RIP THIS PAGE OUT Razorcake LV D ERQD¿GH QRQSUR¿W PXVLF PDJD]LQH GHGLFDWHG WR If you wish to donate through the mail, PLEASE supporting independent music culture. All donations, subscriptions, please rip this page out and send it to: and orders directly from us—regardless of amount—have been large Razorcake/Gorsky Press, Inc. components to our continued survival. $WWQ1RQSUR¿W0DQDJHU PO Box 42129 Razorcake has been very fortunate. Why? By the mere fact that Los Angeles, CA 90042 we still exist today. By the fact that we have over one hundred regular contributors—in addition to volunteers coming in every week day—at a time when our print media brethren are getting knocked down and out. Name What you may not realize is that the fanciest part about Razorcake is the zine you’re holding in your hands. We put everything we have into Address it. We pay attention to the pragmatic details that support our ideology. Our entire operations are run out of a 500 square foot basement. We don’t outsource any labor we can do ourselves (we don’t own a printing press or run the postal service). We’re self-reliant and take great pains E-mail WRFRYHUDERRPLQJIRUPRIPXVLFWKDWÀRXULVKHVRXWVLGHRIWKHPXVLF Phone industry, that isn’t locked into a fair weather scene or subgenre. Company name if giving a corporate donation 6RKHUH¶VWRDQRWKHU\HDURIJULWWHGWHHWKKLJK¿YHVDQGVWDULQJDW disbelief at a brand new record spinning on a turntable, improving our Name if giving on behalf of someone quality of life with each spin. Donation amount If you would like to give Razorcake some assistance beyond donations, we’re looking for volunteers in the following areas: non- 5D]RUFDNH*RUVN\3UHVV,QFD&DOLIRUQLDQRWIRUSUR¿WFRUSRUDWLRQLVUHJLVWHUHG SUR¿W JUDQW ZULWHU QRQSUR¿W IXQGUDLVHU QRQGRXFKH\ SXEOLFLVW RXU th as a charitable organization with the State of California’s Secretary of State, and has 50 LVVXHDQQLYHUVDU\LVFRPLQJXS )LOH0DNHU3URZL]DUG3&QHWZRUN EHHQJUDQWHGRI¿FLDOWD[H[HPSWVWDWXV VHFWLRQ F  RIWKH,QWHUQDO5HYHQXH specialist, graphic designer (deep knowledge of InDesign required), and Code) from the United States IRS. Our tax ID number is 05-0599768. Your gift is website coder (PHP-Nuke and Zen Cart). If you live in the L.A. area, tax deductible to the full extent provided by law. we could always use a helping hand. Our door is open. Contact us via www.razorcake.org if you’d like to help out. Thank you. –Todd Taylor

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Without you, this magazine would not exist and we wouldn't be able to print pictures of board member Leo Tober III in his bat girl costume. razorcake.org Fuck You, Dale I’m a fan of doing stupid shit. Well-planned, long-term stupid was when we were duplicating the CDs for the reviewers, the song shit. It keeps me amused. As many may know, I’m a big fan of the sequence got knocked out of whack on some—if not all—of the EDQG'LOOLQJHU)RXU0DQ\\HDUVDJRZKHQ,ZDVZRUNLQJDWFlipside, burns. Those who are familiar with D4 know that their albums are Erik, one of D4’s singers, said, “Todd, did you know that you guys layered. I knew that the reviewers would need lyrics and the correct have reviewed Midwestern Songs of the Americas at least once an song order to write well-informed reviews, but I also knew this hair- issue for about a year and a half?” I smiled at him, not thinking that EUDLQHG VFKHPH KDG D ¿QDQFLDO WKUHVKROG RI DERXW WHQ GROODUV 6R anyone had noticed. D4’s label at the time, Hopeless, hadn’t noticed LQVWHDGRIFDMROLQJ9LQFHDQG$GULDQWRUHEXUQIRUW\¿YH&'VDQG and they had sent me a box of thirty CDs which I slowly released then photocopying the lyrics, I wrote a short explanation/apology to our contributors (who didn’t know they were part of a slow-drip to our reviewers. “Computers want to kill me. Dillinger Four is recruitment drive for Dillinger Four). awesome. Songs out of order. Find lyrics on interweb. Want to run Fast forward over a decade. Dillinger Four just released a great many simultaneous reviews. Don’t mind if you don’t like it. Intrepid new record, Civil War. Due to a fundamental Razorcake policy of leader, –Todd.” always seeking new bands to cover, we won’t interview the same I’ve always been a fan of multiple reviews of a single piece EDQGWZLFHHYHUHYHQLIWKH\¶UHDSHUVRQDOWRS¿YHRIDOOWLPH+RZ of music in a zine. It shows that Razorcake’s not a bunch of folks else to celebrate this momentous occasion? I knew the record didn’t using the same brain, we’re not a clique, and that we don’t consider blow. I was given access to it before its release to write the bio/one- ourselves a monolith that can make or break a band. We’re a widely sheet dealie for their current label, Fat. scattered bunch of people who happen to like music and DIY culture I emailed Fat and asked for thirty full copies of Civil War. They a whole lot. I think we’re pretty good at what we do. respectfully declined, but did send some download cards. Due to In the end, why did I do it? Because I could. Because independent 5D]RUFDNH³RI¿FLDOO\´EHLQJPHPEHUVRIWKHSUHVVDQGDVVXPLQJZH publishing means we’re free to take chances. Because I always want KDYHPRUHÀH[LEOHWHUPVZLWKWKHODZZLWKSURSDJDWLQJRXULGHDVDERXW to take a small step back and celebrate the things that truly make me music, I asked my friends over at Fat if I could burn some copies on happy. Because I’m a geek who still can’t get enough of great music our dime, give the copies to every active reviewer, and have the record that’s being made all around us. So, if you’re a band or label that reviewed as many times as possible. They basically said, “Sure, knock turned in some music for review and it’s not in this issue because we yourself out” and probably didn’t give it another thought. printed 7,000 words on Civil War instead, yeah, you’re right. We’re It’s been abundantly clear in the last three months that computers dumb. I admit it. (But we’ve been working a lot with on our website, want me dead. Not stabby-shooty-killy dead, but crazy-mania-don’t- too, and there’s a good chance it’s posted on there.) work-right-jump-in-front-of-bus-insane dead. And a small hiccup –Todd Taylor

AD DEADLINES Contact Razorcake via our regularly THANK YOU: Cow skull, full moon, eyeball, cactus, mountains (without updated website, www.razorcake.org bandana’d coyote) thanks to Horsebites! for designing the cover and ISSUE #49 or PO Box 42129, LA, CA 90042 Danny Bengston for the cover photo (look closely. There’s part of a February 1st, 2009 penguin in there); Toby Tober for wearing the Bat Girl costume (adjacent page). When he got out of the restroom in rural Florida, a biker gang ISSUE #50 “You owe your readers not your came roaring in. Luckily it was Halloween; Even in failure, there can 0DUFKst, 2009 industry only but your judgment, and be beauty thanks to Nation of Amanda for her illo. in Liz O’s column; We totally scored the dude who did all the pictures on the No Idea Visit www.razorcake.org you betray instead of serve them if website thanks to Jason Armadillo for his illo. in Jim’s column; If we Click "Ads" for rates and details. UKQO=?NEł?AEPPKSD=PI=UKNI=U ever become a live action cartoon instead of a zine, I want Steve Larder Our ad rates are super duper. not be their opinion.” to draw us all thanks for his illo. in Amy’s column; Tubby tigers! Oh my! thanks to Brad Beshaw for his illo. in Sean’s column; Well stocked toilet Cover artwork by Horsebites –Edmund Burke rolls thanks to Replay Dave for his photo of the Rhythm Chicken; Barry! www.horsebitesdesign.com Cover photo by Danny Bengston Ramone! thanks to Kiyoshi Nakazawa for his illo. in Dale’s column; Im“peck”able drawing of the Famous Chicken señor Clem—some may The last two months have seen the loss of four souls who were important to say “egg”cellent; Probably the most salt we’ll ever give to fuckin’ Led Razorcake. This issue is dedicated to the memory of Ava Lilliana Medina, Zeppelin thanks to Ryan Gelatin for his illo. in Nørb’s column; I hope Jamie Ewing, Studs Terkel, and Lefty. Rest in peace. Gary takes a liking to Two and a Half Men thanks to Maynard for his illo. in Hornberger’s column; Hat in hand thanks to Lauren Measure, Maddy Tight Pants, Kevin Morby, and Maggie Simpson for their contributions to Jamie Ewing’s eulogy. Dammit, Jamie. Dammit; Blood on taffeta thanks Paddy Costello (right) to Joe Evans III, Kelly Lone, Amy K., and Albert Lam for all their help with discusses existential the God Damn Doo Wop band interview; You just saved us from possible copyright infringement and kicked so much ass in the process thanks to philosophy - how Danny Martin for his illos. in the Otis Redding article; I’m never really going to tell you what to do, but, fuck, your life will be better if you went on does a man without a a full-scale hunt for all of Shang-a-Lang’s 7”s thanks to Amy Adoyzie and head drink? - with the Danny Bengston for their help in that interview; No, serious, late period Black Flag, but two dudes thanks to Matt Average and Donofthedead Arrivals' Little Dave for their words and photos in the It’s Casual interview; Rollie Fingers jaunty, waxy curl of the ‘stache thanks to Reyan Ali, Lauren Measure, (beardful); sparking and Ryan Russel for their contributions to the Horsebites! interview; a zesty conversation DNEO =TPANLNARAJPOQOBNKIHKKGEJCPKP=HHUODEPPU-DKPKODKLDECDłRA Thankee; As a recap—7,000 words dedicated to Civil War and that’s not on Romanian agrarian an apology—thanks to the following record review, book, DVD, and zine chest hair and the reviewers: Rene Navarro, Mike Frame, Bryan Static, Chris Peigler, Chris Walter, Adrian Salas, Jeff Proctor, Andrew Flanagan, Jennifer Federico, optimal length of gold Vincent, CT Terry, Ty Stranglehold, Buttertooth, Joe Evans III, Kristen K., Art Ettinger, Corinne Smida, Jessica T., Kurt Morris, Dave Williams, Will chains. Kwiatowski, Nick Toerner, Mike Faloon, Donoftime, Sean Koepenick, Dave Dillon, Craven Rock, Josh Benke, Lauren Trout, Matt Average, Jimmy Alvarado, Reyan Ali, The Lord Kveldulfr, Aphid Peewit, Sean One man was later Stewart, Noah Kaplan, and Megan Pants; All of these folks either came in to HQ, put up with my grumpiness, helped and/or prufed theis izzue: arrested. Jeff Proctor, Vincent, Jeremy Jones, Juan Espinosa, Jenny Moncayo, Adrian Salas, Lisa Weiss, Frenchy, and Mike Faloon.

Issue #48 February / March 2009 PO Box 42129 Los Angeles, CA 90042 www.razorcake.org WE DO OUR PART COLUMNS 6 Liz O. Guerrilla My Dreams 8 Jim Ruland Lazy Mick 10 Maddy Tight Pants Shiftless When Idle 12 Amy Adoyzie Monster of Fun 34 36 15 Ben Snakepit Snakepit 16 Sean Carswell A Monkey to Ride the Dog 19 Art Fuentes Chico Simio 42 56 20 Rhythm Chicken Dinghole Reports 22 Designated Dale I’m Against It 25 Kiyoshi Nakazawa Won Ton Not Now 26 Nardwuar The Human Serviette Who Are You? 30 Rev. Nørb Pøwer Pøp Pølice 32 Gary Hornberger Squeeze My Horn FEATURES 34 Obituary for Jamie Ewing 36 God Damn Doo Wop Band by Joe Evans III 42 One Punk's Guide to Otis Redding by Todd Taylor 56 Shang-A-Lang by Daryl Gussin 62 It's Casual by Matt Average and Donofthedead 68 Horsebites by Reyan Ali

FAVORITESANDREVIEWS 76 Top 5s Allow me to extend this heartfelt single-finger salute to you and your faction of fellow fuckin’ louts as the lot of you leave... 78 Record The b-side sounds like the Small Faces, if they were one 62 68 foot tall aliens with big yellow heads and their eyes on stalks... 104 Zine Keen zine with which to clean your ween, mean your gene, and ball your peen!... 107 Book You know that someone’s gonna cut that truck off and a watermelon’s gonna go through a windshield... 112 DVD If you like things crass and/or juvenile, you’re in luck...

Individual opinions expressed within are not necessarily those of Razorcake/Gorsky Press, Inc. Razorcake/ Gorsky, Inc. Board of Directors are: Todd Taylor, Sean Carswell, Dan Clarke, Katy Spining, Leo Emil Tober III This issue of Razorcake and www.razorcake.org were put together by: Todd Taylor, Daryl Gussin, Megan Pants, Sean Carswell, Skinny Dan, James Hernandez, Jenny Moncayo, Chris Baxter, Lauren Measure, Amy Adoyzie, Joe Evans III, Jeremy Jones, Adrian Salas, Vincent Battilana, Juan Espinosa, Ian Silber, Ernst Schoen-rene, Donutsforlunch, Albert Lam, Jeff Proctor, Chris Devlin, Lisa Weiss, and Frenchy. Moving? Have a subscription to Razorcake? Please do us both a favor and contact us before you move. Bulk mail doesn't forward. Razorcake is bi-monthly. Issues are $4.00 ppd. in the U.S. Yearly subscriptions (six issues) are $16.00 bulk rate or $22.00 first class mail. Plus you get some free gooch. These prices are only valid for people who live in the U.S. and are not in prison. Issues and subs are more for everyone else (because we have to pay more in postage). Visit the www.razorcake.org for a price. Prisoners may receive free single issues of Razorcake via Prison Lit. Project, c/o Bound Together Books, 1369 Haight St., SF, CA 94117 or Books to Prisoners, 92 Pike St., Box A, Seattle, WA 98101 (who don’t ship to CA prisons). Want to distribute Razorcake? Email us via the "distro" link on the website. "We do not have the ideal world, such as we would like, where morality is easy because cognition is easy, where one can do right with no effort because they can detect the obvious." “Philip K. Dick, The Man in the High Castle “Everyone has I’M AGAINST IT youthful fantasies. Most people, at GUERRILLA MY DREAMS some point, will LIZ O abandon them.” The Great American Young Adult Novel Experiment

,WZDV30RQWKHODVWGD\RI1RYHPEHU 6WHSKHQLH 0H\HU &¶PRQ ERRN DGYDQFH writing and began to imagine someone the close of a holiday weekend for most &¶PRQ¿OPRSWLRQV who physically resembled a geometric Americans and the end of an agonizing Of course, I didn’t even have names for hodgepodge with brightly colored shapes month for your faithful correspondent. By my characters yet. I just had a lot of ambition. laying one atop another. IWKDW HYHQLQJ , KDG PDQDJHG WR ¿QLVK WZR Earlier in October, I had stopped by the The next day, I told my friend about stories, one of which would hit the world the high school that put up with my antics to do her sleep-talking episode and we spent next morning; the other would appear online a some research on another story I was writing. the next few days analyzing the statement. few days later. In between, I made a very late Buried under a pile of memorabilia was the Was it some sort of symbolism? Did she DUULYDODWDIDPLO\IXQFWLRQZKHUHLQ,¿HOGHG special edition of the Peace Pipe, or whatever have some strangely veiled premonition? the usual set of questions. Oddly enough, this the newspaper was called, wherein it listed The mystery of the boy with the Kandinsky time, my uncle didn’t ask me when I’m going the dreams of the class of 1995. Underneath face would go on to haunt us for years until to write the Great American Novel. my name was some goofy blurb about being that day last October. What if there was %\30,ZDVVWXIIHGZLWKIRRGDQG a rock star writer of young adult novels and a guy with a Kandinsky face and what if weary-eyed from having spent a good eight PHHWLQJ0RUULVVH\ there existed a girl whose art-trip dreams hours (a conservative estimate) at my laptop. I looked at the guy who handed me the box. came to fruition every single time? What But there was one more deadline to meet. At ³:HOO,¶YHPHW0RUULVVH\´ would happen next? this point, it was already determined that the (YHU\RQH KDV \RXWKIXO IDQWDVLHV 0RVW The idea remained tucked away until story would not be complete, but at the very people, at some point, will abandon them. Halloween, when I stumbled across the least, I could try to beef up the word count Some are okay with that, or at least that is 1D1R:UL0RZHESDJHTomorrow, I thought, a little more, try to do something so that I what they will tell you. Others will live with I’ll start writing. appeared to be less of an abysmal failure. I regret slowly devouring them. Being a bit of Supposedly, 50,000 words—roughly opened up a clean screen on the laptop and a drama queen, I fall into the latter category. equivalent to a 175 page book—in one month prepared to write something, anything, to get I used to write fiction, stories that LVDGLI¿FXOWEXWGRDEOHWDVN$IWHUWHQ\HDUV this story moving again. longed to be serious contemplations of LQH[LVWHQFH1D1R:UL0RQRZDWWUDFWVRYHU And then I fell asleep. teen angst, but always seemed to evolve 100,000 people willing to endure the process There were a few times over the next into comedies of goth manners filled of high-speed novel writing. This year, more two hours when I attempted to pry open my with so many non sequiturs that my head than 21,000 people accomplished that feat. eyes, thinking that the writing must continue, would spin as I read them to my friends. It ,Q RUGHU WR FRPSOHWH 1D1R:UL0R \RX must get another thousand words down. was work in which I took great pride as a should, ideally, write about 1,600 words per But I couldn’t do it. Then, sometime after teenager, but would rather not let anyone GD\PHDQLQJWKDWHYHU\QLJKW\RX¿QLVKZLWK midnight, I woke up and looked at the clock. read now. a piece of text comparable to the size of this /L]2KDQHVLDQZDVQRZDFRQ¿UPHGORVHU Back when I was convinced that I essay. You do this for thirty days straight. The Sometime during the course of would be Jane Austen in a pair of ripped goal, according the project organizers, is that Halloween, I had the brilliant idea that this ¿VKQHWV , VSHQW D VHPHVWHU ZULWLQJ D you’re writing, not that you’re necessarily \HDU , ZRXOG GR 1D1R:UL0R D PRQWK screenplay that I had pitched to my writing something you want to see in the new long writing marathon where the goal is to freshman year screenwriting professor in hardcover section at the local bookstore. You complete 50,000 words of pure novel. Years true Hollywood fashion as “12 Monkeys want to get everything from brain farts to ago, one of my friends had convinced me to meets Heathers” on a hand-me-down word actual prose typed into your computer. When try it. I did, wrote about 1,500 words, decided processor that would die the day before the the month is done, then you can go back, that there was no story to be told, and quit. ¿QLVKHGVFUHHQSOD\ZDVGXH2QHQLJKW, UH¿QHUHGHYHORSZKDWHYHU This year was different, I told myself. ZDVRQWKHÀRRURIP\IULHQG¶VGRUPURRP It sounded easy enough to me. Over the This time, I had an idea, one that might not typing on that clunky piece of antiquated years, I trained myself to write quickly, to get ÀDWRXW VXFN , KDG YLVLRQV RI FKDUDFWHUV junk as she studied for some sort of exam. every bit that could constitute a story onto developing in my head. I could actually put We ended up talking about how no one paper and then go back, cut, and revise. some of this stuff down on paper and someone we met could match the hotness of David $QGIRUWKH¿UVWIHZGD\VLWZDVHDV\, might actually read it without cringing. And Bowie until she fell asleep, at which point, was racing through passages 1,200 to 3,000 then, I had this idea that maybe the story was she began babbling about a guy whose face words at a time, watching characters develop VHFUHWO\JHQLXV0D\EH,FRXOGRXWTwilight looked like a Kandinsky painting. I stopped without necessarily contemplating what they I t’s hard not to think about failure.

It keeps you from sleeping, but, at the same time, it can

NATION OF AMANDA keep you from creating. would do next. Plot lines would develop as I this seemingly lofty goal can be reached. WLPHV WR ¿OO XS WKH SDJH EXW GLGQ¶W 7KHUH VDWLQWUDI¿FIRUKRXUVDWDWLPHFRQYHUVDWLRQV beer.” New Year’s Resolutions For 2007 2008 2009 (The And-This-Year-I-Really-Mean-It Edition)

Ah, New Year’s Day, when a not-so- of a strange house with only a vague memory you brought to the party disappears with a young man’s fancy turns to thoughts of self of how you got there and whom with, the “friend” for the whole freaking party and improvement. Every year we make lists of host probably is not going to take kindly to miraculously reappears before your parents RXUIDXOWVDQGÀDZVDQGGHYLVHZD\VWRWXUQ your requests for aspirin, breakfast, and a come to pick you up and after you’ve our negatives into positives. Every year we ride home. consoled yourself with eighteen wine Afail. But not this year, right? • Remember that as far as kids are coolers, do not call her back no matter how 8PVXUH%XWZK\GRZHJHWDOOUHÀHFWLYH concerned, sarcasm is pretty much the same big her knockers are. RQ1HZska, country-western, white boy reggae, the Tampa Bay Buccaneer Cheerleaders, the • Learn to speak more Spanish. hippie jam bands, gospel, adult alternative Corona girl in the poster at my local liquor • Keep in mind that the world is full FRQWHPSRUDU\ À\RYHU URFN GUXP DQG EDVV store, that chick in my dream the other night of douchebags who exhibit their beats, harmonica soloists, Christmas albums, who grabbed my junk and said “It looks like douchebaggery with a kind of demented DQG DQ\RQH DI¿OLDWHG ZLWK American Idol, you’re having a good time,” and all the other pride and that just because I have the %RE0DUOH\RUWKH%HDWOHV beautiful women I have no realistic shot at.) misfortune of coming into contact with • Getting Off on the Wrong Foot #2: If you • Getting Off on the Wrong Foot #3: If the them doesn’t make it my job to point out start off the New Year in the guest bedroom slutty looking girl with the dicey reputation their douchebaggery to them. • Getting Off on the Wrong Foot #4: Arguing with your date + Las Vegas riots = long-ass walk back to the hotel. • You know that time I said I was just going out to meet a friend at a bar for a drink and that drink turned into a few and we moved on to another place with more friends and their friendly friends and even friendlier strangers and we had shots at the bar and I played songs on the jukebox that there was no chance in hot hell the machine was ever going to play but I still hung onto the hope that I would hear them because those songs on that night felt desperately important, an importance enhanced, perhaps, by the “straightener outer” that was offered to and accepted by me in the bathroom and it fucking worked except it also had the effect of extending the night into that place where lines aren’t drawn but crossed and envelopes are pushed not licked, prompting DIWHUPLGQLJKW YLVLWV WR $70V and phone calls to old friends and scribblings on cocktail napkins that had no chance of being deciphered and didn’t make any sense even if they were somehow unscrambled and wouldn’t you know my songs came up on the jukebox and I had to stay for all of them and I couldn’t remember a time or a place where they ever sounded so sweet, felt so necessary, so essential to who and what I am and also goes a long way toward explaining why I didn’t notice those text PHVVDJHVDQGYRLFHPDLOVDOO¿YH of them, and despite all efforts to the contrary the night did indeed end, and I drove home when I shouldn’t have driven, and woke up a shambles with head full of poisonous muck? Well I’m going to try not to do that anymore. • Never forget the importance of the three things for which there is no substitute: sex, travel, and live music. • Try to be a better husband, father, friend, brother, son, co-worker, drinking buddy, and writer. • The operative word is “try.”

Wishing you and yours a safe, healthy, and fucking fantastic 2009! –Jim Ruland JASON ARMADILLO Be mindful of the fact that my body is a temple and one doesn’t spackle the walls of one’s temple with nacho cheese.

9 “No cereal + shooting people = about as cool as I’MSHIFTLESS AGAINST WHEN IT IDLE getting into Green MADDY TIGHT P Day in 2008. ANTS Seriously.” Benjamin Franklin,Death, and Bird Shit! Attention citizens, male and female! And if your childhood history classes were And books? Is there a book that can be please, undocumented workers, members anything like mine, you basically just studied as insanely good, that can make me read 300 of Blotto, and others unfortunate enough the explorers and the American Revolution. pages without taking a break, as The Plague AQRW WR EH DQ RI¿FLDO PHPEHU RI $PHULFD By the time you got to Thomas Jefferson, ZDVIRUPHZKHQ,ZDV¿IWHHQ"7KHDQVZHU U.S.A., avert your eyes! Okay, now that it was time for summer. So, our choices are apparently, is yes! While many people have we’ve established our target audience, and few, but, fortunately, there is one man, who been into Dave Eggers for awhile now, I in so doing, rooted out the stray terrorist- lived early enough in American history to be actually think I’m lucky that, until 2008, inclined Razorcake readers (which, since discussed in sixth grade, sometime before I still had the opportunity to read What Is Razorcake recently suspended delivery to Thanksgiving break, to whom we can look the What IRU WKH ¿UVW WLPH ,Q IDFW ODWHO\ Pakistani mountain caves, already shouldn’t IRU JXLGDQFHRamones Rocket to Russia, what’s the WKH ÀDJ HDFK PRUQLQJ RQO\ WDNHV XS DERXW But I know what you’re thinking. “When logical next step? Would you say, “Wow, IRUW\¿YH PLQXWHV HDFK GD\ ZKDW VKRXOG I get done tending to my victory garden, my this is awesome!” and then go to the record I do in my spare time?” I mean, let’s be hands are all dirty and calloused and soap isn’t store and buy a Clash bootleg LP? No! As honest. That kind of serious patriotism can be punk and my hands hurt and so, you know, much as I wanted to ration my Dave Eggers accomplished in the length of 1.5 Screeching , FDQ¶W MXVW UXQ P\ ¿OWK\ ZLWKHUHG KDQGV reading, I failed, which brings me to this Weasel albums. Now, you could sign up for through the library shelves!” Fortunately, book. As someone whose dad died when I something called military service, but I’ve you don’t have to. Put down the spade and the was fourteen, I’ve never really found an even heard that they don’t have Lucky Charms, VKRYHO,SUHVHQWWR\RX³0DGG\7LJKW3DQWV¶ vaguely accurate rendering of having a parent and then I heard a rumor, I think in the MRR Top Five Books I’ve Read (And Therefore die when you’re a kid until I read this book. letters section, that for some reason you have You Should Read) This Year!” There’s something so bizarre, so un-solemn, to kill people, too. No cereal + shooting 1. What Is the What, by and just, well, strange about having a parent people = about as cool as getting into Green Dave Eggers: Sometimes I worry die. In the movie version, for example, people Day in 2008. Seriously. that, at a certain point in my life, I’ll have GRQ¶W VSHQG WKH ¿UVW ¿IWHHQ PLQXWHV DIWHU D So, what to do? In these troubled times, discovered all of the bands I’ll ever love, WHUPLQDOO\ LOO IDPLO\ PHPEHU GLHV ÀLSSLQJ who can we look to for leadership? Who has and will then spend the rest of my life through the yellow pages trying to locate a an intuitive understanding of the American OLVWHQLQJ WR 'LOOLQJHU )RXU¶V 0XWDQW 3RS funeral home and then wondering, “Wait. Do soul? Who has the universal respect necessary 7” and reminiscing about some basement I call a funeral home or do I call 911? I mean, to command the attention of the citizenry? I show in 1997. So, whenever I realize that, it’s not an emergency…”. But in my family, mean, as much as I like the Onion Flavored actually, I’m pretty uninformed and kinda \RXGR$QGWKLVERRNDVOLJKWO\¿FWLRQDOL]HG Rings, can Steve Funyon really get us out musically stupid, such that I hadn’t even account of Dave Eggers’ own experience, has of this crisis? Sadly, no. We must look back heard Dag Nasty and its concept of hardcore dozens of those moments. into our history, or, as Dan Quayle once so brotherhood until the age of twenty-six, I’m But, more importantly, at least to someone eloquently put it, “back to the back.” Now, actually quite pleased! like me (the kind of person whose idea of a When I saw someone check out this book I wanted to tell him, “If only I could be so lucky as to be you right now.” But that would sound creepy. good time, at age twenty-nine, is jumping in a bouncy castle), this book is funny. Really, really funny. For example, when describing the narrator’s diverse-nude- photo-shoot-for-his-upstart-magazine- gone-wrong, Eggers writes, “We try to space ourselves out so when we pass her [the photographer] we will be spread out, everyone visible, all colors and sizes. It will be beautiful and poetic and it hurts like a PRWKHUIXFNHU 2XU SHQLVHV ÀRS XS DQG GRZQ and then as we pick up speed, slap left to right, back and forth—who would have thought left to right? The pain! People should not do this. Penises were not built for running. I think of a GLVWHQGHGPXIÀHUVFUDSLQJWKHSDYHPHQW,WKLQN of a bird shaking the life out of a worm…. The agony is ridiculous. We run past her, she gets maybe two frames off, and then we do it again. A dozen times at least. I begin to hold my penis for the majority of the run, letting go only when passing directly in front of her. I can’t imagine what it’s like for the pierced-penis guy. It’s GH¿QLWHO\QRWKHOSLQJWRNHHSLWLQSODFH,IKH has some kind of hookup, like to his navel….” A book that combines an accurate depiction of family loss with hilarious penile-related humor? Punk rock! 3. Collected Works, by Andrei Platonov: While some “glass half empty” folks might go on and on about Stalin’s purges, famines and grain requisitions, and the general horrors of living under the rule of a moustached lunatic, other more optimistic individuals “taste test” ensues. You’ll never look at bird suddenly and incongruously, right when I’m might say, “Well, if there wasn’t a ridiculously droppings the same way again. starting to wonder whether deciding the read the paranoid and brutal leader, we wouldn’t 4. On the Lower Frequencies, entire Bible was really worth it, declares, “Utterly have books making fun of this ridiculously by Erick Lyle: Rambling on about meaningless! Everything is meaningless. What paranoid and brutal leader!” Note: this Benjamin Franklin has its downsides, does man gain from all his labor at which he toils previous statement could be called “bad logic” including running out of column space. So, under the sun?” The answer, to sum up the book or, more simply, “stupid,” for it is both. So, all I have room to say about this is that you of Ecclesiastes, is, well, not much. really all I need to say is that Andrei Platonov should read it because I like it. Case closed! If even THE WORD OF GOD declares wrote a play about a Communist party leader 5. The Bible, by the Holy that life is pointless, then I guess it really trying to address food shortages by inventing Spirit/God: While all of the above books is true that the only reasonable thing to do a new food made from bird feces, grass, and are great and everything, not ONE of them is to shovel cereal into your mouth while sawdust. One character says to another, “Also, involves a conversation between an average bouncing around to My Brain Hurts while ,JQDW1LNDQRURYLFKWKHÀRFNRIELUGVKDVOHW guy and God concerning a sea serpent. Not one reading absurdist Soviet literature! So, in an loose a lot of birdshit. Whole mounds of it are mentions giving your daughters to an angry odd way, my life does make sense, after all. lying round and they say it’s a real goldmine. crowd to be raped in order to protect a pair of The End! :KDWVKRXOG,GRVWRUHLWRUOHWLWJR"´0XFK angels. And not one of them, after devoting hilarity, and much vomiting after a misguided several hundred pages to religious devotion, –Maddy 11 “Birds and bees (and their MONSTER OF FUN arranged AMY ADOYZIE marriages).” Halftime Hurrah Insha’allah. God willing, indeed. a foreign country, away from comfort and Say to them, I am halfway through my time here, eight security, to invest the next year and a half of say to the down-keepers, months have passed and there are eight months your life into an untested program, hoping its the sun-slappers, to go. The mound of sand at the bottom half of UHZDUGVZLOORXWZHLJKLWVVDFUL¿FHV" the self-soilers, the hourglass continues to grow as those tiny No one likes tests. They’re fallacious gauges the harmony-hushers, grains, the ticking minutes, slowly slide through of one’s complete and true ability. How does one “even if you are not ready for day Ia narrow funnel. Before I’ll have a chance to say: I am from a remote area of Pakistan where it cannot always be night.” fully grasp this experience, the glass bulb would my father is a potato farmer. Girls like me never You will be right. have emptied into the past. leave. But I have. on a multiple choice exam? For that is the hard home-run. For this time being, I will continue to be * Live not for battles won. grateful for the present and its inspiration. I was never taught how to diagram a Live not for the-end-of-the-song. While Bangladesh hasn’t been completely kind sentence and the lumbering ghost of grammar Live in the along. to me, it’s been deeply gratifying because of the is haunting me now. :KHQ WKH\ ¿UVW UHDG LW WKH\ ZHUH ¿OOHG VWXGHQWV0\KRSHLVWKDWWKH\ZLOOFRQWLQXHWR Even the most basic terms: simple present, ZLWKWKHW\SHRIGUHDGUHVHUYHGIRUGHQWLVWRI¿FH bloom, and I’m lucky to be able to witness it. present progressive/continuous, past perfect waiting rooms. Insha’allah. progressive magic potion that makes unicorns ³,NQRZWKLVLVGLI¿FXOWWRXQGHUVWDQGQRZ´ * * * À\. All of it is completely foreign to me, someone I said. “But we will learn it together. Don’t The following is a very abbreviated account who writes and has been endowed with the ability worry, you will understand this poem soon.” of those eight months. to simply discern correct grammar usage based They learned that poetry, and much of literature, on whether it sounds right. Unfortunately, “that can have many interpretations. They, students Bangladeshi students began arriving today, sounds wrong” isn’t an adequate explanation, of rote education, were stunned to realize that ÀDQNHG E\ IDPLO\ DV WKH\ WUXGJHG XS ÀLJKWV which means that I am now forced to study something didn’t have one clear answer. of stairs to settle in their new dorms—across grammar in order to teach it. There’s some quiet magic in seeing these WKHKDOOIURPWKHWHDFKHUDSDUWPHQWV0RWKHUV Let’s cram grammar; shove it mercilessly young women grapple with abstract concepts, fathers, little brothers, big sisters, aunts, uncles LQWR P\ ¿IWHHQKRXU ZRUN GD\V DORQJ ZLWK creative and critical thinking. After studying it, and grandmothers—all beaming with pride as lesson planning, teaching, Bangla class, they read it out loud together. Goosebumps dotted they helped their student move in. The grammas lesson planning, grading homework, creating my arm when each student read a line, fully were especially sweet. Two grandmothers of assignments, researching lessons, and breaking understanding this poem about determination two separate students clasped their wrinkled DQG ¿[LQJ WKH FRS\ PDFKLQH ,W¶V WKH W\SH RI DQG VWD\LQJ SRVLWLYH 7KH\ ZHUH FRQ¿GHQW DQG hands around my arms, tugged me close to their schedule that leaves you out of breath, drowning sure of the words that were emerging from them. chests, and thanked me. in ticking minutes. After the last student read the last line, “Live in I felt like a jerk when I was trying to make I’m constantly playing catch up, without the along,” all of their eyes lifted from the poem a phone call on my mobile when one gramma enough time to even think of decompressing at and small smiles beamed at me. They got it. asked me to take care of her granddaughter. the end of each day as I crash onto my overly This is my paycheck. “Please tell her I will take care of you,” ¿UPPDWWUHVV0\everything reaches a point of * I said to the student and turned to smile at exhaustion where I can feel the synapses in my , ZDV ÀLSSLQJ WKURXJK D &DGLOODFVL]HG gramma’s beautifully lined face, with a cell brain shut off and recoil. textbook and found a small thumbnail photograph phone pressed against my cheek. Even with the fatigue, anxiety, of Robert Frost to which I commented, “Robert By Sunday, all of the students will have homesickness—even with the increasing Frost was hot.” It was Saturday night, midnight- DUULYHG IURP 1HSDO &DPERGLD 0\DQPDU 6UL burden of realizing that I am fully responsible thirty in Bangladesh, and so, naturally, the Lanka, Pakistan, and India. We’re lesson planning for providing a legitimate post-secondary image of any type of male dude person, even as they unpack. They’re making new friends and school education on a volunteer’s stipend and if he is a deceased-questionably-hot-poet, will we’re making up classroom activities. Operation: base training—even with feeling lost, alone, get me riled up. Big Bang is about to launch, helping to educate and abandoned. Even when the only solace I * a crop of female leaders of the subcontinental KDYHDUHWKRVHPHUHIRXUWR¿YHKRXUVRIVOHHS This lack of male companionship during region. It won’t be easy, but I don’t break inside of my droopy mosquito net. Even so, I this year and a half is almost crippling my promises to Bangladeshi grandmothers. love teaching. mental well-being. Sometimes a girl needs * Every morning I am in class 5A5, sipping some dude. “How do you assess future greatness?” on coffee sent by loved ones. As the caffeine What I don’t need, however, is a wafer- Kamal asked us, a dozen teachers sitting around begins to course its way through my body, it sized cockroach lounging in my bed as I lay him after another day of student testing. He feels like the sun is shining brighter into my about leisurely, unaware of its grossness being gently slung the rhetorical question into the classroom. The lessons that I pored over take in such close proximity. Because it’ll force me FHQWHU RI WKH FODVVURRP ,W ÀRDWHG VORZO\ WR shape in 5A5. WRVFUHHFKXQFRQWUROODEO\0\URRPPDWHVZLOO the ground as we all looked at each other and 'XULQJ WKHLU ¿UVW ZHHN , LQWURGXFHG WKH come in and watch me shake out my sheets shrugged in our heads. following poem: VR WKDW WKH\ FDQ VODP WKHLU ÀLSÀRS RQWR WKH 7KH\¶YH SDVVHG D ¿UVW WHVW E\ VKRZLQJ Speech to the Young : Speech to the wretched thing as it lazily scampers away. I’ve up here. Doesn’t it take courage to move to Progress-Toward by Gwendolyn Brooks hung out with creepiness in my bed before, but STEVE LARDER “I just love my sticker collection. It is my treasure!” nothing is as revolting as these huge, winged I’m a long ways away from the teenagers with anticipated that they wouldn’t like it for its roaches. Bangladeshi bedfellows are so uncool. whom I went to high school, young mothers and brutal and morbid ending, and therefore would * thuggish gang bangers who would eat Loda for not appreciate its craftsmanship. 0DQ\ RI RXU VWXGHQWV EHWZHHQ HLJKWHHQ breakfast with a side of toast. How could I relate “Did you like the story?” I asked and and twenty-one years old, are generally sex—the trauma, the pleasure, the uncertainty, received a tepid response. ignorant about sex. It was suggested that the the love, the touches, the mechanics—to a “The ending was too shocking. It was too teachers could discuss the birds and bees (and girl who says she can’t live without stickers? I much cruel, ma’am.” They made sour faces and their arranged marriages), but I was wholly couldn’t. Not with a straight face, at least. widened their eyes for emphasis. unprepared to do any such thing. * “So, you didn’t like the way it ended, huh? I, Amy Adoyzie, can talk about sex. But I’ve hit my stride, leaning against the white It wasn’t a happy ending.” I am not equipped to educate about sex. Just board. Struggling to explain vocabulary words “Yes, ma’am.” EHFDXVH , FDQ WKRURXJKO\ HQMR\ D ¿YHFRXUVH or abstract ideas is just this thing I do now. I “But,” I reasoned, hopefully, “even if you dinner doesn’t mean I can cook it. am a conduit of information and ideas. It would don’t like the ending, is it still a great piece of After the faculty meeting about the talk, seem that this is greater than the ability to shoot literature?” There was a slight beat and I feared I was with our Storytelling & Independent a basketball or hit a golf ball—but somehow that they would all emphatically shake their Publishing extra curricular activity group where Nike never sponsors teachers, one of the most heads. Instead, in an even louder chorus, they I am a co-advisor. The students were writing undervalued resources of our culture. all agreed, “Yes!” about something they considered to be a treasure Isn’t it time? And shouldn’t it begin with 0RQWKVDJR,KDGWRYDOLGDWHOLWHUDWXUHRQ and they talked about them: a family portrait, a me? The one who left behind fresh salads and an almost daily basis. And now they’re slowly laughing Buddha statue, a T-shirt from grandpa. late nights with friends in smoky bars to be here. becoming discerning critics with the ability ³0\ WUHDVXUH LV VRPHWKLQJ , UHDOO\ ORYH´ I’m doing it. I’ve got the lesson plans and to value a well-written piece even if the story Loda gushed and smiled. “It is my sticker dateless nights to prove it. didn’t unfold as they had wished. This liberal collection. Stickers express all of human * arts education may work after all. emotions. Sometimes they are smiling. When I read Shirley Jackson’s The Lottery Sometimes they are crying. They can show the in high school, my mind was blown. Since –Amy Adoyzie feelings of people.” Her enthusiasm rushed out my students are not accustomed to having 0RUHRIWKLVQRQVHQVHDWDP\DGR\]LHFRP of her as she began to speak quickly. “I just love any parts of their bodies warped by literature, my sticker collection. It is my treasure!” I took great pleasure in their reactions. I 13

