arrested development

"A Family Reunion"

written by

Julien Perez "A Family Reunion"

FADE IN:

EXT. CHAPEL - NEWPORT BEACH - DAY MICHAEL BLUTH stands on the steps of a quaint chapel with GEORGE-MICHAEL beside him. They both wear suits. RON (V.O.) It had been five years since Michael Bluth had seen anyone from the Bluth family and he found himself unexpectedly nervous to meet them all face to face. GEORGE-MICHAEL Just open the door, dad. MICHAEL You know how I get with funerals. I mean, it's our Uncle Oscar, George- Michael! GEORGE-MICHAEL You said you always knew this call was coming. RON (V.O.) Yes, it's true. Uncle Oscar became an unfortunate statistic that resulted in many people responding to his death with "about time."

INSERT: A NEWS HEADLINE - ON FACEBOOK A PHOTO of OSCAR BLUTH with a headline that reads: "FIRST MARIJUANA DEATH CONFIRMED."

EXT. CHAPEL - NEWPORT BEACH - CONTINUOUS Michael grabs the handle of the door. He turns to George- Michael. MICHAEL I just know what they're all gonna say... Michael swings the door open. 2.

The chapel is completely EMPTY except for FATHER PAPA (40's). He gets startled awake from a nap. A picture of Oscar sits next to the open casket. MICHAEL (CONT’D) Are you kidding me!? FATHER PAPA Sorry, private viewing. MICHAEL We're here for the funeral, father. Father Papa stands up straight. FATHER PAPA Oh, by all means. You can call me Papa. Michael looks to George-Michael and then back to Father Papa. MICHAEL Sorry, I guess you caught me, Papa. I haven't really kept up with the new religious terms. FATHER PAPA No, that's my name. I'm Father Papa. So, you two are family? MICHAEL Yeah. He's my uncle. Father Papa looks to George-Michael. FATHER PAPA What are you, half his age? MICHAEL No. This is my son. (points to Oscar) That's my uncle. Michael turns to George-Michael. MICHAEL (CONT’D) Can you believe this? Not one person showed up. GEORGE-MICHAEL I mean. Yeah. 3.

MICHAEL Father, how long can we keep his casket here? FATHER PAPA Well, he's scheduled to go in the ground in about, oh, thirty minutes or so. MICHAEL Is there anyway you can hold off for a few hours? I just need some time to round up our family. This man doesn't deserve this. FATHER PAPA Well... I guess I can re-schedule it to a later time slot. MICHAEL Thank you! Come on, George-Michael.

INT. BLUTH PENTHOUSE - BALBOA TOWER - LATER Michael opens the front door to his parent's penthouse. RON (V.O.) Michael and George-Michael arrived at the Balboa tower to a startling discovery. TOBIAS FUNKE, in zombie make-up and daisy duke shorts, turns to face them. Michael jumps. MICHAEL Holy S**t! GEORGE-MICHAEL Tobias? TOBIAS Michael! George-Michael! Oh happy day! MICHAEL What are you doing here? Where is everyone? TOBIAS If you're referring to the rest of Bluth gang, I must admit I haven't seen them in quite a while. 4.

GEORGE-MICHAEL What's with the zombie make-up and... who's that over there? A buff and shirtless guy, ATTICUS (30's) sits in front of a laptop, on the couch. He's dialed in. TOBIAS Oh, that's just my good friend, and writing partner, Atticus. We met on the set of what we in the industry call a "pilot."

INT. HOSPITAL - SOUND STAGE (FLASHBACK) Tobias mimics talking to a FEMALE NURSE. He wears medical scrubs. RON (V.O.) Tobias recently found success as a background extra on a number of failed network television shows.

PULL OUT WIDE Tobias is in the background as JASON ALEXANDER takes the lead on a scene. RON (V.O.) (CONT’D) There, he met a familiar group of extras that call themselves the "Out of Focus Group". They all had big dreams of success and above the line placement.

INT. GREEN ROOM - SOUND STAGE (FLASHBACK CONT'D) Tobias and the OUT OF FOCUS group sit in a small room. ATTICUS (tears) When people see me all they see are these... Atticus gestures to his large chest. Tobias looks him up and down. He stops on his crotch. TOBIAS That's not all we see. 5.

ATTICUS I want to show the world I can be more than just Intimidating Inmate number two!

INT. CRAFT SERVICES - SOUND STAGE (FLASHBACK CONT'D) Tobias scans the crafty table. He stands behind ISSA REA and eavesdrops on her conversation. RON (V.O.) One day, while on set, he found himself behind Insecure star, Issa Rea talking about her hit web-series that led to a full series order, from HBO. ISSA REA ...I don't think it could ever happen again. I mean, I was so lucky. RON (V.O.) This gave him an idea. Tobias's eyes light up and he hurries away.

