Entertainment

Home , Jenny from the Block, Marlon Wayans, The Ladykillers

ENTERTAINMENTpage 23 Technique • Friday, March 26, 2004 • 23 Tisk Tisk...Tish? Beesball comeback Southern rock and blues band Baseball ends its ACC losing streak ENTERTAINMENT Tishamingo releases self-titled CD. Is by beating Wake Forest. How did it worth the money? Page 28 they fare with Georgia? Page 40 Technique • Friday, March 26, 2004

Not quite Clerks, still feels like Smith Super headliners planned to perform The usually silent funnyman sits down with the ‘Nique regarding his latest film Jersey Girl Many big-name concerts will go By Jason Allen on sale this Saturday. David Bowie Staff Writer will be here May 8, and tickets range from $38 to $98. Better Than Ezra Director Kevin Smith’s work will be at the Roxy May 22, with doesn’t automatically conjure up tickets only $20. For the Old-School- ideas of love and devotion to chil- ers, Hall and Oates will resurface dren. His characters have unknow- June 28 and tickets will go from ingly participated in corpse sex in $40.50 - $55.50. The Dave Mat- Clerks, given meaning to Chasing thews Band will be at Hifi-Buys Amy’s “fingercuffs” and outraged the Amphitheater July 27 and tickets Catholic Church with Dogma. are $40 for the lawn or $57.50 for Yet, Smith ventures into differ- reserved seating. ent territory in Jersey Girl, attempt- ing to create a film that pleases both DramaTech opens his hard-core devotees and mainstream family audiences while keep- new production ing Silent Bob entirely behind the camera. DramaTech theater opens their With the overpublicized Benni- new production today. Pippin is fer relationship since terminated, Ben the story of a young prince who is Affleck and Jennifer Lopez’s other trying to find the shortcut to a hap- movie partnership finally sees a the- py life. He tries to find it in the atrical release. world through war and bodily temp- Thankfully, Jenny from the block tations, including overthrowing his receives minuscule screen time. New father King Charlemagne. Ultimate- Jersey denizen Ollie Trinke (Affleck) ly Pippin discovers this happiness is makes his living manufacturing B.S. readily available in the simple life of as a public relations flak who spins By Frank W. Ockenfels/Sony Music his home. Pippin is playing in the the trivial movements of celebrities Kevin Smith directs Ben Affleck and Liv Tyler in his latest film Jersey Girl. Smith was in Atlanta recently to promote DramaTech Theatre, located in the into newsworthy material. his new film, which takes a backseat to his usual controversial comedies. Be happy though; J. Lo has a small part. same building as the Ferst Center. A December 1994 relationship The show runs March 26-27, 31, with New York City gal Gertrude two movies, Kevin Smith chain- frizzy, windswept hair. The thirty- muse for the project, responded af- and April 1-3. Pippin will also run (Lopez) blossoms into an engage- smokes Marlboro Ultra Lights, flick- three-year-old straddles his chair in ter reading the script, “It ain’t a in the Ferst Center for the Arts April ment and pregnancy. By the mo- ing ashes into a drinking cup resting reverse, tilting backward, rocking, Valentine to me. I die in the first 8-10. ment J. Lo. wails, “I’ve always been on the table at the Ritz. and even getting up on his knees fifteen minutes and you wind up thin and now I’m a disgusting pig,” He holds the cigarette as a prop, without missing a beat. with Liv Tyler somehow.” be forewarned that relief is just around gesturing with his hands enthusias- His mallrat outfit consists of a As more of a representation of Ladies First Tour the corner. tically for em- red, white and black jersey and a the fatherhood ex- comes to ATL Suffice it to phasis while he pair of calf-length jeans that perience, only a sin- say that eventu- “In retrospect, would I speaks and ig- don’t quite reach his gle, true Smith Flogging Molly will appear with ally, poor Ollie noring the an- slip-on checker- household event Throw Rag at the Roxy Saturday, finds himself rais- have gone a different noying low-key board shoes. Black- made it into the fi- March 27. The show starts at 9 p.m. ing his daughter way even in a post- jazz music framed glasses circle Jersey Girl nal cut. What might and tickets are $17.50. For a com- as a single father, pumping his eyes, and a ttttt seem insignificant pletely different sound, check out but he can’t jug- Gigli climate...?” through the scruffy beard covers Starring: Ben Affleck, “until you have a kid, the Verizon Ladies First Tour, fea- George Carlin, Jennifer gle both the Kevin Smith overhead speak- his cherubic, less a daughter particu- turing Beyonce, Alicia Keys and Lopez, Liv Tyler stresses of a child Writer/Director er. As arguably doughy face. Thanks larly, is you do have Missy Elliott. That show is at 6 p.m. and his job’s press the worst part of to Dr. Atkins, the to wipe from front March 28, at Philips Arena. Be ready conferences. his itinerary, the noticeably slimmer Smith has lost to back.” to empty your pockets, though, as How will the interviews and fifty pounds since last April. Knowing the inevitable baggage tickets start at $62.50 and go to BMW-driving big shot handle the barrage of tape recorders nonethe- The inspiration for Jersey Girl brought into an onscreen match-up $77.50. adjustment of moving in with his less engage the always-outspoken di- came from Smith’s own family while of Lopez and Affleck, Smith still suburban elderly father to bring up rector. raising a daughter, and he admits doesn’t question his decision. a little girl? He nods his head in agreement that he lacks the creativity required “In retrospect, would I have gone We all thought he Now embarking on a regional as if listening to and comprehend- to come up with material not from a different way even in a post-Gigli press tour after taking a break from ing a question before it has been real life. fell off face of Earth journalists over the course of his last finished, running his fingers through His wife, told that she was the See Jersey, page 31 On Sunday, March 28, comedi- an Pauly Shore will perform at The Punchline at 7 p.m. and 9 p.m. Shore is returning to the stand-up Atlanta’s Indigo Girls release new true-to-self CD/DVD routine that launched his film ca- By Hillary Lipko Indigo Girls continue to offer the reer and is fresh off his directorial Staff Writer same rootsy and insightful music debut for the film, “You’ll Never that first won them their devoted Wiez in this Town Again,” a dark The Indigo Girls have always been audience. All That We Let In has comedy with multiple cameos. Tick- a bit of an anomaly in the music been met with mixed reviews from ets are $25. Head to industry. They fans and critics www.punchline.com. were singing fe- alike, but all male-centric and seem to agree Make sure to watch politically con- “The limited edition that the Girls scious folk mu- deserve praise for Cirque Du Soleil sic back when the release of All That staying true to airwaves were their musical Cirque Du Soleil is opening its dominated by We Let In is a must- roots in an in- Atlanta show Alegria this weekend. brooding rock have for any Indigo dustry that often This human circus features amaz- music performed Girls fan...” demands slick ing acts and lively performances. by bands that production and The performance will run through were predomi- user-friendly lyr- April 18. Shows are generally at 4 nately male. In ics. p.m. and 8 p.m., but check spite of this, the Atlanta duo found That said, it should be kept in www.cirquedusoleil.com for a com- a niche audience and a record con- mind that All That We Let In is not plete list of times. Tickets start at By Frank W. Ockenfels/Sony Music tract. an album that is best enjoyed through $50 and run to $190 for VIP seat- The Indigo Girls have a long history of producing women-centric folksy Fifteen years and over a dozen ing. The show will be at the Cum- rock. Their new album has an optional DVD with live footage. live and studio releases later, the See Indigo, page 29 berland Galleria. 24 • Friday, March 26, 2004 • Technique ENTERTAINMENT

