Rap Love Songs to a Match Made in Journalism Maximize Valentine's Day Date Potential

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ARTS & LIVING VALENTINE’S DAY SPECIAL EDITION

HIGH: 44 LOW: 28 www.DailyCollegian.com TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 14, 2012 Rap love songs to A match made in journalism perfect any playlist Collegian arranges blind date for two UMass students By Stevie Mackenzie–Smith and political science double major and automatic gunfire, exorcising all By Chris Shores Collegian Staff Mike Cavaliere, a kinesiology major Collegian Staff demons” seem to somehow fit (after his hilariously persuasive per- the mood. It’s Valentine’s Day, did you hear? sonal statement appealed to our comic Another Feb. 14 is upon us, Sometimes it’s nice to take a back seat sensibilities). which means it’s time to create eric B. & Rakim – and observe the festivities from the Adriana writes for the Collegian, those last minute mix CDs and “What’s On Your Mind” morally superior position of “match- likes making jewelry, going on adven- let the lyrics of musical geniuses For all those couples that maker.” tures in the woods and reading sad confess one’s true feelings to his love to recount their first meet- From this vantage point you can books while Mike likes to lie about his or her Valentine’s date. ing, this 1991 song will be the distract yourself with the conquest of interests to score points with the ladies. But if “Grenade” or “The perfect addition to a Valentine’s COURTESY PHOTOS others, sacrificing your day to instead See “lifting heavy and taking a multi,” Edge Of Glory” aren’t hitting Day mix CD. The rap duo goes relish the possible schadenfreude of the “long walks on the beach” and “eating Freshman Adriana Lasso–Harrier and senior Mike Cavaliere met at the spot this year, perhaps a new into great detail about a fate- situation. Or to wait for the inevitable Ben & Jerry’s while watching ‘The Moti in downtown Amherst for a Valentine's Day blind date. tactic should be employed: a ful meeting with a beautiful back-slaps and congratulations of “nice Notebook’ in pajamas.” journey to the rap world to seek girl on a train. There’s even job!” from the best man at the wedding the best verses spawned by love an entire verse dedicated to a Adriana’s ideal date is Joseph at me for making her do the ‘Ask for some Persian grub and waited with struck emcees. single telephone conversation; which may or may not follow. Gordon-Levitt (or a “younger, gor- Ashley’ voice.” bated breath and a heavy optimism for talk about properly chronicling So the Massachusetts Daily geous version” of Jimmy Page) while So last Saturday, Feb. 11, the the triumph of young love. J ay -Z f e at u r i n g the moment. Collegian set up a blind date with Mike would hit it off really well with Collegian pushed Adriana and Mike Stevie Mackenzie-Smith can be Beyonce – “ ’03 Bonnie & Adriana Lasso-Harrier, a sociology Amanda Bynes, “if she didn’t get angry in the direction of Moti in Amherst, reached at [email protected]. Clyde” 50 Cent – “21 Nine years before they were Questions” Adriana on Mike Mike on Adriana riding the train in Boston. We both like savory foods proudly showing off Blue Ivy When looking across the table compared to sweet. My favorite commonality is Carter to the masses, Jay-Z and into the eyes of a Valentine’s Q: First impressions of Mike? Q: First impressions of Adriana? that we both decided to do this blind date because Beyonce collaborated on this Day date, it’s natural to feel A: I thought he looked like a nice guy, but he wasn’t A: Her elbows are way too pointy, and her facial we both thought it would be funny. Turns out it was single for Hova’s “Blueprint 2” some uncertainty. Luckily the really my type. symmetry is off by 0.034mm. I’m just messing pretty fun. album. From metaphorical high- talented lyrical wizard 50 Cent around. I thought she was a cute girl and was very speed car rides to Beyonce’s has created a blueprint of ques- Q: What did he order? approachable. She was a little shy at first, but under- Q: Did Adriana seem genuine? “Sex in the City” obsession – tions to pose to a suitor. The que- A: Fish filet. Kidding. He ordered a gyro and water, standably. I was looking forward to see if she would A: After hearing she writes articles for the Daily Jay-Z covers all bases of their ries have extraordinary range, and we split a chocolate lava cake. be more receptive to my questions and witty sense Collegian my initial thought was, “IT’S A TRAP!” relationship as he raps proudly from the simple – “If I wrote of humor. However, I could tell there was no trick to it. She’s about how he’s “got my thor- you a love letter would you write Q: What did you talk about? a very sweet girl whose college experience is just oughest girl wit me.” back?” and “If I didn’t smell so A: Our common interests, where we’ve traveled, how Q: What did she order? starting out. Jay-Z’s song samples the good would you still hug me?” we both went on this blind date