Who Am I?
● Jarl Hrolfr
● Non - Monogomous since 2014
● Master with 2 slaves
● Voodoo member since 2015
● Moderator: Colorado Ethical-Non Monogomy FB Group
● Facilitator: Colorado Springs Polyamory monthly meetup
The types of Non-Monogamy
https://blog.franklinveaux.com/2017/12/an-update-to-the-map-of-non-monogamy/
A Quick Definition
Monogomy: The custom or Non-Monogamy: the state of condition of having only one mate being romantically or sexually in an intimate relationship, of being involved or partnered with multiple dedicated to a single partner. people
Ethical Non-Monogamy: A style of relationship where non-monogamy, the state of being romantically or sexually involved or partnered with multiple people, is practiced in a ethical/moral fashion, in such a manner that every person involved in the relationship, sexual or romantic connections know they and those involved are with multiple people.
Non-Ethical Non-Monogamy is a thing. Its called cheating!
Open Relationship
A relationship in which two people agree that they want to be in a primary emotional and intimate relationship with each other, but agree to at least the possibility of intimacy with other people. Basically, to have it all: a significant other and the freedom to hook up with other people. Many different sub styles: Swinging, Friends with Benefits, Casual Sex, Dating around, Polyamory
Open Relationship
We can have sex with other We are in a relationship, but we people. As long as its just havn't explicity negotiated sex, no love. monogamy, so its open.
When my partner is on deployment, we can fool around.
Stay out of drama. Respect the Don't tell me about it, dont bring rules. And don't play with a man them home, dont fall in love. who has a jealous girlfriend
As far as somebody being right for us … is there somebody right for a nice night? Maybe. But somebody that can sustain our life and sustain what we’ve built together, absolutely not!”
Friends With Benefits
Two friends who trust each other enough to engage in sexual activity without fear of hurting the other's feelings. Ideal scenario for folk who are not interested in a serious relationship, or who do not have time for one. Not a boyfriend or girlfriend; neither party has to refrain from dating other people. Fuckbuddies, make out buddy, benafriend, ladyfriend, occasional boyfriend.
Friends With Benefits
John and I are friends with benefits. We just hang out, and One of the benefits of having have sex. It's easy, now that we've friends with benefits is that you established the ground rules. If we can get a good fuck and still stay stopped having sex, we'd still be single friends.
Lets play friends with benefits and see who catches feelings first
I changed my Facebook name to benefits. So when you add me it says you are now friends with benefits
Swinging
A lifestyle of non-monogamy where sexual relations occur outside the established couple. Swingers tend to refrain from romantic attachments with their outside partners, thus differentiating themselves from PolyAmorists. There is some overlap between the two communities, though the closeness of the comparisons are generally not acknowledged. Soft swing, Wife Swap
Swinging
My wife and I like to hook up at We like swing clubs and public raves sex, but only with each other
My wife and I belong to a swingers group. We love watching each other with different people. My husband and I are swingers. We went out last weekend and things got awkward. I started my Its not cheating if my husband new job today. Guess who my watches new boss is.....
I found out my co-workers Hey Dad, what does "Wife Swap" mean? parents are swingers. I Go next door and ask your mother found this out by my ex and I having a 4some with My husband doesn't go to play them at a swingers party. parties, but my sub and I like hooking up at them Polyamory
The practice, state or ability of having more than one sexual loving relationship at the same time, with the full knowledge and consent of all partners involved. The relationships may be symmetrical (like a triangle), hierachical or something more complex. The relationships may also be open or closed. Triads, relationship anarchy, Unicorn, Mono-poly, Solo Poly
Polyamory
We finally decided we were in a A: “Hey I saw you kiss Natalie, are relationship with Bob and Alice. And you cheating?” why stop there? B: “No, I am polyamorous” A: “Doesn’t that mean that you’re We are looking for a cheater?” a third to complete our family B: “No, polyamory is different then that. Betty is fine with me being with other girls” A: “Oh, sorry for the misunderstanding” This is my wife, her boyfriend, my boyfriend and our girlfriend. Her husband will be joining us later.
So how do i do this thing?
Gather information. Go out and Go slow and take it easy! meet people who are involved in lifestyle. Read books/websites. Check in with your partner. How is everything going? Whats working? Think about what it is you want. Whats not? Do we need to Live in partners? Out of state only? revise? Casual sex? What "feels" are we having? If you have a partner, discuss with Jeaoulsy, Anger, Compersion, them. Are they on the same page neutral, NRE. as you? What are they looking for? What are each other limits? Create your rules Go give it a try!
Jealousy (or is it)
Jealous: suspicious or unduly Envy: a feeling of grudging suspicious or fearful of being admiration and desire to have displaced by a rival something that is possessed by another
The main difference between envy and jealousy is that envy is the emotion of coveting what someone else has, while jealousy is the emotion related to fear that something you have will be taken away by someone else.
Mary is taking her first trip to Las I think i'm jealous because Frank Vegas with her other partner is always messaging someone Charlie. I'm envious as all hell as i else. He doesn't mesage me wanted to share that momment nearly as much as he used to. with her.
Handling Jealousy
Know what jealousy is Practice thought-stopping techniques Notice what’s happening in your body Get rid of excess physical energy Check the facts Figure out what’s really bothering you Learn from it and make changes accordingly
Cheating – It Still Happens
Great thing with Ethical Non- Monogamy is you get to set the rules. However, you need to then abide by them. If you intentionally break the rules, your cheating and its no longer etchical Mistakes/slipups can happen and can be worked through as long as all parties work through it with good communication.
Resources
"Ethical Slut" – Book "More than two" – Book and Website Colorado Springs Ethical Non-Monogamy FB Page Colorado Springs Polyamory Meeting – Second Tuesday of Month @ Voodoo Leatherworks.