Republican Convention was that tape that you ”act like a whatever your intent, your are ”anti-Semitic.” What? How do member of the Mafia.” objectively pro-Clinton, and that you get that? Because Newt At first, Mario was going to you are helping a future Clin- Gingrich attacked Woody Allen, make the New York taxpayers ton Administration to dig the and said that the Democratic foot the bill for his trip to Wash- grave of liberty, of the free mar- family values platform clause ington to make his outrageous ket, and of what’s left of tradi- was a “Woody Allen plank.” and odious comments on Face tional American culture. And why would I the Nation, but, anyone in his after a storm of right mind criti- protest, he finally cue Woody Allen agreed to pay for Bobby Fischer: these days? Be- it out of his cam- cause, opined paign pocket. The Lynching Mario, Gingrich Mario’s gutter of the was attacking flipout should “short Jewish have been page Returning Hero guys.” Victimo- one news in every by M.N.R logy run ram- media outlet in pant! Gee, Mario, the country. And Twenty years ago, Bobby as a short Jewish yet, as far as I Fischer was the hero of the guy myself, I know, the news American media. A remarkable don’t feel that appeared in only prodigy and genius, Bob- Gingrich was us- one place: in an by surmounted a concerted at- ing Woody Allen article by Fred tempt by the dominant Soviet as a code name to Dicker in the live- grandmasters to keep him out attack me! in fact, ly tabloid, The of the world championship. Woody Allen is His defeat of then champion, indeed an excel- (8/24). And that’s Soviet Boris Spas- lent metaphor for it. Apart from sky, at the match at Rejkjavik the Democrat Party and for our that one source, the news media, was the toast of the world; here entire left-liberal dominated once again, faked reality by was the first American chess culture. suppressing this item and pro- player to become the best in the Moreover, Mario claimed, the tecting their own heroes, of world. Fischer’s victory revivi- Republican Convention was whom Mario is a star. fied chess in the U.S. and “anti-Italian.” Huh? He said all I used to think Mario Cuomo across the globe, and succeed- over the convention were ”T- was smart and funny. He’s still ed in making chess tourneys a shirts of Italians as the Mafia.’’ smart, I guess, but he’s no big business. Wrong, Mario, there were no longer funny. He’s a national Bobby was an eccentric, but such T-shirts. There was, how- disgrace. Do we want this creep many geniuses are eccentric, ever, a satirical movie poster- on the Supreme Court? Because and virtually every top chess being sold by one merchant- thilt’s who we’ll get if the left- player shares that quality. As in of a movie, ”Slick Willie,” ists, left-libertarians, neocons, the case of many geniuses, featuring Teddy Kennedy as and short-sighted dog-in-the- Bobby made many demands of ”the chaperone” and Mario as manger types have their way, officials around him, in his case ”The Godfather.” Whatsamat- and Slick Willie becomes tournament directors; from a ter, can’t take a joke, Mario? If President. distance, they seemed picky you remember, Mario, it was Bumbling Bush is no great and a little batty. His demands not a Republican, but your own bargain, but to keep undercut- not being met, Bobby retired beloved standard-bearer, Slick ting the President from now from world chess, and has not Willie, who told Gennifer on until Election Day means, that played in public for seventeen 10 October 1992 years. Now, lured by a multi- that forced the international poor Bobby, noted that since million dollar gate guaranteed chess authorities to change the Bobby is in violation of the ab- by a Yugoslav businessman, way they pick championship surd UN “sanctions” against Bobby, still maintaining that he contenders, turning from tour- , his ”dealing with is undefeated world champion, naments (where deliberate the enemy” Serbs by playing agreed to play his old rival draws can be concccted)to one- chess could subject Bobby to a Spassky, the first ten-game on-one matches, where such large fine and ten years in jail. winner to be declared the conspiracies cannot take place. For playing chess?! The Post victor. Bobby has also pioneered in writer declared that prison for One would think that the changing tournament time Bobby wouldn’t be bad, since it media would hail the return of clocks, to guard against being would compare favorably with the colorful, charismatic, and rushed to beat the time clock. the residential motels in Pasa- memorable Bobby. Americans, This innovation showed a prin- dena where Bobby has been liv- after all, are sentimental and cipled regard for the good of ing for the past two decades. love ”Comeback Kids,” as the game, since one of Bobby’s I’m sure this writer is one of Slick Willie has realized. And. attributes as a chess player is these guys bleeding with com- yet, oddly enough, Bobby’s that he himself was virtually passion for the ”homeless,” return has been greeted with a never in time trouble. How would his fans like it if he stream of frenetic and hysterical Three:Bobby, now 50, is older said that jail is fine for the home- abuse by the once-admiring and fatter and balder than he less, since jail is better than living media, the Smear Brigade be- was as a gangling on the streets? If ing led by such Respectable youth twenty and the Post guy organs as the New York Times more years ago. would never and the Washington Post, the Well, gee, that’s make such an Post being particularly vicious. a helluva charge: ”insensitive” The other organs of opinion tell me, guys, statement, does duly followed the line set down who isn’t older he really think by the elites. and fatter and that living in