Emotions 101

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Angela Su CTA Center for Organizing and Bargaining School Finance Specialist Emotions 101

Introductions

Safe/brave learning space

The Language of Emotions, Karla McLaren Framework Engage The Brain, Allison Posey Permission To Feel, Marc Brackett What role do emotions play in teaching & learning?

Work with a partner/table to make a list of how emotion impacts teaching & learning

Without emotions Can’t make simple cognitive Can’t understand social world Can’t effectively learn decisions

Emotions help us attach value and meaning to data – Action-requiring neurological programs What are – Coined by Antonio Damasio and used extensively in Karla Emotions? McLaren’s work – Each emotion has a specific purpose and message – There is a way to work within each emotion, as opposed to transcending or avoiding it – Emotions come in different intensities – Emotions come in multiples – Emotions can be out of kilter – Emotions are not negative or positive (except in context) Feelings vs Emotions

Emotions are Feelings are physiological the signalers of conscious what is going awareness of on in your a emotions. world. Emotional Granularity

Experience the world and yourself, more precisely

Allows people to be more agile in emotional regulation • Less likely to drink excessively or retaliate aggressively • Helps people live longer and healthier lives

Finely tailored emotions gives the brain more tools for handling life’s challenges and often encourage a feeling of agency which leads to action

EG is a skill and can be improved by learning new emotionally descriptive words and meanings Emotional Vocabulary List

INTENSITIES EMOTION GROUPS – Soft (flow) – Angers – Medium (mood- – Shame/Guilt state) – Fear/Anxiety – Intense – Jealousy/Envy (extremes) – Happiness – Sadness/Grief/Depression – Depression & Suicidal Urges Expression, Repression, and…

Expression – “Sharing” the Relies on the outside world to interpret our emotions emotion with the Is sometimes healthy, but can make us dependent on external forces (books, friends, outside world in the family) for relief hope it will be noticed, honored, Can be socially difficult, especially in extreme expression and transformed

Relies on our interior selves to accept and “deal” with emotions Since emotions come from inside, shoving them back down without processing them creates a short circuit in the psyche Repression – stuffing emotion down into The unconscious will likely increase the intensity of the emotion and bring it up again our psyches (unresolved mood-states and emotional suffering) or give up and stuff the emotional energy deeper. The next time the instinct may manifest in an unrecognizable way, but without a loss of intensity. Often intense energy that is pushed down changes into something else like compulsion, addictions, neuroses and the like. Channeling

– The middle ground is channeling – To direct or convey emotions along a chosen pathway in a conscientious manner – Accepts emotions as important and useful messengers that help us to learn and evolve – Listen to emotions, feel them consciously, name them correctly, and express them in ways that will bolster our self- image and our relationships, rather than tearing them down – Emotions contains vital skills and abilities that help us to survive and thrive Practice

1. An expressive, aggressive response that employs some boundary breaking 2. A repressive, passive response that lets me get away with murder 3. A focused channeling response that sets clear behavioral boundaries for both of us WARNING: YOU WILL BE INSULTED Have you always been such a bad teacher or are you just lazy? Goal – Flow With, Emotional skills you already have Rather Than – Emotional Skills Inventory Being Overtaken – Share with a partner: By Emotions – Which emotion do you feel confident in using effectively (flow state)? Why? – Which emotion do you feel you could improve your dexterity using? Why? Practice

1. An openly expressive envy that employs some lashing out 2. A repressive, passive envy that refuses to address the situation openly 3. An honorably channeled envy that utilizes your intuition and your boundary- setting abilities to help you understand your current connection to resources and recognition. You have a good relationship with the principal of your school, she is respected and generally treats employees fairly. On Monday she offered to send all of the staff in your grade level/subject area, except you, to a highly desirable all-day seminar (not put on by the district) on a topic that is educationally relevant and in which you are deeply passionate, in a super nice location a few weeks from now. She has not spoken to you about it and it is early on Wednesday. What do you do and say today at work? Tools To Help Regulate Your Emotions – Empathic Mindfulness Skills (McLaren)

Grounding Slow breathing, meditation/ visualization (using flow state of sadness) that allows ‘let go’

Boundary An imaginary practice that creates a boundary representation around the physical body Setting (arms length sphere of safety) Burning Visualization activity that acknowledges your distress (expectations, stances, beliefs, rules, ideas, or relationships) by imagining a parchment, writing, speaking, thinking, the distress Contracts on to the page, and rolling it up tightly. Throw it out of the boundary space and burn it. Conscious Private ritual activity where you swear, whine, speak out about the frustrations, Complaining hopelessness, and stupidity of your situation. Intentional process of energy refill. Imagine a beautiful favorite place inside your Rejuvenation boundary and let your body and emotions relax within the space until you feel rejuvenated (recommend a list of personal healthy rejuvenation practices to pull from) Mood Meter - RULER (Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence) Skills that help us accurately Noticing a change in your own identify and decode what we Recognizing the occurrence of thoughts, energy, or body or someone an emotion else’s expression, body language, or and others are feeling. voice

Understanding the cause of the emotion how it influences thoughts and decisions RULER

Label the emotion

Knowing how and when to display Expressing the emotion emotion given the setting and social context Skills that help us manage those emotions to achieve desired outcomes.