INT. GREEN ROOM (FLASHBACK CONT'D) Tobias rushes toward Atticus. TOBIAS Atticus, I know how to break in! We must write and shoot a web series! Let's gather the Out of Focus group and bring ourselves In focus! RON (V.O.) And so, Tobias began writing his web show about a never-nude zombie.

INT. BLUTH APARTMENT - BALBOA APARTMENTS - PRESENT TOBIAS It's called Never-Dead! MICHAEL I don't know if we needed the whole story. (then) Did no one know about Uncle Oscar? His funeral was today and not one of you showed up. 6.

TOBIAS Oh, pish-posh Michael, can't you see we're busy writing our destiny! ATTICUS (interjects) I found the wi-fi password! TOBIAS Let the script writing commence! MICHAEL Tobias. Do you know where the rest of the family is? TOBIAS I can't say that I do, Michael. But, then again, I do know that Gob is hiding out at the beach house. GEORGE-MICHAEL How about Maeby? TOBIAS Oh, she's probably at the Loob office with that mother of hers. MICHAEL Good thinking George-Michael. We have to split up. You go get Maeby and Aunt Lindsey and get them to meet at the chapel. I'll go and get your Uncle Gob. Come on. Michael and George-Michael leave the room. Tobias leans over Atticus' shoulder. TOBIAS No, no, no. My name goes first.

INT. LOOB OFFICE - DAY George-Michael walks into a pristine office. White walls and a chic interior. He walks up to an impatient RECEPTIONIST. GEORGE-MICHAEL Is Maeby Funke in the office? RECEPTIONIST I don't know, maybe. GEORGE-MICHAEL Isn't she your boss? 7.

MAEBY George-Michael! George-Michael looks passed the receptionist to MAEBY FUNKE in a blazer with a t-shirt underneath. GEORGE-MICHAEL Maeby! Look at you. You're-- MAEBY A Loob girl! She models the t-shirt. It reads: "LOOB." RON (V.O.) A few years back, Lindsey and Maeby decided it was best to bury the hatchet and start over as mother and daughter.

INT. WHOLE FOODS - (FLASHBACK) LINDSEY BLUTH drags her hand across bags of chips. LINDSEY Ugh, why are we here... MAEBY Lindsey, stop! You're acting like a child! If you're gonna learn to cook for yourself, you better get used to going to the grocery store. LINDSEY Oh, shut it. You're not my mother, daughter. MAEBY You're making a scene! Lindsey picks up a jar from the shelf and drops it. It shatters. LINDSEY I don't know what you're talking about. A WORKER at the end of the aisle approaches them. WORKER Hey! Don't just walk away! You're gonna pay for that. 8.

LINDSEY Oh, please. You don't think I can afford a jar of -- oh my god! Thirty dollars!? For... (reads the label) Asparagus water? WORKER Yeah and you're going to pay full price! Lindsey gets lost in thought. RON (V.O.) And, for the first time she could remember, Lindsey had an idea.

INT. BLUTH PENTHOUSE - BALBOA TOWER (FLASHBACK CONT'D) Lindsey holds court in the living room. Maeby and Tobias are present. LINDSEY All we have to do is package some bullsh*t product, give it a fancy name -- maybe, I don't know, tell them it'll tighten up your vagina -- and then, charge them up the ass. MAEBY I've never been more prouder to be your daughter. Tobias raises his hand. TOBIAS I don't get it. Where do I fit in, in all this? LINDSEY We'll call it Loob! For Lindsey Bluth. MAEBY We can work on the name.

INT. MAEBY'S OFFICE - LOOB - PRESENT George-Michael looks around Maeby's office. Her desk is covered in assorted knick-knacks. 9.

MAEBY I'm telling you George-Michael. These rich idiots will buy anything! GEORGE-MICHAEL You don't feel like you're just ripping people off? MAEBY Oh, George-Michael. Never change. GEORGE-MICHAEL So, I guess things are better from last time we talked? MAEBY Oh. Yeah, never better. At that moment Lindsey, pops her head in with a MALE EMPLOYEE. LINDSEY Maeby, I thought I told you to fire this one! MAEBY Umm, Lindsey, that's a different guy. LINDSEY Oh, really? Well, fire him anyway. I don't like his face. (then) Oh, hey George-Michael. GEORGE-MICHAEL Hi Aunt Lin-- Lindsey walks away. MAEBY (to employee) Just go to your desk. Continue your work. She won't even remember this. MALE EMPLOYEE Thank you. George-Michael looks to Maeby. She relents. MAEBY It's a f***ing nightmare. She's the worst boss I've ever had. And I worked with Harvey Weinstein! 10.