just for the sheer hilar- A: The cinnamon lentil rice. I joked that it sounded beat from 2Pac’s “Me and My – to the real things that matter ity of it all and our common love of the MBTA. gross when she read it off, which in turn made her Q: What was the best thing about Adriana? Girlfriend.” But the latter rap in life: “If I got locked up and tell me she was going to order it. Mike: 0 Adriana: 1. A: I really liked that she was able to appreciate my should best be left off romantic Q:Were there any turn-off moments? sense of humor. It isn’t for everyone and at first she night playlists – unless lines See RAP SONGS on page 5 A: No, because I sort of knew from the beginning he Q: What did you talk about? seemed a little off put by it. However, after getting to wasn’t my type. like “Watch em fall screaming, A: A little bit of everything. It was a little difficult know each other a little better, she was able to joke because she is a freshman and I am a senior, but I was around with me and even put me in my place some- Q: Did you share anything in common? able to keep the conversation going for the most part. times. Nothing sexier than a girl who can take a joke. A: We both love riding trains, we have similar senses We talked about what we wanted to do for a living, of humor, we both went on this date because it’d be a food, family and where we want to live. Q: Rate the overall date out of 10. funny story. A: 7. All in all, it was a very enjoyable time and great to see how two strangers act when they are thrown Q: Did Mike seem genuine? Q: Were there any turn-off moments? A: Yes, definitely. A: Normally, you meet someone, get to know into an uncomfortable, forced, romantic atmosphere. them, and if you like them enough, ask them on a Luckily for me, they picked a beautiful girl who Q: What was the best thing about Mike? date. Because we didn’t have this luxury, we had wasn’t socially awkward, so that was also a success. A: He is so funny and easy to talk to. A very pleasant to (figuratively) feel each other out and find each dinner companion. others limits while getting to know each other. There Q: Will there be a Date No. 2? were definitely times we did not see eye to eye, but A: Maybe. It’s difficult to gauge since we are both Q: Rate the overall date out of 10. that’s expected. As for being rude or making witty in different stages in our lives. I have witnessed all A: 7. quips about my mother, there were only like 4 or 5 college has to offer and am moving on to my pro- mct instances. fessional life while she is just started witnessing all “I love you like a fat kid love cake,” ruminates 50 Cent in his velvet Q: Will there be a Date No. 2? UMass has to offer. Will we hang out again? I would cake–eating suit in front of a romantic Macy’s backdrop. A: No, I really just thought he was very friendly but Q: Did you share anything in common? hope so. As for romantically? I doubt it, mainly that’s it. A: We both love the urban atmosphere, especially because I’m graduating in May. Maximize Valentine’s Day date potential

By Garth Brody of “Big Miracle” to satisfy their need for a human pres- group of high-schoolers. Back away and try not to think 9 p.m. Tired and confused, you will wander over Collegian Staff ence – John Krasinski’s winning smile will do the rest. about it. to the Monkey Bar. Immediately disappointed by the When the lights come back on, be sure your date is 6:25 p.m. Arrive at the corner of North Pleasant disgusting atmosphere and high drink prices, you will Valentine’s Day, like any other consumer-driven greeted with an apologetic text message blaming a fam- Street and Amity Street. Your eighth date is standing cross the street and . . . holiday, can and should be approached as a competi- ily emergency or prostate flare-up. Sympathy points! diagonally across from you. You both strain to reach 9:15 p.m. Hurry over to the High Horse to meet date tive sport. Fortunately, unlike gift-based holidays like 5:30 p.m. Making your way toward Amherst, you your gloved hands toward the center of the intersection. No. 11. Buy a round and remark on the edgy décor and Christmas, the surest path to a Valentine’s victory might be tempted pass through Route 9’s family dining The longing is palpable. Unable to bear it any longer, refreshing music selection. When you find you have run doesn’t have to be paved with begrudging magnanimity. “district.” Avoid it. All you’re going to find at Chili’s, you each turn and run in opposite directions. Main out of things to talk about, tell your date you would like All you need for a successful Valentine’s Day is smart Applebee’s or Friendly’s is a drunk dad with cus- Street is now off-limits. There is no accounting for a to play billiards. When you are denied, storm outside time management. Simply plan ahead, line up a few tody problems. These chintzy mozzarella factories are date gone astray. Cross the street and continue down and make for Phillips Street. reservations and proceed to bask in the reflected glory Valentine’s danger zones – steer clear. Instead, leave a North Pleasant Street. 