Laks defense. A number of sustained drives esting for the Jolly Green Ones in a Office Manager and Free Spirit Judle Goldbaum were bogged down by major penal­ few weeks; and if they get a few Frustrated Ad Salesmen I Ann Barton, Richard Emerson ties. Throughout the long, long af­ breaks—such as five 15-yard penal­ And The Lounge as Himself ternoon it seemed as if clipping and ties, for instance—it could be a bad holding were in State's book of plays. thing to see. A Hard Day's Journey Into Night SB By STEPHEN BADRICH Beatles at large: "If reincarnation existed, what would you want to re- ' turn to earth as?" "What crap," murmured someone on my right. THE BEATLES] Suddenly, twelve "Doesn't matter," said Paul, half feet away, in a salmon jacket and a shrugging. You could see it didn't, sea green shirt, was John Lennon, not to him. Member of the British Empire, late "A tree," suggested Ringo. We of Liverpool and St. John's Wood; were off and running. George Harrison, visiting musicol­ "Why?" asked George, looking at ogist, in a tan shirt and an unread­ Nan Randell with genuine curiosity. able expression; Paul McCartney, of He never got an answer. The M.C. the choirboyish good looks, in a pointed to a girl with a large hat; brilliant yellow blazer and a shirt she was in the first row, across the striped with zigzag lightning; and table from John, and she began con­ Ringo Starr, as strange-looking as his fusedly: "John, am I on, I mean, pictures, in a black jacket and a shirt can I —" with lavender polka dots. Lennon smiled broadly and pointed The air in the room seemed to a finger at her. "You're on the AIR, pick up a slight static charge, an lady!" There was general laughter. air of heightened reality. Notebooks She asked a long question about flipped open. The first few flash­ whether the Beatles now did things bulbs popped, as photographers found individually. "I mean, do you make their range. From my vantage point solo films?" John, Paul, and George (I had slipped into a seat in the answered, their answers dovetailing fourth or fifth row), the immediately neatly together. "Well, it's some­ striking thing about them was how thing we'll have to consider." "If good they looked, new clean, how we get an offer, and If it's a good incapable of doing anythingepater le offer." It sounded almost like double- bourgeois; the complexion problems talk. John smiled dazzllngly. I had half-expected were non-exist­ "John," called out a plaintive voice ent. Lennon was surprisingly hand­ on the left, and from the apologetic, some, with symmetrical features, a for-God's - sake-I-hope-you-under- Grecian profile, and a mouth heroic stand-that-it-doesn't-matter-to - ME in repose; from head-on, two springy tone, everyone instantly knew what columns of hair could be seen flying this one was going to be about. John out on either side of the nape of his turned his profile to me, and I saw* neck like a pair of parentheses turned him swallow slightly. "John, this inside out, so: )(. McCartney had a business about your remarks. (About suggestion of five o'clock shadow, your being more popular than Jesus which made him more credible and and all.) What is it exactly? Do you probably saved him from looking think it's a big fuss or nothing, or So far as I knew, this was not a fact, The Beatles laughed at this as like Puck of Pook's Hill. what?" He stopped, too embarrassed but I decided to let the Ku Klux Klan though it were some fabulously fun­ The four of them stood for a few _$o go on. There seemed to be a gen­ look out for Itself. ny in-joke; it may have been, for all I •aacoads by the table "it the front of eral feeling among the Washington Someone asked if John had ever know. the room, chatting with people in the press that John had been given a hard thought of writing children's stor­ "Is that you in the background, first row and finishing off a round enough time already- after all, Adlai ies. The tension evaporated. "I've John?" someone asked, apparently of soft drinks -- Pepsis, through Stevenson/ Ted Sorensbh, and Arthur thought of it," admitted John. "The meaning: "—on the speaking tube in who knows what unconscious sym­ Schlesinger, Jr., were all UNITARI­ trouble is, sometimes they don't come 'Yellow Submarine'." bolism. Someone asked George for a ANS, for crissake, and no one had out as children's stories," Nervous "Yes, that's me". cigarette, and Harrison gave him a ever threatened to burn their books. laughter. Someone asked George Harrison Player. Their lips were moving, but "Oh, it's not over nothing," John Would John care to comment on the a long question that used the words the sounds didn't penetrate even to the said rapidly. "Not if people think.it's charge that his remarks about reli­ "trends" and "sithar." His ans­ fourth row. not over nothing, and a lot of them gion had been made for the sake wer began, "Oh, I don't know. . ." "Whatssamatter? Has Danny got the do. Not so many as I had been led of publicity? "That's pretty stupid," but I missed the rest of it; I was mikes away from them?" The picture- to believe, but a lot." commented John. busy memorizing the first question taking began in earnest. A news cam­ Someone interrupted to ask if the "Hey, John, what ABOUT ^Yellow in the notebook on my lap. Harrison era on my right opened up with a Beatles thought the religion issue Submarine'?" sat through most of the conference sound like a robot locust: click- had hurt attendance. "Nothing to do "Paul's it," said John and George like a sullen werewolf, (it may have click-click-click-click-clickl The with it," they answered firmly, in together. "Paul's the one." John been his hollow cheeks, or his trick light from exploding flashbulbs be­ chorus. "The crowds are big," John mugged and dug a finger into Paul's of showing his teeth when he talked) came a steady electric flicker. amplified, and the discussion degen­ ear, as though looking for something. and while his answers were pene­ The Beatles sat down, sipped their erated into talk about crowds and Paul looked down at his yellow Jacket trating, he only made three or four Pepsis, mugged and smiled. They gate receipts. in embarrassment and said, "One of them. Of all the Beatles, he gave looked relaxed. I'm in love with her Did John have anything to say about night when I was going to sleep, I the impression of being the most and I feel fine. the fact that the stadium was being got to thinking that I'd like to write alienated; there was something Click - click - click-click-click- picketed by the Ku Klux Klan? John a children's song, like we used to slightly resentful and proletarian in clickl Flashl Flash! Flaaash! laughed. "Nothing to say about that." have, you know. . ." continued on pogo 10 "All right," commanded someone in the Beatles' party (not Brian Ep­ npn stein, who wasn t there; whoever he was, he acted as the conference's front-row seat for the Decline of the West THE PAPER MC.) "offer them the sweatshirts now." Four EPGC Good Guys, mes­ This year, subscribers will have a omorphic types in blazers, trotted to choice of using a personal subscrip­ Join the Cheering Throng the front of the room with WPGC tion card, to pick up THE PAPER at Good Guy sweatshirts, which they any of Our sales locations (thus sav­ did their best to drape over the ing themselves the delay of the mails - Subscribe Now Beatles. This was suffered with fair­ and us the cost of postage) or having ly good grace, although I saw Ringo THE PAPER mailed to them first look down at his sweatshirt for a class. fraction of a second with a look of tbrea terms on* rem total revulsion. Circle the amount you wish to payfor "One more minute for pictures!" the services you wish us to render, with subscription cord $2.50 $1 and return this form to us. Include (east loosing, area only) Flaaash! Flash! Flash! Click-click- payment if you wish to receive your click-cllck-click-click! subscription. A hush fell. The M.C. looked out with first-class mailirtf $3.50 $1.25 at us and said, "Questions?" There was a general recognition lag that lasted about a second, and then Nan Randell of the Washington Post shot her band up. The Post had spon­ Srtr««t AddWt sored a contest "for people twenty or under" offering free tickets for the two best Beatles questions, and City, store, sip. apparently Mrs. Randell wanted to make sure she got them both in. THE PAPER Box 967 East Lansing, Mich. 48623 The M.C. nodded to her. and she read from a pad, addressing the HT^a,aa,aLa^ the definitive word on the riots, or THE RIOTS WHOSE TIME HAD COME