GEORGE-MICHAEL Who? MAEBY You know, the movie guy. Sexual predator... GEORGE-MICHAEL Never heard of him. (then) Why don't you tell Aunt Lindsey that you quit? MAEBY It's not that easy. This is easily the best job I've ever had. I mean, I was born for this, George- Michael! And, if I leave, this company will tank even harder than the Weinstein company! George-Michael shrugs. MAEBY (CONT’D) What have you even been doing these last five years? GEORGE-MICHAEL (faux laughter) What do you mean? We talk all the time! MAEBY Yeah, through text. But, every time I ask you what are you up too, you just respond with a vague answer. George-Michael smiles, nervously. GEORGE-MICHAEL Um. You know, a little of this, a little of that...

INT. STAIR CAR - DAY (FLASHBACK) Michael and George-Michael shout and holler as they drive away in the stair car. They are pumped. 11.

RON (V.O.) Michael and George-Micheal were overcome with joy as they drove away, knowing that this would be the last time they both would see anyone from their family. MICHAEL We're doing it! We're leaving the family! Good riddance! GEORGE-MICHAEL We're outta here! Chao! MICHAEL Sayonara suckers! GEORGE-MICHAEL Yup! The energy begins to die down. George-Michael smiles at Michael. Michael smiles back and then attempts to re-ignite the energy. MICHAEL Yeah! Never seeing those guys again! Thank god, right, George- Michael! Michael reaches across and grabs George-Michaels shoulders. GEORGE-MICHAEL Mhm. But, the energy is gone and we can read it on their faces. Michael and George-Michael stare ahead. Each lost in their own thoughts. RON (V.O.) After the excitement of finally leaving the Bluth family wore off, reality suddenly struck the two. GEORGE-MICHAEL So. MICHAEL So. GEORGE-MICHAEL What should do we do? Where do we go? 12.

MICHAEL Anywhere you want, son! We've got an open road ahead. George-Michael smiles and nods. GEORGE-MICHAEL How about Boulder, Colorado? MICHAEL Hmm. That's random. Why there? GEORGE-MICHAEL I mean, it was rated the happiest city in America -- according to the World Economic Forum. MICHAEL Yeah, but that's just because of the pot. You know, they legalized pot there? GEORGE-MICHAEL Actually, it was a survey based on the overall health, lifestyle, and economic opportunity that they have there. MICHAEL Again, because of the pot, son. Name another place -- go. GEORGE-MICHAEL Number two was Santa cruz. MICHAEL Okay, okay. That's more like it. (then) I was thinking San Francisco. How about that? GEORGE-MICHAEL That was seventeenth.

INT. MAEBY'S OFFICE - LOOB - PRESENT George-Michael stands silently. MAEBY If you're embarrassed to tell me, that's totally fine. 13.

MAEBY (CONT’D) George-Michael? GEORGE-MICHAEL Embarrassed? Me, no way? RON (V.O.) (sighs) We'll come back to this...

INT. BLUTH'S BEACH HOUSE - DAY Michael knocks on the front door. From behind the door: GOB (O.S.) Who's there? MICHAEL Open up, it's me. GOB (O.S.) Michael!? GOB BLUTH opens the door -- slightly. GOB (CONT’D) (smiles) It is you! Gob opens it fully. MICHAEL Hey, Gob. How are-- GOB Quick! Get in. Before the vultures see. Gob pushes Michael in and shuts the door. MICHAEL What are you talking about? GOB Paparazzi's Michael! They've been following me, like, little spineless monkey's. MICHAEL I thought they were vultures? GOB Potato-tomahto! 14.

EXT. NEWPORT PIER - (FLASHBACK) Gob walks through a crowded pier. RON (V.O.) Gob found himself a victim of what the teens call -- the "meme treatment." TWO TEENAGERS sneak up on Gob with their phones recording their interaction. TALL TEENAGER Hey, you're banana man! GOB What'd you call me, kid? SHORT TEENAGER Banana man! Oh my god! You're banana man, right? The teenagers follow his every step. GOB Get away from me, children!

EXT. BANANA STAND (FLASHBACK - 2004) INSERT FOOTAGE FROM "AFTERNOON DELIGHT": BUSTER, using a crane, lifts up gob in his banana suit. RON (V.O.) Long ago, Buster used a crane to rescue Gob, who was stuck in between the banana stand and Lucille's car, all while wearing the Bluth banana costume. THE VIDEO FREEZES. It becomes a printed photo in an article. RON (V.O.) (CONT’D) This image right here laid dormant for many years until one kid, pictured here... PICTURE SHOWN: SCHOOL PHOTO OF TEENAGER RON (V.O.) (CONT’D) ...recovered it in the now defunct OC gazette, and plastered this joke on it. 15.

