Diving in Cozumel Equipment Repair Media Inclusion life beyond wheels Sex, Wheels & Relationships: Women’s Pleasure Christine & Jerrod: Living with Passion TO SUBSCRIBE, CLICK HERE newmobility.com FEB 2017 $4 TAKE IT FOR A SPIN! VMI invites you to take one of our wheelchair WIN A YEAR OF VMI accessible vans for a spin, and enter to win a year of VMI van payments valued at $12,000.* VAN PAYMENTS *on the purchase of a new wheelchair accessible vehicle. Get 1-on-1 Assistance Call our Customer Advocate Center at 1-855-VMI-VANS to get all your questions answered Visit a VMI Dealership Visit your local mobility van dealerto experience the VMI difference firsthand. We’ll Come to YOU. Can’t make it into a dealership? We’re happy to pick you up or bring a VMI van right to your doorstep. ENTER ONLINE: ENTER BY PHONE: VMIVANS.COM 855-VMI-VANS (864-8267) CONTENTS VOLUME 28 NUMBER 281 February 2017 life beyond wheels FEATURES 14 DIVE, DIVE! BOB VOGEL discovers that Cozumel just might be the best location for quality scuba diving, friendly service and underwater enjoyment. 19 GETTING EQUIPMENT How do you succeed in getting the equipment you want and need? Connections, politeness and tenacity. BY KENNY SALVINI. 37 EMERGING MEDIA FORCE The Ruderman Foundation is taking the lead in advocating for people with disabilities on the national stage. BY ALLEN RUCKER. COVER STORY SEX, WHEELS AND RELATIONSHIPS 22.0 24 In NM’s 21 previous issues on disability and sexuality, the focus has often centered on men, mainly because more males sustain SCIs and more is writ- ten about them. This issue is definitely for women. MARY TOLAN profiles Christine Selinger, whose job and personal life are immersed in sexuality, and REGAN LINTON lets us in on some frank sex talk about women and sexual pleasure. Cover and Contents Photos by N Maxwell Lander DEPARTMENTS 4 BULLY PULPIT 12 SCI LIFE 5 CONTRIBUTORS 13 EAT WELL, LIVE WELL 6 LETTERS 42 OUTDOOR TRACKS 8 NEWS 47 CLASSIFIEDS 10 EVERYDAY ADVOCACY 48 CRIP BUZZ BULLY PULPIT life beyond wheels FEBRUARY 2017 NEW MOBILITY IS THE MONTHLY MAGAZINE OF PRESIDENT & CEO: JAMES WEISMAN VICE PRESIDENT OF PUBLICATIONS: JEAN DOBBS EDITORIAL Forgiving Ourselves PUBLISHER: JEAN DOBBS In our journeys from disability to wholeness, determined that my friend, the pilot of the EDITOR: TIM GILMER often what holds us back is the inability to plane, was at fault for crashing in the moun- MANAGING EDITOR: JOSIE BYZEK forgive ourselves. When accident or disease tains. Yet I alone knew that it was my desire to SENIOR EDITOR: IAN RUDER strikes suddenly, it is difficult to accept that visit a girlfriend that led us into the dangerous SENIOR CORRESPONDENT: BOB VOGEL there may be no good reason why it hap- box canyon on a hot day with too little lift, too making travel easy for individuals with spinalEDITORIAL cord disabilitie SUBMISSIONS:s pened. And so we go searching for a reason, little power in the single-engine Cessna, with [email protected] a cause that can lead to understanding and, a pilot with too little experience. When I woke perhaps, acceptance. Sometimes it is slow in up, paralyzed, knowing my friend had died coming; and sometimes it seems like it may in the crash, I blamed myself, and continued CUSTOMER SERVICE never arrive. It is then that we turn inward and blaming myself for more than five years. Toll-free 800/404-2898, assign the ultimate cause — I am to blame. ext. 7203 Blaming oneself may happen subcon- sciously, lurking like a shadow just below When the problem is soul-deep the surface of our thoughts. We may feel its — I am to blame, I got what I ADVERTISING SALES presence from time to time, yet we go on day deserved — it feels like there 718/803-3782 to day, acting like everything is all right. NATIONAL SALES MANAGER: It can happen to anyone for any reason: is no escape. MEGAN LEE, EXT. 7253 You have had two drinks at a party and drive AD MATERIALS: home, slightly tipsy. An animal darts in front DEANNA FIKE, EXT. 7250 Then came the real crash — the one that of you, you swerve, the car rolls, and you wake took my entire being down after five years of PRODUCTION up in the ICU, paralyzed. Or you fall asleep in running from self-guilt. In some ways it was PRODUCTION MANAGER: DEANNA FIKE the back seat, tired from working a long day, the driver swerves, the car rolls, and you wake worse than the physical crash. I knew that, CIRCULATION up in the ICU, paralyzed. Or, exhausted from despite my paralysis, I could get around, live a life, do things. But when the problem is soul- CIRCULATION MANAGER: a long trip to see relatives, you return home, deep — I am to blame, I got what I deserved — BEVERLY SMITH go to sleep, and wake up the next morning, CIRCULATION COORDINATOR: paralyzed for no apparent reason, then go to it feels like there is no escape. MARIA KURTZ the ICU, where you learn a