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Home , Alex Jones

VS QANON

EXT. REC CENTER - NIGHT

INT. REC CENTER TOM and ELIZABETH stand in front of a small group of people. Behind them is a screen projecting the words: "QANON DISCUSSION GROUP" ELIZABETH Thank you so much for coming today! I'm glad to see so many people without masks! Our leader, Q, would be proud. Everyone cheers and claps. TOM We're both really excited to be back in action after this pandemic BS. A mid 30's man, SIMON, throws a fist in the air. SIMON Yeah! ELIZABETH You're a new face. Why don't you introduce yourself? SIMON My name is Simon. I've been looking for a group of like minded individuals and, well, I'm just glad to be here. TOM We're glad to have you! Why don't you start us off. What's something you think we should discuss? SIMON I want to know what we plan on doing about the chemicals in the water that are turning people into homosexuals? ELIZABETH Oh... Um... 2.

Elizabeth looks to Tom. TOM Sir, I don't want to be rude, but this is a serious group. We're not here to peddle nonsense. SIMON Nonsense!? Have you read the reports? Even the god damn frogs are getting gay! People snicker around him. Simon turns to them. SIMON (CONT'D) This is funny to you!? TOM It's just... so ridiculous. ELIZABETH I mean, gay frogs? She chuckles and everyone else joins in. SIMON UGH! It's called estrogen mimickers! They're being placed in tap water, soda, juice boxes -- in order to feminize the entire country! It's silent for a moment. TOM But.... why? ELIZABETH Yeah, that makes no sense. Simon throws his hands in the air. SIMON Haven't you guys looked around lately. Everywhere you look, there's a new gay person about. Don't let them social engineer you! TOM Well, for one, people are born gay -- they don't turn gay-- 3.

ELIZABETH And frankly, it's really insulting that you would even suggest that people could turn gay. That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. RANDOM PERSON Yeah! ELIZABETH Now, let's get back to the issue at hand: A secret child predator ring, exclusive to the Democratic Party, that exists under the D.C. Pizzeria, , and is intended to extract adrenochrome from children. ALL Yeah! TOM Now, that makes sense. SIMON Woah, woah, wait. That's what this is? TOM Yeah, you didn't see the sign out front? SIMON No. I did, I just thought this was part of the "vaccines cause " circle of people. The people around him groan. TOM Wooooow! And you're anti-vax?? SIMON Okay... someone's been watching too much lamestream media over here. ELIZABETH Oh, we don't watch . TOM We get our sources the way it's suppose to be -- directly from anonymous message boards. 4.

Simon laughs. SIMON You guys are so stupid! That could be a dorky teenager for all you know! TOM He has secret knowledge from within The White House! Some even say it's himself! Simon shakes his head. SIMON You guy's are being duped! (then) That's why I trust guys like Alex Jones. He's the guy that really knows whats going on. TOM Alex Jones is a moron! The guy is just trying to sell his supplements! And, you're eating it all up! SIMON Look, we can sit here arguing all day but, clearly, you guys are a lost cause. TOM Says the guy who thinks there are machines that control the weather! SIMON Not machines -- electromagnetic waves!!! RANDOM PERSON (interjects) Wait! The random person looks at his phone. RANDOM PERSON (CONT'D) Q just announced that he's going to reveal himself! Go to four chan quick. ELIZABETH It's happening! 5.

Tom fiddles around on the computer and projects the video. On screen is ALEX JONES. ALEX JONES It's time for you all to know. I'm Q! And we're going to disrupt the new world order! Everyone in the room groans. TOM Alex Jones -- are you kidding me!? SIMON Hey, maybe this isn't such a loony thing after all. Everyone else stands up and leaves the room. SIMON (CONT'D) Where's everyone going? ALEX JONES Where we go one, we go all! SIMON Now, this is more like it. CUT TO BLACK.