15 LAZY MICK “Everything that AI’M MONKEY AGAINSTTO RIDE THEIT DOG leads to progress SEAN CARSWELL can be a pain in the ass.” Let Him GO

I was checking out Chester Himes’s way. I don’t blame it on the fact that I grew person. I was White. Andy was Black. We ¿UVWQRYHOIf He Hollers Let Him Go, the up in the South, either. I remember hanging were sitting deep inside of Georgia. Fuck. other day, trying to remember how that out with some older cousins in New York. I thought about that expression. Did rhyme went. Eeny, meeny, miny, moe, , ZDV RQO\ ¿YH RU VL[ \HDUV ROG 2QH RI it really mean what I thought it meant? catch a…. And I couldn’t remember what my cousins had taught me a joke, and he Was a coon’s age really the lifespan of a Iyou were supposed to catch by his toe. I was prodding me to tell the other cousins. raccoon, or something that makes less sense remembered how I learned the poem, but I wasn’t all that stoked on telling the joke but is more racist? Was Andy sitting there, I knew that wasn’t right. I knew there was because I didn’t get it. I told it anyway: fuming that he had to sit next to a racist something else you were supposed to catch “Sammy Davis, Jr. walks onto a bus. The motherfucker like me? Should I apologize? by the toe, but I couldn’t, for the life of bus driver says to him, ‘Back of the bus, Would it help? me, remember what it was. I dug around nigger.’ Sammy Davis, Jr. says, ‘But I’m I don’t remember how I handled the in the recesses of my brain, trying to bring not a nigger. I’m a Jew.’ So the bus driver situation. I probably just had another drink. it up. It wouldn’t come to me. I didn’t says to him, ‘Get off.’” want to look it up on the internet because I didn’t know who Sammy Davis, Jr. I thought the word “pickaninny” 1) I don’t want wikipedia to become my was. Hell, I didn’t even know what a Jew referred to the braids that little Black girls long-term memory and 2) come on, I had was. I did know that jokes like that got me wore. I thought this because I remember to remember what I was really supposed to in with the older kids. once standing with my mom and one of let go if he hollered. her friends, who was an elementary school Eventually, I gave up thinking and Then, there was this other time. I was teacher at the school that I went to, and slunk back to my computer to look it up. in my late twenties, living back in Atlanta, my mom’s friend saw two little Black girls Tiger. You probably already know this, but hanging out at the Little Five Points Pub. with braids and said, “Oh, look at the cute it’s a tiger that you catch by the toe. A guy walked in the door. It took me a little pickaninnies.” I sat there, looking at my computer second to recognize him. He sat two stools I was very embarrassed when, screen, thinking, who the fuck ever heard over from me and took his own couple of decades later, I learned what pickaninny of catching a tiger by his toe? I looked at seconds to remember me. His name was really meant. DOO WKH GLIIHUHQW YHUVLRQV²¿VK\ SLJJ\ Andy. He’d been a regular at another bar monkey—and none of them sounded where I used to work the last time I’d I’ve been thinking about all of this familiar. One British version caught a fairy lived in Atlanta. We said our hellos and stuff lately, and probably for obvious by his toe. I could’ve pictured us as kids chatted for a bit. Andy said, “It’s been a reasons. I think I was a member of the using that one, if we’d been British, if long time.” last generation in America that was raised someone had thought of it. But we never And it had been a long time since amidst such flippant racist language. did. So tiger. It must’ve been tiger. we’d seen each other. The two years that In the late eighties, the whole Political The thing is, though, we never said tiger. VHSDUDWHG P\ OLYHV LQ $WODQWD ÀDVKHG Correctness movement came along. When I was a little kid, hanging out with through my head. I’d lived in a couple of And it got a lot of backlash because all the kids in the neighborhood, divvying other towns, made and lost friends, traveled no one knew what was okay to say and XS WHDPV IRU ZLIÀH EDOO RU ZKDWHYHU ZH all around the continent, held a few jobs, got what wasn’t. The term African American always said, “Eeny, meeny, miny, moe, ¿UHGIURPRQHRIWKHPDQGDOPRVWJRWLQWR doesn’t exactly work, because what about FDWFKDQLJJHUE\WKHWRH´,¿QGLWKDUGWR D¿VW¿JKWZLWKP\ERVVMXVWVRWKDW,FRXOG someone like Charlize Theron, who grew picture now: a bunch of cute little White SU\P\¿QDOSD\FKHFNIURPKLV¿QJHUV7KH up in South Africa, immigrated to the kids, mostly blond, tan in the Florida sun, two years seemed like dog years to me. So I U.S., and is White as hell? Isn’t she an gathered up for a game of something in the expressed this passage of time to Andy the African American? And what do we call street, looking as all-American as can be. best way I knew how. I said, “Yeah, it’s been Black people in Europe? And the terms And we were all-American with our little a coon’s age.” black and white don’t work because we’re rhymes of “catch a nigger by his toe, if he “A what?” Andy said, suddenly angry. talking, in all cases, of a variety of browns. hollers let him go.” “A coon’s age,” I said. “You know, So you can capitalize White and Black I don’t know what we said when like a raccoon could have been born and to indicate that you’re referring not to a Rudy Smith played with us. Probably the lived his whole life in the time since I saw color but to a social construct, but even same thing. you last.” as I capitalize these words in this column, “Oh,” Andy said, but he seemed like he I feel like a pretentious jerk. So, granted, By the time I was old enough to know was done talking to me. Political Correctness is a pain in the ass. better, I’d quit making my choices using The bartender came along, chatted Still, it’s got to be preferable to that rhyme. with both of us, and the afternoon started allowing an otherwise nice little kid like to while away. myself to grow up chanting “catch a nigger I’m not sure where it came from. I’m A few minutes later, I remembered by his toe.” sure my parents didn’t teach it to me that that “coon” was a racist term for a Black I don’t remember how I handled the situation.

BRAD BESHAW I probably just had another drink.

As I’ve said, whatever term you use LQP\RI¿FHZKHUH,¶PFRPSOHWHO\DORQH, the case of attacking the word “nigger,” now, it’s going to be inexact. The term had a vague idea of why this was. I knew it no one banned you from using it. You’re “people of color” may seem like the silliest was something about hearing that word in welcome to use it. You just look like a because not only are all people “of color,” the voice of a White guy who has the accent jackass if you do. And you should look like but the term itself is just a syntactical of a former slaveholding state. But then a jackass. You’re using the least evolved variant of the old racist term “colored I came across a book called The Stuff of part of your brain when you say it. But people.” Regardless, if we go beyond these Thought by Steven Pinker. Pinker explains I shouldn’t say “you” here. Chances are pithy little observations, we can recognize that when we use certain words, it triggers you’re not doing this at all. Chances are, that, at least as a society, White people DÀRZRIR[\JHQLQWRWKHOLPELFV\VWHPLQ you’ve evolved. stopped saying “nigger.” That has to be a our brain. “Nigger” is one of those words. I’m not saying that demonizing the great thing. When we hear it or say it, our thought use of that one particular word has ended The term itself was created by a slave SDWWHUQVÀHHWKHPRUHUDWLRQDOIURQWDOOREH racism and paved the way for a Black holding society. It’s the derogatory term of our mind and race down to the reptilian U.S. president or anything drastic like that reasserts White superiority. Every time part of our brain. We literally race back that. I’m just trying to understand how it’s used by a White person, whether he’s a to an early stage of evolution. This isn’t we teach things like racism to little kids Nazi or a little kid deciding who’re going to to say that saying the word makes you and how it was taught to me. Also, I think EHWKHFDSWDLQVRIWKHZLIÀHEDOOWHDPVLW¶V dumber, it just means that, when you say that demonizing certain terms has stuffed reasserting racial superiority. This is more this word, you’re using the dumbest part racism into the closet, as opposed to making serious than we typically acknowledge. of your brain. it something that is overtly indoctrinated 7KHUH KDYH EHHQ YDULRXV QHXURVFLHQWL¿F into us. studies recently that show that language So then I think again about Political Hopefully, we’re all better off catching causes us to react in ways that we’ve only Correctness and all the backlash against tigers by the toe. recently begun to understand. it. I can understand how it can be a pain in The word “nigger” is a good example the ass. Everything that leads to progress –Sean Carswell RIWKLV,W¶VDGLI¿FXOWZRUGIRUPH,FDQ can be a pain in the ass. Some people felt type it and use it in this column, but I can’t like restricting the words we can say is a bring myself to say it out loud, even here form of censorship. Well, it can be. But in 17

19 “He began I’M AGAINST IT hitting harder, THE DINGHOLE REPORTS louder, and with RHYTHM CHICKEN even LESS percussive skill!” Imitation Chicken

The Dinghole Reports DQG0F&DLQZHUH0$.,1*287IURPWLPH my belongings. It will be just me, my bike, By The Rhythm Chicken WR WLPH´ :HOO WKHUH \RX KDYH LW 0\ RZQ some clothes, and my Chickenhead boarding (Commentary by Francis Funyuns) friends are now steeling my thunder, hogging Amtrak and heading to a more biking- [Edited by Dr. Sicnarf] the spotlight to display public outbursts of friendly climate. steamy homoerotic campaign images. Boy, T'LQJKROH 5HSRUW  0F&DLQ DQG 2EDPD talk about GAY! (Oh, great! You’re joining your snowbird sittin’ in a tree… parents in FLORIDA! - F.F.) (Rhythm Chicken sighting #425) (Bonkers, Chicken! Could quiet little Sister It was a pleasant enough autumn festival Bay HANDLE such a show right in the middle >5HDOO\ 0U &KLFNHQ , GRQ¶W WKLQN \RX¶UH in a pleasant enough northern Wisconsin of their wholesome little parade? - F.F.) quite ready for the endless sea of retirement town. The streets were packed with parents communities down there. I mean, you’re and children, tourists and locals, drunks To tell the truth, they really seemed to like it! OLD, but you’re not THAT old. – Dr. S.] and God-fearing Republicans. Welcome to $IWHUWKHPDQ\PRQWKVRIVHHLQJ0F&DLQDQG Sister Bay. Welcome to Fall Fest. The Fall Obama at each others’ throats, seeing them No. I will not be migrating to the punk rock Fest parade was about to embark. I had my joined at the lips was a refreshing sight! Then capitol of the south. I will be far away from ever-crumbling drumset nailed onto the back there’s my father. After the parade, I asked the former Confederate territories. end of an old trailer. There were some hay KLPLIKHOLNHGWKHÀRDW+HUHSOLHG³%R\ 0U &KLFNHQ

Rick and I both ran out to my car and I raised my beer and yelled, “Whooooo! car, and returned to more people asking me grabbed the Chickenkit. As we carried +H\ HYHU\RQH /22. ,W¶V WKH 5+<7+0 when the real Rhythm Chicken was gonna it in and pushed through the crowd, we CHICKEN!!!” Rick tinkered with a few play. I would just take a pull off of my man- could hear other locals mumbling to each more snare and tom hits. The crowd began to mug and reply, “Huh, didn’t you see him? He other, “Hey, look. The Rhythm Chicken’s boo and yell out, “LOUDER!!!” This pushed just played.” gonna play!” The crowd gathered around in Rick to turn it up a few notches. He began anticipation while I put the drums together hitting harder, louder, and with even LESS (Okay, okay, so RC is actually Rick Chomeau. in the middle of the room. Then I ran outside percussive skill! The crowd began booing Very funny, Chicken. Now, where are you to get the Chickenhead. Rick was out there more and more while Rick played louder and moving to? – F.F.) and ready to go. I handed him the head and louder. I was literally beside myself; I was said, “Well, here you go!” Rick peered into FINALLY seeing the Rhythm Chicken! >New Orleans? – Dr. S.] Here I go.” He took one last pull from his The boos became too much and Rick ran out of beer and put on the head. I ran inside. steam. He lowered his sticks and then pulled I knew I wanted to move to a place that off the Chickenhead. The entire drunken was a lot like Sister Bay. I wanted it to be 0RPHQWVODWHU5& 5LFN&KRPHDX VWXPEOHG crowd let out a collective, “WHA?????” The a nice, quiet, wholesome little town, quaint into the packed tavern and fumbled his way false Rhythm Chicken was exposed to all and sedate. With all this in mind, I decided to to the drum throne. The crowd cheered, ready the locals. I yelled out, “Oh my GOD! Rick move to… Las Vegas. for more Chicken ruckus. I pushed my way up Chomeau is the Rhythm Chicken!” Just then, front. I REALLY wanted to see this! Rick then JP, another local, yells out, “Yeah! It’s the [(LAS VEGAS?! – F.F. & Dr. S.)] sort of tapped out a mild racket on the snare RICKEN CHICKEN!!!” The place erupted DQGÀRRUWRPFRPSOHWHO\ODFNLQJLQUK\WKP in laughter. I tore down my kit, threw it in the –Rhythm Chicken 21 I’MI’M AGAINSTAGAINST ITIT “Shalom, you fucking apes DESIGNATED DALE of wrath!” BARAKY FUCKIN’ RAMONE! A large majority of America’s been Hilary Clinton losing the Democratic primary how different races and cultures affect the breathing a hopeful sigh of relief since this or those who were just plain undecided. How scope of one’s life, but, more importantly, past November. We’ve got a new gatekeeper absolutely insulting that was to voters across it can hopefully teach a heck of a lot of over on Pennsylvania Ave. in Washington WKHERDUG'R,WKLQNWKDW0F&DLQZRXOG¶YH understanding along the way. Here are some D.C. that’s bound and determined to get this chosen the same exact running mate from great examples… AFRXQWU\ EDFN RQ WUDFN 0DQ DV SURPLVLQJ Alaska, had that prospective running mate Chuck Berry (my king of all kings of as he’s sounding, I sure as hell wouldn’t a dick between their legs? I’d be willing to rock’n’roll) rose up from St. Louis with want to be anywhere near Obama’s shoes, put up my record collection that he wouldn’t an unbelievable guitar style that had him especially after the last eight years of have (yes, every 7” and LP, Ramones playing shows here in the States from leadership monkeyshines (read: pooping vinyl included, homie!). Like I said—how coast to coast. Some of the packed gigs in this country’s lap) that have led the U.S. absolutely insulting. he performed were in front of bi-racial LQWRRQHRIWKHELJJHVWGH¿FLWVDQGHFRQRPLF Then I heard some people’s reasoning of audiences, but with whites on one side of turmoil eerily parallel to our country’s early why they thought Barack Obama was a bad the hall and blacks on the other side, most depression. Let’s not forget mentioning a idea. The one comment that reminded me of times cordoned off down the middle with war across the pond these last years that’s how far we upright-walking humans have to an actual rope. Now, although he was more been adding an ocean’s worth of fuel to the go is, “He’s black. This country’s never had than welcome to bring in a packed crowd 8QLWHG6WDWHV¶DOUHDG\EXUQLQJ¿QDQFLDO¿UH a black president before and, you know, this for a promoter’s lucrative show, Chuck Is Obama going to come through the victor is how a lot of shit starts.” No, I don’t know. was never welcome to stay at a hotel in DIWHUKLV¿UVWWHUP":KHQFRQIURQWHGIDFHWR “A lot of shit”? Would that be a whole lot the white part of town after a gig. This face with our own jobs, four years seems like of the same shit that this country’s up to its was unheard of at that time. And, yes, this an eternity to most people, but forty-eight eyeballs in now, or would that really be some was in the good ol’ 1950s. Can you say, months for one guy and his hand-selected load of racist shit that this same country gave “Thanks for all the money, now get the WHDPRIRI¿FLDWHVVHHPVOLNHKDUGO\DQ\WLPH to a vast number of different kinds of people IXFNRXWRIP\QHLJKERUKRRG0U%HUU\"´ DWDOOWRGLYHLQIHHW¿UVWDQGNLFNLQJWU\LQJWR years back (and still does, unfortunately). This also happened too often with other SXWDGHQWLQWKHODVWJX\¶VRYHUÀRZLQJLQER[ A jerk by any other name is still a jerk, black artists on the rock and roll circuit, What an all-around mess. I can clearly hear and I could care less about color, religious including those who were in jazz and big my father now, if he were still around today: association, or sexual orientations. Jerks and bands. This mentality just isn’t wrong, it’s “The new guy’s fucked.” Even if Obama bags their jerky douchebaggery are prevalent in downright disgusting. a second term (and we shall see after these any list of different types of people. “But him -XGDV 3ULHVW VLQFH WKHLU ¿UVW /3 FDPH next four years), even eight years would being black—don’t you think that’s going out in 1974, has been hailed by some as one seem to whisk by before he could completely to obscure his sight of what really needs to of the be-all, end-all bands as far as metal is untie that huge ball of string that’s been get done? You don’t see ‘his people’ getting concerned. I’d dug what the band had done snarling like mad during the last two terms special interest?” Are you fucking kidding over the years, although when it came to of our country’s presidency. I sincerely wish me? Under-the-table hand jobs (special metal, I was (and still am) partial to Ozzy-era the new guy all the best. He’s got quite a long interests) have been going on for eons, but Black Sabbath, Bon Scott-era AC/DC, early road ahead of him, to say the least. these don’t necessarily end as far as race is ,URQ0DLGHQWKH¿UVWIRXU0HWDOOLFD/3V WKH During the last year or so of the FRQFHUQHG$JDLQ ¿QG PH RQH VLQJOH W\SH UHVW \RX FDQ ÀXVK  DQG DOO WKLQJV 6OD\HU presidential campaigning, I was curious to of people who haven’t indulged in special 0RW|UKHDG JHWV QR PHQWLRQ KHUH EHFDXVH hear the reactions from different people as interests. Exactly. as metal as some of their tuneage can lean, to who they were gunning for and why. I And as far as that “his people” jive, who 0RW|UKHDG LV VWLOO D URFN¶Q¶UROO EDQG DQG OLVWHQHGWRWKRVHZKRWKRXJKW-RKQ0F&DLQ exactly would fall under the description of one of the last ones at that, thank you very was the correct turn to make in the fork in the “Obama’s people”? Do you mean the black much.) Growing up with others who were road for the Republican Party’s new direction, folks? Or do you mean the Kenyans, the Irish, into metal was interesting. Some of these whatever that may have led to. I listened the Germans, or the English? That’s right, people wouldn’t be caught dead listening WR WKRVH ZKR DFWXDOO\ WKRXJKW WKDW 0F&DLQ all you Archie Bunkers of various colors, to anything remotely outside of the metal picking Sarah Palin as his running mate was it’s all a bit more involved than previously spectrum, something which I got ostracized a step in the right direction for this country’s thought, isn’t it? I personally love the fact for by some of these close-minded meatheads. future. I’ve got to say, there was a shitty that the new prez is somewhat of a blender -XVWEHFDXVH,VZHDUE\,URQ0DLGHQ¶VKillers taste in my mouth the day it was announced baby. Why? Because Obama, like a whole lot LP, that doesn’t make me any less of a person that she would be his running mate. It’s not of Americans (myself included), are blender because of my hardcore allegiance to the EHFDXVHVKH¶VDZRPDQEXWEHFDXVH0F&DLQ babies to some varying degree or another, Psychedelic Furs or Dramarama (both of and his camp had obviously schemed that and not of just the “black and what have you” whom are fantastic rock bands and that I’m ZRPHQZRXOG¿QGWKLVDSSHDOLQJ,WZDVDQ nature. The U.S. can be a virtual Rubik’s still 100% backing to this very day). opportunistic ploy to snatch up any on-the- Cube when it comes to breaking down one’s But I caught lot of shit from not backing fence women voters who felt assed-out from heritage, and not only is it fascinating to see down with what I really love: “What’s The good ol’ 1950s. Can you say, “Thanks for all the money, now get the fuck out of my neighborhood, Mr. Berry?”

KIYOSHI NAKZAWA with all the new wave fag shit?” “Fuckin’ The Ramones have always made children with a baseball bat. The Nazi thing faggots—look at the way they dress!” “Dude, anything and everything fair game when it was really played up in the press and it shocked look at these guys. They look like a bunch of came to writing song lyrics. Their debut LP some critics even further once they found out queers!” Ironically, it was always with the featured a song called “Blitzkrieg Bop” (read the lead singer was as Jewish as you could homophobic comments about any band that the lyrics) as well as a song called “Today get: Jeffry Hyman, aka, Joey Ramone. What dared stray the path of metal righteousness Your Love, Tomorrow The World,” penned really makes me stop and think was going with these knuckleheads (to be fair, not all in jest about a little German boy who would to all those Ramones gigs the past years and of ‘em were knuckleheads, but most were). one day take over the world. As wincingly seeing clusterfucks of neo-Nazi skinheads Funny thing was Rob Halford (Judas Priest’s Nazi Germany as these lyrics are, Seymour show up. Shalom, you fucking apes of wrath! vocalist) had been constantly sporting some Stein (Sire Records’ head honcho) pleaded 7KHMRNHZDVPRVWGH¿QLWHO\RQ\RX ,QVHUW pretty extreme leather biker garb onstage with the band to consider changing the 1HOVRQ0XQW]ODXJKKHUH over the years, complete with leather riding lyrics in these particular songs. He thought If Obama comes through with part of his FURSDQGOHDWKHUFDS6RPH¿IWHHQ\HDUVODWHU they were commercial suicide. Seymour vision, even if he gets it going in the right in 1998, Halford came out of the closet to was Jewish. Although Seymour always got direction, I’d be happily stumped. As far as the general public in a television interview. the sense of humor the Ramones were going the rest of us? Think of this planet as possibly I wonder if the words “fag,” “faggots,” or IRUWKHEDQGÀDWRXWUHIXVHGWREXGJHRQUH being that much better if people kept their “queers” would’ve spilled out of those idiot writing anything. Seymour threw his hands minds as open as their mouths. knuckleheads’ mouths as easily back in 1983 up in the air and went through with the had they’ve known of Halford’s secret taste Ramones’ original plan. Critics far and wide I’m Against It, in men (not that it even fucking matters). ZHUHKRUUL¿HGWKDWWKLVEDQGRXWRIQRZKHUH –Designated Dale What a foot-in-mouth moment that would’ve ZDVGURSSLQJDYLQ\OERPERIJOXHVQLI¿QJ [email protected] been. Dumbasses. alienation, Nazi vision, and the abuse of 23

25 I’M AGAINST IT “I gotta remind WHO ARE YOU? the chicken, my manager’s name is The Colonel.” NardwuarThe Human Serviette versusThe San Diego Chicken

Nardwuar: Who are you? you’re right; I actually met some goth Chicken: Yes. Oh, yes. I’m not a franchise. San Diego Chicken: In real life I’m The chicks. They were very cool. But I’ve also I’m not a department store Santa Claus. I’m San Diego Chicken... or maybe that’s my been on stage with many bands. George one of a kind, just like you are, Nardwuar. alter-ego. But in reality—which nobody Thorogood, J. Geils Band—I’m dating Nardwuar: Famous Chicken, you also likes—Ted Giannoulas from London, myself a little bit. But I even stopped Elvis integrate Devo into your act. You’ve got NOntario, Canada. cold one night, to tell you how far back I some Devo in there. “Whip It.” Nardwuar: You are the Famous Chicken! go. I stopped him cold in laughter one night Chicken: Oh yes, I’m a big Devo-tee, you Chicken: Yes, of course! The one and only in the middle of a show. might say. And one of the things I do is I San Diego Famous Chicken. Whoo! Can Nardwuar: What were you doing at an Elvis bring out a rubber mannequin dressed up as you believe it? It’s better than getting a real show? You go from Elvis, to now. That’s an umpire or a referee and I basically bang job, Nardy. incredible, Famous Chicken. him around. It’s a wrestling match that I Nardwuar: Now, Famous Chicken, does it go Chicken: Nardwuar, the chicken is win thanks to “Whip It.” And so I took the DOOWKHZD\EDFNWR+DUSR0DU[">1DUGZXDU everywhere. Y’know, I was there, believe it music from “Whip It” and merged it with this SXOOVRXWD+DUSR0DU[UHFRUG@ or not, because he was visiting San Diego. unique act that I thought of that was inspired Chicken: [Kissing noises] I gotta tell ya, I had to take in an Elvis show. This was by the music, and, really, it’s been a Chicken this guy was the San Diego Chicken without about a year before he passed away. And I signature for many years. a beak back in the day. This guy was a real ZDVJRR¿QJLQWKHJUDQGVWDQGVDQGGRZQWKH Nardwuar: And, Famous Chicken, do you inspiration for me, I must say. aisles while he was singing. And he doubled have bubblegum? Is there bubblegum? Nardwuar: I have a quote here: “The Famous over in laughter, stopped the show, could Chicken: There was a time when there was Chicken story is classic Americana.” not continue, apologized to the audience bubblegum and it was made by the Wrigley Chicken: Well, yes, but the roots are in and then told everybody, “I gotta remind Corporation back in the ‘80s. And it was a London, Ontario, where I started off. All the chicken, my manager’s name is The short-lived thing. And a lot of people, a lot of I did, Nardwuar, was take my Canadian Colonel.” Ahhhhhh! collectors, bought it. But the kids wouldn’t schoolboy humor and market it at an Nardwuar: Elvis! The Famous Chicken! buy it because they thought it might taste American sports event and voila, here I am, How about Alice Cooper? like chicken, when in fact it was just chicken Chicken A La King! Chicken: Oh, I never met Alice. bubblegum in my likeness in terms of form. Nardwuar: It’s not an easy life being the San Nardwuar: Because he has a chicken Nardwuar: Famous Chicken, in 1998 you Diego Chicken is it, Famous Chicken? incident, doesn’t he? What can you say about said that you played to over sixty million Chicken: Oh, no. I guess not. You’ve got to that, Famous Chicken? people in your career. Now it’s 2008. cross a lot of roads and keep your head up Chicken: It’s very interesting. I did not Looking at all the stadiums you’ve covered, and look both sides of your beak. But I gotta know that chicken, I must say. But whatever how many people have you played to? How tell ya, it’s fun. It adds a lot of frivolity when he did, I must say it helped eliminate my many millions? I do various sporting events and, best of all competition, at least for one night. Chicken: Well, I’ve got to say, it’s more than Nardy, it’s better than getting a real job. Nardwuar: Ba-boom! You brought seventy million people in live attendance, Nardwuar: It’s like being in a band! You’re rock‘n’roll to baseball, didn’t you? You believe it or not, Nardwuar. I’ve even grand on the road, on the road. You’re in a band! brought it? PDUVKDOHG 0DUGL *UDV SDUDGHV ,¶YH GRQH You’re working it. Chicken: That’s true. World Series events, all-star games... I’ve Chicken: That’s a good point. And rather Nardwuar: Nobody had done that before, gone around the world: eight countries, four than playing bass or getting on the drums, had they? continents, performed wherever a laugh is I guess you’re out there cavorting for a few Chicken: And here’s the reason why, appreciated. Heck, Nardwuar, if you know laughs. But you’re right. You play to an Nardwuar. I started off with a rock‘n’roll me, I’ll even play to an elevator if I have to. audience every night. You gotta love what radio station back in the ‘70s. So I did a lot of Nardwuar: Seventy million people have you do. You create on the spot as well. things that were off the wall, unprecedented, watched the Famous Chicken. Who else has And you gotta rehearse a little bit. You’re and unheard of. And it just manifested itself, been watched by that many people in the absolutely right. The only thing... I don’t so to speak. I can’t believe a chicken just history of people? have groupies, though. said the word “manifested.” But, anyway, it Chicken: Oh, thank you. That’s a good Nardwuar: Well, you might have had just kind of snowballed in effect and it really question. And I thought about this. JURXSLHV ZKHQ \RX 0&¶HG IRU WKH took off. So I brought recorded music to live 0D\EH 7KH 5ROOLQJ 6WRQHV REYLRXVO\ , Ramones. What can you say about working stadium events because of my background think they’ve played to about one or two with the Ramones? and roots in rock‘n’roll with a radio station percent of the entire world’s population. Chicken: Ooohhh! How did you know in San Diego. I gotta say, probably Bob Hope when he that? Nardy! You know your stuff, buddy. Nardwuar: You, the same person that’s in was alive by virtue of all the USO shows Willie Nelson, neighborhood, then everything else must of famers... uh, kissed a lot of hall of who’s still going... revolve around it. When you live out in famers shall I say, back in her day and Nardwuar: And the Famous Chicken! California, you don’t get that kind of attention. she had quite a cult following. Chicken: Of course! Can you believe it? That’s just the way it is. I don’t worry about Nardwuar: Famous Chicken, we have And I don’t even have a big band behind those things myself, y’know. The fact of the hockey. Joe Louis Arena. me. I’m just one of a kind, waddling around matter is I don’t see the Phillie Phanatic in Chicken: I’ve played a lot of venues in the the globe. Vancouver! Whooo! NHL and throughout the minor leagues in Nardwuar: Now, Famous Chicken, you’re Nardwuar: Yeahhh! Famous Chicken, I hockey, and I enjoy it. Believe it or not, my #1 to me. would like to ask you about someone who position growing up in hockey when I was a Chicken: Thank you! is really famous. Famous Chicken, I hugged kid in Canada, I played goalie. So you might Nardwuar: However, Forbes Magazine \RXEXW\RX¶YHEHHQNLVVHGE\0RUJDQQD say a chicken is good in a cage. has you as the #2 mascot of all time. Phillie the Kissing…. Nardwuar: You’re quite mean sometimes Phanatic is #1. How come? Chicken: Bandit! Oh yes, absolutely! aren’t you Famous Chicken? Chicken: Yep, because they’re bean Nardwuar: :KR LV 0RUJDQQD WKH .LVVLQJ Chicken: 0HDQ",QZKDWUHJDUG" counters. They don’t understand what’s Bandit? And is she the competition? Nardwuar: You’re mean to dinosaurs! going on in the real world. Things like that Chicken: Well, y’know, back in the Chicken: 2KKKK>ODXJKV@0\IULHQG\RX happen, Nardwuar. It’s like them ranking day she was a very voluptuous—to put are doing your homework! Yes! You might bands. They’d be the last people you’d go it politely—a very voluptuous young say that. There’s a certain purple dinosaur “Oh, I wonder who Forbes Magazine thinks lady who had a tendency to go on to that I, well, I can’t explain it. Here I am is the best band in the world right now?” the baseball diamonds and hockey rinks doing my show and the guy shows up. And Nardwuar: What’s the deal on the Phillie and basketball courts and kiss athletes he’s obviously jealous of all the attention Phanatic, though? He has a hot dog launcher. during the timeout breaks right on their I’m getting and he challenges me right then Do you think that put him to #1, having a hot peckers. Or, er, for me at least. And I and there in the middle of the diamond to dog launcher? gotta tell ya, she ganged up on me one a dance contest. Well, then he starts break Chicken: No, no. It’s because they’re back night, unbeknownst to me, and laid a big dancing and kind of shows me up and East and it’s the media centre of the capital one right on me and it was a tremendous FRPSOLFDWLRQVHQVXHDQGDVODS¿JKWEHJLQV of the world back there. And if it’s in their thrill, I must say. But she did a lot of hall and, hey, I had to put him down. 27

Nardwuar: You had the last word. You he didn’t appreciate, like untying his [Nardwuar pulls out a copy of Razorcake] always have the last word. shoelaces when he was in the corner, or but he just sets up and plays his drums. Chicken: I gotta put ‘em down. In fact, true tripping him by the ankles when he wasn’t The Rhythm Chicken. story here Nardwuar. The guy actually sued looking. And he got so fed up, Nardwuar, Chicken: Wow. I remember a few years me. The Barney people actually sued me to he actually jumped the ropes and started ago Burger King had a character that was try and stop me from doing that routine and chasing me through the arena and he like, you could say, a “punk” chicken. they lost that lawsuit and they also had to pay was disqualified. He was counted out. That was a little fascinating. But I did not all my legal bills. So that was pretty cool. So I kinda helped Jerry Lawler win that know about the Rhythm Chicken. That is Nardwuar: Take that, Barney! wrestling match against him. very cool. Nardwuar: Have you heard of the Rhythm Chicken? [Nardwuar shows a picture of The Rhythm Chicken] Chicken: No. No. In fact, that looks like a bunny.

Chicken: How do you like me now, Nardwuar: What do the players think of Nardwuar: The Rhythm Chicken. Have dinosaur guy?! you? What’s your interaction? Like, are they you done much stuff with the Brewers, the Nardwuar: Famous Chicken, how do you always down with it? What players don’t 0LOZDXNHH%UHZHUV" keep so clean? Here we are at a baseball have a good time and what players have had Chicken: 1R,¶YHEHHQLQWR0LOZDXNHHIRU diamond with all this dirt‘n’stuff. a good time with the Famous Chicken? the Bucks of the NBA and for their minor Chicken: Well, I just took a bird bath, Nardwuar. Chicken: You’d be surprised, Nardwuar. A league hockey team known as the Admirals, So I’ll be ready for the game tonight. lot of the players actually think of the gags but I’ve never been in there for the Brewers. Nardwuar:%HFDXVH\RXURXW¿WLVLPSHFFDEOH and routines for me. They do have a good Although I did a cameo appearance many Chicken: Ohhh! It is impeccable! I like that sense of humor. And when you play 162 years ago just for an inning break. But one! I’m stealing that one. That’s a good one! games, and a guy in a chicken suit shows up, WKH\¶YH QHYHU KDG PH RQ RI¿FLDOO\ DV D I like it! [kisses Nardwuar]. believe me, it tends to break the monotony marquee event. Nardwuar: Thank you so much Famous for them, they tell me. So they’ve come up Nardwuar: You should team up with the Chicken. I guess that’s what I was curious with gags and routines for me as well. But Rhythm Chicken. I think that would be about. Cleaning and stuff. Do you get to go of the guys who didn’t appreciate it, one of amazing, the Rhythm Chicken and the into the showers with A-Rod? Do you get to them was Frank Thomas, who’s now in the Famous Chicken. He’d bring his drums. clean up? twilight of his career. You’d have a great time. Chicken: [laughs] I don’t like to go in Nardwuar::KDWGLGKH¿QGRIIHQVHZLWK" Chicken: That would be really great. I bet he there too much because they kind of get Chicken: Oh, just my showing up. He just handles those skins pretty good. I’ll have to jealous of me, they kind of peek at my WKRXJKWWKDW,ZRXOGEHJRR¿QJLQDQGDURXQG check it out. 0F1XJJHWV ,W¶V D UHDO EX]]NLOO WKHUH LQ with him, something that he really didn’t Nardwuar: He is a totally professional the shower. I wait for the boys to be done, want. It was nothing personal. I had nothing drummer just like you are a totally professional and then I go in there. planned with him, but he’d make a scene in the LQGLYLGXDO0LVWHU)DPRXV&KLFNHQ Nardwuar: What about yourself? Have locker room, thinking I was going to approach Chicken: That is very cool. I did not know you ever been unmasked? Has anyone ever him, but I’m really talking to his teammates. about that there, Nardwuar. tried to get an unauthorized photo of the Things like that. Can I say… I know there was Nardwuar: Famous Chicken, lastly here, Famous Chicken? a lot of steroid use in those days, back a few you’ve also played the Grand Ol’ Opry? Chicken: Oh, no. That’s no fun. That’s like years ago, and I’m not pointing or castigating Chicken: Wow, man. I gotta tell you, pulling down Santa’s beard or seeing who anybody, but I’m just wondering what’s true Nardwuar, you are doing your homework. Batman really is. Nobody wants that. For and what’s ‘roid rage sometimes? Yes, I was onstage at the Grand Ol’ Opry heaven’s sake, that’s real life. We’re just Nardwuar: What other chickens are there? and I did “Whole Lotta Shakin’ Goin’ On” trying to have a little fun here. Chicken: To my knowledge, I’m the only to chicken lyrics. Or you might just say Nardwuar: You have let people, Famous one in existence. clucking, a lot of clucking around. But it Chicken, into your suit? You let Pete Rose Nardwuar: Let me offer up another chicken, was in front of 5,000 people there, on a live into your suit. for you, Famous Chicken. We have here, broadcast. Really, I got to tell ya, I felt what Chicken: Yes, absolutely. Pete Rose actually the Rhythm Chicken. Have you heard of LWZDVOLNHWREH0LFN-DJJHUVWUXWWLQJDURXQG JRW LQWR P\ VXLW IRU :UHVWOH0DQLD +H the Rhythm Chicken? [Nardwuar shows a like a rooster. actually stole it right out of my locker. He picture of The Rhythm Chicken] Nardwuar: Well, thanks so much for your went out into the ring. He tried to disguise Chicken: No. No. In fact, that looks like time Famous Chicken. Keep on rockin’ in the himself as me and then he ended up getting a bunny. free world, and doot doola doot doo... bodyslammed. Served him right, I gotta say. Nardwuar: That’s the whole gag. He Chicken: Whoop, woo, wouda, woop, woop, Nardwuar: Did you have to wrestle Jesse dresses like a bunny, but he calls himself woo, yeah! “The Body” Ventura? the Rhythm Chicken. Chicken: Yes, I did, my friend. Good, Chicken: Oh, okay. that’s right. It was at a wrestling match—I Nardwuar: And he plays at Brewers games. To hear this interview hop to was in the corner for Jerry “The King” Chicken: I did not know that. www.nardwuar.com Lawler, and Jesse “The Body” Ventura Nardwuar: He’s a columnist for was the wrestler and I did stuff that this esteemed magazine, Razorcake, 29 “It’s just I’M AGAINST IT POWERLAZYI POP IMICK POLICEI that 5 is a REV Fibonacci . NORBI number.” 22 OR NOT 22? or TEXT US, TEXT US, KILL KILL KILL “He who fucks nuns will later join the church” RIIDQGJRIHWFKP\4XLVSŒÀDYRUHGSHUVRQDO u-s-l-y t-e-x-t-i-n-g r-e-s-p-o-n-s-e-s to said Joe Strummer, which i like to think means lubricant, underclassman!)) – which is what everyone who had texted me in my lifetime. It something like “the people who talk the most makes it so doubly tragic that I, Rev. Nørb, ZDV DPXVLQJ DW ¿UVW IRU WKH VKHHU JLGG\ about their alleged incorruptibility are the have once again strayed from the path of continental-drift-paced novelty of it all, but, as Hones most likely to be corrupted” ((but admit righteousness, and joined another metaphorical my slow-mo mudslide of texts plodded on, i may mean something completely different, church ((or perhaps fucked another found that the one line i still could not cross like “got two bob for potato croquettes then?” metaphorical nun. I really don’t understand was the use of the numeral “2” as a substitute or similar)). One would think that, bolstered the metaphor, though that does not impinge for “to” or “too.” I absolutely CAN NOT bring by this sage advice, I’d tend to avoid making upon my ability to quote it repeatedly)): I have myself to use “2” or “4” or “U” in a text sweeping proclamations of how much doing now actually SENT AND RECEIVED TEXT message, even thought it’s completely logical, this that or the other thing sucks, and how I’m 0(66$*(6 )URP D &(// 3+21( That, appropriate, and saves time. SIR, I OUTRIGHT never gonna do said thing in my life, just to my friends, is a mighty portly nun to service. I REJECT THE CONCEPT OF SERVICING avoid looking like a douche when I wind up mean, text messaging??? Who the FUCK THIS PARTICULAR NUN! Which is odd, capitulating and doing whatever it was I so invented this shit??? It’s slow, it’s tedious, and because when I did my fanzine SiCK TEEN in loudly said I’d never do, but, yet, goddammit, it’s distracting. It’s like one rung up the the early 80’s, I would ALWAYS use “2” and , ¿QG WKDW , 67,// 67$1' 23326(' 72 evolutionary ladder from the telegraph, except “4” and “U” when I wrote. I mean, fucking ALL THAT I HAVE NEVER EVER DONE it makes you inattentive and crash commuter $/:$<60\ SURXGHVW PRPHQW DV D ³URFN 21&( ,1 0< /,)( 217+( *5281'6 WUDLQV DQG VKLW ,0LQJ kind of makes sense: FULWLF´ ,1 0< /,)(7,0( ZDV ZKHQ 7ZLQ 7+$7$6(9,1&('%<0<127+$9,1* NO sense whatsoever, unless µ+227(1$11<¶$/%80´in the print ads I have no prurient interest in such dealings, of you’re a middle school student and you’re for that record -- using “2” and “4” and “U” course – It’s just that 5 is a Fibonacci number secretly texting subversive messages about looked cool, seemed punk, and saved time and [[you know, 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21, 34 etc. – %HDYLV *ODGHŒ DQG 0U %LOOŠ WR \RXU space. Now it makes ya look like some dildo you add the last two numbers of the sequence buddies across the classroom. It takes like four who watches The Suite Life of Zach & Cody together to create the next number]], and I days to compose a ten-word message, which DQGHDWV*R*XUWŠ±EXWLWGRHVVWLOOVDYHWLPH believe that the Fibonacci Numbers are some you then send to someone whose phone and space. AND, in the painfully laborious manner of mathematical blueprint which QXPEHU E\ GH¿QLWLRQ \RX DOUHDG\ KDYH I FRQWH[W RI WH[WLQJ ,7 0$.(6 3(5)(&7 determine what the optimal combinations of mean, couldn’t I just CALL somebody and FUCKING SENSE TO USE “2” INSTEAD participants in group sex should be. All non- ask them “are you going to the party?” instead OF “TO” AND “TOO.” And yet – and yet – I Fibonacci numbers of participants – 4, 7, 9, of texting “2, arrow, 7, 7, 7, arrow, 3, 3, arrow, can’t bring myself to do it. Somehow, The 10, 11, 12, etc. – should be avoided like the 1, arrow, 9, 9, 9, arrow, 6, 6, 6, arrow, 8, 8, Kids – THOSE GODDAMN KIDS™! – plague, lest your next madcap holiday orgy arrow, 1, arrow, 4, arrow, 6, 6, 6, arrow, 4, 4, have taken my 2 and my 4 and my U from me come off as a bit of a dud. All zany group sex arrow, 6, 6, arrow, 4 ,arrow, 1, arrow, 8, arrow, – THE SAME 2 AND 4 AND U I WAS USING scenarios should always include a Fibonacci 6, 6, 6, arrow, 1, arrow, 8, arrow, 4, 4, arrow, ,1  *2''$00,7 – And have made number of participants, with the male/female 3, 3, arrow, 1, arrow, 7, arrow, 2, arrow, 7, 7, me feel shame every time I try to utilize them. ratio determined by the preceding two 7, arrow, 8, arrow, 9, 9, 9, arrow, 1, arrow, 1, When texting, I will TYPE the “2” in there – Fibonacci numbers, the larger determining the 1, 1, 1”? ((note to self: Next time I want to run then back up, erase the “2”, then replace it number of female participants, and the smaller an experiment to see if Tim Yohannan can with “8, arrow, 6, 6, 6” to spell out “to” and determining the males. So, if you have an actually spin in his grave, I’m writing an entire avoid giving off the lame-o vibe that those old HLJKWVRPH LW VKRXOG EH ¿YH JLUOV DQG WKUHH column like the last line)). Now, like any good guys who used to come to shows with cotton guys. A thirteensome should be eight girls and trip to the dark side, my introduction to texting in their ears gave off when I was in high ¿YHJX\V$¿YHVRPHVKRXOGEHWKUHHJLUOVDQG was instigated by a female. Clueless as to the school. Then, of course, I think “FUCK YOU, two guys. A sixsome is right out. You’ll also location of a post-roller derby after party, a *2''$01.,'6,7¶6MY 2! MY 4! MY notice that there are a few 1’s in the Fibonacci skater offered to “text” the address to me. I U!” ((“0\the Offspring got sued for ripping off)). I’m not much for the value of karaoke in ANY context, but it starts to get cool: Sparkle Plenty, one of the original Rollergirls who spearheaded the sport’s modern-day revival, is dancing across the stage in a drunken stupor. Sparkle is totally cool – she’s tall, smart, good looking, funny, and skates a half-pipe in her backyard. At this point in time, however, Sparkle is absolutely out of her mind drunk, kicking over music stands like a six foot tall Patti Smith with ADD. Sparkle boots a stand into the metaphorical cheap seats, then concludes this brief performance by falling off the stage herself, gashing her chin as she makes gravity’s stern acquaintance. The bandleader – hippily attired in white slacks and a matching white LFHFUHDPPDQKDW±LVPRUWL¿HGE\WKHVLJKWRI some crazy chick booting over music stands during “Bloodstains.” He angrily signals the band to stop playing, then berates the crowd, explaining that the band is “working hard” for our pleasure, and that we have to show them love and respect, because, dammit, shit is getting all fucked up, and somebody spilled a drink on his effects pedal, and we just can’t DO that. The crowd – a sea of wasted Roller girls and a few weird statistical outlier dudes like me – ushers in the Obama era by responding with “YES! WE! CAN!!! YES! WE! CAN!!!”,WLVDVRI$0&67 WKHGH¿QLQJPRPHQWRIWKH2EDPD3UHVLGHQF\ The hippie ice cream man is beside himself with righteous indignation. Furious, he threatens us with “Stairway to Heaven.” The crowd keeps chanting “YES! WE! CAN!!!” It is the punkest sequence of events I’ve seen in years. The band launches into “Stairway,” but, at this point, RYAN GELATIN nobody cares. DO YOUR WORST, ICE &5($00$1,WLVDQHSRFKDOH[SHULHQFHD turning point of some sort; a triumphant UHVXUJHQFHRIWKHJRR¿HVWFXOWXUDOQDWXUH%HLQJ a tuned-in cat and prophet of note, I am compelled except it makes to share the experience with others – to reach out, to connect, to convey every precious detail DQGQXDQFHRIWKLVOLIHDI¿UPLQJUXFNXVWREROGO\ you inattentive tune the rest of the globe in to this vital and electrifyin’ cultural happenstance! So I pull out my cell phone: “9, 9, 9, arrow, 6, and crash commuter 6, 6, arrow, 8, 8, arrow, 1, arrow…” Love, 6, 6, arrow, 6, 6, 6, arrow, 7, 7, 7, arrow, 2, 2 trains and shit. 31 I’M AGAINST IT “We want music SQUEEZE MY HORN videos, not a GARY HORNBERGER psychology experiment!” CHANNELING DEATH

