EQUIP Workshop Death, Dying, & Funerals March 25, 2015

SUICIDE IN CHRISTIAN PERSPECTIVE David W. Jones, Ph.D.

Introduction Definition: Suicide is to purposefully take one’s own life out of misdirected self-love. The term “suicide” was coined in 1651 and literally means “self” (sui) “to kill” (cide). There is a moral difference between volitional suicide and suicide due to psychological or physiological factors such as a chemical imbalance, clinical depression, an altered mental state, etc A distinction should be made between suicide and willful self-sacrifice of one’s own life. Examples of self-sacrifice include: military service, dying in defense of a friend (cf. John 15:13), ministering to the infectious sick, dangerous missions work (cf. 2 Cor. 4:7–18; 11:16–23). John 10:18—in regard to Jesus’ own self-sacrifice There are roughly 29,000 successful suicides in the each year; compared to 19,000 mur- ders and 13,000 AIDS related deaths. Roughly 500,000 people will attempt suicide each year. Suicide is the 3rd leading cause of death for people ages 15 to 25. 72% of successful suicides are white males. Females are more likely to attempt suicide; however, males are four times more likely to suc- cessfully commit suicide. Suicide almost always occurs in response to suffering or anticipated suffering. Suffering could be physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual in nature. Major reasons for suicide include: depression, financial trouble, dissolution of a relationship, a form of protest, sexual gender confusion, religious ritual, escape from punishment, and escape from pain. Some may wrongly argue that suicide ought to be allowed, as a right, if one’s body is viewed as one’s own property. The body is not our own (cf. 1 Cor. 6:19–20). As image bearers, human beings live in community. As such, suicide grieves those left behind, as well as producing guilt and strained relationships. Encouraging suicide communicates that there is no answer to despair and no comfort in afflic- tion. This is the opposite of what the gospel promises. SUICIDE IN CHRISTIAN PERSPECTIVE David W. Jones, Ph.D.

Church History The Christian church has always viewed suicide as a grave sin. The church has viewed suicide to be the prime example of self-idolatry. The difference between suicide and other sins is that successful suicide allows no time for re- pentance. Early church councils denied Christian burial to those guilty of suicide. Southern have passed resolutions expressing concern about suicide in 1972, 1983, 1992, 1996, and 2001; yet, all of these statements are tangentially related to suicide, focusing upon things such as euthanasia, alcohol and drug use, and assisted suicide. Suicide in the Bible General Scripture references: Satan tempted Jesus to commit suicide (cf. Matt. 4:5–6; Luke 4:9–11). The Philippian jailor purposed to commit suicide (cf. Acts 16:27–28). Some of God’s ministers, especially his prophets, became so frustrated with their ministry that they asked God to kill them, including: Moses (cf. Num. 11:12–15), Elijah (cf. 1 Ki. 19:4), and Jonah (cf. Jonah 4:1–11). During the Great Tribulation many will attempt to commit suicide, but will be unable to find death (cf. Rev. 9:6). Examples of suicide in the Bible: Saul (cf. 1 Sam. 31:1–6; 1 Chron. 10:4–5): suicide by falling on his sword once wounded. 1 Chron. 10:14 says that the Lord killed Saul. 2 Sam. 1:10 says an Amalekite killed Saul. 2 Sam. 21:12 says the Philistines killed Saul. Saul’s armor–bearer (cf. 1 Sam. 31:1–6; 1 Chron. 10:4–5): suicide by falling on his sword. Ahithophel (cf. 2 Sam. 17:23): counselor to David and Absalom, suicide by hanging when his advice was spurned. Zimri (cf. 1 Ki. 16:15–19): fifth king of Israel, suicide when deposed after a week by structural fire. Judas Iscariot (cf. Matt. 27:3–5; Acts 1:15–19): suicide by hanging after betrayal of Jesus. SUICIDE IN CHRISTIAN PERSPECTIVE David W. Jones, Ph.D.