9:45 p.m. Arrive at Phillips Street. Here you will of the faces of the wooed. bicycle parked at the edge of the Cinemark parking lot, 6:30 p.m. At Antonio’s, your ninth date will be sit- encounter date No. 12 and on. In order for an interaction For your benefit, we have scheduled a theoretical hop on and a meet your fourth date on the Norwottuck ting at the counter next to a disgruntled looking person to constitute a “date” in this environment, you must suc- evening of Valentine’s bliss, maximizing the numerical Rail Trail. If you time it right, the two of you will catch wearing maroon. Proceed with caution. Though it is still cessfully and consensually place your mouth on another potentiality of a series of brief but effective dates. Your a lovely sunset en route to date No. 5. early enough in the evening for an act of drunken vio- person’s exposed skin. The arm, for instance – or the gender-neutral romantic journey begins at Zoe’s Fish 5:50 p.m. Run your fourth date off the road and flee lence to be fairly unlikely, one must be equally wary of midriff. Technically, verbal consent is the only neces- House in Hadley. Good luck. to North Pleasant Street. Later, blame a squirrel. Pull sober violence. Quietly order a meatless slice of pizza sary piece of conversation in this primitive variation 4 p.m. Reserved for only your most distinguished up to Fresh Side and lock up the bike, if you are so to diffuse any possible hostility. Finish eating and pay of the “date.” Continue until you have reached a previ- Valentine, the early-bird special at Zoe’s Fish House inclined; from here on out, you won’t need it. Inside, without a word. Your date will understand. ously decided upon date cap or can feel. on Route 9 can provide exactly the sort of brain food your fifth date will thankfully not be alarmed if you 6:45 p.m. Return to Fresh Side. If date No. 5 is still 3 a.m. Return home to your spouse and three chil- that this sort of mentally taxing endeavor will call for. only order tea. Take it easy and let the self-consciously at the table, deliver a passionate and unexplained kiss. dren. Service here is prompt and plentiful, so go easy on the tasteful décor do the talking. When the time is right, Say something about the president. Farewell. Garth Brody can be reached at gbrody@student. bread; you have six more dinners ahead of you. Grab make a visit “to the restroom.” 7 p.m. Arrive at Judie’s. You’ve agreed to meet your umass.edu. a handful of flowers from the centerpiece and make an 6:05 p.m. Arrive at Amherst Cinema. Date No. 6 mother for popovers. She will pick up the check. You escape while your date is medicating in the restroom. will be pensively deliberating by the framed posters. will both have a very pleasant time, but this does not Head south. You will not need to purchase a ticket – merely make count as a date – even if you’re into it. 4:45 p.m. Meet your least favorite concubine a few sharply disparaging remarks about each film 7:30 p.m. Arrive at Bertucci’s. You’ve agreed to (male or female) under the dingy golden arches of showing (“...uninspired performances,” “...walkouts meet your father for calzones. He will not pick up the McDonald’s. They will be more than impressed by the at Sundance,” “...Fox Searchlight,” etc.) and you’ll check. If you both finish your calzones, you can go flower you’ve brought them. Do not tarry here; order become a golden god in the eyes of your special film ahead and count this as a date. two Happy Meals and generously give away your toy. buff. Cite an intense bout of ennui and declare your 8 p.m. Your 10th date is waiting by the sculpted If you really want to show off your largesse, give away intention to leave and go to sleep early. Somehow, this portal on the lawn across from Bertucci’s. You take your fries as well. This is a red-letter day for your date. will seem noble. your date’s hand in yours and walk through the portal Note: McDonald’s is indisputably the most Valentine’s- 6:15 p.m. Discreetly return to Fresh Side. Announce to arrive in Narnia. You will have countless adventures friendly of the various fast food providers, because to date No. 5 that you mistakenly entered the tea closet with date No. 10, and you will each grow as individuals. Ronald McDonald is omnipresent in the restaurant, and and hurry off once again “to the restroom.” By the end of it all, you may feel more inclined to sub- freefoto.com clowns are festive. 6:20 p.m. Make it all the way to the glass doors of scribe to organized religion. Emerging from the portal, McDonald’s is one of the more classy fast food 5:10 p.m. Your third date is waiting at Cinemark. GoBerry, then realize with a sudden sense of self-revul- you will find that the several months you’ve passed in destinations to take one of your many dates. You will only need to sit through the first 20 minutes sion that your seventh date is actually a tightly huddled Narnia have only amounted to an hour on Earth.