In the year 2009, we shall have a new isn’t for adult content, because Two and a buttocks to the neck and hair, fur, or feathers political body. I understand that their hands Half Men is on at seven and that show has everywhere else, yet no eyes. And he has will be full with the world’s problems, all the sexual content one needs to become human genitals. This comic is like one, big but I would like to see them put television a young pimp. I could make it into late night high school nonsense joke. Very confused Iprogramming on the endangered species list. WDON VKRZV LI , KDG VRPH WHQ 30 FRPHG\ on the point of this one. (Buenaventura I believe this is necessary after one rough sitcoms, but, instead, I fall asleep. Press, PO Box 23661 Oakland, CA 94623, week of crap. First, were The American When I was a kid, all we did was watch www.buenaventurapress.com) Music Awards. It’s bad enough when the sitcoms and they lasted season after season. music powers shove so-called pop bands Take Cheers, for example. How many years NIGHTLIGHT COMICS up our ass, but when it’s the Pussycat Dolls, did that get put out? How about Happy Days, BUZZPOP/ where are bands that actually write their own Lavern and Shirley, and Hogan’s Heroes? DROP DEAD DUMB music and play their own instruments? The Which one of these shows only lasted a By Travist/ Chic, $3.00 U.S. other big disappointment of the week was season? That’s what I thought. None of them This is one of those comics that save space Dancing with the Stars three-hour bullshit did, and they lasted a good, long time. by being a two-in-one. When you’re done bonanza. Just give the winner that disco nut I realize that cable’s available now, but UHDGLQJWKH¿UVWFRPLFWXUQLWXSVLGHGRZQ trophy and get it over with. I’m not about to pay money for programs I and go to the back page and start reading It wasn’t too long ago that my wife and just won’t be able to watch. Hell, even the the next comic. I like them both for different I joked that we were giving the kiss of death stuff on cable gets screwed up. Just look reasons. I’ll start with Drop Dead Dumb. This to the sitcoms we enjoyed tuning into. If we DW ZKDW KDV KDSSHQHG WR 079079 XVHG one is drawn very sharp and is a collection of liked it, the networks would instantly drop to be cutting edge. It presented us with three stories. The best story is the biography the show. It started with a show called Cupid, music that was new and different. Then it of a band called Alabama Jihad. The only which starred Jeremy Piven as the real cupid, started giving us nothing but rap and reality problem is that the lettering is so damn small entertaining people in a support group. shows. Who watches music television to you’ll have crossed eyes and a headache Then there was The Andy Richter Show and see how people get along when they are all when you’re done. On to Buzzpop. This one Grounded for Life, shows that had short shelf thrown in a house together? We want music is more of an action comic with superheroes, lives. There was a lull while all the reality videos, not a psychology experiment! This GUDZQFULVSO\\HWZLWKPRUHÀRZ7KLVRQH¶V VKRZV¿OOHGWKHWXEH%XWMXVWUHFHQWO\WKHNLVV is how all television loses viewers. They about a girl and her indestructible guitar, of death reappeared, when it was announced give something new then they break it by which she uses to subdue purse snatchers, in the newspaper that Pushing Daisies and adding some nonsense, or they take it to a as well as use in her band. These two work Eli Stone were being cancelled. different night, or they force us to watch re- well together. Kind of makes one feel Why has the American sitcom found the runs so that we lose interest. It seems that like they get something extra for nothing. way of the dodo in favor of reality (if one can the networks have mastered a formula for (Drop Dead Dumb, 2214 Beasley Ave., NW FDOOLWWKDW VKRZVRUWKHWRLOHWÀXVKNQRZQDV disaster. It seems to work on everything I Huntsville, AL 35816, Night Light Comics, Harvey Levin’s TMZ (which is a whole other like. So, if there is something you like on TV, 32 %R[  0LOZDXNHH :,  article to complain about)? Is money so tight don’t tell me about it. Because if I latch on to wwwnightlightcomics.com) that they can’t pay actors, so they get some it, it is sure to be cursed with the Hornberger weirdo off the street who has no problem kiss of death. RUNX TALES #1 embarrassing themselves? %\0DWW5XQNOH" I would also like to know why shows BOY’S CLUB 2 This is new for me. I had never read a need to be repeated half way through the %\0DWW)XULH86 comic that is purely homosexual in content. season when they have new episodes ready. The only way I can describe Boy’s Club, I guess I should have paid more attention I found this with Lost, which one has to pay is that it is foul-mouthed Sesame Street to the cover with the “Abba expose” and close attention to anyway. Then there is a re- LQ D GUXJ¿OOHG FXOWXUH 7KHUH DUH IRXU ³7KH *D\QHVV RI 0DUULDJH´ WLWOHV 7KH run or two thrown in the middle and the show characters: one looks like a dog, another a ³*D\QHVVRI0DUULDJH´LVSUHWW\IXQQ\ZLWK ORVHVLWVÀRZ,W¶VQRZRQGHUWKDWSHRSOHORVH frog, a hairy bird with no eyes, and, well, I’m the consideration that a wedding really has interest in a show when this happens, and not real sure about the fourth, because he’s many gay qualities to it, though I’m not sure that’s on shows that build suspense over an somewhere between the frog and the dog only a gay person can pull one off. Runx entire season. This also happens with the LQORRNV0RVWO\ZKDWJRHVRQLQWKHSDJHV Tales, I will have to admit, is interesting—if half hour comedies. Once they do a rerun, I of this book is bathroom humor, smoking not different—reading for myself, yet it switch channels; I lose interest. dope, and practical jokes. It seems that these does tend to get boring toward the end. It 5LJKW QRZ , ZDWFK DOO 0RQGD\ QLJKW characters speak in some sort of cool urban does, however, give an interesting view on and a half hour on Thursday religiously, and lingo. I will say there is one disturbing something I’ve never really put into my ,¶PKRSLQJQRQHRIWKRVHVKRZVJHWFXW0\ panel, when we see the bird with no eyes head. It’s sort of a romp in someone else’s other concern is why at ten o’clock does all taking a shower. I just can’t understand skin. ([email protected]) television turn to crime shows? I know it why this creature has bare skin from the MAYNARD Is money so tight that they get some weirdo off the street who has no problem embarrassing themselves? THE WORK OF A YOUNG, MORE WORK FROM AN my early punk days that the group of guys I UNFED AND UNKNOWN UNKNOWN CARTOONIST ran with had this joke of giving this one GG CARTOONIST By Noah Van Sciver, $2.00 U.S. Allin album to whoever was next in line to By Noah Van Sciver, $1.00 or a coffee 0RUHWDOHVRIDQJHUKDWHDQGZKDWWKHKHOO have a birthday. I never received this album, I must start by saying that after reading this 7KLV LV WKH IROORZ XS WR 0U 9DQ 6FLYHU¶V yet it seemed that the real reason was that comic, I have no desire to travel to Denver ¿UVW GRZQWURGGHQ KLODULRXV FRPLF ZRUN it was horrible to listen to while it absolved and ride on one of their buses. Granted, any , HQMR\HG WKH WLWOH ³0\ -RE $SSOLFDWLRQ´ the person of getting a decent present for bus ride where a guy offers me Doritos out of where every job he takes, he has to clean the the birthday boy. With that said, look at the a big bag for a buck a handful must be going restroom, and every time someone has left guy’s videos: spitting, shitting, and bleeding WR D ¿HU\ GHPLVH , UHDOO\ OLNHG WKLV FRPLF him a present somewhere besides the toilet. at his concerts for everybody to share. That because this guy really likes to complain Unfortunately, this seems to be astonishingly doesn’t sound like a lot of fun to me. So and has no problem making fun of himself. true in public restrooms. The contents of this when I started reading this, I held many Take, for example, the ad he puts in to have book contain more tales of woe and confusion doubts. Fortunately for this writer, this is a VH[ ZLWK KLP ZKLFK LQFOXGHV VXFK EHQH¿WV for the characters (usually Noah). Once more, very interesting historical look at someone as, “gaining a skeleton in your closet” or , WLS P\ KDW WR \RX 0U 9DQ 6FLYHU *RRG ZKR SXW D ¿QJHUSULQW RQ SXQN ,W LV D ORRN “brushing up on your acting skills.” What girl job! (Noah Van Sciver, 1165 Grant St. #307, from a fan’s point of view, which gives this wouldn’t take a chance on that, if not only Denver, CO 80203, [email protected]) some feeling of normality while exploring a for the comedic value? This little book is man who was far from normal. This was an full of cynicism and is a romp in the park of, SLAP IN THE FACE: enjoyable read and a keeper for those who “what could happen next?” Although I had MY OBSESSION WITH enjoy punk history. to strain my eyes to read it, it was well worth GG ALLIN ([email protected], WKHHIIRUW0\H\HVVHHPWREHDUHRFFXUULQJ %\-XVWLQ0HONPDQQ86 www.melkmanncomics.blogspot.com, problem. I better get them checked out. (N This one hits home for so many reasons. www.myspace.com/worldwarix, Van Sciver, 1165 Grant St. #307, Denver, CO 0DLQO\KRZFDQDQ\RQHKDYHDQREVHVVLRQ Commixpress, www.comixpress.com) 80203, noahvansciver.com) with GG Allin? It wasn’t too long ago in –Gary 33 James Ewing Compiled by Lauren Measure and Maddy Tight Pants 1983-2008

ON THE MORNING OF NOVEMBER 5TH, But we had these qualities in Jimbo, and I I’LL SKIP THE EPIC HISTORY. I’ve known Jamie Ewing, best known as the singer/ think we all knew it. I think we knew we Jimbo for a long, long time; through good were around greatness, and even better, times and bad, and I wouldn’t trade any of it guitarist of the Brooklyn band Bent Outta it was a greatness that wanted us around. for anything. Here’s my story. There’s a lot of Shape, passed away in his sleep. Desperately. He just wanted us around. friendly bullshit said between people in bands When I was younger, growing up on who’ve met on the road and become friends. +H ZDV WZHQW\¿YH \HDUV ROG DQG LV Long Island, Jamie was “little Jamie” and he “Let’s do a split 7”!” “Let’s tour together!” survived by his parents, brother, and sister. followed me around at a ska show one night. “Hey, when I get a chance, I’ll move out A native of Long Island and a long-time After a few years, he moved to Brooklyn, and East and we’ll start a band.” Rarely does Brooklyn resident, Jamie was a much loved from that point on, I followed him. I looked any of this actually happen. But I felt such member of the punk community and played up to him because he made me believe in a bond with Jimbo that when the opportunity more recently in bands such as the Young things again. He wasn’t afraid. There was arose, I packed up my car and drove from 0HQ DQG WKH 5DGLR )DFHV +H ZDV NQRZQ fearlessness in his writing and his life. Doubts 0LOZDXNHH WR %URRNO\Q RYHU WKH FRXUVH RI as the scrappy kid in the plaid shirt—always and longing, sure. But those just made his a snowy February night in 2007. I’ve never cracking a joke—with an amazing talent for efforts that much more real. Watching him met anyone like him, so talented and easy to songwriting. Jamie was a character. He stood play guitar and share his yearning, his love, work with, yet such a perfectionist. We could out from the crowd as an incredibly talented, and desperation, I just wanted to be around. spend half an hour on one line. He felt that extremely friendly, and always helpful guy. I wanted to glean some of that honesty for lyrics really needed to mean something, not Anyone who knew him undoubtedly had a myself. We all did. And he gave it to us in so pretentious meaning, but that no word or line funny story about Jamie and he never ceased many ways. We miss him because we loved could be wasted. We were the Radio Faces. to amaze those around him with his late night him, but we also miss how much he loved us. Writing, practicing, and recording our Radio DQWLFVDQGDQDPD]LQJVHQVHRIKXPRU0XVLF He gave us so much of himself. If you were Faces album was awesome! We’d scream was a huge part of his life—from touring, his friend, then it was settled. He would be like Howard Dean, we’d jump up and do to playing in Brooklyn, to making cassette loyal to you forever and he’d give you what WKHVSOLWVOLNHFORZQV0LNH\6XOO\-LPER demos for friends—Jamie was always he had. It was the substance of all the right and me. Our shows were cool, but what I’ll working on something. Even his “business” politics with none of the blather. And I don’t remember most is sitting in his bedroom, FDUGDGYHUWLVLQJKLV0DQ:LWK$9DQVHUYLFHV ZDQWWRFDQRQL]HKLPIRU,¿QGOLWWOHFRPIRUW writing the songs. Jimbo and I were very sported the tagline “I’ll never be your beast of in the eulogies that sound like a saint we close. We shared so much, and there’s a hole burden.” His trademark drawing style could didn’t know. He was no saint. We knew that. in my heart right now that doesn’t look like EHVHHQRQFRXQWOHVVÀ\HUVDQGUHFRUGFRYHUV A lot of the stories of Jimbo are of his jokes, it’s gonna go away anytime soon. But moping leaving his mark everywhere. his playfulness, him being a crazy person. And all the time doesn’t help. So, I’ll play his The band Bent Outta Shape existed from he was. To me, those things were always part records LOUD, and always keep his memory roughly 2002 to 2006 and released an EP, two of him wanting things to be different. Every and love for life alive. Feel free to join me! split 7”s and a full-length LP. They toured the situation could be better, even if it was by just –Nato Coles U.S. and were hailed with bands like Drunken laughing at it. Sort of like, “If we’re laughing, Boat, Snuggle, and Ringers as a new wave and we’re together then we haven’t given up.” MUSICALLY, JAMIE WAS IN A LEAGUE OF of honest, underground punk. Drawing from He gave us that too. To look at this little man HIS OWN. His cassette demos are some of Replacements-style rock’n’roll and basement and think “provider” seems crazy, but he was. the best things I’ll ever hear. Any band he punk rock, Jamie sang heartfelt and poetic He provided us with so much. Now we’re was in was just phenomenal. I remember lyrics over the twang of his guitar leads. The left with recordings, stories, and an ache. standing inches in front of him at Bent band inspired fans across the country. Their Small comforts. Clichés. When I saw friends +RXVHRQHRIWKH¿UVWWLPHV,VDZWKH

MAGGIE SIMPSON music has ever meant to me. I threw money ³0DGG\"$VLQ0DWW\"´WU\LQJWRXQGHUVWDQG to play their last show. Jamie and I enjoyed that I couldn’t afford to spend at him solely the confusing gender implications of such each other’s company so much that, shortly because I wanted to always be able to listen DQDPH³1R´-DPLHUHSOLHG³0DGG\DVLQ after Bent Outta Shape broke up, we started a to those songs. I’ve never met a more genuine 0DGHOHLQH´7KHFRQYHUVDWLRQWKXVHQGLQJRQ QHZEDQGWKHBoston for music will stay available and accessible the bar while we headed downstairs to dance half the week nearly every week to practice, to those who seek it out. I will never forget like maniacs. A few hours later, we went UHFRUGDQGSOD\VKRZVZLWKWKH

35 KELLY LONE

SHIT BURNS YOU OUT AFTER A WHILE. It’s a fact It’s always great to see people on the “dude” level of life. You could watch the craziest, straight-up of things put their noses to the grindstone and come up best band every night of your life, but you’d still with something new—in this case, some classic doo-wop grow tired of them after a while. That’s why I like (which, according to them, has been subject to debate) The God Damn Doo Wop Band. It’s nice to have and soul, that is still genuine and non-derivative. But a change of pace once in a while, down a speed the kicker, as with any punks, there’s an inherent from the usual fast and/or angry punk rock or craziness, leading to some wild shows— I’ve caught a hardcore (even though some of the Doo Wop Band few, and it’s always great. After all, they gotta earn do that separately in other bands, anyway). that “God Damn” somehow. Interview by Joe Evans III Annie: Also, at its core, isn’t doo-wop just pop and they’re like, “Okay, you can’t say that or Photos by Kelly Lone, Amy K., music with more singers? swear,” and we’re like, “Well, what are you and courtesy of the band Saumer: Doo wop is basically about the going to do about our name then?” So we’ve Layout by Albert Lam sounds of the backup vocals, the nonsense been the Gosh Darn, the Golly Wolly… ZRUGV 7KDW¶V ZKDW RQH GH¿QLWLRQ RI GRR Dylan: 3OXV 035 WDNHV GRQDWLRQV IURP Kat: Vocals | Saumer: Vocals wop is, with the actual back up vocals... people. It’s not like a private radio station Annie: Vocals | Dave: Guitar Annie: …acting as instruments. where they can do whatever they want. We Dylan: Bass | Erik: Drums Saumer: Yeah, but with the nonsense words. were on another show on like Drive105 I read it in a “book” [Also kind of sarcastic] or something, where they could say “God Joe: Seriously, why did you decide to start a or something. But who cares? Damn.” It was more an issue with the public doo-wop band? Kat: The reason we ended up being called radio station. Saumer: Do we need to answer this seriously? The God Damn Doo Wop Band anyways was Kat: Radio monitoring. Joe: If you want, you can just have both a because we had written these songs. A bunch Saumer: People are real sticklers about the serious and a joke answer. of people already knew I was working on public radio monitoring, too. It’s all people who Kat: I’d written a couple of songs—“Don’t GRRZRSW\SHVWXIIDQ\ZD\DQG¿QDOO\ZH just want to give their money and love god. )RUJHW0H´DQG³2QH0RUH1LJKW´²EHIRUH KDGRXU¿UVWVKRZFRPLQJXSDQGZHGLGQ¶W Dave: We also just like having a multi- Annie: And didn’t you write one of those for have a band name. And the only way anyone faceted band name. either the Strait A’s or 24 Reasons Why? would know what the Kat: The Queers covering hell we were talking about—like if we came Kat: You can pretty much just remove the “God Skeeter Davis. It’s not exactly doo-wop, but up with some random name—no one would Damn” part and put anything else in there. you get the idea. And the Teen Idols. have any idea what it was or who we were Annie: We can be the Spruce Street Doo Annie: And the Ramones, let’s not forget. or what we were doing. So, seriously, when Wop Band. Kat: Like any “sha-la’s” and stuff like that. , ZDV PDNLQJXS WKHÀLHU , SXW LWRQ WKHUH Dave: Or the Paulie Shore Doo Wop Band. All that stuff is pop punk. I think I’m going People would ask, “What are you working Saumer: Or the H+R Doo Wop Band. to dig myself into another hole. “They didn’t on?” and I’d be like… Kat: And, most likely, everyone’s still going fuckin’ come up with that shit on their own!” Kat and Saumer: “It’s a god damn doo-wop to probably know who you’re talking about. [Laughing] band!” Dylan: If anyone criticizes and calls us a Joe: How do you respond to someone who Saumer: Personally, I’d be like, “Well, I have female pop band, we’ll just have to call it the accuses you of being a… doo-wop band practice.” We were writing the Doo Wop Based Band. Kat: Girl-fronted pop group? songs as doo-wop songs, but it wasn’t real Kat: Yeah, and I’m super worried that Joe: Instead of a doo-wop group. concerned about how the music came out. somebody’s going to call us a female-fronted Kat: Oh that’s never happened! [Sarcastic] It didn’t have to be so “traditionally” doo- pop band. “That sucks! How dare they!” Saumer: How do you respond to something wop. They were just playing music how they [Laughs] like that? knew how to play, and we would just sing Erik: The God Damn Girl Group? Kat: I’d say “yeah.” Okay, I mean, in the way we knew how to sing—but with as Kat: I think it was your bandmate Bill who theory, you should be able to take all of PXFKGRRZRSLQÀXHQFHWKDWZHNQHZKRZ I was trying to explain the idea. He’s like, the music away and still be able to have to do—and that’s really it. “Oh, you’re not a real doo-wop band.” But in a self-supporting song in order to have Kat: Fuck ‘em. the ‘50s, to blatantly be named “God Damn,” doo-wop. With a lot of our stuff you can Joe: Speaking of names, what’s the difference it wouldn’t fucking happen, and we’re not do that, and we would rather have four between the God Damn Doo Wop Band and a stereotypical ‘50s group. We’re fuckin’ vocal parts rather than three, but with how the Gosh Darn Doo Wop Band? uppin’ the punks. half-assed everything is already anyway, Kat: People’s parents have problems with it, Dave: We don’t like labels even though we throwing one more person into the fire is RYHUWKLV³EODVSKHP\´0\'DG¶VDPLQLVWHU labeled ourselves. ridiculous. And if they really want to get so this doesn’t go over too well. Also, one you Joe: I feel like that’s part of what appeals into the fact we’re not a doo-wop band, can say on the radio and the other you can’t. WR PH LQ JHQHUDO $W ¿UVW VRPHRQH ZRXOG fuck them! :HGLGVRPHWKLQJRQ0LQQHVRWD3XEOLF5DGLR probably just assume that you’re a jokey/ 37 novelty act, but, really, you’re genuinely into what you’re doing. In the past two days, we went to a house show one day and saw The Chiffons (classic ‘60s girl group) the next. Like, you’re down. Kat: That’s kind of the thing, too. Whenever we would get asked to play a show, every once in a while we’ll wear ‘50s dresses and stuff like that, but it’s not the case all the time. If we feel like doing it, we’re going to do it. If we don’t, we show up in our regular clothes. We’ve pretty much just done our tours in regular clothes, because who wants to be wearing some itchy taffeta dress every night on tour? Saumer: Or also wear the same dress, night after night? Kat: I’ll practically ruin them, per night, whenever we do, so that would just be really expensive. Saumer: The dresses came into it not to have a kitsch factor, but because we really like to wear KELLY LONE dresses [smiles]. It’s fun! Kat: It’s a legitimate excuse to wear PHOTO KELLY LONE a taffeta dress on a Tuesday night. Saumer: We’re still going to wear them even though someone may ¿QGLWFKHHV\

AMY K. Kat: I think getting compared to the Suicide Saumer: I’m getting better. I’m better at Annie: I was kind of hoping that she wouldn’t. Girls where it’s like “Oh, they wear these clapping and singing at the same time than [laughter]. fucking dresses and shit,” that’s the only time I am at dancing. Dancing and singing… Kat: Yeah, she was like [high, extra anyone has ever really considered us as a [shakes head] 0LGZHVWHUQ DFFHQWHG YRLFH@ ³+H\ .DW LI kitschy type thing, shtick, whatever. I mean, Annie: Is that why you don’t have “moves”? ya need an extra singer for that show, or any we do it because it’s fun. Saumer: I can wiggle a little. show, let me know!” Joe: I was going to mention the dresses Dave: It’s the “Saumer Saunter.” Erik: So, lesson learned: If you want to get a anyway, because I’ve seen you before, and Joe: When did Dave move from drums to FRROEDQGERRNDFRROVKRZ¿UVWDQGWKHUHVW a friend of mine complained that you weren’t guitar? will fall into place. wearing the dresses. Kat: We had a crew change. Saumer: Great idea! Kat: And that’s the freakin’ thing. We Dave: It was a gradual change. Dave:³:H¶OO¿JXUHLW²RND\KROGRQ²JLYH get guff no matter what we do! I can’t do Kat: Yeah, we just switched and then we me a week…” anything right. We’ll get asked to do shows VLPSOL¿HG D FRXSOH RI WKLQJV :KHQ ZH Joe: How long has Annie been promising a with people expecting us to be wearing them, SOD\HGWKH-RKQ:DWHUVVKRZLWZDVWKH¿UVW new record? but that doesn’t always happen. When we time (Erik) Silj played with us, not knowing [Everyone laughs] want to wear them, we wear them. that he had talked to our old singer, Carissa, Annie: I only did it once. And I lied… Joe: Is that why you got asked to play at a down in Gainesville at the Fest. He had said, Dave: It was a nice surprise. fashion show? “Hey, if you need a drummer for that John Annie: I lied. I hoped and had some wishful Kat: No, we actually didn’t even get to wear Waters show, you can have me do it!” which thinking. Well, that’s how The Soviettes did our own shit at the fashion show. We were I found out about later. So he started playing everything. We had a time limit because, for dressed up. GUXPVZLWKXVWKHQDIWHU,¿JXUHGKHGLGQ¶W whatever reason, we thought we had to have Joe: What was that for? want to play with us permanently. [laughs]. a record out every year. And we would get Dylan: It’s basically a local thing that Saumer: It wasn’t just a straight switch from it done. We would write songs in the studio, they do every year. It’s a big fundraiser for drums to guitar. He came back, revised. but we would get it fucking done. [Laughter. 0LQQHVRWD6SULQJERDUG)RU7KH$UWVZKLFK Kat: And actually he’s more guitarist than 6KUXJV@,MXVW¿JXUHGZH¶GJLYHRXUVHOYHVD is a cool thing. drummer. time limit. Annie: It’s a big huge fashion show and they Dave: I’d say I’m more of a drummer. Saumer: I’m glad you take that initiative. ask bands every year to play, regardless of Saumer: We barely know the guy. It’s good to have around. what they sound like. Dylan: I’m more of a keytar player. Kat: Plus we had a bunch of songs in our heads Dylan: It’s all these different styled bands. Dave: I’m really good at kazoo. But yeah, it anyway. That at least pushes them out. Kat: There were rock bands from here, there just happened because the old guitar player Joe: How did you end up playing the were dance bands. They pretty much cover was no longer in the band. Mallrats mall? everything across the board. The fashion show Joe: How did you end up opening up for Kat: 0\ ROG URRPPDWH .ULVWHQ ZRUNV IRU is all local designers who design clothes for all John Waters? some organization, and so we got asked if we the bands. They have designers doing runway Kat: I don’t even know. [laughs]. wanted to play a breast cancer fund raiser at shows while the bands are playing. All the Saumer: It was the public radio, right? For that mall. In one of the stores that was shut proceeds from the CDs and the door goes to some reason they thought that we’d be a down, they had a stage set up in there. We Springboard For The Arts. If bands or artists good match. were also part of a package where we got sold of any kind need loans to get something done, Dave: Probably because of Crybaby. with a bouncy castle and a bunch of hot dogs, of it they need a lawyer, they can provide that. Saumer: Yeah, it’s probably the ‘50s weirdo for like a graduation party or whatever. It’s basically all kinds of assistance for artists. kind of thing. Dave: Which we still need to do… Dylan: A big thing, too, is its artists’ access Kat: It’s funny, because about two days Saumer: Does that make any sense to you? to health care. We got to wear these cable guy before I got the phone call asking us to play, I Joe: Yeah. T-shirts. It was pretty awesome. was having this awesome breakdown where Saumer: We play a lot of “organized events.” Dave: I’m so glad I missed that. ,SXWRXWWKLV0\VSDFHEXOOHWLQ Dave: You should have asked us how we got Kat: Actually, for the fashion show, we got Saumer: One of your many. WRSOD\IRUWKH0LQQHVRWD7ZLQV dressed up as zombies. That was pretty fun. Kat: It said I need to get my shit together, Joe: How did you get asked to play for the Saumer: It was zombie prom… It’s funny, at and go to school or something, or some shit 0LQQHVRWD7ZLQV" that show there was the doo-wop band, and like that; otherwise I need to sell my songs to Saumer: The same thing. there was “The Dance Band.” Or maybe it was John Waters. And then two days later I’m at Dave: Because we got kicked out of that show! just “Dance Band,” which was kinda funny. work and I get this call saying, “Hey, this is Saumer: And they felt bad about it, so they Kat: We’re all now just claiming that we’re in /HLI/DUVRQIURP0LQQHVRWD3XEOLF5DGLR, ¿JXUHG²VR WKH UHDVRQ ZK\ ZH JRW NLFNHG a band with a label of some sort, prior to it. was wondering if the God Damn Doo Wop out is because the people who went there Saumer:³,W¶VD0LQQHDSROLVWKLQJ´ Band is still a band?” And I’m like, “Yeah,” were older… Kat: The next one will be The Pop Punk Band. and they’re like, “Oh, well good. We were Annie::DLW\RXSOD\HGIRUWKH0LQQHVRWD Joe: Saumer, how would you describe your looking for a band to open for John Waters,” Twins? dancing ability? and I’m just like, “Who the fuck is this?” Kat: It was for the Diamond Awards. [Everyone laughs] Saumer: You called me, freaking out. I got Annie: What? Why can’t we get shows like Dave: Nice! pretty excited too. Kinda dig the guy. He’s that now! Kat: Who did you talk to?! pretty awesome. So, yeah, we got to meet Saumer: Because they all ended up really badly! Saumer: [Pointing at Kat] That’s not from you? John Waters. That was a highlight. That’s Kat: And we get kicked out of all of them! Dave: I was actually thinking that. when we peaked. Dave: It was at The Depot (an old Kat:0D\EHIURPFRQYHUVDWLRQ Dave: It was interesting, too, because it was 0LQQHDSROLVWUDLQVWDWLRQFRQYHUWHGWRDQLFH Saumer: [Giving Joe a dirty look] A work PHDQG6LOM¶V¿UVWWLPHSOD\LQJRXUUHVSHFWLYH rink and hotel), and we were playing in the in progress [laughs]. It’s taking a very, very instruments in the band. corner, really quietly, to ourselves, basically. long time. I really don’t have much rhythm. Kat: And we had maybe an hour and a half’s Saumer: Yeah, the reason we got kicked out That’s it. I can’t dance. worth of practice after not playing a show… LV WKDW WKH SHRSOH ZKR ZHQW WR WKLV EHQH¿W Kat: You should’ve asked her right now to Saumer: For months and months and months were older, wealthy people… clap and sing at the same fucking time. and months and months. Kat: A lot of them liked us but… Joe: Can you clap and sing at the same Kat:&DULVVDZDVRQYDFDWLRQDQGÀHZEDFN Saumer: Who couldn’t quite handle it so up time? from Pittsburgh or something. close, and so loud, because the sound was in 39

“We were part of a package where we got sold with a bouncy castle and a bunch of hot dogs.” an old department store, so it’s just, [makes Saumer: We didn’t have enough songs to Joe: I vaguely know. “loud” hand motions] weird. ¿OOWKHWLPHVRZHMXVWUHSHDWHGRXUVHWWKUHH Saumer: What do you know? Dave: The other act was just a guy with times. [laughing]. And our friends decided to Joe: Something about an Onion A.V. Club a piano. come by and stand outside, because it’s all “Best Of”, or year end list. Saumer: 0DNHV glass. It’s an ice skating rink at times. It’s all Kat: Yeah, they have a bunch of different “quiet” keyboard motions]. glass walls, and it’s really cool. But all of categories and there’s best of, worst of, and Kat: Plus we didn’t show up in time to get our friends are outside, yelling and holding I think we were under the funniest. a sound check in, so it was just fucking up signs. I don’t remember what they said Dave: I think it was “Best worst.” blaringingly loud, and getting asked to turn though. Dylan: We just love it when the name is down and turn down. After we got there, Dave: I don’t either, but it was really funny. printed. the whole PA needed to be rewired. It was a Kat: Apparently, some baseball dudes liked Joe: It was for the “Best Worst Band Names mess. Our guitarist was the one who rewired us though. of ‘06”, under “Simply Funny.” and set up everything, and he was not in a Joe: Were you ever noticed by The Onion? Kat: We’ll take it! good mood. He then got yelled at to turn it Kat: Yes. down a little bit, and then got screamed at. Joe: So did you get an award from The Onion He just went off. And then all of us went off. A.V. Club? And then I hit the free line bar. [Laughs] Dylan: It was “Best Terrible Band Name.” Saumer: The boss of her old roommate felt Saumer: No, no. It was talking about bad. She got us to do the Twins thing. something bad, and it referenced us, but Kat: I think a lot of people were like, “What it wasn’t part of it… Joe, do you know the the fuck happened?” answer to this? 41 79,WKDGEHHQUHWRROHGDVDMLQJOHIRUDURRWEHHU³6LSSLQ¶0\ Hires All Day.” n what follows, I’m not saying in any way, shape, or form 2WLVDQG,EULHÀ\FURVVHGSDWKVDJDLQLQZKHQ,IHOWDPRUH Ithat Otis Redding was a punk. He wasn’t a punk archetype WKDQSDVVLQJDI¿QLW\IRU-RQ&U\HU¶VFKDUDFWHU'XFNLHLQPretty in for Bad Brains, a missing link, anything of the sort, but Pink. In one scene, Duckie busted into the record store that Andie, he’s a wellspring of fantastic music. I think he’s a great musician; SOD\HGE\0ROO\5LQJZDOGZDVZRUNLQJLQDQGSXWKLVZKROHERG\ one that—in the very system of major labels now—can’t and into lip-synching along to “Try a Little Tenderness.” Although the won’t be replicated. He was as much a man as a time (the late red-haired girl was unimpressed by Duckie’s performance, I was µVWRODWHµV DQGDSODFH WKH6RXWKSUH0DUWLQ/XWKHU.LQJ intrigued. But, instead of looking further into Otis, I bought the Jr. assassination). soundtrack to the movie. The title song by the Psychedelic Furs had Inauspiciously enough, the first time that the music I was grabbed my attention more. hearing was attached to the name Otis Redding, I was sitting I’m sure that I heard more Otis songs over the years, but on the linoleum floor of a Pic’n’Save. I remember playing with never meaningfully, never in context. It wasn’t until 1997 that some multi-colored army men that had previously been pulled my obsession began in earnest. It was piqued by one song: out of their wrappers. I was nine. I remembered the seagull “Doublewhiskeycokenoice.” Dillinger Four, I’ll fully admit, are sounds at the beginning of a song while really wanting a gun responsible for a big batch of my life decisions, especially concerning that sparked at the barrel when I repeatedly pulled the trigger. music. (If you think this is an overstatement, I consider D4 as a A couple years later, I remembered the same song playing on cornerstone band to Razorcake. If they didn’t exist, we wouldn’t exist in our current form.) When Erik’s higher-pitched voice proclaimed, town with a population of a little more than 160,000 in 1950, there “God save Otis Redding because I know he’s never gone,” I got was a much larger chance for an aspiring musician than meets the down to tracking down some Otis records. Years later, I put together eye. It was a place with a deep musical well, where many before that the sound bite to the beginning of the song—the “Hi, this is the KLPKDGGUXQNGHHSRILWVZDWHUV0XVLFVHHPHGWREXEEOHXSIURP Big O. I was just standing here thinking about you, thought I’d write the ground. In the 1840s, a man by the name of Alabama Vest a song about you, and dedicate it to you. Take a listen”—was taken invented the kazoo there. from an Otis Redding song called “Stay in School.” During tenth grade, Otis, Jr., spurred on by a mixture of his 0XVLFDOREVHVVLRQVFDQVWDUWZLWKWKHVPDOOHVWJHUPWKHVOLJKWHVW own ambition, his love of music, and the driving obligation to suggestion in a river of diversions. In the intervening years, I’ve learned financially secure his family’s future after his father had contracted to dance marginally better to Otis Redding by paying attention to the tuberculosis and lost his job at the air force base, dropped out of drum beat and moving my butt to it instead of following the guitar school. Otis Sr. still wasn’t impressed. He believed that Otis Jr. or the voice. It was also such a treat to be in my friend Greg Pettix’s had foolhardy, unrealistic dreams and was risking the family’s IRUPHUO\RI7KH:HLUG/RYHPDNHUVDQGFXUUHQWO\LQ7KH&XQWL¿HUV  well-being. “Otis’s the worst child I have,” Otis Sr. lamented. KRXVHVD\LQJ³0DQ,¶YHUHDOO\EHHQJHWWLQJLQWR2WLV5HGGLQJ´DQG “He worries me to death because he ain’t never going to amount seeing Greg pull out an obscure compilation and reply, “Ever hear of the to nothing.” Pinetoppers? No? Then listen to this!” and then everyone in the room Otis Jr., although religious and respectful of his father, was did little spontaneous dances to “Shout Bamalama,” a song that seemed pragmatic in realizing his dreams of becoming a singer. He’d seen MXVWUHFRUGHGDQG¿UHFUDFNHULQJIURPWKHVWHUHRQRWVRPHIRUW\\HDU the blossoms of colossal talent, nurtured with hard labor, bear fruit old relic that had to be considered soberly and handled delicately. And ULJKWLQIURQWRIKLP0DFRQZDVKRPHWR-DPHV%URZQDQG/LWWOH ,¶GEHUHPLVVQRWWRPHQWLRQWKDWP\¿UVWGDQFHDVDPDUULHGGXGHZLWK Richard. Little Richard was experiencing regional success with P\ORYHO\ZLIH0DU\&ODUHZDVWR2WLVVLQJLQJ³7KDW¶V+RZ6WURQJ his band, The Upsetters. He had even grown up in a neighborhood 0\/RYH,V´ close to Otis. They both had attended the same high school. If So, in the spirit of Otis Redding providing me with hundreds /LWWOH5LFKDUGWKHVRQRID0DFRQERRWOHJJHUFRXOGPDNHLWRXW of hours of improved living standards by listening to his music, I of Pleasant Hill and have his song “Long Tall Sally” hit #1 on the present the following: “One Punk’s Guide to Otis Redding,” a short 5 %QDWLRQDOFKDUWVLQ0DUFKRIZK\FRXOGQ¶W2WLV5HGGLQJ biography of the man, his life, and his legacy. Jr. make it out of Bellevue?