Disputed examples: Abimelech (Judg. 9:52–54): son of Gideon and sixth judge of Israel; killed by armor- bearer at his request once wounded. Perhaps an example of assisted suicide Samson (cf. Judg. 16:23–31): thirteenth and final judge of Israel; suicide by building collapse. Cited as a hero of faith in Hebrews 11:32 (example of divinely-enabled self -sacrifice after repentance) Observations All of the biblical examples of successful suicide are men. All of the biblical examples are dubious characters and none are praised for their actions. All were spiritually bankrupt or went through a period of spiritual collapse before their suicide. Many of the biblical examples were in pain and/or afraid before suicide. Scripture generally presents these examples of suicide as a fitting end to a wicked and unrepentant life (cf. Judg. 9:56; 1 Ki. 16:19). Toward a Christian Perspective Suicide is not the unpardonable sin, however suicide is sinful (cf. Matt. 12:31–32; Mark 3:28–29). Reasons why suicide is wrong: Sin against God as the creator and sustainer of life. It rejects God’s sovereignty and usurps his prerogative in regard to life and death (cf. Job 12:10). Violation of the sixth commandment (cf. Ex. 20:13; Deut. 5:17). Disregards the image of God and the sanctity of human life (cf. Gen. 1:26–27; 9:5–6). Poor stewardship of one’s body (cf. 1 Cor. 6:19–20). Demonstrates misdirected love and is injurious to others (cf. Matt. 22:36–39; Eph. 5:29). Overlooks the value of human suffering (cf. Rom. 5:3–5; 8:28; 2 Cor. 4:17–18; 12:10). Believers are called to suffer with Christ (cf. Rom. 8:17). The present life is not one of earthly glory and conquest. Believers are called to have joy and hope in the midst of current trials, looking forward to the age to come. Fails to recognize the unnatural nature of death (cf. Rom. 5:12; 1 Cor. 15:26; 1 Thess. 4:13–18). Jesus refused to commit suicide and Paul prevented it (cf. Matt. 4:5–6; Luke 4:9–11; Acts 16:27–28). SUICIDE IN CHRISTIAN PERSPECTIVE David W. Jones, Ph.D.

Ministry To those contemplating suicide: Recognize signs of suicide, including: talking about suicide; statements about hopelessness, helplessness, worthlessness; preoccupation with death; sudden happiness and calm; loss of interest in material things; disposal of material things; visiting loved ones; setting one’s affairs in order. Practical response: Ask pointed questions if you suspect someone is suicidal. Persuade them—even take them—to get help (e.g., crisis hotline, emergency room, family, counseling, etc.). Refer them to available resources and stay involved in their life (e.g., support group, church, etc.). Gospel The gospel itself is a response to the conditions that lead many people to consider or to attempt suicide. acknowledges the emptiness and brokenness of the world and offers hope, newness, and abundant life. Jesus shared in man’s pain and suffering and provides redemption and restoration. To those who have been affected by suicide: Treat as normal death. Grieve Listen Pray Meet material needs. WHAT HAPPENS WHEN AN INFANT DIES? David W. Jones, Ph.D.