PHOTO OF GOB: "WHEN JESUS COMES BACK AND HE'S A BANANA MAN." RON (V.O.) (CONT’D) For reasons beyond me, this joke took the internet by storm and, Gob Bluth, became known -- in the internet message boards, as "Banana man."

INT. BLUTH'S BEACH HOUSE - PRESENT Gob peaks out the blinds. GOB You don't know what it's like getting all this attention, Michael. RON (V.O.) He loves being the famous one. GOB I hate being the famous one. MICHAEL As a matter of fact, Gob. I was just profiled in the San Francisco Examiner. GOB Is that suppose to be impressive? MICHAEL Okay. Says the guy hiding from some dumb teenagers! GOB They're on me like, little flies, Michael! So, unless there's some sort of big death in the family -- I'm not leaving this spot! MICHAEL I guess you didn't hear about Uncle Oscar, then? A beat. Gob turns to Michael with pleading eyes. GOB They're vultures, Michael! MICHAEL Come on! I told Papa that we'd be there by three. 16.

GOB You talked to dad! He hasn't been returning my calls. MICHAEL No, the priest at the funeral home. His name is -- doesn't matter. Do you know where Mom and Dad are? GOB Oh, what do you care Michael? You left us all to fend for ourselves. And, now look at us: I'm famous, Lindsey has a big girl job, and Mom and Dad were forced to completely upend the company! MICHAEL Wait, what do you mean? GOB Oh, you haven't heard?

INT. BLUTH PENTHOUSE - BALBOA TOWER (FLASHBACK) GEORGE BLUTH SR. paces around the living room as LUCILLE BLUTH sits on the couch. RON (V.O.) George and Lucille Bluth had a hard time dealing with the failing California housing market. GEORGE SR. These damn milleniums are ruining our life's work! Why would anyone choose to live in an apartment tower over owning your very own home!

PICTURE SHOWN: BALBOA TOWERS GEORGE SR. Those modern complexes are gonna gut us into the ground! Lucille takes a pensive sip out of her martini. RON (V.O.) This gave Lucille a brilliant idea. LUCILLE If you can't beat 'em -- join 'em. 17.

George Sr. takes a moment to think it over. RON (V.O.) And so, they began construction on a brand new project, known as the Bluth Tower. A sleak, sixteen story apartment and condominium complex complete with retail and food spaces down below.

EXT. BLUTH TOWER - DAY - PRESENT Michael looks up at the tall tower. It's fully constructed with people going in and out of the building. They stand in front of a bar named -- Beers! MICHAEL Wow, it actually looks... nice. You know, I definitely had this idea years before they became popular. Gob wears a hat and sunglasses. He looks over his shoulder. GOB It's a bar, Michael. They've always been popular. A group of three young, hip TWENTY-SOMETHINGS approach. Gob spots them. GOB (CONT’D) Oh great, here we go. You're gonna see Michael. They suck the life, right out of me, like the little mosquitoes they are! The group walks straight passed them and into the bar. GOB (CONT’D) I guess, my disguise is working. MICHAEL Uh-huh. Let's go up. GOB You go on ahead, I need a drink. MICHAEL Come on, Gob! We don't have time for that. We need to get back to the chapel. 18.

GOB Just get me when you're ready to leave, I can't stand it up there. It gives me the creeps. MICHAEL Oh, it can't be that bad.

INT. BLUTH PENTHOUSE - BLUTH TOWER Michael opens the door to an exact replica of the old Balboa Penthouse. MICHAEL Well, I don't know what I was expecting.

INT. MAEBY'S OFFICE - LOOB RON (V.O.) Let's check back in, shall we? George-Michael sighs. GEORGE-MICHAEL I've done nothing. Okay? MAEBY What do you mean? What are you even doing in San Francisco, then? GEORGE-MICHAEL Because, it's where my dad wanted to be! He's obsessed with trying to "make a name for himself" in Silicon Valley. I've been stuck there this whole time. I can't get out! MAEBY Why don't you just leave? GEORGE-MICHAEL It's not that easy, Maeby. I can't just say, 'hey dad I'm gonna go do my own thing.' MAEBY Yeah, you can. 19.

GEORGE-MICHAEL He doesn't work like that. He follows me everywhere and he expects me to do the same with him. (then) Plus, I don't like to disappoint my dad. MAEBY Jeez, George-Michael, you need to grow a pair. Seriously. GEORGE-MICHAEL Hey, you're the one to talk! You're afraid to disappoint your mother about quitting this company! MAEBY I don't care about disappoint-- RON (V.O.) An idea suddenly struck Maeby. MAEBY What if we switched parents? GEORGE-MICHAEL You don't think we're a little too old for that? MAEBY No, I mean, I'll tell Uncle Mike you want to move back here, and you can tell Lindsey that I want some time off. It's perfect! GEORGE-MICHAEL Hmm. Okay, that could work. MAEBY Great! GEORGE-MICHAEL But, can you tell my dad that this was your idea?