,Q WKH VHJUHJDWHG 6RXWK 2WLV FRXOG RQO\ ¿QG SUHGLFWDEO\ PXQGDQH KDUG ODERU MREV WR VXSSRUW KLV PXVLFDO KDELW$W ¿IWHHQ years old, his fate was poised to become that of just another black kid tis Redding, Jr. was born on September 9, 1941 to Otis from the projects: uneducated, poor, and working manual labor for Redding, Sr. and Fannie Roseman Redding, into a family the rest of his life. He began a pattern of bouncing from job to job. Oof six in the small town of Dawson, Georgia. Dawson He roofed houses, cleaned yards, dug wells, delivered groceries, and is situated in Terrell County, a sleepy little farming community, painted fences. One time, he found a job on a construction crew and twenty miles south of Plains, the hometown of Jimmy Carter. The was put to work operating an air hammer, breaking concrete. Around entire local economy revolved around peanuts and cotton. At the lunchtime, Otis quit. He later found work in a junkyard. In between DJHRIWKUHH2WLV¶VIDPLO\PRYHGPLOHVWR0DFRQ*HRUJLDLQ these times, Otis Jr. continued pursuing his singing at nearby white a neighborhood called Bellevue into the Tindall Heights Housing colleges and high schools and disabled veterans’ clubs. 3URMHFW,WZDVFURZGHG0RUHWKDQIRXUKXQGUHGDSDUWPHQWVZHUH In 1957, when they were both sixteen, Otis Redding met Zelma assembled in dense clusters of barracks-style town homes and Atwood. That year, he asked her to marry him. She agreed. In 1958, ÀDWV 'XULQJ WKLV WLPH 2WLV UHFHLYHG QR IRUPDO PXVLF HGXFDWLRQ Otis and Zelma married. They would go on to have three children He learned music by singing with the choir of the Vineville Baptist together: Dexter, Karla, and Otis III. Zelma was a believer in her Church. He later participated in the band at Ballard-Hudson, the husband’s talents: “Otis Redding always believed in Otis Redding. ³6HQLRU+LJK6FKRROIRU1HJUR%R\VDQG*LUOV´LQ0DFRQ,WZDV He’d tell me, ‘Don’t worry, I’m gonna make you happy one day,’ then that it became obvious to Otis Jr. that he wanted to be a singer and I was like, ‘Lord have mercy, we could starve to death!’ That’s in a band. just how positive he was.” Otis’s dad was a Baptist minister who preached on the weekends. During the week, he worked as a maintenance worker at nearby Robins Air Force Base. He didn’t like that his son wanted to become a singer and was blunt in his disapproval. “I’m going to tell n between odd jobs, Otis Redding Jr. did all he could you something, Otis. You won’t ever amount to anything with this to keep his name, face, and voice in front of people singing, this hanging out at nightclubs, not a thing.” To drive the Iinstead of behind a gas pump or in a yard raking leaves. point home, he ended the discussion with, “And I’m going to tell In addition to performing at high school and college frat parties, you something else. Whether you make it or not, I’m never going to Otis got a boost from Hamp Swain, “The King Bee,” a DJ of see you in one of those places. Nightclubs are outside the limit of a black-format radio station, WIBB. In those days, it was still God’s realm.” possible for DJs to choose their own music and Hamp tirelessly Otis responded to his father in a way most kids do when promoted local and state talent. Hamp was not only the first presented with a challenge in the form of a threat: he mostly DJ to ever play James Brown on the air; Little Richard had ignored his father’s warnings. Otis Jr. knew some things his father gotten his start as a vocalist in Hamp’s band, The Hamptones. SUREDEO\ GLGQ¶W SXW ZHLJKW LQ$OWKRXJK 0DFRQ *HRUJLD ZDV D Hamp also hosted Hamp Swain’s Teenage Party, a live music 43 competition every Saturday morning at the Douglass Theatre. In July, 1960, Otis moved out to Los Angeles in an attempt to Otis Jr. took on all comers. further his career. That year, he recorded “She’s All Right” and Somewhat predictably, early remembrances of Otis’s singing, “Tuff Enuff,” under the name Otis And The Shooters, for Trans before he had developed his own style, were that he sounded like World Records. The response was, at best, mild. Undaunted, Otis a mix between Little Richard and a heritage of gospel music. But UHWXUQHGEDFNWR0DFRQDQGWKHVDPH\HDUFXWDQRWKHUWKLVWLPH that didn’t detract from Otis’s charm, talent, and ability to perform, with Johnny Jenkins And The Pinetoppers—“Shout Bamalama” and DVHYLGHQFHGE\WDNLQJKRPHWKH¿YHGROODUSUL]H¿IWHHQWLPHVLQD ³)DW*DO´²IRUWKH&RQIHGHUDWHODEHO FXULRXVO\ZLWKD5HEHOÀDJ row. He was then asked to refrain from further competition to give as its logo in the middle of the record’s label). The response, again, someone else a chance to win. As Otis Jr.’s local star was starting to was mild. People seemed to like Otis’s voice, but he was still largely rise, he dropped the “Jr.” from his performing name. dismissed as a vocalist who loved Little Richard a wee bit too much From his exposure at Hamp Swain’s Teenage Party, Otis met to be taken seriously as little more than an impersonator. two people who would change his life: local guitar hero Johnny -RKQQ\ -HQNLQV ZHQW WR 0HPSKLV LQ 2FWREHU  WR UHFRUG Jenkins and promoter Phil Walden. Phil was already Johnny’s at the then newly established Stax studios. Stax had been started manager and wanted to be Otis’s. All three would become lifelong E\DEURWKHUDQGVLVWHU7ZHQW\¿YH\HDUROG-LP6WHZDUWZRUNHG friends. It’s believed that Otis had crossed paths when Phil Walden DW )LUVW7HQQHVVHH %DQN DQG SOD\HG ¿GGOH LQ D FRXQWU\ EDQG +H was president of his high school fraternity. By the age of eighteen, had leased out a recording studio in an old movie theater and had Phil was managing several R&B groups, many of whom were initially planned on recording country and western music. Estelle black, and arranged bookings at white colleges and clubs, so the Axton, Jim’s sister and co-owner, was instrumental in its day-to- bands could make more money. To make ends meets, Phil also day operations and ran the attached record store. (The name, “Stax,” worked as a part-time clerk in a men’s clothing store while he FDPHDERXWZKHQWKH¿UVWSDUWVRIWKHWZRRZQHUV¶ODVWQDPHVZHUH DWWHQGHG0HUFHU8QLYHUVLW\ smooshed together.) Phil’s standards were high because he knew what great music looked and sounded like. Otis’s powerful voice was reminiscent of Little Richard, who Walden had seen surreptitiously when he was in the ninth grade. Phil had been on the way to watch a swim meet at tis was both the lead singer and the driver of the group’s WKH<0&$ZKHQKHQRWLFHGDFURZGJDWKHULQJDFURVVWKHVWUHHWIRU rented station wagon. Johnny Jenkins didn’t have a DQ$PRV0LOEXUQFRQFHUWDWWKHFLW\DXGLWRULXP+HERXJKWDWLFNHW Odriver’s license, didn’t like to drive, and refused to and made his way to the upper balcony where whites were allowed À\-RKQQ\QHYHUOHIWWKH6RXWKHDVWGXULQJKLVHQWLUHOLIHWLPH7KH to sit. He was swept away by the opening act, Little Richard. “He recording session was supposed to showcase Johnny’s original just destroyed me…. He had this microphone between his legs and guitar-heavy compositions, but they weren’t going well. According he would pound the piano. He would wave to all the gay guys, all his to Johnny, it was a disaster. With some time left at the end of the ‘sisters’ in the audience… I had never been exposed to something pre-paid three-hour session, Otis was given the opportunity to cut that raw in my life.” WZRRIKLVRZQVRQJV³7KHVH$UPVRI0LQH´²ZKDWFRXOGEHFDOOHG Phil Walden was hearing something new emerge from Otis— a country soul ballad with its determined pleading and earthy tone— something that was beyond a mere mimicking of previous singers. and “Hey Hey Baby,” which sounded like a new Little Richard tune Through his connections, he was instrumental in Otis joining The and was chosen to be the side to promote to local radio. Stax’s Upsetters, Little Richard’s road band. In July, 1960 Otis’s voice thinking was that since, in 1962, Little Richard had renounced ZDV ¿UVW UHFRUGHG WR YLQ\O DOEHLW LQ D VXSSRUWLQJ YRFDOLVW UROH recording and performing secular music, had become a born-again Between quick regional tours, Otis still had bills to pay. He never Christian, and was attending bible college, his throne was vacant. forgot, abandoned, or took Zelma for granted. To pull his own Otis’s two cuts would eventually be released on Volt Records, ¿QDQFLDOZHLJKWKHSHULRGLFDOO\KDGWRVZDOORZKLVSULGHUHLJQLQ a subsidiary of Stax. (Stewart was still thinking that Stax’s main his ambition, and took manual labor jobs to help support his family focus as a label would be country and western music.) “These Arms with money he couldn’t make strictly as an entertainer. Zelma RI0LQH´ZDVOLEHUDWLQJIRU2WLV,WHQDEOHGKLPWR¿QDOO\VHHNRXW ZRUNHGDVDZDLWUHVVLQDEDUEHFXHUHVWDXUDQWHDUQLQJWKLUW\¿YH his own personal vision as a singer and made him realize that real dollars a week. success wasn’t going to come his way imitating someone else, but doing and developing his own thing. Everyone close to Otis seemed to notice the change. “The thing that brought out a different style in him was when he came up with that song,” said Johnny Jenkins. “That took him away from Little ithin months of joining the Upsetters, eighteen-year- Richard. He had that Georgia gospel sound. He didn’t just say, ‘I love ROG2WLVTXLWDQGMRLQHGDQRWKHU0DFRQEDVHGEDQG ya; I care about you,’ like the average person would say and then be WHe became the lead singer of confusingly named Pat through with it. He’d keep repeating the same thing over and over 7HD&DNH$QG7KH0LJKW\3DQWKHUVZLWKJXLWDULVW-RKQQ\-HQNLQV and over until it got you.” Zelma recognized the change, too. “Otis Johnny was the second instrumental person whom he’d met at Hamp Redding couldn’t be anything but Otis Redding…. His idol was Little Swain’s Teenage Party. After a short time, the band’s name changed Richard, but after he got in with Stax, Otis said, ‘I can be me now.’” to Johnny Jenkins And The Pinetoppers Featuring Otis Redding And From that day on, Otis worked his hardest at not having another The Shooters. job besides being Otis Redding. Johnny Jenkins—known locally as “Guitar”—was a force in and ³7KHVH$UPV RI 0LQH´ EHFDPH 2WLV¶V ¿UVW QDWLRQDOO\ FKDUWHG of himself. Whenever they played frat houses, he whipped white single and it forecasted the style of much of the music that Otis kids into frenzies; gyrating and bending notes. His performance was would continue to make. “Basically,” Otis said, “I like any music so far removed from Pat Boone, Paul Anka, or even Elvis Presley, that remains simple and I feel this is the formula that has made that it must have seemed like a sexed-up alien had dropped down soul music successful. When any music form becomes cluttered or from another planet and was guitar-blasting their bodies with six complicated, you lose the average listener’s ear. There’s nothing string assaults of unholy rock’n’roll. more beautiful than a simple blues tune. There’s beauty in simplicity, 8QVXVSHFWLQJZKLWHNLGVZHUHQ¶WWKHRQO\RQHVÀRRUHGE\-RKQQ\ whether you’re talking about architecture, art, or music.” 2QDYLVLWWRKLVDXQWLQ0DFRQD\RXQJ-LPL+HQGUL[VRDNHGLQWKH 2QWKHVWUHQJWKRI³7KHVH$UPVRI0LQH´2WLVZHQWEDFNLQWR ÀDPER\DQFHRI-HQNLQV¶VOHIWKDQGHGXSVLGHGRZQJXLWDUSOD\LQJ the studio for Volt a second time and recorded his worst-selling and acrobatic showmanship—like when Johnny played the guitar VLQJOH ³7KDW¶V :KDW 0\ +HDUW 1HHGV´ EDFNHG ZLWK ³0DU\ +DG behind his head. It made a deep, lifelong impression on Jimi, who a Little Lamb.” Instead of immediately letting Otis go for a poor- one of the Pinetoppers remembered as the “little guy who would selling single, Stax owner Jim Stewart recognized Otis’s “verve, follow us around a lot.” vitality, and excitement” and agreed to cut four more singles in rapid 44

succession. All of these singles were quickly collected and released hatred. While Otis Redding didn’t openly speak about racism very as the twelve-song LP Pain in My Heart. often, his guiding philosophy was as simple and direct as his music. What a group of songs. What a debut record. It showcased Otis’s ³0\SULGHFRPHVIURPP\VRXOZKDW,DPDQGZKDW,GRQRWIURP distinctive new style. While still retaining Little Richard’s band’s up- what some ignorant drunk does or doesn’t think about me.” tempo attack and tone, he coupled that runaway freight train to soul VLQJHU6DP&RRNH¶VFRROVPRRWKFRQ¿GHQWSKUDVLQJ6DP&RRNH¶V musical legacy was another recently developed void Otis wanted WR¿OO/DWHLQ6DP&RRNHKDGEHHQNLOOHGZHDULQJQRWKLQJ but a shoe and a sports coat, in a suspicious shooting involving the nother unique aspect of the early recordings at Stax manager of a seedy motel in Los Angeles. was that it had the capability to record only one track Otis was able to take the best qualities of both of his heroes. Aat a time. Everything was recorded simultaneously and His voice was, at times, a plaintive, honeyed gospel tenor. At other there was no possibility of mixing in a tape of another performance times, it was the rawness of man about to tear out from the grooves with live studio sessions or dubbing in some effects. “If somebody of the record and shake the listener directly. The glue that held it all screwed up,” drummer Al Jackson remembered, “everybody had to together was Otis’s want. When Otis sung about wanting something start all over again. We cut songs in total.” On the converse, “When (anything, really, from love to some horns “right now!”), he got that the good stuff was done, it was done quick.” idea and feeling across. The magic was that anyone listening to the The cost of the magnetic tape that the songs were recorded on song would feel it and would want it, too. was a consideration. Out of necessity, the bathrooms were often used “When he’d get to singing,” Johnny Jenkins recollected, “he’d as the echo chambers. For musicians keen on keeping food in their just put his whole heart into it; he didn’t just sing to be singing a song. stomachs, the result of these factors was to favor well-rehearsed, That’s the reason he couldn’t lip-sync to his songs later on when he shorter songs. (“A Change Is Gonna Come,” the longest song that was on television. You can rehearse a song over and over until you can Otis ever made clocked in at just over four minutes.) Steve Cropper stand up there and sing it in your sleep. But when you sing it from the assured that the musical considerations concerning brevity weren’t heart, it’s always going to be different each time you sing it. SXUHO\ ¿QDQFLDO WKRXJK LW ZDV DOVR DHVWKHWLF ³)ODVK GRQ¶W PDNH

FDVK«,¿QGDKROHDQGOHDYHDKROHRUWZRLQWKHSURFHVV´ In 1965, Otis cut material for two full-length records: The Great tax was an oasis; a melting pot in the heart of the South at Otis Redding Sings Soul Ballads and Otis Blue. Otis’s signature the height of segregation and deep racial tension. It was was becoming a raw, rougher spontaneous style that bore a stark Ssaid that as soon as anyone walked through the doors— FRQWUDVW WR WKH VPRRWK VRSKLVWLFDWHG PXVLFRI 0RWRZQ 2WLVZDV even if you were green or purple—all that mattered was how well ZHOO DZDUH RI WKH GLIIHUHQFH²ERWK VW\OLVWLFDOO\ DQG ¿QDQFLDOO\ you played. The core studio musicians—often called the Stax house ³0RWRZQKDVDORWRIRYHUGXEELQJ´2WLVVDLG³,W¶VPHFKDQLFDOO\ band—comprised organist/pianist Booker T. Jones, guitarist Steve done. At Stax the rule is: whatever you feel, play it.” Otis sung Cropper, bassist Donald “Duck” Dunn, and drummer Al Jackson Jr. with an aching vulnerability that would later become realized as his They were responsible for writing and playing over seventy percent trademark. (Although Otis would record a duet album with Carla RIDOO6WD[UHFRUGV7KLVKDOIEODFNKDOIZKLWHJURXS²RQHRIWKH¿UVW Thomas, only two of his recordings ever featured a backup singer racially integrated bands in American popular music history—when providing harmony.) With these two records, Redding’s Southern, they recorded by themselves, were known as Booker T. And The Georgian country sensibilities and powerful, husky tenor earned 0*¶V VWDQGLQJIRU0HPSKLV*URXS 6WD[VWXGLRVDOVRHPSOR\HGD him recognition as one of the most authentic, soulful singers in a VH[WHWRIPHQFROOHFWLYHO\FDOOHG7KH0HPSKLV+RUQVZKR¿OOHGRXW PDUNHW GRPLQDWHG E\ SROLVKHG 0RWRZQ YRFDOLVWV %HLQJ VR 2WLV the distinctive sound. Each man of this extensive group would later FRXOGQ¶W EHJLQ WR FRPSHWH FRPPHUFLDOO\ ZLWK WKH 0RWRZQ DUWLVWV be known as a quintessential musician on his respective instrument. who were regularly crossing over into the lucrative white market Let’s take a moment to put this into context. Rock’n’roll—to ZLWKSRSKLWV,QDVLQJOHKLWE\D0RWRZQJURXSFRXOGVHOO WKHHVWDEOLVKHGRUGHU²ZKHQLWZDV¿UVWXVKHUHGLQE\WKHOLNHVRI a million copies. All of Otis’s singles released from the beginning of Little Richard in the 1950s, was the musical equivalent of a slave his career through 1965, combined, sold 800,000 copies. Otis’s total revolt. Blacks weren’t supposed to be heard or seen. But to proclaim album sales had yet to hit the 100,000 mark. not only one’s refusal to be quiet, but to “shake it! shake it! shake Otis could have adapted his singing to a less rugged, more it!” could get a musician seriously hurt physically, mentally, and UH¿QHGVW\OHWRWU\WRUHDFKWKHZLGHUZKLWHDXGLHQFHWKDW²LQ ¿QDQFLDOO\$QGDOWKRXJK/LWWOH5LFKDUGZDVFRQYLQFHGWRFKDQJHWKH anyway—was not widely aware of or receptive to the raw simplicity initial lyrics of “tutti-frutti, loose booty” to “tutti frutti, aw rooty,” of rhythm and blues. Otis wanted to reach that audience but he KLV ÀDPER\DQFH DQG YHUYH KDG SURYLGHG RQH RI WKH LQLWLDO ULSV didn’t want to change his style. To Stax’s credit, they let Otis be the ushering in an undeniable, fundamental change in American culture. best Otis he could be. Jim Stewart continuously encouraged Otis’s Rock’n’roll and soul music became the not-so-coded messages originality. “His music was so raw and so earthy; without being trite, for a generation of kids rebelling against what the conservative, it was right from the soul. I’d never really worked with a singer who Eisenhower-era mainstream was offering them. In a country actively could reach down so deep and bring out that warmth and feeling.” practicing segregation and limiting nonwhite people’s access to basic Very few, if any, aspects of the band, music, or record art were services, these types of music became the tangible bridge between sweetened up to appeal directly to white audiences. In addition to new generations of black and white kids. Plus, it was just fun as Otis’s raw voice, Al Jackson hard-socked his snare drum and wasn’t hell. There was energy and excitement. It was juicy, sexy stuff. This relegated to the back of the mix as distant papping. In the early ‘60s, wasn’t holding hands in grade school. It was the back seat of a car on soul albums shied away from featuring a photograph of the singer a high school Friday night without parental supervision. on either the front or back sleeve. The prevailing wisdom was that During the preceding decades, athletes such as Jackie Robinson the portrait of a black man might deter potential white American and jazz musicians such as Louis Armstrong had all accomplished buyers from purchasing the record. The Great Otis Redding Sings WKH WKHQ XQWKLQNDEOH 7KH\ KDG LQVSLUHG ZKLWH SHRSOH WR ¿QDOO\ Soul Ballads features twenty-four identical pictures of a dapper, appreciate black culture and put aside some of their racism and smiling Otis on the cover. By following his own path and respecting 47 the musicians around him, Redding’s simple, earnest ballads and how to move in those days. He was inept on stage. Yet in spite of sparse, horn-punctuated tracks came to be considered prototypes of his inertia, the women at the Apollo loved him, not only for his WKH0HPSKLVVRXQG,WZDVPXVLFWKDWZDVIXQN\DQGVRXOIXODQG looks—he was tall, strapping, and handsome—but for his voice and sweaty and unmistakably Southern, and Otis was widely becoming vulnerability as well. Otis had chops like a wolf; his voice was big known as its undisputed king. DQGJRUJHRXVDQG¿OOHGZLWKIHHOLQJ´ The recording of Otis Blue was a remarkable achievement. All ³0DQ\RXEHWWHUEHOLHYHKHZDVSK\VLFDO´VDLG:D\QH-DFNVRQ but one of the tracks was recorded within twenty-four hours, in the Stax trumpet player. “Otis had to have two cans of Right Guard two lightning sessions on July 9, 1965 and in the early morning of to keep him down. The man was physical. Emotional and physical. the tenth. Yet there is no haste, no slop, nor looseness to the songs. He loved the horns. He would run from his vocal mic down to where They are tight, true, expert, and alive; songs that were the result WKHKRUQVZHUHDQGKH¶GVKDNHKLV¿VWDW\RXDQGEHVLQJLQJWKRVH of tireless touring and whip-smart musicianship converging in a parts. It was just electrifying. He’d get right in front of you until controlled storm. you were just foaming at the mouth. He’d just have you so excited.” Otis Blue featured Otis’s original song “I’ve Been Loving You Don’t think for a second that Otis was a pushover or didn’t apply Too Long,” which was his biggest hit while he was alive. It reached himself wholly to the tasks at hand. He was a man who knew his #2 on the R&B (black) charts and #21 on the U.S. pop (white) limitations and strengths. He took his performances very seriously. charts. (In 1963, due to the crossover success of many black artists, He only missed one show during his entire career and he never Billboard suspended the R&B charts (previously delineated until VWRSSHGDVRQJQRPDWWHUWKHWHFKQLFDOGLI¿FXOW\ 1949 as the Best Selling Retail Race Records) integrating them At a show in North Carolina, a man out in the crowd became into the pop charts. It only lasted fourteen months until they were jealous of the effect Otis was having on his wife. The jealous man reintroduced, but it also explains why many of Otis’s early songs decided he couldn’t take it anymore and stormed up to the stage. Otis didn’t chart as R&B singles.) was defenseless, down on his knees, eyes closed, singing “These Otis Blue included several minor hits as well: a version of Sam $UPVRI0LQH´7KHPDQUXVKHGRQVWDJHDQGVXFNHUSXQFKHG2WLVLQ Cooke’s “Shake” and an original, “Respect,” which was later covered the face. Although it was a hard shot, Otis didn’t fall. He continued

and given a wider audience by Aretha Franklin. Despite his strong VLQJLQJXQWLOWKHQDWXUDOFORVXUHRIWKHVRQJ:KHQKH¿QLVKHG2WLV following with soul listeners, however, Otis remained a largely stood up off his knees and calmly placed his microphone down. PDUJLQDO¿JXUHLQWKHSRSPDLQVWUHDPDQG$PHULFD¶VFRQVFLRXVQHVV He then coolly sauntered offstage. As soon as he was out of the He wanted that to change. glare of the lights, he rushed after the man, quickly catching up to The success of Otis Blue also propelled Stax Records as a new him. A cop working security at the show cordoned off other people force in R&B music. Up until the spring of 1965, the label had from getting involved, yelling, “Hit him, Otis! Hit him! I don’t see remained a relatively minor, regional player in the music business. a thing! Hit him, Otis!” After the man’s karmic debt was repaid Of the hundred-odd singles released by Stax/Volt—Otis recorded for misinterpreting Otis’s intentions, Otis got back up on stage and for Volt Records for his entire career and cut eighteen singles with launched into his next song. them—only eight had entered the R&B Top Ten. The instrumental ³*UHHQ 2QLRQV´ E\ %RRNHU 7  7KH 0*¶V ZDV WKHLU RQO\ VRQJ that had topped the charts at #1. Jim Stewart hadn’t had enough FRQ¿GHQFHLQ6WD[¶VVKDN\H[LVWHQFHWRTXLWKLVGD\MREDWWKHEDQN et’s take another step back. In the ‘50s and ‘60s, a vast XQWLO2WLV¶V³0U3LWLIXO´KLWRQWKH5 %FKDUWV majority of record industry—managers, record company Lbosses, and publishing houses—would rip off anyone of race, creed, color, or either gender if they could. (Keep in mind that very little has changed since then.) Ninety-nine percent of recording o support his records, Otis toured relentlessly. What may artists don’t have the wherewithal to be musicians and be business- surprise many is that he didn’t move around the stage all savvy enough to protect themselves at the same time. African Tthat much. The pressure was all inside, being released Americans had the extra indignity of seeing their work watered EUHDWKE\EUHDWK2WLVXVHGKLVHQWLUHERG\WRVLQJDVRQJ0DJPD down in white conversions and sold in great quantities to the mass as opposed to lava. Otis, as Isaac Hayes noted, was “a statue of white audience, enriching many people except the originators. It is a man,” over six feet tall, thickly built. He was a big guy, “The only in very rare instances that black artists were treated fairly by Big O”; intense in his delivery, putting all of the attention in his their labels. voice. Johnny Jenkins noted that Otis couldn’t dance to save his life. %HFDXVH 2WLV GLGQ¶W ZDQW WR ORVH ¿QDQFLDO FRQWURO RI ZKDW “When he could do the steps, he couldn’t sing. And when he sang, he created and to avoid as many of these music industry traps as KHFRXOGQ¶WGRWKHVWHSV7KDW¶VZK\LI\RXVHHKLPRQ¿OP\RX¶OO SRVVLEOHKHGLG¿YHWKLQJVDOPRVWIURPWKHYHU\EHJLQQLQJ VHHKLPVWDQGLQJULJKWLQRQHVSRW6ZHDWLQJ0RYLQJWKHWUXQNRI First, Otis hired a manager whom he trusted, Phil Walden (and his body. That foot standing still.” Alan Walden, when Phil was drafted to serve in the Vietnam War). Otis had no real stage act, no gimmicks, no props, and no Phil and Otis stayed together throughout Otis’s career. KLVWULRQLFV +H GLGQ¶W VZLYHO KLV KLSV RU VWDJJHU WR WKH ÀRRU DQG Second, not only did Otis establish control of his own publishing, moan like James Brown. He couldn’t throw himself around the he actively kept and protected it. In a joint effort with the Walden stage like his contemporaries Sam and Dave. He simply stood at brothers, they formed two music publishing companies: Redwal the microphone and sang, arms outstretched or emphasizing lyrics and Walco. Otis was the president of RedWal a music publishing by bending at the waist, swaying his hips. “You could feel this plea house, which, by 1965, became the largest local music publisher coming from him,” Atlantic’s Jerry Wexler said. “He didn’t know in the South. He was very active in the company’s operation and 48 directly responsible for the company’s leadership in the music with bones that somebody brought,” Jackson remembered, “and the SXEOLVKLQJ¿HOG PXVFOHDQGVLQHZDQGÀHVKDQGVNLQZRXOGEHSXWRQLWZKLOHZH Blah, blah, blah. Business. But since Otis wrote many of his own were standing there and the monster would rise and live! Somehow.” songs—which was unusual for a singer at the time—he made sure Critics were astounded that this musically untrained backwoods KHNHSW¿QDQFLDOFRQWURORIWKHVRQJVKHZURWH:KDWWKDWPHDQVLV NLGV IURP 0DFRQ FRXOG FRPH XS ZLWK VRQJV WKDW ZHUH VWULNLQJO\ that he was set up to receive royalty payments for his own songs, original—from the sophisticated use of horns to the subtle tempo not only when he performed and recorded them, but when someone changes. Yet the formula was—and is—really simple: Otis playing else did. When Aretha Franklin went on to cover “Respect,” Otis, a guitar line, humming a melody, beating out the rhythm with his through Walco—not some middleman who had wiggled into the feet. It’s how some of the best, gutsy, honest, strongest music ever picture with a small advance or an abusive contract—got paid. recorded has been made. Third, Otis kept as much of the making of his music as close Otis’s songs were beautiful in their simplicity. Never mistake as he could, under his own terms and timetables. He formed a simplicity for stupidity or ignorance. Bob Dylan showed up the production company, Jotis Records (along with Joe Galkin, the man opening evening of Otis’s stint at the Whiskey in Los Angeles. who had initially paid for Johnny Jenkins’ failed session at Stax), He made his way backstage with an acetate of a new song called that released other artists that Otis considered promising. Jotis “Just Like a Woman” and gave it to Otis. He asked Otis if he’d be Record’s second release was Arthur Conley’s single “Sweet Soul interested in recording it. When Otis listened to it, his response was, 0XVLF´,WZDVWKHPRVWSRSXODUVRQJ2WLVZDVLQYROYHG “I like it but it’s got too many fuckin’ words. All these pigtails and with during his lifetime, selling over one million bobbytails and all that stuff.” copies. Arthur thanked his mentor directly in the middle of his hit song, too: “Spotlight on Otis Redding now/ Singing fa fa fa fa...” Otis knew that soul music took root in a live setting. To assure the quality of his live shows, if Otis performed locally, he would always use the same stable of musicians. He wouldn’t use pick-ups local to that area. During the entire length of his career, if Otis played within GULYLQJ GLVWDQFH RI 0DFRQ -RKQQ\ Jenkins would play guitar. Johnny didn’t OLNHWRÀ\,I2WLVSOD\HGIXUWKHUDZD\ he took the Bar-Kays, a revolving band of rigorously considered 0DFRQPXVLFLDQV Fourth, Otis began nurturing other new, promising, and emerging artists beyond the release of their records. Otis Redding Enterprises did nothing but manage and promote the promising new artists they discovered and served as a center for the discovery, mentoring, and development of ORFDO0DFRQWDOHQW Fifth, today, we’d call it market research and focus groups. To Otis, it was a simple equation. He knew very well how to sell a piece of vinyl: “Get the women turned on to a song and they’ll send the men out to buy the record.”

966, following the pace of 1965, saw the release of two more complete, stellar Otis albums: The Soul Album and 1Complete & Unbelievable: The Otis Redding Dictionary of Soul. What’s more remarkable than, “Whoa, that dude wrote a lot of shit in a short time,” is that how great almost all of it is. Keep in mind that Otis had no formal musical training. He was instinctive. “Otis didn’t know any music outside of what he could hum you,” Wayne Jackson, the Stax trumpet player remembered. “He would really just thump the guitar and sing his words and hum the horn lines and pat out the drum thing.” What’s compelling throughout Otis’s entire catalog is how LQVWLQFWXDO ÀXLG DQG KHDUWFRUUHFW DOO RI WKH VRQJV VRXQG $VD listener, you can hear a heart beat, a man feel, and blood pulse inside of a song all at the same time. And it wasn’t just Otis operating all by himself in a void. It was who he surrounded himself with. 0DQ\RIKLVVRQJVZHUHFRZULWWHQULJKWLQWKHVWXGLR³,WZRXOGVWDUW

and construction was scheduled for an airstrip so he could land his twin-engine Beechcraft at the ranch. ,Q  2WLV JRW DQ LQYLWDWLRQ WR SOD\ WKH 0RQWHUH\ lthough still largely unknown outside of the American International Pop Festival in Northern California. It was a three- South, almost as soon as his initial recordings for Stax day affair, featuring some of the biggest acts of the time: Simon & ARecords became available to avid R&B fans in Europe, Garfunkel, The Byrds, The Who, The Animals, Jefferson Airplane, 2WLV 5HGGLQJ EHFDPH D SULPH LQÀXHQFH IRU JURXSV OLNH %ULWDLQ¶V Big Brother And The Holding Company with Janis Joplin, and Jimi Rolling Stones. Steeled by London’s Melody Maker 0DJD]LQH Hendrix. The festival didn’t pay, but it was the offer that Otis had DZDUGLQJ2WLVWKHWLWOHRI³,QWHUQDWLRQDO0DOH9RFDOLVWRIWKHThe Beatles sent a limo to pick Otis Redding up. and in the fog. Being virtually unknown on the West Coast at the The tour was very successful in every way possible, both for Stax EHJLQQLQJRIKLVVHWKH¿QDOO\PDGHWKHQDWLRQDOVSODVKWKH\¶GDOO and for Otis Redding. It was gangbusters. been working towards by the end. On the coattails of that success, It’s typical that at this part of the story of a musician’s ascendancy several weeks later, he was back in San Francisco for sold-out that their vices and shortcomings start exacting their tolls. VH-1’s shows at The Fillmore West.