Q.E.D. Original Comic Strip

by Brian Lewis ([email protected])

technique meetings...tuesdays @7...room 137 flag building...free pizza ENTERTAINMENT Technique • Friday, March 26, 2004 • 25 Hanks, Wayans deliver empty comedy with Ladykillers By Jason O’Neal Miller both the original material and a long This embellishment denies the Contributing Writer list of producers. The sensation of replay value that the subtlety of O, their comedy has always been sub- Brother, Where Art Thou and Fargo. I tried to laugh when it felt aptly fantastic, neither dry nor I cannot count how many moments propriate. I searched for some grace- slapstick. I have spent quoting The Big Leb- fully framed arrangement within owski. I would entirely attribute the redundant images and narrative. But transparency of The Ladykillers to I could find no evidence of Joel and the collaboration of producers if not Ethan Coen in The Ladykillers, which for the comparably clumsy Intoler- Ladykillers opens this weekend and stars Tom ttttt able Cruelty (also collaborative and Hanks. adapted). There is an obvious dis- The remake of the 1955 British Starring: Tom Hanks, comfort towards unfamiliar mate- film of the same name began as a Marlon Wayans, Irma P. rial. writing project (to be directed by Hall But their movies have always been Barry Sonnenfeld) for the brothers, pleasantly awkward. This compe- and is the first of their eleven projects The Ladykillers foregrounds this ma- tence develops naturally from de- for which they share directing cred- turity with an excess approaching votion to their characters. The its. Their previous ten projects cred- gimmick. There is no sense of depth difficulty of both Intolerable Cruel- ited Joel as director and Ethan as or focus. Something proposing hu- ty and The Ladykillers is awkward- producer. mor is exaggerated in close-up and ness without affection. The Despite writing, directing and repetition. Any intended profundi- filmmakers do not love their char- producing credits, the Coen broth- ty retreats toward childish scam of ers have obviously been diluted by likeness to the heist’s hollowed plot. “ The last thirty minutes feels like a six minute clip seen five times over, and the payoff is terribly disappointing. ”