By CHAR JOLLES PAPER. "Collega crowds are usually gay. frolicking crowds. If left pretty much alone, they won't allow i too violent action." The MSU riots, then, could be in­ Sociologists and administrators for ••James S. Hundley, assistant professor of sociology. terpreted as one of many symptoms the last week have been making slight­ "I've never been scared before In a crowd of students. I've newr been In one before when I thought a of a dissatisfying college experience. mob could kill, but that night at McDonel I felt that they almost could have." This perspective extends for beyond ly less than candid remarks about the —Donald A. Adams, director of residence hall programs '"riots" that occurred during finals the boundaries of our campus; it week last spring. Their interpreta­ was, indeed, the very subject of an tion as reported in the State News important conference last year. consists of rather hackneyed general­ The conference, sponsored by the izations about student discontent and National Student Association (NSA) insecurity and virtually ignores the under grants from the National In­ broader implications of the riot phe­ stitute of Mental Health and the Dan- nomenon. forth Foundation, was held in Warren- town, Virginia, last November. This A little less sociology, a lot less spring,, NSA published a timely re­ administration, and a lot more in­ port of the conference called "Stu­ sight is imperative before the out­ dents,' Stress and the College Ex­ breaks of then, now and tomorrow perience," which attempted to define can ever be understood. just that dissatisfaction which is slow­ The current interpretations run ly beginning to undermine the struc­ the gamut of cliches. Let us examine ture of American education. briefly the three most popular, which argue that the riots were (1) "a fun (Next week: a report of the report.) things to let out tensions" (Andrew Babyak, grad assistant in sociology), (2) the product of resentment and Draft Cards insecurity that "builds up over the year, sometimes not even in con­ nection with the university" (John A. Fuzak, vice president for student Questions And affairs), and (3) the expression of discontent by students with "minor grievances" and those who "don't More Questions care" about studies (James Hundley, assistant professor of sociology). All By ERIC OTTINGER ^^xs^^^ three of these interpretations may have some validity; however, they At registration all male students are used to explain away the riots were presented with a Selective Ser­ as the natural but irresponsible and donoid feinberg vice Information card. Apparently appalling behavior of children which MSU believes that the student has "should not be and will not be toler­ some rights in regard to "infor­ ated at Michigan State University." To explain away the riots as "a suddenly the students united in ac­ mation concerning my academic sta­ (Donald Adams, in a memo to resi­ fun thing to let out tensions" is to tivity against the orders of local and tus." This is a new procedure: dence hall staff, June 8, 1966.) miss the point entirely. It seems state police and university adminis­ Either the student signs the card far more appropriate to Interpret the trators. The university suddenly be­ to be given another card notifying Mob activity that requires police riots as a "desperate thing to let out came an adversary. the draft board of the notification control is, of course, much, much tensions," and hence far more sensi­ Perhaps we can say that people that they will be receiving later more than misbehavior; it is a symp­ ble "to do everything possible to who are engaged in meaningful, per­ from the registrar's office, or there tom. In the case of the modern uni­ communicate the relative UNiimport­ sonally fulfilling activity don't feel is no notification at all. By this versity, it is one of many symptoms ance of final exams in the over-all the need to express themselves in either-or arrangement the univer­ of a number of possible diseases. educational process." senseless, sometimes dangerous and sity seems to coerce with the left One major clue to the particular dis­ Our sociologists and administra­ violent, ways, or to defy an author­ hand what it had given generously ease at Michigan State is the fact tors underrate the significance of ity they theoretically respect. Per­ with the right hand. that the riots occurred during finals finals week tension in another way: haps we can venture further to say week. by lumping it in with other "minor that there is little reason to believe My first stop in looking into this Oddly enough, this factor has been grievances" about food, lack of rec­ that the educational process here is matter was to see Colonel Dorsey little explored by our sociologists reational facilities at Brody, and so a meaningful, personally fulfilling Rodney (whom the Faculty Directory and administrators. on. (State News, 10-4-66) experience for very many students. calls "Coordinator Draft Deferment Vice Pres Stu Aff" and "Dean Em­ They seem to underrate the signi­ Surely it is obvious that any grie­ Instead the student sees himself as ficance of finals week tension; the helpless to do anything except run the eritus Coll of Bus & P S"), who vance which prompts even a small had helped me in the past when it crowds were basically gay, frolick­ degree of mob hysteria cannot begin rat-race that has been planned for ing, and the "misbehavior" wasa way, him. Individual development must take had been a vital question of making to be "minor." Complaints about food, connections with my draft board. perhaps immature, of having "fun." loss of playrooms at Brody, housing place within a rigid structure of The solution to the rioting Is, of credits, deadlines, tests, require­ That is what he does. He protects regulations, off-campus living ex­ those precious deferments. He ex­ course, "to do everything possible... penses, are all quite trivial, and in­ ments, curfews and dress regulations. to communicate the importance of plains, he makes telephone calls, he deed, "to university officials, these In this context, the riots can be sympathizes. He has an office on final examinations and that misbe­ reasons leave much unexplained." seen as one of many symptoms of havior of any sort, including water the third floor of the Student Ser­ (State News, 1Q-4-66) Undoubtedly the same disease: an inflexible, In­ vices Building. I asked him if there fights, will notbetolerated."(Adams, many students could not give clear, humane structure in which educa­ in the memo) was an alternative means of official logical reasons why they participated tion, personal development and mean­ notification. Unfortunately, the issue is deeper. in the rioting. ingful activity are supposed to flour­ "Fun" doesn't explain the rioting; The object of discontent and re- ish. "No," he replied, "it must come when "fun" means total indifference .sentment — that grievance which is Other reactions to this same mis- from the registrar." Is there an­ to several injured students and to major enough to sustain a riot — is educational process include(1) apathy other way of getting the notification damaged property, then it is more probably beyond our depth right now. towards courses and intellectual out of the registrar's office? "I than whimsy—it's despair. It's des­ We do know, however, that suddenly achievement, (2) general apathy to­ doubt it." How do you expect the pair which grows out of a terrifying the trivial became important, and wards everything except social life Selective Service System to react awareness of the absurd IMPORT­ that suddenly mob activity became and economic advancement, (3) con­ if a student doesn't sign, and the in­ ANCE of finals, and which expresses necessary for fun, release of ten­ centration of resources on political formation is not sent out?"They've itself in senseless, aimless, destruc­ sion, and/or self-expression. and social activism, and (4) miscell­ got to act on the basis of the infor­ tive activity. .""' mation which they have at hand." We do know, furthermore, that aneous commitments such as THE continued on page 9

PROGRAM HIGHLIGHTS 7 p.m. — "Listner's Choice," classics by 8 p.m. — "Opera from Radio Italiana," request 'til 1 a.m., phone 355-6540during Giordano's ''Andrew Chenier." WKAR FM 90.5 mc the program. Week of Oct. 13-19 Tuesday, Oct. 18 Sunday, Oct. 16 Thursday, Oct. 13 Friday, Oct 14 1 p.m. ~ Musical, "Little Me." 6:30 a.m. -- "The Morning Program," 1 p.m. — Musical, "Carnival." 2 p.m.'— The Cleveland Orchestra in con­ 8:30 p.m. — The Chicago Symphony Or­ classical and modern music, along with 8 p.m. — Opera, Verdi's "Falstaff," with cert. Lucas Foss conducts Chaccone Ine chestra in concert. An all-Vivaldi pro­ newB and weather. Hosted by MikeWise. Tito Gobbl and Elizabeth Schwarzkopf, by Buxtehude - Chavez; Stravinsky's gram conducted by Antonio Janlgro. (Every Monday thrugh Friday.) conducted by Herbert Von Karajan. "Rite of Spring"; Brahms' Symphony 8 a.m. ~ News with Lowell Newton. (Every No. 1 in C. Wednesday, Oct. 19 Monday through Friday.) Saturday, Oct. 15 8 p.m. — "The Toscanlni Era," with Gary 8:15 a.m. — "Scrapbook," music and fea­ Barton. Toscanini conducts music by 1 p.m. — Musical, "Girl Crazy." tures with Steve Meuche. (Monday 11:45 a.m. — "Recent Acquisitions," with Haydn, Mozart, Gluck and Brahms. 8 p.m. — "FM Theater." Dorothy Stick- through Friday.) Gilbert Hansen an<< Ken Beachler dis­ ney in "A Lovely Light," a dramati­ 1 p.m. — Musical, "Lost in the Stars." cussing and listening to new recordings. Monday, Oct. 17 zation of the poems and letters of 9 p.m. — "Jazz Horizons," 'til midnight, 1:15 p.m. ~ MSU-Ohio State football, from Edna St. Vincent Millay. With Bud Spangler. Columbus. 1 p.m. — Musical, "Half a Sixpense." AIM Dear Merit Semi-Finalist, SHIT in green and white

