THE CHURCH OF JESUS CHRIST OF LATTER-DAY SAINTS • JUNE 2006

COVER STORY: A New View of the Prophet Joseph, p. 40 Dating versus Hanging Out, p. 10 Worldwide Leadership Training Meeting, p. 81 COURTESY OF BRUCE AND LENNA CARVER House of Light, by David Koch The Logan Temple, as all temples, becomes a house of light because of priesthooddinances or performed there. “For the word of the Lord is truth, and whatsoever is truth is light, and whatsoever is light is Spirit. . . . And the Spirit giveth light toy ever man . . . that hearkeneth to the voice of the Spirit. . . . And the Father teacheth him of the covenant which he has renewed and confirmed upon you” (D&C 84:45–46, 48). JUNE 2006 • VOLUME 36, NUMBER 6

2 FIRST PRESIDENCY MESSAGE Voice of the Spirit President James E. Faust 7 Hymn Mary Margaret Hawkins 8 The Experiment Karen Case Ho-Ching 10 Dating versus Hanging Out Elder Dallin H. Oaks 17 Dating: He Says, She Says Kimberly Webb 22 Modesty Matters 27 Family Home Evening: For the Fun of It Dating versus 30 LESSONS FROM THE OLD TESTAMENT 10 Hanging Out True Friendship and Self-Respect Elder Lynn A. Mickelsen 34 GOSPEL CLASSICS The Profile of a Prophet President Hugh B. Brown 40 Joseph Smith: Prophet of the Restoration 45 Faithe, Hope, and Elijah Joyce Fink 48 THE FULNESS OF THE GOSPEL The Fall of Adam and Eve 81 Worldwide Leadership Training Meeting: 50 A Chilly Morning in Queens Supporting the Family Amie Jane Leavitt 53 Six Ways to Keep Your Marriage Strong 70 RANDOM SAMPLER Wendi Lyn Jensen 72 NEWS OF THE CHURCH 56 LESSONS FROM THE OLD TESTAMENT Obedience Is Better Than Sacrifice 81 WORLDWIDE LEADERSHIP TRAINING Elder David F. Evans MEETING:SUPPORTING THE FAMILY 58 A Greater Love Eve Burch 82 Marriage Is Essential to His Eternal Plan Elder David A. Bednar 61 VISITING TEACHING MESSAGE Exercising Charity and Nurturing 88 A Solemn Responsibility to Love and Modesty Care for Each Other Elder L. Tom Perry 22 Matters Those in Need 62 QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS 93 Parents Have a Sacred Duty How can family members avoid conflict Bonnie D. Parkin over division of assets when a loved 98 Heavenly Homes, Forever Families one dies? President Thomas S. Monson 65 LATTER-DAY SAINT VOICES 104 The Family: A Proclamation to the World

ON THE COVER: Front: Photography by John Luke. Back: Photography by Matthew Reier and John Luke.

AN OFFICIAL MAGAZINE OF THE CHURCH SENIOR SECRETARY: Christy Rusch TO CHANGE ADDRESS: Send both old and new address OF JESUS CHRIST OF LATTER-DAY SAINTS PUBLICATIONS ASSISTANT: Sally J. Odekirk information to Distribution Services at the above address. ARKETING ANAGER THE FIRST PRESIDENCY: Gordon B. Hinckley, M M : Larry Hiller Please allow 60 days for changes to take effect. Thomas S. Monson, James E. Faust MANAGING ART DIRECTOR: M. M. Kawasaki SUBMIT MANUSCRIPTS OR ART TO: [email protected] QUORUM OF THE TWELVE: Boyd K. Packer, L. Tom Perry, ART DIRECTOR: J. Scott Knudsen (e-mail) or Ensign Editorial, 50 E. North Temple St., Rm. 2420, Russell M. Nelson, Dallin H. Oaks, M. Russell Ballard, Salt Lake City, UT 84150-3220, USA. Unsolicited material is Joseph B. Wirthlin, Richard G. Scott, Robert D. Hales, DESIGN AND PRODUCTION STAFF: Cali R. Arroyo, welcome, but no responsibility is assumed. For return, include Jeffrey R. Holland, Henry B. Eyring, Dieter F. Uchtdorf, Collette Nebeker Aune, C. Kimball Bott, self-addressed, stamped envelope. David A. Bednar Thomas S. Child, Colleen Hinckley, Eric P. Johnsen, Jane Ann Peters, Randall J. Pixton, Scott Van Kampen The Ensign can be found on the Internet at www.lds.org. EDITOR: Jay E. Jensen Click on “Gospel Library.” ADVISERS: Monte J. Brough, Gary J. Coleman, PRINTING DIRECTOR: Craig K. Sedgwick Yoshihiko Kikuchi DISTRIBUTION DIRECTOR: Kris T Christensen Text and visual material in the Ensign may be copied for MANAGING DIRECTOR: David L. Frischknecht © 2006 BY INTELLECTUAL RESERVE, INC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. incidental, noncommercial church or home use. Visual EDITORIAL DIRECTOR: Victor D. Cave The Ensign (ISSN 0884-1136) is published monthly by material may not be copied if restrictions are indicated in SENIOR EDITOR: Larry Hiller The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 50 E. the credit line with the artwork. Copyright questions should GRAPHICS DIRECTOR: Allan R. Loyborg North Temple Street, Salt Lake City, UT 84150-3220, USA. be addressed to Intellectual Property Office, 50 E. North Periodicals Postage Paid at Salt Lake City, Utah, and at Temple Street, Salt Lake City, UT 84150-3011; e-mail: MANAGING EDITOR: Don L. Searle additional mailing offices. [email protected]. ASSISTANT MANAGING EDITOR: LaRene Porter Gaunt The Profile SENIOR EDITORS: Linda Stahle Cooper, Judith M. Paller, TO SUBSCRIBE: By phone, call 1-800-537-5971 to order using POSTMASTER: Send address changes to Distribution Services, 34 Rebecca M. Taylor, Roger Terry Visa, MasterCard, Discover Card, or American P.O. Box 26368, Salt Lake City, UT 84126-0368, USA. of a Prophet EDITORIAL STAFF: Susan Barrett, Andrew T. Cargal, Ryan Carr, Express. Online, go to ldscatalog.com. By mail, send Monica L. Dickinson, Jenifer L. Greenwood, R. Val Johnson, $10 U.S. check or money order to Distribution Services, CANADA POST INFORMATION: Publication Agreement Adam C. Olson P.O. Box 26368, Salt Lake City, UT 84126-0368. #40017431 2 FIRST PRESIDENCY MESSAGE Voice of the Spirit

BY PRESIDENT JAMES E. FAUST Second Counselor in the First Presidency

feel deeply my responsibility to teach are “love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentle- sacred things. I am so aware that the ness, goodness, faith, meekness, temper- I world is changing and will be vastly differ- ance.”5 The joy we seek is not a temporary ent from the one I have known. Values have emotional high, but a habitual inner joy shifted. Basic decency and respect for good learned from long experience and trust things are eroding. A moral blackness is set- in God. Lehi’s teaching to his son Jacob tling in. In many ways our young people are declares, “Men are, that they might have the hope of the future, like valuable diamonds joy.”6 To achieve this great objective, we must that shine better against a dark background. “give ear to the voice of the living God.” I wish to testify as I turn to a scriptural text found in the I wish to testify as a living witness that joy a living witness Doctrine and Covenants: “Give ear to the voice does come through listening to the Spirit, that joy does come of the living God.”1 The voice of the Spirit is for I have experienced it. Those who live through listening to available to all. The Lord said, “The Spirit the gospel learn to live “after the manner the Spirit, for I have enlighteneth every man [and every woman] of happiness”7 as did the Nephites. All over experienced it. . . . that hearkeneth to the voice of the Spirit.” the world, in the many countries where the He further said that “every one that heark- Church is established, members could add eneth to the voice of the Spirit cometh unto their testimonies to mine. Abundant evidence God, even the Father.”2 Some people are seek- verifies the promise of peace, hope, love, and ing to find the abundant life. Paul made it clear joy as gifts of the Spirit. Our voices join in a that it is “the spirit [that] giveth life.”3 Indeed, united petition for all of God’s children to TOGRAPH BY BUSATH PHOTOGRAPHY BUSATH BY TOGRAPH the Savior said, “The words that I speak unto partake of these gifts also. you, they are spirit, and they are life.”4 Voices of the World Joy Is a Gift But we hear other voices. Paul said, “There One might ask, then what are the fruits of are . . . so many kinds of voices in the world”8

PAINTING PHO KRIVENKO; DAMIR BY the Spirit? Paul answered this by saying they that compete with the voice of the Spirit. The

ENSIGN JUNE 2006 3 Spirit’s voice is ever present, but it is calm. Said Isaiah, Where is the knowledge we have lost in information?”11 “The work of righteousness shall be peace; and the effect It may be harder for our rising generation to be faithful, of righteousness quietness and assurance for ever.”9 The perhaps in some ways even more challenging than pulling adversary tries to smother this voice with a multitude of a handcart across the plains. When someone died in the loud, persistent, persuasive, and appealing voices: wilderness of frontier America, that person’s physical remains were buried and the handcarts continued west, • Murmuring voices that conjure up perceived injustices. but the mourning survivors had hope for their loved one’s • Whining voices that abhor challenge and work. eternal soul. However, when someone dies spiritually in • Seductive voices that offer sensual enticements. the wilderness of sin, hope may be replaced by dread and • Soothing voices that lull us into carnal security. fear for the loved one’s eternal welfare. • Intellectual voices that profess sophistication and Many in the younger generation have been condi- superiority. tioned by the world to want it all and to want it • Proud voices that rely on the arm of flesh. now. They do not want to save or work. Such • Flattering voices that puff us up with pride. self-centered, impatient desires make them • Cynical voices that destroy hope. susceptible to temptation. The Book of • Entertaining voices that promote Mormon identifies four categories of pleasure seeking. enticements that Satan appeals to: • Commercial voices that tempt us to “spend money for that which is of no worth, [and • Getting gain. s tiny drops our] labor for that which cannot satisfy.”10 • Gaining power over the flesh. of water • Delirious voices that spawn the desire for • Gaining popularity in the eyes of the world. shape a a “high.” I refer not to a drug- or alcohol- A • Seeking the lusts of the flesh and the things landscape, so our induced high, but to the pursuing of dan- of the world.12 minute-by-minute gerous, death-defying experiences for choices shape our Satan’s tactic is to “turn their hearts away nothing more than a thrill. Life, even our character. from the truth, that they become blinded and own, is so precious that we are account- understand not the things which are prepared able to the Lord for it, and we should not for them.”13 He creates a smoke screen that obscures our trifle with it. Once gone, it cannot be called back. vision and diverts our attention. President Heber J. Grant (1856–1945) stated: “If we are Bombarded with Messages faithful in keeping the commandments of God His prom- Today we are barraged by multitudes of voices telling ises will be fulfilled to the very letter. . . . The trouble is, us how to live, how to gratify our passions, how to have the adversary of men’s souls blinds their minds. He throws it all. At our fingertips we have software, databases, tele- dust, so to speak, in their eyes, and they are blinded with vision channels, interactive computer modems, satellite the things of this world.”14 receivers, and communications networks that suffocate us with information. There are fewer places of refuge and Hearing Righteous Voices serenity. Our young people are bombarded with evil and How are we possibly going to select which voices we wickedness like no other generation. As I contemplate will listen to and believe? The implications for us as individ- this prospect, I am reminded of the poet T. S. Eliot’s uals are staggering. To spiritually survive, we must do at

words: “Where is the wisdom we have lost in knowledge? least these four things. MODELS JOHN LUKE, POSED BY BY PHOTOGRAPHY

4 First, we must exercise moral agency consider the end of our salvation.17 Someone suggest a simple wisely. Amaleki tells us how we can make has said, “You must stand up for something, solution for proper choices: “There is nothing which is or you will fall for everything.” I selecting the good save it comes from the Lord: and that The more righteous part of the Nephites channel to which which is evil cometh from the devil.”15 Every had to focus their attention in order to hear we attune ourselves: moment demands that we choose, over and the voice that preceded the Savior’s appear- follow the voice of the over again, between that which comes from ance among them. “They heard a voice as if Spirit. This solution the Lord and that which comes from the it came out of heaven; and they cast their is peaceful in a devil. As tiny drops of water shape a land- eyes round about, for they understood not world enamored scape, so our minute-by-minute choices the voice which they heard; and it was not of that which is shape our character. a harsh voice, neither was it a loud voice; loud, incessant, Second, we must have a purpose. The nevertheless, and notwithstanding it being a and fast paced. late prime minister David Ben-Gurion of small voice it did pierce them that did hear to Israel once made a statement about Leon the center, insomuch that there was no part Trotsky, one of the architects of the Russian of their frame that it did not cause to quake; Communist revolution. Trotsky, he said, yea, it did pierce them to the very soul, and was no leader. He was brilliant, but he was did cause their hearts to burn.”18 They heard no leader because he had no purpose.16 the voice a second time and did not under- Everyone in life needs to have a purpose. stand. When they heard the voice the third As members of Christ’s Church, we are to time, they “did open their ears to hear it; and

ENSIGN JUNE 2006 5 their eyes were towards the sound thereof; and they did world to come.”24 These are the greatest of all the gifts look steadfastly towards heaven, from whence the sound of God.25 ■ came.”19 If we are to hearken to the voice of the Spirit, we NOTES 1. D&C 50:1. Church: Heber J. Grant (2002), too must open our ears, turn the eye of faith to the source 2. D&C 84:46–47. 30–31. of the voice, and look steadfastly towards heaven. 3. 2 Corinthians 3:6. 15. Omni 1:25. 4. John 6:63. 16. See Academy of Achievement, Third, we must strengthen our testimony. We all need 5. Galatians 5:22–23. “Interview: Shimon Peres,” 6. 2 Nephi 2:25. Internet, http://www to study the plan of salvation and learn of our relationship 7. 2 Nephi 5:27. .achievement.org. to God. As we walk by faith, we will have confirmed in our 8. 1 Corinthians 14:10. 17. See D&C 46:7. 9. Isaiah 32:17. 18. 3 Nephi 11:3. hearts spiritual experiences which will strengthen our faith 10. 2 Nephi 9:51. 19. See 3 Nephi 11:4–5. 11. “Choruses from ‘The Rock,’ ” 20. D&C 68:4. and testimony. The Complete Poems and 21. D&C 18:35. Fourth, we must search the scriptures, which are “the Plays (1930), 96. 22. See 2 Corinthians 4:18; 5:7. 12. See 1 Nephi 22:23. 23. Isaiah 30:21. voice of the Lord, and the power of God unto salvation.”20 13. D&C 78:10. 24. D&C 59:23. The Lord also said of His word, as found in the scriptures, 14. Teachings of Presidents of the 25. See D&C 14:7. “For it is my voice which speaketh them unto you; for they are given by my Spirit unto you.”21 IDEAS FOR HOME TEACHERS I suggest a simple solution for selecting the channel to After prayerfully studying this message, share it using a which we attune ourselves: listen to and follow the voice method that encourages the participation of those you teach. of the Spirit. This is an ancient solution, even eternal, Following are some examples: and may not be popular in a society that is always looking 1. Turn on a radio, and tune it to different stations. Point for something new. It requires patience in a world that out how some stations come in clearly and some have static. demands instant gratification. This solution is quiet, peace- Compare the static to voices of the world and the clear recep- ful, and subtle in a world enamored of that which is loud, tion to being in tune with the voice of the Spirit. Share some incessant, fast paced, garish, and crude. This solution of President Faust’s counsel on listening to the Spirit. requires you to be contemplative while your peers seek 2. To discuss how to better hear the Spirit’s voice, talk physical titillation. (This may seem foolish in a time when with the family about some of the 11 voices President Faust it is not worth remembering much of the trivial tripe to mentions that can mask our reception of the Spirit or about which we are exposed.) This solution is one unified, con- the 4 ways he teaches “to spiritually survive.” Ask family sistent, age-old message in a world that quickly becomes members to share experiences they have had in recognizing bored in the absence of intensity, variety, and novelty. This and following the voice of the Spirit. solution requires us to walk by faith in a world governed 3. Ask family members to read the following scriptures by sight.22 With the eye of faith we are to see eternal, that President Faust cites: John 6:63; 2 Corinthians 3:6; unseen, spiritual verities, while the masses of mankind D&C 50:1; 84:46–47. Invite them to find the common theme depend solely on temporal things which can be known in these verses. Read parts of the article that describe the only through the physical senses. blessings that can come from following the voice of the Spirit. We need to learn how to ponder the things of the Spirit Testify of the power of the Spirit in your own life. and to respond to its promptings—to filter out the static generated by Satan. As we become attuned to the Spirit, we “shall hear a word behind [us], saying, This is the way, walk ye in it.”23 Hearkening to the “voice of the living God” will give us “peace in this world, and eternal life in the

6 HYMNHYMN BY MARY MARGARET HAWKINS I sat in front of you You were graciously in tune. In Relief Society I turned and was startled This morning as we sang: To see who you were: “More holiness give me” “More faith in my Savior”

I was faltering in my Smiling, assured, you sat there, Search for the harmony. A familiar sister-friend My voice quivered and slid: Whom I had pitied: “More strivings within” “More used would I be”

Timid in my weakness, But His grace had sanctified Your confident alto Your soul’s dark wrenching Was my steady cue: And left you peace-brilliant: “More patience in suffering” “More blessed and holy”

You kept me secure through the Now yours was the sure song, Counterpoint; I was grateful A still-sustaining testament Not to be alone: Echoing God’s mercy:

PHOTO ILLUSTRATION BY DAVID STOKER DAVID BY ILLUSTRATION PHOTO “More sorrow for sin” “More, Savior, like thee.”