NEWS SPORTS OPINION/EDITORIAL DailyCollegian.com

A homeless man tells his story Softball opens season 3–2 Collegian columnist Katie Landeck Collegian fashion gurus Lindsey Former track all–star and high school The Massachusetts softball team got its 2012 explains why her relationship Davis, Christina Gregg and Conor football player Chris Gilchrist talks about season underway this past weekend, as it picked doesn’t need excessive celebration Murphy chat about their favorite how he ended up staying in an Amherst up three wins and lost two at the Combat Classic on Valentine’s Day. Grammy looks with podcast host shelter after weeks of traveling. in Miami. Kevin Romani. SEE PAGE 2 SEE PAGE 8 SEE PAGE 4 www.DailyCollegian.com The Massachusetts Daily Collegian Tuesday, February 14, 2012 5 Romantic comedies: Entertaining or awful? Rom–coms warm heart and soul Clichés, clichés everywhere and not a good movie in sight

By Dane Feldman breaks them up is often realistic. By Emily Merlino Collegian Correspondent They decide they aren’t right for Collegian Correspondent each other (“Along Came Polly”), From classics like “Say Anything” someone has a mental breakdown Let’s get one thing clear: Those self-pitying and “When Harry Met Sally” to girls that wear black and post Facebook status- (“Sex and the City”), or they fight current films like “Easy A” and es on the moral perils of buying into Valentine’s constantly (“The Parent Trap” and “Just Go With It” and everything in Day are not to be condoned. between – romantic comedies are, “When Harry Met Sally”). Some normal, sane plans for the day that and have practically always been, It’s rare in a romantic comedy that celebrates a flying baby are as follows: stuff widely discredited as a genre. Yet, the prospective couple doesn’t get your face with way too much chocolate, call romantic comedies, or “rom-coms,” together in the end. It is even more one’s boyfriend and dissolve into a sobbing are both wonderfully predictable rare that a movie like that would be ball of regret after staring at a trash can full of and pathetically hilarious. successful, “The Break-Up” with Hershey wrappers. It can be said that most rom- Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston Protests or boycotts are generally rendered coms contain unrealistic scenarios. is far more successful than “In Good futile and unpleasant (too much effort, too cold, This is mostly true. People often Company” with Topher Grace and not crafty enough to make a sign, etc.) but if don’t fall in love within two weeks Scarlett Johansson. Sometimes it’s there’s one thing that should be boycotted just of meeting. Boys don’t throw rocks just about the acting. in time for the Feb. 14, it’s romantic comedies. mct at girls’ windows. They don’t stand In the case of Nancy Myers, To be blunt, they’re prescribed, humorless, outside with a boom box in order to it’s definitely about the writing and semi-insulting subpar vehicles for actresses Hugh Grant and his accent are criticized along with romantic comedies’ unrealistic profess their love. They often don’t directing. She is one of the most suc- that will make approximately 12 such mov- fantasies about true love and “the one.” Grant (right) starred in “Bridget Jones’ Diary.” share their first kiss on a pitcher’s cessful romantic comedy directors ies, date Colin Farrell and then resurface 20 mound in front of a crowd (as in and writers and is best known for years later on “Dr. Drew’s Rehab.” In honor they’re in a hot air balloon – a situation which probably wouldn’t be single and miserable. To “Never Been Kissed), but rom-coms of the upcoming suckfest that is “The Vow” “The Parent Trap,” “Father of the is just downright silly. compensate for this implausible scenario, film- do present a rather simple plotline: here’s why romantic comedies inherently suck. Bride,” “Something’s Gotta Give,” It will be incredibly difficult to meet some- makers give these women a single deprecating Boy and girl meet in what “The Katherine Heigl and your ilk, how much would “The Holiday,” “What Women one who found their significant other by fall- Holiday” calls a “meet-cute.” In the the creative minds of the past hate thee? Let us personality trait. Oh cutie, you’re so clumsy ing in love with the officer arresting them for case of “The Parent Trap,” Elizabeth Want” and “It’s Complicated.” All count the ways. and forever alone. peeing on a public monument, but romantic James (Natasha Richardson) and of these follow a typical protocol for First of all, the protagonists always have to Ugh, your job as Chanel’s publicist has got comedies lead women (and men) to believe that Nick Parker (Dennis Quaid) hadn’t rom-coms and all of