Monitoring, tempering, and modifying Regulating the emotion emotional reactions in healthy ways RULER Emotion Regulation

1. Mindful breathing 2. Forward-looking strategies (avoidance) – Anticipate something will cause an unwanted emotion and steer clear of it or modify our environment 3. Attention-shifting strategies (distraction) – Temper the impact of an emotion by diverting our attention away from its source 4. Cognitive-reframing strategies (reappraisal) – Find a new way of seeing the thing that is triggering the emotion 5. Meta-moment – Pause (activate the parasympathetic nervous system) to lower our emotional temperature, see your best self, strategize and act Supporting the Emotions of Teaching

Teaching is emotional work (bring that work into the open) – Emotional labor or work - look at the often unwritten emotional and empathic behaviors that are expected in the workplace. – Guides on employee productivity ignore unsupported emotion work and how it can drive behavior, undermine relationships, and lead to needless burnout. – Is your emotion work being acknowledged by anyone? Is it appreciated? Is it even mentioned? Could it become more intentional and conscious? And does it work for everyone? – Create an emotionally well-regulated and comfortable environment where emotions work. – Think UDL for the teaching environment. Wrap Up/Resources

– The Language of Emotions, Karla McLaren – The Art of Empathy, Karla McLaren – Engage The Brain, Allison Posey – Self Comes to Mind: Constructing the Conscious Brain, Antonio Damasio – Permission To Feel, Marc Brackett – http://ei.yale.edu/ruler/ Mood Meter App – The Body Keeps Score, Bessel Van Der Kolk – Are You in Despair? That’s Good, Lisa Feldman Barrett – https://www.nytimes.com/2016/06/05/opinion/sunday/a re-you-in-despair-thats-good.html?_r=0

Your Emotional Vocabulary List

~~~~~ANGER, APATHY, and HATRED~~~~~ Soft Anger and Apathy Annoyed ~ Apathetic ~ Bored ~ Certain ~ Cold ~ Crabby ~ Cranky ~ Critical ~ Cross ~ Detached ~ Displeased ~ Frustrated ~ Impatient ~ Indifferent ~ Irritated ~ Peeved ~ Rankled

Medium (or Mood-State) Anger Affronted ~ Aggravated ~ Angry ~ Antagonized ~ Arrogant ~ Bristling ~ Exasperated ~ Incensed ~ Indignant ~ Inflamed ~ Mad ~ Offended ~ Resentful ~ Riled up ~ Sarcastic

Intense Anger and Hatred Aggressive ~ Appalled ~ Belligerent ~ Bitter ~ Contemptuous ~ Disgusted ~ Furious ~ Hateful Hostile ~ Irate ~ Livid ~ Menacing ~ Outraged ~ Ranting ~ Raving ~ Seething ~ Spiteful ~ Vengeful ~ Vicious ~ Vindictive ~ Violent

~~~~~~~~~SHAME and GUILT~~~~~~~~~~ Soft Shame and Guilt Abashed ~ Awkward ~ Discomfited ~ Flushed ~ Flustered ~ Hesitant ~ Humble ~ Reticent ~ Self-conscious ~ Speechless ~ Withdrawn

Medium (or Mood-State) Shame and Guilt Ashamed ~ Chagrined ~ Contrite ~ Culpable ~ Embarrassed ~ Guilty ~ Humbled ~ Intimidated Penitent ~ Regretful ~ Remorseful ~ Reproachful ~ Rueful ~ Sheepish

Intense Shame and Guilt Belittled ~ Degraded ~ Demeaned ~ Disgraced ~ Guilt-ridden ~ Guilt-stricken ~ Humiliated ~ Mortified ~ Ostracized ~ Self-condemning ~ Self-flagellating ~ Shamefaced ~ Stigmatized

~~~~~~~FEAR, ANXIETY and PANIC~~~~~~~ Soft Fear and Anxiety Alert ~ Apprehensive ~ Cautious ~ Concerned ~ Confused ~ Curious ~ Disconcerted ~ Disoriented ~ Disquieted ~ Doubtful ~ Edgy ~ Fidgety ~ Hesitant ~ Indecisive ~ Insecure ~ Instinctive ~ Intuitive ~ Leery ~ Pensive ~ Shy ~ Timid ~ Uneasy ~ Watchful

Medium (or Mood-State) Fear and Anxiety Afraid ~ Alarmed ~ Anxious ~ Aversive ~ Distrustful ~ Fearful ~ Jumpy ~ Nervous ~ Perturbed Rattled ~ Shaky ~ Startled ~ Suspicious ~ Unnerved ~ Unsettled ~ Wary ~ Worried

Intense Fear and Panic Filled with Dread ~ Horrified ~ Panicked ~ Paralyzed ~ Petrified ~ Phobic ~ Shocked ~ Terrorized