ENSIGN JUNE 2006 7 THETHE EXPERIMENTEXPERIMENT

One student constantly disrupted my day, we decided to try an experiment. The students would class—until we came up with an idea. go out of their way to be nice to him. They would even sit with him in the cafeteria and invite him to join them on BY KAREN CASE HO-CHING the playground. No one would tease or laugh at him. fter graduating from BYU–Hawaii, I began teaching As the days went by, his shock turned to great joy. The at Kahuku Elementary School. My first class was a students found that he was a very good athlete, so they A combination of fifth- and sixth-graders. One stu- always chose him first when picking teams. I watched him dent spent most of his time in special education but came walking on the playground with his arm over another to my class for a couple of hours each day. He was quite student’s shoulder. His attitude disruptive and had no friends. He ate by himself in the changed in the classroom. cafeteria and walked around the playground alone during recess. He was never chosen to play on a team, and the other students laughed at him and picked on him. One day he disrupted my class with several irrelevant comments, and the other students were laughing at him. I told him I wanted him to write down all his “inventive” ideas and suggested to the class that he might write a special movie script someday and hire some of them to work for him. That quieted their laughing, and it started him writing. After he left for his special- education classes that

8 When he made irrelevant comments, no one laughed. school year, our special student was honored because of the He began completing his assignments, just as the other great progress he had made. When his name was announced, students did. Soon he begged me to let him stay in my there was a collective gasp in the auditorium. Other teachers classroom the whole day. He didn’t want to go to his looked at me as if I didn’t know what I was doing. Then, one special-education classes. I told him the only way he could by one, each of my students stood up and started clapping. do that was to listen, not be disruptive, and complete all The whole auditorium erupted in applause, and an aston- his assignments. He promised, and we got special permis- ished little boy turned to me with tears in his eyes and asked, sion to try this. He did well. “Me?” With tears running down my face, I nodded yes. One day I was called into the principal’s office because His parents met me after the assembly. They were over- one of my boys had been in a playground scuffle. He come with emotion for their son and his accomplishments. explained to us that students from other classes were teas- They said they had waited each week for the call from the ing his new friend and classmate. When the principal began school to come and pick up their son. But the call never to explain that this was no excuse, I told her about our came. One day when they did receive a call from the experiment. She was very familiar with our special student, school, it was an invitation to celebrate his accomplish- having had him in her office every week for the past five ments. They told me he had been a normal child until he years. I suggested that we send word out to all the classes started kindergarten. But he was placed in the lowest to leave him alone because my students would defend him, groups, was ignored, and seemed to always be getting in even if it meant we would be in her office every week. trouble. The problems escalated each year, and he was The school psychologist came to my class to observe. placed in the special-education program. She could not believe the difference in him and in his IQ Our family moved shortly after this. When I had a chance scores, which are not supposed to vary by more than two to visit Hawaii a few months later, I drove through his neigh- points either way. His scores had soared. She wanted to borhood and found him playing basketball with other chil- know what had happened to make these changes. I simply dren from our class. He was laughing and happy. He showed introduced her to a very special group of children who had me how he could make a basket from almost any point on tried a life-altering experiment. the court. He was far different from the frustrated little boy Every month our school held an awards assembly at who had walked into my room less than a year before. which one boy and one girl from each class were honored. This young man became captain of the football team None of the other students knew who would be honored in high school and graduated with many friends, taking until the names were read, but the school notified their only regular classes—all because a group of children had ■ ILLUSTRATED BY RICHARD HULL BY ILLUSTRATED parents so they could be at the assembly. In January of that decided to see the worth of one soul.

ENSIGN JUNE 2006 9 DATING versus HANGING OUT

BY ELDER DALLIN H. OAKS Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles On May 1, 2005, Elder Dallin H. Oaks spoke to young single adults at a Church Educational System fireside telecast from Oakland, California. Following is an excerpt from that address. n his address at the BYU spring 2005 commencement exercise, Elder Earl C. Tingey of the Seventy referred to an article in a re- Icent issue of Time magazine. It states that the years from 18 to 25 have become “a distinct and separate life stage, a strange, transitional never-never land between adolescence and adulthood in which peo- ple stall for a few extra years, [postponing] . . . adult responsibility.” My single young The article describes these transitional individuals as “permanent friends, we counsel adolescents, . . . twentysomething Peter Pans.”1 Putting this analysis in you to channel your terms more familiar to his audience of BYU graduates and their families, associations with Elder Tingey spoke of “the indecision some college graduates have in . . . the opposite sex into accepting the responsibilities of marriage and family.”2 dating patterns that This tendency to postpone adult responsibilities, including marriage have the potential and family, is surely visible among our Latter-day Saint young adults. to mature into The average age at marriage has increased in the last few decades, marriage. and the number of children born to LDS married couples has decreased. It is timely to share some concerns about some current practices in the relationships of young LDS singles in North America. Knowledgeable observers report that dating has nearly disappeared

10 ILLUSTRATED BY DILLEEN MARSH BY ILLUSTRATED

ENSIGN JUNE 2006 11 from college campuses Whatever draws us away from commitments and among young adults weakens our capacity to participate in the generally. It has been plan. Dating involves commitments, if only replaced by something for a few hours. Hanging out requires no called “hanging out.”3 commitments, at least not for the men if the You young people appar- women provide the food and shelter. ently know what this is, 2. The leveling effect of the women’s but I will describe it for the movement has contributed to discourage benefit of those of us who are dating. As women’s options have increased middle-aged or older and other- and some women have become more aggres- wise uninformed. Hanging out con- sive, some men have become reluctant to en, sists of numbers of young men and young take traditional male initiatives, such as ask- gather women joining together in some group ing for dates, lest they be thought to qualify Myour activity. It is very different from dating. for the dreaded label “male chauvinist.” courage and For the benefit of some of you who are 3. Hanging out is glamorized on TV look for someone not middle-aged or older, I also may programs about singles. to pair off with. need to describe what dating is. Unlike 4. The meaning and significance of a Start with a variety hanging out, dating is not a team sport. “date” has also changed in such a way as to of dates with a Dating is pairing off to experience the kind price dating out of the market. I saw this variety of young of one-on-one association and temporary trend beginning among our younger chil- women, and when commitment that can lead to marriage in dren. For whatever reason, high school boys that phase yields some rare and treasured cases. felt they had to do something elaborate or a good prospect, What has made dating an endangered bizarre to ask for a date, especially for an proceed to species? I am not sure, but I can see some event like a prom, and girls felt they had to courtship. contributing factors: do likewise to accept. In addition, a date had 1. The cultural tides in our world run to be something of an expensive production. strongly against commitments in family rela- I saw some of this on the BYU tionships. For example, divorce has campus during the ’70s. I been made legally easy, and remember seeing one childbearing has become couple having a dinner unpopular. These catered by friends on pressures against the median strip be- commitments tween lanes of traffic obviously serve the just south of the BYU devil’s opposition football stadium. to the Father’s plan All of this made dating for His children. more difficult. And the That plan relies on more elaborate and ex- covenants or com- pensive the date, the mitments kept. fewer the dates. As dates

12 become fewer and more elaborate, this boy-girl patterns seems to create an expectation that a date im- you were coun- plies seriousness or continuing commitment. seled to follow That expectation discourages dating even when you were 15, more. Gone is the clumsy and inexpensive it is time for you to phone call your parents and grandparents grow up. Gather and I used to make. That call went something your courage and like this: “What’re ya doin’ tonight? How look for someone about a movie?” Or, “How about taking a walk to pair off with. downtown?” Cheap dates like that can be fre- Start with a variety quent and nonthreatening, since they don’t of dates with a seem to imply a continuing commitment. variety of young Simple and more frequent dates allow women, and when both men and women to “shop around” in that phase yields a way that allows extensive evaluation of the a good prospect, prospects. The old-fashioned date was a won- proceed to court- derful way to get acquainted with a member ship. It’s marriage of the opposite sex. It encouraged conversa- time. That is what tion. It allowed you to see how you treat oth- the Lord intends ers and how you are treated in a one-on-one for His young adult situation. It gave opportunities to learn how sons and daugh- to initiate and sustain a mature relationship. ters. Men have the None of that happens in hanging out. initiative, and you men should get on with imple My single brothers and sisters, follow the it. If you don’t know what a date is, perhaps and more simple dating pattern and you don’t need to this definition will help. I heard it from my Sfrequent do your looking through Internet chat rooms 18-year-old granddaughter. A “date” must dates allow both or dating services—two alternatives that can pass the test of three p’s: (1) planned ahead, men and women be very dangerous or at least unnecessary or (2) paid for, and (3) paired off. to “shop around” ineffective. Young women, resist too much hanging in a way that There is another possible contributing out, and encourage dates that are simple, in- allows extensive factor to the demise of dating and the expensive, and frequent. Don’t make it easy evaluation prominence of the culture of hanging out. for young men to hang out in a setting where of the prospects. For many years the Church has counseled you women provide the food. Don’t subsi- young people not to date before age 16. dize freeloaders. An occasional group activity Perhaps some young adults, especially is OK, but when you see men who make men, have carried that wise counsel to hanging out their primary interaction with excess and determined not to date before the opposite sex, I think you should lock the 26 or maybe even 36. pantry and bolt the front door. Men, if you have returned from your If you do this, you should also hang up mission and you are still following the a sign, “Will open for individual dates,”

ENSIGN JUNE 2006 13 start moving. Prepare yourself for life—even a single life—by education, experience, and planning. Don’t wait for happiness to be thrust upon you. Seek it out in service and learning. Make a life for yourself. And trust in the Lord. Follow King Benjamin’s advice to call “on the name of the Lord daily, and [stand] steadfastly in the faith of that which is to come” (Mosiah 4:11). Now, single sisters, I have an expert wit- or some- ness to invite to the stand at this time. It is thing like that. And, my wife, Kristen, who, as an adult, was single young women, please for about 35 years before we married. I am make it easier for these shy males to ask for a asking her to come up and tell us what is in ating is simple, inexpensive date. Part of making it her heart. pairing off easier is to avoid implying that a date is some- Sister Kristen Oaks: Thank you, Elder Dto experience thing very serious. If we are to persuade Oaks. I was married in my middle 50s, and the kind of one-on- young men to ask for dates more frequently, I feel like I’m becoming the poster girl for one association we must establish a mutual expectation that “old.” that can lead to go on a date is not to imply a continuing Before I start, I feel to tell you how much to marriage. commitment. Finally, young women, if you you are loved by your Heavenly Father. We turn down a date, be kind. Otherwise you are in Oakland, and I’ve just been to the visi- may crush a nervous and shy questioner and tors’ center across the way with President destroy him as a potential dater, and that Robert Bauman of the mission. We saw the could hurt some other sister. Christus and the video Special Witnesses of My single young friends, we counsel you to Christ, and they went into my heart. channel your associations with the opposite This is your time. Make it count by dedi- sex into dating patterns that have the potential cating your time to your Heavenly Father. to mature into marriage, not hanging-out I love what President Boyd K. Packer says patterns that only have the prospect to mature about the Atonement. The Atonement is not into team sports like touch football. Marriage something that happens at the end of our is not a group activity—at least, not until the lives. It is something that happens every day children come along in goodly numbers. of our lives. And so I say to our single sisters, Up to this point I have concentrated prima- make it count. rily on the responsibilities of single men. Now It can be very painful to be single for such I have a few words for single women. a long time, especially in a church of families. If you are just marking time waiting for a I know how it feels. On my 50th birthday my marriage prospect, stop waiting. You may brother-in-law was reading the newspaper. never have the opportunity for a suitable He said, “Hey, it says here in the paper that marriage in this life, so stop waiting and at age 50 your chances for getting killed by

14 terrorists are better than your chances for Father. In Helaman getting married.” I knew that dating was 3:35 we read that if we tough when he said that, but don’t give up. yield our hearts unto It isn’t a terrorist activity. God, all our actions I would also say to you, be balanced. As serve to sanctify us, a single woman, I had to go forward. I got and so any time be- a doctorate and became so involved in my comes a blessed time. profession that I forgot about being a good You are my favorite person. I would say to everyone in this room, group in the world. always remember that your first calling is as a You are most dear to mother or as a father. Develop those domestic me because I know talents, talents of love and talents of service. what it feels like to As a single, I had to go searching for service be in your shoes. I projects, and now I have one every night was in them for a very long time. repare across the table. I’m so thankful for that. I want you to know that this is the Church yourself In closing, I think about the painful times of the living God, The Church of Jesus Christ P for life in our lives. They will happen whether you of Latter-day Saints. It is His Church. I’m by education, are single or whether you are married. You so thankful that we have a living prophet, experience, and may have a child who is very ill or experience President Gordon B. Hinckley. And most of planning. Don’t wait the death of someone close to you or have a all, I know that we have a Heavenly Father for happiness to be period of life that is very lonely. You may lose who loves us, as He was my best friend when thrust upon you. a child or have a situation you have no con- there was no one else to love me. I say this in Seek it out in service trol over, such as a lingering disease. I would the name of Jesus Christ, amen. and learning. ask you to consecrate that to Heavenly Elder Dallin H. Oaks: Thank you, Kristen. Now, brothers and sisters, if you are troubled about something we have just said, please listen very carefully to what I will say now. Perhaps you are a young man feeling pressured by what I have said about the need to start a pattern of dating that can lead to marriage, or you are a young woman troubled by what we have said about needing to get on with your life. If you feel you are a special case, so that the strong counsel I have given doesn’t apply to you, please don’t write me a letter. Why would I make this request? I have learned that the kind of direct counsel I have given

ENSIGN JUNE 2006 15 results in a large number of killing pursuant to a lawful order in an armed letters from members who conflict. But don’t ask me to give an opinion feel they are an excep- on your exception. I only teach the general tion, and they want rules. Whether an exception applies to you is me to confirm that your responsibility. You must work that out the things I have individually between you and the Lord. said just don’t The Prophet Joseph Smith taught this apply to them same thing in another way. When he was in their special asked how he governed such a diverse group circumstance. of Saints, he said, “I teach them correct prin- I will explain why ciples, and they govern themselves.”4 In what I can’t offer much com- I have just said, I am simply teaching correct fort in response to that kind principles and inviting each one of you to act of letter by telling you an ex- upon these principles by governing yourself. perience I had with another person who was Brothers and sisters, I pray that the things troubled by a general rule. I gave a talk in that have been said this evening will be car- t’s marriage which I mentioned the commandment ried into your hearts and understood by the time. That is “Thou shalt not kill” (Exodus 20:13). power of the Holy Ghost with the same in- Iwhat the Lord Afterward a man came up to me in tears tent that they have been uttered, which is intends for His saying that what I had said showed there to bless your lives, to give comfort to the young adult sons was no hope for him. “What do you mean?” afflicted, and to afflict the comfortable. and daughters. I asked him. This is the Church of Jesus Christ. He suf- He explained that he had been a machine fered and He died in the terrible agonies of gunner during the Korean War. During a Gethsemane and Calvary in order to give us frontal assault, his machine gun mowed the assurance of immortality and the opportu- down scores of enemy infantry. Their bodies nity for eternal life. I pray that the Lord will were piled so high in front of his gun that he bless each of us as we seek to keep the com- and his men had to push them away in order mandments of the Lord, to set our sights ever to maintain their field of fire. He had killed a higher, and to accomplish in our day-to-day de- hundred, he said, and now he must be going cisions what I’ve called the tranquil and steady to hell because I had spoken of the Lord’s dedication of a lifetime. This is the Church of commandment “Thou shalt not kill.” Jesus Christ, restored in these latter days, with The explanation I gave that man is the the power of the priesthood and the fulness same explanation I give to you if you feel you of His gospel. Of that I bear witness. ■ are an exception to what I have said. As a NOTES 1. Lev Grossman, “Grow Up? Not So Fast,” Time, , I have the responsibility to Jan. 24, 2005, 44, 42. 2. University commencement address, preach general principles. When I do, I don’t Apr. 21, 2005. 3. See Bruce A. Chadwick, “Hanging Out, Hooking Up, try to define all the exceptions. There are and Celestial Marriage,” in Brigham Young University exceptions to some rules. For example, we 2002–2003 Speeches (2003), 1–8. 4. Quoted in , “The Organization of the believe the commandment is not violated by Church,” Millennial Star, Nov. 15, 1851, 339.

16 “HeSays” What can single Church members do to find “SheSays” success in their dating? BY KIMBERLY WEBB Church Magazines ou pick up the phone, ready to dial. Are you nervous to Yask for a date? Don’t be. A lot of single adults are in your shoes. Many Latter-day Saint singles are trying to reduce the time they spend hang- ing out. Group activities are important in helping singles meet and build friendships, but moving beyond hanging out to- ward courtship and mar- riage is also essential. Dating may not be acceptable in some cultures, but wherever possible, Latter-day Saints are striving to date more regularly. The Ensign interviewed North American single Church members to find out what they thought would help their dating experience go more smoothly. Here are some of their responses. PHOTOGRAPHY BY STEVE BUNDERSON BY PHOTOGRAPHY

ENSIGN JUNE 2006 17 TO THE women

“HeSays” A more subtle approach is catching someone’s eye and “smiling so he knows you wanted him to see you,” Shane says. Do this a few times so it won’t be dismissed as coincidental, “then make yourself available. Wander past the refreshment table by yourself, for example.” Michael says it helps if a woman socializes after church and occasionally separates herself from her friends. This gives men a window of opportunity to approach her. Men sometimes avoid singling out a woman surrounded by friends, another single adult says, because they don’t want to be impolite toward the other women in the group. It’s important that women be sensitive to men’s fear of rejection, Will says. “Some men feel a little intimidated or shy and may beat around the bush.” If a woman is BY BRIAN T. KERSHISNIK BRIAN T. BY interested, “it’s important that she help him feel as com- fortable as possible.” Women may lighten the situation by encouraging small talk or by using gentle humor, EITHER OR EITHER, being careful not to tease. Communicate Interest Women as well as men have a responsibility to try to Honest communication can build trusting friendships. date, Brandon points out. Even if men primarily extend date At times, honesty includes having the courage to express invitations, women have more control in expressing interest interest. than they may realize. They can initiate new friendships and, One young single adult, Dan, says if interest “is not in some cases, help spark new dating relationships. communicated, you are communicating a lack of interest.” Jeff adds, “Guys need a solid hint.” Have Reasonable Expectations Joseph says a brush on the arm or a pat on the shoulder Men often wonder if women expect creative, elaborate often catches men’s attention because it signifies that the dates. To dispel that idea, women can thank men for sim- woman doesn’t feel a barrier between them. And most ple dates and follow up with an e-mail, note, or treat to say men notice a woman who maintains eye contact, asks they would enjoy another similar outing. about their lives, and makes an effort to prolong the con- Women can also express thanks without implying that versation. “It’s important for a guy to know who is inter- they expect to go out again, Will says. “Interest comes and ested in going out with him so he knows where to goes. It’s good to be flexible enough that you can give concentrate his efforts,” Joseph says. him some space.” Even if he’s interested, “it may take him Sometimes outgoing women are more comfortable some time to be decisive. Steps need to be taken, and re- showing interest and reserved women can feel overlooked, lationships need time to grow.” but each woman can prayerfully step out of her comfort Megan recognizes that a date is simply “a few hours zone and show interest in a manner consistent with her with a guy who may or may not be interested.” She be- personality. For example, Kim took action by sending Todd lieves that if a man is interested, he will express that by a friendly e-mail. “My shyness often deters guys,” she says. continuing to ask her out. Until then, she tries not to jump “I didn’t want him to have to wonder what I was thinking.” to conclusions. Similarly, Christa says, “I’ve learned to not

