COLD OPEN WE SEE A MONTAGE OF VARIOUS 80’S TRENDS AS ADULT ADAM SPEAKS. ADULT ADAM (V.O.) No decade in the 20th century was more defined by fads and bad fashion trends than the 80s. And we never had to go too far to find someone who was more willing to jump on each and every cultural bandwagon than my big brother, Barry. Like, break dancing. EXT. SCHOOL PLAYGROUND - DAY BARRY AND A GROUP OF GUYS ARE BREAK DANCING ON A LARGE PIECE OF LINOLEUM. BARRY Big Tasty knows how to dance, too, boyeee! BARRY ATTEMPTS TO DO SOME FLASHY MOVES AND WE HEAR A LOUD TEARING SOUND AS HIS PARACHUTE PANTS SPLIT. HIS EYES BUG OUT AND HIS FRIENDS ARE HYSTERICAL. ADULT ADAM (V.O.) Pac Man. INT. VIDEO ARCADE - DAY BARRY IS PLAYING PAC MAN, WITH A DOZEN QUARTERS LINING THE BOTTOM OF THE SCREEN AND HE’S SINGING THE “PAC MAN FEVER” SONG. WE HEAR THE SOUND OF PAC MAN DYING AND BARRY BANGS HIS FISTS ON THE CONSOLE. THE QUARTERS FALL ON TO THE GROUND, SCATTERING, AS KIDS ALL AROUND HIM DIVE FOR THE QUARTERS. BARRY No! No! No! "Rubiks' Revenge" 2.

ADULT ADAM (V.O.) Footloose and Flashdance. INT. GOLDBERG’S GARAGE - DAY BARRY IS DANCING TO THE “FLASHDANCE” THEME, WEARING A SLEEVELESS T-SHIRT, HEADBAND, JEAN SHORTS AND LEG WARMERS. HE SITS IN A CHAIR AND PULLS A ROPE FROM ABOVE. A BUCKET OF WATER FALLS DOWN AND THE BUCKET HITS HIM IN THE HEAD. BARRY OW!!! ADULT ADAM (V.O.) But nothing quite affected the nation, or Barry, like the maddening puzzle of squares from Romania: Rubik’s Cube. INT. GOLDBERG’S LIVING ROOM - DAY MURRAY, ERICA AND POPS ARE SITTING AROUND WATCHING TV. MURRAY IS ALSO HOLDING A NEWSPAPER. BEVERLY COMES DOWNSTAIRS.

BEVERLY Have any of you seen Barry? It’s too quiet around here and my supermomma sense tells me something’s wrong. Very wrong. MURRAY Who? BEVERLY Barry! Your first born son? Scrumptious smile. Delicate China doll skin. (MORE) The Goldbergs "Rubiks' Revenge" 3. BEVERLY (CONT'D) Exquisitely curly hair that would make Michael Jackson jealous. Ring a bell? MURRAY Oh. Yeah. MURRAY GOES BACK TO READING THE PAPER. ERICA I think he went downstairs to watch cartoons. You know, because he’s too dense for anything else. BEVERLY WALKS TOWARDS THE BASEMENT DOOR. INT. GOLDBERG’S BASEMENT - DAY WE SEE BARRY SITTING ON A COUCH FROM BEHIND. HE ISN’T WEARING A SHIRT AND IS HUNCHED OVER. HE APPEARS TO BE FIDGETING WITH SOMETHING IN HIS HANDS. BEVERLY IS SLOWLY AND QUIETLY WALKING DOWN THE STAIRS, SUSPICIOUS OF WHAT MAY BE GOING ON. BARRY Ooh! Yeah! C’mon, baby! YES! Almost there! Almost there! A LOOK OF HORROR COMES OVER BEVERLY’S FACE AND SHE PUTS HER HANDS OVER HER MOUTH. BARRY (CONT’D) Oh my gosh! YES! I’m gonna beat it! BEVERLY SCREAMS AND RUNS UPSTAIRS. BARRY LOOKS OVER HIS SHOULDER, SHAKES HIS HEAD AND GOES ABOUT HIS BUSINESS LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED. INT. GOLDBERG’S LIVING ROOM - DAY BEVERLY IS SCURRYING BACK AND FORTH IN A PANIC, FANNING HER FACE WITH HER HANDS, NERVOUSLY. The Goldbergs "Rubiks' Revenge" 4.

