Palace Coup at Werksmans
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R2880 news you’re not supposed to know (including VAT ) noseweek 80JUNE Palace coup 2006 at Werksmans The man who shot the dog who ate the chicken Wild Bill Venter falls for schlenter Food and crime 2 noseweek May 2006 SUBSCRIBE to noseweek and SAVE R68 on the shop price: see PAGE 29 JUNE2006 ISSUE80 Don’t June me skeef – we’re almost halfway through year already and Illustration: DR JACK I still haven’t 8 Palace coup at got your ad! Werksmans 4 Letters Lester’s Sleepy Hollow n Back on top with Black Top n Beemer me up! n Springbok colours for noseweek n Eek! The Grahamstonians are coming! 5 Dear Reader Home truths n Voters don’t want shit in their water 6 Mr Nose In Memorium: Stella Sigcau n Hlophe, faith and charity 12 Flight to nowhere South Africa appears to have been party to the illegal abduction of a Pakistani national KEN FORRESTER WINES 16 Head to head at Sasol Recruitment consultants are scrabbling over the hefty commission for recruiting an executive at the petrochemical giant 19 The man who shot the dog who ate the chicken Passion, death and revenge in Sandbaai 22 Venter renter schlenter The Great Dr Bill is not expected to be pleased Contact when the world discovers that his son-in-law gulled him Adrienne de Jongh 23 Minister sinks port plan Mfeketo was all at sea [email protected] 24 A load of Bush Never misunderestimate the president 25 Law of the B®and Absolut madness 26 Food and crime Why should a link between diet and behaviour be Advertise suirprising? 28 Web dreams We’re all doomed, doomed NOW! 30 NoseArk Greenie, green thyself! 32 Wine The grapes of wrath in noseweek 34 Last Word Squirrel cage SUBSCRIBE to noseweek and SAVEnoseweek R68 May 2006 on the shop price: see PAGE3 29 Letters Lester’s Sleepy Hollow year to almost R13,000. taking photos on their pocket when I enter my bank’s As a property owner in And then there are the cellphone cameras! security doors. “sleepy Kenton-on-Sea” council’s attempts to address Late on 13 April Black Top I have cancelled all my I read with interest your the annual water shortage phoned to say they would pay insurance policies and set up latest report (nose79) on the by commissioning a scheme me and remove my company, a trust instead, as the revolt Mathew Lester house saga. to draw water from the SignMax, from their vendor list! in me grows each time I hear Bushman’s River. The council of yet another person suckered The claim by the Ndlambe I was happy about the gave the contract to a local BEE out of his hard-earned money. Council’s Angus Schlemmer payment but sad at being company that collapsed. We live in an ANC-based that the original building dropped – I always delivered An investigation of the community. The businesses on Lester’s property “is an a good quality product on time. Ndlambe Municipality could On 18 April I was paid – a in town owned by politicians outbuilding and as such is reveal a much juicier saga are no secret; the partiality permitted” is both inaccurate cheque went into my account. than Mathew’s Monstrosity as There is something I’ve to certain groups when it and outrageous. This so-called it is known to many locals. never understood in the comes to tenders is well “outbuilding” was the home of T Murray 20 years I’ve been an known. There are hundreds Lester’s parents for a decade Kenton-on-sea entrepreneur: Why do some of municipal mismanagement or two and it became his home. people not see paying as a cases waiting to be uncovered. And one of the prof’s latest Back on top with Black Top natural follow-up to buying? And yet, the President claims, tricks has been to attempt Thanks for your piece about “I’m watching you, corrupt to subdivide his property Black Top Surfaces (nose79). Theo Vermaak councillors”. Is it a question of (against council regulations), On 12 April 2006 I hitched Witbank “I like corruption – I can watch it for hours”? Bribery is so common that a friend in the mining-supply industry gets a monthly budget for bribing. Wait, I hear a stampede … oh, it’s the Sewende Laan/Huisgenoot club lynching non-believers. Please presumably so he can sell off my banner trailer and Beemer me up withhold my name as they the half with the so-called travelled the 100km from Thanks for running the story know where I live. outbuilding as a separate Witbank to Benoni on business of my problems with my BMW Harry Kalahari home. and my last stop was at Black (nose79). Springbok The main culprit is the Top Surfaces, Benoni – 10 The response has been Ndlambe Council (which, so