18 overanalyze a date or have a million expectations. My goal What is the “nice” way? is to have fun and be myself.” “I think if a woman said she was busy a few times in a Women can have more fun dating by being open to go- row, I would get the hint,” Russ says. “If a girl is interested, ing out with a variety of men. It’s OK to be selective, but at she’ll make time for you.” the same time, it may be unrealistic for women to expect Other men prefer a more direct approach. “The kindest always to be asked out by men they are most interested in, way to be rejected is directly, yet in a friendly way,” Dan says. says one single adult. Women “might be surprised how “Be honest, explain your feelings, but do it with kindness.” much fun they can have” if they are sometimes willing to Single adults can communicate with sincere kindness by accept dates from men they didn’t notice at first. remembering to respect each other’s uniqueness. The same character traits that one woman may find incompati- Accept and Offer Rejection with Kindness ble in a dating partner will attract a more compatible If a man seems unresponsive to a woman’s signs of woman later on. “Remember that the person you’re reject- interest, he may have other current interests, or maybe he ing is someone else’s future spouse,” says one single adult. just got out of a serious dating relationship, Jeff explains. “Even in dating, we are striving to possess Godlike at- “You never know.” Whatever the reasons for lack of tributes,” Will says. “That means there can be rejection response, “don’t take rejection too with kindness.” personally,” Joseph says. “We’re not supposed to be right for everyone.” Men and women should try to be open-minded, but once it’s clear that rejection is neces- sary, turning down dates is a matter of honesty. “I would rather be rejected in a nice way than led on,” says one young man. TO THE men “SheSays”

Demonstrate Courage “We know it’s scary to ask someone out,” Whitney says. “It’s putting yourself on the line, and we appreciate it.” Men can show courage by clearly “asking for a date,” Mary says. When a man explains what the outing will be, the woman doesn’t have to wonder if it’s a date or a group activity. Whitney respects men who ask women for dates without fearing that the women will jump to conclusions. “Maybe the first time you take a girl on a date she’ll think you like her, but if you ask out another girl the next weekend,” expecta- tions will change, dates will become more common, and the dating atmosphere will be more relaxed, Whitney says. Sylinda is impressed when men ask out women they’re not sure they’re interested in. “Magic doesn’t need to strike before you go on a date,” she says. “Time and effort often need to be invested before that happens.” Besides, women Honor Women don’t expect men to know if they’ll be interested after one “There is nothing more attractive than a priesthood or two dates—often women don’t know yet either. holder who is worthy and acts accordingly by honoring his priesthood and respecting women,” Sandra says. Respect Her Time Delaying appropriate physical affection until attraction has “A date doesn’t mean you have to fall in love,” Sarah grown in other important areas shows integrity, as does says. “It simply shows that you respect a woman enough to avoiding suggestive media and humor. Women deserve to be set her apart from the crowd for an evening.” valued for who they are, not simply for attractiveness. They Women are flattered when men plan purposeful time for are more likely to feel safe and accepted around men who them, Rebecca says. But if a man drops by unannounced or treat all women respectfully, not just those they are dating. extends a last-minute invitation, a woman can be caught in Women also appreciate men who strengthen them a stressful situation: she may have to say no even if she’s in- against the temptation to “conform to worldly trends,” terested or procrastinate pressing responsibilities in order Sharon says. Men can show admiration for women who to say yes. “Let the girl know she’s important enough for dress modestly and uphold Church standards. you to prepare for the date,” says one young woman. Men can honor women by exercising their capacity to Well-planned dates don’t have to be elaborate. “We’re lead, Tiffany says. “I believe I speak for most women when I not looking for flashy, unique, over-the-top kinds of out- say we want men who still open doors for us and stand ings,” Whitney says. Sandra believes single dates are valu- when a lady enters the room.” Even more important, able mainly because “people act differently in groups women notice men who are proactive, sometimes evi- than they do alone. I like to just talk to people.” That can denced by “asking women out and inviting them to dance.” happen while going for a walk, eating lunch, or playing This quality “is what we are hoping and looking for in our another round of miniature golf. husbands,” Tiffany says. “The fathers of our children need to Women appreciate being asked on dates because re- be willing to lead.” peated invitations indicate who might be interested in

20 courtship. Without dates, “you never know if the guy is friends for feedback regarding his approach and selection truly interested in you or if you are just a friend of con- of women to ask out.” venience,” says one young woman. “Hanging out limits Sandra adds, “Maybe it’s not you she’s turning down— our opportunities to meet someone who could turn out she may not even know you yet! It may be the way you to be an eternal companion.” present yourself.” Men can contemplate what types of Women don’t expect every date to turn into courtship, women they hope to attract and make sure their image but time spent together invites that possibility. Men can is consistent with their inner selves. show consideration by asking women who interest them on dates and by avoiding excessive time with friends they don’t intend to pursue. TO men & Accept Rejection Constructively women To men who experience repeated rejection, Tiffany sug- gests two things. First, “check your approach. Make sure you’re not overly eager or too slow.” Being too eager may Be a Friend cause a woman to lose interest because she feels pres- Kindness is paramount when facing the selection and sured, while being too cautious may encourage her to rejection necessarily associated with dating. “Take risks move on. Next, “check to see if you may be asking the in order to make a friend,” Jennie says. “We all need friend- wrong girls out. Think of how many of your lady friends ship.” She suggests trying to avoid competitive feelings and you may be overlooking.” adopting a willingness to serve. It’s possible to form lasting Rebecca agrees. “If a guy asks out the right type of friendships—through both dating and group activities— women, he won’t be repeatedly rejected. Men can culti- and maintain friendly feelings toward one another, vate an understanding of the type of women they’re “whether or not you marry them in the end.” compatible with.” Celestial marriage is the end goal of courtship. So as men Shane waits until he has had an interesting conversa- and women navigate the waters of dating, they can simulta- tion with a woman and discovered common interests or neously build celestial character. That begins, Jennie perspectives before asking her out. “I try to get to know says, by “placing faith in God, trusting His plan,” the girl better so she’ll trust me enough to feel com- and living lives patterned after the Savior. ■ fortable,” he says. That may happen over time or during one good conversation. Rebecca says, “A man can evaluate such things as his compatibility with a woman intellectu- ally, spiritually, and physically. He can con- sider whether his values concerning career, education, and other goals seem compatible with hers.” And he can find out if their interests seem complemen- tary. “If he’s still unsure or continues to experience rejection, he may consider asking trusted Modesty Matters

Dressing modestly is a challenge in today’s moment on, I was not only prepared for the world. Here, Church members share their changes I was about to make, but I looked responses to the following questions: How do forward to making them. you ensure that your clothing is modest? How Chelsea Anderson, Ohio have you promoted modesty in your family, ward, or stake (or branch or district)? What insights have you A Modesty Fashion Show gained about the importance of modesty? In October 2004 the Young Women and Young Men organizations in our stake had an event called “Modesty in Whom Did I Want to Be? Dress,” based on the pamphlet For the Strength of Youth. An event some years ago changed my attitude toward It consisted of a fashion show divided into three parts: modesty. As I got ready to go to a Mutual activity, I put casual wear, sportswear, and formal wear. We asked each of on some short shorts; it never occurred to me that they the young men and young women to select three changes were inappropriate. The activities planned for that of clothing, and we helped them choose which clothes Tuesday included having the missionaries give us some were suitable. We invited their leaders and parents to this practical advice about missionary work. One of the last activity. We emphasized scriptural verses about the body empty seats was next to me. For a brief moment the eld- being a (see 1 Corinthians 6:19–20) and the counsel ers began to argue, as discreetly as they could, over who of our prophet, President Gordon B. Hinckley. The activity had to sit next to me. Though they never said so specifi- had a positive effect; the young people in our stake are cally, I understood they were uneasy because of the way more concerned now about grooming and dressing in an I was dressed. appropriate way. At that moment, notwithstanding my embarrassment, Teresa de Jesús Contreras de Ramírez, Mexico I began to understand what it meant to be modest. I realized that I was making virtuous young men feel Modesty Tips uncomfortable—and that I could also be making unvirtu- Modesty is definitely a challenge in today’s world, espe- ous men feel too comfortable. I began to better under- cially for teenage girls. I know—I am one. But you can be stand what type of person I wanted to be with and, more modest all the time and still wear what’s in style. Here are

important, what type of person I wanted to be. From that some tips I have found helpful: MODELS POSED BY PHOTOGRAPHY AS NOTED; EXCEPT CHRISTINA SMITH, BY PHOTOGRAPHY

22 MODEST AND FASHIONABLE

When I was younger I wanted to dress just like my peers at school. I unwillingly obeyed my mother’s wishes for me to be modest. Today I am grateful to my mother for the clear line she drew and for her example. I now have my own testimony about the importance of modesty. It truly is possible to dress both modestly and fashionably. Roberta Eggenberger, Switzerland TESTIMONIES OF MODESTY

My understanding of why I should dress mod- estly came gradually after I joined the Church. I now look with great respect upon modestly dressed peo- ple whose eyes shine with the light of chastity. Dressing modestly is not always easy, but if we make the effort, God is bound to help us. Olga Khripko, Ukraine

I believe we show our humility and respect to our Heavenly Father when we look decent and clean and are appropriately covered. Sharlene Cherry, Philippines

• Buy several long tank tops in different • If the top part of a dress is immodest, colors that you can tuck into your pants so consider cutting off the top and altering the your tummy won’t show with a shorter shirt. dress to make a fancy skirt; then find a nice • Sew a strip of fabric onto the bottom top to match. of shorter shirts. • Start shopping early for the prom and • If a shirt is mostly cotton, buy a size other special events so you won’t be tempted larger than you normally would so when to buy something immodest at the last minute. you wash it, it won’t be too tight or too A lot of girls give up on being modest short. because they think it is just too hard. But • Buy long boy’s shorts when they are I can tell you that it can be done!

available during the summer. Jami Elsmore, CRAIG DIMOND LAKE TEMPLE BY OF SALT PHOTOGRAPH

24 A PROTECTION AGAINST TEMPTATION “Modesty in dress and manner will assist in protect- ing against temptation. It may be A Daily Reminder that Nephi’s conviction in 1 Nephi difficult to find modest clothing, I have a picture of the Savior and 3:7 applies to the mundane as well but it can be found with enough a picture of the London England as the monumental: “I know that the effort. . . . You can be attractive Temple in my wardrobe. When I Lord giveth no commandments unto without being immodest. . . . Draw open it to get my clothes, I am always the children of men, save he shall some rigid parameters, a line in reminded to keep myself clean and prepare a way for them that they the sand, as it were, beyond which modest so that I can one day go to may accomplish the thing which he you will not go.” the temple and worship there. commandeth them.” My daughters President Gordon B. Hinckley, “Stay Carolyn Bailey, England on the High Road,” Liahona and Ensign, agreed to pray about the problem, May 2004, 114. and within a week we found beauti- Tight Fit Is Also Immodest ful dresses in unexpected places Many people think immodest that we could alter to be per- dress relates only to an insufficiently fectly appropriate. covered body. But a tight fit is also We continue to make mod- immodest, even when the body is esty a matter of prayer. I have fully covered. This applies to men as well as women. learned to follow small prompt- Many do not realize that tight clothing draws attention ings from the Spirit, even if it means to the anatomy, which distracts from the purpose of driving a distance, searching through sample education, business, leadership, or worship. Adequate racks, or making substantial alterations. I want ease in the fit of our clothes allows the viewer’s attention my daughters to know that I value modesty enough to go to go to the other person’s face for more effective out of my way. communication. Jerie Jacobs, California Judith Rasband, Utah

A Panel Discussion The Body Is a Temple One possibility for promoting modesty among Bahia, Brazil, where I live, has a very hot climate, which young women is a panel discussion with the young makes it a little hard for people to dress modestly. But I men. This approach drew together the young people feel something special when I dress in a way that invites of our ward in serious consideration of this gospel the Spirit to be with me. I know that the body is a temple principle. of God and that it should be treated with respect. Some of the priests we invited to participate were less Stephan Cerqueira Levita, Brazil than enthusiastic at first because they did not want to offend the young women who would be their audience. A Matter of Prayer To help set the young men at ease, we met beforehand to After a discouraging day of prom-dress shopping with talk about what they could say about modesty and how two of my daughters, we returned home in weary tears. to present their ideas properly. We had not found one modest dress. I encouraged my We felt the Spirit during the panel discussion. The daughters to take their desires to the Lord in prayer. young women joined in the discussion and listened They looked at me quizzically, not at all certain that a closely to what the young men had to say. One of the wardrobe concern was prayer-worthy. I promised them panel members told them, “Could we start by not seeing

ENSIGN JUNE 2006 25 any immodesty at Church meetings?” May I suggest that Church members be The young women responded very taught to be modest because they love and positively to the advice from their friends. respect themselves and the Lord and they BEAUTY WITHIN John Wilkinson, Utah want to honor His gift. I never had a strong I did not understand testimony of modesty until I learned to love the concept of modesty The Body Is a Gift Heavenly Father and the Savior more deeply. before I was a member During my last year of high school, I Brenda Petty, of the Church. Within a decided I had to strengthen my testimony few months of my bap- before I left for college. I studied all I could Try Shopping Online tism, I learned that a about the Savior’s life and His atoning sacri- Coming out of the Los Angeles California piece of clothing would fice. As I did so, the reality of His love struck Temple one day, I was dismayed to notice that not make me more me so powerfully that it brought me to some bridesmaids were wearing immodest beautiful—rather, tears. I realized that I am indeed a beloved dresses. I then saw that the bridesmaids in beauty comes from daughter of God. As the magnitude of this another group were wearing dresses that within. I am striving to sank deep into my very being, I realized that were modest yet very pretty. I asked where serve the Lord in the dressing modestly is not just to prevent the they had found such lovely dresses, and they way He asks us. boys from thinking bad thoughts. It is a way enthusiastically chorused, “Online.” Roseangela Barreto, to show our appreciation for one of the The Internet can be a good Brazil most wonderful gifts God has given us: source of modest clothing. ■ a body. Anne Elwell, California

YOUR DRESS IS A REFLECTION OF WHO YOU ARE “Prophets of God have always counseled His children to dress modestly. The way you dress is a reflection of what you are on the inside. Your dress and grooming send messages about you to others and influence the way you and others act. When you are well groomed and modestly dressed, you invite the companionship of the Spirit and can exercise a good influence on those around you. . . . “Immodest clothing includes short shorts and skirts, tight clothing, shirts that do not cover the stomach, and other revealing attire. Young women should wear clothing that covers the shoulder and avoid cloth- ing that is low-cut in the front or the back or revealing in any other manner. Young men should also maintain modesty in their appear- ance. All should avoid extremes in clothing, appearance, and hairstyle. Always be neat and clean and avoid being sloppy or inappropriately casual in dress, grooming, and manners. Ask yourself, ‘Would I CARL HEINRICH BLOCH BY feel comfortable with my appearance if I were in the Lord’s presence?’ ” For the Strength of Youth (pamphlet, 2001), 14–16. CHRIST WITH BOY, DETAIL FROM DETAIL

26 resident Joseph F. Smith, introducing the concept Family Home Evening of family home evening in 1915, said that formality Pand stiffness should be avoided. With the family home evening program now well established among Latter-day Saints, families plan lessons from formal to FFOROR TTHEHE fun, as their needs suggest. This article features examples that show how having fun together can make a great family FFUNUN O OFF I ITT home evening. Planning Fun Activities Frank and Ellen Sorenson of Illinois wanted their children to know their grandparents and great- grandparents who had died. PHOTOGRAPHY BY ROBERT CASEY BY PHOTOGRAPHY

ENSIGN JUNE 2006 27 HAVE A GOOD TIME “If you have any doubt about the virtue of family home evening, try it. Gather your kitchen, where we had refresh- children about ments. Two slices of pound cake you, teach them, bear testimony to formed the ‘golden plates.’ We them, read the scriptures together used spray cans of whipped top- and have a good time together.” ping to write on our ‘plates’; then “We often President Gordon B. Hinckley, Teachings of we ‘berried’ them by covering them Gordon B. Hinckley (1997), 212. make a birthday cake in with berries. It was fun for the their honor and celebrate their lives youngest children as well as the in a family home evening,” says Ellen. “After relating mem- teenagers and parents.” ories, reading from personal histories, or looking at pic- Diane Adamson, a grandmother from Utah, describes a tures, we play the ancestor’s favorite song or eat his or her time when her extended family got together for a family favorite food. Sometimes we play a quiz game, giving hints home evening: “I had gathered supplies that could be about a relative living or dead used to create dioramas of Lehi’s dream: cardboard bases and then guessing his or her cut to size, play dough in various colors, aluminum foil, identity. We’ve celebrated straws, cotton swabs, ribbon, cotton balls, tissue paper, Grandpa Wilson’s birthday plastic foam cups, index cards, scissors, and tape. Together, with his favorite we read aloud the story of Lehi’s dream from 1 Nephi 8. dessert—straw- Each small group went to work, and an hour later we had berry shortcake. six very different imaginative depictions of the elements of We’ve retold Lehi’s dream.” Grandpa Sorenson’s silly jokes and Enjoying Time Together observed my father’s Andrew and Janeen Nuttall of Colorado decided to rec- Croatian heritage by ognize their children’s acts of kindness. Janeen says: “Our roasting lamb on a spit family can get pretty busy, and sometimes the good things over a fire. We have our children do go unnoticed. One Monday night, we increased our love for decided to have an ‘awards night.’ Throughout the week these ancestors and I listed all of the things each of our children accomplished our commitment to that were noteworthy. At the end of the lesson, I had each the gospel plan that child come up one by one, and I told them the wonderful binds us to them.” things I had seen in them. I was surprised when the rest of Vida H. Liddell of Utah the family chimed in and added their own positive com- describes playing a Book of Mormon ments about the person being spotlighted. I told them game complete with a homemade papier- how much we all loved them and that we are glad they are mâché Liahona. “We made a life-size game part of our family. The grins on the faces of our children board on the floor of our house. Taking turns, were priceless. It was such a positive experience that each player tried to answer a question about the Book of we have continued to have occasional surprise Mormon. If that player knew the answer, he or she could ‘awards nights.’ ” look upon the Liahona, spin its pointer, and move as the David and Janis Rowberry of Nevada Liahona indicated. Everyone played until they reached the enjoy singing together as a family in