POPS Bev, what’s wrong, dear? You look very pale. BEVERLY (talking to herself) I’m not ready for this. I’m not ready for this. OK. OK. He’s a growing boy. It’s perfectly normal and healthy... No! NO! He’s still my scrump-dilly-icious baby boy! And..EWW!! ERICA Mom! What’s going on?? BEVERLY (composing herself) I....I have seen something I cannot un-see. ERICA What do you mean? Was Barry actually doing homework? BEVERLY Oh, no. It wasn’t homework. BEVERLY STARTS BREATHING HEAVILY AND SHE FANS HERSELF EVEN FASTER. SHE PRETENDS TO FAINT. EVERYONE GETS UP TO ATTEND TO HER. MEANWHILE, BARRY SLOWLY WALKS INTO THE ROOM, HEAD DOWN, POUTING, ARMS AT HIS SIDE. HE’S IN HIS UNDERWEAR - AND HOLDING A RUBIK’S CUBE IN ONE HAND. HE’S OBLIVIOUS TO HIS MOTHER ON THE FLOOR. HE HOLDS THE CUBE IN THE AIR AND HE LOOKS AT IT. IT’S NEARLY COMPLETE. The Goldbergs "Rubiks' Revenge" 5.

BARRY I couldn’t do it. I failed. I’ve been at it for two days and I couldn’t solve it. I’m such a failure. ERICA Wait. That’s what you were doing this whole time downstairs? BARRY Of course. What did you think I was doing? BEVERLY IS NOW LOOKING UP AT BARRY WITH A CONFUSED, EMBARRASSED EXPRESSION ON HER FACE. ERICA Uhhh...(she’s pointing to Beverly on the floor) BARRY How do they do it? Those little Japanese kids on the news can do it in like 10 seconds! (pretending to manipulate the cube quickly) This this this this this this...DONE! It’s like..dark magic! POPS Let me see that. HE TAKES THE CUBE OUT OF BARRY’S HAND AND LOOKS AT IT INTENTLY FOR A MOMENT. HE THEN PLAYS WITH IT FOR ABOUT 5 SECONDS, SOLVES IT AND HANDS IT BACK TO BARRY. The Goldbergs "Rubiks' Revenge" 6.

POPS (CONT’D) Here. What was so hard about that? BARRY DAMMIT! BARRY STOMPS UPSTAIRS LIKE A 3-YEAR-OLD.

END OF COLD OPEN The Goldbergs "Rubiks' Revenge" 7.

ACT ONE

ADULT ADAM (V.O.) It was April tenth, nineteen eighty something, and while the world, and my brother, were succumbing to Rubik’s Revenge, I had my own crisis of confusion going on. EXT. GOLDBERG’S DRIVEWAY - DAY ADAM AND HIS FRIEND, CHAD KREMP, ARE PLAYING BASKETBALL AS BEST AS TWO SHORTER-THAN-AVERAGE SUBURBAN KIDS CAN PLAY. CHAD HAS THE BALL AND ADAM IS DEFENDING. CHAD TRIES A SPIN MOVE BUT NAILS ADAM IN THE FACE WITH AN ELBOW AND ADAM DROPS, SCREAMING IN PAIN, HOLDING HIS NOSE. ADAM OW! OWWWWW! OWWWWWWWW! CHAD Oh, man. Adam, I’m sorry. I...I saw Larry Bird make that move the other night on TV. ADAM PULLS HIS HAND AWAY AND REVEALS A BLOODY NOSE. The Goldbergs "Rubiks' Revenge" 8.

CHAD (CONT’D) Ooh. Man. You’re bleeding. You should get your mom. ADAM Oh, crap! ADULT ADAM (V.O.) Nary an emergency could go by without my mom unleashing her inner EMT. Boo boos? Easy. Bump on the head? An ice pack was there before you could blink, along with a plate of cookies. Scraped knee? Band-aids, ointment and a barrage of kisses. But when it came to the site of blood... INT. GOLDBERG’S KITCHEN - DAY BEVERLY IS BUSY BAKING AND SINGING TO HERSELF. SHE PULLS A CASSEROLE DISH OUT OF THE OVEN. AS SHE TURNS AROUND, ADAM AND CHAD COME RUNNING INTO THE HOUSE. WHEN SHE SEES ADAM, SHE FREEZES IN PLACE, HER EYES BUG OUT AND SHE DROPS THE CASSEROLE DISH ON THE FLOOR. SHE STARTS BACKING AWAY, AS IF SHE'S COME FACE TO FACE WITH AN EVIL CREATURE IN A HORROR MOVIE. ADAM Mom! Mom! BEVERLY What....happ?....face....blood...(gagg ing) ohmygod I'm gonna puke. SHE LOOKS VERY PALE AND COVERS HER MOUTH. The Goldbergs "Rubiks' Revenge" 9.