Behind the Music has made an entire industry from the structure of this musical tale. Sex and drugs. Glamorous overspending. Bad decisions RQDJUDQGVFDOH,Q¿GHOLW\$OLHQDWLRQIURPDQGDPQHVLDWRZDUGVWKH little people who had helped the musician through the lean years. It’s t was a weekend of gigs. Otis and The Bar-Kays, the band he reassuring to know that Otis wasn’t a douche nozzle when he got a WUDYHOHGZLWKZKHQ7KH0*¶VFRXOGQ¶WPDNHWKHWULSZHUH large taste of fame, even if it wasn’t in his native country. IÀ\LQJ RYHU WKH 0LGZHVW 2WLV KDG UHFHQWO\ GLVFRYHUHG WKH “When he came back home, it wasn’t ‘I’m different, I’m a star.’ %DU.D\V LQ 0DFRQ ³$IWHU RXU VKRZ KH UDQ EDFNVWDJH DQG VDLG He didn’t live that ego,” Otis’s wife, Zelma remembered. “He was ‘Y’all bad!’” recalled trumpeter Ben Cauley. “He asked about us just a down-to-earth, genuine, loving person. He had to see his doing some gigs. And we said, ‘We’re still in high school, so we friends and he had to visit the community where he grew up, because can’t go on weekdays.’ He said, ‘I’ll take care of that. I’ll pick you he had so much love for those people.” Otis and Zelma would go on up in my plane on Fridays.’” to co-write “I’ve Got Dreams to Remember” together. 7KHZHDWKHULQ0DGLVRQ:LVFRQVLQZDVIDUIURPRSWLPXP,W In April of 1967, Otis answered James Brown’s call by joining was very cold, rainy, and foggy. Otis Redding had kept a promise in on an initiative to integrate schools in the South. He worked WRKLPVHOI(YHUVLQFHKLV¿UVWJLJKHKDGQHYHUFDQFHOHGRQHVKRZ very closely with Vice President Hubert Humphrey and Senator They were booked at The Factory, a white rock club. Otis had two %DNHU IURP 7HQQHVVHH RQ D VWD\LQVFKRRO SURMHFW 0DQ\ 6WD[ VKRZVWRSOD\WKH¿UVWEHJLQQLQJDW307KHRSHQLQJDFWZDVD artists recorded a series of tracks designed to encourage black band from Rockford, Illinois called the Grim Reapers. They would children to take their education as far as possible. Otis’s cut, “Stay later change their name a decade later and become Cheap Trick. LQ 6FKRRO´ KDG WKH KLJKHVW SUR¿OH DQG ZDV WKH PRVW VXFFHVVIXO Otis was in the co-pilot’s seat of his plane. Also in the plane were “But did you ever think about how square you look standing/ IRXURIWKH¿YH%DU.D\V -DPHV$OH[DQGHUZDVÀ\LQJRQDQRWKHU in an employment line because school didn’t interest you.” For a plane.) The oldest Bar-Kay was nineteen, the youngest seventeen. man who had dropped out of school in tenth grade, Otis was wise They were about four miles south of the airport, above Squaw Bay, enough to realize that not everyone else would have his graced and asked for clearance to land. Conditions were poor. According to opportunity or the privilege of his musical talent. an FAA spokesman, the plane was making its second attempt to land But it wasn’t always about the kids or music. Every year around at the airport when it crashed. &KULVWPDV 2WLV ZRXOG ¿OO XS KLV WUXQN ZLWK KDOISLQW ERWWOHV RI $W30%HQ&DXOH\ZDVDVOHHSLQWKHEDFNVHDWZKHQKH Scotch, drive over to Bellevue, park at a curb, pop open the back of was awakened by a jolt. It felt as if the plane had hit a bump in the his car, and people would line up to pick up a bottle of Scotch and road. It began shaking and Ben suddenly felt a tremendous sensation catch up on old times. of falling. One engine was grunting and growling. The other was With his money, Otis bought a sprawling ranch outside of dead altogether. At that moment, Bernard Reese was standing out in 0DFRQ+HEXLOWDKRXVHRQWKHSURSHUW\IRUKLVSDUHQWV,QVLGHWKH IURQWRIKLVKRXVHWKDWVDWRQWKHVKRUHRI/DNH0RQRQDMXVWRXWVLGH PDLQKRXVHKHPDGHDIXOOÀHGJHGUHFRUGLQJVWXGLRWKDWKRXVHG%LJ 0DGLVRQ+HKDGKHDUGWKHVSXWWHULQJSODQHRYHUKHDGDQGORRNHGXS O Enterprises. He contracted the construction of the largest privately LQWLPHWRVHHLWÀDVKWKURXJKWKHORZFORXGV,WKLWWKHZDWHUZLWK owned swimming pool in the state of Georgia. It was in the shape of a loud thud. About a half mile off the southeastern shore and three a big “O.” Otis purchased a Beechcraft airplane for $200,000. It’s miles from the airport, the plane broke apart upon impact and began QRWDVRVWHQWDWLRXVDVLW¿UVWVRXQGV H[FHSWWKHIDFWWKDWKLVQDPH to sink. was painted on the side). It was, largely, a pragmatic decision. It Ben Cauley recalled that upon waking, he saw band mate Phalon JDYH2WLVPXFKPRUHÀH[LELOLW\WRVHWKLVRZQVKRZVFKHGXOHVFRYHU Jones look out a window and say, “Oh, no!” Cauley then unbuckled much more ground in a short time, stay with his family as much as KLV VHDW EHOW DQG WKDW ZDV KLV ¿QDO UHFROOHFWLRQ EHIRUH WKH SODQH possible, and make his own travel arrangements. Plans were drawn went down. Ben was thrown from the cabin, instinctively grasping 51

DVHDWFXVKLRQWRNHHSKLPVHOIDÀRDW,URQLFDOO\KHZDVWKHRQO\RQH December 10, 1967 was one day off from being exactly three on the plane who didn’t know how to swim. He was powerless to years to the day Sam Cooke had died. Otis’s last single when he was do anything except hear screams and cries for help. Later, he heard alive, “Shake,” had been written by Sam Cooke. It had been Cooke’s nothing but the quiet splashes of water against his ears. Curled around ¿QDOVLQJOHDVZHOO a seat cushion in the freezing water, he held on. Seventeen minutes later, a rescue boat reached the site and found debris. Just as Ben was slipping beneath the water, he was pulled to safety. Everybody else was dead. Pilot Richard Fraser and eighteen-year-old guitarist KUHHPRQWKVDIWHUKLVEUHDNWKURXJKDW0RQWHUH\DQG¿YH -LPP\/HH.LQJZHUHOLIHOHVVO\ÀRDWLQJRQWKHVXUIDFH \HDUV DIWHU KLV ¿UVW 5 % FKDUWLQJ OHDYLQJ D UHFRUGHG A Coast Guard cutter brought the plane back to the surface. Tlegacy that spanned a mere six years, Otis Redding was Inside, near the rear of the fuselage, was the body of Otis Redding. GHDG2WLV¶VERG\OD\LQVWDWHDWWKH0DFRQ&LW\$XGLWRULXPZKHUH He was still strapped into his seat. “He looked like he was taking 25,000 people viewed his body and 6,500 mourners attended the a little nap,” said a rescue worker who helped pull him from the services. A Who’s Who of soul paid their respects. Little Richard, wreckage. The cause of the crash was never determined. Otis Fats Domino, Wilson Pickett, Sam and Dave, Percy Sledge, Aretha Redding died at twenty-six years old. Along with Otis, Phalon Jones, Franklin, and Stevie Wonder all attended. It was reported that James Carl Cunningham, Jimmy King, and Ronnie Caldwell, all perished. Brown attempted to attend, but when he arrived, he was chased None of the fans at The Factory knew the tragic news. An away by the Big O Ranch’s gate man. employee of the venue used a bullhorn to tell concert goers of the State Senator Leroy Johnson spoke at the service, revealing accident. “No one believed it, of course,” Ken Adamany, the club IRU WKH ¿UVW WLPH WKH FRQWULEXWLRQV 2WLV 5HGGLQJ KDG PDGH WR owner, remembered. “It was in the era of students not trusting scholarships for needy students and black voter-registration EXVLQHVVSHRSOH´5DGLRUHSRUWVKRZHYHUFRQ¿UPHGWKHQHZV3ROLFH drives. It is also revealed that Otis had already laid plans to open asked Adamany to have a show. He threw a free concert. “The news a camp for underprivileged boys at his ranch. Vice President spread slowly,” Rick Nielsen of the Grim Reapers said, “People were Hubert Humphrey sent his condolences: “The Death of Otis walking around in a daze. Instead of locked doors, we played.” Redding was a great loss and a tragedy to the music world. His

53 participation in the Stay in School album will be a worthwhile Warner refused to renegotiate the contract or to return ownership legacy to his memory and to the type of person he was.” of the Stax masters. Unable to regain the rights to their recordings, Stax severed their relationship with Atlantic. 6WHYH&URSSHUJXLWDULVWIRU%RRNHU7 7KH0*¶VSRLJQDQWO\ In an effort to save the Stax ship, the dismayed Stewart signed remembered his friend and longtime creative partner. a contract with Gulf-Western (a hybrid energy/entertainment business), which was then quickly gobbled up by Paramount “Otis was the nicest person I ever met. He didn’t have any vices, and Pictures. Booker T. was unimpressed by Stewart’s gambit, saying he didn’t have any faults, which is very unusual and sounds like you’re it was “the type of mentality that comes into the United States making it up. Everybody loved him. Kids gravitated to him. Women just when a company developed a new machine, a new technology, worshipped the guy. His fans were unbelievable. He was a tall, good- and became really large.” Stax, although it would go through looking guy and he sung his gazoo off, so why not? There are all stories several more incarnations, was never the same. As was believed DERXWDUWLVWV7KH\¶UHDOZD\V¿ULQJSHRSOHDQGGRLQJWKHVHFUD]\WKLQJV during his lifetime, Otis had turned out to be the heart and soul Otis wasn’t one of those kind of people. He was always working, always of Stax. Within two years, most of the original house musicians on time, always together, loved everybody, made everybody feel great. had left. He was like a country preacher, always wanting to help people out and always paying people compliments…. My original feeling for Otis wound XSEHLQJP\¿QDOIHHOLQJIRU2WLV+HZDVDSXUHPDQ$Q\WKLQJ\RXVD\ about him has to be good. He was a good person.” oday, Otis Redding is well remembered in his home state of Georgia. Resolutions were passed through the Georgia TSenate and House of Representatives unanimously praising KLV DFFRPSOLVKPHQWV 7KH PD\RU RI 0DFRQ *HRUJLD KDV GHFODUHG he opening lines to “(Sitting on) the Dock of the Bay” 6HSWHPEHUDV³2WLV5HGGLQJ'D\´,Q0DFRQ\RXFDQFURVVWKH are eerie and prophetic. “I roamed 2,000 miles away 2WLV 5HGGLQJ 0HPRULDO %ULGJH RU JD]H DW D VHYHQIRRWWDOO EURQ]H Tfrom Georgia/ Never to go back home again.” The song, statue (just a little bigger than life size) of Otis. In 2008, Otis’s family unintentionally, became Otis’s memento mori, something that launched the Big O Youth Educational Dream Foundation, whose reminds people of their mortality. The song was recorded only mission is to carry on Redding’s desire to empower young three days prior to his death. It was a departure for those who had SHRSOH DQG HQFRXUDJH WKHLU FRQ¿GHQFH DQG LQWHUHVW LQ followed Otis from the start. It was wistful, full of quiet yearning education through music and the arts. and easy satisfaction. It was also highly personal. Otis is laid to rest in a tomb on his private Steve Cropper dealt with Otis’s death by working. While search ranch in Round Oak, Georgia, twenty-three miles DQGUHVFXHFUHZVKDGEHHQFRPELQJ/DNH0RQRQDIRU2WLV¶VERG\ QRUWK RI 0DFRQ 2WLV¶V JUDYH VLWH LV LQ WKH IURQW Steve escaped to the studio to mix “Dock of the Bay.” That afternoon yard of his house, just a few feet to the left of he had gone over to a little jingle studio and found a sound-effects the driveway and impossible not to see from the tape with seagulls and crashing waves. “The toughest part was,” kitchen window or dining room. “He wanted Steve remembered, “they hadn’t even found Otis yet. And there I to be buried here at the ranch,” Zelma said. “It am, working on a song.” never bothers me having him there.” It is within Otis had built up so much momentum. “Dock of the Bay” hearing distance of his father’s church. was released the next month, on January 8, 1968. It was Otis’s Zelma never remarried. breakthrough, his “career” song. The record shot up the charts. It UHDFKHGRQERWKWKHSRSDQG5 %FKDUWVIRUWKHZHHNRI0DUFK DQGVWD\HGWKHUHIRUIRXUFRQVHFXWLYHZHHNV,WZDVKLV¿UVW VLQJOH DQG ¿UVW PLOOLRQVHOOHU 2WLV ZDV SRVWKXPRXVO\ DZDUGHG D For a great start and an overview of Otis “Best R&B song” and “Best R&B performance” at the eleventh to see if you’ll dig his work, I suggest the Grammy awards. UHODWLYHO\HDV\WR¿QGGRXEOH/3The Best “Dock of the Bay” wasn’t all that Otis had in the bin before of Otis Redding. (There are a ton of different his untimely demise. He had recorded massive amount of studio comps out there.) If you enjoy that, all of material in late 1967, just before his death. Three complete studio his studio albums that were recorded at albums: The Immortal Otis Redding, Love Man, and Tell the Truth Stax come highly recommended: were released one at a time between 1968 and 1970. Pain in My Heart The Great Otis Redding Sings Soul Ballads tax’s biggest cheerleader in the early days had been Jerry Otis Blue Wexler of Atlantic Records. Stax’s owner, James Stewart, The Soul Album Sconsidered Jerry a close friend and based a lot faith that Complete & Unbelievable: The Otis although he’d signed a contract, Jerry’s handshake and personal Redding Dictionary of Soul assurance that there was nothing tricky in the contract was why he King & Queen with Carla Thomas ended up distributing all Stax/Volt releases with Atlantic. Shortly The Dock of the Bay before Otis’s death, Atlantic Records was purchased by Warner The Immortal Otis Redding Bros. This business move, far outside of Stewart’s control, revealed Love Man that deep in the Stax/Atlantic distribution contract that Stewart had Tell the Truth unknowingly signed away the rights to the original master recordings for all of Stax’s present and future recordings. The executives at

57 ? It was recorded. No. The Answer Lies [Chris and Andy’s Andy’s Answer Lies [Chris and The were kinda interviewed by some We Trust Have you guys been interviewed Was he just talking to you or was it an Was Have you seen this interview? I don’t think Shang-A-Lang has been think I don’t were outside a venue We Oh yeah. It might have been. So, maybe? It was an interview. This may not have actually happened. 2QH RI WKH PRUH FRQÀUPLQJ WKLQJV :KHQDEDQGOLNH6KDQJ$/DQJVWDUWV 7KLQN RI WKH FXOWXUDOO\ RXWRIWRXFK 6KDQJ$/DQJ LV UHVSRQVLEOH IRU Daryl: before? Tucker: old band] had been interviewed. Chris: interviewed. Tucker: European zine. Chris: talked This guy cornered me and Atlanta. in zine in to me about how he ran the largest Germany. Daryl: DERXW ',< SXQN URFNEDQGV LV WKDW VHOGRP DZHVRPH FRPH/3V RXW PLJKW RI EH QRZKHUH SUHFHGHGZLOO E\ KDYH µV EHHQ ZKLFK EXLOWIULHQGVKLSV RQ VKDUHG WKH EDFNVPXWXDOUHVSHFW H[SHULHQFHV RI DQG WRSOD\VKRZVWRXUDQGUHOHDVHUHFRUGV \RX FDQ EH VXUH WKHUH·V DZRUN WUDLO RI EHKLQG KDUG WKHP 6KRZVVHW XS KDYH ORQJ EHHQ GULYHV:LWK WKH KDYH IULHQGV WKH\·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·WÀQGPRUHVROLGGXGHV WRURRWIRU Chris: Daryl: actual interview? Chris: Tommy: Daryl: Tommy: Andy: [Laughs]

TODD TAYLOR Daryl: Is there a way to give all of your Tommy: They were pretty much the default Andy: I had to hit a bong. [Laughs] personal band histories and how the four of opener for every single band. Chris: I punched Walker in the face last you ended up in this band together? Chris: So now when Shang-A-Lang plays year at Fest for making me miss the Arrivals. Andy: Chris and I used to play together. And Las Cruces, it’s more of an event. And it’s True story. then… I don’t know. We knew Tommy from more fun for me because it’s exciting. Tucker: You were hitting me pretty hard other bands and we knew Tucker from The Tommy: It’s a rare occurrence. last night. Farm (The Farm was a house in Las Cruces Daryl: It took more work to actually happen. Chris: Was I? Sorry. that used to have shows.). Tommy: Yeah. Tommy: I like to hit the road pretty hard. Chris: I think what happened was that Andy Daryl: Is it pretty safe to say that’s how most Andy: Hit it like it owes you money? and I were playing in The Answer Lies. Every of the Shang-A-Lang material is recorded? Daryl:$IWHU¿YH´VZKLFKRQHGR\RXWKLQN song that I was writing was a pop punk song How long are you usually in town together? your favorite is? DQG,NQHZWKDWWKDWZRXOGQ¶WÀ\ Tommy: It’s usually a weekend. Chris:7KH¿UVWRQHKDQGVGRZQ Andy: Yeah, Jason wanted to play metal or Andy: Weekend warriors! Andy: Error? something. Chris: What usually happens is I write about Chris: Yes, I love that record. Chris: So we decided to start a side project ten songs and Tommy writes a few songs and Daryl: Why? and the Answer Lies quickly imploded. And we come together and see which ones work Chris: I think it sounds good. Everything Shang-A-Lang became our only project. and record them all. Then we do the rest of we’ve recorded has been on a 4-track, and Daryl: But you’re all from different the work when these guys leave. And then I brought a 4-track to practice and was like, cities, right? I’m kind of like, “That didn’t work at all.” “Let’s do this.” And I had no clue what I Tucker: No, we’re all originally from Andy: “We’re gonna have to redo that one.” was doing. It’s like the more I know about Cruces. Well, we were all from Las Cruces Chris: I’ve almost put stuff on records and recording, the worse they get. when Shang-A-Lang was formed. then I’ll listen to it and it’s just like, “No.” Tucker: I don’t think the quality of recording Tommy: There was a time when Andy moved Andy: “Let’s re-record that next year.” gets worse. I think it’s the… to Kansas and I moved to Portland, Oregon, Tommy: And we’ll also take songs from solo Chris: Quality of songs? and we just did this band long distance. acoustic stuff. Chris and I did a dual solo Tucker: No, the playing. Daryl: And from what I understand, living in acoustic tour a couple years ago and we’re Chris:0D\EH different cities has helped the band? able to take songs that we did back then and Tommy: We get drunker. Tommy: Oddly enough, I think it has. translate them into band songs. Andy: I think my favorite is probably the Chris:,WKLQNDVIDUDVWRXULQJZH¿JXUHG Chris: And Tommy plays in Crowsfeet and ¿UVWRQHRU«XK«,DFWXDOO\KDYHQ¶WKHDUG we’re all long distance and we wanna keep we take all his songs. [Laughs] any of them. [Laughs] doing this. So we could meet where ever we Daryl: Chris, why do you say you’ll never Tommy: Yeah, I don’t have a record player want to and we could play. Andy and Tommy do a solo acoustic tour again? so… [Laughs] I really like the Jonesin’ split. would come in for the weekend and we’d be Chris: I think the vibe’s weird. It’s really I think both bands sound really good on it rushing to record songs. nerve racking for me. I like having a lot of and it seemed like a really lively recording. Tommy: Which was weird because we’d be noise and other people to fuck up. Everything seems more turned up. recording songs that we’d forget about later. Andy: It’s pretty self-indulgent, too. Look at me! Daryl: Could there also be something else Andy: “Dude, what song is that?” [Laughs] to the Jonesin’ split because it was released Tommy: “Learn this song, record it.” Daryl: Tommy, why do you like it? when you both went on tour together? Andy: I’d hear the drum track and that would Tommy: I like it ‘cause it’s pretty nerve racking. Tommy: Yeah, it was a moment in time. be it. Chris: So you like it for the same reason that Chris: , KDG EHHQ WDONLQJ WR 0LNH IRUHYHU Tommy::HZHQWRQDWRXURIWKH0LGZHVW I hate it? about doing an East Coast tour, and he runs DQG .DQVDV ZDV RXU ¿UVW VWRS :H VKRZHG Tommy: I think I actually do, ‘cause I like Dead Broke Records and I run Dirt Cult, so it Andy some songs, recorded them, and that the idea that it makes me a lot more nervous. was just like, “Let’s do a split label, split 7” was that. It seems to be more important. It’s more for the tour.” Chris:$QGRXU¿UVWVKRZZDV0LQQHDSROLV pressure. When you compare that to a Shang- [Kyle, a tour companion of Shang-A-Lang twenty-two hours away from Las Cruces, A-Lang show, I’m probably having more fun comes into the room and starts ranting.] 1HZ0H[LFR at a Shang-A-Lang show because it’s more Andy: Shut up Kyle. Daryl: What did those songs go on? lively and loud. But it doesn’t necessarily Kyle: Why are you telling me to shut up? Chris: That was the Jonesin’ split and the have that introspective feel. Tucker: ‘Cause there’s an interview %ULFN¿JKWVSOLWWKDW¶VFRPLQJRXW$QGWKHQ Andy: Plus partying with your friends is way Kyle: [Laughs] they came back into town. When did we better than partying by yourself. Chris: You will forever go down on tape— record the Turkish Techno split? Tommy: guitars and just Tucker: There’s one group where both of them them play. see how that goes. And it turned out to sound DUH¿IW\,W¶VMXVWWKHWKUHHRIXV7KHDYHUDJH Daryl::KDWZHUHWKHEHQH¿WVIRU" pretty good, I guess. DJHLVVRPHZKHUHDURXQGWZHQW\¿YH Tucker::HGLGDWVXQDPLUHOLHIEHQH¿WIRU Chris: Now we can do wailin’ solos. Daryl: How did you get into playing acoustic WKH 7KDLODQG WVXQDPL $ EHQH¿W ZDV IRU D Tommy: Now we can shred! At this point, folk music? friend of mine who got kicked in the face and this is the line-up. Tucker: I got a mandolin for Christmas. he needed to have reconstructive surgery. Daryl: I feel like I have a pretty good grasp I just kinda wanted to pick up a new The doctors were amazed that he even lived. of other projects that you’re all in, like the instrument. And this guy, D.S. Yancey, came I kinda got my start from putting on local Band of Enchantment—where Tucker plays to town and played a show. He stayed at the EHQH¿WVKRZV a fuckin’ mandolin—and Jon Lovitz which house. The night before we had gone out to Daryl: That’s cool, and it seems really is Andy and Tommy, but is there something see a movie and I had said something about different from what else I heard: that you used else that people might not know about which having my mandolin and he said, “You to be in a really rippin’ AC/DC cover band. you do musically? should pull it out. We’ll mess around and Tucker: I’m still in that band. The guys just Andy:,SOD\WKHWURXVHUÀXWH we’ll see how it goes.” moved back to Cruces from San Diego. Tommy::H¶UHSUHWW\JRRGZLWKWKHVNLQÀXWH Andy: [Laughs] “You should pull it out, Chris: He also once played mandolin for Tucker: Currently, I think I’m in eight bands. we’ll mess around.” Andrew Jackson Jihad under the stars of Las Tommy: He’s a bit of a whore. Chris: [Laughs] And we’ve toured ever since. &UXFHV1HZ0H[LFR,WZDVEHDXWLIXO Andy: Tucker wins. Tucker: The rest is history. I started with him. Daryl: It sounds like a magical moment Daryl: What are they? I knew BBR, which is the two older people. for all.

TODD TAYLOR

80 Chris: I was drunk. Chris: I fucking hate punk rock. Tommy: We’re aiming for the top. What is Andy: I just went from six to midnight. Daryl: You can tell. LW"0XOWLSODWLQXPDQGWKHQXUDQLXPKLWV" Daryl: What’s the fanciest equipment [Laughs] Andy: I think it’s actually enriched uranium. Shang-A-Lang has ever recorded on? Daryl: I have a question and I don’t know Chris: I think Capitol Records and Epic Chris: Tascam 4-track? [Laughs] if you can answer it, but on the insert of want shitty 4-track recordings. Daryl: Is that with two inputs or four? the Summertime 7”, there are some things Tommy: It’s like that Guided By Voices Chris: Four, but I only use one. that are blacked out. I was wondering thing, where he’ll be forwarded thousands Tommy:,WJRHVWKURXJKDPL[HU¿UVW if you knew what it said or why they’re of dollars… Chris: I broke my 4-track and bought a new blacked out. Chris: He was given $100,000 to record one, the same model. I broke it because I Chris: Pete (of Let’s Pretend Records) and went out to Walgreens and bought two was recording someone while really drunk did that. I think he just did that ‘cause it cassette tapes. and I jumped up to turn off a light with the looks cool. Tommy: And split the money among the headphones on. Tommy: I wasn’t on that one. I wouldn’t band. And Guided By Voices are loved just Tucker: I think the mics are fancier than the know. [Laughs] as well. recording unit. Chris: I think it says, “Where’s Tommy?” Andy: Where did I get this koozie? Chris: I got some nice condenser mics. Tommy: “What’s going on here?” [Laughs] It’s all about the mics. I always wondered Daryl: Do you have any grasp on how most Andy: I thought it was the Jonesin’ koozie how people got good 4-track sounds, and people have heard of you? and then I was like “This doesn’t say I was always trying to do it with Radio Tommy: Not really. Jonesin’ on it anywhere.” It’s a pretty cool Shack mics. Chris: I honestly have no clue. We self- koozie, but I have no idea where it came Tommy: The mics are what’s to thank for any release our records, so I know where our from. Sorry. clarity that might be found on the recording. records go. It’s really weird when you’re Daryl: How excited is the rest of the band Chris: Which may or may not exist. in Chicago and everyone’s singing your that Chris runs Dirt Cult Records? Daryl: So pretty much all of them have words and you’re just like, “Who the fuck Andy: Chris rules. been self-recorded on a 4-track. are you?” Tucker: I always offer my help but he Tucker: Yeah. Tommy: It’s also through friends having doesn’t want it. Daryl: Is this DIY out of necessity? distros. Tommy: I don’t really want to run a record Andy: Out of fun. Chris:1DZ,WKLQNLW¶VMXVWWKURXJK0LWFK label, but I like having a friend who does. Chris: Well, yes and no. There’s nowhere Clem. I’m gonna give him all the credit. Andy: ,¶P YHZ\ SZRXG RI KLP 0\ OLWWOH in Las Cruces that I would want to record Tommy:$Q\WLPH0LWFKVD\VDQ\WKLQJ boy is gwoing up. a record at. Chris: “Oh, a thousand plays on myspace. Daryl: Chris, how excited are you about Daryl: Why? What are the places like? 0LWFK PXVW KDYH VDLG VRPHWKLQJ DERXW your label? Chris: I don’t even know. Shang-A-Lang today.” Chris: So excited. Tucker: A lot of them do digital recordings Daryl:,WKLQNWKDW¶VWKH¿UVWSODFH,KHDUG Tommy: Fuckin’-a! Think about excited and we didn’t want to do that. of you. and put “so” in front of it. [Laughs] Tommy: They all just sound too clean Tommy: Really? [Laughs] Chris: I’ve wanted to do it since I was and polished. Andy:7KDQNV0LWFK:HORYH\RX fourteen-years-old. And then I did it. Chris: The Answer Lies were gonna record Daryl: Do you ever see any turnover from Andy: Chris had a dream and he grabbed at this one place and this guy was like, The Answer Lies? it by the balls! And he put those balls in his “Yeah man, I’m getting this commercial Chris: The thing with The Answer Lies is mouth and he just started sucking. sound down. I’ve been listening to a lot of WKDWZHQHYHUUHDOO\¿WLQWRWKHVFHQHZH Tommy: Way to go Chris. Tool.” It’s just like, no. were playing with. Daryl: What’s the most rewarding thing? Tommy: A lot of the bands that we like Andy: Remember that one show in Philly Chris: Ah… recorded on 4-tracks. For whatever reason, ZLWK $UWLPXV 3\OH DQG 6XQGD\ 0RUQLQJ Andy: All the pussy. [Laughs] we just like that sound. Einsteins? Chris: That pretty much sums it up. No, Andy: I love the way the Knockout Chris: Yeah, and then we’d turn around it’s putting out my friends’ bands because Pills stuff sounds, and that’s what Travis and go play with Dan Padilla or the Chinese my friends’ bands are the best bands in the (Spillers, bass player/ vocalist of the 7HOHSKRQHV:HQHYHUTXLWH¿WLQXQOHVVZH world, and then I get to put out their record. I Knockout Pills) used to record on. Kinda were playing with Shark Pants and then it GRQ¶WNQRZ,ORYHJRLQJWRWKHSRVWRI¿FH" grainy, a little distorted. didn’t matter because they rule, and I was Andy:,ORYHWKHZD\WKHSRVWRI¿FHVPHOOV Chris: It’s also awesome because we can watching Shark Pants. And I was ripping off Chris: The most rewarding thing is that the write and record a song. I think that’s all their riffs. SHRSOHDWWKHSRVWRI¿FHORYHPHWRGHDWK why we have so much recorded, because [Laughs] They fucked up my money order one day it’s so easy. Tommy: Now we know. and the postal women showed up at my Tucker: We can go at our own pace. You can Chris: Actually, it was kind of awkward. house later… make it sound how you want it to sound. “Sorry Isaac, here’s a song you wrote.” Andy: Armed to the teeth. Chris: And you can bring all your friends Andy: The Answer Lies was just so weird Chris: To say, “Chris, I’m sorry I fucked up. over and make them go, “Wow oh oh.” musically. Akiko’s songs we’re so Japanese, You’re gonna have to come by tomorrow.” Daryl: Who are some of your favorite if that’s an adjective. [Laughs] I don’t know, And I‘m like, “How do you know where I current bands? OLNH³ÀRZHUVN\WUHHELUG´ live?” And she’s like, “I work at the post Andy: Let me look at Razorcake real quick. Chris: Didn’t she have a song about an ice RI¿FH , NQRZ ZKHUH HYHU\RQH OLYHV´ [Laughs] Screaming Females last night cream cone? [Laughs] were so fucking bad ass. They fucking Andy: Yeah. She had a song about ice Daryl: So what’s the hardest thing about it? wailed. They’re at the top of my heap right cream melting in her car. None of us could Chris: I don’t know. I don’t think any of now. They blew me away. That girl sings have ever written those songs. That was it’s very hard. I think it’s all really fun. I so nice and rips shit up on her guitar. Ninja something special that Ikeko brought to the just sit down and listen to records and Gun was bad ass last night, too. band. But that was just one of the things that pack up records. I guess it’s money. And Tommy:0HKNDJR17PDQ made that band a little eclectic. it’s the fact that when I get drunk, I start Chris: He’s not asking who was awesome Chris: We never knew what we wanted. promising people things; and I’m the kind last night. I’m a little more focused now. I know what of person where if I promise you something, Tucker: But open up the Fest book and Capitol Records wants to hear, and we’re I’m going to do it. So if I get really drunk that’s who we’re into right now. shooting for it. [Laughs] like I did at Awesome Fest and tell seven DANNY BENGSTON

awesome bands I can put out their records, Andy: Heavy. PHHWLQJV:KHUHWKH\JR³0\HQHUJ\LV I’m gonna do it. I don’t know where the Chris: I’m kinda bummed now. about to leave the room, so I just wanted money is gonna come from. Andy: It’s where the inspiration comes from. to wish everyone a fine day.” Daryl: Andy, you’re a tattoo artist, right? Chris: It’s why I drink so much. Andy: “Namaste.” [Laughs] Andy: I used to work in a shop for a while, Daryl: Tommy and Tucker, what about you? Chris: That’s all true, but I think it’s Tommy. but I’m not really interested in working in a Tucker: Whatever it takes to get by so we Daryl: Who do you think it is, Tommy? VKRSDQ\PRUH0DNLQJVRPHWKLQJ\RXUMRE can continue to do this. Tommy: I don’t really shower that much. kind of sucks the fun out of it sometimes. Tommy:0RUHRUOHVV$Q\XQGHUWKHWDEOH Chris: What’s the criteria for being a hippie? I’d rather it just be a hobby and work on job. I have no fucking clue what I want to Daryl: Criteria? friends and do tattoos that I enjoy doing do as a career. Chris: Who likes Phish? instead of doing tattoos that I feel I have to Andy: I’m not sure if there’s anything I [Silence] do to pay the rent. want to do for an extended period of time. Chris: Who likes the Grateful Dead? Chris: 0DUYLQ WKH 0DUWLDQ ZLWK D ÀDPLQJ Daryl: Who’s the biggest hippie in Shang- [Silence] basketball. A-Lang? Tucker: Who smokes pot? Andy: Yeah, I don’t wanna do any star Andy: Tucker. Andy: I do! tattoos. Chris: Tucker. Everyone: Andy is the hippie. Chris: Kermit the frog with a stethoscope. Tucker: I’m bohemian. Andy: Just ‘cause you smoke pot doesn‘t make Andy: I don’t wanna do anything tribal. Chris: Actually, I would say it’s Tommy. you a hippie. Snoop Dogg’s not a hippie. Daryl: So you have that skill and I know, Tommy: I’m just a crusty piece of shit. Chris: Dude, Snoop Dogg is such a hippie. Chris, you’re a social worker. Chris: Tommy smells bad. [Laughs] Chris: I’m a therapist, social worker, Andy: Dude, we all smell bad. whatever. Chris: But Tommy smells worse. Daryl: What do you do? Daryl: Don’t you work at a natural food Chris: I work on an adolescent acute unit in co-op? a psychiatric hospital. Counseling kids and Chris: Well, I’m on the board, good families and stuff like that. point. I hang out with hippies at the board 61 DONOFTHEDEAD I will cop to being jaded. In a few short months I &P†O =OQ=HP=GAPDKOAEJŃQAJ?AO=J@IETPDAIQL turn a spry forty, and have been listening to music SEPDOKIAKPDANEJŃQAJ?AO=J@?NA=PAOKIAPDEJC all my life. How can anyone not be jaded after so of their own. You can hear the progression on many years? I know you’re jaded as well. It’s all each of their three LPs. With each record, the right. We’re all sort of friends here. So I’m getting playing gets heavier and tighter. So one can only more and more picky about my likes and dislikes. EI=CEJA SD=P PDA JATP NA?KN@ SEHH >A HEGA 1DAJ I just can’t be a cheerleader for mediocrity these you have the live aspect of the show. They follow days. Let someone else do that. There’s a lot of “just the Dukowski philosophy of even if you’re only okay” out there. Perhaps too much. Then you have playing in front of two people, you still play like a smattering of bands who blow minds and remind PDANA=NAłRADQJ@NA@LAKLHAPDANAPKOAAUKQ&P†O you why you have lived your life, in some shape LNAPPU K>REKQO @QNEJC PDAEN łNOP OKJC PD=P PDAOA or form, in pursuit of hearing great music. Seeing guys want to be on stage. None of that half assed It’s Casual has reminded me why music is awesome “we-haven’t-practiced-in-a -month-even-though- and something worth staying up for late at night, we-have-this-show-to-play” garbage too many witnessing it in some small club. This is a duo that >=J@OLQHH&†RA?=QCDP=>KQPBKQNPKłRAODKSO delivers! Sonically, and in their live performance as this past year and have yet to be disappointed. well. Heavy rock that recalls late period Black Flag It’s seeing them that gets me stoked on seeing live and early Bl’ast. And those are two bands I don’t music again. They’re loud, sonic, and fun as hell. use for comparison lightly.

1DABKHHKSEJCEJPANREASSAJP@KSJ=PPDA/AH=TNAOP=QN=JPEJ%KHHUSKK@   Eddie - guitar, vocals / W.C.E. - drums Interview by Matt Average and Donofthedead / Layout by Daryl Gussin

M.Avrg: You have a pretty good work ethic. on downtown L.A. It was really funny one street, there’s construction. You go down Eddie: Always practicing. Always writing. because we stopped and had lunch at that another and there’s construction. We have like forty new songs that aren’t place Phillipe’s, right by Union Station. We Eddie: It’s pretty intense, man. Everyone’s even recorded. You listen to all three records, left our car at the Norwalk metro station here. Everyone from New York is here. Buicregl, Stop Listening to Bad Music, The and took the Green Line to Union Station. Everyone from Europe is here. It’s movies, New Los Angeles, to me, it’s an excellent We got off and walked out from the Union it’s music, television, art, it’s skateboarding. progression. If you listen to them in a row, Station, across the street towards Phillipe’s, I think L.A. is the best. It’s the best weather. the musicianship progressively gets better. It and this lady, from out of town, she came ODXJKWHU@ 0\ they are supposed to be in each region, and entities. You put the time in, the songs get mom is like, “Wow, that’s amazing.” She they’re an hour and a half away. That’s L.A. stronger. You get to know how to challenge goes, “I remember when downtown was And it feels right. I think it’s an exciting time. each other. so classy. Like you could go to department The New Los Angeles. The last four years, Eddie: Exactly. We know our limitations. I stores and there would be an elevator guy.” I’ve been working at Southern Lord. I choose know what he (W.C.E.) doesn’t like to do, The sixties. I’m looking at them, thinking, to take public transportation from my house and he knows what I don’t like to do. He this is the new Los Angeles. People from to my job because it’s just one bus downtown plays drums, and I play guitar and sing. But out of town are asking if people speak to the subway, and it lets me off right here (in I want to be fair and give him a voice too. English. Because no one speaks it. So I Hollywood). I save a lot of money, and I see He’s capable of writing songs too. Two songs came up with that term: This is the New more. I’ve been so amazed by what I’ve seen. on The New Los Angeles are his. Of the forty Los Angeles. I’m not saying it’s good or Good and bad. new songs, twenty are his and twenty are EDG ,¶P RI 0H[LFDQ GHVFHQW ,¶P MXVW M.Avrg: What are some of the interesting mine. His are more of the straight hard rock saying it’s a fact. things that you’ve seen? VW\OH0LQHDUHPRUHRIWKHSXQN\The New M.Avrg: It is what it is. Eddie: I’ve seen some of the stupidest of Los Angeles style stuff. Eddie: It is what it is! the stupid happen. Like the things you think W.C.E.: We’ve just been consistent. I feel like M.Avrg: When I think of the New Los you would see happen happen. Like a semi WKHEHVWLV\HWWRFRPH:HGH¿QLWHO\KDYHQ¶W Angeles... I drove from downtown one day, homeless guy—all of a sudden—at the back hit our peak. That’s the scary thing. Every from the 101 over into the Valley and I just of the bus just start changing clothes. Butt time we rehearse, the stuff we haven’t even saw construction. I’ve lived here for only naked in the back, and there are women played is more like The New Los Angeles but eleven years. But in those eleven years, this and children on the bus. It’s like, “What heavier and fun. I’m like, “Fuck I can’t wait is still like a different city right now. Los the fuck are you doing? C’mon dude.” I to record this!” Angeles had a certain feel to it. And now it’s had to step in and defend a female a couple M.Avrg: So, what is “The New Los Angeles”? a different city. weeks ago on the Red Line. This past month Not the album, but the expression. Eddie: ,W LV , WKLQN LW¶V H[FLWLQJ 0RUH it’s been crazy on the subway coming in Eddie: I was born and raised in Los Angeles. people, more expansion. Everything is a big (to Hollywood). There was an African- So was he. One day I was driving through production. If you want to go somewhere, American chick sitting down. She was mid- downtown; I went to a Dodgers game with there’s construction. It’s a big thing. 20s, looks like she was going to LACC (Los P\SDUHQWV0\SDUHQWVZHUHUHPLQLVFLQJ M.Avrg: You can’t escape it. You go down Angeles City College), a student. She was

