(LGBT) Prospective Foster and Adoptive Parents
Total Page:16
File Type:pdf, Size:1020Kb
FACTSHEET FOR FAMILIES January 2011 Frequently Asked Questions From Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender (LGBT) Prospective Foster and Adoptive Parents The landscape for LGBT adoption is family.1 However, specific challenges changing, with an increasing number of continue to face many LGBT prospective LGBT individuals and couples choosing adoptive parents; they vary depending on to build families through adoption. Many where you live and whether you adopt as a agencies, both public and private, welcome single person or a couple. the LGBT community. Leading child welfare organizations believe that prospective LGBT parents are an excellent resource for 1 Human Rights Campaign: All Children—All Families Promising children and youth in need of a permanent Practices Guide, 2010, at www.hrc.org/issues/parenting/ adoptions/8941.htm Child Welfare Information Gateway Children’s Bureau/ACYF U.S. Department of Health and Human Services 1250 Maryland Avenue, SW Administration for Children and Families Eighth Floor Washington, DC 20024 Administration on Children, Youth and Families 800.394.3366 Children’s Bureau Email: [email protected] www.childwelfare.gov Frequently Asked Questions From Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender (LGBT) Prospective Foster and Adoptive Parents www.childwelfare.gov The adoption process can seem daunting • The number of LGBT families the agency for anyone, straight or gay, and it can has worked with, what percentage of all require a significant commitment of time, families that represents, and how long emotional energy, and financial resources, LGBT families wait to be matched with a depending on the path you take. To make child or children the experience as positive as possible, do • How the agency, if the agency places your homework before getting started. Being infants, represents LGBT families to informed is the first step in the process. expectant parents considering adoption The following answers to frequently asked for their infants questions (FAQs) can help you in this early stage of your journey in adoption.2 • How the agency’s intercountry program, if it has one, works with LGBT families Q: How do I find a welcoming agency? Q: What States allow LGBT A: Finding an agency that is genuinely individuals or same-sex couples to welcoming and affirming is the key to a foster or adopt? successful adoption experience. Begin by A: Most States do not have laws or formal asking other LGBT adoptive parents for policies that address the eligibility of LGBT feedback on the agencies they used and individuals or couples to adopt or serve whether they would recommend a particular as foster parents. Instead, child welfare agency. Conduct your own Internet professionals and judges make placement research by reviewing agency websites for decisions that should be in the best interests images and language that speak to the of the child. A few States have laws that LGBT community, for example, photos of restrict adoption or fostering by gay people two-mom or two-dad families, or client (for example, Mississippi). In States where nondiscrimination statements. You can call same-sex couples can marry legally they an agency directly and ask about its policies can also adopt. In many other States, sexual or request an in-person meeting with a staff orientation or same-sex relationship status person to learn more about the agency’s does not exclude couples from adopting. track record with LGBT families and to get a sense of how open they are. If you live in Some States will allow singles to adopt but a jurisdiction that has laws restricting LGBT will not allow same-sex or unmarried couples adoption, ask the agency how it navigates to adopt. If one member of a couple chooses those challenges. Be sure that the agency to adopt as a single parent because the State can verify that it has placed children with won’t allow second-parent adoption, the LGBT families, and ask to speak to some of parents may want to find a way to complete their LGBT clients. a second-parent adoption in order to provide the child with legal protection. Other topics to explore with agencies are: Before you begin your adoption process, you should research the laws in your 2 See Child Welfare Information Gateway’s Adoption: Where Do I Start? at www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/f_start.cfm jurisdiction. Seek consultation from your This material may be freely reproduced and distributed. However, when doing so, please credit Child Welfare 2 Information Gateway. Available online at www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/factsheets/faq_lgbt.cfm Frequently Asked Questions From Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender (LGBT) Prospective Foster and Adoptive Parents www.childwelfare.gov State equality organization or a national relationship. In States where joint adoption LGBT organization if you are unclear. See is not allowed, you may need to identify Child Welfare Information Gateway’s Who one person to be the primary applicant and May Adopt, Be Adopted, or Place a Child for one to be the “other member of household.” Adoption? Summary of State Laws: Ideally, the agency, and the home study www.childwelfare.gov/systemwide/laws_ social worker in particular, should be aware policies/statutes/parties.pdf. of your sexual orientation, gender identity, and relationship status to help you navigate Q: Should I disclose my sexual the particular challenges in the city, county, orientation or transgender status? or State where you reside. If so, when? If there is a compelling reason why you are A: This is perhaps the most daunting aspect not able to disclose—for example, you live of the adoption process, particularly if you in a State that bans gay adoption, or you live in a State with restrictive laws or if are pursuing intercountry adoption from you are not sure of your agency’s policy. a country that will not place with LGBT Full disclosure in adoption is optimal and families—consult with an LGBT family law advised, whether it’s regarding sexual attorney or LGBT advocacy organization orientation, family history, or other aspects before moving forward. There are often of your personal life and background. LGBT ways to resolve these difficult scenarios. adoptive parents often worry that disclosure There can be irreversible consequences if may disqualify them as adoptive parents or you do not disclose your sexual orientation. lead to greater scrutiny as applicants. For For instance, withholding information single LGBT adults, it may seem irrelevant or not being truthful could exclude an or unnecessary to disclose this information. applicant from the process no matter how Because the decision to place a child with good the reason. Also, it is vital that you you is made by someone else—a birth parent and your partner have the benefit of the or agency professional—it is important and best adoption preparation possible. Without most ethical that the decision be based on an honest relationship between you and a full, honest picture of who will be raising your agency, you could miss essential the child. information or a preparation opportunity. It is best to disclose early in the process, Effective preparation and postadoption perhaps by calling an agency and stating support offer the most promising basis for a that you are a gay man, or a lesbian couple, successful placement for the child and the or a transgender woman—whatever the parents. situation is—and gauging the response over the phone. If you do not disclose right away, Q: What should I expect from the talk with your social worker during the home study or family assessment? home study or family assessment about your A: All types of families may find the home sexual orientation and relationship status, study intrusive; however, this assessment whether you are single or in a committed allows the agency or social worker to best This material may be freely reproduced and distributed. However, when doing so, please credit Child Welfare 3 Information Gateway. Available online at www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/factsheets/faq_lgbt.cfm Frequently Asked Questions From Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender (LGBT) Prospective Foster and Adoptive Parents www.childwelfare.gov match your family’s strengths to the needs in the assessment, contact a supervisor or of a particular child or children. It’s good to agency administrator. keep that thought in mind when preparing for your home study. Q: What do I do if I think an agency The home study can create added anxiety is discriminating or being unfair? for LGBT individuals and couples, A: As noted above, if you feel at any time particularly when there are concerns about that a particular agency staff person is being the agency policies and questions about unfair, disrespectful, or discriminatory, disclosure. Again, by sharing early on that you should share your concerns first you are an LGBT individual or couple, there with that person. There may be a simple is a greater likelihood that the home study misunderstanding that can be corrected social worker will be better prepared to immediately. If you do not get a reasonable conduct your family assessment. response, go to the supervisor or agency administrator. Many LGBT applicants wonder if they should “straighten up” the home before the Keep in mind that while there is still social worker visits by taking down certain discrimination, and the potential for being photos or artwork or removing some books treated unfairly definitely exists, what from view. These thoughts are normal for you might perceive as discrimination or all prospective parents, straight or gay, in an homophobia may be something else. For effort to make the best possible impression example, you may feel that you are not on the social worker and prepare the home getting calls returned because you are environment for the arrival of a child.