28 their family home evenings. Janis says: “Singing good music opens our hearts to accept love. It’s a way to make our home a heaven on earth and bring us closer to the Savior.” Chris and Jenny Robinson of Virginia have used role- playing games with their young children. Jenny says: “We role-play sitting quietly in Church meetings and giving talks in Primary. We

also role-play other situations, such as eating in a restau- rant and using our best table manners. We pretend to to ‘skedaddle’ and see who could get stand in line, wait our turn, and raise our hands to answer a ready for bed the fastest. They returned giggling and teacher. We role-play clapping our hands at the end of a per- snuggled around the twins and me on the couch. formance to show our appreciation. We all enjoy this activity, “Stan asked seven-year-old Sara to lead the opening and it has helped our children become more confident.” song. Lisa, who was five, said the prayer. For our lesson, Stan picked out a common object in our home and made Just Having Fun a humorous but insightful comparison between it and our Marian Pond of Colorado remembers a time when her family, which left everyone laughing. Four-year-old Anna husband decided to be spontaneous rather than skip a led the closing song, and little Molly said the closing family home evening: “My husband, Stan, came home prayer and asked a blessing on the refreshments. ‘But later than usual one Monday evening, and our children I didn’t make any,’ I said. Again Stan had the situation greeted him with squeals of ‘Daddy’s home!’ and ‘Now under control. He led our little band to the kitchen can we have family home evening?’ He found me on the and retrieved a bag of bing cherries from the freezer. couch with our three-month-old twins. Evidence of an Ceremoniously, he placed five frozen cherries on each overwhelming day welled in my eyes. We both knew we of our saucers, and we proceeded to enjoy pretending weren’t ready with a lesson for family home evening. we were true gourmets. “ ‘Not a problem,’ Stan reassured me. I could “The recollection of this family home evening always tell that my husband had decided we would brings a smile and helps me remember that sometimes simply play together and have fun. With just having fun together can make a great family home energy and laughter, he asked the children evening.” ■

ENSIGN JUNE 2006 29 LESSONS FROM THE

OLD TESTAMENT True Friendship and Self-Respect

BY ELDER LYNN A. MICKELSEN his enemy. Yet when David returned from the Of the Seventy battlefield and appeared in King Saul’s court rue friendship helps give meaning to “with the head of [Goliath] in his hand[,] . . . life. It is an anchor for the soul. Based the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul T on the pure love of Christ, it is secu- of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own rity and trust between two individuals and is soul” (1 Samuel 17:57; 18:1). “stronger than the cords of death” (see D&C Jonathan’s love for David is even more 121:43–44) because it transcends this mortal remarkable when contrasted with Saul’s bitter existence. Unfortunate is the person who has contempt. Although at first Saul rewarded no true friend. David for killing Goliath, his jealousies and David and The Old Testament contains the inspiring insecurities became apparent as word of Jonathan’s story of David and Jonathan, who achieved Israel’s newest hero spread. Saul heard the friendship true friendship despite difficult circumstances. Israelite women singing, “Saul hath slain exemplifies Although David may not have seemed the his thousands, and David his ten thousands” Alma’s charge logical choice to be king of Israel, the Lord (1 Samuel 18:7). Out of jealousy, Saul tried to the Saints chose him to succeed King Saul. Young David to kill David with a javelin—the first of his to have “their developed the attributes that qualified him many attempts to take David’s life. hearts knit for this honor as he responsibly tended his Jonathan helped David escape while he together in unity father’s flocks, learning to obey faithfully tried to soften Saul’s heart (see 1 Samuel and in love.” both the mortal direction and the spiritual 19:4–5). Jonathan’s loyal defense of his friend promptings he received. He was trustworthy, angered Saul, who tried to kill Jonathan, unselfish, fearless, and confident, and he his own son, in a fit of rage (see 1 Samuel had unwavering faith in the God of Israel. 20:32–33). In spite of this, Jonathan contin- These attributes were clearly evident in his ued to secretly assist David at the peril of astonishing victory over Goliath. his own life. Jonathan, the son of King Saul, had also Why did the friendship of David and proven himself courageous and faithful. Jonathan grow while Saul became David’s Traditionally he would have been heir to enemy? The answer to this question is a les- the throne instead of David, so it would son for all who seek to develop the kind of

have been natural for him to see David as true friendship and Christlike love that is ONG WILSON J. BY ILLUSTRATED

30 Jonathan loyally defended his friend David, even when his own life was threatened.

ENSIGNENSIGNJUNEJUNE 20062006 31 HELPS FOR HOME EVENING

Most Ensign articles can be used for family illustrated in this dramatic Old home evening discussions, personal reflection, insecure about their self-worth Testament story. or teaching the gospel in a variety of settings. often become more self-centered 1. Ask family members to choose someone and less capable of building Charity “Seeketh Not Her Own” from the scriptures they would want as a best strong, loving friendships. The Savior said the first and friend and explain why. Tell the story of David and Self-respect develops as we come great commandment is to “love Jonathan. Have family members each pick a sec- to understand our divine heritage. the Lord thy God.” The second, tion of the article and find words that amplify the When we have the assurance that He explained, is also a command- meaning of true friendship. Challenge them to we are all children of a loving ment to love: “Thou shalt love thy develop these attributes in their own friendships. Heavenly Father, we not only under- neighbour as thyself” (Matthew 2. Quote the two great commandments stand our own worth but we also 22:37, 39; see also vv. 36, 38). (see Matthew 22:37, 39) and ask family mem- see the great worth of others. We David and Jonathan’s friendship bers to list the three people we should love. How need not feel threatened when oth- exemplifies Alma’s charge to the does love of self affect love of God and love of ers are praised and we are not, nor Saints to have “their hearts knit neighbor? Read the story of Saul and discuss should we feel prideful when we are together in unity and in love one how insecurities and self-centeredness limit our praised and others are not, because towards another” (Mosiah 18:21). ability to love others. Testify of how understand- we feel our kinship as brothers and Unfortunately, many people ing the Atonement and appreciating our divine sisters, children of Heavenly Father. concentrate so intensely on their worth help us deepen our friendships. Consider the tender testimony personal lives that they have nei- of a sister missionary: “When I ther the time nor the energy to reach out to others. They came to know that we are truly children of our Father in develop self-centeredness, a trait that led Saul to focus on Heaven, my soul filled with love for all of God’s family. I felt his own insecurities instead of rejoicing with the rest of indescribable joy each time I would tell our investigators Israel in David’s accomplishments. of our divine origin, and my bosom would burn within me, The Israelite women who sang about David’s and confirming the truth of that doctrine each time we would Saul’s military successes apparently made no mention of explain why we call each other ‘brother’ and ‘sister.’ ” Jonathan, even though he was an accomplished warrior Our self-respect and our love for others deepen as we in his own right (see, for example, 1 Samuel 14:1–15). gain understanding of the Atonement. The infinite love The lack of praise for Jonathan did not harm his friend- of the Father for us as His children is expressed in the ship with David, because in a true friendship there is no sacrifice of His Son, through which each individual is egotism or self-centeredness, only charity. Charity, as the blessed. “The worth of souls is great in the sight of God; Apostle Paul and Mormon both declare, “seeketh not her For, behold, the Lord your Redeemer suffered death in own” (1 Corinthians 13:5; Moroni 7:45). This is the kind the flesh; wherefore he suffered the pain of all men, of love the Savior expects of His followers. that all men might repent and come unto him” (D&C 18:10–11; emphasis added). Our knowledge that “God The Importance of Self-Respect is no respecter of persons” (Acts 10:34) should help us Charity and love for one’s neighbor are best developed to assume the same attitude toward all of His children. when one has a healthy sense of self-respect. Self-respect comes from obedience to the laws of God. Those with a Becoming “Full of Love” strong sense of self-respect have a greater capacity to for- Knowingly disobeying God’s commandments destroys get themselves and love others. Conversely, those who are our self-respect and limits our capacity to love. Saul was

32 King Saul “was afraid of David, because the Lord was with him” (1 Samuel 18:12).

unwilling to befriend David as Jonathan did because his Centuries later, the Lord looked into the heart of own disobedience had caused him to fall out of favor Thomas B. Marsh (1799–1866), then President of the with God, and he knew it. “Saul was afraid of David, Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, and gave similar coun- because the Lord was with him, and was departed from sel: “I know thy heart, and have heard thy prayers con- Saul” (1 Samuel 18:12). In contrast, Jonathan did not feel cerning thy brethren. Be not partial towards them in threatened by David, for he did not worry about his own love above many others, but let thy love be for them place in the kingdom. as for thyself; and let thy love abound unto all men, Achieving this selfless love is not easy. The natural man and unto all who love my name” (D&C 112:11). Imagine tends to be more like Saul than Jonathan. Nevertheless, what would happen in our families, in the Church, and “through the atonement of Christ the Lord,” we can over- in our communities if our love “abounded unto all.” come any selfish tendencies and become “full of love” True friendship strives for unity of purpose, will, (Mosiah 3:19). We can “cleave unto charity” (Moroni 7:46), desire, heart, and mind. There must be complete which is the kind of love the Savior acted with when He trust and transparency, with no hidden agendas. True accomplished the Atonement and “[laid] down his life friendship transcends love as the world understands it. for his friends” (John 15:13; see also Ether 12:33–34). Based on charity, it is patient and kind. As David and Charity is a gift from Heavenly Father “which he hath Jonathan demonstrated so memorably, it does not bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, envy; it does not boast; it is not proud. It is not rude, Jesus Christ” (Moroni 7:48). It comes directly and exclu- selfish, or easily angered. It keeps no record of wrongs; sively from Him, and we are required to pray “with all it does not delight in evil but rejoices in truth. It can the energy of [our] heart” to receive it (Moroni 7:48). bear anything; it always trusts, always hopes, and always When the resurrected Savior questioned Peter about perseveres. It never fails (see 1 Corinthians 13:4–8; the extent of his love, He taught Peter—and the rest Moroni 7:45–47). of us—that love in its purest form overflows to the Our goal in mortality should be to establish this kind benefit of others: “Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou of friendship with each other and with the Savior, thus me? . . . Feed my sheep” (John 21:17). helping to secure our place with the Eternal Father. ■

ENSIGN JUNE 2006 33 THE Profile OF A PROPHET BY PRESIDENT HUGH B. BROWN (1883–1975)

Hugh B. Brown was born in Salt Lake City, Utah, on October 24, 1883, to Lydia Jane and Homer Manly Brown. When he was 15, his family moved to Canada. On June 17, 1908, he married Zina Young Card, daughter of Charles O. Card (founder of Cardston, Alberta, Canada) and granddaughter of Brigham Young, in the . They were the parents of six daughters and two sons. President Brown practiced law, first in Canada and later in the United States. He served overseas as a major in the Canadian army during World War I. From 1946 to 1950 he was a professor of religion and coordinator of veterans’ affairs at Brigham Young University. In 1953, while working as president of Richland Oil Development Company of Canada, Ltd., he was called to serve as an Assistant to the Twelve Apostles. On April 10, 1958, he was ordained an Apostle, and on June 22, 1961, he was sustained as a counselor to President David O. McKay. He served in the First Presidency until President McKay’s death on January 18, 1970, when he resumed his position in the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. He died on December 2, 1975.

should like to be for a few minutes a war, and we frequently discussed religion. witness in support of the proposition He called me on the phone one day and I that the gospel of Jesus Christ has asked if I would meet him at his office and been restored in our day and that this is explain some phases of the gospel. He said: His Church, which was organized under “I think there is going to be a war. If there His direction through the Prophet Joseph is, you will have to return to America, and Smith. I should like to give some reasons for we may not meet again.” His statement the faith I have and for my allegiance to the regarding the imminence of war and the Church. Perhaps I can do this more quickly possibility that we would not meet again by referring to an interview I had in London, Only by the proved to be prophetic. When I went to England, in 1939, just before the outbreak of whisperings of the his office, he said he was intrigued by [World War II]. I had met a very prominent Holy Spirit can one some things I had told him. He asked me English gentleman, a member of the House come to know the to prepare a brief on Mormonism . . . and of Commons, formerly one of the justices of things of God. By discuss it with him as I would discuss a the Supreme Court of England. In my con- those whisperings I legal problem. BE COPIED NOT MAY GREG K. BY OLSEN, versations with this gentleman on various say I know that He said: “You have told me that you subjects, “vexations of the soul” he called Joseph Smith is a believe that Joseph Smith was a prophet. them, we talked about business and law, prophet of God. You have said to me that you believe that God

about politics, international relations and the Father and Jesus of Nazareth appeared JOSEPH SMITH’S FIRST VISION,

34

a condensed and abbreviated synopsis of the three-hour conversation which followed. In the interest of time I shall resort to the question- and-answer method rather than narration. I began by asking, “May I proceed, sir, on the assumption that you are a Christian?” “I am.” “I assume you believe in the Bible—the Old and New Testament?” “I do!” “Do you believe in prayer?” “I do!” “You say that my belief that God spoke to a man in this age is fantastic and absurd?” “To me, it is.” “Do you believe that God ever did speak to anyone?” “Certainly. All through the Bible we have evidence of that.” “Did He speak to Adam?” “Yes.” “To Enoch, Noah, Abraham, Moses, Jacob, Joseph, and on through the prophets?” “I believe He spoke to each of them.” to Joseph Smith. I cannot understand how a barrister and “Do you believe that contact between God and man solicitor from Canada, a man trained in logic and evidence, ceased when Jesus appeared on the earth?” could accept such absurd statements. What you tell me “No, such communication reached its climax, its apex about Joseph Smith seems fantastic, but I think you should at that time.” take three days at least to prepare a brief and permit me to “Do you believe that Jesus was the Son of God?” examine it and question you on it.” “He was.” I suggested that we proceed at once and have an exami- “Do you believe, sir, that after Jesus was resurrected a nation for discovery, which is briefly a meeting of opposing certain lawyer, who was also a tent maker by the name of sides in a lawsuit where the plaintiff and defendant, with Saul of Tarsus, when on his way to Damascus, talked with their attorneys, meet to examine each other’s claims and Jesus of Nazareth, who had been crucified, resurrected, see if they can find some of agreement, thus saving and had ascended into heaven?” the time of the court later on. I said perhaps we could see “I do.” whether we had some common ground from which we “Whose voice did Saul hear?” could discuss my “fantastic” ideas. He agreed to that quite “It was the voice of Jesus Christ, for He so introduced readily. Himself.”

I can only give you, in the few minutes at my disposal, “Then, . . . I am submitting to you in all seriousness MANN PAUL BY ILLUSTRATED RIGHT: SAM LAWLOR; BY ILLUSTRATED LEFT:

36 that it was standard procedure in Bible times call a “profile of a prophet.” . . . We agreed, r. Brown,” for God to talk to man.” between us, that the following characteristics he said, “I think I will admit that, but it stopped should distinguish a man who claims to be M“there shortly after the first century of the Christian a prophet. never was a time in era.” A. He will boldly claim that God [has] the history of the “Why do you think it stopped?” spoken to him. world when the voice “I can’t say.” B. Any man so claiming would be a digni- of God was needed “You think that God hasn’t spoken since fied man with a dignified message; no table- as it is needed now. then?” jumping, no whisperings from the dead, no Perhaps you can tell “I am sure He hasn’t.” clairvoyance, but an intelligent statement me why He doesn’t “There must be a reason; can you give me of truth. speak.” a reason?” C. Any man claiming to be a prophet of My answer was: “I do not know.” God would declare his message without any “He does speak. “May I suggest some possible reasons: fear and without making any weak conces- He has spoken, but perhaps God does not speak to man any- sions to public opinion. men need faith to more because He cannot. He has lost the D. If he were speaking for God, he could hear Him.” power.” not make concessions although what he He said, “Of course that would be taught would be new and contrary to the blasphemous.” accepted teachings of the day. A prophet “Well, then, if you don’t accept that, per- bears witness to what he has seen and haps He doesn’t speak to men because He heard and seldom tries to make a case doesn’t love us anymore. He is no longer by argument. His message and not interested in the affairs of men.” himself is important. “No,” he said, “God loves all men, and He E. Such a man would speak in is no respecter of persons.” the name of the Lord, saying, “Well, then, if He could speak and if “Thus saith the Lord,” as did He loves us, then the only other possible Moses, Joshua, and others. answer, as I see it, is that we don’t need Him. F. Such a man would predict We have made such rapid strides in science, future events in the name of the we are so well educated, that we don’t need Lord, and they would come to pass, God anymore.” as did Isaiah and Ezekiel. And then he said, and his voice trembled G. He would have not only an as he thought of impending war: “Mr. Brown, important message for his time but there never was a time in the history of the often a message for all future world when the voice of God was needed as time, such as Daniel, Jeremiah, it is needed now. Perhaps you can tell me why and others had. He doesn’t speak.” H. He would have My answer was: “He does speak. He has courage and faith enough spoken, but men need faith to hear Him.” to endure persecution Then we proceeded to prepare what I may and to give his life, if e sat and need be, for the cause he espoused, such as believe he was a prophet of God because he listened Peter, Paul, and others did. gave to this world some of the greatest of all Hintently. Then I. Such a man would denounce wickedness revelations. I believe that he was a prophet he said: “Mr. Brown, fearlessly. He would generally be rejected of God because he predicted many things I wonder if your or persecuted by the people of his time, which have come to pass, things which only people appreciate but later generations, the descendants of God could bring to pass. the import of your his persecutors, would build monuments John, the beloved disciple of Jesus, message.” in his honor. declared, “The testimony of Jesus is the spirit J. He would be able to do superhuman of prophecy” [Revelation 19:10]. If Joseph things, things that no man could do without Smith had the testimony of Jesus, he had the God’s help. The consequence or result of his spirit of prophecy, and if he had the spirit of message and work would be convincing evi- prophecy, he was a prophet. I submit to you, dence of his prophetic calling. “By their fruits and I submitted to my friend, that as much as ye shall know them” [Matthew 7:20]. any man who ever lived he had a testimony K. His teachings would be in strict con- of Jesus, for, like the Apostles of old, he saw formity with scripture, and his words and Him and heard Him speak. He gave his life his writings would become scripture. “For for that testimony. I challenge any man to the prophecy came not in old time by the name one who has given more evidence of will of man: but holy men of God spake the divine calling of Jesus Christ than did the as they were moved by the Holy Ghost” Prophet Joseph Smith. (2 Peter 1:21). I believe the Prophet Joseph Smith was a Now, I have given but an outline prophet because he did many superhuman which you can fill in and amplify things. One was translating the Book of and then measure and judge Mormon. Some people will not agree, but the Prophet Joseph Smith by I submit to you that the Prophet Joseph the work and stature of other Smith in translating the Book of Mormon prophets. did a superhuman work. I ask you . . . to As a student of the life of the undertake to write a story on the ancient Prophet Joseph Smith for more than inhabitants of America. Write as he did with- 50 years, I say to you . . . , by these out any source of material. Include in your standards Joseph Smith qualifies story 54 chapters dealing with wars, 21 BY ALVIN GITTINS ALVIN BY as a prophet of God. historical chapters, 55 chapters on visions I believe that Joseph Smith was and prophecies, and, remember, when you a prophet of God because he talked begin to write on visions and prophecies JOSEPH SMITH, like a prophet. He was the first man you must have your record agree meticu- since the Apostles of Jesus Christ lously with the Bible. You write 71 chapters were slain to make the claim which on doctrine and exhortation, and, here too, prophets have always made, [namely,] you must check every statement with the that God had spoken to him. He scriptures or you will be proven to be a