8-hour registration, ATL, CEM—latter-day Mordor bull sessions and Ultimate Questions God-is-dead? no, Nietzsche is after all, someone had to create the universe (2nd thought) " " " " " " " God OK, God-is-dead big deal wonder what i look like in a beard? frats in their regulation dress uniform—brown moccasins, grey slacks, navy blazers, pastel shirts, paisley ties- stare agape "But it must be proved LOGICALLY because, after all, Logic. . ." logic what? greatest blow to the budding mathematician usual product of brightness in elementary Sex, Death, Ffc. school LOGIC WHAT? logic why? even logically, logic why? By LARRY TATE ed on him. All sorts of things that PHL323 (V) after Garelick's usual foray into Heraclitus, might be of great interest to two Nietzsche I saw "Dear John" and "The Sleep­ people in bed, but which (or the rest blasting to remove a tooth ing Car Murder" a long time ago, of us (unless we identify strongly, lawn-mower surgeon with subtitles. {Here, I gather, dub­ which cancels out artistic consider­ beautiful strident bed versions are being shown.) I ations — this, come to think of it, hackwriter poet have neither the time nor inclination is the film's third big gimmick) have the ideas survive and are enhanced— to go and gauge my reaction to ex­ to seem more than a little insipid. EVERYTHING SUCKS1I actly what s at the Campus and the What keeps the audience interested eenie, meenie, minie, moe State right now. Accept my com­ (well, it didn't keep ME interested, pick a value; they all blow ments as tentative, or dismiss them. but let's be generously hypothetical) My intuition tells me that "Dear Is the non-insipid experience of sleep-in on Hannah's lawn John" is a real stinker, though I watching two naked people in bed. brave arrest for THE PAPER have the same problem everybody THAT at least is novel, even if the meaningful? you got something better? . else has in explaining why: the di­ novelty wears off in a hurry. rector has chopped the film up all The ending is a trite little ef­ Dear student, out of sequence, for the most part, fort to create suspense about whether shit in black-and-white presumably to mirror the non-se­ the lovers will get together and live got to get the hell out of this placel next it will be quential workings of the mind but, happily ever after. As if you didn't Dear person and Just as plausibly, to obscure the know. shit engraved in stone and tattooed on your chest blandness of his story. "The Sleeping Car Murder" is a . It seems to me the film has two near-perfect thriller. The director, the big hangup—what does a bright person big gimmicks going for-it. The first, Costa-'Gavras, I've neve* heard' of of little talent "ODvIously.jis sex. Without its end­ before, and I'm not sure whether that do with his life without being less, teasing bed scenes its audi­ tells you more about me or him, but philosophical whore? ence would be Cut by half, if not his work here is, for my money, bet­ maybe I'll commit suicide—but i like pussy too much more. The second is the editing, ter than anything Hitchcock has ever which allows people to watch a sen­ done. The murders, especially, are rusiell lawrenco timental, shatterlngiy ordinary little beautifully stylized, completely chil­ love story and feel noble at the same ling; the actors (most notably, Si- time, because it's Art. After all, mone Signoret) play as if they had no look at how many times we're shown idea they were merely potential vic­ the same scenes; each time we see tims; the script (until the final reels) them again, they take on new mean­ is taut, credible, and mystifying. (A- MSU Film Society ings, don't they? The technique ren­ gain, dubbing could destroy all this.) ders the complexities of a simple People talk again and again about human relationship, doesn't it? It films designed for pure entertain­ Presents MUST; why else would it be used? ment, usually referring to something Well, my own theory Is that the di­ like "Fantastic Voyage" Actu­ rector was trying to conserve film. ally, of course, there are few things This, of course, is just my intui­ harder to do in films than making a The Passion tion talking. It's entirely possible successful pure-entertainment film. that I -just: missed the point. The Hollywood hasn't done it very of­ reason I tend to doubt it is that ten, that's for sure. Could it be pos­ of Joan the scenes that AREN'T out of se­ sible that entertaining people is, after quence (most notably, a trip taken all, an art? With the same percentage by the lovers and the woman s child of failure as all the other arts? "The to the zoo) are so coy, so sugary, Sleeping Car Murder" makes me of Arc so familiar. Sure the film has its think so. virtues: the actors are excellent, I caught up, last week, with "To the photography is clean and realis­ Bed Or Not To Bed," which I liked by Karl Dreyer tic, the dialogue (at least as ren­ very very much. Even terrible dub­ dered by subtitles; dubbing of course bing couldn't ruin it. This is not the ruins everything) seems credible, if place to dlsciiss it at length, but I not especially penetrating. Hell, If it will say that I have no doubt it is a h%d been made In Hollywood it would masterpiece. S p.m. fri. seem miraculous. But this potential The International Film Series pre­ artistry is used to try to make kitsch sented "Through a Glass, Darkly," Oct. 14 look like art, like serving Spam on one of Ingmar Bergman's best films— gold plates. also one of the least understood and The substance of the film, if it moBt underrated. It's one of those members only Union Ballroom has any, consists of the lovers' con­ four-character family tragedies', versations in bed. But what do they like "Long Day's Journey into Night," talk about? Her previous sexual ex­ in which everyone is torn between memberships available at door, $4 for 10 showings perience. His former wife, who cheat­ love and egoism, between trying to help and accepting the impossibility of helping. Except for an unconvin­ cing happy ending (more or less), a terrible and flawless black master­ piece. paramount news center "Golcfringer" and "Dr. No" are the two best Bond films so far, if you care. BliiJj* ^ 545 east grand river Next time (maybe not next week): (new location) "The Shop on MaL Street" and "Mr. still the grooviest news/book store in town Buddwing." A TIME TO PRACTICE BEING HARD:

Jim Thomas dropped out of MSU last year to Join the Marina Corps and fight In Vietnam. I didn't know him than—don't know him now, In a tot of wart—but mat him briefly when he returned here af­ ter basic training, before being shipped out. Ha gava us a few poems and a brief article explaining The Soldier -1966 why he had enlisted (reprinted below), and left. He wrote from San Francisco, then from Vietnam, and we printed some of his things last spring. The tactical problem of combatting "For God and country?" The sol­ We broke for the summer, and I wrote telling him to send me whatever he wrote and we'd print It In the fall. Throughout the summer his letters came regularly, and I followed him from combat to an the guerrilla on his own ground has dier, like his forebears, carries an Isolated non-combat station to combat again, finally to Okinawa for rest and—the letter came Mon­ often been discussed. Gl's, though, idea into a Godforsaken country, day—back to combat again. face another set of troubles more where he fights to maintain it. Yet, I was afraid for him all summer tong, and I'm afraid now. Afraid and jot the risk of sounding moud- subtle, no less important, and too of­ except for some officers and visiting lin| proud, in a way that I'm not at all proud of "our boys." As he said: "I believe in the facts—men ten neglected. They must fight without congressmen, few in Vietnam do any fight wars." Jim may be a soldier, a killer, a victim, but reading his work can, I think, make you un­ der itand that most simple and terrible of truths: "men fight wars." the past's comforts and justifications flag-waving. Somewhere along the Laurence Tate —patriotism, hatred, and illusions line, somebody misplaced the flag. that their war is all-important. In Even more important, though he may If you have anything to say to him, his address Is: Vietnam, there are no columns of Joke—"another guy was killed, yes­ hated Germans, only, perhaps, a six- terday, demonstrating against us L/CPL James C. Thomas 2191461 year-old handing his primed grenade fighting over here"—the soldier 3rd Bn., 3rd Marines to a Jolly green giant. That boy must knows he is sometimes forgotten and be shot, "the job must be done," often disliked by the folks back home. H & S Company (Comm) and yet the act's injustice cannot Civilians have not yet geared for FPO San Francisco, Calif. 96602 quite be glazed over. war, and non-martial matters preoc­ cupy them. During World War II. there was an almost mystic involve­ ment in the war efforts: Dwight Mac- Donald criticized capitalists by at­ tacking Patton's example; and Lucky Strike Greens put on kaild uniforms Said The Master for the duration. Now, though, there are choices: to march in Mississippi, "Well now," said the master, "if you are to patrol the paddies or shuffle along Be free of women, you must quit them." for nothing in particular. The bright, volunteer spirit drives few into the We perceive ourselves laid bare to another, recruiting offices. That enthusiasm Whether in moments of delicacy has been claimed by M-2-M, the Peace Or after, left to silent questionings Corps, "The Paper," which offer ad­ And the length of the strand — to toe patterns venture and usefulness not so close In the sand that proffer no answer. to the bone as combat. To replace a pebble or two, and to face The soldiers I know, at least those Moon s unwalkable path over the waters — who are morally involved, faced with We bare ourselves to another. what they must do and knowing that Know well that I shall discover thee again, the nation isn't fully behind their ef­ For the mind lives by what has seared it: forts, adopt an attitude of grim re­ No fallen star but whose ashes scatter solve. There is no other choice. To the clouds, but whose dying kindles Some poetic eye, or warms the fur March 10 Of a beast that never sees it. "Failing that," said the master, "you must, Where appropriate, accept and enjoy, in joy."