ADAM (pointing to his nose, as if he needs to state the obvious) Mom! Nose? BEVERLY (still staring at Adam in horror, holding herself up by grabbing on to the kitchen counter) MURRAY! MURRRRAYYYYY!!!! ADAM Mom! JUST THEN, ERICA AND LAINEY WALK IN THROUGH THE BACK DOOR. ERICA SEES ADAM AND RUSHES OVER. ERICA Oh my god! Adam, your nose! What happened? SHE GRABS A TOWEL, OPENS THE FREEZER AND GRABS SOME ICE CUBES TO PUT INSIDE THE TOWEL. SHE QUICKLY GRABS A PAPER TOWEL IN THE OTHER HAND. SHE PLACES THE TOWEL GENTLY OVER THE BRIDGE OF HIS NOSE AND PINCHES HIS NOSTRILS SHUT WITH THE PAPER TOWEL. ADAM (Pointing to Chad) Well, Mr. Bird over here tried to pull a move for the highlight reel and failed! Miserably! CHAD LOOKS SHEEPISH AND LOWERS HIS HEAD, TRYING NOT TO LAUGH. ERICA Mom? (pause) Mom?! BEVERLY APPEARS TO BE IN A TRANCE. JUST THEN, MURRAY COMES HURRYING IN. The Goldbergs "Rubiks' Revenge" 10.

MURRAY What? What? What's going on, Bev? (pauses) Bev? BEVERLY ISN'T ANSWERING. MURRAY LOOKS OVER AT ADAM AND SEES THE BLOODY PAPER TOWEL. MURRAY (CONT’D) Oh boy. Let me see there, pal. HE HAS ERICA PULL THE ICE PACK AWAY. MURRAY (CONT’D) Hmmm... well, it doesn't look too bad. I don't think it's broken, so you're OK. (turning around to look at Beverly) Heh. Your mom might not be, though. ADULT ADAM (V.O.) Yep. While my mom was a certified parenting super hero, she also had her one weakness. Her kryptonite. And that was the site of blood. WE SEE A MONTAGE OF SCENES OF THE KIDS AND MURRAY WITH BAD CUTS, HAVING BLOOD DRAWN, HOCKEY FIGHTS ON TV, ETC. AND EVERY OTHER SHOT IS OF BEVERLY FAINTING. WE FLASH BACK TO ERICA TAKING BEVERLY BY THE ARM AND LEADING HER TO THE TABLE. ERICA Mom, come with me. Lainey! Wine! Stat! LAINEY SCURRIES TO GRAB A BOTTLE OF WHITE WINE IN THE REFRIGERATOR. SHE FINDS A GLASS IN ONE OF THE CABINETS AND RUNS OVER TO THE TABLE WHERE BEVERLY IS SITTING. SHE QUICKLY POURS BEVERLY A GLASS. The Goldbergs "Rubiks' Revenge" 11.

ERICA (CONT’D) (talking to Beverly like a baby) Heeeerrrrrre ya go, momma. That's it. Sip slowly. Gooooood girrrrrl! BEVERLY SIPS THE WINE AND SHE SEEMS TO SNAP OUT OF IT. LAINEY Mrs. Goldberg, are you ok?? MURRAY Beverly and blood don't jive, Lainey. She would make a terrible vampire. FLASH TO: BARRY'S BEDROOM - DAY BARRY IS SITTING ON HIS BED, RUBIK'S CUBE IN HAND. HE LOOKS EXHAUSTED, ANGRY AND SWEATY. HE'S WORKING THE CUBE FURIOUSLY, SCOLDING IT. ADULT ADAM (V.O.) Meanwhile, my brother's obsession was starting to weigh heavily on him. As always, there was one person who always seemed to be around at the right time to get us out of a funk. BARRY You're mine now, cube! You're mine! I will dominate you, dammit! HE'S CLEARLY NOT SOLVING IT AND STARTS SHAKING IT AS HE MANIPULATES THE CUBE FASTER AND FASTER. BARRY (CONT’D) ARRRRRRRRGH! The Goldbergs "Rubiks' Revenge" 12.