Let us note some of the com- balder twenty cheap motels is mon charges. years later? worse than being One: Bobby is ”paranoid,” Four: Bobby homeless? having charged that the Soviet must be a nut, Six: Bobby is grandmasters delayed his since he lived as a now accompanied championship for a decade by ”recluse” for by an 18-year old conspiring to against each these lapsed Hungarian girl- other, saving all their ammuni- seventeen years. friend, a fellow tion to turn against him. And Well, being a ”re- tournament chess yet, years later, defecting Soviet cluse” is often in player who thinks grandmaster Victor Korchnoi the eye of the Bobby is the backed up Bobby’s ”paranoid” beholder. In Bob- greatest. Fischer charges to the hilt. by’s case, it has actually been Two: Bobby makes excessive, seems to mean denounced for trivial, and loony demands of guarding his privacy against having a young girlfriend, by tournament directors. And yet, the prying of the barracuda people who liken this fact to the virtually all of these supposedly press. Is it really nutty, for a Woody Allen case of quasi- wacko demands have now been celebrity to want the press to incest! adopted, and chess experts have leave him alone? So why the unfair and out-of- begun to see their merits. For Five: The writer in the Wush- line hysteria about Bobby? example: It was Bobby’s correct ington Post, who reached the Well, it turns out that Bobby, an charges of Soviet conspiracy acme of frenzy in denouncing independent thinker in other 11 October 1992 I fields than chess, is definitely and make sure that everyone of -the volunteer ”International not Politically Correct. Appar- them is sound on the Jewish, Brigade to defend the Spanish ently, even chess players are black, gay, Hispanic, disabled, Left (dubbed “Loyalists” in the not allowed to stray beyond the animal rights, and dozens of value-loaded term adopted by narrow bounds of p.c. without other issues of the day? Are we the New York Times and other being severely punished. When going to fit everyone, regard- Respectables). asked about the “sanctions” less of occupation, to the Pro- Note, these were people who against him, Bobby heroically cnistean bed? How far are we displayed no interest whatever, pulled out a letter from the U.S. going to forge the chains of before or since, in Spanish Treasury, warning him that if totalitarianism in our society? history, culture, or politics. So he went through with the Are we going to have say, why all the bother about Spain? match, he would be violating metaphorically, and even Left-liberal historian Allen UN sanctions and subject to literally if he is nabbed for Guttmann has even recorded fine and imprisonment. Bobby ”violation of sanctions”: Free and celebrated this hysteria met this challenge by heroically Bobby Fischer and All Political over Spain in his book, The spitting on the Treasury letter, Prisoners?! Wound in the Heart (the title says and declaring that he doesn’t it all.) One time I asked my recognize the sovereignty of friend Frank S. Meyer, who the in fact, that had been a tclp American Com- the world would be a lot better Liberal Hysteria: munist, about this puzzle. ”Why without the UN. Bobby then The Mystery all the emotionalism about magrufied his deviation from Spain, Frank?” Frank shrugged: the Accepted by de- Explained ”We [the Communists] could nouncing Zionism as racism, M.N.R. never figure it out. But we made and declaring that ”Bolshevism by use of the liberal emotionalism is a mask for Judaism.” The “Why,” an old paleocon on the issue.’’ stunned journalist pointed out friend of mine and I were musing The orthodox explanation of that, as a lad born in the other day, ”why are leftists historians is that American left- of Jewish descent, Fischer is so hysterically opposed to the ists were especially sensitive to himself a Jew under ”Jewish reelection of an innocuous the ”threat of fascism,” and law” because his mother is president like George Bush?” that they were frantically pro- Jewish. One wonders why the M.y friend and I agreed that we Spanish Left because they saw supposedly secular American hadn’t seen such naked media the Civil War as a preview of an press treats “Jewish law” as if bias since the days of the demon- inevitable World War II. But the it were the law of the land; ized Joe McCarthy. Why? Is it problem with that explanation would they accord the same abortion? Feminism? What? is that, while left-liberals were reverence to, say, Muslim law? The first time I had seen left- of course enthusiastically in So we are faced with the im- liberal frenzy at work was grow- favor of the ”good” World War portant question: are we going ing up in the thirties in New [I against the Axis, they never to insist that, successful people York City. In the late Thirties, summoned up quite the same in every walk of life, in order to my leftist family, friends, and emotionalism, quite the same maintain their positions, will neighbors were in a paroxysm of frenzy, even against Hitler, as have to sign on to the entire fear and rage over the counter- they had done against Franco. barrage of politically correct- revolution of Franco and of the To come back to the present: ness? Before we honor or con- looming defeat of the Leftist is the abortion issue the key to sult a dentist, an actor, an astro- Spanish government in the the mania, to the fear and nomer, a baseball pitcher, a Spanish Civil War. There loathing? Yes and no. Yes, composer, are we going to run abounded denunciations of abortion is an important issue them through the gauntlet of Franco, and calls for everythmg Lo the left, but consider the P.c., quiz them unmercifully, hom milk to arms to soldiers situation before Roe o. Wade in 12 October1992