June 20 Phone Conversations On Watch

I send a few examples of propaganda sheets. The conversations below are al­ The strip is self-explanatory. Aimed at both villagers and VC, it is air most verbatim, from a defensive J dropped or scattered by troops on patrol. The little grass shack on the end position on "the front lines" to my panel, of course, covers a grave. j . 27 platoon CP. "C.P.?" CP." "First squad all secure. Negative bull se yes." "Thank you." "Hey, Mac?" "Yeah, J.C.?" "Right. Tim on phone watch af­ ter you?" "Sure. May I take message?" "No, I believe I'll call later. Will Mr. Shine be there an hour from now?" "Most assuredly, sir." "Night, Mac." "Sure." "C.P.?" "C.P." "This is first squad. You all se­ cure over there?" "Yes." "OK. Just checking." "CP.?" "C.P." "Tango India Mike this is Juliette Charlie Tango. Be advised you have cocoa in your handset." "All right, J.C I'll be down for a cup in. . ,uh, ten minutes." "It's ready now, Tim. Come on down." "OK." "Oh, C.P.?" "C.P." "CP., this is first squad all se­ cure, negative bullseyes. Just keep­ ing you from worrying, Tim." "All right. I'll be right down." "OUt." J»ly 3 Notes From

By JIM THOMAS, USMC Vietnam

Night Watch: Monkey Mountain On this height no eagle strains In a Btandard metaphor Against the fall of night: These are the hills of Cain. His exiled crime courses Our hill, though only kites Trace streamwater down from the ruined Springs. Game paths are highways. The junctions, boulders cleated By roots, are guard posts new To tactics. At evening, when haze Rises and dim rain meets Scrub to replenish the sprngs. State Of Things Darkness forces me to. knife; In the shade a personage lies My companions the red Noting the sweep of the battle: Earth and low chatterings. It is the will and the way of the gods. Instructions In the midst of such life . . .and a speech made to us. Not Why must I be so dead? June 26 Out in the sun a mistake occurs; verbatim, but not distorted for any Though but lately burdened with the latest equipment, effect. His boots seem large as all his body. The captain stepped to the center of the rough circle we made. In the shade the warrior lies tagged, "All right, I'm proud of you men, Away from the will of his masters. because you've made Lima Three/ It is the will and the way of his masters. May 16 Three what it is. Most of you are due for rotation back to the States. 1 want you men to know I appreciate what you've done. "For those of you who'll be with Wonders Of War: me when we go back to the field, I have some more to say. In the Vietnamese Children five months I had this company in the field we killed four VC for every Moments ago I stepped on one stone, casualty we took. That's good, but it's Bound for another, and stopped to see not perfection, and perfection is the A miniature, tiger-striped dinosaur goal I have for this company. I be­ Spring from the stream to stand perfectly dry. lieve this is a goal we can achieve. Though, in fact, there wasn't so much to dry You will achieve perfection, because {His insect prey must have been scarce that year), or I'll run your asses into the ground To see, this lizard's personality until you do. Centered in his childlike eyes, the trials in cones "You'll be so hard and so aggres­ Atop his head. He would assault dragon- sive when you get back to the field Flies and not let go, till they winged him to death. that you won't want to shoot those There isn't a need to drag on and on — dirty Charlie bastards. You'll be so For some desires brevity's best — eager you'll want to get his throat in I have still an urge to emasculate your hands and rip it out. You won't All save skinny dinosaurs and their prey. , , ., shoot — you'll close with that mis­ erable bastard and rip his belly with The Fourth Of July your bayonet. And you'll smile when it goes in, and you'll laugh at his expres­ sion when he looks down and tries to A war affects things. You know they're shooting off firecrackers and stuff his guts back in. the manner of changes it has brought, fireworks down below. Far off, about or wrought, upon you. My company's ten miles south of Danang, other "You will kill ten VC for every been rotated off the "front lines" fireworks lights the night sky: flares, scratch you get. You'd better. temporarily, and even though our rockets, once, briefly, a napalm blos­ "Be Marines. Be aggressive. Be present guard post last was hit in som. They are signs and celebrations, hard. That's all." 1954, the acquired reactions linger. lest we forget, lest we forget. ^nd he walked away. Even as I write this, a stubby toad July 4 hops onto a rock, and I nearly shoot it. This afternoon, off watch, I fol­ lowed a stream bed a hundred yards He Who Survives or so down the mountain with camera and book of poetry, bent on an hour's It is an affair between you and me, relaxation in the shade, reading and This momentary madness that allows capturing on film a certain small liz­ Us, who toe no party lines when we're calm. ard I know. Before I left, I cleaned To engage in comparing reflexes, my pistol, loaded it, and stuffed it Winner to walk still, and see. If behind and an extra magazine into a hip These eyes may grow remorse, it should be ours pocket. To hold, together with no bit of balm A week ago, coming back up the Save knowing we shared what mattered to us. mountain with a case of, let us say, What do we care for his so lofty tears. Coke. I jerked out of listlessness on He who survives, since he never was here seeing a perfect cross of sticks To gain a part of our sorrows, our cares, lying on the roadside. VC use such Knowledge of loss at what never will be? as markers for their booby-traps. We died, you and I, when we might have shared The cross was, of course, natural. Rice and a bowl of nuc-doc, which is tea. Just this afternoon, walking among the streamside boulders, I saw, on the August 12 flat surface of one ahead, three square stones whose whiteness con­ trasted with the boulder's gray. This Here we are, together again, aboard an assault ship bound to do battle time I circled 'way around, ap­ against the powers of evil. We 11 hit the beach tomorrow, I can't tell you where, proached from the backside, search­ and my job's to follow a company commander about, keeping him in touch with ing the area, but found no booby- the battalion commander and occasionally calling in helicopters to evacuate trap where the marker, three simple the sick, wounded and dead. Read all about it in the papers. . . stones, said to me there should have Time to practice being hard. been. October 5 Today is Independence Day, and Niche Pitch War Is Good Business By BRAD LANG continued from page 1 The following passages are from the Students for a Democratic is the fact that almost every male doing for the company (he says ''com­ Society leaflet distributed Mon­ student will end up working for these companies in a short-term career pany" with a special warmth and day and Tuesday at "Careers '66" familiarity) to be concerned with in the military-industrial complex. things like that." His mood sudden­ While you are a member of the U.S. ly changes. "Why do you aBk?" Armed Forces, you will be an em­ *'Just curious I guess. . .but is Welcome to Careers '66. Spread ployee of the companies receiving Collins profiting from the war? Di­ out before you are the various wares defense contracts just as surely as of some of the most powerful com­ if your name appeared on their pay­ rectly?" panies in America. All of them are "Well, technological writers are roll lists. here bidding for your services. You, If you are of sound mind and body, so much in demand today that a in turn, are seeking a lifetime career. young man like you could. . .Are you you WILL be drafted. And while you leaving?" Overshadowing all this, however, are fighting and dying in Vietnam, Echoing its reaction to anti-napalm somebody back home will be making demonstrations by SDS in Midland lots of money. last summer, Dow Chemical simply WHY ARE WE SLAUGHTERING replied, "It's a hard thing to get THE VIETNAMESE PEOPLE? excited about." Then again, the last TEN PARTICIPATING CORPORATIONS, WHICH ARE ALSO A6k the representatives of the Boe­ thing to excite Midland was the Cool- ing Company. In the last fiscal year, idge victory of 1924. AMONG THE NATION'S TOP DEFENSE CONTRACTORS they received defense contracts for The final absurdity came from the items to be used in Vietnam total­ ing S297.4 million. These items in­ National Security Agency, a branch Investments Gifts and Grants of the State Department which alleged­ War Materials cluded helicopters, spare parts, and ly specializes in intelligence work. Contracts byMSU, to MSU B-52 aircraft parts. Their annual Their reply: "I can't really state an Fiscal 1966 Fiscal 1965 Fiscal 1965 defense contracts for all items total well over a billion dollars. That's opinion as I haven't seen either the Boeing Company .. leaflet or the distributors yet." I $297,390,624.00 —m a lot of money for a handful of