lived and died like a prophet. I fraud. You must write 21 chapters on the RIGHT: MANN; PAUL BY ILLUSTRATED LEFT: ministry of Christ, and everything you I could understand them for perse- claim He said and did and every testi- cuting Joseph if he had said, “I am mony you write in your book about Christ,” or if he had said, “There is Him must agree absolutely with the no Christ,” or if he had said some- New Testament. one else is Christ. Then Christians I ask you, would you like to under- believing in Christ would be justified take such a task? I would suggest to in opposing him. But what he said you too that you must employ figures was, “He whom ye claim to serve, of speech, similes, metaphors, narra- declare I unto you. . . . I testify that tions, exposition, description, oratory, I saw Him and talked with Him. He epic, lyric, logic, and parables. Undertake that, will you? is the Son of God. Why persecute me for that?” . . . I ask you to remember that the man that translated the Perhaps some of you are wondering how the judge Book of Mormon was a young man who hadn’t had the reacted to our discussion. He sat and listened intently; opportunity of schooling that you have had, and yet he he then asked some very pointed and searching ques- dictated that book in just over two months and made very tions, and at the end of the period he said: “Mr. Brown, few, if any, corrections. For over 100 years, some of the I wonder if your people appreciate the import of your best students and scholars of the world have been trying message. Do you?” He said, “If what you have told me to prove from the Bible that the Book of Mormon is false, is true, it is the greatest message that has come to this but not one of them has been able to prove that anything earth since the angels announced the birth of Christ.” he wrote was not in strict harmony with the scriptures. . . . This was a judge speaking, a great statesman, an intelli- Joseph Smith undertook and accomplished other gent man. He threw out the challenge: “Do you appreci- superhuman tasks; among them I list the following: He ate the import of what you say?” He added: “I wish it were organized the Church. (I call attention to the fact that true. I hope it may be true. God knows it ought to be no constitution effected by human agency has survived true. I would to God,” he said, and he wept as he said it, 100 years without modification or amendment, even the “that some man could appear on earth and authoritatively Constitution of the United States. The basic law or consti- say, ‘Thus saith the Lord.’” tution of the Church has never been altered.) He under- As I intimated, we did not meet again. I have brought took to carry the gospel message to all nations, which is to you very briefly some of the reasons why I believe that a superhuman task still in progress. He undertook, by Joseph Smith was a prophet of God. But undergirding and divine command, to gather thousands of people to Zion. overarching all that, I say to you from the very center of He instituted vicarious work for the dead and built tem- my heart that by the revelations of the Holy Ghost I know ples for that purpose. He promised that certain signs that Joseph Smith was a prophet of God. While these should follow the believers, and there are thousands of evidences and many others that could be cited may have witnesses who certify that this promise has been fulfilled. the effect of giving one an intellectual conviction, only I said to my friend, “. . . I cannot understand your by the whisperings of the Holy Spirit can one come to saying to me that my claims are fantastic. Nor can I know the things of God. By those whisperings I say I understand why Christians who claim to believe in Christ know that Joseph Smith is a prophet of God. I thank God would persecute and put to death a man whose whole for that knowledge. ■ purpose was to prove the truth of the things they them- An excerpt from the edited and published version of a speech deliv- ered at Brigham Young University on October 4, 1955; punctuation, selves were declaring, namely, that Jesus was the Christ. capitalization, and spelling modernized.

ENSIGN JUNE 2006 39 Joseph Smith Prophet of the Restoration

he world in general would not have noted the birth of a baby boy to a struggling farm Tfamily in rural Vermont on December 23, 1805. The event was little noticed on earth, but not so in the heavens. This birth had been long ago prophesied, even down to the name of the baby—Joseph (see 2 Nephi 3:15). This obscure boy was only 14 when the heav- ens opened to him in a vision of God the Father and His Son, and young Joseph later learned that his name “should be had for good and evil among all nations” (Joseph Smith—History 1:33). Today his name lives for good in the hearts of millions. His story is told in a new movie, Joseph Smith The Prophet of the Restoration. These scenes are taken from that film, which is now being shown in many Church visitors’ centers around the world.

Young Joseph being comforted by his father before painful surgery (above); carried on the back of his older brother Alvin (right); receiving direction during the appearance of Moroni in his room (opposite page); studying the Bible (inset, opposite page). PHOTOGRAPHY BY MATTHEW REIER, EXCEPT AS NOTED; BACKGROUND © COMSTOCK BACKGROUND AS NOTED; REIER, EXCEPT MATTHEW BY PHOTOGRAPHY

40 ENSIGN JUNE 2006 41 42 The film shows the Prophet Joseph’s contemplative, spiritual side (left) as well as key events in his life.

Courting his wife Emma (inset, above left); rejoicing with Emma after the birth of their child (above); rebuking prison guards for their foul talk (left); retrieving the golden plates from the Hill Cumorah (lower left); suffering in Liberty Jail (below). LEFT: PHOTOGRAPH BY CHRISTINA SMITH; RIGHT BOTTOM: PHOTOGRAPH BY JOHN LUKE BY PHOTOGRAPH CHRISTINA SMITH; RIGHT BOTTOM: BY PHOTOGRAPH LEFT:

ENSIGN JUNE 2006 43 JOSEPH SMITHProducing THE PROPHET OF THE RESTORATION

How do you tell in 68 minutes the story of someone near Ottawa; Lincoln’s New Salem Village near whose accomplishments were larger than life? In this Springfield, Illinois; the Mississippi River; Manchester, case, with long-range planning, intense preparation, England; and the Church’s Motion Picture Studio near prayer—and the kind of help that film production com- Brigham Young University in Provo, Utah. panies ordinarily do not get. Those involved in filming • The film has a principal cast of about 40 individuals. Joseph Smith The Prophet of the Restoration can A crew of more than 100 took part in the production, attest that there was help with the project beyond and some scenes included up to 300 local actors as what they could have accomplished on their own— extras. In addition, many locals were hired to help help, for example, with casting lead actors and with with makeup, hairdressing, and so on, for on-location two perfect days for scheduled filming in the middle shooting. of a run of bad weather. • Wardrobes were extensively researched to create The result is a film that depicts the Prophet Joseph costumes authentic to the early 1800s. Smith as a man with human qualities but with extra- • The film was produced under the direction of the ordinary ability to respond to divine direction and to lead First Presidency and through the Church’s Audiovisual others according to that direction. Department. It premiered on December 17, 2005, Production of the film required careful coordination one week before the 200th anniversary of Joseph and planning. For example: Smith’s birth, in the Legacy Theater of the Joseph • Filming took place over several months in Nauvoo; Smith Memorial Building on Temple Square. ■ Upstate New York; the historic Upper Canada Village

Behind-the-scenes work for the production included extensive support from the film crew, makeup artists, and hairdressers (left and below right); spreading snow for a winter scene in Nauvoo (right); and creation of a cramped jail cell on a studio stage (below). PHOTOGRAPH OF FILMSTRIP © ULTIMATE SYMBOL OF FILMSTRIP © ULTIMATE PHOTOGRAPH

44 Left to right: Elijah, Hope, Joshua, and Faithe Christensen.

, The Christensens see the medical Faithe blessings in the lives of their children as , a testimony of Heavenly Father’s love. ope atching the children of Todd and Pamela H & Christensen running through a water sprinkler Wand splashing in a pool, you would never guess that three of the four children have rare heart defects— Elijah unless, of course, you notice the scars on the chests of the twins, Faithe and Hope, and their youngest brother, Elijah. Faithe and Hope are aptly named. Because of them, BY JOYCE their parents have learned many lessons on the principles FINK of faith and hope. The lessons started when Todd was a recent graduate from Boise State University and Pamela was expecting the twins. PHOTOGRAPHS COURTESY OF THE CHRISTENSEN FAMILY PHOTOGRAPHS ENSIGN JUNE 2006 45 Right: Nine-month-old Faithe and Hope as babies in Australia. Below: Faithe and Hope today.

Todd thought he had a job lined “We never had any worries or “As a father of about 12 hours, up with the Idaho Department of concerns in our minds that we I just lost it and cried,” Todd recalls. Commerce, but it didn’t work out. His would lose our children,” “It was a testimony to me of our Father only job offer came from a prospective says Pamela. “You can’t in Heaven’s love for His children.” employer in Australia who wanted to hire deny the comforting him for nine months. Every time the of the Spirit.” The Best Medical Care Christensens prayed about finding a job, the The family soon moved to Australia and re- employer from Australia called with a better offer. ceived medical treatment for Hope. While Hope Finally Todd accepted the position when he was was in surgery, a nurse looked at Faithe and asked if promised a year of employment. she had been tested for the same heart condition. The That was November 1, 1996. The twins were born in pediatrician had previously told Todd and Pamela that Idaho on December 29 that same year. While performing the babies were fraternal twins with no risk of sharing the a routine checkup the day after their births, the doctor problem, but when Faithe was tested, it was discovered detected a heart murmur in Hope. She was diagnosed with that she had the same condition as her sister, only on the truncus arteriosus, a rare form of the “blue baby” syndrome opposite side of the heart. Faithe underwent surgery 21 that requires open-heart surgery within four or five months. days later. Their doctor knew that the Christensens were moving Todd gave each baby a blessing before the surgeries. to Melbourne, Australia, in less than a month. He told “I remember blessing Faithe that she would be strong and Todd that if he had to choose one hospital in the entire be able to help her sister. I remember blessing Hope and world that had the best medical care for truncus surgery having the strong impression that she would be able to and the doctors with the best record for performing it, run and have strength throughout her entire life and that he would name Australia’s Royal Children’s Hospital there would be medical techniques that would provide for in Melbourne. her needs.”

46 Left: Joshua hides behind Faithe as Elijah, lying down, and Hope play with their dog, Basil.

Below: Joshua feeds baby Elijah.

“The whole time we were there, we never had any evident,” Pamela says. “Not in miraculous healings, but worries or concerns in our minds that we would lose our in the fact that Faithe and Hope run and aren’t weary. children,” Pamela adds. “You can’t deny the comforting They’re vibrant and alive. Kids with this condition can of the Spirit.” be so tired and exhausted that walking up and down stairs can leave them breathless and their hearts beating Blessed by the Priesthood irregularly.” After 12 months in Australia, the family moved to She adds, “Their quality of life is just astounding consid- Tacoma, Washington. Because the work of the Melbourne ering the ticking time bomb that’s inside their chests.” surgeon had been so skillful, Faithe went three years be- yond the initial prognosis of when she would require more Hope in the Future surgery. She had corrective surgery at the end of June 2004. In spite of ongoing surgeries for their children, the Hope had undergone similar surgery the year before. Christensens remain upbeat and positive and hope that After a healthy son, Joshua, was added to the family, the medical advances will help their children someday. Many Christensens again heard the diagnosis of truncus arteriosus changes have already occurred in the years between the when their second son, Elijah, was born in January 2003. twins’ surgeries and Elijah’s surgery. He had surgery at the end of May that same year only days In the meantime, the tender little spirits of Faithe, before Hope’s second surgery. Hope, and Elijah act as missionaries to nurses and doc- The Christensens were able to share their feelings of tors, who often comment about how happy and active peace, prayer, and faith with hospital personnel. One doc- they are. tor acknowledged their belief in a higher power. “I can “They’ve been blessed with physical trials,” Pamela says, understand that,” he said. “My hands are guided at times.” “but they’ve also been given a larger portion of the spirit of “The many, many priesthood blessings that these chil- love and happiness in their lives to help overcome the trial dren have received because of this [condition] are very they have been given.” ■

ENSIGN JUNE 2006 47 THE FULNESS OF THE GOSPEL

Theof Adam andFall Eve

A series examining doctrines unique “And they would have had no children; wherefore they to The Church of Jesus Christ of would have remained in a state of innocence, having no Latter-day Saints. joy, for they knew no misery; doing no good, for they knew no sin. ost Christian churches teach that the Fall was a “But behold, all things have been done in the wisdom tragedy, that if Adam and Eve had not partaken of him who knoweth all things. Mof the forbidden fruit, they and all their posterity “Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they could now be living in immortal bliss in the Garden of might have joy” (2 Nephi 2:22–25). Eden. But truth revealed to latter-day prophets teaches After Adam and Eve partook of the fruit of the tree of that the Fall was not a tragedy—without it Adam and Eve knowledge of good and evil, their eyes were opened, and would have had no posterity. Thus, the Fall was a neces- Eve expressed gladness at the opportunity their transgres- sary step in Heavenly Father’s plan to bring about the sion made possible: “Were it not for our transgression eternal happiness of His children. we never should have had seed, and never should have known good and evil, and the joy of our redemption, and No Death, No Posterity, No Progress the eternal life which God giveth unto all the obedient” “If Adam had not transgressed,” Lehi taught his son (Moses 5:11). Jacob, “he would not have fallen, but he would have Partaking of the fruit brought mortality, with its many remained in the garden of Eden. . . . opportunities to choose between good and evil, and

48 enabled Adam and Eve to have children. Original Sin Thus the Fall opened the door for Heavenly The result of our first parents’ transgres- Father’s children to come into the world, sion, explained President Smith, “was ban- obtain physical bodies, and participate in ishment from the presence of God and “the great plan of happiness” (Alma 42:8). bringing . . . physical death into the world. “Therefore this life became a probationary The majority . . . [of Christians] maintain state,” a time to learn and grow, to repent that every child born into this world is and overcome weakness, “a time to prepare ll descendants of tainted with ‘original sin,’ or partakes of to meet God” (Alma 12:24). Adam and Eve Adam’s transgression in his birth. The sec- inherit certain ond Article of Faith contradicts this foolish A 3 Transgression, Not Sin effects from the Fall, but and erroneous doctrine.” All descendants President Joseph Fielding Smith (1876– because of the Atonement of Adam and Eve inherit certain effects from 1972) said: “I never speak of the part Eve of Jesus Christ we are the Fall, but because of the Atonement of took in this fall as a sin, nor do I accuse Adam accountable only for our Jesus Christ we are held accountable only of a sin. . . . This was a transgression of the own sins. for our own sins. Children who die before Y CO. law, but not a sin . . . for it was something that the age of accountability are “alive in Christ” Adam and Eve had to do!”1 (Moroni 8:12) and have no need of repentance or baptism Regarding this distinction, Elder Dallin H. Oaks of (see Moroni 8:8–11). the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles observed: “This suggested contrast between a sin and a transgression Commandments in the Garden reminds us of the careful wording in the second article The Lord gave Adam and Eve commandments in the of faith: ‘We believe that men will be punished for their Garden of Eden, two of which were to multiply and replen- own sins, and not for Adam’s transgression’ (emphasis ish the earth (see Genesis 1:28) and to not partake of added). It also echoes a familiar distinction in the law. the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil (see

BY HEINRICH HOFMANN, COURTESY OF C. HARRISON CONRO HEINRICH HOFMANN, BY Some acts, like murder, are crimes because they are Genesis 2:17). These two commandments were designed inherently wrong. Other acts, like operating without to place Adam and Eve in a position where they had to a license, are crimes only because they are legally make a choice. President Smith taught: “The Lord said to prohibited. Under these distinctions, the act that Adam that if he wished to remain as he was in the garden, CHRIST IN GETHSEMANE, produced the Fall was not a sin—inherently wrong— then he was not to eat the fruit, but if he desired to eat it but a transgression—wrong because it was formally and partake of death he was at liberty to do so.”4 Faced prohibited. These words are not always used to denote with this dilemma, Adam and Eve chose death—both something different, but this distinction seems meaning- physical and spiritual—which opened the door for them- ful in the circumstances of the Fall.”2 selves and their posterity to gain knowledge and experi-

Y STANLEY GALLI; RIGHT: DETAIL FROM DETAIL GALLI; RIGHT: Y STANLEY Even though Adam and Eve had not sinned, because of ence and to participate in the Father’s plan of happiness their transgression they had to face certain consequences, leading to eternal life. ■ two of which were spiritual death and physical death. NOTES Physical death came to Adam and Eve at the end of their 1. Doctrines of Salvation, comp. Bruce R. McConkie, 3 vols. (1954–56), 1:114–15. earthly lives, but spiritual death occurred as they were cast 2. “The Great Plan of Happiness,” Ensign, Nov. 1993, 72. out of the Garden of Eden, being cut off from the presence 3. Answers to Gospel Questions, comp. Joseph Fielding Smith Jr., 5 vols. ADAM AND EVE IN THE GARDEN, B AND EVE IN THE GARDEN, ADAM (1957–66), 1:82.

LEFT: LEFT: of God (see Alma 42:9). 4. Answers to Gospel Questions, 4:81.

ENSIGN JUNE 2006 49 BY AMIE JANE LEAVITT

found a brown envelope in a box of old family papers. In it we discovered a deed to a ceme- tery plot purchased in 1867 by my great-great- grandfather John Edward Reiss. This cemetery was located in Queens, New York.

A Dead-End Line? n September 2000, I was on my My mother, a convert to the Church, had first trip to New York City. My plans diligently gathered information about her Iincluded all of the typical tourist ancestors for 30 years. Since many of the family activities a young person would want to do— members who would have had valuable knowl- see a Broadway play, shop in Chinatown, stroll edge had already passed away, our information through Central Park, and eat cheesecake and on several of the pedigree lines had stopped. pizza. I was fortunate to have a place to stay with This was one of those lines. All we really knew friends in Queens, across the East River from about the Reiss family was that my great-great- Manhattan. From the moment I arrived, the grandfather John Edward Reiss and his grand- name Queens sounded oddly familiar to me. father emigrated from Germany and had What was it about the name that seemed so eventually settled and died in Ashley, important for me to remember? Pennsylvania. The cemetery plot deed told The week went along as anticipated. My us they had been in Queens, New York. friend and I made our way through the crowded After calling my mother and retrieving as city streets at twilight. As we rode the rust-red much information as possible from the deed, 7 train in Jackson Heights through the aromas I tried to figure out what to do next. Since I of fried arepas and grilled meats, Queens and had never done any actual family history

its familiarity kept popping into my mind. Then research, I was worried that I would not BROCHURE COURTESY OF THE AUTHOR JOSEPH ALLEMAN; BY ILLUSTRATED suddenly I remembered. Years earlier, while I be able to find any leads with only the was taking a family history class at Brigham name of the cemetery. Despite my pes- Young University, my mother and I had simism, I decided to give it a try. I picked up the phone and dialed information. Stunned, I listened as the operator gave me the cemetery’s address and phone number without any hesitation. I never imagined it would be so easy.