HE SLAMS IT ON THE FLOOR. BARRY (CONT’D) (defeated) I can't. I can't do it. POPS SHOWS UP IN THE DOORWAY OF BARRY'S ROOM. POPS What's going on in here? It sounds like a torture chamber or something. BARRY Pops, what's wrong with me? I can't stop thinking about this damn cube. And I feel like I'm too stupid to solve it. It's taking over my life! POPS Well, it does seem like you've been spending an awful lot of time with this toy of yours. BARRY It's not a toy. It's like a key to unlock the secrets of the universe! If I can figure this thing out, nothing can stop me. POPS BENDS DOWN AND PICKS UP THE CUBE. POPS I still don't see what's so tough about this thing. HE SOLVES IT AGAIN IN JUST A FEW SECONDS. The Goldbergs "Rubiks' Revenge" 13.

BARRY Are you for real?? Stop doing that! How do you do that? Why must you taunt me with your genius? Teach me! Teach me the ways of the cube. Please. Be my Yoda. POPS Your what?? Yodel? THE SCREEN PAUSES. ADULT ADAM (V.O.) OK! Honk if you loved Yodels as much as I did when you were a kid! THE SCREEN UN-PAUSES. BARRY No! Yoda! Don't you pay attention to my nerd brother's obsession? He's the Jetty Meister! POPS The Jetty Meister? OK. I can be...that. (pauses to think) Come with me. THEY BOTH GET UP OFF THE BED AND WALK OUT OF THE ROOM. INT. HALLWAY - DAY BARRY AND POPS ARE WALKING TOWARDS THE STAIRS. POPS By the way, how's school going? The Goldbergs "Rubiks' Revenge" 14.

BARRY (smiling and with innocence) Oh. I haven't done any work in at least two weeks. Solving this is way more important than anything to me now. POPS Don't you think your mom's going to find out and hit the roof? BARRY Yeah. Probably. FADE TO: INT. GOLDBERG'S KITCHEN - DAY BEVERLY IS STILL SITTING AT THE TABLE, POURING ANOTHER GLASS OF WINE. MURRAY IS SITTING NEXT TO HER. ADULT ADAM (V.O.) Meanwhile, my mom was hitting rock bottom herself. Questioning her very purpose in life. BEVERLY What kind of mother can't take care of her little bupsey's bloody nose? I shot three little monsters out of my hooha. I've wiped gallons of snot off their noses. Changed a bazillion poopie diapers. A little blood shouldn't bother me. The Goldbergs "Rubiks' Revenge" 15.

MURRAY Bev, everyone has their weaknesses. You're being way too hard on yourself. BEVERLY AM I? AM I? Really? My own son was practically bleeding to death in front of me and all I could do was stand there and hold down my lunch! MURRAY You did look pretty green... BEVERLY You're useless! BEVERLY BANGS THE TABLE WITH HER HAND, GETS UP AND STOMPS OUT OF THE KITCHEN. FADE OUT. The Goldbergs "Rubiks' Revenge" 16.

ACT TWO EXT. BACKYARD - DAY BARRY IS STANDING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE YARD ON TOP OF A MILK CRATE, EYES CLOSED, SMILE ON HIS FACE, AND HOLDING A RUBIK'S CUBE OUT WITH ONE HAND. THE OTHER HAND STRETCHED OUTWARD IN THE SAME POSITION. POPS IS WEARING HIS BATH ROBE, PACING BACK AND FORTH, WITH HIS HANDS BEHIND HIS BACK. ADULT ADAM (V.O.) One thing you could always count on was that Pops always had our back, no matter how stupid the cause - or the person. And as long as no one got hurt. Besides, Pops was way wiser than any of us, so he often had fun at our expense without us realizing it. POPS One! BARRY THROWS THE CUBE IN THE AIR AND TRIES TO CATCH IT WITH THE OTHER WHILE HIS EYES ARE STILL CLOSED. HE COMPLETELY MISSES. OUT OF NOWHERE, A CANE - NOT THE BAMBOO KIND THEY USE IN THAILAND AS PUNISHMENT, BUT AN ALUMINUM ONE YOU'D BUY AT CVS FOR AN OLD PERSON - SMACKS HIM IN THE STOMACH. BARRY OW! What the hell?? The Goldbergs "Rubiks' Revenge" 17.