acters and neither does the audi- Photo Courtesy Buena Vista Publicity ence. Even the cuddly Marva Mun- Marlon Wayans plays the not-so funny “inside man.” Most of the comedy son (Irma P. Hall) is treated as for the film comes from the interactions between Wayans and his landlord. delusional and overzealous. Tom Hanks plays Professor G.H. ment. Again, his intelligence and tain Girl (Diane Delano) have IBS Dorr, Ph.D. (whose excessive ini- affinity for Edgar Allen Poe would (Irritable Bowel Syndrome) and ex- tials would be hilarious if not point- be a rich texture if not caricatured cessive facial expressions to prove it. ed out so blankly by Munson’s by reiteration. Lump (Ryan Hurst) is too stupid to friend), a conniving, puffing eru- This cartoon does not seem be stupid and even the passively qui- dite and mastermind of the mini- Hanks’ fault, but it is rarely the cen- eted General (Tzi Ma) is annoying heist. tral character for whom we watch a when verbal. Where is the Steve He rents a room from Munson, Coen movie. Dorr’s consorts are Buscemi of Fargo, the John Good- whose open-earthed basement is ideal unbearably magnified versions of a man of Lebowski and the John Tur- for tunneling into the cash vault of a Coen supporting cast. Gawain Mac- turro of Brother? Photo Courtesy Buena Vista Publicity nearby floating casino. He and his Sam’s (Marlon Wayans) wit is too The Coens also have difficulty Tom Hanks plays Goldthwait Higginson, Ph.D., a parading professor team pose as period instrumentalist obscene to endure. Mr. Pancake (J.K. who is really the brains behind the predictable heist in Ladykillers. musicians to retain use of the base- Simmons) and his life-partner Moun- See Ladies, page 29