~~~~~~~~~~~JEALOUSY & ENVY~~~~~~~~~~~ Soft Jealousy & Envy Disbelieving ~ Distrustful ~ Insecure ~ Protective ~ Suspicious ~ Vulnerable

Medium (or Mood-State) Jealousy & Envy Covetous ~ Demanding ~ Desirous ~ Envious ~ Jealous ~ Threatened

Intense Jealousy & Envy Avaricious ~ Gluttonous ~ Grasping ~ Greedy ~ Green with Envy ~ Persistently Jealous ~ Possessive ~ Resentful

~~~HAPPINESS, CONTENTMENT, and JOY~~~ Soft Happiness Amused ~ Calm ~ Encouraged ~ Friendly ~ Hopeful ~ Inspired ~ Jovial ~ Open ~ Peaceful ~ Smiling Upbeat

Medium (or Mood-State) Happiness and Contentment Cheerful ~ Contented ~ Delighted ~ Excited ~ Fulfilled ~ Glad ~ Gleeful ~ Gratified ~ Happy ~ Healthy Self-esteem ~ Joyful ~ Lively ~ Merry ~ Optimistic ~ Playful ~ Pleased ~ Proud ~ Rejuvenated ~ Satisfied

Intense Happiness, Contentment, and Joy Awe-filled ~ Blissful ~ Ecstatic ~ Egocentric ~ Elated ~ Enthralled ~ Euphoric ~ Exhilarated ~ Giddy ~ Jubilant ~ Manic ~ Overconfident ~ Overjoyed ~ Radiant ~ Rapturous ~ Self-aggrandized ~ Thrilled

~~~~~SADNESS, GRIEF, and DEPRESSION~~~~~ Soft Sadness Contemplative ~ Disappointed ~ Disconnected ~ Distracted ~ Grounded ~ Listless ~ Low ~ Steady ~ Regretful ~ Wistful

Medium (or Mood-State) Sadness, Grief, and Depression Dejected ~ Discouraged ~ Dispirited ~ Down ~ Downtrodden ~ Drained ~ Forlorn ~ Gloomy ~ Grieving ~ Heavy-hearted ~ Melancholy ~ Mournful ~ Sad ~ Sorrowful ~ Weepy ~ World- weary

Intense Sadness, Grief, and Depression Anguished ~ Bereaved ~ Bleak ~ Depressed ~ Despairing ~ Despondent ~ Grief-stricken ~ Heartbroken ~ Hopeless ~ Inconsolable ~ Morose

~~~~~DEPRESSION and SUICIDAL URGES~~~~~ Soft Depression and Suicidal Urges Apathetic ~ Constantly Irritated, Angry, or Enraged (see the Anger list above) ~ Depressed ~ Discouraged ~ Disinterested ~ Dispirited ~ Feeling Worthless ~ Flat ~ Helpless ~ Humorless ~ Impulsive ~ Indifferent ~ Isolated ~ Lethargic ~ Listless ~ Melancholy ~ Pessimistic ~ Purposeless ~ Withdrawn ~ World-weary

Medium (or Mood-State) Depression and Suicidal Urges Bereft ~ Crushed ~ Desolate ~ Despairing ~ Desperate ~ Drained ~ Empty ~ Fatalistic ~ Hopeless ~ Joyless ~ Miserable ~ Morbid ~ Overwhelmed ~ Passionless ~ Pleasureless ~ Sullen

Intense Suicidal Urges Agonized ~ Anguished ~ Bleak ~ Death-seeking ~ Devastated ~ Doomed ~ Gutted ~ Nihilistic ~ Numbed ~ Reckless ~ Self-destructive ~ Suicidal ~ Tormented ~ Tortured

Note: If you’re feeling any level of suicidal urges, don’t feel as if you have to wait until you’re in the throes of torment to reach out for help. If you can learn to catch your suicidal urges when they’re in the soft stage, you can often stop yourself from falling into the pit of anguish. In the territory of the suicidal urge, your capacity for emotional awareness and sensitivity can literally save your life! If you or anyone you know is feeling suicidal, free and confidential help is available. In the U.S., you can call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). For other countries, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has a list of crisis and suicide prevention centers throughout the world. In Canada, see the Canadian Association for Suicide Prevention.

How to Be Helpful to Someone Who Is Threatening Suicide (from the NSPL website)

 Be direct. Talk openly and matter-of-factly about suicide.

 Be willing to listen. Allow expressions of feelings. Accept the feelings.

 Be non-judgmental.

 Don’t debate whether suicide is right or wrong, or whether feelings are good or bad.

 Don’t lecture on the value of life.

 Get involved. Become available. Show interest and support.

 Don’t dare him or her to do it.

 Don’t act shocked. This will put distance between you.

 Don’t be sworn to secrecy. Seek support.

 Offer hope that alternatives are available but do not offer glib reassurance.

 Take action. Remove means, such as guns or stockpiled pills.

 Get help from people or agencies specializing in crisis intervention and suicide prevention.

Thank you for your concern and your willingness to reach out. Thank you for bringing more emotional awareness and empathy to our waiting world.