Martin and Elisa On a sunny but chilly autumn morning on my last day in New York, my friend and I hailed a cab outside my friend’s apartment and gave the driver the address of the cemetery. On the way, our Spanish-speaking driver asked why we were going there. My friend explained in Spanish that we were hoping to find the burial plots purchased by my great-great grandfather. The cab driver seemed intrigued and continued to ask questions as we drove. After sharing with us the importance of family in his Hispanic culture, he told us how amazed he was that I would do something like this for ancestors I had never even met. Upon arriving at the cemetery, I went into the main office and explained my quest to the woman behind the counter. Since the family plot of eight graves had been purchased well over 100 years ago, I anxiously considered the amount of time it might take her to uncover any infor- mation. I waited, knowing that my flight was set to leave in a few hours and the taxi’s meter was still running out- side. I was pleasantly surprised when she walked over to a card-file drawer and—as if this information had just been entered yesterday—jotted down some notes and returned to the counter within a few minutes. “There are two people buried here,” she stated. An indescribable feeling came over me. “What?” I replied. “Do you have any informa- tion on them?”

ENSIGN JUNE 2006 51 A PULL FROM OUR ANCESTORS “The process of finding our ances- tors one by one can be challenging but It had been 133 years ago and our also exciting and family now lived far to the west, but

© BUSATH PHOTOGRAPHY © BUSATH rewarding. We a member of John’s posterity had often feel spiritual guidance returned here in search of informa- as we go to the sources tion and had found it. I truly felt the “Hold on a minute,” she which identify them. Because Holy Ghost had guided me to this answered. “Let me go look in this is a very spiritual work, we can sacred spot. another book in the back.” expect help from the other side of Soon she returned with the the veil. We feel a pull from our rel- From Queens to Utah names and burial dates for the two atives who are waiting for us to As I returned home to Utah that individuals. One was Martin Reiss, find them so their ordinance work day, I thought about finding Martin with no information except his can be done. This is a Christlike and his sister Elisa. I realized that fam- name, since his body had been trans- service because we are doing some- ily history work isn’t just for the older ferred here in 1867 from another thing for them that they cannot do generation. I had found family mem- cemetery. The other was Elisa Reiss, for themselves.” bers—even though I didn’t think I who had died at the age of three. President James E. Faust, Second Counselor could. My mother had been frustrated in the First Presidency, “The Phenomenon Since it was a law in New York that That Is You,” Ensign, Nov. 2003, 55–56. for years, but all along, the answer lay only direct-line descendants could be in a brown envelope tucked away in buried in a family plot, I knew they her box of old family papers. The must be the children of my great-great-grandfather John envelope had been transported by my great-grandmother Edward Reiss. She continued, “There aren’t markers on Elizabeth Reiss Kendrick to homes in Pennsylvania and Ohio the grave sites, so they might be a little difficult to find.” and finally to California. Then my mother brought it with her to Utah when she attended BYU as a young college stu- At the Cemetery dent. It wasn’t just a coincidence that these few docu- With map in hand, our driver was beaming with enthusi- ments—the only link to these family members who had asm as he drove the oak-lined William Avenue through the passed away so many years previously—would fall into the older part of the cemetery toward my family’s plot. Once hands of my mother when she embarked on her quest to there, we followed the map’s directions, searching for the find her ancestors. Nor was it just a coincidence that I had proper locale among crumbling monuments. I was excited— the opportunity of being in the right place at the right time after all, this was my family. But to see that our cab driver, a on my very first trip to New York. complete stranger, was so interested was truly remarkable. I was bringing home with me the names of Martin and Once we found the site of the graves—a little area along Elisa Reiss, whom we hadn’t even known existed. They William Avenue—the driver told us how sad he felt that the would be added to our family history and, through the graves of these two children had no markers. We agreed. temple ordinances, be reunited with their family. As we walked through crunchy autumn leaves and As the Lord tells us in Luke 15: “What man of you, hav- acorns on the lane near our plot, I could imagine the ing an hundred sheep, if he lose one of them, doth not . . . solemn sight of John Edward Reiss coming here some go after that which is lost, until he find it? . . . And when he 133 years before in a horse-drawn wagon to bury his tiny cometh home, he calleth together his friends and neigh- daughter Elisa. This image filled me with emotion. I was bours, saying unto them, Rejoice with me; for I have found walking in the same steps as my great-great grandfather. my sheep which was lost” (vv. 4, 6). ■

52 SIX WAYS TO KEEP YOUR MARRIAGE STRONG

BY WENDI LYN JENSEN

Most marriages have ups and downs, but but that our marriage—any marriage—was like the yo-yo these six ideas can help keep your marriage with its ups and downs. And it takes both partners working on the upswing. together to make it through the “down” times. Every situation is different, and my husband and I are y husband and I were at his parents’ home talk- far from perfect, but we’ve found a few things that help us ing with his mother about his younger sister, remain focused on making our marriage work. Mwho was contemplating marriage. She had been 1. Attend the temple together. There is nothing quite like wondering if you were supposed sitting in an endowment session, looking across the aisle, to have “fireworks” or “tingles” and seeing your spouse, all in white, smiling at you. Going when you were with the per- to the temple is a great way to build spiritual unity. After you son you intended to marry. complete a session, it is hard to be negative or to find fault As we were talking, our with your spouse. The eternal per- seven-year-old son came in spective comes into view, and and wanted help with a yo- you are reminded of the yo. My husband became a covenants you have made. big kid and proceeded to We have found that show our son many yo-yo when we attend the tem- tricks. I laughed as I watched ple, we are more likely to him and realized there were do the things that keep the

PHOTOGRAPH BY ROBERT CASEY, POSED BY MODELS, MAY NOT BE COPIED NOT MAY MODELS, POSED BY ROBERT CASEY, BY PHOTOGRAPH still some “tingles,” Spirit of the Lord strong in

53 My husband and I do not yell at each other. This is not to say that we don’t have disagreements. But when we are upset, we usually take a while to work things out in our own minds before discussing the situation with each other. If we were to talk immediately, we might say something mean or cruel just because we are caught up in the heat of the moment. When we take time to analyze what made us upset, we don’t dwell on unimportant words or acts that may have triggered the disagreement but really have noth- ing to do with the root of the problem. 4. Lean on each other. Every family will face some sort of difficulty. They come in all forms—sudden unemploy- ment, a rebellious teenager, a vehicle accident, a very sick our home. We need all the help we can get to fight off the child. Whatever the problem, it is important to lean on forces of Satan, and going to the temple helps us invite the each other and strengthen each other. Lord’s Spirit into our marriage. When our second child was almost two, he went into res- 2. Help each other in Church callings. piratory failure due to an infection and was Some callings require more time away put in intensive care. This was hard on all from family than others, putting a strain of us. My husband couldn’t afford to take a on family relationships. My husband and whole week off from work, so we decided I have made it a point to serve together. it would be best for him to continue work- We support each other in our callings and ing while I stayed at the hospital during the share some responsibilities. Each of us is day. I became very worn out, both physi- willing to watch the children when the cally and emotionally. But my husband other has an activity or meeting. We try would hurry in after work to relieve me so to be positive about each other’s callings that I could shower, have a nap, and spend and to offer helpful ideas. a few minutes with our oldest son, who was staying with I am currently serving in Young Women, and my hus- grandparents. This did wonders for my well-being. I made band is a counselor in the bishopric. He comes and listens sure I was the one to stay at the hospital at night so my hus- to some of my lessons and helps me prepare for certain band could get a good night’s sleep and be alert at work. It activities. I keep track of his meetings so I can have dinner would have been easy to turn on each other because of the ready for him. I also allow myself to be flexible when bish- stress we were under, but by leaning on each other we grew opric responsibilities come up. When we support each closer and were able to deal with having a very sick child. other in our callings, we both know what the other is 5. Be a couple. Getting married and leaving the single doing and we feel closer to each other. life can be quite an adjustment. It takes sacrifice and love 3. Watch what you say. Words can be cruel. They can to make marriage work. One thing that has helped us is to damage and tear your marriage apart very quickly. When remember we are a couple. This means we both have had you allow yourself to become angry, you may say things to sacrifice and give up certain things. All too often mar- you wish you could take back. But once spoken, words ried couples try to continue with the separate activities PHOTOGRAPHY: UPPER LEFT, JERRY GARNS; CENTER LEFT, STEVE BUNDERSON; RIGHT, WELDEN C. ANDERSEN; RIGHT, STEVE BUNDERSON; GARNS; JERRY CENTER LEFT, UPPER LEFT, PHOTOGRAPHY: are very hard to erase from your partner’s mind. they participated in while they were single without giving BE COPIED NOT MAY MODELS, CRAIG DIMOND; POSED BY RIGHT, FAR

54 much regard to their partner. My husband loves to play and watch a video together. Making time for each other is softball and basketball, and he would participate in one not easy, but it is vital to a marriage. or the other every night if he could. But he realizes that 6. Remember why you fell in love. During the down leaving me with the children while he focuses on his own times it may be difficult to remember why you married interests is not fair to me. your spouse. Those are the times, though, when you most We have to compromise in marriage. Each partner needs need to remember. Stop and think about the things that to realize that being a couple should take priority over indi- made you fall in love. When I find myself being critical of vidual interests. This is not to say that once you get married, my husband, I think about his smile, his musical abilities, you have to give up all individual hobbies and interests. But or perhaps our first kiss. Anything positive about him helps me remember that this is the man I want to spend eternity with. Yes, marriage could be like a yo-yo, but if we work on this most important relationship we can avoid many of the down times. One yo-yo trick is to let it “sleep”—the yo-yo just spins in place at the bottom of the string. All too often married couples let their marriages “sleep.” They don’t try hard enough to get back to the “up” side of things. It is a constant struggle, one that takes daily effort, but the rewards are eternal. And if you work at it, no matter how long you’ve been married, you can still have the “tingles.” ■

they need to be pursued carefully, so that they don’t cause contention or frustration in the marriage relationship. In addition to separate interests, the busyness of life can sometimes prevent you from being a couple. A marriage relationship can quite easily become second- ary to children, work, callings, or household duties. My husband and I try to have at least one date every week. Sometimes we go out to dinner or some other activity, but other times we just put the kids to bed

ENSIGN JUNE 2006 55 LESSONS FROM THE

OLD TESTAMENT

OBEDIENCEIS BETTER THAN SACRIFICE

BY ELDER DAVID F. EVANS many years, and he now had to receive Of the Seventy constant care in an Alzheimer’s facility. s I have read the Old Testament, I have As we discussed my father’s condition, I been impressed with the teaching that indicated to President Monson that I did not A blessings come as we follow the Lord think Dad would be able to comprehend the by obeying His prophets. One of the most call or understand that our family would be striking examples of this principle is found in leaving for three years. We discussed the fact 1 Samuel, where the prophet Samuel declares that when I said good-bye to my father, it ILLUSTRATED BY TED HENNINGER BY ILLUSTRATED I testify that the Lord to King Saul: “Hath the Lord as great delight would probably be the last time I would see knows our hearts in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying him in this life. It was a tender discussion and He knows our the voice of the Lord? Behold, to obey is bet- with one of the Lord’s prophets. needs, and if we will ter than sacrifice, and to hearken than the fat President Monson formally extended the choose to be obedi- of rams” (1 Samuel 15:22). call and then gave me instruction for which ent, He will provide This lesson was impressed upon me force- I will be forever grateful. He told me to go to blessings in ways we fully in the spring of 1998 when, together the care facility and explain the call to Dad as can hardly imagine. with my wife, I was called to preside over the fully and normally as I would to anyone else. Japan Nagoya Mission. While most mission I was puzzled, because I did not think Dad presidents are called during the late fall and would be able to understand. However, the early winter and then depart around the next day I went and did as President Monson first of July, we found ourselves in President had told me. Thomas S. Monson’s office on April 28. We My mother was also in the room as were to leave in just seven weeks. During I told Dad about the call and our visit with the interview President Monson asked about President Monson. Dad just sat in his chair the health of my father and mother. Mother with his head slumped to the side, as he did was well, but my father was suffering from so often. Near the conclusion of my visit, I the debilitating effects of Alzheimer’s dis- said to him, “Dad, do you feel good about ease. His health had been declining for this?” At that question, he lifted up his head,

56 he prophet Samuel T admonished King Saul to obey the voice of the Lord.

looked directly at me, and said, “Yes, I do.” It is my testi- passed away. His passing left a void in my life that has mony that he was blessed, at least for that moment, with been eased by my knowledge that he has safely returned the ability to clearly understand and clearly respond. Then to Heavenly Father and that he is well, restored, and en- he slipped back to his former condition. gaged in the Lord’s work on the other side. How I look What a wonderful experience. For a moment, and for forward to visiting with him again and telling him all that the last time in this life, we had truly communicated. I happened during our mission and afterward. knew how Dad felt about the call. I was comforted to How grateful I am that we have living prophets to lead know that we left on our mission with his blessing. and guide us today. I have reflected again and again on the If I had relied on my own understanding before meet- blessing of knowing the word of the Lord and then having ing with my father, I would have assumed that a conversa- the power to choose to follow His word. Whether He gives tion about my mission call would be fruitless. But the Lord direction on a seemingly small matter, such as the counsel was aware of my wife and me, and because He knew the to speak with my father, or whether it is a matter upon longing of our hearts, He directed us through one of His which our very salvation may hinge, it is my testimony that prophets. Perhaps this direction also came because the the Lord seeks our obedience coupled with our faith. I Lord knew of my father’s desire to express, one last time pray that each of us will choose to be obedient to His in mortality, his love, faith, and support before his son left word. I testify that He knows our hearts and He knows for several years on the Lord’s errand. our needs, and if we will choose to be obedient, He will Less than four months after we left for Japan, my father provide blessings in ways we can hardly imagine. ■

ENSIGN JUNE 2006 57 58 BY EVE BURCH

An unusual telephone call changed him. We lost him unexpectedly six weeks later due to a the course of my life. heart attack and associated complications. It took me awhile to adjust to the addition of one man to my life and don’t remember when my parents first told me I was the loss of another. But Heavenly Father always knows adopted. It was just part of who I was—like my blue when we are ready to grow through trials and challenges. I eyes and my love of music. My father always made By the end of the year, when life was starting to feel a it sound like something wonderful. He said he and my little more settled, I got an unusual telephone call from my mother had especially chosen me, while other parents had mother. She had received a letter from a couple in Utah to take what they were given. As I grew, I knew that my par- who said they were the maternal grandparents of a baby ents, to whom I had been sealed in the Idaho Falls Idaho girl placed for adoption in Sandpoint, Idaho, 28 years Temple, were the parents I was supposed to have. My love previously. They requested that if my parents were willing, for my family members grew each day, and I knew that no the information containing their names, address, and matter what my bloodline was, they were truly my family. telephone number be forwarded to me. Yet during my teenage years, I often thought that some- My mother explained that the letter had taken a day I would like to find the woman who had given birth to miraculous journey to reach her. It was originally mailed me. I was curious about the circumstances surrounding to the family with whom my biological mother had stayed my birth, and, most of all, I wanted to thank my birth during her pregnancy. This family forwarded it to a dear mother for what she had done for me. Although I did not lady who had been in my parents’ ward at the time I was fully comprehend the complexities of the decision she had adopted. She had long since moved from Sandpoint, but made, I did know that placing a child for adoption was not the family remembered where she worked and sent it a popular choice. I was incredibly grateful that my birth there. This sister in turn forwarded the letter to my mother had chosen to give me something she could not parents—in Sandpoint, Idaho—with no street address. provide herself—an eternal family with both a mother and Although Sandpoint is a relatively small town, under normal a father to love and care for me. circumstances it still would have been next to impossible to The year 1992 turned out to be very eventful for me. I deliver a letter with no street address. But my mother had married my sweetheart in the Nevada Temple in worked for years as a mail carrier and was well known at the May. I will be eternally grateful that my father was able to Sandpoint post office. The letter was hand-delivered directly

ILLUSTRATED BY JULIE ROGERS BY ILLUSTRATED attend our wedding, because that was the last time I saw to her when it arrived. I can’t help but believe there was

ENSIGN JUNE 2006 59 heavenly assistance in helping this letter along its journey. I would do if I were ever given the opportunity. I thanked My mother told me she would mail the information to her from the bottom of my heart for the decision she had me rather than give it to me over the telephone. She said made and for giving me a loving, active Latter-day Saint she wanted to allow me time to decide what I would do. family. I told her that, through her sacrifice, she had al- The next few days passed slowly as I pondered my op- lowed me to have everything I valued in my life. tions. Even after receiving the letter, I carried it around in Karen did not respond. At first, I was uncertain if I had my purse for two weeks. I knew that contacting these peo- said something wrong. Then I realized she was sobbing. It ple would answer many of the questions I’d always had. took a few minutes, but she was then able to share with And yet I had heard of so many reunions of me a special experience. In the years since this kind that had not ended well. I could be thanked Karen my birth, she had often felt worried and anx- opening myself up to so many things. In the for giving me ious about me and would sometimes get de- end, however, I knew that if I did not attempt I a loving, active pressed. During one of these periods she to contact this couple, I would always be curi- Latter-day Saint received a blessing of comfort from a family ous and wonder what would have happened family. I told her she friend. He said many things in the blessing, if I had made a different decision. had allowed me to but one promise stood out. She was told that One afternoon at work, I finally convinced have everything I at some future time, either in this life or in myself to make the phone call. I spoke with valued in my life. the life to come, we would meet again and I two sweet-sounding people who could not would thank her for the choice and sacrifice emphasize enough how happy they were that she had made. Our conversation that night I had called. They briefly told me about their family and was a direct fulfillment of that promise. the circumstances surrounding my birth. Their daughter, Even though Karen and I were miles apart, the Spirit Karen, had become pregnant as a high school senior, with bore witness to both of us that her choice and my growing no option of being happily married. They asked about me up in the family I did were all in accordance with Heavenly and my life. They requested my home phone number and Father’s plan. told me they would have Karen call me that evening. So I Karen and I made plans to meet in person, and in the went home after work quite anxious about the telephone 13 years since that night, Karen has become a cherished call I was to receive. friend. She has developed a special relationship with my Karen called me as promised. We spent what seemed sweet mother as well. Karen has never attempted to take like an eternity on the phone together. Like her parents, my mother’s place. She simply adds another dimension of she wanted to know all about me, my family, and the life I love to a life full of blessings. She has also become had led. She was thrilled to know that I was active in the “Grandma Karen” to my four children, who adore her. Church, had served a full-time mission, and had been mar- After experiencing the pregnancy and delivery of my ried in the temple just that year. She shared with me how own four children, I appreciate even more deeply the gift difficult it had been to place me for adoption and the Karen gave me. When you carry a baby for nine months, struggles and uncertainties she had experienced since that that baby truly becomes a part of you. To give up that life day, wondering if she had made the right choice. She so selflessly in order to allow that baby to have a complete wanted to emphasize that she did not let me go because family and the opportunity of temple blessings takes a she didn’t want me or love me. She had felt strongly that deeper kind of love. It is true charity. ■ I was meant to be someone else’s baby. For more information about adoption or dealing with unplanned pregnancy, contact LDS Family Services At that point, I did what I had always promised myself or go to www.itsaboutlove.org.