these are great meet though some outrageous situation. This you so uptight. Must be why you’re single. seen each other since their divorce movies. These are movies that work doesn’t include Katherine Hepburn and Cary their soul mate is just an endearing-ridiculous- Don’t worry though, since you apparently 11 years prior. Their separated as romantic comedies. Grant falling in love while raising a leopard silly shtick away. can’t do anything solo, Hugh Grant and his twin daughters reunite them and The difference between some of named Baby. That was witty and featured Cary Furthermore, the screenwriters have got to accent are here to save the day and immediately upon seeing his ex-wife, Nick falls the most watchable romantic com- Grant in a jail cell, so it’s excusable. be the laziest people in Hollywood. Seriously, turn you into the graceful, relaxed swan you into the hotel pool, suit and all. In edies and some of the least is the No, this involves about 90 percent of watch five romantic comedies (sorry to put deserve to be. “Serendipity” John (John Cusack) fact that, after watching “Father of movies featuring someone named “Jennifer” you through that) and try to name some major The wildly unrealistic lives of the women meets Sara (Kate Beckinsale) when the Bride,” people want to watch it (Garner, Aniston, Lopez). Situations in which differences that set the heroines apart. You’ll the audience is expected to fall in love with probably only find one, maybe two. they each grab the same pair of again. It’s seriously doubtable that, these women have met their one true love isn’t escapist or fun – it’s insulting and annoy- The women are always super-duper glam, gloves in a department store. if you’ve seen “The Parent Trap” include: time travel, being chased by a bounty ing that Hollywood thinks that people are too and even though they have Crest commercial After these “meet-cutes,” you haven’t seen it just once, but hunter and married assassins (not the sexy one stupid to realize how outlandish the storyline is. teeth and a figure like Gisele, they’re (sniffle!) romance sparks in most of these instead you’ve seen it 20 times or with Brangelina). Sadly, this weekend, millions of squealing movies. Sometimes, the two sepa- And there’s a disturbing trend of women just so unlucky in love. Additionally, these even 30. I’ve probably seen it at women always somehow have the most fabu- young women will presumably mob the movie rate and spend the duration of the least 50. The same goes for “Meet finding love with a friend while mourning their theaters and sob into their no-butter popcorn as movie waiting to find each other husband/boyfriend’s death. Sorry, but if every lous jobs in Manhattan. Oh, you’re fresh out of the Parents,” “Pretty Woman” or Channing Tatum embarks on the super-difficult again (as in “Serendipity”). What woman’s boyfriend moved past their tragic your master’s program in Nebraska? Here’s the “Wedding Crashers.” task of making Rachel McAdams fall in love is so key about rom-coms, though, ice skating accident by making out with the Chief Curator position at the Met! Majored in is that we know almost indefinitely These are movies you’ve seen woman’s best friend, that would be nearly as journalism and getting drunk at the University with him even when he doesn’t have his shirt going into the theatre to see the film 100 times (and you probably secret- coyly cute as Hollywood seems to think it is. of South Florida? Vogue columnist! It’s proba- off. that the couple will wind up together ly know all the lines). Why? Because Romantic comedies, however, expect ble that thousands of Lisa Frank-loving middle Everyone likes entertaining amusement, just before the closing credits. these are films that work. They’re women to put themselves in Heigl’s shoes and school girls wanted to be lawyers after watch- but this desire should result in the form of a Before these couples unite in legendary because they are simple, picture themselves meeting a caveman-esque ing how much fun Elle was having studying for belly-laugh producing Judd Apatow flick or a the end, however, these movies they are memorable and they are Gerard Butler in a hot air balloon, falling in the bar in “Legally Blonde.” well-scripted drama, not a bi-monthly insult all present to us a problem. These perfectly familiar. love within two hours and parachuting to the Revelation: none of it is real. starring someone named Jennifer. couples suffer break-ups, potential Dane Feldman can be reached at ground while simultaneously getting married. These women would not have these jobs, Emily Merlino can reached at eamerlin@ break-ups and intense fights. What [email protected]. Nobody can even hear anyone else talk while apartments or bodies, and if they did, they student.umass.edu. Eminem featured on rap love song playlist