POPS Again! One! BARRY MISSES THE NEXT ONE. A CANE LANDS A SHOT ON BARRY'S SHIN. BARRY Dammit! Stop that! FLASH TO: INT. ADAM'S ROOM - DAY ADAM IS HOLDING HIS TRUSTY VIDEO CAMERA, WATCHING THE ACTION IN THE BACKYARD AND GIGGLING. ERICA IS WALKING BY HIS DOOR AND STOPS. ADULT ADAM (V.O.) Of course, we had our own little bit of fun at my brother's expense whenever we got a chance. ERICA What are you doing now? ADAM You gotta see this! Pops is getting all Mr. Miyagi trying to show Barry how to solve that Rubik's Cube. ERICA Doesn't that idiot realize that everyone who can solve that baby toy just reads the book? ADAM Sis, do you really want to spoil the fun? The Goldbergs "Rubiks' Revenge" 18.

ERICA Good point. Keep filming. FLASH TO: EXT. BACKYARD - DAY POPS You're not focused. You need to be one with the cube and be completely in the moment. Like I am...all the time. POPS TAKES A SIP OF BRANDY OUT OF A SMALL GLASS. POPS (CONT’D) Now focus and try it again. One! BARRY MIRACULOUSLY CATCHES IT. HE OPENS HIS EYES TO SEE THAT HE REALLY DID DO IT. HIS EYES BUG OUT WHEN HE SEES IT WAS TRUE. BARRY YES! I did it pops! I did it! WHACK! THE CANE HITS HIM IN THE THIGH. BARRY (CONT’D) Hey! What was that for?? POPS Sorry. Old man reflexes. FLASH TO LATER: EXT. BACKYARD - DAY AGAIN, BARRY IS STANDING WITH HIS EYES CLOSED. POPS IS HOLDING A COMPLETED RUBIK'S CUBE BEHIND HIS HEAD. POPS Now what color is facing the back of your head? Concentrate. The Goldbergs "Rubiks' Revenge" 19.

BARRY Yellow! Definitely...yellow. POPS LOOKS AT THE CUBE WITH A CONFUSED LOOK, BUT IMPRESSED, AND SHAKES HIS HEAD “YES,” CONFIRMING WHAT BARRY SAID. POPS Hmm. That's seven in a row. I think we're getting somewhere. BARRY DOES A FIST PUMP. ADULT ADAM (V.O.) And just like that, my big brother was on his way to becoming Luke, no, Cube Skywalker. FADE TO: INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY - DAY ADAM IS WALKING WITH DANA IN BETWEEN CLASSES. HE HAS A SMALL BAND-AID ACROSS THE BRIDGE OF HIS NOSE. ADULT ADAM (V.O.) Something was out of whack in my universe. My smother, someone who would stand her ground in front of a charging bull in order to protect her young, was afraid of blood. But, I knew one person who could make sense of it all for me. Or at least make me feel better. The Goldbergs "Rubiks' Revenge" 20.

ADAM I just don't get it, Dana. My mom is the strongest human being in the world - in an almost freakish way. Like..like a blonde Hulk! Yet, she was completely helpless when I needed her the most. I thought my nose was going to fall off and I'd have no way to wear my glasses! DANA Lots of people are scared at the sight of blood. Maybe she needs to do something to face her fears. You know, like skydiving? ADAM Why would anyone jump out of a perfectly good airplane and head towards a certain death?? DANA (rolling her eyes) Clearly not the best analogy. Look, you know how some people are afraid of dogs? Or scared of the dark? How do you overcome that? You have to face your fears. Head on. Then, it's not so bad. The Goldbergs "Rubiks' Revenge" 21.