believe one was standing directly a- (helicopters, aircraft parts) human lives. WHY ARE AMERICAN STUDENTS cross from him at the time. General Motors Corp. What companies did respond to 289.098,281.00 $466,967.48 $ 22.356.00 BEING DRAFTED TO FIGHT IN further questioning seemed indiffer­ (aircraft engines, tanks) VIETNAM? ent to the accusations leveled by SDS. Alfred P. Sloan Found. __ __ 7,450.00 Spend a few minutes talking to the According to SDS research, Boeing Oldsmobile Division — — 31,399.00 representatives of Dow Chemical Company received defense contracts ^ ' • Company. Perhaps they can tell you Coil Ins Radio Company 142,270,361.00 — about $28.8 million in defense con­ for items to be used in Vietnam (radar, aircraft and ground radios totalling $297.4 million. Annual de­ tracts for napalm, herbicide, and fense contracts for all items total Chrysler Corporation _. *•> landing mats. For Dow, the burning well over one billion dollars. Is Boe­ 98,367,440.00 alive of the Vietnamese people rep­ ing profiting from the Vietnam war? (tanks, cargo trucks, parts) resents substantial income which they would not receive if there were no The answer: "Actually we have a $3 Ford Motor Company million backlog, but even that's com- 93,939,917.00 210.500.00 8,680.00 war in Vietnam. But why should they merical. Our military backlog is (military trucks, cars) take the blame for these deaths? It's all part of the free enterprise small. . . We're 70 to 80 per cent Ford Foundation commercial. I guess that explains it, — — 1,154,778.41 system. kids. What the hell." Socony Mobil Oil Corp. 53,822,031.00 114,290.00 4.652.00 OR IS IT? Dow admits having $28.8 million (diasel and jet fuel, gasoline) in defense contracts for napalm, herb­ The companies listed abeve~Ttn_ icide and landing mats. Then it de­ Standard Oil Companies 29,651.318.00 the first chart—ed.) are all repre­ nies the significance of the profit (diesel and jet fuel, gasoline) sented at Careers '66. Their total involved. "The profit, if any, is Standard Oil of N.J. ._ 355,646.25 share in the defense budget (based extremely small." After all, what Standard Oil of Ind. __ 127,736.00 ._ on partial figures) totals over one does a $28.8 million contract mean Standard Oil of Ohio 940.50 billion dollars. A billion dollars in a billion dollar company? Small - -- is enough to make some men do change, I'm sure, but not easily given Dow Chemical Company 28,842.559.00 546.221.60 26.712.82 anything, but even that represents up- (napalm, herbicide, landing mats) less than 2 per cent of the. entire External to the SDS question is defense budget, approximately $54 another form of distortion. Or per­ Intl. Business Machines 26,559,520.00 3,206.00 53.020.00 billion. Is a single human life worth haps it's my naivete. Edwin Fitzpa- (data processing, electronics) a billion dollars or 54 billion dol­ trick, assistant director of the Place­ lars? How much is your life worth in cold cash? Ask the people from ment Bureau, commented in the State Whirlpool Company , 6,034.664.00 9.999.00 7.826.49 News (I'm sure it was a joke), "Lib­ Dow and GM and IBM. eral arts majors are in demand in TOTAL $1,065,976,735.00 $1,707.830.331 $1,316,874.98 If you ask. them, they will prob­ the computer industry. They are re­ ably tell you that they would gladly ceptive to training, curious, ques­ stop manufactuing these war ma­ tioning and good at logical thinking, terials if the war were to be won. all necessary for working with com­ SOME OTHER PARTICIPANTS IN 'a&REER S '66' Until then, they will say, we must puter programming and systems." continue to fight the holy war a- I told the lady at IBM I was a brilli­ — AND 1"HEI R TIES TO MSU gainst Communism. We must fight ant liberal arts major, receptive to to preserve freedom in Vietnam, training, curious, etc. Her answer: and if American Corporations make Investments by Msu . Gifts and Grants money from the battle, then that's "Are you sure you wouldn't like to Fiscal 1965 play three-dimensional tic-tac-toe to MSU, Fiscal 1965 the way it has to be. with our new electronic brain? Two U.S. Government $ 17,540,169.21 ._ BUT ARE THEY TELLING YOU people have beaten it already tonight." U.S. Army — $145,980.01 THE TRUTH? "No, thank you. I'm on a bad los­ U.S. Public Health Serv. — 135.567.09 (The leaflet goes on here to quote ing streak right now." U.S. Army, Ryukyus __ 131.017.53 at length from Donald Duncan, the Indisputably, the spotlight of the U.S. Navy -. 106,959.06 former Green Beret who discussed "Careers '66" circus was focused U.S. Air Force -- 93,017.78 in an article in Ramparts Magazine on the Whirlpool astronaut exhibit. National Bank of Detroit 8,778,897.00 — the many reasons he quit the armed Two parts of this were symbolic American Telephone and forces and is now working in op­ of the entire Careers effort: "Pre- Telegraph 1,295,190.00 — position to the war. Among Dun­ launch/Launch Period Urine Collec­ Michigan Bell Telephone Co 48.375.00 — can's reasons are the failure of the tion System" and "Fecal Waste Man­ New York Telephone Co. 9,400.00 — war to appeal to the desires of the agement System." (The caption of the Bell Telephone of Penna. 5,385.00 — Vietnamese people and the nature latter read: "Each astronaut is pro­ Detroit Edison 466.612.00 3,536.00 of the war as a product of an over- vided with one collecting bag per day Consumers Power Company 352,689.60 6,800.00 militaristic government.) plus additional bags depending on Michigan National Bank 300,000.00 — Fifty-four billion dollars. Sixty- length of flight." We may not longer Household Finance Corporation 101,000.00 — five billion dollars by the end of this pray merely for safe lift-offs, man­ Household Finance year. That's a lot of money. euvers and re-entries. We must pray Foundation ~ 3.300.00 If we're not fighting to preserve for regularity.) Prentice-Hall Inc. 75,725.00 — freedom, if the people don't want us, The first remark I heard when I Pan-American World if we have no moral right to be fight­ entered the exhibits was, "Is this rat Airways Inc. 5,525.00 — ing in Vietnam, then WHY ARE WE race really worth it?" Big Business General Foods Fund Inc. 12,000.00 — THERE? Ask the people from Dow must think so or it wouldn't waste Dow Corning Corp. 2,500.00 — and GM and IBM. See if they know Big Top personnel on it. Some Kroger Company 1,000.00 -- the answer. studentB must agree or they wouldn't Stouffer Foods Corp. 500.00 — We know the answer. Donald Dun­ play the part of the monkey. Perhaps can knows the answer. And YOU know if I were interested in systems con­ TOTAL $29,479,080.56 $626,177.47 the answer: trol or component development I might WAR IS GOOD BUSINESS. understand. Questions continued from page 4 A Happy New Year By JIM BUSCHMAN According to Colonel Rodney, Se­ Rodney. lective Service simply wants to know Colonel Rodney was right. At the The school year ahead looks to be gives title to Berkeley. Bubba Smith whether or not the student can make registrar's office I was told, "No, every bit aB exciting as the last one. plays his last college football game, it in four years. When the draft either you sign the card and that Following is a forecast of just-wildly- becomes first draft choice of Detroit board says 15 credits are neces­ gives us the authority to send it or possible events to come in 1966-67: Lions; when questioned if Lions bought sary and the university says 12, the there is no notification." OCTOBER — Zeitgeist Fall Issue him his "Bubbamobile," is quoted as draft board can be talked around. I tiptoed with trepidation up past hits the newsstands — contains new saying, "Nah, I got it with the divi­ The university has yet to lose a stu­ the office of the president to the of­ fold-out pictorial, "Poltergeist of the dends from my GM stock." dent that way, according to Colonel fice of the registrar. To my sur­ Month." DECEMBER — AS MSU Popular prise I quickly found myself chas­ NOVEMBER « MSU completes un­ Entertainment Committee announces ing the facts and the possibilities a- defeated season, is named Number sponsorship of Cassius Clay's next round in circles with a Mr. George One by every news agency except Un­ title defense Winter Term in Jenison Three choruses of despair Da vies, associate registrar. derground Press Syndicate, which Fieldhouse. 