sliver box "Now isn't it ironic that AdBlock is advertising in a pop up ad" I'm so glad my girlfriend is a raging virgin. I'm gonna pistol whip the next guy who miss spells Shenanigans! So "sliver girl," do you regret admitting your gender yet? can we possibly give sam nunn any more awards? anyone with a star trek desktop background is a major loser My box of tissues and I hate allergy season. Stupid Pollen! That 16 is Saweeeeeeeeet GREAT Game guys! You know how to win AND keep it exciting to the very last second! Jack is my hero! If I had known that the NSBE conference was so cool, I would have gone all four years even though I'm NOT an Engineer! Someone's going to make Martha Stewart their bitch when she's in prision. where did the payphones go? Oh yeah Sweet 16 baby! How sweet is is! Good luck guys! Y'all are awesome! Go Jackets! It's wonderful that we are continuing our dance to San Antonio and UGA is at home watching with envy! apple sauce: its a sauce ie an accompaniement toa food, then why eat it plain? Putting in automatic flush does not make the restrooms in the library better....what they need is new restrooms entirely...... the library restrooms look like the "blacks only" restrooms from before the civil rights movement ATTENTION TECHNIQUE: please take a look at the MSE computer cluster before making the "Best/Worst of Tech" issue of the Technique...... if there is a computer cluster worse than the one in the MSE department (Love Building 1st Floor) i would like to see it ya right....drop day during dead week....now you know good and well Tech will never have that A girl phoned me the other day and said "Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home. Way to go nique - MARCO'S PITA IS AWESOME!! 26 • Friday, March 26, 2004 • Technique ENTERTAINMENT Theme Crossword: Right Time, Wrong Place By Robert Zimmerman 59. Part 2 of quip: 5 wds. 5. Prestige United Features 65. Field plant 6. Bulging vessels 66. Make expiation 7. Tel — 67. Inlet 8. Duration ACROSS 68. Fitting 9. Tennies 1. Shortage 71. Gorgeous girl 10. Move up 5. Layers 74. Rests a little 11. Pane of stamps 10. Tennis Hall of Famer 75. Godsend’s relative 12. Battleship part 14. “Little Women” girl and 78. Divert 13. Very attractive namesakes 79. Schusses 14. Bracelet 19. Succulent plant 80. Item for a collector 15. Sister of Clio 20. — and the Chipmunks 81. Crumbly cheese 16. Method 21. Eschew 82. Scene 17. Tee-hee cousin 22. Of a space 83. Parti-colored 18. Niche 23. Hit 84. Do a certain dance 28. Blue flag 24. Usual weather 85. Pale color 29. Nosebag filler 25. Irishman, e.g. 86. Sellout sign 30. Slangy denial 26. Tex-Mex fare 87. Sapient 32. Perfect 27. — Juan 88. Skull cavity 35. Go after 28. Start of a quip by Charles 89. King or Lombard 36. Kind of race Schultz: 5 wds. 90. Nab 37. Trotter 31. Bores 92. Md. neighbor 38. Ill-considered 33. Superman’s alias 93. Light-beam source 39. Theater district 34. City in Panama 94. End of the quip: 5 wds. 41. Roll up 35. Accounting entry 99. Whiz 42. Weakens 37. Set loose 102. Sawyer of TV 44. Flowering state 39. Mellow 103. Something sticky 45. Money in Basel 40. “No —, ands or buts” 104. Express 46. Excuse 43. Start of a toast 105. Bite on 48. Unyielding 44. Managerial group 106. Young eel 49. Horse-drawn carriage 45. Subtle 107. — meridiem 50. Tics 46. Shade of blue 108. Raines and Fitzgerald 52. Devise

47. Inventor’s name 109. Shrek, e.g. 53. Items for a numismatist © 2004 United Features Syndicate, Inc. 48. Directive from a dentist 110. He’s Austin Powers 54. Audio system 49. Tor 111. Benefit 57. Dinner fare 72. Arab VIP 85. Endure gilded 50. Eat noisily 112. Film spools 60. Contain 73. Sterilization device 87. Directs 96. — — avail 51. Heavy canvas 113. Suds 61. N.Y. player 75. Nonpareil 88. Oozed 97. Function 53. Ember 62. Reserved 76. Annoys 89. Loving touch 98. Fortune 54. Sales pitches DOWN 63. La Cosa Nostra 77. Burning 91. Dogpatch resident 100. Concern 55. Watch 1. Colleen 64. Seedless fruit: 2 wds. 79. Joke of a kind: 2 wds. 92. Kind of finish 101. Spouted vessel 56. — Grande 2. — breve 69. Corolla part 80. Conspiring one 93. Not widespread 105. Sailor 57. Nobleman 3. Opposing position 70. Vestige 83. Spotted rodent 94. The same 58. Bar bill 4. Beer bust item 71. Singing voice 84. — colada 95. Something sometimes See Solutions, page 36