I minutes before their staff amazing – BMW SA and Jhb The Grahamstonians are coming! “was informed at a ratepayers’ knocks off! I parked in front of Cuty Auto and” Motorite have In recent months I’ve noticed meeting in December, is some their gate and soon there was agreed to either have the car a very marked increase R50-million in the red). My a lot of movement. fixed at their cost and to pay in the number of Cf (ie rates have, in just two years, Some staff gave me the the costs I’ve incurred over the Grahamstown) registered with the help of a revaluation thumbs up, others seemed past 16 months, or to scrap the vehicles in and around the and then an unexplained hike, not happy and management car and sort out the outstand- Western Cape, far more than gone from just under R4,000 a popped out of their offices ing debt and past costs. one would expect. I’m guessing Thanks to Litha and Peter there must be an economic at JCA and Aaron at BMW reason for it, eg insurance Gus SA, who weren’t aware of the scam, licence fees etc. I asked scale of the problem and are a driver of one such vehicle now satisfied that my inten- about it and he just smiled ... tion is not to defraud anyone. Could one of your sleuths Thanks to noseweek’s Jack check it out? Lundin for achieving in a few Ray Botha days what I couldn’t get done Newlands, Cape Town in 16 months. The entire noseweek office was The only player who hasn’t sunk into deep depression at come to the party (no surprise) the prospect of an invasion is Aston Auto, who continue of Cape Town by scamming ducking and diving. I have Grahamstown hicks. Then received permission to hold a a distant memory slowly picket outside their showroom. surfaced: Many, many years Julian Rod ago when the Eastern and Johannesburg Western Cape provinces went their separate ways, the Bok colours for noseweek former adopted an entirely Only one of Springbok’s six new vehicle registration shops sells noseweek – buried system. The CF prefix became under subversive trash like obsolete in the Easteren Cape Huisgenoot and Die Son. and now indicates parts of I love the way you expose Greater Cape Town, among the constant bullying of the them Kuils River. Keep up middle class by the banks. the sterling work with those BARBARIAN DREAMS I feel the money leaving my conspiracy theories! – Ed 4 noseweek May 2006 Dear Reader Tel: (021) 686 0570 Fax: (021) 686 0573 nosew- [email protected] www. Home truths Editor Martin Welz HE CURRENT SCANDAL surround- our government repeatedly declares its com- Managing editor ing the Department of Home Affairs mitment to the rule of law. If it were true, we Marten du Plessis Tbrings to mind a joke that was doing would be deserving of the world’s respect. the rounds on the internet three years ago. But, back at the ranch, it seems, It’s worth repeating: we have a bunch of hoodlums in our Production editor “US Attorney General John Ashcroft was government and public service who have Tony Pinchuck speaking at an elementary school about no respect for our Constitution or the law. rights and freedoms in America. ‘Any In fact, when it comes to our dealings Gauteng bureau questions,’ he asked. A little boy raised his with the outside world, they are anyone’s Jack Lundin hand. ‘My name is Billy, and I have two handlanger for 10 cents. In short, we have questions. First, why are you using the no self-respect. Consulting editor Patriot Act to limit Americans’ civil liber- The connivance of our government and Ann Donald ties? Second, why haven’t any weapons senior officials in the abduction from of mass destruction been found in Iraq?’ South Africa of Khalid Rashid by foreign Censor-in-chief Just then the bell rang, and Ashcroft intelligence agents (see page 12) is a case Len Ashton stated, ‘We’ll resume after recess.’ Recess in point. ended and Ashcroft again asked, ‘Are there What they did was not only illegal and Reporter any questions? A little girl raised her wrong, it was stupid – the sort of action Jacqui Kadey hand. ‘My name is Julie, and I have four that invites reprisals. All they need have questions. First, why are you using the done was apply the law. Cartoons Patriot Act to limit Americans’ civil liber- As the public figures most centrally Gus Ferguson ties? Second, why haven’t any weapons involved, Minister of Home Affairs Myke Ashley-Cooper of mass destruction been found in Iraq? Nosiviwe Mapisa-Nqakula and her three Third, why did the recess bell ring 10 min- most senor officials, owe it to the country Contributors utes early? Fourth, where’s Billy?’” to resign without delay.