0.: What is the purpose of the JANUARY — Hubbard Hall gets (and one shout) Selective Service Information card? four-star rating in 1967 Mobile Tra­ A. It is intended to allow the un­ vel Guide. One is forced to pay a fee^ for iversity to release notification of en­ FEBRUARY — Ramparts Maga­ AS MSU before one can enteir into rollment status. Which-Niche zine publishes expose of MSU pro­ the Multiversity, whether one likes the 0.: Can a student arrange to have jects in East Lansing — President current Student Board or not, whether only a single piece of information continued from page 1 Hannah issues statement saying he one likes the idea of ASMSU at all, or sent? most profit off our war in Vietnam doesn't kndw a thing about it. not. This is robbery. A.: Yes, if he gives his permis­ to recruit new talent. You can' be MARCH — Beaumont Tower de­ One is forced to pay a fee for the sion in writing. sure the corporations themselves will clared obsolete — plans made to State News whether one likes the 0.: Why not do it on the assump­ not furnish you with these statistics, replace it with high-rise, ivy-covered Current Editorial Opinion (??!!) or tion that the student would wish to but rather with information on em­ parking ramp, destined to become hew not, whether one likes the idea of an have his draft board informed of his ployee benefits and advancement op­ Symbol of the University. MSU-guided publication or not. This, student status? portunities. APRIL — Biggie Munn announces too, is robbery. A.: We believe that the student But the first chart suggests some­ that Spartan Stadium will be enlarged, One will be forced to pay a fee for should have the choice. There are thing else. Many of the same cor­ covered with a fiberglass dome — the upcoming All-U radio station, some who arenot even registered with porations which are profiting both claims reason for the move is BO whether one knows what type pro­ Selective Service. from the war and from the career convocation can be held there in any gramming, staff, editorial opinion, 0.: If you only want one thing, why carnival are also integrally tied to weather. etc., will be used, or not, whether does the wording on the card imply Michigan State University's own fi­ MAY — MSU Planning Committee one thinks an All-U radio Btation so much more than enrollment status? nancial operation, either in the form completes plans for Hannah Hall — is necessary, or not. This will be A.: There is also an End of Year of investments of university funds in 48 stories high, with penthouse hotel, robbery. Report. those corporations or in the form of to become the university's first liv­ Suggestion to students who don't O.: What is the End of Year Re­ gifts from those corporations to the ing-learning-loving complex, to be like this sort of practice ("Thou port? university for various purposes- located on South Campus, Just north shalt not Steal"): When you register The Registrar himself suggested directed research, scholarships, of Indiana State Line. for the winter term, don't pay these that I should take this up with Colonel specific curricular programs which JUNE — Bubba Smith graduates, fees. Holmes himself, head of the Selective suit the corporations' needs, phil­ becomes first draft choice of United HA HA HA HA HA HA HA Service System in Michigan. anthropic work supported by the cor­ States Army — is quoted as saying, HA HA HA. porations which the university exe­ "I ain't got no quarrel with them Next Week (Or Later): cutes. Interesting connection. Viet Congs either." SETH MeEVOY Colonel Holmes Speaks Out The second chart contains simi­ lar information concerniagottercor- porate and governmental participants Jas^Careers *66" which don't happen Crossword to be major defense contractors pro­ fiting from the war. These are simply by THE LOUNGE strong forces in our society which appreciate the university's role as a ACROSS preparer of students for participa­ tion in their businesses—and whose 1. Greeting (Sw.) role as financers and subsidizers of 6. Health food land-grant education the university 11. Polish appreciates and is willing to under­ 12. , Bator write by means of the annual career 13. Grand Duchesses, abbr. carnival. 14. Bestial All in the interests of the stu­ 16. Gold (heraldry) dents? Perhaps. Look at the charts, 17. Extinct bird read Gregg Hill's article, and decide 18. Treebeard (Tolkein) for yourself. 19. Chemical Company Next week, THE PAPER will look 21. Chicago transportation into the broader question of how the system university is economically tied to the 2 . Annoying insect "power structure" of this country, 23. Layer and specifically to those forces which 25. Former major league support the war in Vietnam for what pitcher may not be completely idealistic rea­ 27. Albert's prop (Walt sons. In two weeks, we will be look­ Kelly) ing at the war economy as a whole 29. Medieval duchy and how it is affecting things. 32. Dr. Strange villain For all three of these articles, we 33. Expensive - looking are grateful to MSU Students for a foreign car Democratic Society for the research 34. Campus building which has made our questioning pos­ 38. A letter (two wds.) ANSWER NEXT WEEK sible. 39. Lansing Bar^^Room M.K. 40. State legislature, abbr. 41. Industrial heart of 9. Prefix E.E.C. 10. "Actor" — last name VfeKirVUrTM; SMART ASS OF THE WEEK (Reut­ 42. WW It military unit in 13. Celt ers news item headlined "Boy Shakes Africa 15. Penetrate ftianra n arc 1,000 Hands"): "Peter Vickers, a 44. FrenCh conjunction 16. Poetic contraction schoolboy, shook hands 1,000 times 45. A..___ (remember?) 20. Latin abbreviation fekli s WMrnHlo in an hour and a half Saturday to try 46. Legendary kingdom 23. to prove that Royalty had an easy life 47. Pronoun (Fr.) 24. Orlando W. , tm mn uin 26. Deity and then said, 'My right hand is cer­ 27. klfelMhlMlAlLMU tainly a bit tired.' Peter had dis­ DOWN Burial place of William puted his teacher'8 statement that the Conqueror Queen Elizabeth had an onerous time 28. Bay (I think — ed.) on meet-the-people tours, when she 2. Arabic name 30. Religious capital might shake 1,000 hands a day." 3. Type of ox 31. Quarter •a ann mm uniting 4. Goodrich 32. Afr. name 5. Memorial Day speed­ 35. Type of wrench (Bo­ i3dr3B m mm WHAT'S IN A NAME DEPART­ sters hemian) . MENT (Item from the State News): 6. Tent 36. ABH n mnrmn "A headline in Wednesday's State , 7. Old Aramaic 37. Type of gear News incorrectly identified a recent 8. MSU second - string 43. First name. Sax Roh- campus speaker, GerhartH.Seger, as middle guard 1965 mer char. an ex-Nazi. He was, instead, a form­ Last Week's er Nazi political prisoner." continued from pog« 3

his manner. I could see him in an Alan Sillitoe movie. Harrison had stopped talking. I swung up a hand. The M.C. indicated to another questioner down front that I was next, pointed to me, and said: "Sir." "Mr. Lennon. TIME magazine re­ cently put a rather, uh, sinister in­ terpretation on the lyrics of your song 'Norwegian Wood' " (A kind of snicker ran around the room, Paul laughed, John smiled, and I perse­ vered.) '*.-. .and I was wondering if you could tell us what you, uh, had in mind when you wrote the song." The snicker died away. Lennon seemed amused. Our eyes met. His smile broadened and broadened, be­ came almost conspiratorial. "It means exactly what it says:" he told her gently, "nothing." Everyone laughed, I muttered in­ audible thanks, and the questioning picked up again. Would the Beatles like to enter­ tain American troops in Vietnam? Laughter. "We wouldn't like to go anywhere near Vietnam!" More laughter. Where cud the Beatles plan to spend their non-working days in America, since they are going to have a couple? "We are?" asked Paul. He looked at the M.C. and blinked. Were the Beatles responsible for London's being called a Swinging City? Smiles. "Nothing to do with us." What did John plan to do to make up to his wife Cyn for the fact that the-date of his performance in Shea I raised my hand again and was is dead, or what?" tion using the word "sithar." "—al­ Stadium was also the date of their recognized. The only question I had Paul explained about stories a- ways looking for little ethnic things wedding anniversary. "Is it?" asked left (My second question — "Hey, gain, and then added: "And it means to bring into our music," John was John. "Thanks." Paul, what ABOUT 'Yellow Submar­ he's not a very successful vicar." saying. "We just stumbled across What ABOUT that original album. ine*?" — had already been taken, Hey, John, what ABOUT Prime Indian music; welK$tfF^p-**}kia& cover for "Yesterday and Today"? and it had never occurred to me that Minister Wilson's austerity program? for it." "Well," said Paul, "the photographei I would be able to ask more than Laughter. "We wish him good luck," Someone asked % about the possi­ said to us, 'Put this meat on you,* three.) was a bit of deliberate setting- said John gamely; I wish I had bility of the Beatles' breaking up. Paul so we did, you know. It wasn't our up, a straight line, almost. thought to ask him, "Hey, John, will fielded this one: *?Well, we have to idea, and when people complained, "Why do you call —" I said, and there always be an England?" recognize the possibility. I mean, we we withdrew it. That's all." was drowned out in a swell of noise. Hey, John, what ABOUT that cow­ can't go on like this forever.'But I "You didn't like the idea, then?" "WHY DO YOU CALL YOUR NEW boy movie you were going to do? think it won't be so much a case of George Harrison leaned forward: ALBUM 'REVOL— " This referred, presumably, to the breaking up; more of a . . . .natur­ "We didn't like it well enough to sup­ "Because it revolves," Paul Mc­ movie Richard