INT. BLUTH PENTHOUSE - BLUTH TOWER Michael looks around the room. There's no one in sight. BUSTER (O.S.) Heeey Brother! 20.

MICHAEL Buster? Where are you? BUSTER (ON TV) Over here. BUSTER BLUTH is on the TV SCREEN in an ORANGE JUMPSUIT. Michael steps into the living room and faces a webcam. MICHAEL Buster, buddy. Wow, it's like you're... dad. BUSTER I know, right? (imitates George Sr.) Who's my little whore-- oh Buster, you're still there? Don't tell your mother! Buster laughs. MICHAEL I see being locked up hasn't taken away your sense of humor. BUSTER Oh, no! I'm having the time of my life!

EXT. CONSTRUCTION SITE (FLASHBACK - 2015) INSERT FOOTAGE FROM "THE FALLOUT" LUCILLE ASTERO is covered in cement as the Bluth family exchange shocked glances. Buster backs away from the crowd. RON (V.O.) Buster Bluth openly admitted to murdering his neighbor and ex-girlfriend Lucille Two, and then attempted to cover it up by placing her dead body in George Senior's failed border wall. Buster gets chased by TWO COPS. They tackle him.

INT. COURTROOM (FLASHBACK CONT'D) The Bluth family, sans Michael and George-Michael, sit in an all too familiar courthouse. A JUDGE watches an exhausted PROSECUTOR interrogate Buster. 21.

RON (V.O.) Fortunately, for Buster, the courts deemed him to be mentally incompetent to stand trial after he mistook the theatrics of the justice system and the glamour of the local news, to mean that he was the star of his very own TV show. PROSECUTOR Do you understand that you're on trial for murder? Buster gasps. PROSECUTOR (CONT’D) Do you understand? BUSTER What's my line? I didn't get the script. Or is this one of those improv shows, like the big bang theory. PROSECUTOR Ugh. For the love of god. Buster turns to the CAMERA. BUSTER Bazinga! RON (V.O.) It was sad.

INT. CELL (FLASHBACK CONT'D) Buster, in an orange jumpsuit, gets led into a small cell by a CHIPPER GAURD. CHIPPER GAURD You know what I do when life gets me down. I sing a song! (a deep breath) OOOOOOOOOOOH...... Buster smiles and dances along. RON (V.O.) He was sentenced to serve out his time at Anaheim's most animated mental institution. Disney's Psychiatric Institute for the Criminally Insane. (then) Is there anything they won't buy? 22.

INT. PENTHOUSE - BLUTH TOWER - PRESENT Michael smiles at Buster then looks around the room. MICHAEL That's great, Buster. I'm happy for you. Are mom and dad around? BUSTER Yeah, they're in their room. I think they're avoiding me, Michael. MICHAEL Oh, come on. Why would they do that? Buster doesn't respond. He just stares back without emotion. MICHAEL (CONT’D) Buster? Buster doesn't blink. Michael waves his hands over the camera. MICHAEL (CONT’D) You there, buddy? Did it freeze or something? Buster suddenly moves. BUSTER Oh, is it frozen again? MICHAEL (startled) Jesus -- They're in there you said? I'm gonna go say hi. Michael hurries out of the room.

INT. GEORGE AND LUCILLE'S ROOM - CONTINUOUS George Sr. and Lucille lay in bed. They watch TV. Michael opens the bedroom door -- slowly. MICHAEL Hello? GEORGE SR. (nonchalantly) Oh, hey son. Michael walks in. 23.

MICHAEL Really? It's been five years and that's your opening line? GEORGE SR. Has it been five years? LUCILLE Close the door. I can hear him staring in there. MICHAEL You guys are just laying in bed... Did you know it was Uncle Oscar's funeral today? LUCILLE Oh, he's faking it! MICHAEL Well, you guys haven't changed a bit. LUCILLE Don't pretend like you cared for the guy, Michael. Why are you really here? MICHAEL Wow. RON (V.O.) As a matter of fact, there was another reason.

INT. TECH OFFICE - (FLASHBACK) Michael sits across a TECH PERSON in a high rise office. RON (V.O.) Recently, Michael had a tough time finding a job that would be both high paying and free from corporate disasters. TECH PERSON If I'm being honest. You being from the Bluth family could really help us with our recent scandals. We really need an expert. MICHAEL Scandals? I don't know. I was hoping to be free of scandals. 24.