Introductory Comments – “How important is this topic?” The question of the eternal fate of children who die in infancy is a recurrent topic among Christians; yet, many believers are surprisingly unable to give a coherent, biblically-informed answer to this question. This issue involves the children of those who have experienced a missed implant, a miscarriage, the death of an infant, and those who have had an abortion, among other scenarios that involve the death of a child. 30% - 60% of all fertilized eggs miss implantation in the womb. As high as 30% of all fertilized, implanted eggs miscarry. Historically, infant mortality rates have exceeded 50%. More than one-half of all human beings ever born have not lived passed infancy. There are over one million abortions performed in the United States each year. This question also relates to those who lack the capacity to make informed moral decisions, such as the mentally handicapped. Statement of the Problem: If mankind is born in sin, and salvation is by faith in Christ, then it may seem that infants—who do not have the ability to exercise faith—cannot be saved Options – “What are the possible answers to this question?” Option #1: All infants who die go to hell. While this may seem to be the logical conclusion of some denominations and/or theological systems, very few Christians (if any) have held this view in church history. This position is usually seen more in critical contexts, such as debates, caricatures, and/or uninformed articulations of theology. Option #2: Some infants who die go to heaven, while some infants who die go to hell. One variety of this option holds that baptized infants go to heaven, while non-baptized infants go to hell. Sacramental-based theologies (or works-based theologies), such as Roman Catholicism, have held to this position. Some groups within denominations that are close to Romans Catholicism have held to a variety of this view (i.e., Lutherans, Anglicans, Episcopalians, etc.). Some Protestant groups who hold to baptismal regeneration have held this position. Some Church Fathers such as Ambrose and Augustine held this view, at least for a time WHAT HAPPENS WHEN AN INFANT DIES? David W. Jones, Ph.D.

Another variety of this option holds that children of believing parents go to heaven, while children of unbelieving parents go to hell. This has been the view of some covenantal-based theologies, such as some varieties of Congregationalism, as well as some (but not most) Presbyterians. Based upon passages such as Gen. 17:7 – “And I will establish my covenant between me and you and your offspring after you throughout their generations for an ever- lasting covenant, to be God to you and to your offspring after you.” Option #3: All infants who die go to heaven. This is the majority view of the Protestant church, having been articulated by individuals such as: Danny Akin, Loraine Boettner, John Calvin, Millard Erickson, Wayne Grudem, Charles Hodge, Martin Luther, John MacArthur, Al Mohler, Ronald Nash, John Newton, John Piper, W. G. T. Shedd, Charles Spurgeon, Augustus Toplady, B. B. Warfield, and Ulrich Zwingli, among many others. This view is also articulated in the most famous of all of the Baptist confessions of faith, The Second London Baptist Confession of 1689 – “Infants, dying in infancy, are regenerated and saved by Christ, through the Spirit, who works when, and where, and how He pleases” (10.3). Biblical Considerations – “What does the Bible teach on this topic?” Scripture does not give an explicit answer, but there is enough to arrive at an implicit answer. The Bible reveals God has a favorable disposition toward children. Scripture repeatedly speaks of God’s relational knowledge of and/or concern for children, even in the womb Exodus 21:22–25; Psalm 22:9–10; 139:1–17; Jeremiah 1:5; Galatians 1:15–16. In his ministry Jesus exhibited graciousness toward children. Matthew 18:1–6, 10, 14; 19:14–15; Mark 10:13–16; Luke 18:15–16 There is no biblical text that refers to or hints at the presence of infants or children in hell. When asked the reason for his favorable disposition upon the death of his infant son, David declared, “Can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he will not return to me” (2 Sam. 12:23). The Old Testament repeatedly refers to the children of the enemies of Israel as “the inno- cents” (Jeremiah 2:34; 7:6; 19:4). WHAT HAPPENS WHEN AN INFANT DIES? David W. Jones, Ph.D.

Theological Considerations – “What are the challenges for a doctrine of infant salvation?” Original Sin All men are imputed with the guilt of Adam’s sin. Genesis 2:17; 3:6, 9; Romans 5:12, 16, 18–19; 1 Corinthians 15:21–22; Hebrews 9:27 This includes infants Genesis 8:21; Psalm 51:5, 58:3 , 143:2; Proverbs 20:9; Ecclesiastes 7:20; Isaiah 48:8; John 3:6; Romans 3:10-18; Ephesians 2:3 Sin Nature All men have a sin nature Jeremiah 17:9; Romans 7:18; Ephesians 2:1–2; 4:18; Titus 1:15 Since the sin nature includes all men (cf. Rom. 3:10–12), it must include infants. Actual Sin Experience and Scripture testify to the fact that men commit actual sins: 1 Kings 8:46; Psalms 14:3, 143:2; John 8:24; 1 John 1:8, 10

Remedy through the Category of Sin Consequence of Sin Cross Eventual Physical Death Resurrection Original Sin (cf. Gen. 2:17; 3:3) (cf. 1 Cor. 15:21)

Immediate Spiritual Death New nature Sin Nature (cf. Rom. 3:10–12) (cf. 2 Peter 1:4) Possible Eternal Death Eternal Life Actual Sin (cf. Rom. 6:23a) (cf. Rom. 6:23b) WHAT HAPPENS WHEN AN INFANT DIES? David W. Jones, Ph.D.