63 sitting there, and she was, uh, very well of town, so my younger brother has been time. That was an amicable split. Those guys endowed. These two guys were drunk and staying at her place. He offered me a ride are still doing well. I’ve come back and seen very close to her looking at her breasts. I’m (into town) yesterday, and Wednesday, them several times. The new rhythm section standing there with my skateboard and my Thursday, and Friday. “You want a is fantastic too. It’s all worked out really laptop bag at ten in the morning coming to ride into Hollywood?” “Sure, if you’re well. Eddie and I kept going with It’s Casual. work. She’s sitting there, and one guy is volunteering, cool.” Guess how long it It was a one-year thing that we did there, and bending his body over half way, at a ninety took me everyday to get in? An hour and it was great. degree angle. I go, “Hey man, why don’t you twenty minutes! When I take one bus and M.Avrg: How far outside of L.A. have you leave the girl alone? She’s going to school. one subway, it takes one hour and fifteen (as It’s Casual) played? She doesn’t want to be harassed.” She goes, minutes. He volunteered, but if I had given Eddie: Up to Seattle and back. In June of “It’s alright.” I go, “You know, no it’s not him gas money, it would have been ten µZHÀHZRXWWR6HDWWOHIRUWKHZHHNHQG all right.” Because if it was my mom, or my bucks a trip. For me everyday, it’s $1.15 and came back. Then in July (‘08), when that sister, or a female friend, I wouldn’t want round trip if I buy a monthly pass. You earthquake happened in mid-July, we were in them to be harassed. I decided that was it. can’t beat that. Seattle. We did twelve shows in twelve days. They were drunk in the morning. It almost W.C.E.: I live in the Pomona area. I’m We started in San Diego, went all the way got physical. I was like, “You know, dude, I about forty-two miles from here. I take the up and came back, knocked it out. We played do have a problem with you. But I got too 3RPRQDVWDWLRQ0HWUR/LQNDOOWKHZD\WR in Visalia, with Black Cobra, and came back much to fucking lose right now. I’m not Union Station. From Union Station I hop on that night. going to ruin what I have right now over the Red Line and take that all the way up. I M.Avrg: Favorite place to skate in L.A.? having friction with you. It’s ridiculous.” MXVWEULQJDODUJHGXIÀHEDJRIDOOP\GUXP Eddie: I would say the Belvedere skatepark. 7KHQ , VHH D IXOORQ ¿VW ¿JKW ODVW stuff, as much as I can shove in there, and M.Avrg: Do you skate vert or street? ZHHN)RUWKH¿UVWWLPH,WZDVJLUODQGD cart it all the way up here (to Hollywood). I Eddie: , VNDWH YHUW VWUHHW DQG ERZOV 0\ JX\¿JKWLQJ$FRXSOH*KHWWRGUDPD+H take the bus once a week out to Claremont IDYRULWHLVDPLQLUDPSOLNHIRXURU¿YHIHHW started hitting her. This guy jumped up and where I do a radio show. It’s just great. twenty-four feet wide. got the guy and wrestled him down. Where It saves me wear and tear on my car. I’m M.Avrg: What’s the story behind songs like the doors open, the girl’s foot got caught a much more relaxed person when I’m a “Take Care of Your Kids” and “Navigator”? in that little space between the subway pedestrian. I get some exercise. There are a W.C.E.: “Navigator”: people living beyond and the platform. All of this drama, and PLOOLRQEHQH¿WV$PLOOLRQEHQH¿WV0D\EH their means. People really pouring all their she’s going to get her fucking leg torn off I’m a preaching to the choir, but there are a money into their car and nothing else, really. right now, that’s all I thought. So I got up PLOOLRQEHQH¿WV Neglecting their children, neglecting their and ran out and told the driver, “Don’t go. Eddie: You know what’s funny, in the “L.A. family, their parents, neglecting their spouses, A woman’s leg is caught.” Luckily, the versus the suburbs”? They (buses) come neglecting their actual needs of what goes on. subway was stalled. I was like, “Dude, call more often. Instead, investing all their time, money, and WKH IXFNLQJ FRSV 7ZR GXGHV DUH ¿JKWLQJ W.C.E.: I get every half hour. efforts into a $55,000 Lincoln SUV. Putting and this lady’s leg is caught.” That’s the Eddie: 0\VNDWHSDUNLVVHYHQPLQXWHVIURP DVD screens on every headrest, making crazy shit I’ve seen. And it’s all been in my house. I go there Saturday and Sunday sure that it’s polished and waxed every this past month. PRUQLQJ 0\ QHSKHZ VNDWHV RQH LV IRXU single weekend. Driving thirty miles an hour M.Avrg: What’s the coolest thing you’ve seen? He’s in kindergarten, and he ollies off banks. down the boulevard with their stereo up full Eddie: I think the coolest thing I’ve seen I had to say that! He’s like a prodigy. He has blast and all their windows rolled down. on the Red Line, is half a car all joined in an older brother who is nine. We take the bus Really, that’s just their existence. If that’s a conversation on how public transportation and it’s a voyage. They put the quarter in. your existence, that’s not a very good one. has been saving them time, money, and wear They take a ten-minute ride, they get off, and It really isn’t. That’s not a goal. Especially and tear on their car. the skatepark’s there. if those are the same folks who are living in W.C.E.: I heard the exact same when I M.Avrg: You guys were all part of Revolution less than ideal circumstances. I’m not saying was coming here a few months ago. A lot 0RWKHUDWRQHSRLQW" all of them do, of course. There are people RI SHRSOH²LW ZDV WKHLU ¿UVW WLPH WDNLQJ W.C.E.: We’re the original rhythm section of who can obviously afford it, but I’m talking the Red Line—and they were just amazed. 5HYROXWLRQ0RWKHUDFWXDOO\-DVRQ+DPSWRQ about those who can’t afford living beyond These are your average middle class had called me after It’s Casual had opened their means. It’s something I’ve seen over suburban folks who have lived in cities XSIRU0LNH9$QG7KH5DWVZKLFKZDVWKH and over again. People putting too much that the metro system doesn’t service. They ROGHULQFDUQDWLRQRI5HYROXWLRQ0RWKHU+H emphasis into their vehicle, and not enough said they drive their cars to the Pasadena wanted to jam with me. He and I had jammed into their daily lives. They have children at VWDWLRQ³,W¶VWKH¿UVWWLPHZH¶YHHYHUWDNHQ a couple times here and there, and he said, home. They have spouses. They have elderly public transportation and it’s wonderful! “We want to start a whole new band, and we parents. That money could be better diverted How come we’ve never taken this before?” want to start it with you guys.” So Eddie and to things like that. Yet, for them, it’s important A lot of people in Los Angeles don’t realize I came on board, and that was November to be seen in a certain way. we have a subway system. Those who live ‘05. By February ‘06, we had recorded the M.Avrg: I had a neighbor who had the DVD in the city do. But those who live in Los (3 7KH ¿UVW 5HYROXWLRQ 0RWKHU UHFRUGLQJ hooked up in his car and he loved to play it Angeles County, the outlying areas, they at all. That summer we had gone on a pretty loud. You would hear the movie at full blast. don’t. If they do, they don’t ever think H[WHQVLYH 0LGZHVW(DVW &RDVW WRXU :H GLG W.C.E.: People just seek attention. They DERXWXWLOL]LQJLW:KHQWKH\¿QDOO\KDYH two legs of that tour. It was pretty awesome. need attention. Either they didn’t get attention you should see their eyes light up! There We were playing in malls, in the parking when they were children, or they weren’t was a group of middle-aged women, all lots. The Zumiez Couch Tour. There were very well attended to, and so this is their LQ WKHLU IRUWLHV DQG ¿IWLHV 7KH\ FDPH WR IRXU WR ¿YH WKRXVDQG NLGV ZKLFK ZDV D chance to really put their mark on the world. L.A. on the subway. They came out here pretty impressive audience. It was cool, and So if that means they have to drive down the to have a good time, a night on the town. we had the greatest time in that band. They boulevard slowly, with their windows rolled They were just amazed. Everybody started treated us well, and everything worked out down, in a very fancy vehicle with the stereo extolling the virtues of riding public trans. great. At the very end, Eddie and I have very blasting, then so be it. That’s what they’re ,WORRNHGOLNHDELJ0HWURFRPPHUFLDORU busy lives—professional lives that is—and it trying to do. something. [laughter] really became a question of, “Can we do the M.Avrg: At that point, it’s like the car is the M.Avrg: 7UDI¿FLVVWDUWLQJWREHDWDGELWOLJKWHU band, or can we do our professional lives?” destination, instead of a means... Eddie: 0\ VLVWHU DQG , OLYH LQ WKH VDPH Eddie and I, our professional lives, were a W.C.E.: Exactly. It’s just an interesting idea, apartment complex, and she’s been out little bit more of a priority at that point in or concept, to put my life savings into a 64 MATT AVERAGE MATT AVERAGE

vehicle that is just going to depreciate. It’s issue. The issue is making sure you’re W.C.E.: Some people just need to plan JRLQJ WR EH VHHQ DV QRWKLQJ LQ ¿YH \HDUV taking care of all the kids you have. If their lives better. It’s a matter of personal anyway. It’s one thing if you have the excess you have seven kids, take care of them. responsibility. Again, a lot of these songs money and you’re going to buy a nice car that If you have two kids, take care of them. really do talk about personal responsibility. you’re going to restore. A lot of people do There are people who cannot take care of Taking care of yourself and making sure you that. They have their “Sunday drivers” and one child. You have too many kids! If you DUH¿WIRUZKDWHYHUVRFLHW\EULQJV\RX whatnot. The idea is just don’t live beyond have one child, and you can not take care Eddie: Okay, I come from the city of your means and make sure you know where of one child, you have too many kids. It Whittier, and there are a lot of close- your priorities are. That’s the basic tenet of isn’t necessarily a number. It isn’t seven, minded people there, where they grow up that song. or nineteen, or four, or two. in the Hispanic household, and the macho M.Avrg: What about “Take Care of Your Eddie: It’s within your means. I would like father is like, “You know what, you gotta Kids”? to have plenty of kids, but I’m not ready work construction.” You’re in high school, Eddie: “Take Care of Your Kids”: it’s what ¿QDQFLDOO\0\WKLQJLVWKDW,ZDQWWREHYHU\ play football, and have a car when you’re I see from my house to my job. I love kids. established before I do have kids. sixteen, and you have to have a kid as soon I go out of my way to spend time with my W.C.E.: 0\VHOIWRR as you leave high school. I walked into nephew. I get on the bus and people let Eddie: Like going to the market and the music instrument store in Whittier on their kids run around on the bus. They’ll spending $200, $300, or $400 on groceries a weekend, looking at stuff, and I’ve seen have like seven kids. The bus will take off, cannot be an issue, or shouldn’t be an issue people with their kids buying a musical DQG WKH\¶OO WKH NLGV  JR À\LQJ GRZQ WKH at all. I’m not saying it’s an issue now, but instrument. We’re talking and I tell them fucking aisle way. Dude, no matter how that’s one of the things. You gotta feed what I do for a living, and they just can’t many kids you have, if you get on the bus, your children. So the lyrics are “Take care comprehend it because they’re so closed in or the subway, at least hold their hand, and of your kids/ Where are your kids/ Feed WKHLU PDJQL¿HG ³ZRUNLQJ DW 836´ ZRUOG make sure they’re all sitting down. I’ll see your kids/ You’ve got kids”! It’s reality, living with their parents, having their the kids run on, the mom and dad are all dude. It’s funny. I’ve seen people who I girlfriend and their three kids living in the burnt out, putting the money in. The bus know from high school that I’ll run into same room they were in in high school. WDNHVRIIDQGNLGVJRÀ\LQJ on the bus, and I’ve seen people with their They’re like, “You really toured with W.C.E.: It’s just child negligence. It’s not kids, and I’m like, “This person shouldn’t CKY?” They doubt you. Just because you necessarily that you have too many kids. be having kids!” [laughter] I know what have a ceiling over your head, and you’re 0\ SDUHQWV FRPH IURP IDPLOLHV RI PDQ\ they’re about, and I’m like, “Oh these poor not going to exceed that, don’t doubt me, children. Large families. That’s not the children!” [laughter] dude! That’s the way I lash out. “You got 66 DONOFTHEDEAD kids/ Take care of your kids.” It’s a lash because not everyone was there. I was like, M.Avrg: Even the widening of the freeways out, and to get it off my chest as well. Dude, even the fucking cops are scared. They isn’t helping. By the time they’re done, M.Avrg: The song, “LAPD,” that’s not about want to go home and live. WUDI¿FZLOOKDYHLQFUHDVHGPRUH/RRNKRZ the Los Angeles police, is it? M.Avrg: What would be the perfect version long they’ve been working on the 405. Eddie: No. It’s about how the city is of L.A. for you guys? If you could recreate Donofthedead: That’s all band-aids to the overcrowded. L.A., how would it be? LQLWLDOSODQIURPWKH¿IWLHVWKDW¿IW\SHUFHQW M.Avrg: That’s what I thought. Eddie: 0\XWRSLDRI/$")LUVWRIDOOWKH of the freeways that should have been built W.C.E.: It’s about overpopulation. And ZD\LWLVULJKWQRZLW¶V¿QH%XWDFRPPXQLW\ now, are not there. They’re only widening, really, we don’t even have enough police of trust between everybody. This may sound but that’s just a short-term solution. to handle situations at certain times. There cheesy and cliché, but no racial lines, and no W.C.E.: ,W¶V UHDOO\ GLI¿FXOW WR EXLOG WKDW have been cutbacks with the LAPD and a lot isolation between races. Better integration. utopia that we want. I think Los Angeles is of essential services. It doesn’t necessarily $QG SHRSOH PDQGDWRU\ GRQ¶W ZDWFK 079 this ongoing project, and it always will be. mean LAPD. I think we’re talking more and watch channel 28, PBS. TV is fucking There’s always going to be cracks and holes city-wide services that cannot handle up a lot of people in the head. They’re (TV) in the issues, too. I have to say, for this city, and meet the demand of the city. That’s telling ‘em what they need to be. They need it’s done remarkably well, considering all an infrastructure problem more than it is certain things to be a certain status. And they the things that have dragged it down in the VSHFL¿FDOO\WKH/$3' believe it. People will see people on a TV past. If you were walking down Hollywood Eddie: Prior to where I’m living now—I’m show, and they’ll be like, “Well, they have WHQ¿IWHHQWZHQW\\HDUVDJRLWORRNHGYHU\ in a pretty decent apartment building, really, all these nice things.” Without thinking it different than it does today. We now have a really quiet—the prior residence I lived in, I might take hard work. Working seven days brand new shopping center just right over used to see a lot of stuff go down. A couple a week, get an education before that, and here (Hollywood & Western). This area of big incidences. And it would take the cops ¿QGLQJ D FDUHHU DQG VSULQJERDUGLQJ RII RI ZDV KRUUHQGRXV ¿IWHHQ \HDUV DJR 7RGD\ twenty minutes to come. Then I did some that. You don’t just deal drugs and live like I can stand out there and not get harassed. GLJJLQJDURXQGRQOLQHDQG,¿QGRXWWKDW3LFR that. [laughter] To sum it up, my utopia: no (YHU\WKLQJ LV ¿QH 3HRSOH DUH HQMR\LQJ 5LYHUD KDV OLNH ¿YH SROLFH FDUV >ODXJKWHU@ racial lines! themselves. There’s a subway system on one I’m like, “Are you kidding me?” I remember Donofthedead: And better public corner and a brand new Ralph’s on the other when the incident was going down by my transportation! corner. It helped the community, absolutely! KRXVHWKLVJDQJ¿JKW7KHFRSVVKRZHGXS W.C.E.: We need more obviously. Because there were two cop cars. They were down the they’re not building any new freeways. There street watching the incident, but no one came are no plans to build any new freeways. 67 INTERVIEW BY REYAN ALI RYAN RUSSEL LAYOUT BY LAUREN MEASURE

ver since its inception, punk there’s also been a massive resurgence eyeballs crawling out of buildings like rock has been an aesthetic in the popularity and viability of vinyl, voyeuristic metaphors come to life, indebted to its artistic which means that the gatefold format WXUTXRLVHKXHG ERDUV URDULQJ DQG imagery. In examples like can provide more room for art than a ripping through chains, centipedes Winston Smith’s sharply CD ever could. Merchandise sales are crawling through dismembered hands, Eangular typeface of the Dead Kennedys on the upswing, too, but apparently at skeleton cops cackling at prisoners logo, Raymond Pettibon’s imposing the expense of people buying fewer behind bars, and a tiger sitting in a Black Flag bars, Jerry Mahoney’s boy albums, which could gradually play a bizarre clutter of clouds, intestines, burning up in suburbia on the front role in deciding whether bands want to and oil. Minino has a style shaped of Bad Religion’s 6XìHU, paintings spend their time and money creating by the creepy surrealism of hardcore and drawings have created a visual new music or touring to support what’s punk cover designer Pushead, the foundation for the material of some recorded. It’s clearly a messy situation. JURVVRXW JRRGQHVV RI *DUEDJH 3DLO RISXQNØVíQHVWUHFRUGVPHUFKDQGLVH One such artist trying to navigate Kids artisan John Pound, and the wild designs, and tattoos. However, the this gray area is artist extraordinaire freedom of Californian lowbrow artist overall importance of art in music Richard Minino (a.k.a. Horsebites), Camille Rose Garcia. He is able to is rapidly changing with the cultural who is currently crafting some of the evoke that sense of seedy and unlikely omnipresence of the MP3, and punk IUHVKHVW DQG PRVW RìWKHZDOO SXQN weirdness that made punk visuals PXVLF LV IHHOLQJ WKH HìHFWV 2Q RQH visuals seen in a good while. He’s FKDOOHQJLQJLQWKHíUVWSODFH+DYLQJ hand, the technology of today allows responsible for the stylized petite also served as the drummer of the people to illegally download music, dancer twirling artfully on the cover recently deceased Disaster Squad and which means they do not get a chance of Dead To Me’s Cuban Ballerina, and also as a part of new Floridian gang to absorb album art because they’re the wholesale Armageddon involving Gatorface, his brash and gorgeously primarily after the songs, whereas legal alligators, lightning, and tidal waves gruesome style keeps on sticking with downloaders only receive downsized occurring on the New Mexican Disaster its viewer, no matter on which surface thumbnail representations of the Squad/Western Addiction split. His his art appears. original album art. At the same time, other artwork includes hideous 69 I started getting into punk around tenth grade, and that changed my life. I was like, “Awesome! I don’t feel weird drawing these creepy images that come naturally to me.”

Reyan::KDW¶VWKH¿UVWWKLQJ\RXUHPHPEHUGUDZLQJRUSDLQWLQJ" It just blew my mind. It sounded like garbage to me but, at the same Richard: ,DFWXDOO\VWLOOKDYHP\¿UVWSDLQWLQJDQGLW¶VVRPHNLQGRI time, it was so fast and crazy that I couldn’t comprehend what was ZHLUG¿VKGLQRVDXULQZDWHUFRORU,UHPHPEHUSDLQWLQJLWEXW,ZDV going on. I just didn’t understand it. Everyone at the party hated it. I RQO\WZR\HDUVROG,GH¿QLWHO\KDGLWRQP\ZDOOXQWLO,ZDVWZHOYH actually have footage of him standing in a corner playing air drums 0\PRPZDVDSDLQWHU0\VLVWHUZHQWWRDQDWLRQDOVFKRROIRUDUW WR0LQRU7KUHDW,VWLOOGLGQ¶WJHWLQWRSXQNIRUD\HDUDIWHUWKDWEXW, and did paintings and drew a lot, and my dad would sit down and always remember that one time. Then, I started getting into Ramones, draw every evening. Pretty much everyone in my family was slightly TSOL, Circle Jerks, stuff like that. He was a huge Southern California artistic. They were always super supportive and shoved tons of art punk fan and his favorite band was Adolescents. And D.I. He was a VWXIIGRZQP\WKURDWVRLWZDVWRWDOO\HDV\DQGDFFHVVLEOHWRPH0\ huge D.I. fan. I started getting into punk around tenth grade, and that dad was a printer and he owned his own print shop, and I’d go there changed my life. I was like, “Awesome! I don’t feel weird drawing after school and he had a bunch of rubber stamps and weird ink and an these creepy images that come naturally to me.” embossing machine that I played with. I would draw and make mixed Reyan: ,IHOWWKHVDPHZD\DERXW0LQRU7KUHDWWKH¿UVWWLPH,OLVWHQHG media things all day. to them. I thought they were kind of trashy and wondered what the big Reyan: :KHQGLG\RX¿UVWVWDUWGHYHORSLQJ\RXUFXUUHQWVW\OH" deal was. The album sounded like it was recorded inside of a tin can, Richard: ,WZDVGH¿QLWHO\DJUDGXDOWKLQJ,UHPHPEHUWKH¿UVWWLPHVLQ but I guess that’s what was great about it—the fact that that was the elementary school sitting and staring at all my friends’ skate decks— way they chose to record. Santa Cruz and Powell decks. The art was incredible on those. Those Richard: 7KDW¶V ZKDW , ORYH DERXW WKHP 7KH ¿UVW WLPH \RX KHDU DUWLVWVZHUHLQVDQHO\LQÀXHQWLDOEXW,GLGQ¶WHYHQNQRZLWDWWKHWLPH anything and don’t know what to think about it, I love that. Like Bad The whole style I do now didn’t actually emerge until the past couple Brains, my friend thought they were a German band. I was like, “Oh RI\HDUV,ZDVNLQGRIDOORYHUWKHSODFHXQWLO,¿QDOO\VWDUWHG¿QGLQJ really?” Now, I’ve got a totally different perception of Bad Brains, but my niche. Then, it really started coming out and I started honing in I loved that period in my life. on an actual style. Reyan: I remember reading elsewhere that one of your favorite images Reyan: Was the time that you saw those skate decks around when you is the Bad Brains album art of the Capitol building being struck by started listening to punk and hardcore? lightning [from the cover of their self-titled 1982 record]. Were there Richard: I actually didn’t get into punk until way later on, whereas any other visuals in that time period that were really provoking? most kids got into it at middle school. I used to listen to everything Richard: 'H¿QLWHO\/LNH,VDLGVRPXFKRIP\NQRZOHGJHLVGXHWR in middle school. I was a huge Pantera fan; I thought they ruled the my neighbor, and he was really, really into the Southern California world. Then, when I was fourteen, my sister’s friend got invited to her punk bands of the ‘80s, and I always remember the cover of the D.I. birthday party. His name is TJ, and he was my neighbor. He brought album Team Goon because it’s super simple-looking and reminded RYHUD0LQRU7KUHDWWDSHDQGKHSXWLWLQRXUKRPHVWHUHR,UHPHPEHU me of Vision Street with its black, red, and white. That album cover hearing “I Don’t Wanna Hear It,” and thinking, “What the hell is this?” freaked me out. I loved (D.I.’s) Ancient Artifacts album. It was hand- painted. I loved RKL. I always thought the cover of the Dickies album, shit, I wouldn’t care because I just kind of live on my own standards. I The Incredible Shrinking Dickies, was cool because they had props and can’t stand when people are, “Oh, you’re getting too big!” Actually, I’m everything. I used to love back in the day that when everything was gaining my rep and if you want to consider me using their money to pay done by hand, they were going to have a photo shoot, so they had to my rent, just because it’s not a punk band doesn’t mean I’m selling out. I make themselves small, and had a giant pencil and a huge toothbrush. did a Beyoncé shirt, for crying out loud! I did Lynyrd Skynyrd recently. Everything was totally not proportioned and it was awesome. Reyan: To go the other way, who were some of the smaller bands that Reyan: Jumping much farther ahead to when you were older and had been you did stuff for at this time? drawing for a long time in-between playing in and designing for bands, Richard: No Trigger. I remember they were really excited because I when did you decide that this is what you wanted to do for a living? did some Strike Anywhere stuff. They were big fans of them. Western Richard: At the time, I was delivering pizza because I was touring, $GGLFWLRQLVRQHRIWKH¿UVWIHZ&'OD\RXWV,GLGWRR6RPHRIWKH and that was the only job that would let me come back and keep workers at Fat were pretty stoked on my stuff—which is how I got touring. I knew that I couldn’t do this for the rest of my life and just WRGRDORWRIWKH'HDG7R0HVWXII²EXWLWZDVMXVWUDQGRPEDQGVD EHWKHJX\ZKRGHOLYHUVSL]]D0\VHOIHVWHHPZDVVRORZ,WPDGH lot of bands I’d never even heard of that just got a hold of me. It was me feel like it was the only thing I was capable of, and when I got a VKRFNLQJWRPH$W¿UVWLWZDVOLNH³Fall Out Boy from any can you do this?” and then I was like, “I like the way that sounds!” It of your friends in punk bands? has history in one of my favorite albums. At the same time, I was just Richard: Sort of. It was more before they got really big. It wasn’t getting a lot of work, and was like, “You know what? I might as well like how they were later. To me, doing a shirt design was doing a shirt start my own company and call it Horsebites.” It was weird-sounding design. It didn’t matter to me about punk cred or any of that kind of and I liked it. It goes back to my punk roots. I’m really, really bad with stuff. I always hated that whole thing anyways, so if anyone did give me timelines and stuff like that. I’m going to roughly guess it was three or

71

I don’t like how everyone is trying to please everyone, which is actually really frustrating, so I think that’s why some of my images I try to make not for everyone.

four years ago. I never plan for the future and I never think about the think that’s why some of my images I try to make not for everyone. I past, so I like doing things in the moment. try not to make it too broad, and make it violent or gory because this is Reyan: &RUUHFWPHLI,¶PZURQJEXWDUHQ¶W\RXWKH¿UVWJHQHUDWLRQLQ what punk is, and if your mom doesn’t like it, then it’s good. America of a Chilean family? ,QWKHZKROHWKLQJZLWK03VDQG¿OHVKDULQJ,DFWXDOO\GRQ¶W Richard: Buzzcocks and Sex Pistols many records they were going to have to sell. I don’t like how everyone records and shirts. is trying to please everyone, which is actually really frustrating, so I Reyan: What kind of impression has Florida had on your work? 73

Richard: I guess just the whole beach/fake paradise thing. Florida is almost like a crappy mock of California. The architecture that they just keep tearing down is really frustrating. It’s got no character. That’s why I love going to places like Philly or San Francisco or Richmond. They keep trying to restore things. Florida, being the concrete jungle that it is, constantly tears down and builds new; putting parking lots on top of everything. Reyan: You’ve always cited the presence of Disney in Florida as being one of the things that impacted your art. Richard: Yeah, I was obsessed with Disney. I would watch old Disney things as a kid all the time. The fact that they took so much time to do WKRVHEDFNJURXQGLPDJHV,ZDVÀRRUHGHYHQDVDNLG7KHIDFWWKDW they put so many hours into that blew my mind. Alice in Wonderland was so weird and trippy even as a kid. I liked that, even for Disney, things weren’t so safe. As an awesome animator and innovator, it was cool to know that Walt Disney lived around the corner. Reyan: Does it make you sad to know that Disney is no longer producing hand-animated movies? Richard: Yeah. I like all the Pixar stuff, but it’s a cop out. It doesn’t feel as magical or hard-earned. It’s kind of a bummer but you can only expect it to go that way. Reyan: Animals appear in your stuff a lot. Where does that come from? Richard: I have no idea. I guess I love drawing animals. It might be my fear of drawing people. That’s why I draw hands a lot; it’s very hard for me to do, so I feel like I should do it as much as I can to EHFRPIRUWDEOHZLWKLW0D\EHVXEFRQVFLRXVO\DQLPDOVKDYHVSHFLDO meaning. I like drawing so many different variations of them because that’s probably the only thing that can make sense to me. Reyan: Where does your use of colors come from? Do you start out a work with the colors in mind, or do you get half done and then say, “This is what I want to put into it”? Richard: Sometimes I’ll think about the colors beforehand, but usually, I draw everything by hand, so it’s always black and white, and once I put it in the computer, I start choosing the colors. You’ll notice almost everything I’ve done has an opaqueness to it. There’s always white mixing in with the colors, never solid primary colors or anything. I just like designs that look kind of crazy, but kind of soft RQWKHH\HV,MXVWOLNHWKDWZHLUG¿QHEDODQFH,W¶VSLFNLQJWKHPDQG MXVWVORZO\DOWHULQJWKHPXQWLO,¿QGVRPHWKLQJWKDWORRNVJRRGRQP\ eyes and doesn’t make me want to gouge them out. more and I don’t feel like I need to work for eight hours. Today, I did Reyan: How many projects do you take on at a time and how much a logo for Harvest of Hope Foundation, I did part of another logo, and time in a day would you say you spend working on art? then I went and watched Wayne’s World. >/DXJKV@,VSHFL¿FDOO\SXW Richard: I’ve spent up to sixteen hours working. It all depends on Wayne’s World on. I was like, “I’m going to watch Wayne’s World. how soon a project needs to be turned in. The thing about being my This rules, I can do whatever the fuck I want.” own boss is I usually work every day, so I get to spread my work out Reyan: Do you personally feel more comfortable seeing your work up in a gallery or seeing it on a T-shirt or record sleeve? Where do you think your art is best viewed? Richard: It’s really gratifying to see it in a gallery, but, at the same I specifically put time, it makes me really nervous. I think the best thing ever is seeing a random kid walking in the mall or at a punk show or anywhere wearing one of my designs. The more random the place the better. I Wayne’s World just love that feeling—the person not knowing that I’m the guy behind the curtain. Reyan: Let me jump back to music for a second: You were part of on. I was like, “I’m 1HZ 0H[LFDQ 'LVDVWHU 6TXDG DQG ,¶YH KHDUG \RX EURNH XS :KDW happened there? Why’d you guys break up and is there any chance of you guys getting back together? going to watch Richard: The reason we broke up was because our old guitar player said if he played any more punk stuff he’d kill himself. No, I’m just kidding! [Laughs] Our guitar player was like, “Dude, I’m just so beyond broke I can’t go on tour anymore.” We used to have a lot of Wayne’s World. debt. We still have a lot. Our van just got repoed three months ago, so it was a big, mutual thing. I just felt really comfortable about this, and thought, “Let’s just close the book on this band. We’ve done it for This rules, I can eight years or nine years.” It’s sad for us because it’s such a big part of our lives, but it’s so much cooler to know that we can all leave and do whatever the just go hang out at the bar like best friends. fuck I want.” www.horsebitesdesign.com 75 TOP FIVES Designated Dale RAZORCAKE STAFF (Honorable mentions: The 5 Things to Wolf Down in Chitown 0HDVXUH>6$@One Chapter in the 3L]]DSXIIV GRQ¶WDVNMXVW¿QG Book LP; Hank III, Damn Right, 2. Gino’s East Pizza 3. Serious Tracers, live (best band Rebel Proud LP) 3. Portillo’s double-dipped beef in Austin) sangwich (yes, sangwich) with 4. The Young, Self-titled 7” Chris Pepus slathered mozzarella (Super Secret Records) • Are we in Chicago or 4. Garrett’s popcorn, cheese and caramel mix 'HDG0RRQHard Wired in something? D.O.A., Split Lip Adrian 5. Vienna Beef hot dogs, ‡0\:UHVWOLQJ(QWUDQFH7KHPH Ljubljan 2 x LP (I think it’s a 5D\¿HOGDQG6RXWKHUQ&XOWXUH reissue, but I just got it) On The Skids all come to St. commonly known to the rest of – Dicks, “Saturday Night at the the world as Chicago Dogs Bookstore” Louis in the span of two weeks Buttertooth ‡0D[LP*RUN\The Petty ‡0XVLFIRU0\&DUHIXOO\ Jeff Proctor Choreographed High Speed Car 1. Dianogah, Southern Records Bourgeois (play) (Thirteen years and still going ‡*DUUHW.HL]HU³2I0RKDZNV 1. Seeing old friends at Fest VII Chase – Herb Alpert, “A Taste of 2. Seeing old friends in San Honey” strong!) DQG0DYHULFNV´Harper’s 2. Banner Pilot, Resignation Day Magazine, December 2008 Francisco over Thanksgiving ‡$XUDO(TXLYDOHQWRI0\0HQWDO 3. Punk rock bowling is right State While Driving to Work 3. Insects Vs. Robots, live show • Brains (zine) at Soda Bar, San Diego CA. • Laserblast ¿OPMystery around the corner! Team LQWKH0RUQLQJ±.LOOLQJ-RNH Punkboard for the win! “Invocation” These kids rip it up and practice Science Theater 3000 version) contortion moves at the same time! 4. No Knife reunion in January ‡0\3HUVRQDO,GHDO&KHHV\ 5. RIP Willy Graves 1980-2008 %R\0HHWV*LUO6RQJ±3OXJ] /XQJ¿VKROG'LVFKRUGEDQG CT Terry I saw this band in ‘92, they are 1. Elzhi “The Preface” (Plot to Blow Up The Eiffel ³(OHFWULI\0H´ Tower, Dosage & Usage, etc.) • Soundtrack for a Breakdown greatly under appreciated and are 2. Gaslight Anthem ’59 Sound still around! 3. Jamie Ewing ±&RZV³0LGQLJKW&RZER\´ Jennifer Federico 860DSOHWKHLQWHUQHW,¶YH 4. Hate comics by Peter Bagge Top 5 Songs to Be Stuck to If You EHHQUHYLVLWLQJWKH0LGZHVWQRLVH 5. On The Lower Frequencies Albert Lam Have to Be Stuck to Something Top 5 Typefaces That Are Not bands of the ‘90s lately. These Scam Zine book by Erick Lyle guys played my basement once! 1. Pink Section, “Tour of China” Helvetica 2. Erase Errata, “Retreat, The • Futura Danny Martin Craven Rock Top 5 Documentaries... 0RVW)DPLOLDU([WHQVLYH,%HW´ • Avant Garde 3. Fuckwolf, “The Dream” • ITC Anna 5. Invisible Man, 1. Sherman’s March (1986) by Ralph Ellison (book) 2. Unforgivable Blackness (1985) 4. Les Savy Fav • Bauhaus “Hold on to You’r Genre” • Univers 4. Some Phantom/No Time Flat, 3. Who Killed The Electric Car? by Stephen Beachy (2006) 5. Dillinger Four, “Gainesville” Amy Adoyzie 3. The Gadabout Traveling Film 4. The Day After Trinity (1980) Festival 5. The Wobblies (1979) Jennifer Whiteford: Because This is a Music Fanzine 1. David (who always wants to After All 2. 16th 0LVVLRQRSHQPLF 1. The Shape of Things to Come, Daryl Gussin know why he doesn’t make my • “Shove It,” Santogold Top 5 lists, even though he is ‡³0RUQLQJV´-DSDQWKHU by *UHLO0DUFXV ERRN • Dillinger Four, Civil War LP • Shorebirds, It’s Gonna Get Ugly LP clearly great) ‡³7KUDVK8QUHDO´$JDLQVW0H 2. Holly Golightly and The • “Waiting for Something,” Cristy C. Road • Los Crudos, live in downtown LA Top Five Bands That Should Get ‡:D[0XVHXPV/3 Brokeoffs, Dirt Don’t Hurt CD Jay Reatard 3. Vancougar at Rock’n Roll Pizza • “Lapdog,” Bent Outta Shape Back Together • Statues, New People Make Me 1. Vanbuilderass Nervous /3 7KDQNV0DWW\ Party (live show) From This 0XVKXJDQDV 0LVV/XGHOOD%ODFN Art Ettinger Witness Stand LP • Shorebirds, It’s Gonna Get Ugly LP 7KH0HVVHQJHUV Dave Disorder 4. Boomfancy Favorite Bent Outta Shape Songs. 5. Library Voices at Zaphod • Pist, The, Beeblebrox (live show) Input Equals Output 2 x LP 5. Carnal Knowledge We’ll Miss You Jamie. (I truly appologize if any of the • “Stray Dog Town” ‡0'&3RWEHOO\ Jeremy J Zombie Love Split 7” members of the aforementioned • “Half Ass Heart” bands are dead or severly hate • “I Don’t Know” 1. QuicKeys! • Chris Clavin, The Roads Lead 2. Rivethead, Rivethead RQHDQRWKHUIRUYDOLGUHDVRQV • “Bleeding Streets” Everywhere LP (the one Todd lent me) • Squirtgun, Broadcast 02.09.08 LP • “Bent Outta Shape” Dave Williams 3. Dillinger Four, Civil War (Fat) Top 5 Records of 2008 Denise DePaolo 4. The Bananas, Ben Snakepit New Animals (Recess) LQQRSDUWLFXODURUGHU  1. Austin Lucas, Putting the 1. Dillinger Four, Civil War LP 0\&KDUOLH3DUNHU3DQGRUDVWDWLRQ (records with download cards are 1. Pinhead Gunpowder, Self-titled 7” Hammer Down CD 0DVVK\VWHULVår Del Av Stan LP 2. Eric Swanson, awesome) Jessica T 2. Lover!/LiveFastDie, split 7” 3. Off With Their Heads, From Franklin Avenue CD the Bottom LP 3. Tim Barry, Rivanna Junction CD 1. P. Paul Fenech, Skitzofenech CD (“Booger in my Asshole” is the 2. Izzy Cox, Love Letters from the best song EVER!) 4. Dillinger Four, Civil War LP 4. All of the Twilight books (piss 5. H2O, Nothing to Prove LP off, they’re good) Electric Chair CD 5. John Adams by David 3. Avett Brothers, songs “A Love 0F&XOORXJK ERRN Song to Jenny” and “Offering” 4. Art Fein Presents LA Rockabilly, CD (1983) 5. Cub Koda, That’s What I Like Mullett getting a About the South (1983) black eye during walnut ping pong. Jimmy Alvarado 2. Beauty Across AmericaE\0DUWKD bastard promise breaker, but I’ll • Neil Young, After the Gold Rush • Rest in peace, Dolemite, Rich & Esther Pearl Watson always remember you dancin’ • Can of Schlitz, shot of “ass 0LULDPDQG)RUU\+HURHVDOO 3. Hero Land #2 around the kitchen to Spanish juice”, and a Slim Jim… $5. each in their own way. by Esther Pearl Watson music blasting thru the walls and • Killing Joke, Live @ House of 4. Night of The Living Vidiots red wine stained teeth.” Ryan Leach Blues: The original lineup tore the by Andy Ristaino 1. The new Black Time record roof off the place and remain one 5. Jin & Jam no. 1 by Hellen Jo Mike Faloon 2. The new Hunches record RIWKH¿QHVWSXQNEDQGVHYHU 1. Boss Tweed, Five Little Lies 7KHQHZ0\VWHU\*LUOVUHFRUG • Creepy Archives Vol. 1, book: Kurt Morris CD EP (self-released) 4. Larry Hardy for putting out all )LUVW¿YHLVVXHVRIWKLVYHQHUDWHG 1. N.W.A., Straight Outta Compton 2. The Ergs, That’s It…Bye 12” EP of the above horror comic get reissued in 2. Reading books for grad school. 3. The Impulse Int’l, “The Real 5. Amy Adoyzie (Why? Just cuz…) hardbound and nice paper, so’s you So many books… .LG´EZ³7KH:RUOG+DWHV0H´´ can clearly see the awesome art. 3. Writing lots of papers 4. The Safes, Sight of All Light Ryan Horky • Chrome, The Chrome Box 3X 4. Dillinger Four, Civil War CD EP (O’Brothers) 1. Napalm Death, Time Waits for CD: Some of the greatest, trippiest, 5. Hitting the gym 5. So Cow, Commuting 7” EP No Slave (God bless internet leaks!) and rockin’ punk/psych noise ever. (Going Underground) 2. Cheap Girls, ‡%XVK¿QDOO\EHLQJVHQWKRPH Lauren Trout Find Me a Drink Home LP Allow me to extend this heartfelt Favorite CDs I Got at Fest Mike Frame 3. Die Kreuzen, Self-titled LP VLQJOH¿QJHUVDOXWHWR\RXDQG • Off With Their Heads, Hospitals 1. Funeral Shock, 7RGD\,V7KH'D\OLYHDW0DF¶V your faction of fellow fuckin’ • Lemuria, Get Better Paint Thinner 7”EP %DU/DQVLQJ0, louts as the lot of you leave. • Pink Razors, Waiting to Wash Up 2. Off With Their Heads, From 7KH0HDVXUH>6$@ • Ergs, Jersey’s Best Prancers the Bottom CD One Chapter In The Book LP Joe Evans III • Shinobu, :RUVWZDUG+R 3. Lucinda Williams, 5. Dillinger Four, Civil War CD Little Honey CD Sean Koepenick 4. Full Of Fancy/Screaming The Lord Kveldulfr 4. Figures Of Light, Smash Hits LP Top 5 Down By Law Songs Females, split 7” Five Artists and Songs That I 5. The Weight, Are Men LP ³4XHVWLRQ0DUNV 3HULRGV´ 7ULV0F&DOOThe Open Secret CD Would Pay Top Dollar to Hear 2. “Gruesome Gary” 7KH0HDVXUH>6$@Songs Covered by either Tom Waits or MP Johnson 3. “Bright Green Globe” About People… 12” Brian Setzer: • Fun Fun Fun Fest in Austin, TX 4. “The Last Brigade” 1. The Ergs! and Hunchback. ‡0LV¿WV³+ROO\ZRRG%DE\ORQ´ • GNR, Chinese Democracy CD 5. “Next to Go” Period. ‡7KH-HVWHUV³&DGLOODF0DQ´ • Dillinger Four, Civil War CD • Squirrel Nut Zippers, “The • Gingerdead Man 2 DVD Stevo Josh Benke Ghost of Stephen Foster” • Christina Aguilera, Keeps 1. Eddy Current Suppression Ring, 1. Thee Oh Sees, • Skulls, “Jesus Put a Bullet Getting Better CD Primary Colours Peanut Butter Oven 12”EP 7KURXJK0\6RXO´ 2. The Boys, Boys Only 2. Hunx and His Punx, both 7”s • Nostril?, “The Three B’s of Polka” Naked Rob (KSCU 103.3FM) 3. The Ethiopians, 3. Rock’N’Roll Adventure Kids, 1. Total Abuse, Total Abuse CD Original Reggae Hitsound LP Hillbilly Psychosis LP Maddy Tight Pants 2. Young Widows, Old Wounds CD 4. Sneaky Pinks, 4. Fast Cars, 0DUNHG0HQFortune 7” 3. Akimbo, Jersey Shores CD “Loner w/a Boner” 7” &RPLQJ«5HDG\RU1RW LP 2. France Gall, Poupée de Son CD 4. Git Some, Git Some CD 5. Loner with a Boner... ha! 5. Sonic Chicken 4, Midnight Girl 7” 3. Teenage Bottlerocket, 5. The Lords Of Altamont, Warning Device LP The Altamont Sin CD Todd Taylor Juan Espinosa 4. Paul Baribeau, Grand Ledge 10” • Shorebirds, It’s Gonna Get Ugly LP Top 5 Records That I Could Not 5. Bananas, New Animals CD Nick Toerner ‡'HDG0HFKDQLFDO Get Enough of in 2008 • The Ergs!, That’s It, Bye 12” Medium Noise LP 1. Eddy Current Suppression Matt Average ‡'HOD\0RQLNHUVVSOLW´ ‡0DUNHG0HQ Ring, Primary Colours LP 1. Nitad, Ibland Kan Inte • Pink Razors, Leave Alive 12” “Fortune” b/w “Like Robots” 7” 2. Dillinger Four, Civil War LP Hindra Sig Själv CD • Cheeky, • Dillinger Four, Civil War LP 3. Darvocets, Are New Wave LP 2. The Impulse Int’l, everything Art of the Underground #29 7” ‡0HDVXUH>6$@Songs about 4. Underground Railroad To 3. -16-, live at the Relax Bar ‡%H0\'RSSOHJDQJHU People… and Fruit n’Shit 12”EP Candyland, songs on Smallpool 4. Capitalist Casualties / Sonic Annihilation 7” • Shang-a-Lang CD that we made for Records 4 Way Split LP Hellnation, split CD the Razorcake HQ from all of their 7” 7LH0DUYHORXV'DUOLQJVI 5. Tristess, Hög & Låg Blues LP Rene Navarro tracks so we could listen to ‘em tip to Don’t Want to Go to the Party EP 1. Belle & Sebastian, The BBC tail without having to bribe an intern (Deranged) and Sinks, Beat Out Megan Pants: Sessions, double vinyl to play them all vinyl-ly. My Brains EP In Memory of Jamie Ewing, My 2. Tom Gabel, Heart Burns CD Top 5 Favorite Lyrics from Stray 3. Pg. 99 / City Of Caterpillar, 7” Ty Stranglehold Keith Rosson Dog Town, Which I Still Can’t 4. Jets To Brazil, Top Five “F” Bands: • The Taxpayers, live Listen to Perfecting Loneliness CD 1. Faction • Bright Shiny Morning by James 1. “There’s a certain way I feel, 5. Le Shok, 2. Forbidden Dimension Frey (novel) but I cannot never say to you, I We Are Electrocution 12” 3. Forgotten Rebels ‡0XOOHWWJHWWLQJDEODFNH\H could never say to you, but... it... 4. Fluf during walnut ping pong goes... like this...” Rev. Nørb 5. FYP • Hard Girls, demo CD-R 2. “Everybody I know found 1. Perfect Fits, Radio Transmitter 7” (Pteradon/Shinobu guys) themselves in the same mess. 2. Nerves, One Way Ticket LP Vincent Battilana • The yet-to-be released Pteradon Just a-lookin’ out the window 3. Speedies, Speedy Delivery LP • Shorebirds, It’s Gonna Get Ugly LP full-length wonderin’ where everybody went.” 0LGZHVW%HDW[´ • Gordon Gano’s Army, Self-titled LP 3. “If that was the last time I 5. Elephant Walk, Swim the Sea 7” • Vivian Girls, Self-titled LP Kiyoshi Nakazawa tasted innocence and winced, this • Dillinger Four, Civil War LP Top 5 zines Trades I Got at must be the backwash.” Rhythm Chicken ‡'HDG0HFKDQLFDO Alternative Press Expo 11/08 4. “We’re the patron saints of • Six Finger Satellite, Medium Noise LP 1. A Comic Bomb doin’ absolutely nothin’ ‘cept Machine Cuisine 10” by Luster Kaboom runnin’ our bodies in the ground” • Dillinger Four, Civil War 5. “Your mind’s made up. I’m a • Double Down Saloon (Las Vegas) time waster, rotten hearted asshole