TECH PERSON This is Silicon Valley, Michael. Every company has scandals. (then) We would pay, handsomely. He slides over a piece of paper to Michael. Michael takes a peak. RON (V.O.) Michael, seeing his value for the first time, decided to make the most of it. MICHAEL Let me think on it.

INT. ANOTHER TECH OFFICE (FLASHBACK CONT'D) Michael sits across another TECH BOSS MICHAEL I mean, I'm Michael Bluth! If there's anyone that knows scandals, it's this guy! TECH BOSS We're willing to match any offer.

INT. FACEBOOK OFFICE (FLASHBACK CONT'D) Michael sits across from a FACEBOOK BOSS. MICHAEL If I'm being frank, I've gotten offers from the biggest companies, already. What can you offer me? FACEBOOK BOSS Name anything you want. Michael takes a moment to himself. RON (V.O.) There's one thing Michael wanted, that these companies couldn't offer.

INT. BLUTH PENTHOUSE - BALBOA TOWER - PRESENT DAY Michael pulls out a newspaper clipping and shoves it in George Sr.'s face. The headline reads: FACEBOOK HIRES BLUTH! 25.

MICHAEL You see that, dad. I've made a name for myself! GEORGE SR. So, what? You came here to gloat? MICAHEL No, I realized I never officially said this: I quit! Lucille and George Sr. suddenly laugh hysterically. GEORGE SR. You can't be serious!? LUCILLE Look at his face, George! MICHAEL Forget it. GEORGE SR. You've been gone five years, Michael. You didn't think we could take a hint? Lucille squints at him. LUCILLE Unless, this was some sort of cheap ploy to get your old job back. MICHAEL It wasn't. RON (V.O.) It was. GEORGE SR. Why should we even hire you back Michael? You left us in the dust and look, we're all more successful than ever. MICHAEL I don't want my job back! I wanted to show you that somebody values me. Something that you never did! GEORGE SR. Oh, please, son. Validation is a poor man's confidence. 26.

LUCILLE I knew you didn't love that man. MICHAEL That man, is my uncle. And, for your information mom, I did care about that man. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a very real funeral to attend to. Michael leaves the room. George Sr. turns to Lucille. GEORGE SR. That was tough. We could've really used him. LUCILLE We have no choice, George. This is your mess. You clean it. RON (V.O.) George and Lucille felt it was best to keep Michael in the dark of their latest scandal.

INT. BLUTH PENTHOUSE - BALBOA TOWER (FLASHBACK) George Sr. watches TV. RON (V.O.) After designing and conceptualizing the Bluth Tower, George Senior was struck by something he saw on the news. JOHN BEARD on TV: JOHN BEARD Uh-oh! Documents reveal that President Trump was in fact planning to build a Trump Tower in Moscow during his presidential election. Officials for the president say the deal eventually fell threw when Trump won the nomination. George Sr. gets lost in thought. RON (V.O.) Which gave George Senior an idea. 27.

EXT. MOSCOW CONSTRUCTION SITE (FLASHBACK CONT'D) George Sr. stands at a construction site with a helmet on. He speaks with a RUSSIAN CONTRACTOR. GEORGE SR. This is beautiful! It's gonna say Bluth at the top right? The Russian Contractor says something in Russian. GEORGE SR. (CONT’D) Uh huh. Yeah. Great. The Russian contractor pats George Sr.'s back. RON (V.O.) George, unfamiliar with the Russian language, unknowingly gave permission to install cameras and recording devices in every room of the Bluth Tower. The Russian contractor nods his head as WORKERS carry boxes of WEBCAMS into the building. GEORGE SR. Hey, I have one of those in my living room!

INT. GEORGE AND LUCILLE'S ROOM - PRESENT George Sr. stands up from bed. GEORGE SR. How was I suppose to know that the Russians were gonna screw me, like that!?

EXT. MOSCOW SITE (FLASHBACK) George Sr. stands with the Russian contractor. The contractor pats George Sr.'s back. RUSSIAN CONTRACTOR (in Russian) You are being screwed, my friend.

INT. GEORGE AND LUCILLE'S ROOM - CONTINUOUS George Sr. starts to pace around. 28.

LUCILLE Relax, George. GEORGE SR. How am I suppose to relax!? You think Oscar really died from a marijuana overdose!? They're after me, Lucille! LUCILLE I'm telling you, George. He's faking it! I bet you it's some sort of cry for help. He probably just wants to see how many people showed up to his funeral. RON (V.O.) Only two showed up. GEORGE SR. How do you know that for sure? LUCILLE Well, there's only one way to find out. George Sr. sighs.