Lester had once plan­ al progression." port it." Cartney said innocently. "Goes a- ned to make from Richard Condon's "You mean there may be a natural Did it make John happy that the of­ round, y'know." He half-rose from "A Talent for Loving.") "That's out. progression?" ficial Vatican newspaper had forgiven his seat and did about two seconds That's been out for a long time." "Yes, a natural progression." him his sins? "If it makes other of Peppermint Twist to show me Nan Randell was recognized again. "This has to be the last question!" people happy," said John cheerfully, what a revolving album looks like. She read: "Of all the people you've A forest of hands went up. The M.C. "it makes me happy." This was a crowd pleaser; there was met, royalty, movie stars, celebri­ hesitated, and pointed. scattered applause. I reflected that ties, who do you like best — as a "Ringo, since you've named your I had seen it coming, anyway. Ask a group?" It sounded like the other first child Zak, what name have you silly question. prize-winning question, although I picked to follow up with — for your Had the Beatles ever thought of suspected that the last three words second child." doing a Broadway musical? were an editorial addition prompted "What crap," said someone on my CLASSIFIEDS "Oh, we've THOUGHT about it," by the Beatles' reaction, which was right. said John, spreading his hands. instantaneous. Ringo shrugged ir­ "I don't know," said Ringo. He _, or» anemic Everyone's THOUGHT about it. Paul ritably. Who do you like best, your thought. "Ben?" explained that they doubted if their mother or your father? George's John flashed a smile, raised a fin­ Offers "****" music was Broadway material, since lip curled. John spread his hands ger, and silence fell. "IT MAY BE it wasn't "fifty years out of date, and sighed Only Paul, eyes half A GIRL!" said John triumphantly, and LOBO IS HEREI Rent a real were­ closed, head tilted back, seemed to wolf for your Halloween bash. Guar­ like yours." He clapped a hand over it was all over. There was ragged his mouth in mock horror. "Oops, be making a genuine effort to re­ applause. Paul gulped down the last anteed to repulse and be generally member. A faint smile passed a- vile. Call his manager at 353-2080, there I go again. What I mean is of his Pepsi and followed the others this: Well, take 'Hello, Dolly!" for cross his face—Scheharazade' try­ out. a6k for Lon. Parties with silvei ing to pick her favorite Arabian bullets need not apply] instance — WONderful song, NOTH- ing wrong with it — but it could have Nights tale. Suddenly his face clear­ A tedious wait in the Press Box, been a hit fifty years ago, if you see ed and - grew almost soleranv He watching the breeze catch the signs LEGALIZE ABORTION. Libertarians what I mean. Apparently everyone did. looked gravely out at his audience. in the crowd at the near end of the and humanitarians sufficiently con­ "Reporters," he said piously; then Stadium: WAVE!, LOVEYA ALWAYS, cerned to campaign for legalization Had Ringo lost weight? John made his lips twitched and he broke down, HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO (in a of abortion and to organize and under­ a Joke I didn't catch about how many hunching up his shoulders to ward heart) JOHN & CYN. The truest piece write a local group are invited to stone Ringo weighed. "What's that?" off invisible blows. There were scat­ of esoterica was in the deserted up­ contact Legalize Abortion, POB asked Ringo, lifting his chin off his per tier over center field, out of fist. "Were you asleep?" "No, I*m tered cheers. 24163, Los Angelest Calif. 90024. range of the best long ball hitters in Just resting." Please don't wake me The pace had slowed, the raised the American League: a flapping cloth no don't shake me/ Leave me where hands had thinned out, and 1 realized sign decorated with two stylized eyes, I am I'm only sleeping. "I Just that I could probably get in another like the ones on Odysseus' ship, and Where are the rest of the classi­ thought you looked thinner, that's all." question, or even two, if I could only the legend: "YOU WON'T SEE ME." fieds? Don't ask us. We're at 351- "Well, I'm not. I don't think/' think of them. But I had an attack of 7373 all the time waiting for calls, Hey, Paul, what ABOUT Father the paralysis one sometimes feels in Finally the Remains walked out to and we pick up our mail at Box Mackenzie darning his socks in the dreams; the more urgently I tried the bandstand on second base, tuned 367, East Lansing, every day. There night when there's nobody there? to think, the faster my thoughts came up, and began to play their hearts out" Just aren't any there. Make us happy "It just means what it says," said back to the starting point. Hey, John, ("If you dunno how to do it/ I'll 1 and fill next week's classified col­ Paul, gesturing helplessly. "You what ABOUT Bob Dylan? Another show you how to walk the dog.") i umn. know, a story, it's just a story, you straight line, a waste of ammuni­ found my attention wandering. No . nsiuaiBa»uuu know, a story." tion. Hey, John, what ABOUT organ­ charisma. "Well what about'writing the words ised religion? Bad form. Hey, John, At 8:33 two black limousines backed ; 50 words/ $1 (che<*) What ABOUT Vedanta? What, indeed7 of the sermon that no one will hear'?; : out to the bandstand, and the Stadium What's that mean? Does it mean God Someone had asked another ques­ was suddenly transported to the Battle that the topic had only been grazed a of the Somme. Flash! Flash! Flash!' "She's a Woman." Three large couple of times. "After attacking went third base line. Flash] Flash! spots zeroed in on the bandstand, Broadway musicals as 'fifty years out Flash! FLASH! FLASH! came the creating twelve jerky shadow - of date,* Paul McCartney dropped answering fire from first base line. Beatles on the left-field wall. "If the bombshell of the conference by But the limousines stayed put, while I Needed Someone." ("Carve your announcing that he and John plan to Bobby Hebb sang, and the Ronettes, number on my wall/ And maybe you write their own musical." As I un­ and the Cyrkle. The quality of sound will get a call from me.") "Day derstood him, McCartney had said was roughly comparable to that of a Tripper." "Baby's in Black." ("She only that they had CONSIDERED writ­ crystal Set. It was beginning to get thinks of him/ And so she dresses ing a musical, but that they had seri­ dark. in black/ And though he'll never come ous doubts if their music would lend "Lights!" shouted the audience. back/ She's dressed in black.") itself to a Broadway production. "John The cry had something like desper­ "I Feel Fine." Halfway through, seemed unconcerned that the concert ation in it: "Lights!*' George separated from the group was being picketed by the JCu Klux At 9:30 the WEAM team climbed on for a few seconds and did a spastic Klan." As well he might, I thought, stage, tested the sound system ("one, little dance step. Ten thousand girls SCRIPT FOR ANYONE WHO MAY since according to WRC-TV the pick­ two, thirteen-ninety on your dial!"), screamed as though physicall shock­ HAVE READ THIS FAR: "Riding eting had been called off days before. and then explained how the concert ed. home, I heard another example of This kind of thing is not very im­ would just have to stop, REALLY, if "Yesterday." A three-minute sup­ what might be called the Heisenberg portant, to put it mildly, on a late even a few people left their seats. ernova of Sylvania blue-dot bulbs. principle of journalism (that nothing night news broadcast about the Beatles There was hissing. They next tried "I Wanna Be Your Man." A teen­ ever gets reported quite the way it (no one's opinion on anything that to get the audience to sing along ("We age boy in a Mod shirt infiltrated happens), something I have been no­ matters are likely to be changed as love you, Beatles/ Oh, yes we do"), through the first line of police in ticing a lot lately. A WBZ (Boston) a result of believing in those non­ were booed, and had to finish alone, the vicinity of the home dug-out, announcer, describing the D. C. press existent Klansmen or that non-exist­ off-key, lapped in waves of hate. then broke into a power run that conference for his listeners, said that ent musical), but I wonder if some­ At 9:37, the Beatles appeared from carried him through an unsuspect­ the conference's "central topic" had thing similar might not occasionally the neighborhood of home plate (the ing second line of police to the been John's remarks on religion. It happen in the important and respect­ limousines had been a blind, of course) bandstand itself. He valuted on stage seemed to me, there in the same room, able stories on page one. and the pent-up libidinal energy of in one motion and managed to swipe thirty-thousand teenage girls went George Harrison's sleeve and clamp off like a demolition bomb. Harnessed a hand on John's shoulder before for peaceful purposes, it could have angry cops carried him away, his Numerical