77 ACTS OF SEDITION / SADVILLE: shit,” although i did consider it. Other Split: 7” EP than that, i dunno, i think this sounds Wow, Acts Of Sedition rip! They’re like what grunge used to sound like. GH¿QLWHO\ LQÀXHQFHG E\ EDQGV OLNH RECORD REVIEWS Wisconsin’s progressive reputation Tragedy, but are certainly no clone FRQWLQXHV XQDEDWHG BEST SONG: band. While Acts Of Sedition are “Tabula Rasa” BEST SONG TITLE: heavy and can hit hard with a good “Ed Gein,” of course! FANTASTIC riff, they’re also wise enough to write $0$=,1* 75,9,$ )$&7 /RRNV D songs that are tuneful and dynamic in lot like the Dwarves “Blood, Guts & movement. Perhaps it’s the Bay Area Pussy” album, but redder, and without LQÀXHQFHDVZHOO"(LWKHUZD\WZRUHDOO\ the midget. –Rev. Nørb (Zodiac Killer) good songs on here. On the other side, we have Sadville... Erm.... A bit of a BRAINWORMS / TUBERS: Split: 7” joykill after Acts Of Sedition. They dip Brainworms: Pretty Revolution their toe in black metal musically, but Summer-esque stuff. They provide lack the sinister darkness and ferocity. one original and a live cover of “For In the end, it’s an overindulgent mess. Want of” by Rights Of Spring, which ±0$YUJ ,QNEORW is my favorite ROS song. Their original ain’t bad, but it’s hard for AUTISTIC YOUTH / COLA FREAKS: me to recall what it sounds like after Split 7” listening to the cover. It’s emotional Autistic Youth: Brings up a hardcore like you want it to be when philosophical question I often think you hear that term; that much I can about when dealing with music. If remember. But their cover is where a band (The Observers) who were it’s at. I mean, c’mon, it’s a ROS amazing, broke up too soon (in my "Records are kind of like piñatas, if there is just one really song! Tubers: Kind of a lightweight estimation), how do I feel about a Hot Snakes. They aren’t as frantic, but band (Autistic Youth) who basically cool thing in there, then it was worth busting open." it doesn’t seem like that’s what they’re picked up the torch and ran down going for. It’s kind of like Hot Snakes another alley with it? It gets into an –Corinne with a dash of Fugazi—maybe my involved algorithm: 1.) How much Dillinger Four, Civil War mind was stuck on Guy Picciotto from time has passed? 2.) Is it a straight- the other side. Tubers also contribute up rip or did they come to similar a cover on their side. It’s of “Glad I conclusions independently? 3.) Does it Don’t Know” by the Lemonheads. It rock in and of itself beyond any itches :D[ 0XVHXPV DQG « 7KH %VLGH artwork with the band members riding GH¿QLWHO\GRHVQ¶WVRXQGOLNHWKHRWKHU it may scratch by being so familiar? tunes “Hey OK” and “Asshole with their respective dinosaurs is pretty songs on their side, but it beats the I’ll say this—Autistic Youth are on the Girl” sound like a ‘90s basement sweet, too. Nice work all around. –Jeff original version while not straying to something extremely powerful and show if Live Fast Die warped back to 3URFWRU 'XFN2Q0RQNH\ very far from it. Then again, I never well worth listening to and they just SF and split a bill with the Rip Offs. was too big on the Lemonheads (I happen to sound like the best of The The songs are exceptionally great and BORED STRAIGHT: Self-titled: 7” EP always confuse them with the Gin Observers (see issue #47 for what they over way too fast. Love this record. If throwback early ‘80s hardcore was Blossoms). –Vincent (Bakery Outlet / actually sound like). Cola Freaks: Their –Josh Benke (Boom Chick) an illness (and I’m sure some would Dead Tank / Rorschach) previous 7” sounded like Vicious-lite argue it is), then this Wisconsin quartet mixed with Knugen Faller-lite, but BEACH PATROL: Riding Dinosaurs: CD would be terminal. What makes Bored BREAD AND BOTTLE: something big clicked into place, and Beach Patrol is four dudes (three Straight stand out from any number Long Story Short: CD they take some of the sting out of all when this was recorded) from Green of bands playing this brand of punk? I feel like a hack referring to Bread And those great Swedish punk revival Bay who play big, fun, catchy power It doesn’t look like much. But! It %RWWOHDV³&KLFDJRSXQNURFN´0D\EH bands in the Ny Vag tradition that’ve pop/pop punk tunes. Riding Dinosaurs might be the fact they totally know it it’s because I’ve only been living here broken up left, right, and center. This captures all of the fun on this here DQG ÀDXQW LW ZLWK SULGH DOD DOOXVLRQV a year, so I really don’t know what that music heart’s still pumpin’ new blood aluminum disc, released on their to early ‘80s hardcore bands such as originally meant, and since there such no matter how many times it’s volleyed RZQ UHFRUG ODEHO 'XFN 2Q 0RQNH\ 'LH.UXH]HQDQG0LQRU7KUHDW(LWKHU a variety of sounds currently coming into another set of bodies. Great stuff Records. Taking obvious cues from way, it rips. –Daryl (Data Control) out from bands like The Arrivals, Sass all around. –Todd (Blackwater/Taken Elvis Costello and Big Star, Beach 'UDJRQV7RQJXHVDQG$90XUGHUWKDW By Surprise/Sabotage) Patrol sounds a lot to me like if the BRAINERD: Animal Mother: CD LWPDNHVLWKDUGWR¿QGDQ\WKLQJXQLI\LQJ %LOO\-RHOIURP³Pegboy and Raygun and The A-side, “All the Time,” is a IURQWHG WKH ,QÀXHQWV RQ WKHLU Check ORFDO PHVVDJH ERDUG ÀDPHMREEHU\ always associate with Chicago, just monstrous, reverbed arty-fact that Please record, and I mean that in the that i’m tempted to do it again, just with a bit more melody thrown in. It’s could have easily come from an best, most positive way possible. This for the sheer sport of it all. However, catchy as fuck and the dogs I walk are unknown ‘60s British band, which is good, real good. Clean, but crunchy the band has now cut their otherwise probably sick of me singing the parts surprised me after learning the JXLWDUV $Q HFKR\ PRRJ ÀLUWV LQ uninteresting White-Grungers-On- of “Roosevelt” I get stuck in my head pedigree of the members of the Bad and out of the songs and adds some Gein faux Sub-Pop shenanigans with on a daily basis (though not as sick as Sports and hearing the opening guitar pep. Drums rain down with crashing DIHZQHDWWULFNVOLNHEULHÀ\VRXQGLQJ I was hearing the Repellents covering hook. I thought it was going to be a cymbals, marching along to keep like a fucked up Joy Division ((the it once...yeesh!). They’ve got two of breezy, boozy, catchy tune in the vein your head bopping and toes tapping ¿UVW¿IW\VHFRQGVRI³-HVXV´ RUHYHQ the Brothers Scaccia, who throw loft of the Romance Novels, but what I got in perfect time, the way all great pop coming across as tangentially glammy shows in a city where house shows was buckets of big guitar, booming drummers should play (see Tommy ((“Tabula Rasa”)), thus i cannot don’t really exist and put out awesome bass, and tub-thumping drums. Not 5DPRQH.HLWK0RRQ*UDQW+DUWDQG dismiss this record outright just for stuff on Lucky Gator Records (they what I expected from members of the Patrick Wilson for reference). Plus, the the time-honored purpose of “starting co-released this with Johann’s Face, RAZORCAKE RECORD REVIEW • Are you really sending us a download card to review? •It is very important to put a postal address on each GUIDELINES AND FAQS Seriously? That's weak. Many of our contributors don't and every piece of music sent in. Many packages get have fancy computers. Nope, we won't review 'em. separated and given to different reviewers. • The address to send all review material is Razorcake, PO Box 42129, LA, CA 90042. You may address it to • You're sending us a CD-R of a piece of vinyl you're • Over five years of music reviews can be found at specific reviewers. Just make sure they're active. releasing to cut on costs? Please don't pull that stunt www.razorcake.org. Use our handy "search" function on with us. We know mail's expensive, but we send full the site to see if your music has been reviewed. Tight. copies of the zine as a thanks to all who send us • Full album art is required for a review. Pre-releases • Reviews may take six months. Be patient. We're bi- material to review (if your address is provided). go into the trash. Don't treat us like second-rate citi- monthly and have reviewers worldwide. zens. We're all volunteers here.

78

UXQE\0DUF5XYDORZKRVHEDQG'DV “screeeeeee!!!!!’, they blast you with Blockbuster Video DVD case. They that would have been impressive, as Kapital shares Ryan Scaccia on bass a full tilter. Undoubtedly a release that recycle! –Donofthedead (Dead Tank) that was one of my favorite albums of with Bread And Bottle. Yeah, it sort of ZLOOEHUHJDUGHGDVDFODVVLF±0$YUJ the last couple years. What they did, feels like San Pedro, and that’s always (Six Weeks / Sound Pollution) DEAD MECHANICAL: though, was build on their strengths to a good feeling). If you like catchy and Medium Noise: LP get even better with this EP and cross fun and dancing and guitar players who CHIP HANNA & THE BERLIN THREE: I know nothing of the band itself, so the the threshold from great to exciting. spin on one foot and drummer-singers Self-titled: CD following is completely hypothetical. Case in point, the dual lead vocals and pretty amazing bass playing, then An exciting, rousing Southern rock/ Contains members who have been in between Jack Dalrymple and Chicken you should probably buy this and invite cowpunk album from US Bombs’ previous bands of varying regional are a thing of beauty. The only other me over for a dance party. Well, except drummer Chip Hanna and members notoriety. The band’s a democracy of bands I can think of where two distinct I already have it and I’m not too keen of legendary German psychobilly sorts and the team leaders are older, voices compliment each other this well RQVWUDQJHUV±0HJDQ -RKDQQ¶V)DFH EDQG 0DG 6LQ 7KH PRVW SURPLVLQJ have settled into the idea that music is are X and Fugazi. The icing on the cake Lucky Gator, co-release) group my tired ears have heard in a great weapon against complacency, is that the band takes a page from the a long time. Well-balanced blend a torch to illuminate the next couple of book of Jeff Pezzati and sprinkles all CAPITALIST CASUALTIES / of traditional American music with steps, and a heart warmer, not a career the songs with unbelievably gorgeous HELLNATION: Split: CD enough speed and charisma to keep opportunity. They’re aware of Dillinger vocal harmonies, such as the middle Both bands have been around for toes tapping, heads nodding, and Four, Jawbreaker, and Toys That Kill, but section of “Ran That Scam.” The about one hundred years each, so listeners singing along. The product don’t want to sound anything like them. band has also tweaked their sound you’d think their golden years have of two simple ingredients: decades of They want to sound like who shows up and strengthened production values long passed. I don’t know what combined experience and true passion in the mirror in the morning. The person just a bit so as to introduce a bit happened, but that usually correct for American music. That’s all it ZKRZULWHVWKHO\ULFVUHDGVERRNV0DQ\ more variety in their songs than was logic has been turned upside down. takes. Really. –Jessica T (Acetate) books and probably has several zines previously present. For instance, there This is the best stuff yet from both under their belt. The following is not are dub parts in “Little Brother,” a bands. Seriously. The nine songs CIVILIZATION: Self-titled: CDR hypothetical: Medium Noise is a varied, vaguely dancey hi-hat in “Arrhythmic from Capitalist Casualties are fuggin’ What is it about Florida—or the exciting, well written, well recorded Palpitations,” and distinct tones that mindblowing. I sit here in awe staring South in general—that creates such album that’s the sum of lives closely really make the presence of multiple at my stereo. When you think it can’t dirge? There seems to be a dirty, examined. It’s mid-paced, melodic, and guitars apparent throughout the EP. get any better, the next song starts swampy edge bands get from down melancholic while giving the overall 'HDG 7R 0H LV SXOOLQJ RII WKH IHDW up, and it’s even more awe-inspiring that way. This two-piece guitar and feeling of Baltimore in the winter: the of getting to be a stronger, more than the last. They thrash like mad, drum combo, out of Jacksonville, rust, the caked-on ice, white puffs of polished band, but without losing but the time changes and mid-tempo Florida lays down some down-tuned breath, of a town living in the shadow of their edge or drive. When bands, parts only add more power to what aggression. Reminds me of the band much larger cities and deciding to stay such as The Clash or F.Y.P., manage is there. “Corporate Retreat” is the Black Cobra with their Sabbath-ish, and celebrate what it has to offer, which to mature and develop in such a short best example, and it’s also a catchy stoney riffs but with the punk energy took the better part of a decade to realize. space of time and do it right, it truly song. Hellnation come on with a RI +RO\ 0RXQWDLQ %URRGLQJ \HW A spot-on album. Highly recommended. LVDQDPD]LQJWKLQJ'HDG7R0HDUH vengeance. Full-on thrash with with a solid punch of energy at times –Todd (Toxic Pop) quickly proving themselves to be in some time changes to break up the to keep it interesting. The recording that league. The only bad thing I can onslaught of fast, fast, and faster. has a live feel to it. Would like to hear DEAD TO ME: Little Brother: CDEP VD\LVWKDWDW¿YHVRQJVWKLVLVRYHU “Bought & Sold” starts off sounding what comes out when they go all- ,I'HDG7R0HKDGSXWRXWVRPHWKLQJ far too quick. When’s the next full like a late ‘80s skaterock tune, then out in the studio. Cool use of a used merely as good as Cuban Ballerina, length?! –Adrian (Fat) DEADLY SINS: Selling Our throughout. I even noticed a reference what they believed in/When the seams familiarity of the formula is there, Weaknesses: CD WR %HHWKRYHQ¶V ³0RRQOLJKW 6RQDWD´ start to come apart/In this frustration but the new nuances that they have 0\ HVWHHP IRU WKLV UHFRUG FDQQRW as well. Very, very nice work, there, ZH ¿QG RXU VDOYDWLRQ´ 6RPHZKHUH incorporated in these new recordings properly be conveyed through mere DQG DV SHU XVXDO 0LFKDHO 5R]RQ¶V some kid is going to listen to those are what I seem to be focusing on, linguistic wanderings, so I shall production is also top tier. The Bad: words and get that feeling. You know instead of hearing them as whole attempt to convey my praise through Squandering all the above on Rancid- WKH IHHOLQJ ULJKW" 0D\EH LW¶V EHHQ D packages. Song four, that really isn’t interpretive dance. […] Another inspired psychobilly (yup, you read while since you’ve felt it, but you song four, is almost ballad-like with attempt at words: it sounds to me like that right) seems a bit of a waste. I’m know it. It’s the reason you listen its slow-driving rock sound interlaced what Ann Beretta would sound like really not trying to slag this off, ’cause to music. It’s that connection, that with a beachy feel that reminds me of ZLWKDIHPDOHYRFDOLVW0\WULJJHUKDV as it stands, this is notable work for the unexplainable energy that somehow the Pixies. That track is, so far, my been tripped. Thank you, Deadly Sins! genre in which they’ve decided to plant gets inside you, that feeling of warmth standout track. Overall, I need to keep Bwak bwak! –The Lord Kveldulfr their feet and it serves as a nice reminder when you realize that—no matter how this one in the pocket a little longer to 'XUW\0LFN of how diverse East L.A.’s punk scene much shit the world is pouring down see how high it gets in my “like” level. can be, but it just seems to me there on you—everything is really fucking –Donofthedead (Fat) DESTRUCTORS 666: are innumerable ways this could’ve all right. Does anything else matter *=HHAQO*=HAł?=NQIġ CDEP been a much more amazing piece of PRUHWKDQWKDW"±03-RKQVRQ )DW DILLINGER FOUR: Civil War: CD Apparently, this band has been around work from a band who hails from the And here comes this record, a record since the mid-1970s and gone through same neighborhoods that spawned DILLINGER FOUR: Civil War: CD that has so many people anticipating a lot of line-up changes. It looks Thee Undertakers, The Thrusters, Actually I didn’t get a CD but a for it to come out with such retardedly like they have only added the scary the need to have more listens to with arm-raising tunes show that these WRZDUG 0RUULFRQH¶V ZRUN VSULQNOHG gold can overload/When they’ve lost give it more time to grow on me. The dudes may be getting older but are in no way fucking around. This album is goes off in the basement and you run for their newest album, Civil War. It DILLINGER FOUR: Civil War: CD not better than their other albums and WRWKHVRXQGWKURXJKWKHÀDVKDQGWKH could be because I got it on CD so I’ve I’ll leave the technical analysis of this it’s not the best thing that came out smoke. For what? There is no what. been listening to it on headphones and album to the staff who will pick up on this year for me, but I respect it and No mission or duty or purpose, just outside the house (unlike vinyl), or it the nuances (so I don’t have to). I liked will continue to listen to it and warm this welcoming chaos in our lives we could be because it’s one of their best WKH¿UVW'DOEXPDORWEXWLWZDVUDZ up even more to each song every time I proudly call punk rock before it spits records; regardless, I’ve been listening angrier, and more accidentally poetic. push play. I, particularly, have warmed us out into a stream of recognizable to it nonstop for the past three days or The song titles were more academic up to the little ditty about summer in rhythms that guide us out again so that so. Catchy as hell, with great hooks and I was in a completely different October and I recommend that you do, when we stand at the frontier we have and lyrics (although I wish I had them place, emotionally and geographically. too. –Corinne (Fat) the strength to go in either direction. written out in front of me so that I could Bloated, extraordinarily poppy and Here’s another house collapsing; are check them all out properly). First song over-produced, I think I’ll scrub off DILLINGER FOUR: Civil War: CD you ready? –Jim (Fat) to get played multiple times in a row: with some Screeching Weasel. From Dillinger Four is my favorite band, “Gainesville.” Other standouts: “Ode to the bathroom, Tom yells, “It sounds so it’s going to be impossible for me DILLINGER FOUR: Civil War: CD the North American Snake Oil,” “The like an utterly generic, prep school to review this one without the bias of (YHU VLQFH P\ HDU ¿UVW FDXJKW Classical Arrangement,” “The Art of TV-show soundtrack for bubblegum history and familiarity. I think most “Doublewhiskeycokenoice,” I’ve Whore,” “Fruity Pebbles,” “Like Eye teenage vampire slayers.” ‘Nuff said. people reading this have heard at least loved Dillinger Four’s insightful Contact in an Elevator.” Clearly, I will –Jessica T (Fat) one of their albums, though, so we’re vitriol, but after six years without be going back to the other albums I have all in the same boat…right? Okay. This a new album, they seem to have and giving them a lot more attention. DILLINGER FOUR: Civil War: CD time, they deliver something a little eased up a bit on their frequently Love it. –Jennifer Federico (Fat) I’ve just been ear-raped with a pixie thinner and less immediate than their delayed new opus, which is more stick. –Craven Rock (Fat) past albums, but it is still very good than a little alarming. Sure, the long- DILLINGER FOUR: Civil War: CD stuff. The tracks are comfortable and awaited LP sports D4 hallmarks like I have spent the last six years waiting for DILLINGER FOUR: Civil War: CD familiar without sounding recycled, and songtitleswithnospaces and the odd a new Dillinger Four and Avail records. It’s strange that D4’s become such an while you don’t the soul-pummeling imagery, but the affair is considerably Thankfully, one of them has arrived important band to me after years of beatdown that you did with Versus God, softer than the band sounds at its best. and what a record it is! This is simply UHVLVWDQFHRQP\SDUW$W¿UVW,WKLQN you still get an enjoyable record with The increased amount of melody an incredible record and a welcome I had them confused with Dillinger some amazing songs. We’re all getting allows the songs to grow catchier, comeback for one of the best punk bands Escape Plan, so I’d never pick it up. older, including Dillinger Four, and EXW ZKHUH¶V WKDW LPSDVVLRQHG ¿UH of all time. I’ll be goddamned if I can Then, this rad dude Barney bought me it seems they’re aging pretty damned that rabid spite from the force behind name you my favorite songs because I the split with Pinhead Gunpowder. That well. –Will Kwiatkowski (Fat) “New Punk Fashions for the Spring do not have a photographic memory, but should’ve done the trick, right? Nope, Formal”? –Reyan Ali (Fat) WKLVWKLQJLVVROLGIURPVWDUWWR¿QLVK' probably never even listened to their DILLINGER FOUR: Civil War: CD continue to be, maybe, the only band I side. So when, years later, Todd Taylor Dillinger Four’s song titles have a DILLINGER FOUR: Civil War: CD have ever heard who utilize sound clips forced Midwestern Songs on me, all I way of making you think you’re not I have a couple of records by Dillinger in a non-annoying fashion. I hate the heard was a bunch of samples and other thinking enough; yet the songs open Four that I like, but I’ve never been fuckin’ things, but, somehow, this band hoo ha in between the songs. But then, you up to messages you’ve been an absolutely huge fan. Like ‘em, really makes them work. Great record, again due to Todd since I borrowed his waiting your whole life to receive. especially certain songs, but they great songs, great production, and worth truck for a few days and it was the only 0D\EH WKDW¶V ZKDW QRVWDOJLD LV WKH never blew me away or anything. That the six year wait. What’s up now, Avail? CD in there, I listened to it. Over and creep of lost knowledge. The dynamite said, I have nothing but rave reviews ±0LNH)UDPH )DW over and over. And at somewhere close to the halfway point of those seventy- played together a bunch of times, i’ve of that song about the girl who was no that would damage my ability to two hours or so, it just clicked. I never drank with them a bunch of times, longer straight edge ((which is, for the remember what the hell went on prior had a mild like in between. Disdain partied with ‘em a bunch of times, record, “she’s lost her right to pledge to that particular musical event; me, to enamored and instantly hungry for lent gear to them a bunch of times, the edge,” and no, i’m not making this i would have instead opted to say “it more, listening to everything I could borrowed gear from them a bunch of up)) and maybe a few bars about the seems like summer in October” about ¿QG7KH\DUHSUHWW\PXFKHYHU\WKLQJ times, spilled drinks on the gear i’ve song about living in a SuperAmerica™ twenty or thirty more times, just to I believe in, to state it simply. Talk to borrowed from them a bunch of times for good measure. I mean, i saw the drive the point home that it, in fact, any of them one night and it will be and had drinks spilled on the gear i’ve Krishnaz once or maybe twice, and i seems like summer in October. The the dumbest conversation about what lent to them a bunch of times. One can still remember a part of a song— second song sounds a bit like D4’s a fart can tell you about a person, but could say that my exposure to D4 has i’ve seen D4 a good dozen times, and i Twin Cities mod counterparts, The then the next night, the conversation been, shall we say, “reasonably ample.” can’t remember a god damn note they Strike, but i don’t have a track listing is just as likely to leave me walking Now, here’s the weird thing: If you played. Now, that is not to say that and i can’t tell what the song is called, away with a list of things I need to read pressed the cold steel muzzle of a fully the Krishnaz are/were a better band so i’ll never remember it ((although it because I just felt like a moron. They loaded Walther PPK semiautomatic than D4, ‘cause they weren’t, but it’s does have another one of those wacky understand that balance of smart and pistol against my temple and told me just frickin’ WEIRD that i should be EUHDNGRZQV WKDW L PRUH RU OHVV ÀDW funny, of fun and anger, of knowing that the only way to save myself from so reasonably well-acquainted with out hate)). I’ll call it the “break your ZKDW EDWWOHV DUH ZRUWK ¿JKWLQJ , perishing at your hand was to hum, their music, yet still fail to remember fucking halo” song. The third song mean, shit, my dad called me one day sing, recite, quote, or otherwise convey a friggin’ second of it. When people is apparently called something like after reading an interview with them a brief portion of the essence of a D4 ask me what D4 sound like, i usually ³'LV$PHULFDQ0H´DQGVRXQGVVRUW WR WHOO PH WKDW KH ¿QDOO\ XQGHUVWRRG song—any D4 song—then you, sir, MXVWWHOOWKHP³DPQHVLD´0D\EHZKHQ of like Screeching Weasel with an old, my life, and I thought that was pretty would be mopping my brains up off Pat gets naked, my mind just deletes drunken priest on lead vocals. I would fucking perfect. So, given their place the wall and buying lime for a hastily all related memories as some manner kind of remember this song, except rooted so deeply in this bum ticker of improvised grave, because, even after of preventative health measure, i for the unfortunate scheduling event mine, I’ve been waiting for this album my self-reported “reasonably ample” dunno. In any event, “Summer in whereby it happens to be coming out since Situationist:KHQWKH¿UVWWUDFN exposure to D4, i could not hum, sing October” is a decent enough opening right when we marginalized Yankee came on, I swore it was Jawbreaker. RU RWKHUZLVH FURRQ ¿YH VHFRQGV RI WUDFN LW VRXQGV OLNH WRSWLHU 0XWDQW weirdos feel the least like being Dis- It’s nothing against Jawbreaker; I any of their songs. Don’t remember Pop™ bands like the Connie Dungs Americanized as we’ve felt in the downright adore some of it, but it’s any of ‘em. Don’t remember a PART IRU WKH ¿UVW WZR PLQXWHV WKHQ JRHV last quarter-century or so. Song four just not right here. It’s the recording. of any of ‘em. I’ve seen Dillinger 4 a into kind of an extended, minute-plus is like a power ballad or something. It’s just too clean for me. The songs SHIT ton of times, and i couldn’t tell breakdown, then comes out of the 7KH ¿IWK VRQJ LV DERXW FDQQRQEDOOV are solid and growing on me, and live you what one song of theirs sounds breakdown playing at half the speed, and the sixth song is fast. The seventh they’re awesome, but it’s taking some like ((i could, however, recite a few essentially ignoring the catchy ((dare song sounds like the Riverdales with time. I want it to be a bit uglier and of their great song titles off the top of i say “memorable?”)) chorus for the the same drunken priest on vocals. raw, but, I’m sure as I did initially, I’ll my head—“The Television Will Not last three-sevenths of the song and The eighth song is some sort of near- FRPHDURXQG±0HJDQ )DW Be Revolutionized” being a personal sounding kinda like those “punk” anthem, except i have no idea where favorite)). Contrast this with Bill’s bands one hears over the radio at Taco or what the chorus is. “Paralyzed DILLINGER FOUR: Civil War: CD pre-D4 ((and i think even pre-Scooby Bell™, minus the whole singing-thru- From the Neck Up” sounds like mall- Living one state over from these guys, Don’t)) Blatant Queers rip off band, the the-nose bit. The whole “completely punk’s un-evil twin, as does the tenth i can say that i’ve not only seen them Krishnaz—whom i’d only seen once switch up the song at the two minute song, but that one’s about cigarettes a bunch of times, but our bands have or twice, but can still sing the last line mark” is the EXACT type of thing or something. I have no idea what the eleventh song sounds like, but it has FACT: Pat lived in nearby De Pere in this one-horse town thinks when I either on par with or not far behind some weird breakdown where the for one semester and attended St. EODVW WKLV &' RQ IXOO YROXPH DW ¿YH Versus God. However, this isn’t your chorus should be. The twelfth song Norbert’s College. –Rev. Nørb (Fat) $0ZKHQ,ZDNHXSWRPLONWKHFRZV average Dillinger Four record here. sounds kinda like “The Noose Was –Lauren Trout (Fat) The most noticeable change is that the Tight” by the Figgs, but not really. DILLINGER FOUR: Civil War: CD “wall of noise” that they were known The guitar seems to be mocking Never listened to Dillinger Four DILLINGER FOUR: Civil War: CD for has been replaced with cleaner me personally. Don’t think i’m not before because my friend heard them Six years in the making, this is one production. However, the record WDNLQJ QRWHV RQ WKLV LQVXERUGLQDWLRQ at some barn party and he mentioned of D4’s best albums. They continue still has just as many hooks and just “Pretty Little Casualties” is a that you, “Can’t even square dance their lyrical onslaught of American as much bite as any record before it. rousing, album-closing, priest-led to their music,” so I blew them off. culture with honest, fatalistic lyrics Credit is due to the artwork as well. It’s stomp, with another one of those But, whatever, that guy’s an asshole, matched to galloping guitar rhythms hard to appreciate it when looking at stupid breakdowns gumming up the and this CD came to me with an and solid drum work. Some of my the CD cover, but the LP sleeve shows works, though said gumminess is enthusiastic recommendation from IDYRULWHV DUH ³0LQLPXP :DJH LV how much went into creating this (yes, mercifully brief. After deep, post- 7RGG7D\ORU'H¿QLWHO\,WUXVW7RGG¶V a Gateway Drug,” “The Classical the penguins really were painted right album introspection, i’ve come to taste in music because I went to Fest Arrangement,” and “A Pyre Laid RQWRWKHÀDJ 7KLVLVJHWWLQJWREHD the conclusion that the disconnect i this year never having heard more than for Image and Frame.” Inspirational, rather long-winded review, especially feel with D4’s music stems from the four of the bands that were playing, so comforting, kick-ass tunes. as far as my style goes, so I’m going IDFW WKDW L JHQHUDOO\ FDQ¶W ¿JXUH RXW I just went by who had been featured Recommended. –Kristen K (Fat) to wrap this up. The music world in what or where their choruses are, or in Razorcake, and I heard more great 2008 was a place of violent ups and if their songs even have choruses. music that weekend than I had found DILLINGER FOUR: Civil War: CD downs, but when the needle plunked Throw in a few breakdowns and by myself in years. Listening to Civil 6R WKLV LV LW ,W¶V ¿QDOO\ KHUH ,W¶V GRZQ RQWR WKLV IRU WKH ¿UVW WLPH , tempo-switches and i’m completely War adds to that credibility in my been six long years since Situationist knew everything would be alright. lost, like i came in in the middle of mind, because this CD has quickly Comedy came out (well, honestly, I’ve Dave Dillon (Fat) a movie, sat through a bunch of acts, found a place in my heart and the only been waiting for a new record then left, and it was still the middle, rotation on my CD player. The urgent for maybe three of those years. I was DILLINGER FOUR: Civil War: CD although by and large i was enjoying feeling of this album is what makes not quite yet twelve when Situationist The early Dillinger Four EPs never WKH¿OP0\VXJJHVWLRQLVWRHOLPLQDWH listening to it exciting: the music Comedy came about, and I was still stood out for me. I had no strong the breakdowns, append “Yeah Yeah is driving and the vocals are raspy listening to Pennywise records), and feelings about the band either way Yeah” or similar mnemonic device to and almost whispered, so it’s like QRZZHFDQ¿QDOO\EUHDWKHDV\,ZRXOG XQWLO,OLYHGLQVKLWW\0DGLVRQ:,IRU the ends of all song titles, and insert the singer has to hold back or he’ll like to think that roughly two months three years from 1998-2001. I traveled choruses consisting of nothing but fucking explode. And then reading after this has come out, I’m over the DORWWR&KLFDJRDQG0LOZDXNHHGXULQJ the song title repeated some power of through the lyrics and seeing the depth H[FLWHPHQWRI¿UVWKHDULQJLWDQGFDQ P\ WLPH LQ 0DGLVRQ IRU VKRZV EXW two times, e.g., “Paralyzed From The of these perfect, catchy three-minute now do a hype-free review. I had no FHUWDLQUHJLRQDOEDQGVSOD\HG0DGLVRQ 1HFN8S

CONTACT ADDRESSES to bands and labels that were reviewed either in the next in this couple issue months. or to be posted on www.razorcake.org • 1912, 9991 N. Woodstone Trail, Dirtnap, 2614 SE Clinton St., MFT, 6332 Guilford Ave., Suite Sound Pollution, PO Box Tucson, AZ 85742 Portland, OR 97202 208, Indianapolis, IN 46220 17742, Covington, KY 41017 • 608 Kisses, PO Box 781, Don Giovanni, PO Box 628, Mint, PO Box 3613, Vancouver, Southern Lord, PO Box La Crosse, WI 54601 Kingston, NJ 08528 BC, V6B 3Y6, Canada 291967, LA, CA 90029 • A.D.D., PO Box 8240, Duck On Monkey, 968 Lakeview Monkey Wrench, 2491 Southkore, 2814 Spaulding, Tampa, FL 33674 Dr., Green Bay, WI 54313 Stoney Garden Rd., Chicago, IL 60623 • Acetate, PO Box 412605, Durty Mick, 19106 S. Normandie Kintersville, PA 18930 Speed Nebraska, PO Box LA, CA 90041 Ave., #311, Torrance, CA 90502 Moonlee.ULåHYQLãND 271027, Ralston, NE 68127 th • Adagio0DUFKOHZVNL End Of The West, 1208 E. 17 1000 Ljubljana, Slovenia Steel Cage, PO Box 29247, Strasse, 10243 Berlin, Germany St., The Dalles, OR 97058 Mud Memory0RQURH6W Philadelphia, PA 19125 • Alien Snatch0|ULNHZHJ End Sounds, PO Box 684743, NW, Washington, DC 20010 Stubborn, PO Box 5186, New 99 Utergruppenbach, Germany Austin, TX 78768 Mutant Pop, 5010 NW Shasta, Brunswick, NJ 08903-5168 • Alternative Tentacles, PO Box Exigent, PO Box 24, Corvallis, OR 97330 Stumble, 57 Leaside Dr., St 419092, SF, CA 94141-9092 Kaysville, UT 84037 Nickel & Dime, PO Box Catharines, ON, • Anti-Corporate Music, Inc., PO Exo, PO Box 1365, Collingwood, 555712, LA, CA 90055 &DQDGD/0* Box 190339, Nashville, TN 37219 Victoria, Australia 3066 No Front Teeth, PO Box 27070, Sudden Death, Cascades • Arkam, 1925 Hwy. 69 S., F.I.M.P., 610 Phillip Ave., London N2 9ZP, England PO Box 43001, Burnaby, BC, Savannah, GA 38372 Akron, OH 44305 No Idea, PO Box 14636, Canada V6G 3H0 Fashionable Idiots, PO Box Gainesville, FL 32604 Super Secret, PO Box 1585, • Australian Cattle God, 1306 E. Nothing But A Nightmare, Austin, TX 78767 6th St., Austin, TX 78702 0LQQHDSROLV01 Fat, PO Box 193690, SF, CA 94119 12862 Joy St., Suite D, Surrender, PO Box 301, • Autistic Youth, 1930 SW 13th FDH0RQWURVH6W Garden Grove, CA 92840 Berkeley, CA 94701 Ave., PDX, OR 97201 Philadelphia, PA 19146 Nuclear War Now!, PO Box Sweet Rot, PO Box • Bachelor, 5421 Adnet 186 Austria Felony Fidelity, 7135 SE 7055, Redwood City, CA 94063 78025, Vancouver, BC, • Bakery Outlet, PO Box 4054, Woodward St., Portland, OR 97206 Overground, PO Box 1NW, V5N 5W1 Canada St. Augustine, FL 32085 Feral Kid, 379 Ontario St., Newcastle-upon-Tyne, Sweet Tooth, 1741 30th St., • Big Neck, PO Box 8144, Buffalo, NY 14207 NE99 1NW San Diego, CA 92102 Reston, VA 20195 Frantic City, 31 rue A. Barine, Pee32%R[0DUGHQ Tankcrimes, PO Box 3495, • Blackwater, PO Box 5223, 17000 La Rochelle, France South Australia 5070 Oakland, CA 94609 Portland, OR 97208 Gearhead, PO Box 1386, Poison City, PO Box 409, Tee Pee, 30-98 Crescent St., • Boom Chick, 6405 Woodland, CA 95776 Northcote, VIC, Australia 3070 Apt. A1, Astoria, NY 11102 0RUULOO$YH/LQFROQ1( Grunnen Rocks, PO Box 6058, Punk n Junk, 3231 Business Teenage Teardrops, 1213 • Bridge 9, 119 Foster St., Blding. 4 9702 HB Groningen, Park Dr., Suite C-309 Bellevue Ave., LA, CA 90026 6WH3HDERG\0$ The Netherlands Vista , CA 92081 Television, PO Box 531, • Brisk Range Rejects, 9240 Hardly Art, PO Box 2007, Ransom, PO Box 6052, San Luis Obispo, CA 93406 5LYHUV5G7RZHU01 Seattle, WA 98111 HB, CA 92615 Thrillhouse, PO Box 460207, • Burn Bridges, 2981 Falls Rd., Haunted Town, 3057 N. Relax-O-Matic Vibrator, 13 Rue SF, CA 94146 %DOWLPRUH0' Rockwell St., Chicago, IL 60618 7HUUXVVH0DUVHLOOH)UDQFH Toxic Pop, 2981 Falls Rd., • Burning Tree, 10153 ½ Heart First, Landsberger str. 146, Repulsion, 2552 N. Booth St., %DOWLPRUH0' Riverside Dr., Ste. 247, G0QFKHQ*HUPDQ\ 0LOZDXNHH:, TurborockUXH0DXULFH Hollywood, CA 91602 Hockey Dad, 4150 Brant St., Rob’s House, 1318 Ormewood Dutacq 14000 Caen France • C6, 117 Roebling St. #1R, Vancouver, BC, V5N 5B4, Canada Ave. SE, Atlanta, GA 30316 UFO Dictator, PO Box 19083, Brooklyn, NY 11211 ,Q¿QLW\&DW, PO Box 50623, Rockstar, Kurbrunnenstrasse 32 .DODPD]RR0, • Cabana One, 3231 Business Park Nashville, TN 37205 – 36, 52066 Aachen, Germany Underground Communique, Dr. Ste C-309, Vista, CA 92081 It’s Alive, 11411 Hewes St., Rodent Popsicle, PO Box 1143, PO Box 14334, Chicago, IL 60614 • Carrot Top, 935 W. Chestnut, Orange, CA 92869 $OOVWRQ0$ Vegas, 11, chemin de Turtelle, F- Ste. LL15, Chicago, IL 60622 Jailhouse, 2807 Bending Oak Dr., Rorschach, PO Box 14712, 31140 Pechbonnieu, France • Cherry Red, Unit 3A, Long Hampton, VA 23666 Richmond, VA 23221 Wäntage USA, PO Box 8681, Island House, Warple Way, Johann’s Face, PO Box 479164, Rubber Molding c/o Adam 0LVVRXOD07 London W3 0RG, England Chicago, IL 60647 Finchler, 5 Caty Ct., Whoa Oh, 21-36 43rd St., • Chocolate Covered, 559 Parist Joyful Noise, PO Box 20109, Holmdel, NJ 07333 3rd Fl., Astoria, NY 11105 St., SF, CA 94115 Indianapolis, IN 46220 Rumbletowne, PO Box 663, Wizard Mountain, 132 Blake • Criminal IQ, 3057 N. Rockwell Kicking, 166 grande rue Saint- Olympia, WA 98507 St., SF, CA 94117 2nd Fl., Chicago, IL 60618 0LFKHO7RXORXVH)UDQFH Screaming Crow, 4407 Bowes Wolverine, Im Huckinger Kamp • Dali’s Llama, PO Box 3118, Kiss Of Death, PO Box 75550, $YH:HVW0LIÀLQ3$ 43a, 47259 Duisburg, Germany Palm Springs, CA 92263 Tampa, FL 33675 Shake Your Ass, Giuseppe De Wood Shampoo, PO Box 27801, • Data Control, 4388 S. Pine Kranium c/o Frisk, Tranebergs 0DWWHLV9LD*&DUGXFFL Las Vegas, NV 89126 $YH0LOZDXNHH:, Strand 33, 16740 Bromma, Sweden *RUJRQ]ROD 0, ,WDO\ World, PO Box 280537, • Dead Tank, PO Box 61681, Let’s Pretend, PO Box 1663, Sick Room, PO Box 47830, Northridge, CA 91328 Jacksonville, FL 32236 Bloomington, IN 47402 Chicago, IL 60647 Wrecked ‘Em, PO Box 240701, Lifeline, PO Box 692, Six Weeks, 225 Lincoln Ave., • Deep Six, PO Box 6911, 0HPSKLV71 Cotati, CA 94931 Wrong, PO Box 59, London N22 Burbank, CA 91510 0LGORWKLDQ,/ Longshot, 980 Harrison St., Slow Gold Zebra, PO Box 1AR, England • Deranged, 2700 Lower Rd., SF, CA 94107 20506, Tompkins Square Yakisakana Reds, 51 rue Roberts Creek, BC, Loves In Heat, PO Box 8005, Station, NY 10009 Renaudel, 76 100 Rouen, France V0N 2W4, Canada Santa Cruz, CA 95061 Slumberland, PO Box 19029, Zodiac Killer, 1733 Iron • Destroy All Hipsters, 18 NW th Lucky Gator10LOZDXNHH Oakland CA, 94619 0RXQWDLQ5G&KH\HQQH 7 Terr., Gainesville, FL 32601 Ave., Chicago, IL 60622 Snuffy Smiles, 12-A WY 82009 • Devil’s Ruin, PO Box 453, Malleable, 3321 Spring Garden Kamikousaicho, Schichiku Kita- Leo, IN 46765 St., Philadelphia, PA 19104 Ku Kyoto 603-8117, Japan “Kids writing zines about their local REVIEWSZINE scenes should take note, because these Send all zines for review to: Razorcake, guys are doing PO Box 42129, LA, CA. Please include a postal it right. ” address (that’s how we trade), –Lauren Trout the number of pages, the price, The Rise and the Fall#11 and whether or not you accept trades.