ADULT ADAM (V.O.) My girlfriend, Dana. Beauty AND brains! ADAM That's genius! That's...that's something Yoda would say! DANA You are SUCH a dork. (she elbows him to show him she's joking) THEY CONTINUE DOWN THE HALLWAY. FLASH TO:

INT. CLASSROOM - DAY WE SEE BARRY IN SCIENCE LAB. EVERYONE HAS SAFETY GOGGLES ON AND THERE ARE EXPERIMENTS GOING ON. BARRY HAS A BEAKER OF LIQUID OVER AN OPEN FLAME. HE'S PAYING NO ATTENTION TO IT, AS HE'S ENGROSSED IN HIS RUBIK'S CUBE AGAIN. THE LIQUID BEGINS BOILING OVER. BARRY IS OBLIVIOUS. THE TEACHER IS NOT. THE TEACHER TRIES TO GET HIS ATTENTION. ADULT ADAM (V.O.) Meanwhile, my brother's cube obsession was about to get him schooled - and not in a good way. SCIENCE TEACHER Barry? (pause) Barry? (pause) BARRY!! BARRY IS STARTLED AND DROPS THE CUBE ON THE FLOOR. HE TURNS AROUND TO FIND HIS SCIENCE EXPERIMENT GOING HAYWIRE. HE FREAKS OUT, TRYING TO STOP THE MESS FROM GETTING WORSE. BARRY OH NO! OH NO! OH NO!! The Goldbergs "Rubiks' Revenge" 22.

AS BARRY TRIES TO CLEAN UP THE MESS, HIS TEACHER BENDS DOWN TO PICK UP THE CUBE. HE HOLDS IT IN HIS HAND AND SHAKES HIS HEAD IN A DISAPPROVING MANNER. SCIENCE TEACHER Mr. Goldberg, when you are done, you can make your way to the principal's office. Oh, and you have failed this lab. BARRY But.. SCIENCE TEACHER No buts. Office! Now! HE HANDS BARRY THE CUBE. AND IT'S SOLVED. SCIENCE TEACHER (CONT’D) And I don't ever want to see this in class again. BARRY (looking at the cube in disbelief) Oh, come on!! ERICA JUST HAPPENED TO BE WALKING BY THE ROOM TO CATCH THE END OF BARRY'S MELTDOWN. A LOOK OF PITY COMES OVER HER FACE AND SHE CONTINUES ON DOWN THE HALL AGAIN. FLASH TO: INT. PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE - DAY MURRAY, BEVERLY AND BARRY ARE ALL SITTING IN FRONT OF PRINCIPAL BALL'S DESK. HE IS SEATED BEHIND THE DESK, HANDS FOLDED. The Goldbergs "Rubiks' Revenge" 23.

ADULT ADAM (V.O.) It was, once again, time for my parents to pay a friendly visit to Principal Ball. I often wondered if he would start charging my parents rent for being in his office so much... PRINCIPAL BALL Now, Mr. and Mrs. Goldberg, as you can imagine, this little incident could have resulted in a lot of damage to our new science lab or even grave bodily harm to other students. BEVERLY Oh, c'mon now, Principal Ball. You're being very dramatic here. This was just an innocent mistake by a very intelligent young man. Barry has always been a well-behaved student who should be honored as a role model and not treated as a juvenile delinquent. MURRAY Yeah. What she said. PRINCIPAL BALL Yes, normally I would have, of course, agreed with you both. (MORE) The Goldbergs "Rubiks' Revenge" 24. PRINCIPAL BALL (CONT'D) However, several of Barry's teachers have expressed concern the past couple of weeks that he appears to be very distracted and unfocused in class. And I think we all know why. PRINCIPAL BALL PULLS OUT THE RUBIK'S CUBE FROM HIS DESK DRAWER AND HOLDS IT OUT. BARRY SHRINKS DOWN IN HIS CHAIR. BEVERLY HAS A LOOK OF SURPRISE ON HER FACE. PRINCIPAL BALL (CONT’D) Barry has been missing assignments and barely passing any of his tests because he has been, shall we say, distracted. BEVERLY AND MURRAY BOTH STARE BARRY DOWN AND HE SHRINKS DOWN INTO HIS CHAIR. FADE TO BLACK: The Goldbergs "Rubiks' Revenge" 25.

