An Exploration of Death Cafés in Canada

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An Exploration of Death Cafés in Canada Master’s Thesis – M. Karrel; McMaster University - Anthropology AN EXPLORATION OF DEATH CAFÉS IN CANADA i Master’s Thesis – M. Karrel; McMaster University - Anthropology AN EXPLORATION OF DEATH CAFÉS IN CANADA By MIRIAM KARREL, B.A. A Thesis Submitted to the School of Graduate Studies in Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements for Degree Master of Arts McMaster University © Copyright Miriam Karrel, September 2018 ii Master’s Thesis – M. Karrel; McMaster University - Anthropology Descriptive Note McMaster University MASTER OF ARTS (2018) Hamilton, Ontario (Anthropology) TITLE: An Exploration of Death Cafés in Canada AUTHOR: Miriam Emma Karrel B.A. (Dalhousie University) SUPERVISOR: Dr. Ellen Badone 55 pages ii Master’s Thesis – M. Karrel; McMaster University - Anthropology Lay abstract Is death denied or revived in contemporary western society? Many people believe that death is a taboo subject, and to break this taboo people have hosted death cafés, which are pop up events where people are meant to talk about death. My research involved attending death cafés around southern Ontario to find out what happens at death cafés: who attends and what is talked about. Much of the literature in the social sciences on death and dying focuses on institutional settings where death is present, or focuses on how death is coped with in “other” cultures. This thesis explores how people think about death in casual settings where death is not immediately present. iii Master’s Thesis – M. Karrel; McMaster University - Anthropology Abstract Do people talk about death? Many scholars argue that people in our society do not talk about death; that it is taboo, it is denied or sequestered into hospitals and funeral homes and exists outside of everyday life. And yet, others argue that death is “a very badly kept secret” with hundreds of books published on the topic in the last few decades, most of them claiming that we cannot talk about death. This disconnect leads some to argue that there is a revival of death happening instead. My research sits at the nexus of this tension; I attended death cafés around Southern Ontario to explore the dialogues that emerge in spaces set out to break the presumed taboo around death. At a death café people are meant to “drink tea, eat cake, and talk about death.” The objective of these events is “to increase awareness of death with a view to helping people make the most of their finite lives.” This statement, from the official death café website, assumes that facing death will help to make sense of, and give perspective to, life. I explore how and if death cafés accomplish their intended purpose of encouraging existential discussion, and if such a discussion was in fact beneficial to the attendees. I argue that the discussions at the death cafés I attended did not seem to fulfill the purpose stated on the website of encouraging existential discussion about one’s own death. I then situate this observation in the context of broader understandings of the denial of death thesis generally and in terms of residual Victorian romanticism and attachment to others. iv Master’s Thesis – M. Karrel; McMaster University - Anthropology Acknowledgements This thesis would not have been possible without the help of many people. First and foremost, I would like to thank my supervisor, Dr. Ellen Badone. She has been incredibly inspiring and supportive throughout the entire process and I would not have made it through all the setbacks and obstacles of this project without her support. I would also like to thank the various other professors and staff in the anthropology department who have taught and helped me throughout my time at McMaster. I would also like to the thank the other graduate students in the department for making my time here enjoyable and fun. Your friendship, commiseration, and support has made a world of difference to me and I am thankful to have been surrounded by so many wonderful people. I would especially like to thank Katherine Eaton. Her support, both emotional and practical, has been invaluable and I do not know how I would have made it through without it. And of course, my family, for instilling a love of learning and for encouraging me to pursue it. Thank you, everyone. v Master’s Thesis – M. Karrel; McMaster University - Anthropology Table of Contents Introduction ........................................................................................................................1 Literature Review ..............................................................................................................8 Denial of death .................................................................................................................9 Sequestration and professionalization ............................................................................17 Revival of death ..............................................................................................................25 Death Cafés .......................................................................................................................31 Origins .............................................................................................................................31 Methodology ...................................................................................................................32 Vignette ...........................................................................................................................33 Themes ..............................................................................................................................37 Practical discussions ......................................................................................................39 Professional attendance ..................................................................................................45 Talking about talking about death ...................................................................................48 Thy death ........................................................................................................................50 Conclusion .......................................................................................................................53 References .........................................................................................................................56 vi Master’s Thesis – M. Karrel; McMaster University - Anthropology Introduction Over the past few decades, since at least 1956 when Gorer famously wrote about the pornography of death, there has been an assumption, both in academic circles and in the general public, that death is something people do not talk about in contemporary western society. The explanations given for this taboo include changes in cultural ideas, new ways of existing, changing influence of various industries and the professionalization of medical care. However, within the last 30 years there has been a counter-argument, that death is not hidden, or “denied.” Rather, according to this perspective, there is a revival of discussion around death. However, this idea has not gained much ground among the general public and many people still believe that death is a taboo topic, and feel the need to do something to break the taboo. One way that people are attempting to break this silence is through death cafés, which are pop up events designed to give people an opportunity to discuss death. The rationale behind the death café movement is that discussing death will be beneficial to people and give them a different perspective on life. However, through the research for this thesis, I have questioned whether death is indeed taboo, and whether discussing death in a café setting would actually be of any benefit to the participants. This question is important to address because while there has been much research on people who are dying, and about people who work in death related industries, there has been relatively little anthropological research that aims to understand what people who are not immediately connected to death in some way think about it, or why they would choose to 1 Master’s Thesis – M. Karrel; McMaster University - Anthropology talk about it. Key anthropological and sociological works on death and dying in Western contexts have focussed on the process of death in medical settings (Chapple, 2010, Kaufman, 2005, Sudnow, 1967, Glaser and Strauss, 1965, Bluebond-Langner, 1978), grieving and mourning (Katz et al. 2001, Walter 1999), hospice care for the dying (Saunders and Kastenbaum 1997), and death related professionals (Mitford, 1963, Laderman 2003). One of the few social science studies to focus specifically on the issue of how ordinary people think about death is Becker’s (1973) book, The Denial of Death, which as I discuss below, has been influential in shaping the popular conception that death is a taboo subject in contemporary society. In order to address the question of whether, in fact, we live in a death-denying society, I carried out ethnographic fieldwork in southern Ontario during 2016 and 2017 which involved participant observation at death cafés and interviews with people organizing and attending the cafés. I participated in conversations, writing up detailed field notes after each one to analyse who was there, what was talked about, and increasingly, what was not talked about. I also analysed websites, newspaper articles and social media postings related to the larger death café movement, both within southern Ontario and beyond.
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