Driver's Book Helps Parents Become Coaches
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C M C M B8 Daily Record, Morris County, N.J., Sunday, July 10, 2005 Y K Y K B8 Daily Record, Morris County, N.J., Sunday, July 10, 2005 COACHING YOUR OWN KIDS Parent-coach checklist Adapted from “Coaching Kids for Dummies” by Rick Wolff Driver’s book helps parents become coaches n Have you talked to your kids about coaching their teams? It should be a joint decision. Former NHL defenseman n Do you have enough time? Com- pare your work and social schedule with shares his ideas on how that of the league. Remember to count Morristown- both practice and games, as well as to instruct young players Beard girls hock- off-field time. ey coach Bruce n Are you organized enough to be BY JANE HAVSY Driver goes over the head coach? Every team needs DAILY RECORD a drill during a assistants and other volunteers. practice in n Do you know the rules of the Alan Beneroff keeps a book under- December of game? neath the pads and skates in his hockey 2004. Driver’s n Can you keep your emotions in bag. A first-year coach for the Morris- book, “The Baf- check? Youth coaches can’t yell, or act town Junior Colonials squirts last win- fled Parent’s nervous on the sidelines. ter, Beneroff picked up a copy of “The Guide to Coach- n Can you be a teacher and discipli- Baffled Parent’s Guide to Coaching ing Youth Hock- narian at the same time? Youth Hockey.” The advice proved ey,” gives n Are you prepared to deal with invaluable. instruction on accusations of favoritism? Can you han- Bruce Driver and Clare Wharton co- running practices dle other parents? wrote the book, a primer for newcomers and explains to the view from the bench. Driver clear- techniquest to Advice from the field ly explains techniques and offers sugges- parents interest- “My job is to teach 30 kids how to tions for instruction. Driver even dis- ed in coaching. play hockey. Winning wasn’t really our cusses how to organize a team and run a concern. It was developing the kids. I practice, skills he picked up over the DAILY RECORD put 10 times more energy into a prac- years but hadn’t put into practice until FILE PHOTO tice than a game. It was the practices March 2000. we put together and the heart the Driver was talked into coaching by kids put into playing the games that his dentist, Dr. Alan Krause of got us there in the end.” — Alan Ben- Montville. Krause was taking a Floyd eroff of Morris Twp., head coach of Hall house league all-star team to a tour- Morristown Junior Colonials squirts nament, and needed an assistant. golf and basketball. As a result, Driver played, were huge attributes for me,” drills, focusing on fundamentals, offense ice hockey team. Two practices, a handful of games, and Wharton had a template to follow. said Driver, who now lives in Montville. and game situations. Coaches can pick and a few months later, Driver was a full- Wharton, a Parsippany resident and “I have good attention to detail, and I and choose, tailoring their practices to “Some of it’s just going to be trial fledged assistant on his son Dillon’s first- freelance journalist, used interviews knew I could handle teaching kids.” their players’ age and skill. and error. It’s your child’s personality ever team, again at Floyd Hall in Mont- with Driver as a basis for the text por- Beginning with an introduction to the “If you don’t know what you’re doing, and your personality.” — Suzanne clair. Morristown-Beard launched its tions. Driver drew up the drills himself sport itself, the book explains how to and you’re kind of thrust into that role, it Sweeney of Madison, girls athletic girls team at almost the same time, with based on what he’d used and observed organize a team, run a practice, and even does a great job of outlining all the things director, physical education teacher and Driver as an assistant and his daughter over the years. proper behavior for coaches. There is you really need to think about,” said coach at The Peck School in Morristown Whitney on the inaugural roster. On the ice in Toronto at age 3, Driver also a chapter focusing on gender issues, Beneroff, whose team reached the Mor- “Evaluate the experience. If it’s get- “I was helping coach a team when I’d soaked up hockey knowledge like a which is particularly important since ris County Youth Hockey League cham- ting to the point where they’re having a never run a practice or anything before,” sponge. Driver honed that keen sense of many ice hockey teams are coed. pionship game. “It’s like a manual, but difficult relationship with their kid said Driver, who will coach Dillon on the the game at the University of Wisconsin, Area hockey fans may recognize Alex until you apply it you don’t know what to because they’re coaching, taking it off Montclair Blues Bantam A-Team this and on the Canadian Olympic team in Smigelski of Mountain Lakes in many of expect. The kids aren’t going to follow the field, that’s got to be a warning sig- winter, as well as the Morristown-Beard 1984. The smaller-than-average defense- the technique photos — he’s the one in the lines exactly. They’re not going to be nal that it’s not working out. Remem- girls. “It was kind of unique. ... I jumped man went on to a 14-year career in the the Delbarton jersey — in addition to the textbook. That’s where coaching comes ber: it’s about my kid. It’s not about in with both feet.” National Hockey League, winning the Morristown-Beard girls and 13-year-old in.” me.” — Dr. Joseph Nazzaro, the pro- The book is part of McGraw-Hill’s Stanley Cup with the New Jersey Devils Dillon Driver. gram director and a head coach for the series of Baffled Parent’s Guides, which in 1995. The second half of the book is dedicat- Jane Havsy can be reached at (973) Randolph boys lacrosse program, and also includes lacrosse, baseball, softball, “My vision and anticipation, when I ed to dozens of detailed diagrams of 428-6682 or [email protected]. chairman of the Randolph Recreation Advisory Committee Mr. P’s son wasn’t very good and weren’t perfect either. “(Your kid) needs to hear from other DiLeo didn’t care for the game all that We were kids. Hofmann people as well. You have to have confi- much, he started every day at And sometimes, kids need to dence in the coaches that will be third, always batted cleanup and find themselves away from their coaching him. If you don’t, it’s very diffi- CONTINUED FROM / B1 had to listen to his father scream parents, just like I did. CONTINUED FROM / B1 cult.” — John Yachmetz, CPA and coor- dinator of the Randolph Bulldogs foot- from the dugout with every error I’ve got a ton of baseball knowl- ball program It was getting late and Coach and strikeout. edge to offer my son, and he loves And if the leagues didn’t exist the way wanted the game to be official, Even though I always vowed to hear me tell stories and teach they do nowadays ... well, I shudder to “Put yourself in (your parent’s) shoes but first we had to finish our not to treat my son that way, I him… at home. But when his think what no organized leagues would do before you react to anything, any situa- inning before the home team got realized while coaching Haden friends are around, he just wants to our children. tion, anything they say. See where its last licks. So to expedite the that it didn’t matter what I to be a kid without having to Take my kids, for example. When I used they’re coming from first, without react- process, I was told to swing and thought, only what his perception worry if dad is listening to every to get home from school, I’d grab a bite to ing rashly. That’s one thing I should’ve miss… and make it look believ- was. word or critiquing every play. eat and head out to the schoolyard two done more.” — Whitney Driver of able. He was the one that would hear Childhood goes by way too fast, doors away and meet the same 9-10 guys Montville, who played softball for her As my 10-year-old eyes welled it from his teammates if they and I just want to give my chil- every day. We’d play football, stickball or mother, Tracy, and ice hockey for her up with tears, I slowly walked to thought he was receiving special dren every chance possible to be full-court basketball — whatever was in father, Bruce. the plate without my usual swag- treatment. He was the one that a kid before the real world comes season — literally for hours. ger and excitement. The umpire had to listen to me correct him. calling. Maybe Haden will ask me Now? Kids would get home and head “The common thread of sport can asked if I was OK, and I said some He was the one who was supposed to coach him again in the near right to the video games or SpongeBob bring you closer, (but) don’t put too sand was in my eye.