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PERMISSION Between stimulus and response there is RESOURCESspace. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom. TO FEEL Scientist Blog, Book info, Free articles - Viktor Frankl Unlocking the Power of to Help our Kids, www.marcbrackett.com Ourselves, and our Society Thrive RULER training & Information on SEL

www.rulerapproach.org Marc A. Brackett, Ph.D. @ marcbrackett @ marc.brackett T H A N K Y O U! @RULERapproach Director, Yale Center for My Contact info: Professor, Yale Child Study Center [email protected] #PermissionToFeel marcbrackett.com (info, book, blog)

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How How are Educators you ? Felt We are a group of people in New York, London, Berlin and

Singapore. We create brands, products and marketing. And we use strategy, design,ENERGY content and development to do it. in 2018

N = 6000 Educators from around the USA PLEASANTNESS PERMISSION TO FEEL 3 4

Causes of Teachers’ How

Educators • of getting sick (either themselves or loved ones/family members) • Having to work from home/child care Feel • “Online school started today. My vision of finally having someone else take care of kids (even virtually) was smashed to smithereens. This requires 100% parent involvement, actually 200% because the girls are in different grades!!!!!!” Right • A quality education for all students • Being home and cooped up • Feeling isolated and lonely Now • Economy and finances • Access to food and resources N = 5000 Webinar Participants March 23-24 PERMISSION TO FEEL 5 6

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We’re Not Regulating Very Well! HOW WE FEEL IS stressedstressed excited frustratedfrustrated excited Out of Balance happy Avoidance anxiousanxious happy Wine, wine, wine! joyful Screaming overwhelmedoverwhelmed joyful Educators (most of us) are spending upwards of 90% of the day in the RED & BLUE. boredbored Losing my fulfilled Watching tiredtired fulfilled Over-eating temper trash TV calm While the goal CANNOT be to be in the exhaustedexhausted calm YELLOW or GREEN all of the time, especially lonelylonely satisfiedsatisfied now, we need greater balance! depresseddepressed Consuming too Oversleeping much social Overthinking; Obsessive media ruminating Cleaning

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Ideas for what can make a difference

• Learn the science of emotion and emotional intelligence Our Vision • Understand that SEL skills are hard, not “soft” skills • Move beyond the goal that “” is the “answer” To use the power of emotions to create a • Focus more on prevention so there is less need for intervention healthier and more equitable, innovative, • Have greater balance in the “core” curriculum • Educate families in SEL and compassionate society • Eliminate “quick fix” mentality and focus on systemic change • Overhaul outdated and often harmful policies and educate policymakers

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Social and Emotional Learning The RULER Approach

Moving from a …to a systemic piecemeal approach… approach

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Emotions Matter Emotion Scientist vs. Emotion Judge

An Emotion Scientist… An Emotion Judge… • Attention, memory, and learning • Accepts all emotions as information • Views emotions as “error” and weak • Decision making • Sees emotions as ephemeral • Sees emotions as “permanent” • Relationship quality • Is open, curious, and reflective • Is critical, closed, and ignores emotion • Is in learner mode (investigates) • Is in knower mode (makes attributions) • Physical and mental health • Wants to get “granular” • Clumps emotions as good or bad • Performance and creativity • Has a “growth mindset” • Has a “fixed mindset”

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The RULER Skills Healthy Emotion Regulation

Recognizing emotions in self and others The “thoughts” and “actions” we use to prevent, reduce, initiate, maintain, or Understanding causes and consequences of emotions enhance emotions in order to promote L abeling emotions accurately well-being, build positive relationships, make sound decisions, and attain goals E xpressing emotions Regulating emotions effectively

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Managing Anxiety & Stress The Big 7: Healthy Emotion Regulation

PHYSIOLOGICAL REGULATION MANAGING YOUR LIFE SMARTLY • Stress • Mindful breathing • Modifying & selecting situations to • Unpredictable, Uncontrollable, Sustained (like how we feel right now) prevent stress; having routines and setting daily goals • Currently, our educators and many of us feel . SELF- CARE • Sleep, nutrition, exercise (build a strong DOING MEANINGFUL THINGS YOU ENJOY • Chronic stress makes us sense danger around the clock. Coupled with immune system) • Spirituality, hobbies, entertainment, & “resource depletion” – poor nutrition, sleep, and exercise, our worst selves come out and we taking a walk in nature behave irrationally HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS

• Spraying people, gargling with Clorox; buying of toilet paper • Feeling safe, heard, & connected FORGIVENESS

• Saying mean or hurtful things to our partners • Giving ourselves permission to fail & MANAGING YOUR THOUGHTS forgive. • Catastrophic thinking. Our brains lie to us. When we don’t have accurate • Positive self- talk, , , information, we make things up (e.g., Turbulence & plane crashes) reappraisal, & problem- solving

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Emotion Regulation Strategies are: Let’s Put It All Together!

• Give yourself & others the permission to feel all emotions

• Specific to the emotion: Not all emotions are created equal. • Emotion regulation isn’t about not feeling, it’s about accepting all & using them wisely. • Specific to the person: Strategies are rooted in personality, • family background, culture. Strive to become an emotion scientist, not an emotion judge • Remember: Physical distance does not mean psychological distance. • Specific to the situation or relationship: Do you regulate better at work than at home? Is it easier with some friends than others? • Appreciate that developing emotion regulation skills can be harder than For educators: Are all strategies allowed/permitted? learning traditional “hard” skills. It’s life’s work. Embrace the complexity!

• And, importantly, there is no criterion of correctness • Be the role model. If you fail, be open to apologizing, forgiving, and repairing – and seeking professional help if necessary.

• Don’t give up! Your health and your children’s health depend on it!

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Between stimulus and response there is space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.

Emotion Scientist Blog, - Viktor Frankl Book info, Free articles marcbrackett.com

RULER training/information Rulerapproach.org T H A N K Y O U!

My Contact info: [email protected]

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