Suggested Solution – “How might this issue be resolved biblically?” Scripture indicates that the reason why individuals go to hell is because of their willful sinful choices. Romans 1:20; 2:6–9; 1 Corinthians 6:9–10; 2 Corinthians 5:10; Galatians 5:19–21; Ephesians 5:5; Colossians 3:6; Revelation 20:12; 21:8; 22:15. Scripture indicates that God doesn’t impute sin to those who lack the ability or capacity to make moral choices. Numbers 26:11; Deuteronomy 1:39; 11:2; 1 Kings 14:12–13; Isaiah 7:16; Jonah 4:11; John 9:41; Romans 1:18, 21; 7:9; 9:11. Since infants lack the ability to make moral judgments, they cannot sin. Therefore, when infants die, they do not suffer eternal death but go straight to heaven. Infants are not saved because they are innocent, but because of God’s mercy and graciousness (Ephesians 2:8–9). Just as when an adult makes a profession of faith, when an infant dies, their salvation is based entirely upon the redemptive work of Christ and upon the regenerative work of the Holy Spirit. Given that election and regeneration are the work of God (John 6:44), the fact that infants lack the ability to articulate faith and repentance ought not to be viewed as problematic. Note that all individuals eventually reach a time of discretion or condition of responsibility when they are able to make moral judgments. After his point in time, an individual is able to commit actual sins and is therefore morally responsible for sin. Since moral development is not a fixed mechanical process, it seems tenuous to assign moral accountability to a specific age (i.e., a so-called “age of accountability”). Arrival at a time of discretion would entail the ability to volitionally break moral norms, evi- denced by the testimony of one’s conscience or knowledge of God’s law. Additionally, arrival at such a time would entail the ability to understand the gospel. The salvation of infants is in accord with the nature and character of God. Genesis 18:25; Exodus 34:6–7; Deuteronomy 32:4; Psalm 119:68; Job 8:3; Romans 3:5–6; 2 Corinthians 1:3 Statement of the Solution: Since infants lack the ability to make moral judgments, in God’s infinite mercy and grace, when children die, the Lord takes them straight to heaven based upon the merits of Christ’s death on the cross. WHAT HAPPENS WHEN AN INFANT DIES? David W. Jones, Ph.D.

Questions and Issues If all infants who die go to heaven, then why not kill all children as soon as they are born? Answer: Such a notion betrays misunderstanding of the gospel, as murder is a violation of God’s law (Genesis 9:5–6; Exodus 20:13; Deuteronomy 5:17). Note Paul’s response in Romans 6:1–2 If infants go to heaven then won’t they be “stuck” in a state of infancy for eternity? Answer: While Scripture does not reveal much information about the details of resurrection bodies, 1 John 3:2 indicates that “what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him.” 1 Corinthians 15:35–49; Philippians 3:20–21. How can you be assured that an infant who has passed on was elect? Answer: On account of the biblical evidence and theological framework described above, it seems best to conclude either that (a) in his providence, the Lord only allows elect infants to die, or (b) that since they cannot sin, infants are, in effect, outside the category or per- haps need of election. Note that one would want to avoid the conclusion that God elects infants who die, in a reactionary sense, for this would make the Lord the responder in salvation as opposed to the source of salvation. How do you counsel one who has experienced the death of an infant? As with any tragedy, the immediate reaction by the Body of Christ ought to be one of love, compassion, and comfort. In regard to longer term ministry to one who has experienced the death of an infant, it may be helpful to encourage focusing upon the following: Do not focus on personal loss in a selfish manner, but rather focus upon the eternal gain of the child who has attained a glorious state in Christ’s presence. Consider that a child who dies in infancy never has to experience the wickedness of the world, the temptation of sin, and the pain associated with human existence. Remember that parents will one day see lost infants at the resurrection upon the return of Christ (1 Thessalonians 4:13–18)

PASTORAL CARE FOR THE GRIEVING FAMILY MEMBER Sam R. Williams, Ph.D.