Looking to get involved on campus? Join the Technique staff. ENTERTAINMENT Technique • Friday, March 26, 2004 • 27 Tishamingo’s self-titled album provides quality southern rock By C. Jason Mabry tainly not out to copy. The entire After a few listening sessions, the Senior Staff Writer self-titled album, best stated in the disc becomes familiar enough for a track “Way Back Home”, is “some- straight play on the stereo while Tishamingo presents rock with thing you’ve heard before, some- lounging around and zoning out. an infusion of blues and enough thing you remember,” but a pleasant None of the album’s twelve songs twang to ground the music deep in feel like filler material, and coming the southern rock tradition but with in at just under an hour, the experi- the swinging excitement of a mod- “None of the album’s ence is just long enough to relax ern swing band. The quartet fea- without desiring a change of scene. tures guitar duels, a raspy, drawling twelve songs feel like Perhaps the cover art provides voice and plenty of soul. With slide filler material, and the clearest view of the overall aura. guitar, the occasional banjo and rag- The small shack, under an impres- time piano, Tishamingo delivers a coming in at just sionist sky over a swamp, complete feel-good album and a pleasant de- under an hour, the with an acoustic guitar beside a wood- parture from typical rock music. en rocker depicts the down-home Cameron Williams heads up the experience is just long juice flowing from Tishamingo’s band with lead vocals. Jess Franklin enough to relax...” instruments, a flavor both new and and Stephen Spivey support with familiar all at once. guitars. The band’s members have been longtime friends. Tishamingo The band will be in Atlanta for hails from the swampy wetlands mix of styles nonetheless. the Atlanta Dogwood Festival April around Tallahassee, Florida. The band might be aptly described 4, and will return to play at Smith’s Photo Courtesy Innerstate Records The band’s influences range far as a slightly mellower version of the Olde Bar Saturday, April 24. For Tishamingo maintains a satisfying sound throughout their album. The and wide, with many greats repre- Kings of Leon (see Technique issue more information on the band, visit band has planned to appear at the Atlanta Dogwood Festival April 4. sented. Tishamingo, however, is cer- August 29, 2003.) www.tishamingo.com 28 • Friday, March 26, 2004 • Technique ENTERTAINMENT ...10101101 10101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101.....Two Bits . Remember the Hardy Boys? Two Bits Man tries to solve Mystery of the Morning Wood The thing about being woken wood” refers that special time, right tion. It’s smart like that and mean under. Unfortunately, there aren’t shorts with a very conspicuous erec- up very early in the morning by, after a guy wakes up where, for no too. a whole lot of techniques for hiding tion owing to my own damned fool- say, yet another fire alarm—this crap readily apparent reason, he’s got what Anyway, I was standing outside so exposed a member, so, aside from ishness for not thinking to put on has got to stop—is that you’re rare- appears to be the Washington-freak- in the frisclillating dawn-light with folding my hands over my crotch some pants and to the very early ly in a proper state of mind to fully ing-Monument lodged in his pants. nothing but a few stitches of cotton and hoping for the best, I was pretty hour, respectively. Come to think consider the consequences of any It’s just kind of there for a little doing an increasingly poor job of much up Boner Creek without a of it, that’s pretty much the story. actions, or lack thereof, that you while. Nobody really knows why. obfuscating my paddle. The fire alarm got turned off a few may take. Say, for instance, that in It’s just the penis’s way of waking thunder Now, my wang isn’t really any- minutes later and I crawled back your tired, pissed-off stupor, you up in the morning, and we don’t down thing special, size-wise, but –Wait a into bed without having been really forget to put on some pants and question it. minute. What am I saying? It’s not troubled by the whole thing. Wow, instead walk outside into the early Also, on a like you guys can check or anything. that’s really, really anticlimactic. Sorry morning light clad only in a pair of somewhat re- My wang is huge, huge in the way about that. Hopefully next week, I boxer shorts and a T-shirt. The male lated note, it’s that suns and heavenly bodies are can come up with something more population of my readership pretty as if it knows huge. My wang is massive beyond interesting to write about. Although, much knows where I’m going with that you’ve the typical human’s scope of un- you have to admit that it’s pretty this, but for those uninformed wom- made the con- derstanding size. damned impressive that I managed enfolk out there, allow me to ex- scious deci- My wang, due to its ob- to base nearly half of this article’s plain. sion to get out scene mass, exerts a significant jokes solely on the phrase “my wang”, Guys are always sort of amazed of bed and gravitational force on sur- which, by the way, appeared in this that women don’t know of some of would now rounding objects. Astron- piece an epic twelve times. I guess it the more fundamental behaviors of like to make omers must take the just goes to show that my wang, the male anatomy, shrinkage, morn- for as awkward position of my wang into much like myself, is comic gold. ing wood, etc., but then again men, as possible a account when computing Hold on, I’ve got a few more: unlike women, do not devote whole time between the orbits of nearby plan- The gravitational distortional ef- swathes of time to the discussion you and your ets. My wang, properly ap- fects exerted by my wang upon the and debate of the complex inner roommate. It al- plied, could rip the very space-time continuum have puzzled workings of their genitalia. (Don’t ways seems to moon from the sky*. All physicists for the past twenty years. lie. I saw “The Vagina Monologues.” choose the few right, I’m done now. My wang is a force of nature, That thing was two hours filled with moments be- What was I say- you cannot stop it. You can only stories and descriptions of anthro- tween when you ing? I got a little caught hope to contain it. pomorphic hoo-has.) I suppose it decide to get up up there, contemplating Billionaire industrialist Bruce really shouldn’t be too much of a and when you ac- the awe and majesty of Wayne, is, in reality, the vigilante surprise. tually do to my wang. Oh yeah, I was crime-fighter known to friend and Anyway, the term “morning spring into ac- outside in a pair of boxer foe alike simply as my wang.