rub me on my back and say, but perhaps one’s suitor won’t LOVE RAP SONGS from page 1 method Man featur- ‘Baby it’ll be OK.’” notice this small detail. ing Mary J. Blige – sentenced to a quarter century, “I’ll Be There For You/ lupe Fiasco – “Paris, eminem – “Space could I count on you to be You’re All I Need” Tokyo” Bound” there to support me mentally?” Awkward silence on the By the end of the night, a And of course, no rap post-date car ride? Pop on this date might be seeking some love songs playlist is com- form of commitment. There’s plete without a twisted ll Cool J – “I Need track to get those duet juices no better time to play a song Marshall Mathers melody. Love” flowing. that promises some interna- Most of Eminem’s verses cen- For anyone having trouble Inspired by Marvin Gaye’s tional loving. ter around his self-conscious expressing themselves to their love song “You’re All I Need This Lupe Fiasco song was nature and anger at a lover date, pop on “I Need Love” To Get By,” Method Man released in 2008 but has the he is convinced is betraying and let LL Cool J speak for teamed up with Mary J. Blige feel of a classic 90s rap beat. him. But with a chorus line you: “When I’m alone in my to create this 1995 love rap “Let’s go to sleep in Paris like “I’m a space bound rocket room sometimes I stare at the single. “Back when I was and wake up in Toyko,” goes ship and your heart’s the moon wall / And in the back of my nothin, you made a brother the chorus. “Have a dream in and I’m aiming right at you” mind I hear my conscience feel like he was somethin,” New Orleans, fall in love in how can this song not tug at mct call / Telling me I need a girl raps Method Man. “That’s Chicago.” Of course, Fiasco the heartstrings? who’s as sweet as a dove / For why I’m with you to this day, LL Cool J’s “I Need Love” is on the list of rap love songs to listen to on V– is taking all the trips solo and Chris Shores can be Day. Other artists included are 50 Cent and Method Man. the first time in my life, I see boo, no frontin / Even when is just with his love in spirit reached at cshores@dailycol- I need love.” the skies were gray, you would (“Wherever I go, she goes”) legian.com. The singles manifesto: Calling all haters: V–Day vent

By Danny Marchant rather than let it consume you. 4. Avoid romantic com- Collegian Staff And if you’re single, it’s even edies A guide to celebrating solo more imperative that you leave You may be tempted to watch Love is in the air. It’s that your room. There’s no shame in fictional depictions of romance special day of the year where being single on Valentine’s Day, By Anna Meehan else to have value. If it is not over how the day goes is you. in order to fill the gaping hole in Cupid helps you find your soul- and staying in and avoiding all Collegian Correspondent possible to celebrate Valentine’s So instead of using it as a day your own heart, but be warned: mate. Or for some, it’s just that human contact is a guarantee Day with someone that you care to feel down, make it a day of this is a big mistake. Watching As Valentine’s Day arrives, day concocted by a cabal of that you will remain single. So a romantic comedy will either about, celebrate it with your- relaxation where you enjoy your so does the inevitable hoard self! Take advantage of all of card companies in order to make go out and enjoy yourself in convince you that life works favorite things or even just hang of disgruntled, lonely singles. the delicious candy that’s lining money. spite of all the hugs and kisses like a movie or that you will Every year these people come the walls of grocery stores, turn out with friends. Whichever way you choose around you. never be as awesome as Joseph out of the woodwork and want on a favorite movie and relax. In the end, one of the best to look at it, Valentine’s Day has Gordon-Levitt. If you have to nothing more than to make To quote actor RuPaul, “If you parts about being single on become an over-hyped holiday. 