ACT THREE INT. ADAM'S ROOM ADAM IS PLAYING WITH HIS CASTLE GREYSKULL AND HE-MAN FIGURES WHEN MURRAY STOPS IN. ADULT ADAM (V.O.) I wasn't the only one who was concerned about my mother's odd freak out earlier in the week. My dad was looking for a way to cheer her up. But just like her birthday, Mother's Day or Valentine's Day, he came to one of us for suggestions. MURRAY Hey, buddy. Whatcha doin? ADAM Well, Skeletor is holding She-Ra prisoner in the bowels of his castle and.. MURRAY Yeah, yeah. Ok. Great. Listen, your mom is feeling pretty bad about what happened the other day. (MORE) The Goldbergs "Rubiks' Revenge" 26. MURRAY (CONT'D) She says she feels like a failure and whatnot. You got any ideas how we can fix this before she crumbles? ADAM Funny you should mention that, dad. I've been wondering the same thing and I think I've got just the plan. You see, we need to get her to stare her fears straight in the eye... (voice fades out while Adam continues talking) ADULT ADAM (V.O.) And that's when our brilliant plan was launched. FLASH TO: INT. BARRY'S ROOM - DAY BARRY IS LAYING ON HIS BED, LOOKING AT THE CEILING, POUTING. ERICA KNOCKS ON THE DOOR JAM. SHE IS HOLDING SOMETHING BEHIND HER BACK. ADULT ADAM (V.O.) Meanwhile, Erica was starting to feel bad for Barry. So she did the big sister thing and came to his rescue. ERICA Hey, dummy. BARRY What do you want? Go away. The Goldbergs "Rubiks' Revenge" 27.

ERICA Be nice. I'm not here to pick on you. I was just checking to see how you were doing. BARRY Mom and dad grounded me for a week and took away my Rubik's Cube. Life couldn't possibly get worse for me right now.

ERICA Uh, yeah, I'm pretty sure it could....but, never mind that. I actually brought you a present. BARRY What, more misery? ERICA No. Here. ERICA HANDS BARRY A BOOK CALLED “THE SIMPLE SOLUTION TO RUBIK’S CUBE.” BARRY Wait. Where did you get this?? ERICA You ever hear of a book store, genius? The Goldbergs "Rubiks' Revenge" 28.

BARRY Erica! This is amazing! You’re amazing! I don’t know how to thank you! ERICA Well, just show that damn cube who’s boss. BARRY Oh, I will. But, mom and dad took mine away, so I guess I’ll have to wait, huh? ERICA That’s the other half of my present. Here. SHE PULLS OUT A RUBIK’S CUBE AND TOSSES IT TO HIM AND HE CATCHES IT. HIS FACE LIGHTS UP EVEN MORE. ERICA (CONT’D) This never happened. ADULT ADAM (V.O.) And just like that, big sis saved the day - while Barry began studying harder than he ever had before. WE FLASH TO BARRY SITTING AT HIS DESK EYES DARTING BETWEEN THE BOOK AND THE CUBE, WHILE MANIPULATING THE CUBE. FLASH TO: INT. GOLDBERG'S KITCHEN - DAY MURRAY IS SITTING AT THE TABLE READING THE NEWSPAPER AND BEVERLY IS COOKING AS ADAM STROLLS INTO THE ROOM. MURRAY LOOKS OVER AT HIM AND ADAM GIVES HIM A WINK. The Goldbergs "Rubiks' Revenge" 29.

ADULT ADAM (V.O.) With our plan in place, it was time to reel my mother in and make her right again. ADAM Hey, ma? I sorta forgot to mention this the other day, but our class is holding a bake sale tomorrow and I signed you up to make your special cupcakes and also volunteer to help. BEVERLY Oh, schmoopie, I would love to! Consider it done. MURRAY Yeah, yeah, that sounds like, uh, fun. I’ll drive you there. MURRAY AND ADAM LOOK AT EACH OTHER AND NOD. FLASH TO: INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY POPS IS SITTING ON THE COUCH, READING THE NEWSPAPER, WHILE ERICA IS WATCHING TV. BARRY SPRINTS DOWN THE STAIRS, AND JUMPS INTO THE MIDDLE OF THE LIVING ROOM. ADULT ADAM (V.O.) After receiving Erica's gift, it was no surprise that my big brother spent the next several hours trying to solve one of the world's - well, his world's - greatest mysteries. The Goldbergs "Rubiks' Revenge" 30.

BARRY TA DAAA!! Ladies and gentle old men.... I did it! BARRY PULLS OUT THE CUBE HE WAS HIDING BEHIND HIS BACK. POPS Wow! Way to go, Barry! How'd you do it? BARRY (winking at Erica) Let's just say, I got in touch with my feminine side. POPS LOOKS THOROUGHLY CONFUSED AND LOOKS AT ERICA. ERICA OK, that makes no sense. POPS (silently mouthing to Erica) What?? ERICA SHAKES HER HEAD AND SHRUGS. BARRY Never mind that. The point being is that I am no longer slave to this thing. I have conquered it, plain and simple. POPS Well, kid, I'm proud of you. You stuck with it and you prevailed. Way to go. The Goldbergs "Rubiks' Revenge" 31.