Indigo from page 23 tight vocal harmonies, poetic and on when it comes to an increasingly The limited edition release of All Ladies from page 25 insightful lyrics, melodic acoustic popular trend in marketing. Bun- That We Let In is a must-have for casual listening. The album itself is guitar and a well implemented use dled with the CD in a limited edi- any Indigo Girls fan, however the ending the film. The last thirty min- not instantly gripping, and it takes of a variety of instruments. All That tion release is a DVD that includes extra dollar or two for the DVD is utes feels like a six minute clip seen several listening sessions to appreci- We Let In offers its share of radio- video footage of live performances probably not worth it for the casual five times over, and the payoff is ate all that it has to offer. The style friendly tracks as well. “Heartache of several songs on the album and a CD-buyer. The album probably terribly disappointing. There is no of the music on All That We Let In For Everyone” is probably the most couple of songs from previous re- would appeal most to fans of the clever device of surprise in the mo- lacks a certain element of accessibil- mainstream of all the tracks on the leases. The inclusion of bonuses such folk rock genre and to the political- notonous plot twisting. The shin- ity to new listeners and seems to be album, with a ska feel and lyrics that as DVDs and concert tickets with ly and socially conscious. Overall, it ing light of The Ladykillers is the more targeted toward the Indigo anyone can relate to. CD releases is becoming a common seems that the Girls have found their gospel music that feels so similar to Girls’ current audience. Though the Indigo Girls’ music practice within the music industry niche and are sticking to it, as this the bluegrass of Brother. But the Elements of the album that any- doesn’t really follow popular trends, as an effort to encourage sales and album doesn’t seem the type to draw vivid music only provides frame for one can appreciate, however, include they have jumped on the bandwag- stem piracy. in too many new fans. a dull story and blunt delivery.

Where is the best computer lab on campus? What about the worst bathrooms? Or the best Mexican restaurant near Tech?

Voice your opinion by voting in the Technique’s annual “Best of Tech”

The results will be printed in a special section of the April 16 issue.

www.best.nique.net ENTERTAINMENT Technique • Friday, March 26, 2004 • 29 Do you want to see your name printed in the newspaper? Come write for us! We still have three issues left this semester. Weekly meetings are on Tuesdays in Room 137 of the Flag Building. Come visit and we’ll give you free pizza! 30 • Friday, March 26, 2004 • Technique ENTERTAINMENT