2. Celebrate a differ- watch a movie, make sure it isn’t everyone around them hate Feb. don’t love yourself, how in the Valentine’s Day is knowing that Whether you’re nursing a bro- ent holiday any of the following: a 1980s Once out and about, it is 14 just as much as they do. hell you gonna love somebody ken heart or simply can’t stand John Cusack movie, any film it will come around again next important to maintain a strong While it is understandable else?” the sight of candy ones, having where Colin Firth isn’t wearing a that a holiday that is celebrat- year. By then, there is a chance mental defense against the When it comes down to it, a good time on Valentine’s Day sweater or the work of Katherine ed primarily by couples could that the romantic day that many onslaught of love, merriment and Valentine’s Day is one of the can be hard for the non-relation- Heigl. Come to think of it, you make a good chunk of the popu- singles want to experience with shouts of “Happy Valentine’s best opportunities for self-care. ship folk. Here’s how to have a should always avoid the work of lation feel isolated, it is impor- Day!” One option in accomplish- Many people in relationships another person could be a real- successful Anti-Valentine’s Day Katherine Heigl. tant to remember that there are ing this is by being very rude to stress out about things like what ity. So instead of spending the in five easy steps. plenty of good things about it everyone you encounter. kind of gift their partner would day being the Robbie Hart who 5. Watch “Alien” too, regardless of relationship The second, far more posi- 1. Go out With romantic comedies out status. like. As a result, they end up writes bitter wedding songs or tive option, involves creativity. Staying indoors and trying of the question, what’s left to In the United States, it is needlessly worrying and often- the Bridget Jones who spends Find out what other events have to avoid all those pinks and watch? There is the perfect anti- hard to find any holiday that has times spend a lot more money the day lip-syncing “All By transpired on this day in the past reds may seem like a good idea. Valentine’s Day movie, and it is not been completely commer- than they should. So instead of Myself,” be the kind of person and celebrate those instead. For going out and buying someone a But hiding from Valentine’s called “Alien.” cialized, and Valentine’s Day you would take out to dinner. example, on the TV show “30 gift you hope they will like, buy Day won’t make it go away. Ridley Scott’s sci-fi/horror is no exception. This leads to Anna Meehan can be reached It’s always best to tackle the Rock,” Liz Lemon celebrates the the gift that you would like for birth of a famous suffragette masterpiece is your typical boy- people being bombarded with at [email protected]. problem head-on. Face the beast images of happy couples, and yourself. Or, if you are the kind named Anna Howard Shaw on meets-girl story but with some with that, a potential feeling of person who likes buying for Valentine’s Day. You too can minor differences. The boy is of loneliness for those not in a others, have a Valentine’s Day employ this tactic. an alien and the girl is a space relationship. party with other single friends, trucker that the alien wants to Because of this, singles tend complete with festive games 3. Examine the holiday kill. While the rest of the world to forget a very important thing: and themed foods. If celebrating a different event is desperately searching for they are not the only ones who Although Valentine’s Day doesn’t work, you can always love or mending their shattered are by themselves on Valentine’s gets incredibly hyped up by the examine the one everyone else is hearts, invite your fellow anti- Day! All over the world, there media, it important to keep in celebrating. One of the central fig- Valentine’s Day revelers over for are many people who are spend- mind that many things are glam- ures associated with Valentine’s some M&Ms and “Alien.” ing the day without a signifi- orized to the point where they Day is Cupid. Cupid is a small After following these five cant other. So rather than turn- can be blown out of proportion. child who lurks amongst us, shoot- steps, Valentine’s Day should ing February into a month-long In fact, these expectations can ing arrows at people he thinks be a little easier to get through. love-hating pity party, it could set couples up for disappoint- should fall in love. While doing a And if you end up meeting your help to look around and realize ment. The important thing for child’s bidding may be just anoth- soul mate anyway, you’ll have that singles are not “alone” after singles to remember is that, er Sunday in North Korea, this is a a much better story to tell the all. like any other day during the kidmoxie/flickr democracy. The Founding Fathers grandkids. If you are single, it is impor- year, Feb. 14 is what you make would not want our love lives to Danny Marchant can be In order to make the most out of a single Valentine’s Day, go outdoors tant to recognize that you do it. In a relationship or not, the be ruled over by a tiny romantic reached at dmmarcha@student. and stay active. Don’t let being alone keep you down! not need to be with someone only person who has control tyrant. umass.edu.