April 2011 Article 3

April 2011 Quickies: Fast Fun for Everyone Millei Ishikawa Iowa State University

Katelyn McCollough Iowa State University

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Recommended Citation Ishikawa, Millei and McCollough, Katelyn (2011) "Quickies: Fast Fun for Everyone," Ethos: Vol. 2011 , Article 3. Available at: http://lib.dr.iastate.edu/ethos/vol2011/iss3/3

This Article is brought to you for free and open access by the Student Publications at Iowa State University Digital Repository. It has been accepted for inclusion in Ethos by an authorized editor of Iowa State University Digital Repository. For more information, please contact [email protected]. fast fun for eveyone

Whoa, what happened? “The first week of living in the dorms was a pretty Some of the Craziest Dorm Stories We Could Find great time. I was finally away from home and able to do what I wanted, so naturally, I partied Design MILLEI ISHIKAWA By KATELYN MCCOLLOUGH all week. Classes hadn’t started yet, so it wasn’t a big deal. During the middle of that first week I More than 8500 ISU students choose to live in residence halls and student realized the dorms would take some getting used apartments across campus each year. Moving into the dorm means joining fourty to, especially after a few drinks. I got back to my to sixty other strangers on your floor alone. Add in the excitement of the weekend dorm in Larch Hall from a party that night and after a long week of classes and some pretty interesting things can happen. went to bed. In the middle of the night I needed to take a piss, so I went to the bathroom on our floor then returned to my room. The next morning I woke up, looked around, and realized I was not

1123 in my room. Two guys I had never met before were looking at me, and I yelled “Where the fuck “What a bitch. So the first couple of weeks start “Well we were studying in a boy’s room. The boys am I?” The first guy responded, “Dude you came and everything is chill and we are friends. Then were messing around hanging condoms and in our room last night, climbed into my loft and she starts getting more comfortable. I walked in tampons on each others doors and then passed out next to me. I was pretty drunk too, so on her masturbating to the Weather Channel one putting ketchup and mustard all over the I just let you have it and slept on the futon below. afternoon! She also had this way-awesome boy- handles as well. They managed to slam the door, Worst part is you refused to give me my blanket.” friend that went to a different school but she was and then it broke for the first time. We were able We laughed and chatted a little longer. Turns messing around with some other dude. She would to fix it with a pocketknife. Later around 1 a.m., out they were a couple of nice guys who lived have sex with him all the time when I was in the three other people and I were in the room and 2 doors down from me, and we’ve been friends room doing homework and sleeping and what- the door got slammed again, this time it broke for ever since.” not. And she would be up watching TV with all good. We weren’t able to open the door, so we Nathan Hughes, Larch Hall, senior the lights on at like 3 or 4 in the morning because took off the screens and fished up tools from my she just stopped going to class. Needless to say, I room directly below. We tried to work on getting left after the first semester!” the door open for an hour and a half. The boys in Margaret Smith, Oak Hall, junior the hall went to go wake up the CA who called the cops, who then called maintenance. It took them “When I lived in Martin, my roommates and I an hour and a half to open the door because they would pull pranks on the guys that lived next were trying to decide on which way was more ec- door to us, but one night, we decided to step it onomically efficient. We finally got out at 5 a.m.!” up. At around 3am, we woke up, got 300 Dixie “Last semester, in the first week of classes, one Sterling Schnepf, freshman cups, filled them each with water and then placed of my suite-mates decided to have shower sex in them around the outside of our neighbors door. our bathroom at 3 a.m. It woke me and my room- When our neighbors woke up, they opened their mate up. So the next day I wrote her a inward-swinging door to find they were “trapped” post-it saying, ‘If you could refrain from having sex by all the Dixie cups. Unfortunately, being men, in OUR shower, it would be greatly appreciated.” “Two guys in gorilla suits chasing a guy in a they just stomped their way through the five feet Jamie Walls, Buchanan Hall, junior banana suit through the dorm. Enough said.” of cups and went to class. The poor custodians had Bailey Morrell, freshman to clean it all up. It was still a good laugh though.” Alexandra Klus, junior don’tbe the person who...

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06| That party last night was awfully crazy, I wish we taped it. Things NOT to do on CyRide Photography AMANDA RIESENBERG TUNES YOU NEED The staff got together and shared some of our 1 2 current earworms. Check them out! “My House” by Kids of 88 “Driving Me Crazy” by Sam Adams “Get It Gooey” by Goone 4 Not since ‘Milkshake’ has a song about the lady bits been so captivating. “Feel Good” by Mode Step “Ayo” by Hypercrush “Stereo Hands” by The White Panda Like ‘No Hands’? Can’t get that ‘Stereo Love’ beat out of your head? Listen to this mashup. Thank us later. 3 5 “Sun of a Gun” by Oh Land, “Get Some” by Lykke Li “You Are a Tourist” by Death Cab for Cutie “Alligator Sky” by Owl City “I Wrote the Book” by Beth Ditto “Wonderland” by Natalia Kills 6 “One Night Stand” by Keri Hilson and Chris Brown “If I Was You” by Far East Movement

1) Keep your phone conversation to yourself. That means lower the volume. “Cardiac Arrest” by Teddybears ft. Robyn 2) Standing so close you’re giving me a lap dance. “Love 2 Baby” by Christan TV P.S. deodorant is your friend. “Sure Thing” by Miguel 3) You only need to pull the cord once. We promise. 4) Understand personal space. Your neighbor is not a pillow. “Lights Turned On” by Childish Gambino 5) Rehearsing your Lumberyard strip moves on the pole. Donald Glover from NBC’s “Community” is not just an awesome comedian, 6) Don’t be the asshole who takes up more than one seat. You’re not that special. ] ] he’s an amazing rapper. Hopefully you caught him at VEISHEA. “Under Cover of Darkness” by The Strokes Back with an album full of infective riffs, The Strokes brought plenty to MAPPING THE NEWS please old fans. “Best Love” by Steve Martin & The Steep Canyon The highs and lows in the news. Rangers feat. Paul McCartney “You Are a Tourist” by Death Cab for Cutie Teen Nick (not regular Nickelodeon) “Someone Like You” by Story County named the third will start airing episodes of “My Brain Says Stop. But My Heart Says Go” healthiest county in Iowa. “Rugrats” and “All That.” The Childish Gambino EP by FM Static

Nursing students at the University of Iowa seeing a AND TUNES YOU CAN LEAVE 40% tuition increase. OFF YOUR IPOD Either Jersey Shore has another Rebecca Black season or there will be spin-offs; We’ll leave out the song title for fear of triggering it in your head. Rebecca Black’s video for “Friday” either way, America loses. Plus, this will be current for any future releases. surpassed “Baby” by Justin Most of Forever, The Sickest Kids newest album. Beiber for being the most disliked New season of Mad Men being “Roll Up” by Wiz Khalifa YouTube video. Republicans crusade against Planned Parenthood, delayed because of disagreement “21st Century Girl” by Willow Smith because obviously we can’t have clinics that spend a vast on product integration. We hope her nightmare music career doesn’t last as long as majority of their time helping distribute contraception and Lil’ Romeo’s. medicine for UTIs.

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