rare disease has I finally turned from self-blame and asked God to forgive me. It took a few more POSTMASTER: Send address changes to New Mobility, 120-34 attacked your spinal cord. Queens Blvd, #320, Kew Gardens NY 11415. Without clear understanding, you can years before I could believe that I had been Subscription rates: $27.95/year; $35.95/year in Canada; forgiven, for everything — all my selfish $67.95/year international via airmail. always find a reason to blame yourself: You New Mobility (ISSN 1086-4741), Volume 28, Issue 281, is should not have had those two drinks; you behavior — out of God’s love. Then, and only published monthly by United Spinal Association, 120-34 Queens should have stayed alert instead of falling then, could I make peace with myself. Blvd, #320, Kew Gardens NY 11415. Copyright 2017, all rights reserved. Reproduction without asleep in the back seat; you were living a No, I am not to blame. That blaming inner permission of any material contained herein is strictly prohibited. We welcome comments; selfish life and the disease is some kind of voice did not come from love. Like the Good we reserve the right to edit submissions. punishment sent from above. Book says: “Love keeps no record of wrongs.” Periodicals postage paid at Flushing, NY and additional mailing offices. In my case, the Civil Aeronautics Board — TIM GILMER www.newmobility.com 4 NEW MOBILITY CONTRIBUTORS life beyond wheels FEBRUARY 2017 An actor, educator and writer, Regan Linton is also artistic CONTRIBUTING director of Phamaly Theatre Company in Denver. She has EDITORS performed professionally with Oregon Shakespeare Festival, La Jolla Playhouse, Pasadena Playhouse, Big-I (Osaka, Japan), MICHAEL COLLINS Mixed Blood, and Phamaly, among others. Her writing has MIKE ERVIN been featured in national TCG Diversity Salons, the Hollywood ROXANNE FURLONG Fringe and the Chalk Repertory Theatre in Los Angeles. She is RICHARD HOLICKY also an adaptive swimmer, golfer, yogi, guest radio host and PRISCILLA MALTBIE Broncos fan. She splits her time between Denver and Bozeman, ALLEN RUCKER Montana, where she enjoys life with her partner, Will, and dog, ROBERT SAMUELS Zeta. Visit her website at www.reganlinton.com. ERIC STAMPFLI ELLEN STOHL BOB VOGEL Mary Tolan teaches journalism at Northern Arizona University. LOREN WORTHINGTON A journalist and fiction writer, Tolan’s articles have been pub- lished in Arizona Highways, Teaching Tolerance, New Mexico, Phoenix, Matador, Trail Runner, and Horizon magazines, and in newspapers, including the Arizona Republic, Los Angeles Times, Albuquerque Journal, Santa Fe Reporter, Milwaukee Journal, and COMMUNITY PARTNERS High Country News. She writes a monthly column in the Arizona KIM ANDERSON Daily Sun, “The Long & Winding Road.” Tolan became familiar CHRISTIAAN “OTTER” BAILEY with wheelchair and accessibility issues due to her father’s mul- MARTY BALL tiple sclerosis. She lives in Flagstaff, Arizona. TIFFINY CARLSON LAWRENCE CARTER-LONG RORY COOPER JASON DASILVA A semi-retired adrenaline junkie turned writer, Kenny Salvini DEBORAH DAVIS lives in Sumner, Washington. He is a C3-4 complete quad from TOBIAS FORREST a snow skiing accident in 2004. He amuses himself by writing a blog, “Typical Guy, Atypical Situation,” which started as a way JENNIFER FRENCH to cope with life in a wheelchair but has recently transformed ALLISON CAMERON GRAY into a chronicle of his evolution as an advocate. In 2013 he MINNA HONG started The Here and Now Project, a social support network for MARK JOHNSON paralysis survivors and their families in the Northwest. GARY KARP NANCY BECKER KENNEDY BRITTANY MARTIN LINDA MASTANDREA Gerry Dickerson has been involved in the complex rehab/ LYNN MURRAY durable medical equipment field for more than 40 years. His ASHLEY LYN OLSON career has included design, development and custom fabrica- TEAL SHERER tion of systems and devices for persons with disabilities. He was TARI HARTMAN SQUIRE a member of the original question development group for the Rehabilitation Engineering and Assistive Technology Society MITCH TEPPER of North America ATP/ATS exam and has also served on the REVECA TORRES board of directors and executive committee of RESNA and the ANTHONY TUSLER board of directors of The National Registry of Rehabilitation KARY WRIGHT Technology Suppliers. He can be reached at [email protected]. FEBRUARY 2017 5 Parenting, Year One Gulf Coast Jewel Aging with Siblings The Paralympics: Highs and Heartbreak in Rio LETTERS life beyond wheels Such a great article! newmobility.com DEC 2016 $4 Seeing is Believing Quad Tips Help EDITOR: The following letter was written to Such a great article! — seeing the Thanks for the ideas [“5 ‘Quad Tricks’ for CBS News’ 60 Minutes and also sent to NEW Paralympics through Seth McBride’s eyes Managing a Day at Home Solo,” NM blog, MOBILITY.