for Jersey Girl, the funnyman de- Jersey from page 23 manded, “As long as you’re gonna climate, knowing what I know now? write me a role, write me my dream No,” Smith said. role. I’ve always wanted to play a He feels her performance hit the clergyman that strangles six chil- mark and extracted better work from dren.” Affleck, because audiences feel his While Grandfather Bart manag- loss when she’s out of the movie. es not to kill anyone, Carlin skillful- Lopez also led to the crucial choice ly alternates between his crotchety of Raquel Castro as the daughter stand-up persona and that of the because of their physical similari- doting Pop. ties. Liv Tyler shines brightly as Maya, Probably most important, how- the bookish but cute psychology stu- ever, is the fact that Affleck no long- dent that mans the counter at the er spent his free minutes flying off video store. Tyler took the exact to New York or L.A. in between dialogue composed in Smith’s word shooting, like he did during Dogma processor and pleasantly surprised because of his Academy Award sched- him with a soft character that laughs ule. at her own jokes and differs strongly He was instead entirely focused from the razor-edged persona he had with his girlfriend around, because envisioned. “if he wasn’t on the set, he was in the Warned that Tyler and Affleck trailer with her f—ing his brains were already paired before in Arma- out.” geddon, Smith realized he’d “have The make-or-break point for this to cut the asteroid scene out of this movie is the casting of the titular picture.” Jersey girl once she reaches elemen- He simply determined they had Photo Courtesy Miramax Publicity tary school. Castro’s debut role ar- poor chemistry in that end-times George Carlin returns for another chance to shine in a Kevin Smith film. Smith jokingly recalls that Carlin wanted rives just in time to resuscitate the affair after watching “the scene where to play a child-strangling clergyman. He instead settled for the grandfather of the title character in Jersey Girl. proceedings with her natural come- he’s whipping animal crackers down dic flair and beaming, gap-toothed her blouse and shit like that,” Smith “making passersby more curious Smith strikes back, “Nothing take a few weeks and make another smile. said. about what we’re doing here in the wrong with masturbation, dude. It’s small run-and-gun movie, possibly The youngster drew praise from Not so on the set of Jersey Girl, first place and possibly bringing more the best f—-ing thing one could do a Clerks sequel that evolves into its her director for her innate ability, when a half-day shoot resulted in people into the theater,” Smith said. with themselves, I think. Or with own separate concept. However, he’s but he acknowledges that he somewhat Smith trumpets as more be- With such a history, Smith sens- somebody watching.” not the one trying to keep the pro- times had to carefully instruct the lievable than anything in their earli- es he’s selected Jersey Girl as the Smith’s careful to emphasize that duction costs down, and his part- child actor about line delivery. er work. When the actors reacted right movie for the right time in the he’s only taking a break from the ners nearly went crazy operating on Referring to the other half of his unhappily with the negative char- current climate of near censorship. genre that made him a famous mov- shoestring budgets. dynamic duo in previous films, Smith acterization of that blip in their fil- “It wasn’t even that great of a ie geek. Jersey Girl overall suffers from comments, “Mewes is the same way. mographies, Smith did a turnaround boob,” but Janet Jackson’s Super “I’m sure I’m gonna wind up too many cliché bits, whether it’s There are just some days where it’s and pronounced, “Armageddon’s the Bowl fiasco that preceded the more upside down jamming porno into a the highly overcooked scene wit- like, ‘Wow, he got it without me best!” recent removal of Howard Stern from f—-in’ VCR again sooner or later,” nessed by a relative lurking in the really telling him how to do it.’ Then No stranger to a little controver- certain radio markets signals a crack- Smith said. shadows or a race-against-the-clock there are days where you’re putting sy, Smith still stings from knowing down on indecency. His ever-present Star Wars nods grand finale that segues into a neat- your hand up and working his f— that Ellen DeGeneres exited during In Mel Gibson’s The Passion of are a comforting home to him, “kind ly-wrapped conclusion. ing mouth.” a screening of Chasing Amy and re- the Christ, “If you had [Jesus] in of like Pavlovian response referenc- The man who spends nights in Castro approved of her version members he “wanted to walk out of that movie going ‘f—- this,’ people es” because of the laughs they gen- his office too busy to care for any- of the movie much more, one in Finding Nemo to pay her back but I wouldn’t be going. They’d walk out erated when he first inserted them one else discovers where to find true which Affleck disappears early and liked it too much,” he said. in droves, but they’re happy to watch in Clerks. happiness. The heart that pulls this she’s raised by Lopez, who became The lesbians didn’t picket his him get f—in’ flogged and beaten Silent Bob’s monologues of through, Castro’s beaming Gertie, her pal. Smith reports that Castro movie that deals with a flip-flop- and bloodied up. It’s weird how George Lucas material amount to appears only after the languid expo- had some difficulty at the begin- ping member from their ranks, un- puritanical the country can be,” he nothing more than stealing to get sition, but the film’s belly laughs ning being affectionate with Affleck, like the response of the Catholic said. applause, “but Jay and Bob f—-in’ make slaving through the tedious but “she would’ve flat-out made out League to Dogma. Smith appreciat- When the family-targeted Jersey light saber fighting—that’s just me “drama” worthwhile. with J. Lo.” ed the free advertising and one day Girl went for approval, the film- wanting to light saber fight. You’re Jersey Girl gets by as an unabashed According to Smith, George even assisted the protestors, none makers were initially slapped with kidding me. If I write this, you’ll father-daughter love story with the Carlin’s always wanted to be an ac- recognizing him because of the de- an R-rating because an executive give me a light saber and put the fingerprints of Kevin Smith’s prior tor but has been typecast as a come- cades-older crowd that didn’t know was uncomfortable hearing a dis- laser on it and shit like that and outings entering at just the instanc- dian. When the director approached their own enemy. cussion about self-pleasuring in the sound effects?” he said. es when the sappiness might be too Carlin about a major part in mind He joined the group, in the end presence of his teenage daughter. Smith would eventually like to much to handle.