ABANDON CITY #1-4, instance, the author assuming that all the best possible ways. –The GLUEWAVE #1, $?, $2 or trade, 5 ½” x 8 ½” 23 pgs. he has to explain what capitalism is Lord Kveldulfr (PO Box 1174, 5½” x 8½”, printed, 24pgs. $UDG',<FRPLFRXWRI0LOZDXNHH to the reader.) He also assumes the Tallahassee, FL 32302-1174) Other than half this issue being by dudes in bands from there that reader is an anarchist (quote: “we coverage of or ads for some band you’ve probably heard of. I could [the anarchists]”), so, maybe, he isn’t FEEDBACK, 5 ½” x 7”, called Blank Dogs, this is a totally swear at least one of them was doing being condescending (since being photocopied, 16 pgs. random fanzine with bad show stuff for Love in the Time of Scabies an anarchist is the sublimest state of I just received a zine in the mail reviews and crappy pictures. The as well, but all my shit’s a mess EHLQJ ,¶PWU\LQJWR¿JXUHRXWLI,¶P in trade for mine. It was all show music featured in it, however, is really right now so I can’t check for sure. more offended by being mistaken reviews. I sent my zine back in good. Punk-drone L.A.-style, like the The story here is about a group of for an anarchist or taken for an idiot. return, but had to honestly say times seem to be talking these days. punks who wake up one morning to Nothing in here is well thought out or that I don’t like show reviews, so I Go Houston. –Andrew Flanagan discover they’re the only survivors even remotely enlightening. Avoid. couldn’t get into the zine. However, (Phonographic Arts, 1601 Castle Ct. left in the city. And, of course, what –Craven Rock (Luke Romano. PO Feedback is an exception to that rule #6, Houston, TX 77006) ZRXOGDQ\SXQNLQ0LOZDXNHHGRLQD Box 2748, Tucson, AZ 85702) because it’s a comic. Yes, all it takes situation like that? Get really fucking to make show reviews interesting is GO METRIC #22, $4, drunk. It’s a cool little punk rock twist EAR DAMAGE #32, $3, some illustrations and the text being 8 ½” x 11”, offset, 84 pgs. RQ D VFL¿ VWRU\ WKRXJK , KRSH WR photocopied, 5½” x 8½”, 72pgs FXWGRZQHQRXJKWR¿WLQIRXUSDQHOV This reminds me of Razorcake. Rock VHHWKHVFL¿HOHPHQWVJHWSOD\HGXS What separates Ear Damage from But what’s harder to pin down is not and punk are at the heart, but there’s more. And the art is pretty great. But other similarly themed zines is why I like this zine, but why I like something more going on. The writers don’t take my word for it! –Joe Evans its quality writing. It hails from it a lot. There’s John’s dry sense of want to share with you something ,,, 0DUNDQG6WHYH1%RRWK Alabama and is primarily a music KXPRU0D\EHWKDW¶VLW2UPD\EHLW¶V they’re stoked on, like the Kiko album 6W0LOZDXNHH:,P\VSDFH zine, with some political ramblings the lively, whimsical, unjaded take from Los Lobos, for example. There com/dudemancomics) DERXW WKH 2EDPD0F&DLQ HOHFWLRQ on things that seems rare for a guy in are articles on the C-86 movement, thrown in for good measure. There KLVWKLUWLHV0D\EHLW¶VKLVREVHUYDQW a track-by-track critique of The ASKEW REVIEWS #13, $3, are reviews, columns, a sad tribute eye, what it takes in, and how it Wrestling AlbumVKRUW¿FWLRQSLHFHV 8” x 10 ½”, newsprint, 48 pgs. to a deceased member of the local translates to text and illustration. DQGFROXPQV7KHLQWHUYLHZZLWK0DO A zine dedicated to reviews… so what scene, an interview with Electronic Whatever it is, Feedback takes on a Sharpe is interesting as well. Plus, you’re reading now is a review of a 6XONLQJ0DFKLQHDQGDQDUWLFOHDERXW mundane topic and transforms it into how can you not want to read articles zine dedicated to reviews. That seems rifts between artists and labels. The an immensely readable and over- OLNH0DGG\7LJKWSDQWV¶³%DWWOH2I7KH strange, like someone reviewing an writing is informal, but compelling. too-quick zine/comic. –Craven Rock Bands” (Shangri-las vs. The Devil episode of Siskel & Ebert. Oh well. Plus, there are recommendations of (www.unlay.com) 'RJV  RU 0LNH )DORRQ¶V ³3ODVWLF Once you read it, you realize that 0RELOH $/ EDQGV WKDW PLJKW QRW 0DQ YV 0U )DQWDVWLF´" ±0$YUJ the “Reviews” part of the title could PDNHLWWRUHDGHUVRWKHUZLVH0\RQO\ FISH WITH LEGS #12, $2, (801 Eagles Ridge Rd., Brewster, NY probably be dropped, as there is a gripe is that a zine this short shouldn’t 5 ½” x 8 ½”, photocopied, 36 pgs. 10509, gometric.typepad.com) fair amount of non-review content. review every recent release from This issue of FWL is all about Eric’s But, hey, it’s his choice. DVD each of its advertisers. The layout is being called to do jury duty. Now GO METRIC #22, (lots), comic, and music reviews, pleasant. No one will get eye damage I can’t possibly think of anyone 8 ½” x 12”, newsprint, 77 pgs. and a couple articles, to boot. –Will from Ear Damage. –Art Ettinger (Ear that I’d rather hear a narrative of Go Metric is a really packed zine. Kwiatkowski (Askew Reviews, PO 'DPDJH 32 %R[  0RELOH jury duty more from than this guy. There’s all kinds of stuff in here. %R[+DQRYHU0$ AL, myspace.com/eardamage) His eccentric, snarky outlook is Kickass rock journalism covering one so fucking hilarious. If you’re a end of rock‘n’roll to the other. From CRACKS IN THE CONCRETE FAKE LIFE #8, $2 or trade, ]LQH UHDGHU \RX VKRXOG GH¿QLWHO\ 0HUVH\EHDW WR ,URQ 0DLGHQ )URP #9, free, trade or donation, 8 ½” x 7”, photocopied not pass up such an opportunity. /RV /RERV WR 0DGG\ 7LJKWSDQWV quarter-size, photocopied, 38 pgs. Fake Life has improved somewhat There are also some little thoughts squaring off the Devil Dogs against “Inside you will read of: the madness since the last time I read an issue on libraries, riding the bus, and the the Shrangi-La’s to see who rocks of war, the sham of government, for review. Standard punk zine fare ever-popular “Fun Facts.” FWL more (you’ll just have to read it). sickening power relations, self-esteem for the most part, but in this, the UHPDLQVVRPHZKHUHLQP\WRS¿YH 7KHQ WKHUH¶V VRPH ¿FWLRQ VRPH and religion, the case for a revolution ¿UVW DQQLYHUVDU\ LVVXH WKH WRSLFDO of current zines going, and my humor pieces, some comics, a review and our vision for a truly free society.” focus is almost entirely on poop favorite of the funny zine genre. of pro wrestler rock album, some This, according to the author, is what and pooping in an effort “to do If you like stuff like Tight Pants, writing on ziners’ obscure pop culture \RX ZLOO ¿QG LQ KHUH , KRZHYHU something special” for the reader. you’ll like this. Actually, those two obsessions, and movie reviews. Even RQO\ VHHPHG WR ¿QG KDOIDVVHG There’s also a good amount of space should have a zine-off. –Craven the stuff that I didn’t like, I liked. – simplistic essays, the black or white devoted to other potentially yucky 5RFN (ULF /\GHQ  0RUDLQH &UDYHQ5RFN *R0HWULF(DJOHV moralistic thought that goes with any regions of human anatomy in case 6W %URFNWRQ 0$  Ridge Road, Brewster, NY 10509, true believing “ist,” and insulting, you get tired of poop. I like Fake HULF¿VKZLWKOHJV#DROFRP  [email protected]) condescending down-talking. (For Life. It’s absolutely amateurish in JESUS CHRIST SUPER ZINE! #1 pain, stress, and hardship into some NO CONVERSATION #1, Underground Railroad to Candyland, $2, 5 ½” x 8 ½”, photocopied, 40 pgs. rad comics that—even though stamps or trade, photocopied, and Toys That Kill—to stir up some Jesus Christ Super Zine would be are a little tough on the eyes—are 5 ½” x 8 ½”, 28 pgs. excitement. Highlights of this issue best described as an ex-evangelical extremely relatable. The downside Stories from Dean’s durian-fueled are the pictures of kids skateboarding Christian zine. It’s the restraint in is that, at some points, it becomes visit to the Indonesian island of at the local park and the interview Ariel’s stories of her youth and so illegible that I can’t make out the Sumatra. The writing’s got this with The Locust. –Lauren Trout (The childhood in the church that makes story line. But I quickly remedy that academic remove, where he tells Rise and the Fall, PO Box 1794, San them so well written. As an ex- E\PDNLQJXSP\RZQ0\IDYRULWH you what happened, and lets that Pedro, CA 90733) Christian, it’s clear that she has strong part about this is that it is refreshing to paint a picture of the island without opinions on the subject matter, but see someone tell about all they have editorializing. There is no need to SIC BOI #1, photocopied, she ends the stories without forcing gone through but then show that they opine when you’re describing riding 5 ½” x 8 ½”, 12 pgs. her opinions on anybody; instead are still capable of great things. This down a bumpy road in the back of This prisoner zine is not for the faint letting the stories stand on their own. makes the reading experience even DÀDWEHGWUXFNVLWWLQJQH[WWRDPDQ of heart. Speaking of “faint,” the It also has an interview with her more enjoyable for me on the basis who is ashing his cigarette into an whole thing appears to have been fellow ex-holy roller and childhood that I feel like I get to know the writer open-topped jug of gasoline. You can done in pencil, including the cover friend. It’s good stuff as well, along personally just through a stream of guess how that feels. This is good drawing of a guy with a mohawk with the snarky summary of the faith IRXU RU ¿YH FRPLFV ±1RDK : . writing about fascinating events. –CT spitting on an exploding planet earth. called “Instructions for How to Play: (754 Washington Ave. 4R, Brooklyn, Terry (Dean, PO Box 793, Ruidoso, The majority of the zine is an action- Christian.” Apparently, there are more NY, 11238, [email protected]) 10 SDFNHGVWRU\DERXWD¿VW¿JKWZLWKD of these in the works as well, which cellmate, and how that leads into a “In stories like these we can always see a little of ourselves. And making that connection with other people is one of the main reasons why I read zines.” –Sean Stewart, Warm Socks

I’m pretty stoked about. –Craven MISHAP #24, $2 or trade or free, PUBLICK OCCURENCES #11, shitstorm of violence and neglect at Rock (Jesus Christ Super Zine! c/o 5 ½” x 8 ½”, copied, 36 pgs. $2 or trade, quarter-size, screened the hands of the prison guards. The SSO Press, PO Box 2645, Olympia, Mishap is a well-rounded zine: cardstock cover, 16 pgs. writing is exciting and in the moment. WA 98507) a few insightful personal essays, The illustrator who does this zine Randy is looking for pen pals. Hit some lists, book and zine reviews, took an old high school yearbook him up! –CT Terry (Randy Johnson MAXIMUM ROCKNROLL #304, DQG D WLQ\ ELW RI ¿FWLRQ 8VXDOO\ and drew a bunch of the photos in it. F22545, CC40, PO Box 490, Alturas, $4, 8 ½” x 12”, newsprint, 150 pgs. WKH¿UVWFRXSOHRISDJHVRID]LQH The best thing about it is the cover, CA 96101) This issue of MRR has some band tell me if I will enjoy it or not. which is a thick cardstock with a interviews and one with the guy from In this case, I was hooked after sweet screen prints on both sides. SINKHOLE #14, $1, Government Issue. There are more WKH ¿UVW SDJH RI WKH ¿UVW HVVD\ It looks really nice and really punk. photocopied, 8 ½” x 11”, 32 pgs. U.K. anarchist bands covered by Lance a reasoned look at how we tend The illustrations inside couldn’t be A kitchen sink Florida zine with Hahn. However, the real reason to get to label people by quantitative better, thick lines and sort of a... columns on The Green Party, this was the interview with Raymond means before we even have any hell, I can’t explain it. Illustration/art $JDLQVW 0H UROOHU GHUE\ DQG D Pettibon, which was really good! qualitative experience of them. only zines aren’t really my thing. political protest, some comics, brief ±&UDYHQ 5RFN 0D[LPXPURFNQUROO Ryan effectively mixes personal Zines without words tend to end all interviews, punk phrases in Spanish PO Box 460760, San Francisco, CA, and political themes throughout his too quickly for me. I just take a look (“Please direct me to the nearest 94146-0760) writing, leaving the reader with a through them then set them down. tattoo parlor”), and a how-to on sock snapshot of his ideals, but without Then I always wonder how I was monkeys. Nice looking cut‘n’paste MAXIMUM ROCKNROLL #305, the feeling of having been hit over supposed to take it in and if I should layout and DIY as can be. –CT Terry 306, 307, $4, 8 ¼” x 10” ¾”, newsprint the head with them. I appreciate have taken more time and pondered (Sinkhole, PO Box 1063, Tallevast, Whether or not I always love to read WKDW ±6HDQ 6WHZDUW 0LVKDS 32 over the drawings. That being said, FL 34270) MRR, I can say without a doubt that I Box 5841, Eugene, OR 97405) ,FDQGH¿QLWHO\DSSUHFLDWHWKHWDOHQW always love to see it come in the mail. and unique quality of this zine. If SOMNAMBULIST #13, $15 for 4- Times are tough and independent MOUNTZA ½óµ[óµ this sounds like something you’ll issue subscription, 5 ½” x 8 ½”, 40 pgs. printed media is getting hit left and offset, two-color cover, 100 pgs. like, I trust that you will a whole This loose zine was done by a woman right. Like everyone else, Maximum I feel like the winner of some multi- ORW ±&UDYHQ 5RFN 'DQQ\ 0DUWLQ who had to drop out of art school has had to make some changes. But if million dollar lottery when I get a 746 E. 5th St., Tucson, AZ 85719, after being diagnosed with Cushing’s putting an ad on the back cover, getting copy of Mountza for review. This issue [email protected]) disease. There’s a great story about ULGRIWKHFODVVL¿HGVDQGWLJKWHQLQJXS retains the high quality production her impoverished family having to the content is what it takes to keep the values, and is now perfect bound. RISE AND THE FALL, THE #11, clear-cut the woods where they lived. ship moving, then it seems more than Inside are interviews with Criminal $2 ppd., free in L.A., 5 ½” x 8 ½”, 7KHUH¶V DOVR VRPH JRRI\ ¿FWLRQ DQG worth it. I’m not even gonna describe Damage, Clorox Girls, Hibernation, printed, 56 pgs. neat drawings by the editor and one of what this mag is about because if Get Rad, Annihilation Time, New Kids writing zines about their local her friends. I really liked the piece on you’ve never checked one out, then 0H[LFDQ 'LVDVWHU 6TXDG +DWH scenes should take note, because the family’s woods and wish there was you should probably just do it already. Records, and Viral Graphics. Then these guys are doing it right. The more stuff like that in Somnambulist. ±'DU\O 0D[LPXPURFNQUROO32%R[ there are the columns (in Greek), a mix Rise and the Fall sets the bar pretty ±&77HUU\ 0DUWKD*URYHU32%R[ 460760, SF, CA, 94146-0760) tape article (written in Greek, but band high for hometown music zines by 14871, Portland, OR 97293) names in English), and entertaining showing off some excellent graphic MENTALLY ILL #1, $1, observance of the Neurotic Deathfest design skills from the eye-catching STANDARD ISSUE #4, free 8 ½” x 5”, copied, 8 pgs. IURP 3DVFDO &UHWDLQ DQ $QWL0RQG pink and blue cover, to the perfectly (in person, so send stamps or money), Mentally Ill is a zine put together tour report, and a new section, “Art reproduced photographs and sharp 8 ½” x 11”, photocopied, 22 pgs. by a dude who, to put it lightly, has & Disorderly.” A lot of reading. layout. It doesn’t hurt that there Scene-based punk zine out of Ottawa, been dumped on one too many times. 2SLQLRQDWHGDQGLQWHUHVWLQJ±0$YUJ are apparently plenty of rad bands with reviews and interviews of bands However, on the bright side, he was (mountza.blogspot.com) active in the San Pedro area right from that scene, like The Visitors, able to channel all this frustration, now—including Killer Dreamer, Suppositories, and Holy Cobras. Also 105 has some short pieces on quitting the Dead Boys ((“If you hold a guinea WARM SOCKS, $2 or trade, as columns. I suggest getting this, a smoking, as well as some cool comics pig by the tail, its eyes will fall out. 5 ½” x 8 ½”, copied, 48 pgs. stack of notebook paper, envelopes, and illustrations. Funny and inspired. I’m just as surprised as you to read Brandt writes an ultra-personal and a book of stamps and seeing 0DGHPHMHDORXVRIWKHLUVPDOOWLJKW these words”)). Photos of girls posing perzine. By that, I mean it’s like ZKDWLVRXWWKHUH±0$YUJ 32%R[ punk scene. I guess you could say on stacks of Bang and USA Records we have been dropped into his  0XUIUHHVERUR 71  it kind of took me there, meaning 45s! Ads for lovelier, fuller bosoms head with no context to guide us. 0156, undergroundpress.org) it’s a well-done zine. –Craven Rock AND Uranium detectors! A cut-price This experience arrives as a mix ([email protected]) ticket to a world where everybody of typed and handwritten vignettes ZISK #16, $2, 8 ½” x 7” talks like Snapper Carr, and there are with collages and other artwork, 7KH ¿UVW WLPH WKDW , UHDG Zisk three TEVS #2, $2, 8½” x 11”, WZR 0LGJHV IRU HYHU\ ER\$QG WR including a cool hand-drawn map years ago, I wasn’t sure how seriously copied, 18pgs. top it all off, a list of the top ten songs of Brandt’s Seattle haunts. There’s to take it as “the baseball magazine for $ 0LQQHDSROLV ]LQH SXW WRJHWKHU about chicken known to man! Go the some angsty unrequited love stuff, people who hate baseball magazines.” by the boys at Eclipse Records and extra dollar and receive a completely some epic friendship stuff, and a hell To publishers Faloon and Reynolds, I 0RGHUQ 5DGLR 0RVW RI WKH SDJHV illegally reproduced CD featuring of a lot of wandering (both physical QRZ VD\ ³0LVVLRQ DFFRPSOLVKHG´ , are put towards long interviews with the Hot Chicken 10 and much much and mental). I was suspicious at like Zisk a whole heap, particularly better-than-average local bands, more! It’s gotta be had, dad! –Rev. ¿UVW²VRPHWLPHV ODFN RI FRQWH[W because it’s exactly what it purports with two more columns by various 1¡UE 0DWW0D\KHP+ROO\ZRRG leads to confusion and frustration itself to be. I hate, hate, hate sports contributors. The centerpiece for this Ave., Oberlin, OH 44074) when reading personal writing—but writing about baseball (other than issue would have to be “In Praise of Brandt won me over because in checking how much the Brewers are the Best Worst Album I Can Think TUMS, $2 or trade, stories like these we can always see playing like a bunch of old women of Of” by Chris Besinger, writing about 8 ½” x 11”, photocopied, 36 pgs. a little of ourselves. And making that late), and Zisk has actually managed a Suicide record. If anyone knows the Can’t say I’ve ever reviewed a zine connection with other people is one to rekindle my interest in the game 03/6 VFHQH DQG ZKHUH WR GLJ LW¶G of smut. It’s pretty interesting. Some of the main reasons why I read zines. through its offbeat articles and often be these guys. –Andrew Flanagan of it turned me on and some of it –Sean Stewart (Brandt Schmitz, PO whimsical focus. Note, however, that (myspace.com/tevszine) disturbed me. The author says the Box 3984, Berkeley, CA 94703) most of the coverage that I’ve seen in pieces did the same thing for him/ this rag has been about the National THAT’S COOL, THAT’S TRASH her. The writing was good and had ZINE WORLD #26, League, so if you’ve got American #1, $3 ppd. ($4 w/CD), stories covering the sex genres of $4, 8 ½” x 11”, copied, 62 pgs. League concerns you may be left 8 ½” x 5 ½”, copied, 38 pgs. LQFHVWPDWXUHIDPLO\IULHQGDQG¿UVW I’m glad that a resource like this still dripping in the wind. But since I’ve Keen zine with which to clean your time. There were a number of graphic exists, despite all the pundits chirping not read all the back issues, I can’t ween, mean your gene, and ball your drawings and pictures, too. This is that print is dead. Whatthefuckever... speak to the accuracy of this NL- SHHQ0DWWWKH&DWNQRZVZKHUHLW¶V totally new to me (a zine of smut, not As subtitled, this is “A reader’s centric perspective. Check out Zisk, at and that’s that, up to bat with shat smut itself), but I liked what I read, guide to the underground press.” anyway, if you have a modicum that puts meat in the seats and feet in DOWKRXJK , ZRXOG GH¿QLWHO\ QHHG WR The majority of this zine consists of interest in baseball. –The Lord WKH VKHHWV OLNH JXPÀDSSLQ¶ µQ¶ DVV be somewhat conscious where I read of reviews of zines from all over Kveldulfr (801 Eagles Ridge Rd., VODSSLQ¶ ZLWK WKH 0DQLNLQV 6KRFN this. .XUW 0RUULV 32 %R[  the globe, as well as a directory to Brewster, NY 10509) WKH5RDG$SSOHVDQG-HII0DJQXPRI 03/601 ]LQH OLEUDULHV FODVVL¿HGV DV ZHOO Hundreds more zine reviews can be found at www.razorcake.org

knives, blades cutting through. She sets out on the long, hard search for healing. First, she changes her external conditions: moving to a new place, trying on new lovers for size, but even that ground gained seems lost in other discomfort, self-doubts, and self-hatred. Rule number one, and I say this without judgment: drugs make people less reliable. Sure, in the short term, they can make you feel BOOK better, make people funnier, prettier, and more desirable. But, the REVIEWS responses Carmenita has defaulted to—either extreme partying or extreme depression—become predictable, novelistically. Textually, you can see the next hill beyond the next valley. You can see what’s coming leagues before Carmenita does. Regardless of the particular situation, in Carmenita’s life, everything is beautiful or everything is batter-dipped in shit. Cristy, the author, undeniably, has an eloquent ÀDLUIRUURPDQWLFDQGJURWHVTXHODQJXDJH

RIDWUDYHORJXHVKRZWKDWOLYHGDYHU\TXLUN\EXWVKRUWOLIHRQ079 back in the late 80s. Also included is a ripping good parody of a VH1 Behind the MusicGRFXPHQWDU\IHDWXULQJWKHOLIHDQGWLPHVRI0U9HH QDWXUDOO\$QGRIFRXUVHWKURXJKRXWWKH'9'WKH0HDWPDQ¶VWHVWLFXODU ¿[DWLRQ ZLWK$%%$¶V$JQHWKD )DOWVNRJ FURSV XS DJDLQ DQG DJDLQ LQ DVD various lowbrow vignettes. The only more frequent theme is Tesco’s REVIEWS obsession with that “Satan” character from The Bible. The whole tired Beelzebubba thing is somewhat lost on me, but Tesco obviously feels that it “still has legs,” as they say, and that it still has the power to make PRUDOO\XSULJKW%LEOH%HOWHUVZHWWKHEHG$QGKH¶VWKH0DVWHUVR,¶OO assume he knows what he’s doing. As amusing as most of this smutty smorgasbord is, I still have to say that Devil’s in the DetailsKDVPRUH¿OOHUWKDQDYDWRI$OSR.HHSLQJLQPLQG the verity of the old saying “one man’s trash is another man’s treasure,” I nevertheless contend that this thing could’ve been trimmed down by 20% or so. While I found, for example, the tour of his kitschy toy collection to EHYHU\LQWHUHVWLQJWRRPDQ\VSRWVLQWKH'9'VHHPHGWREH¿OOHGZLWK random “out-take” type material that was a bit snooze-inducing. What was interesting to watch was the evolution of Tesco from a snide, kinetic almost frat-boy-looking asshole in the early 80s to the slightly calmer middle age asshole we have now—still full of piss and The Meatmen:The Devil’s in the Details, Vol. 1:DVD vinegar, as he’s quick to add. But if anyone can pull off “punk” and ,IWKHUHZDVD3XQN5RFN0RXQW5XVKPRUHIHDWXULQJWKHJLDQWEXVWV “avuncular” at the same time, it’s Tesco Vee. In the words of the Rotters’ of the Kings of Tastelessness, right alongside El Duce, GG Allin, and Phester Swollen “the whole idea of middle age punks is offensive…. Blag Dahlia would be the leering mug of the “Dutch Hercules,” aka: but that’s the point.” And I’ll drink to that. It’s entirely possible that a 7HVFR9HHRIWKH0HDWPHQ1RGRXEWDERXWLW%XWFK )UDQN'LVFXVVLRQ 50-something Tesco Vee can jerk people’s chains even better than the Lee Ving, the Angry Samoans, and a few others, of course, deserve to be youthful Tesco who wrote “Tooling for Anus” and “Cripple Children up there too, but for random and poorly thought out reasons, right now Suck” all those years ago. I’m restricting it to the aforementioned four. Besides, I think it’s funny Among the many things that are made clear by watching DITD, is LPDJLQLQJWKHOLNHQHVVRI0U9HHHWHUQDOO\FDUYHGLQWRDPRXQWDLQRXV that Tesco Vee is the Bozo Satirist Laureate of not just the world of punk, sandwich of love with the likenesses of Eldon Hoke and Kevin Allin— but the world of pop culture in general. And even after a 10 year hiatus, two competitors in the schlock rock trade for whom he had nothing but his agitator/shit-stirrer/entertainer skills are still in top notch form—so stinking heaps of disrespect.) much so that it would be a crying shame if he didn’t somehow wind up And what better time than now to have the Evel Knievel of Political with his own “T. Vee” show again. Twisted talent like his doesn’t come Incorrectness come careening in on his satanic superbike, squashing down the pike all that often. And maybe Triumph the Insult Comic Dog all that is innocuous, fetid and fake beneath his screaming wheels. A could be his sidekick. The only question would be whether the current ZRUOGZREEOLQJGDQJHURXVO\RXWRIEDODQFHZLWKDWVXQDPLOLNHLQÀX[ FURSRIGRXJKKHDGVWKDWPDNHXSWKH0\VSDFHJHQHUDWLRQZRXOGKDYH of new breeds of Instant Celebrities—along with new breeds of dim- the neuron power to sense that, underneath all debauchery and homo bulbed gawkers to pay attention to them—is a world in dire need of a jokes, Tesco might just be putting us all on—maybe. quick-draw sacred cow killer with a fast mouth and a high threshold for But most surprising about this DVD—next to the fact that there embarrassment. So when I say that Devil’s in the Details is something of is very little nudity here—might be the fact that the Clown Prince of a Tesco Vee vanity project—or in his own words, an “orgy of one”—that /LEHUWLQLVP²0U (YLO ,QFDUQDWH KLPVHOI²DFWXDOO\ FRPHV DFURVV DVD is not in any way to be taken as an indictment or jibe. Our precious World pretty damn likable guy. Imagine that. :LGH:HE²ZLWKLWV )DFHERRNVwannabe celebs of cyberspace and “reality” things crass and/or juvenile, you’re in luck. In fact, might I be so bold TV to someone like Uncle Tesco. Sure, he might be as much a Dutch as to suggest that all the covers of this DVD have a warning sticker Narcissus as a Hercules, but he built his infamy from the bottom up, one that reads “Devil’s in the Details is Pee-Wee’s Playhouse for perverts.” scathing insult at a time, using nothing but a wicked wit and a keen eye ,WKLQNWKDWPRUHRUOHVVVXPVLWXS±$SKLG3HHZLW 09'9LVXDO32 for soft white underbellies. Box 280, Oaks, PA 19456) 7KDW EHLQJ VDLG FDOOLQJ WKLV D ³0HDWPHQ´ '9' LV D ELW RI D PLVQRPHU +HUH DQG WKHUH WKURXJKRXW WKH '9' 7KH 0HDWPHQ DUH Shelter: A Squatumentary: DVD indeed present, performing in their many line-ups that spanned over the Among the many ludicrous ideas that society has tried to shove down 28 years since their inception, as is Tesco’s other band the Hate Police. my throat and make me buy into is the concept of “ownership.” Yes, you %XW SOD\LQJ EHKLQG WKH VSDVWLF 0U 9HH LQ PXUN\ FOLSV FXOOHG IURP read that right. Ownership. The soft gooey chocolaty center to “being an old VHS tapes, they’re little more than the house band in this feature. American” that makes all that we do make sense. It’s the thing that is in 7KHYDULRXV0HDWPHQEDQGPHPEHUVFRPHDFURVVDVOLWWOHPRUHWKDQ the sticky middle of all advertising and it’s the sick marshmallow clown- DQRQ\PRXVFRJVLQWKHÀDPER\DQW7HVFR9HH(QWHUWDLQPHQW0DFKLQH tumor that is at the very heart of the “American Dream.” much in the same way as the various Joe Lunchboxes who showed up It’s also the thing that, next to our stunning good looks, supposedly WRSOD\EHKLQG**LQWKH0XUGHU-XQNLHVDOOWKRVH\HDUV EURWKHU0HUOH makes us superior to all those languishing third world countries where being the notable exception.) WKH GHDUWK RI ,SRGV DQG FHOO SKRQHV DQG ODYLVK 0DUWKD 6WHZDUWOLNH 6RZKLOH\RXGRJHWWRIHDVW\RXUH\HVDQGHDUVRQSOHQW\RI0HDWPHQ houses is pathetically counterbalanced by an overabundance of rickety live footage—rough as it may be—the bulk of this three hour Tesco VKDFNVWHHPLQJÀLHVDQGPDOQXWULWLRQThose people are just not clued Extravaganza is a masturbatory montage of mean spirited cartoons, into the potential spiritual glories of gluttonous ownership, according vintage toy commercials, serial killer puppet shows, and countless to a sweetly ass-stupid ex-coworker of mine. We’re smart enough to skewerings of various pop culture icons. But what this DVD delivers own as much as we possibly can and they’re not, simple as that. Just PRVW RI DOO LV VHHPLQJO\ HYHU\ VFUDS RI YLGHR WKDW HYHU FDSWXUHG 0U ask that Rush Limbaugh bag of gas. Vee’s likeness. That includes Way USA—Uncle Tesco’s seamy little runt Whether you fancy yourself on the right side of the political spectrum or 111 the left, in this “land of the free, home of the brave,” the sense of ownership tried putting in snack chips in the 90s—as much as you ate it, it just is one of our most primary motivators for pulling ourselves out of bed in the kept sliding through your tubes and out your back hole without leaving morning and we oftentimes use it as a gauge to see how our fellow humans behind so much as a nutritional skid mark. The concept of ownership measure up. It’s such an integral component of our consensus reality that has similarly refused to stick to me. So it was with some interest that we’re barely aware of just how pervasive it is. That can be explained, of I popped Shelter into the DVD player. I had a feeling of prescience, course, by the fact that we’ve all been manipulated and dumbed-down to a distinct sense that I was about to gaze into a crystal ball of sorts and the point where it now seems unnatural to question that which fuels our see what my future might hold for me. I have, after all, always admired most basic motivations. But all along the desire to “own” has been the rotten people who thumbed their noses at society’s restrictive conventions and hairy butt carrot that’s been dangled in front of our noses and it’s kept us found their own shelter outside the delineations of the law. Whether slogging along, forever grasping, forever wanting. it’s Diogenes living in a large deserted tub or Taoist hermits living One of the more notable consequences of that is that our land is in mountain caves or Richard Proenneke chucking everything and carved up into units of ownership called “properties,” and the phantasm building himself a cabin deep in the Alaskan wilderness, I have always of ownership is further propped up by a leviathan of a legal system been impressed by their free-thinking gumption. that keeps an ever watchful eye out for those who might not play by Shelter is a 45 minute documentary that shines an honest light under the game rules. But it all has as much “solid” reality as, for example, the rocks and into the darkest corners of modern day urban decay. Three 0DOFROP0F/DUHQ¶VIDQFLIXOUHYLVLRQLVWWDNHRQWKHKLVWRU\RIWKH6H[ &DOLIRUQLD VTXDWV²+HOODULW\ %DQDQD +RXVH DQG 3RZHU 0DFKLQH² 3LVWROV3XWEXWWVLPSOHLW¶VDFODVVLFFDVHRIUHL¿FDWLRQ,W¶VWKHDWWHPSWHG are featured and at each we get to see how the outlaw inhabitants go concretizing of pure abstractions. In reality, ownership is nothing more about their day-to-day, mundane existence. That ranges from dealing WKDQD¿JPHQWRIDJLDQWLPDJLQDWLRQ with rigidly doctrinaire law enforcement thugs, to dealing with plants Now, saying this might possibly be the most dangerous thing an JURZLQJXSWKURXJKWKHNLWFKHQÀRRUWRIRUWLI\LQJWKHLUVTXDWVDJDLQVW American can say these days, seeing how our entire economic system intruders by spreading shards of broken glass along the windowsills. is kept uncomfortably sustained by the dutiful ingestion of the bland And what comes shining through is that these are not shabby miscreants, and unintelligent fruits of ovine consumerism. And consumerism is, societal dregs, or diseased rodent people, but intelligent, idealistic folks of course, tied into the whole ownership concept like stink on shit. who are brave enough to buck the system and live by their own rules. Shooting my mouth off like this could very well get me assassinated And I admire the stinking hell out of that. even before Barack Obama. But here’s the naked truth: the concept of As someone who has an intrinsic inability to take the concept of ownership ownership is an infantile, brutish, and territorial idea that surely grew too seriously—and as our economy currently shudders and strains in what from a sprout that twisted up from between the midget hemispheres of might be the earliest stages of birthing the Second Great Depression—I’m the legume-sized brain that we, as hominids, possessed in the darkest of realizing that the noble art and science of squatting is one that I should ages of our early evolution. It all boils down to the idea of “mine”—that probably familiarize myself with. And if you’re like me, someone who has grabbing, covetous concept that showed up for most of us right around never squatted but is intrigued by the outlaw glamour of it, Shelter is as good the same time that we were wearing diapers and hanging out in playpens a place to start your investigation as any. Filmmaker Hannah Dobbs has said and routinely throwing temper tantrums when we weren’t able to seize that she hoped that Shelter would get people to think about squatting and I the object of our desire and make it our own. ZRXOGVD\WKDWLQWKDWUHVSHFWWKLV¿OPLVDQXQDOOR\HGVXFFHVV To this day, the idea of ownership still sticks in my craw and simply –Aphid Peewit ([email protected]) refuses to be digested. I guess it’s a lot like that Olean shit that they To read more DVD reviews, go to www.razorcake.org.