INT. BEERS! A BARTENDER approaches Gob. RON (V.O.) Meanwhile, Gob was having a hard time getting noticed at the bar. BARTENDER What can I get you? Sir? Gob ignores him. His focus is on the group of twenty- somethings (JORDY, ZANE, SAMANTHA) sitting at a booth. JORDY I can't believe Tim's gone. SAMANATHA Hey, come on. Tim would've wanted us to live it up. 29.

ZANE Before we open our time capsules, that we told ourselves, when we were kids, to not open until the first one of us died, we should have a toast. They all raise their glass high. ZANE (CONT’D) To Tim. JORDY SAMANATHA To Tim! To Tim! Gob nudges in. GOB To Tim! They all look to him. SAMANTHA Can we help you? GOB You don't recognize me? ZANE Should we? GOB I'm Banana Man! ZANE Who? GOB You know... Gob stands up and raises his hand up like Jesus Christ. GOB (CONT’D) Like, the me me thing. JORDY Oh. Michael approaches. MICHAEL Gob, come on. We have to get to the chapel. 30.

GOB (to group) You think I'm gonna just join your little -- mixed-raced, rat pack? I'm a celebrity! Gob turns to Michael. GOB (CONT’D) Thank god. These leeches were hounding me for autographs. Let's go.

INT. CHAPAL - LATER Michael and Gob open the chapel door. RON (V.O.) Michael and Gob arrived to the chapel to another, startling, discovery. Tobias, still in zombie make up, stands right behind the door. MICHAEL Sh**t. Tobias! What are you doing, here? TOBIAS Well, me and Atticus hit, what you might call a writer's wall and I was hoping that your dead uncle could, maybe, dislodge our collective blockages. MICHAEL Um, whatever Tobias. Thanks for coming, I guess. TOBIAS Hush, Michael! I can't think when you're talking. Tobias heads over to Atticus. Maeby walks in. MICHAEL Oh great! Maeby, it's good to see you. (then) Where's George-Michael? 31.

MAEBY He'll be coming with my mom. But first, can we talk Uncle Mike? MICHAEL Yeah, sure. What's up? Maeby looks to Gob. MAEBY Can you give us a minute? GOB Good to see you, too. Little... animal thing. Gob wonders over to a pew and takes a seat. He then looks up to Jesus on the cross and smiles. GOB (CONT’D) The original banana man. Maeby and Michael walk to the corner of the room. MICHAEL What's up? MAEBY So, I talked to George-Michael and, well, I'm just gonna rip the band- aid off. He's moving back here, alone. Alright? MICHAEL (defeated) Yeah, I figured as much. MAEBY Oh, well, that was easy. RON (V.O.) George-Michael on the other hand, had a much harder time.

INT. LINDSEY'S OFFICE - SAME TIME George-Michael hides behind a desk. A lamp gets thrown at him, it misses but shatters on the wall. GEORGE-MICHAEL I'm sorry! That's what she told me! 32.

LINDSEY That's such horse sh*t. Who does she think she is!? She can't just leave. Who's gonna come up with all my ideas!? GEORGE-MICHAEL Maybe, if you listened to her more, she would want to stay. Another lamp gets thrown to the wall. GEORGE-MICHAEL (CONT’D) Throwing things won't help! Lindsey catches her breath. George-Michael takes this as his cue and he runs out.

INT. LOOB OFFICE FLOOR - CONTINUOUS George-Michael runs into the main office and Lindsey follows behind. LINDSEY Where are you going!? Hey! You tell Maeby that if she leaves she's never getting her job back! George-Michael stops. The EMPLOYEES on the floor start to look at each other. EMPLOYEE 1 Did you hear that? ANOTHER EMPLOYEE stands up. ANOTHER EMPLOYEE Is Maeby really gone? LINDSEY Yeah, we don't need her! Right!? ANOTHER EMPLOYEE If she's gone -- then I quit! EMPLOYEE 3 EMPLOYEE 4 Me too! Yeah! Me too! LINDSEY Hey -- hey! Hold on! Everyone joins in. 33.

LINDSEY (CONT’D) Okay! Okay! I'll fix this! Just -- wait! She's coming back! Lindsey runs to George-Michael. LINDSEY (CONT’D) George-Michael! Take me to her!

INT. CHAPAL - DAY RON (V.O.) At the chapel, Michael struggled to keep Father Papa from continuing the service. Father Papa taps his watch. FATHER PAPA Time is of the essence, my boy! MICHAEL I'm sorry, Father Papa. We're just waiting for my son. FATHER PAPA Well, he better get here soon. Just then the doors open and George-Michael and Lindsey walk in. MICHAEL (to Papa) Alright! Happy? LINDSEY Maeby! What the hell are you thinking!? GEORGE-MICHAEL Aunt Lindsey, what did we talk about? Lindsey sighs. LINDSEY Maeby, daughter, I'm sorry that I've been hard on you. You don't deserve that. I'm now realizing how much I actually need you. If you come back to work, I will let you run things, the way you've been trying to run things. How's that? 34.