60 VISITING TEACHING MESSAGE

How Can We Exercise Charity and Nurture Those in Need? Exercising Charity and Anne C. Pingree, second counselor Nurturing Those in Need in the Relief Society general presi- dency: “I testify as did Alma that ‘by Prayerfully select and Elder Marvin J. Ashton (1915–94) small and simple things are great read from this message of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles: things brought to pass’ [Alma 37:6]. the scriptures and “We often equate charity with visiting In our homes, those small and simple teachings that meet the the sick, taking in casseroles to those in things—our daily acts of charity— needs of the sisters you visit. Share need, or sharing our excess with those proclaim our conviction, ‘Here am I; your experiences and testimony. who are less fortunate. But really, true send me.’ I leave my witness that the Invite those you teach to do the same. charity is much, much more. greatest act of charity in time and all “Real charity is not something eternity was the Atonement of Jesus Blessings of Belonging to Relief you give away; it is something that Christ. He willingly laid down His Society: In keeping with the Relief you acquire and make a part of your- life to atone for my sins and yours. Society’s motto, “Charity never self. And when the virtue of charity I express my devotion to His cause faileth,” each sister is encouraged to becomes implanted in your heart, and my desire to serve Him always, develop and exercise the pure love of you are never the same again. . . . wherever He calls me” (“Charity: Christ in all aspects of her life. She is “Perhaps the greatest charity comes One Family, One Home at a Time,” also encouraged to nurture and care when we are kind to each other, when Liahona and Ensign, Nov. 2002, 110). for those in her family, her ward, and we don’t judge or categorize someone President Howard W. Hunter her community. else, when we simply give each other (1907–95): “We entreat you to the benefit of the doubt or remain minister with your powerful influ- What Is Charity? quiet. Charity is accepting someone’s ence for good in strengthening Moroni 7:47: “Charity is the pure differences, weaknesses, and short- our families, our church, and our

ILLUSTRATED BY SHANNON CHRISTENSEN BY ILLUSTRATED love of Christ, and it endureth comings; having patience with some- communities. . . . forever.” one who has let us down; or resisting “Those who follow Christ seek the impulse to become offended. . . . to follow his example. His suffering Charity is refusing to take advantage of in behalf of our sins, shortcomings, another’s weakness and being willing sorrows, and sicknesses should to forgive someone who has hurt us. motivate us to similarly reach out Charity is expecting the best of in charity and compassion to those each other” (“The Tongue around us. It is most appropriate Can Be a Sharp Sword,” that the motto of the longest- Ensign, May 1992, 18–19). standing women’s organization in Moroni 7:48: “Pray the world—the Relief Society of The unto the Father with all Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day the energy of heart, Saints—is ‘Charity Never Faileth’ ” that ye may be filled (“Stand Firm in the Faith,” Ensign, with this love.” Nov. 1994, 97). ■

ENSIGN JUNE 2006 61 QUESTIONS& ANSWERS

I have observed that when a loved one dies, many my parents’ home. Digital cameras families face conflict over the division of assets and work well for this, and the resulting belongings. What are some basic guidelines that images can easily be put onto a CD and stored in a safety deposit box for could help me avoid similar problems? insurance purposes. We numbered each photo and ROBERT CASEY BY PHOTOGRAPHY property and any special situations. made a database that contained the Your estate plan does not need to following columns: category of item provide for equal division of property (furniture, jewelry, and so on), item or complete fairness. Share the rea- name, description, history. We then sons for your decisions with your had two final columns. One was the family now so they aren’t surprised column in which people put their later at the reading of the will. names if they desired to inherit that Gregory L. Tanner, California item. The last column was the official Today, one can acquire a simple will record of who would actually inherit very reasonably from an attorney or the article. There are many ways to legal clinic. Costs vary depending on reach a final decision if more than circumstances, local economic consid- one person wants the same item. erations, and the complexity of the will. I appreciate that my parents have Self-help documents are available in of- insisted that all of their estate, finan- Before Death fice supply stores and on the Internet. cial, and funeral details are worked We have been counseled to pre- Caveat emptor (“let the buyer beware”) out now. It lifts a great burden from pare for unforeseen events. The trans- is the rule for all self-help documents. their shoulders and will make our fer of possessions upon death should David L. Evans, Washington lives easier in the future. When the be such an event. Start now and have Be sure to tell your spouse or time comes to mourn, our family will a plan in place to minimize strained another family member what your be able to focus on supporting one family relations at the time of your computer passwords are so they can another and will not be torn apart by death. Planning for the transfer of pos- access financial records and other details and decisions. sessions after death applies to every- necessary documents on the com- Patricia A. Gnadt, Illinois one, not just those with large estates. puter. Also, let them know where im- Some family heirlooms may mean Get a recommendation of a quali- portant paper documents are located. something special to one individual fied and capable attorney to help. You Earl D. Jardine, California and not to others. Why not give it to want someone who will be able to My family members and I have cre- that person to enjoy while you are advise you on all the aspects of your ated a photo album of everything in alive and can see the smile it brings?

62 There also might be things of value that nobody in the family really wants. Why not dispose of those things where they will do the most good? My wife and I are in the process of disposing of those things that we do not really need. It feels good to be sim- plifying our lives so that we may have more time for the important things. Ed Kearney, Utah When family treasures are given away prior to death, the giver should include a letter or note to the recipient identifying the object, stating clearly that it is being given as a gift, and de- scribing the object’s history, previous Family meetings can be a time for healing, sharing fond memories, owners, significance to the giver, and and strengthening each other. so forth. This letter serves as evidence 2. We began with a family prayer. was then up to us as brothers to work that the object was freely given to the This was a time for healing, for out the distribution of her household. recipient, as a certificate of authentic- reflection of fond memories, and for The following process proved to ity, and as a document explaining the strengthening and uplifting each other. be successful: object’s place in one’s family history. 3. We sought to keep the Spirit An inventory was made of all of Richard A. McFarlane, California with us as we made decisions regard- the items and sent to each brother. My mother prepared well by asking ing her earthly possessions. We de- Each brother privately discussed with each of us what we would like and cided it might become necessary to his wife which items he and she most then labeling her possessions with adjourn and meet again at a later date, wanted to have. small stickers indicating who should when possible, to keep the Spirit. Then, without our wives, we broth- have the item. As a result, there were 4. We made copies for everyone ers gathered to the family home and no conflicts between us concerning of journals, letters, pictures, recorded chose numbers out of a hat. The what each of us should inherit. blessings, death certificate, personal brother who drew number 1 would Wayne H. Martin, Ohio will, and so on. have the first choice of a household 5. We allowed time for reflection item; the number 2 brother would After Death and grieving. It helped us set aside have the second choice, and down the Upon my mother’s death, my father, our worldly passions and focus on the line to number 5. However, the num- brothers, and I found peace, healing, eternal nature of this life and the next. ber 5 brother would have the fifth and and comfort by doing the following: Amanda Widmer, Iowa the sixth choice of items. The number 1. We held a family meeting, After my mother died, it was 4 brother, who had already had the ensuring that each immediate family understood among my brothers and fourth choice, then had the seventh member was invited and encouraged me that any gift given to her would be choice. The pattern continued so that to be present. returned to the family of the giver. It the number 1 brother, who had had

ENSIGN JUNE 2006 63 QUESTIONS& ANSWERS

the first choice, couldn’t choose again until the 10th choice. This pattern was repeated until all of the household items had been chosen. This manner of choosing, based on a random drawing but weighted in terms of one’s opportunity for choice, gave each brother a fair opportunity of choosing among the household items without feelings of jealousy or con- Be sure that family members know where important documents are located. tention. We enjoyed peace and broth- Often there is one family member item to begin with. So if you don’t get erly love throughout the process. who “doesn’t want anything.” This per- it, you haven’t lost anything and you Doug Ladle, Idaho son often cannot voice how deep his don’t have to figure out what to do Family relationships are more im- or her loss truly feels. Perhaps this per- with it when you get home. portant than earthly possessions. son hasn’t lived near the loved one for Margaret Lott Turpin, Idaho Realize that it isn’t worth it to argue many years and feels a sense of guilt as My parents’ wills were very brief— over a deceased loved one’s posses- well as a deep and profound sense of deeding all to each other, then nam- sions. This can result in hard feelings, loss. This family member can feel un- ing the executor, and adding only emotional words, and possibly litiga- deserving. At some later date, he or “share and share alike.” tion in the courtroom. And whenever she may regret not having some spe- My brother, who was executor of there is litigation, only the lawyers cial item by which to remember the the will, reminded us frequently: “All truly come out the winners. loved one. Others need to recognize of this is just a mess of pottage! What Remember the intentions of the that this family member should not be really matters is the love and good deceased loved one. Consider how left out of any decisions or divisions. feelings between us as siblings.” heartbroken the loved one would be Careful consideration of this hurting On the day we gathered together to know of arguing and contention. individual can afford him or her great (siblings only—no spouses or chil- David A. Schory, California comfort once time has passed. dren), we each wrote a numbered list Everyone suffers loss differently. Lisa Morton Mills, Tennessee of items desired. Next we each read The division of property will go more Here are some suggestions based off our number 1 item. If no one else smoothly if we will give others the on what helped my siblings and me had listed that item as number 1, the benefit of the doubt and look on the after our parents’ death: individual could take that item. If heart. For example, if a member of 1. Do not expect an inheritance. more than one listed it first, they ne- the family seems to want to control Any material possession you get is gotiated. Often feelings and memories the process or exhibits greed, it may just a bonus. The real inheritance left were shared, expressing why the item simply be that this individual has an to us is not things but values. was desired. It was surprising that oth- emotional void opened up by the loss. 2. Do not expect things to be to- ers didn’t desire the same items to the This individual may subconsciously tally equal. Those who get more also same degree. feel that a tangible object will fill an inherit more responsibility such as It was a sweet and tender exchange, emotional need. He or she may be taxes, upkeep, and so on. and love abounds. ■ in need of extra love and support. 3. Remember, you didn’t have the Rita Hardy, Alberta, Canada

64 LATTER-DAY SAINT VOICES

it off and busied myself unpacking. I had discovered earlier that the “I’m nervous because I’m not used entryway light didn’t work, so I left Being Watched to being here,” I reasoned. “I need the front door open a crack, letting By Kimberly Webb time to adjust.” a sliver of light spill out. Barefoot, I Church Magazines It was almost midnight when hurried through the darkness onto hen I found the address I I came down with an itchy sore the porch. had scrawled in my note- throat. “I must be allergic to some- Suddenly I froze. W book, I thought the place thing,” I thought. I hunted around The night air was still. I couldn’t looked creepy. It was a big, old, gray until I found Rachael’s scented can- hear a thing. But I felt someone house that had been converted into dles. I decided to put them outside. approaching. apartments, but it looked more like a haunted house in a black-and-white movie. Still, I wanted to meet Rachael, so I hurried marched up the rickety through the steps. I darkness onto Earlier, when I stared the porch. Suddenly at the housing ads tacked I froze. I couldn’t to a board in the institute hear a thing. But felt building, the ads had I someone blurred together like a approaching. patchwork quilt made of paper and pushpins. But one ad stood out. It showed a stick figure say- ing, “This is me, Rachael. I like running, jazz music, and choco- late.” I laughed. It didn’t say much about the apartment, but the roommate seemed fun. After talking to Rachael for a while, I decided that the feeling inside her apartment seemed welcoming. I dismissed my first impression and moved in a few weeks later. The next morning Rachael left on a two-week family vaca- tion. An eerie feeling sank in the

ILLUSTRATED BY KRISTIN YEE BY ILLUSTRATED minute she was gone, but I brushed LATTER-DAY SAINT VOICES

“Get back into your apartment warn me of her impression. “I trail, we pointed out the wildflowers before someone else does.” The couldn’t catch you on the phone, and trees. We discussed how much Spirit’s instructions were unmistak- so I prayed. I knew I couldn’t protect Heavenly Father must love us to able and urgent. you, but Heavenly Father could.” create such beauty for our enjoy- Still grasping the candles, I raced Mom was right. A stranger had ment. We tried to decide which was through the darkness into my living hidden in my entryway, watching me. the most beautiful place we had room and slammed the door. As Higher powers had also been watch- seen. One child suggested nearby soon as I locked it, the doorknob ing and had told me what to do. Yellowstone National Park. Someone turned. My jaw dropped. I watched I know that the Lord won’t always the doorknob slowly twist back and protect me from tragedy, but as I fol- forth without a sound. low Him, He won’t let His plan for my Someone had been hiding in my life be thwarted. It was His will for me entryway! He had tried to follow me to be protected that night, and I am inside, only a moment too late. Now grateful He was watching over me. ■ nothing but a flimsy wooden door stood between us. Instinctively, I hit the door with my fist as hard as I could. Just Five More I don’t know how long I stood there silently praying, waiting for Minutes something to happen. Finally a By Elaine Brown Preslar peaceful feeling assured me that the threat had passed and I would ur family enjoys nature. We be safe for the night. spend almost every Saturday The next morning my mom called. Ooutside—hiking, camping, She and Dad were gone on vacation, bike riding, or sightseeing in the sum- or I might have called them sooner. mer; and sledding, skiing, or taking Before I could tell Mom what had walks in the snow in the happened, she said, “I’ve been wor- winter. These are wonderful acob, age 7, ried about you! I keep getting the family times that give my said, “I think impression that your entryway is a husband and me opportuni- the most danger zone. Is it well lit? It would be ties to converse with our J beautiful place so easy for someone to hide there.” three children. in the world is I shivered to realize how close I One summer day we where all the things had come to being attacked—so hiked around a lake in a about Jesus are.” close that my mom had sensed the nearby forest. It was perfect danger from 200 miles (320 km) weather: sunny and warm away. with a refreshing, cool Then she told me she had been breeze from the lake. As we trying to call me the day before to made our way down the

66 else suggested a favorite camping spot. We thought about our trip to the ocean and the beauty of a cross- Small Decisions, country ski trail with trees covered Eternal Blessings in glistening snow. By Víctor Pino Fuentes Our youngest child, Jacob, age 7, who had been quietly listening to our first heard the gospel as a child clothes with discussion, said, “I think the most when my parents welcomed the hope that I I the missionaries to our home in would attend church Antofagasta, . I grew up in the with her. I was too stubborn to put Church, but I did little to gain a per- on the clothes, but I started going sonal testimony. Consequently, I to sacrament meeting in jeans and a eventually fell from activity and found T-shirt. As less-active members often myself facing life’s challenges without do, I sat on the bench nearest the the divine power of the gospel to help door so I could be the last one in and me. My faithful mother, however, con- the first one out without having any- tinued to love me and remained a one speak to me. quiet example of righteousness. After several months I realized I Although I married a Church mem- was not being a good example to my ber, neither of us felt the urgency or children or blessing my family with necessity of living the standards we the priesthood as I should. I made the had been taught in our youth. But decision to never again miss a day of as time went by, life in our home church. I had watched the application changed radically for the worse. of gospel principles brighten my life, Because of the difficult problems and I realized that this simple decision we were facing, my wife decided to should have been made long ago. start attending church with our daugh- How eager the Lord was to bless ter. I had no desire to go with them, my family and me! My wife and I and yet they returned home each week our children were soon sealed to each and shared what they had learned. other in the Chile Temple. Some time later I began to receive I am grateful for a mother who dili- visits from home teachers, two gently taught me the principles of the faithful brethren who somehow gospel, for a wife who encouraged me envisioned my divine potential through her love and example to live even though I couldn’t. them, for faithful home teachers, and Slowly, a change began to take for a Father in Heaven who patiently place in my heart, but I refused waited for me to live the gospel so He to acknowledge it at first. Every could bless me more than I thought Sunday my wife would iron my possible. ■

ENSIGN JUNE 2006 67 LATTER-DAY SAINT VOICES

beautiful place in the world is where whatever the surgery would bring. opened it and noticed the depiction all the things about Jesus are.” Things I believe that Temple Square is of a dancing couple. To my great sur- about Jesus? My mind searched for a beautiful to Jacob not because of prise, I also found the name Gretl connection, and then I realized that what he sees there but because Stättner. Instantly I recalled that this Jacob meant Temple Square in Salt of what he feels there. Heavenly was the name of my father’s second Lake City. With the magnificent tem- Father’s gifts of peace, hope, and wife. I had not thought about her ple, trees, fountains, and flower gar- comfort are more beautiful than any- for years. dens, Temple Square is indeed a thing Jacob can remember seeing My father was a customs official, beautiful place. But to Jacob, Temple with his physical eyes. but he was also an enthusiastic Square means more than the out- Understanding Heavenly Father’s dancer and oper- ward beauty of nature alone. plan and accepting and trusting in His ated his own y father Born with a complex congenital will can bring indescribable peace and dance school. A met his heart defect, Jacob is the veteran of joy. When we become discouraged, few years after my second three heart surgeries and numerous upset, or afraid, there is somewhere parents’ divorce, M wife, Gretl, at his medical tests, with many more sur- to turn—not to a specific beautiful my father met dance school. I geries anticipated. His doctor fre- place but to our Savior Jesus Christ. Gretl at the dance knew she had a quently comes to Idaho, but for And I think Jacob is right: nothing is school. Their right to be sealed Jacob’s surgeries and some tests, more beautiful than that. ■ relationship was to him. we must travel to Primary Children’s short, however, Medical Center in Salt Lake City. because my These trips are often filled with anxi- father died from a ety and worry about Jacob’s health, Reuniting ruptured appen- and we have found that a trip to dix when he was Temple Square helps calm our nerves the Dancing only 35 years old. As he lay dying he and reminds us of Heavenly Father’s Couple must have hoped that Gretl would plan and of our need to trust in Him. take me on, knowing that my mother By Kurt Stättner The night before Jacob’s most did not look after me. For this rea- recent and most complicated sur- son, my father married Gretl just gery, we took him to the Temple or 25 years I worked in down- three hours before he died. Gretl, Square visitors’ center, where we sat town Wiener Neustadt, Austria. however, was extremely young and together looking at that glorious F On a mild day in May, I strolled still under her parents’ influence. statue of the Savior—the Christus. through the pedestrian zone during There was no way she could look Peaceful, warm, and safe in a par- my lunch break and came upon a after me, so I grew up in foster ent’s lap and not wanting to leave, bookstore. Near the door were two homes. Jacob sat uncharacteristically still large crates full of discounted books. As I stood there holding the book, and kept asking to stay for “just five I was curious to know what kind of seeing not only the name Stättner more minutes,” until our time there literature was selling at such a low but the dancing couple as well, I stretched past an hour. When at long price, and I picked up the top suddenly realized that this was my last we needed to leave, we all felt book in one of the crates. With father’s legal wife. She had a right to at peace and ready to cope with no particular interest in buying it, I be sealed to him.