Crossword lit D; C. Stadium for a year, or flown eyes bulging comically out of his the Beatles back to England. head. By DALE WALKER After some unheard introductory "Paperback Writer." And finally, comments, the Beatles launched into "Long, Tall Sally." Chuck Berry's "Rock 'n' Roll Music" Here, puzzle fans, is a new cross­ number. Simple? "Nowhere Man," with what sound­ word-type diversion created especi­ and the Battle of the Somme had its ed like improvised lyrics in a couple Well, we can't make it too simple. finest hour. Three-hundred-foot sha ally for Multiversity students. It is There are some course names which r of choruses. A last-ditch effort to a wonderful opportunity for you to dows jumped frantically back and break through police lines was foiled will lead you to long lists of se­ forth from baseline to baseline, con­ employ many of the skills with which quence numbers corresponding to dif­ as cops lifted a couple of girls com­ your Multiversity training has pro­ fusing the eye, until the bandstand pletely in the air before carrying ferent sections of the same course. seemed to be hanging in space, sup­ vided you: looking up numbers in little Notice that you have not been pro­ them off. Goodbyes from John, un­ books, writing numbers in little boxes, ported only by whirling black wings. heard in the general sobbing. The vided with any section numbers in the Gradually the whole infield was suf­ decoding computerese abbreviations, clues. Beatles waved, repaired to their lim­ hunting for unusually easy courses... fused with pure bright light, brighter ousine, and disappeared out the right HAVE FUN, Baby! than day. The sound (not the plangent field exit, following the sun. The last Believe it or not, the university rock beat, which could hardly be person I saw as I left was the London has equipped each student with the Across heard, but the awful Wllliwaw of the Daily Telegraph man. His banner was crossword puzzle "dictionary" which audience) was incredible even in the still furled and he still looked un­ he will need to do this exercise. It a) SLIP FREE MOLE FLO Press Box; in the stands it must happy. has a greenish cover and is curious­ b) BRASS CORNET have been unimaginable. Artificial ly titled: "Fall 1966 -- Time Sche­ c) LAB FLD EXP GEN trip. MORE-OR-LESS SERIOUS POST dule for Courses." In this puzzle d) PERSONAL HYGIENE all of the clues are the names of e) AM TGT LANG actual bourses offered at MSU. The f) SP PROB FISH BIO answers are all course sequence numbers. All course names appear exactly as they are given in the Down course book. g) ADV ORAL FRENCH (wow) Your task is simple. Simply de­ h) CLEFT PALATE (oops) code the computerese, if necessary, i) PADDLE BALL try to determine which department j) NO SCH CRSE offers the course in question and k) SCUBA DIVING browse through your course book 1) ADV WOODWORK, until you find the required sequence

9

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. . . .THE FOREST FOR THE TREES DEPARTMENT: "Zonebomb­ ing halts to allow violations check." —State News headline Next Week: SIGNS OF THE TIMES DEPART­ MENT: Sign seen in Bennington Com­ Exiles of Sin, Incorporated mons, Bennington College, Benning­ ton, VERMONT: "POT in every a strange, startling Jook at some CHICK." inhabitants of San Francisco's un­ **• derground, told with candor and a kind of compassion .. by Laurence Tate EUPHEMISM AWARD: Sign over the gate of a veterans' cemetery on 1-96: "Michigan Veteran's Facility." With One Eye Open A Dictionary of University Slang

COOL: a noun, not an adjective, by freshman coeds, will bring on SCUZZIES go to see SCUZZIES which one maintains in inverse a state of acute hysteria. and BEARDED NONSCUZZIES and By BRADFORD A. LANG proportion to AGGRAVATION. OFF-CAMPUS: a place where one confuse the two and call them AGGRAVATION: ATL 111, HUM 231, goes to get an education. COMMUNISTS. There are certain words which, al­ and the Class Card Arena. ON-CAMPUS: a place where one goes COMMUNIST: a frustrated person. though they are integral parts of UN-AMERICAN: anything remotely to get a degree. WATER CARNIVAL: an improper di­ every college student's vocabulary, connected with relevance. BERKELEY: a mythical place to which version. are relatively new additions to the CLOSING HOUR: that point after which bad administrators and good stu­ POPULAR ENTERTAINMENT SER­ English language. These words are sexual intercourse may prove fatal. dents are sent. IES: another improper diversion, apt to cause puzzlement and even UNFETTERED LEARNING: as much ARMED FORCES: where bad little but more expensive. consternation among the adult middle a part of MSU as the Gobi Desert. boys go. FERLINGHETTI: another improper class, they having been brought up MIXER: a social function during which WARNING PROBATION: a state of diversion, but more POPULAR. with an entirely different set of col­ students from high schools sur­ suspended animation, during which PAPERBACK: a mythical booksaidto lege slang words. There are also rounding a college meet one an­ business continues as usual and be inexpensive. words which, although they have long other and lie about their identities. life goes on in its maniac pace. SPARTY: a large traffic obstruction been included in the standard Eng­ RAMPARTS MAGAZINE: MSU's un­ SUSPENSION: the Final Solution. surrounded by dogs and fraternity lish dictionary, have been given whol­ derground conscience. 1-A: a state of being, in the absence men. ly new definitions by the college gen­ COURSE: an ill-defined concept with of which young men over the age LAND GRANT MAN: a super-hero erations of the sixties. These two a well - defined numerical value of eighteen are allowed to go on whose secret identity has a secret groups of words are included in the which, if collected in sufficient living. identity. following concise Dictionary of Un­ quantities, will enable the STU­ SPRING BREAK: a period of devout LAND GRANT ACT: according to the iversity Slang. Any semblance of DENT to pass GO and collect two spiritual meditation, most of which STATE NEWS, "America's most alphabetical order is purely func­ hundred dollars. takes place on the banks of the significant educational law." tional accident. RIOT: according to MSU sociologists, Great Atlantic Ocean. STATE NEWS: a thick blanket used to a spontaneous uprising of STU­ UNION: a building solely for the use wrap garbage, a practice often STUDENT: a mythical being said to DENTS caused entirely by the ac­ of STUDENTS from which several known as fighting fire with fire. inhabit the swamps surrounding the tion of one person shouting up at STUDENTS have been seen being JUSTIN MORRILL COLLEGE: see Red Cedar River. a row of glass windows. dragged by uniformed men. HONORS COLLEGE. STUDENT LIFE: a state of being HONORS COLLEGE: A REAL col­ RUSH: a social event during which UNIVERSITY COLLEGE: see a doc­ prohibited to the STUDENT. lege, as differentiated from the well-dressed, handsome young peo­ tor. DORM: a gigantic building full of un­ regular college, which is not a ple shake one another's hands and WEST CIRCLE DRIVE GROUP: a col­ padded cells in which STUDENTS REAL college. divulge irrelevant information. lection of hip nunneries. undergo the Rites of Passage. ROSE BOWL: an event before and af­ CSR: a now defunct communist front HIGH CAMP: Steve Badrich; not know­ DORMGRILL: an arena in which ter which there are great parties. group thwarted in its attempt to ing who Steve Badrich is. Christians are thrown to t h e lions, MIDTERM: an event said to be a part corrupt the minds of MSU stu­ ENGLISH DEPARTMENT: where you but subtly, subtly. of the COURSE, which everyone dents because of a lack of mater­ learn not to end sentences with is. REGISTRATION: a fearsome ordeal complains about but few have ac­ ial with which to work. LSD: a non-addictive drug which, if through which the STUDENT must tually experienced. ADMINISTRATION: an organization consumed in sufficient quantities pass in order to continue his ED­ WELCOME WEEK: an event which which does not bother to try to on the MSU campus, will cause UCATION. neither lasts a week nor is wel­ corrupt the minds of MSU students, the STUDENT to see police and the EDUCATION: a fearsome ordeal come. but instead concentrates on their police to see ADDICTS. through which the STUDENT must ONE A.M.: that point at which Cin­ sex organs. ADDICT: a person who is addicted to' pass in order to continue his SUM­ derella would turn into a pumpkin SCUZZY: a person who wears a LSD. MER VACATION. if Cinderella were an MSU coed. BEARD. LSD: a non-addictive drug. SUMMER VACATION: a three-month EIGHT A.M.: a mythical time designa­ BEARD: something worn by a scuzzy. ADDICT: a person who is addicted period during which most STU­ tion. BEARDED NONSCUZZY: a frustrated to LSD. DENTS flee in terror from the CIGARETTE: a substance which, if person. TRUTH: a fragile thing. banks of the Red Cedar. consumed in sufficient quantities SPIRO'S: where NONBEARED NON- FINISHED: this silly list.