1. Connect Personally: Greet and make personal contact. Your “ministry of presence” as /shepherd is often the most important thing you provide. The time you spend with them is a precious gift in times of loss – do not be in a hurry.

2. Acknowledge Their Loss: Let them know you are sorry about their loss, that you hurt with them, and that you recognize this experience is hard.

3. Recognize and Empathize with Their Unique Emotional Response: Their particular grief reaction is unique to them, their personality, their culture, and their relationship with the deceased. There are a variety of emotional responses to loss – uncomplicated grief and mourning, shock, confusion, fear, anger, guilt – and sometimes there is simply a painful knot of emotions that is difficult to untangle. Be prepared for strong and sometimes irrational emotional responses. Your job is to keep an even keel and provide comfort, compassion and stability. When emotional responses are out of control, try to direct that person to a more private place to help them process their reactions. Bring another person with you to assist.

4. Express hope: The Gospel of God brims with hope. Remember that Christ is the fundamental answer to the problem of death, loss, and suffering. Some people know this, and some people don’t, but everybody benefits from hearing the Good News of a God whose love and power are unlimited. 1Thessalonians 4.13: “Grieve, but not like those who have no hope.” Your explication of the Gospel should be simple, and you should avoid theological abstraction and debates. Your primary task is pastoral, representing the Father of Mercies and the God of all comfort. Give basic answers to the hard questions that some people ask (“Do you think he/she is in heaven? He/she never made a profession of faith”), and let them know you are available to discuss these things at length lat- er. It is ok to say, “I don’t know, but what we do know is that God is good and we can trust him.”

5. Follow up: Let them know you will be checking back in with them with a visit or a telephone call. Grieving is a multi-faceted process, which progresses in fits and starts. Consistent pastoral care walks with the mourner through this process by checking back in with them.

PASTORAL MINISTRY & FUNERALS: SOME SUGGESTIONS Pastor Bill Bowyer “This is the hour when the loving and caring pastor is needed most. Here let him be at his best, both spiritually and scripturally.” (W.A. Criswell)

1. Suggested Order of a Funeral Service Welcome Song Scripture-Prayer Song Message Closing

2. Suggested Elements to be in the Funeral Message Comfort the family Honor the deceased - Sources: Family, Friends, Home such as pictures, trophies, and Bible Preach the gospel – The believer’s funeral should be gospel-saturated Point to the hope available in Jesus

3. Suggested Perspectives for Presenting the Gospel in the Funeral Message Be compassionate Be confident Be concise Be clear PASTORAL MINISTRY & FUNERALS: SOME SUGGESTIONS Pastor Bill Bowyer “This is the hour when the loving and caring pastor is needed most. Here let him be at his best, both spiritually and scripturally.” (W.A. Criswell)

4. Suggested Texts for Different Funeral Circumstances Child James 5:14 Romans 8:19 2 Samuel 12:19-23

Young Adult Ephesians 2:8-9 Isaiah 55:6 John 14:1-6

Middle-Aged Adult John 11:21-27 Revelation 21:4 Psalm 103:15-16

Senior Citizen Isaiah 46:4 Job 42:1-7 Revelation 14:13

Unsaved Person Hebrews 9:27 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 Proverbs 3:5-6 FUNERAL PREPARATION WORKSHEET Dr. John H. Ewart