MAEBY You mean it? Lindsey turns to George-Michael. He nods. LINDSEY Yeah, I do. FATHER PAPA Well, unless there's any more interruptions, I think it's best to get this funeral going? What do you say? MICHAEL By all means, father. Please continue. Lindsey and Maeby take a spot in the pew. Just then the door opens and Lucille and George Sr. walk in. MICHAEL (CONT’D) Oh, look who decided to finally show up! GEORGE SR. Can it, Michael! George Sr. walks right up to the casket. He looks at Oscar. MICHAEL Do you believe he's still faking it? George grabs Oscar and shakes him. GEORGE SR. Are you faking it, Oscar!? Please tell me that you're faking it and that the Russians didn't kill you! FATHER PAPA Let go of the body, sir! MICHAEL Dad, what're you doing!? GEORGE SR. The Russians are after me Michael! They've killed Oscar, clearly thinking he was me. LUCLLE George -- enough! 35.

GEORGE SR. No, Lucille. He needs to know. What if they get me and I end up like this? MICHAEL What are you talking about, dad? GEORGE SR. I may have worked with some Russians that are currently trying to silence me. I mean, look at Oscar. You think he really died from a marijuana overdose? Who knows how long until they realize he's not me! LUCILLE George, you're saying too much! At that moment OSCAR shoots AWAKE with a GASP. Everyone gets startled. LUCILLE (CONT’D) I knew it! He was never dead! Tobias's eyes light up. He turns to Atticus. TOBIAS Did you hear that? This is our story! It's divine inspiration! George Sr. lets go of Oscar. GEORGE SR. Oh, thank god. I'm okay. Oscar looks around at the family. OSCAR (smiles) You all came! Father Papa leans into his watch: FATHER PAPA We've been made! Father Papa then disrobes and pulls out a gun. Atticus jumps over the pews and also pulls out a gun. FATHER PAPA (CONT’D) George Oscar Bluth, you're under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason. 36.

ATTICUS Put your hands in the air! MICHAEL You're not a priest? FATHER PAPA I'm with the FBI. Agent Johns. Tobias stands stunned. TOBIAS Atticus!? You're not an actor!? ATTICUS I'm sorry, Tobias! For what it's worth, I really enjoyed working on our web series, even if we only got as far as the title. The doors bust open with more FBI AGENTS. FBI AGENT Everybody put your hands up! MICHAEL What the hell is going on here!? Father Papa pulls out handcuffs and arrests George Sr. GEORGE SR. I'm innocent! Lucille, call Barry! MICHAEL Mom, what's going on? LUCILLE What does it look like, Michael? You're father is being arrested. FATHER PAPA Take him away! Atticus leads George Sr. out of the chapel. He stops at the sight of Gob. ATTICUS Hey! You're -- You're banana man! GOB The one and only! 37.

INT. STAIR CAR - DAY - LATER George-Michael and Michael sit together in the stair car. MICHAEL Well, looks like your wish came true, George-Michael. We're gonna be stuck here for a while. GEORGE-MICHAEL And, you're staying, too? MICHAEL Yeah, I have to deal with this scandal. It's what I'm good at. GEORGE-MICHAEL I was kinda hoping that things would go back to normal when we got here. You know? MICHAEL You're pop-pop was just arrested for conspiracy to commit treason. Nothing's more normal than that. (then) Now, why don't we drive over to the beach house. We'll get settled in and then, I may even let you pick the movie. How does that sound? GEORGE-MICHAEL Yeah... Okay. RON (V.O.) On the next "Arrested Development"...

INT. LIVING ROOM - BEACH HOUSE - LATER George-Michael sits on the couch with a TV remote in hand. RON (V.O.) ...George-Michael, picks the movie... Michael takes a seat. He holds a bowl of popcorn. MICHAEL Oh, no. A Harvey Weinstein movie? You're better than that. Give me the remote. George-Michael hands the remote to Michael. 38.

INT. BLUTH PENTHOUSE - BALBOA TOWER - LATER RON (V.O.) ...And Tobias, finishes his script. Tobias stares at his computer. He's giddy. TOBIAS Tobias, this is you're masterpiece! Look out Harvey Weinstein, there's a new analrapist in town! Tobias clicks out of the writing program and skips away. RON (V.O.) Unfortunately for Tobias, he never saved his work and his genius is lost forever. END OF EPISODE