BARRY Thank you. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some homework to catch up from the past month. BARRY RUNS UP THE STAIRS. FLASH TO: INT. BARRY'S ROOM - DAY BARRY IS SITTING AT HIS DESK, WRITING IN A NOTEBOOK. ERICA PEEKS IN THE DOOR AND KNOCKS. BARRY TURNS AROUND IN HIS CHAIR. ERICA So, did you really figure it out? BARRY Nah. I got tired of reading after the first few pages. I figured out that you can just take the stupid thing apart and put it back together any way you want. It was for the best. But thank you. ERICA You're welcome. FLASH TO: INT. SCHOOL GYMNASIUM - DAY ADAM, MURRAY AND BEVERLY ARRIVE AT THE ENTRANCE OF THE SCHOOL GYM, ONLY TO SEE SIGNS FOR THE ANNUAL BLOOD DRIVE. BEVERLY IS HOLDING A CONTAINER OF CUPCAKES. SHE LOOKS HORRIFIED WHEN SHE REALIZES WHERE SHE IS. The Goldbergs "Rubiks' Revenge" 32.

ADULT ADAM (V.O.) With dad as my backup, we arrived at the perfect place for my mom to conquer her biggest fear. And there was no turning back. BEVERLY What the **** is this?? ADAM Mom, look, we need to do this. I know you feel terrible about what happened the other day. Now it's my turn to help you. ADAM TAKES HIS MOM'S HAND AND LEADS HER INSIDE. SHE HAS A LOOK OF DREAD ON HER FACE. BEVERLY What are we doing here? ADAM You're just volunteering to help. Sometimes the people that give blood feel a little dizzy afterward and need a sugary treat. You can help them and your delicious cupcakes will make them feel better. BEVERLY But...there's so much.....blood...and gore here. I can't watch. The Goldbergs "Rubiks' Revenge" 33.

MURRAY Bev, we know you can do it. And we're going to be right here with you. You just have to promise us: no fainting. ADAM You can do it, mom. I know you can. BEVERLY TAKES A DEEP BREATH, AND MARCHES FORWARD, WITH A DETERMINED LOOK ON HER FACE AND HEAD HELD HIGH. ADAM AND MURRAY SMILE AT EACH OTHER. FLASH TO: INT. SCHOOL GYMNASIUM - DAY WE SEE A VIDEO MONTAGE OF PROGRESS: BEVERLY DRY-HEAVING WHILE HELPING A GIRL. THEN TURNING HER HEAD AWAY, EYES CLOSED AS A NURSE STICKS A NEEDLE IN ADAM'S ARM. HESITATINGLY WALKING ANOTHER KID TO A TABLE AND GIVING HIM A CUPCAKE. ASSISTING A NURSE, PUTTING A COTTON BALL AND BAND-AID OVER ON A GIRL'S ARM. AND, FINALLY, BEVERLY DONATING BLOOD, GLEEFULLY SQUEEZING A RUBBER BALL IN HER HAND, GIGGLING LIKE SHE'S NOW HAVING FUN. ADULT ADAM (V.O.) Mission. Accomplished. MURRAY AND ADAM HIGH FIVE EACH OTHER. FADE TO BLACK.

END OF ACT III The Goldbergs "Rubiks' Revenge" 34.

TAG INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY BARRY, ERICA AND POPS ARE WATCHING TV WHEN A COMMERCIAL FOR THE TOMY PYRAMINX (A PYRAMID PUZZLE SIMILAR TO THE RUBIK'S CUBE) COMES ON. COMMERCIAL V.O. The Pyraminx is a challenging game for people with a lot... of self... control. THE ACTOR GIGGLES LIKE A MADMAN, WHILE HANDLING THE PYRAMINX.

BARRY'S EYES OPEN WIDE. HE LEAPS OFF THE COUCH AND RUNS TOWARD THE FRONT DOOR. BARRY I HAVE TO GET TO THE STORE!! ERICA RUNS AFTER HIM. ERICA Barry! NO! STOP! FADE TO BLACK.

THE END