Name of the Deceased: ______

Date of Birth: ______

Date of Death: ______Cause of Death: ______

Spouse: ______

Family Contact: ______

Phone: ______Cell: ______Email: ______

Funeral Home Name: ______

Contact Person: ______

Phone: ______Cell: ______Email: ______

Visitation / Viewing Location: ______

Visitation / Viewing Date & Time: ______

Funeral Location: ______

Funeral Service Date & Time: ______

Clergy/Person Presiding Over Service: ______

Graveside: ______

Is the church or someone else hosting a meal for the family following service? Yes No

If so, where and when? ______

Do you have a copy of the obituary? Yes No FUNERAL PREPARATION WORKSHEET Dr. John H. Ewart Additional Information about Life of Deceased:

Work / Career : ______

Military Service: ______

Civic Organizations: ______

Spiritual Background / Testimony: ______

Hobbies: ______

Favorite Scripture Passages (ask to see deceased’s Bible, if applicable): ______

Special Family Memories of Deceased: ______

Additional Special Requests From Deceased And/Or Family To Be Shared: ______

Music Selections for Service: ______POSSIBLE ORDER OF SERVICE Dr. John H. Ewart

Musical Prelude: ______

Scripture Reading: ______

To Be Read By: ______

Prayer To Be Said By: ______

Song: ______

Obituary To Be Read By (optional): ______

Eulogy To Be Shared By (can be part of sermon):______

Song: ______

Sermon To Be Shared By:______

Closing Prayer To Be Said By: ______

Benediction: ______

RECOMMENDED RESOURCES

Alcorn, Randy. Heaven. Tyndale, 2004. Biebel, David B. and Suzanne L. Foster. Finding Your Way after the Suicide of Someone You Love. Zondervan, 2005. Black, Jeffrey, S. Suicide: Understanding and Intervening. Resources for Changing Lives, 2003. Bryant, James and Mac Brunson. The New Guidebook For . B&H Publishing Group, 2007. Cox, David and Candy Arrington. Aftershock: Help, Hope, and Healing in the Wake of Suicide. B&H, 2003. Criswell, W.A. Criswell’s Guidebook For Pastors. Broadman Press, 1980. Croft, Brian and Phil Newton. Conduct Gospel-centered Funerals: Applying the Gospel at the Unique Challenges of Death. Zondervan, 2014. Donnelly, Edward A. Heaven and Hell. Banner of Truth, 2002. Hambrick, Brad Gospel-Driven Counseling for Suffering. http://www.bradhambrick.com/wp-content/ uploads/2010/03/SUFFERING_GOSPEL_article_Hambrick.pdf Hambrick, Brad Taking the Journey of Grief with Hope Seminar. http://www.bradhambrick.com/griefseminar Hobbs, James Randolph. The Pastor’s Manual. Broadman Press, 1962. Hsu, Albert Y. Grieving a Suicide: A Loved One's Search for Comfort, Answers & Hope. IVP, 2002. Lightner, Robert P. Safe in the Arms of Jesus. Kregel, 2000. MacArthur, John. The Glory of Heaven: The Truth about Heaven, Angels and Eternal Life. Crossway, 2013. MacArthur, John. Safe in the Arms of God. Thomas Nelson, 2003. Malphurs, Aubrey and Keith Willhite. A Contemporary Handbook for Weddings & Funerals: And Other Occa- sions. Kregel Academic & Professional, 2003. McDowell, Josh and Ed Stewart. My Friend is Struggling with Thoughts of Suicide. Nash, Ronald. When a Baby Dies. Zondervan, 1999. Powilson, David. Grieving a Suicide: Help for the Aftershock. New Growth Press, 2010. Segler, Franklin M. The Broadman Minister’s Manual. Broadman Press, 1968. Sproul, R.C. Unseen Realities: Heaven, Hell, Angels and Demons. Christian Focus, 2011. Tada, Joni Eareckson. Heaven: Your Real Home. Zondervan, 1997. Tautges, Paul. Comfort the Grieving: Ministering God’s Grace in Times of Loss. Zondervan, 2015.