68 My investigation disclosed that learn that no members of the family plot contained only a list of sur- Gretl had never remarried, that she were still living. We visited the ceme- names. After it occurred to us that had lived in Vienna and had operated tery but made no further progress at someone, after all, had to pay for the a foot care salon there. I remem- first, because the stone at the family grave and its maintenance, we asked bered her maiden name as well as the the authorities for information about place her family, the Weißenbergs, the grave’s owner. We received a had lived. My wife and I looked them name leading us to Vienna and to a up, but we were disappointed to woman who turned out to be Gretl’s niece. She provided us not only with all the required dates to perform Gretl’s temple work, but also with information about all the family mem- bers who had passed away: parents, grandparents, aunts, and uncles. It also turned out that when my wife and Gretl’s niece were young, they had entered the same high school at the same time, and both had graduated on the same day. How small the world can be. My wife and I submitted all the family names to the temple and were then able to personally carry out the work in the Frankfurt Germany Temple. I am deeply grateful for this opportunity and am firmly convinced that my finding my stepmother’s book was no mere coincidence. Our conversation with Gretl’s niece disclosed that Gretl had owned many books, and her niece had given some away, kept some, and sold some. Only a sin- gle book made its way to Wiener Neustadt, and I was the one who stumbled across it. ■

ENSIGN JUNE 2006 69 RANDOM SAMPLER

Our Neighborhood Craft Day s your home the gathering place for neighborhood children? IMine seems to be, and I encourage it. You see, I periodi- cally invite children over for a “make day.” It all started years ago when school-age children in our neighborhood began visiting me and my two toddlers at home. Because their mothers worked full- time, they had little to do during the Nutrition— afternoon, so I began entertaining them one day a week with my “treas- to Go ure box” of unfinished crafts. whenever I can manage it. When those projects were com- For me, the main reward is hile sitting down pleted, we made other inexpensive making my home a fun to a meal with crafts, such as papier-mâché items, place to be. I also enjoy pro- W the whole family sewn snakes, pipe-cleaner pencil top- viding our neighborhood is the ideal, sometimes that pers, and play-dough sculptures. I children with a good experience isn’t possible. And when you are also helped the children learn to cook in a Latter-day Saint home, and I in a rush, it’s easy to forget about simple treats. We enjoyed making hope I’m contributing to happy eating right or even eating at all. doughnuts, suckers, and baked good- childhood memories. Eating on the run requires some ies. They even helped me to make a I think any neighborhood would planning so that as you rush out spaghetti dinner for their parents. As enjoy having a “make day” mom. To the door your nutrition and health our “make day” became increasingly start your own neighborhood “make goals aren’t left behind. You can still popular on the street, the children day,” you might see if other stay-at- eat healthy on the go by following took turns bringing snacks to share. home mothers would like to help. these tips. We moved after two years, and It’s also a good idea to notify parents Start the day with a portable “make day” ended for a while. As my of your plans, obtain written permis- breakfast. Bring along a minibagel children grew, life got busier, but the sion for their child to participate, and and juice, yogurt and graham crack- fun memories of our initial neighbor- exchange contact information. The ers, or a plastic bag filled with nutri- hood activities have prompted me rewards of friendship and happy mem- tious dry cereal and a piece of fruit. to reinstate it for my own children ories are worth the time and effort. Prepare foods ahead of time. Pack and their friends from time to time, Marianne Olson, California sliced vegetables, dried and fresh

70 LEFT AND BOTTOM RIGHT: ILLUSTRATED BY JOE FLORES; ABOVE RIGHT: ILLUSTRATED BY BETH WHITTAKER refrigerator shelfwithperishablegoods. a drawerwithshelf-stable itemsora foods youhavepreparedinadvance,fill kids canfindahealthysnack.With the an easy-to-reach locationwherebusy to fillyour“snackcaddy.” and water, andpudding cannedfruit, stable snacks.Addcontainersofjuice containerwithmoreshelf- to-carry foods inthecar. Williams, Utah Pauline on track. health goals nutrition and your family’s keep youand ready togo,will healthy foods, week toprepare Taking afewminuteseach on thegoistoplanahead. of yourrecommendeddailycalories. food mealcancontainalmosttwo-thirds items. Keep inmindthatatypicalfast- large sizesoradditionalhigh-calorie dressing. Curbthetendencytoorder deli sandwich,orasaladwithlow-fat Choose achild-sizedhamburger, asmall outthedoor.cold liquidasyourun water orjuiceandfreeze;topoffwith notice. Fill with plasticbottlespartway that canbegrabbedatamoment’s and bagelsintoindividualplasticbags crackers, jerky, nuts,squeezeyogurt, stringcheese,whole-grain fruits, Make wisechoiceswheneatingout. Keep avarietyofnonperishable Create a“snackarea.” The secrettoeatingnutritiousfood Fill easy- aportable, Designate simple activitythathelpsustoremem- W Gratitude Web of Come OnOver! lesson andactivity. thenight’s furnish home iftheywould for theminmy and preparedinner family eachmonth choosea prayerfully the year, Idecidedto At thebeginningof I coulddotheinviting. for aninvitation,Irealized evenings. Rather thanwait my singlefamilyhome the “family”aspectin nities, Iwantedtoregain school andcareeropportu- When Imovedawayfor evening withmyfamily. ticipating infamilyhome As achild,Ilovedpar- FAMILY HOMEEVENINGHELPS things wearegratefulfor. A family tovisualizethemany forour e feelitisimportant ber ourblessingsis called “thegrati- he isthankful. tude web.”One thing forwhich person holdsa identifies one ball of yarn or ball ofyarn string and assigning potluckdishesor mealpreparationsby plify those whodon’tcouldsim- lies. Ienjoycooking,but both smallandlargefami- how topreparemealsfor ahead oftimeandlearned about foodpreferences cessful dinner, Iasked guests. To ensureasuc- trouble findingplentyof Would they!Ihadno serving just serving dessert. Utah Kristin W. Belcher, ually andasfamilies. loves uscanblessindivid- alize howmuchHeavenlyFather Activities andlessonsthathelpusre- der ourabilitytofocusonblessings. connectingthegroup. a webisformed, you maywanttoplayseveraltimesuntil Depending onthesizeofyourfamily, hashadatleastoneturn. everyone Theactivitycontinuesuntil the yarn. of process, alsoholdingontoaportion the circle.Thatpersonthenrepeats balltosomeone elsein tosses theyarn hethen oftheyarn, Holding ontopart Sometimes life’schallengescanhin- evening withthem. to sharefamilyhome grateful fortheopportunity been touched,andIam has in myhome,heart shared theirtestimonies family membershave ward family. Asvarious ofour a moreintegralpart had helpedmetobecome food youserve. thanthe is moreimportant Spending timewithothers I feltmydinnerinvitations By theendofyear, Marian F. Ashley, Delaware ENSIGN JUNE 2006 71 government and the people.” Thailand and west of Vietnam. Sister Gaile Clark, a It is slightly larger than Utah, humanitarian missionary, with just more than six million agreed. “It was marvelous and residents. The landlocked moving, so filled with hope, country is mostly mountain- optimism, and promise for ous and thickly forested. The the future,” she said. Mekong River forms a large Laos is located in South- part of its western border east Asia, northeast of with Thailand. ■ New Mission Presidents Receive Assignments Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve ccepting assignments Brother Iwaasa said. He feels, Apostles and his wife, Patricia, center, visit with members from the First Pres- just as in 1 Nephi 3:7, that the in Laos. A idency, 108 new Lord has prepared a way for mission presidents will them to accomplish this call- Elder Jeffrey R. Holland begin service on or around ing, as he has been privileged July 1, 2006. to serve in Canada as a bishop Dedicates Laos The new presidents and of a Japanese-speaking ward their wives are humbled by and in a stake presidency of a n February 23, 2006, 2003. President Khampee the calls to serve in this capac- Japanese stake. Sister Iwaasa Elder Jeffrey R. Keosouphom and his two ity, each in an individual way. has also served in a Japanese- OHolland of the counselors in the branch For John Douglas speaking ward and stake. Quorum of the Twelve presidency represent an Whisenant, serving in Brazil is “As a consequence, I feel Apostles dedicated the Lao emerging group of local going “home.” The president that we can understand many People’s Democratic Republic leaders in Laos. of the Brazil Porto Alegre of the challenges facing those for the work of the gospel. Two Church members North Mission served in this who become members of the A small group of local present at the dedication same mission as a young Church in Japan,” Brother Latter-day Saints, humanitar- have received mission calls missionary. Iwaasa said. ian missionaries, and visiting to the Thailand Bangkok “I was here when the Peter Leonard Joyce ex- Church leaders were in atten- Mission. Elder Tiengsack first stake was organized in pressed his feelings over dance as Elder Holland in- Inthavong and Sister São Paulo in 1966,” he said. different challenges as he pre- voked God’s blessings upon Lackhana Keosouphom, the “When we talk about the pares to preside over the Utah the people of Laos. He Vientiane branch president’s growth of the Church in a Ogden Mission: “I don’t know prayed that the government, daughter, will be the first two short time, I think of those of many areas in the Church its leaders, the Laotian peo- missionaries to leave from days and look at the Church with 144 stakes and about ple, and the entire land Laos to serve missions. in Brazil today. There are now 1,500 wards and branches,” would be blessed with peace. “This dedication will be a 26 missions and about 200 he said. Yet adapting to this Elder Holland was accom- blessing to our country and stakes—incredible.” mission environment is a chal- panied on his visit to Laos to the Church here,” said David B. Iwaasa is also lenge he looks forward to. and other Asian nations by President Keosouphom. “It returning home—to his The location is special to his Elder Donald L. Hallstrom of is the first time an Apostle of heritage. Both he and his wife, Sheena, since the mis- the Seventy, First Counselor the Lord has been on Laotian wife, Jane Kadonaga, are sionary who taught her the in the Asia Area Presidency; soil.” third-generation Japanese gospel 42 years ago resides and President Scott F. Hansen Elder Lawrence Martin, Canadians and are heading within the mission. “It’s not a of the Thailand Bangkok a humanitarian missionary, the Japan Fukuoka Mission. small world,” she said. “It’s a Mission. said, “It was touching to hear “Jane and I have a deep big Church.” The Vientiane Laos Branch Elder Holland bless the fields love for the Japanese people The missions and their of the Thailand Bangkok and crops, the very earth and want to share the joy of respective new presidents Mission was formed in June here, as well as blessing the the gospel with them,” are:

72 Argentina Bahía Blanca Chile Concepción South Illinois Chicago North Nevada Las Vegas West Raúl H. Spitale Jorge F. Zeballos William H. Stoddard Douglas M. Andrus Jr. Argentina Neuquén Chile Santiago East Jamaica Kingston New York New York North Carl L. Cook Sofocles E. Morán David W. Gingery Richard M. Searle Australia Adelaide Chile Viña del Mar Japan Fukuoka New York New York South Robert E. Quinn Gerardo J. Wilhelm David B. Iwaasa Steven D. Bennion Australia Sydney South China Hong Kong Japan Tokyo North New York Utica Brent W. McMaster Lee H. Van Dam Allen F. Hill Jay W. Eckersley Belgium Brussels/Netherlands Colombia Bogotá North Korea Seoul Nigeria Enugu Paul R. Woodland Hernando Camargo Man Goo Cho W. Blair Garff Brazil Belém Colombia Bogotá South Madagascar Antananarivo Nigeria Ibadan Roger D. Hoggan Rene Arturo Martinez Ricardo V. Gaya Steven G. Dyreng Brazil Belo Horizonte East Costa Rica San José Maryland Baltimore Nigeria Lagos P. Randy Johnson Luis Ricardo Arbizú T. Dean Moody Chad L. Evans Brazil Belo Horizonte Dominican Republic Santiago Massachusetts Boston Nigeria Uyo Daniel K. Frei Richard W. Thomas Edward C. England J. Wayne Brockbank Brazil Porto Alegre North England Birmingham Mexico Cuernavaca North Carolina Charlotte J. Douglas Whisenant Richard W. Moffat Wayne L. Gardner Brad R. Hobbs Brazil Porto Alegre South England London South Mexico Guadalajara South North Carolina Raleigh Ren S. Johnson Jeffrey C. Swinton Ross J. Davidson W. Budge Wallis Brazil Salvador South England London Mexico Hermosillo Norway Oslo Getúlio W. J.Silva Clayton F. Foulger Omar Villalobos Lynn J. Poulsen Brazil São Paulo East Florida Tampa Mexico Mexico City South Ohio Cleveland Craig D. Wilkins Clark A. Davis Gary B. Doxey Kenneth V. Peterson Bulgaria Sofia Georgia Atlanta Mexico Monterrey West Oklahoma Tulsa Blair S. Bennett H. Warren Mathusek Ernesto R. Toris Kent M. Seal California Oakland Germany Berlin Mexico Tampico Papua New Guinea Port Moresby James C. Beck K. Günter Borcherding Brian H. Moss Tevita Funaki California San Fernando Greece Athens Micronesia Guam Paraguay Asunción Robert L. Goodrich John Galanos Gary L. Marshall Matthew G. Bradley California San Francisco Haiti Port-Au-Prince Mississippi Jackson Pennsylvania Harrisburg W. James Keller Fouchard Pierre-Nau Parker J. Fuhriman Donald E. Pugh California Santa Rosa Honduras Comayaguela Montana Billings Peru Lima Central Charles C. Stoddard Sergio A. Gómez Craig G. Fisher Jeffrey C. Elmer Cambodia Phnom Penh Hungary Budapest Mozambique Maputo Peru Lima South Robert W. Winegar G. Walter Gasser Blair J. Packard Francisco W. Fierro Canada Calgary Idaho Pocatello Nebraska Omaha Peru Piura Gene F. Priday K. Brent Somers Jan E. Newman Carlos A. Solís Canada Halifax Philippines Bacolod S. Gardner Jacobsen Dany T. Daquioag Canada Winnipeg Philippines Baguio Judd D. Morgan Eleazer S. Collado Cape Verde Praia Ronald C. Tolman

73 Philippines Laoag Texas Houston South Mark L. Lewis Calvin W. Allred Portugal Lisbon Thailand Bangkok Craig B. Terry Karl L. Dodge Portugal Porto Uruguay Montevideo West James F. Henry Lewis C. Bankhead Russia Moscow South Uruguay Montevideo Philip L. Collins Frederick H. Ashby Russia Rostov-na-Donu Utah Ogden Michael A. Harrison Peter L. Joyce Scotland Edinburgh Utah Provo Lynn L. Summerhays Harold C. Brown Singapore Venezuela Barcelona Bryan Skelton Alexander Mestre South Dakota Rapid City Venezuela Maracaibo Joseph S. Cannon Fidel Alberto Coello Spain Barcelona Venezuela Valencia W. Christopher Waddell Abraham E. Quero The new Mexico Cuernavaca Mission was created Spain Bilbao Washington D.C. South by realigning the four missions in Mexico City. Kenneth L. DuVall B. Jackson Wixom Jr. Spain Madrid Washington Spokane 2002, he says opening a mis- Apostles knelt in prayer Brad W. Farnsworth David R. Clark sion will be challenging. But upon the face of Mount Switzerland Geneva West Indies he is excited to serve again. Popocatépetl—a nearly Paul T. Peterson Reid A. Robison The addition of the 18,000-foot active volcano— Taiwan Kaohsiung Zimbabwe Harare Cuernavaca mission also to dedicate the land for the William S. Hsu Andre Bester comes at a special time for preaching of the gospel. Taiwan Taipei members in Mexico, as they Retracing those steps in Norman S. Nielson recently celebrated the two different hikes, about 125th anniversary of the 300 missionaries and more dedication of the country than 200 members com- New Mission Opens; for missionary work. On memorated Elder Thatcher’s April 6, 1881, Elder Moses dedication with a plaque Anniversary Celebrated Thatcher (1842–1909) of placed on Popocatépetl’s reated from missions Though there will be no the Quorum of the Twelve mountainside. ■ in Mexico City, the new increase in the number of CMexico Cuernavaca missionaries serving in the Mission opens in July. The region when the mission Two Temples to Open in 2006 mission boundary begins just opens, the creation of the below the heart of Mexico mission by realigning the wo new temples will be New Temples City and stretches west to the four Mexico City missions dedicated by the end of A statue of the angel Pacific Ocean, taking in 350 will allow for better adminis- T2006—the Sacramento Moroni is already atop the miles (560 km) of coastline. tration of Church affairs in California Temple on Septem- Sacramento California Encompassing the states of one of the largest cities in ber 3 and the Helsinki Finland Temple, a sign of its pending Morelos and Guerrero and the world—home to more Temple on October 22— completion. cities such as Acapulco, than 18 million residents. bringing the number of “We have faith-promoting Ixtapa, and Iguala, it is larger Called to serve as the first operating temples to 124. experiences every day work- geographically than any of president of the mission is Additionally, ground has ing on the temple,” says the four missions from which Wayne Leroy Gardner, along been broken for the Twin Jacob Jensen, the project it was created and reflects the with his wife Teresa. Though Falls Idaho Temple, and superintendent for the growing missionary activity in he previously served as presi- the Papeete Tahiti and Los Sacramento temple. To him, a metropolitan area served by dent of the Chile Santiago Angeles California Temples it is evidence of Heavenly nearly 800 missionaries. East Mission from 2000 to are currently being renovated. Father’s hand in the work.

74 temple was bent by a 1994 Ground Broken earthquake, which reached a While work on these tem- magnitude of 6.7. ples nears completion, work Meanwhile, members in on another has just begun. Tahiti await the time when On April 15, 2006, Elder they can perform ordinances Neil L. Andersen of the and receive blessings again Presidency of the Seventy in the Papeete temple, broke ground for the Twin one of four temples in the Falls Idaho Temple, the sec- Pacific Islands. The temple ond temple in Idaho to was closed for renovations undergo construction during in August 2005. the past year. It will be the As of May 1, no rededica- fourth temple in Idaho, serv- tion dates had been an- ing 40,000 Church members nounced for either temple. from 14 stakes. ■ View Art Competition Winners Online at LDS.org By Brittany Karford, Church Magazines

here is a story behind the Award recipient, the piece rep- An artist’s rendering shows the , tattered-lace Tree of Life, resents not only the heritage which is now under construction. Tnow viewable online at of the Book of Mormon but www.lds.org/museum, along her own heritage as well, trac- The dedication of the house is scheduled from with the rest of the pieces ing back to her youth in Syria. Sacramento temple is set September 23 through from the Seventh International Melva Hindoian-Emrazian, for Sunday, September 3, October 7, culminating with Art Competition exhibit, “Our born in Syria 81 years ago, with the open house sched- a cultural celebration on Heritage of Faith.” learned lace making at age uled from July 29 through October 21. Until then, stake For the artist, a Merit 14 from her mother, who August 26. It will be the presidents have asked all Church’s seventh temple the members to visit the in California. Stockholm Sweden Temple The new Helsinki Finland as often as they can to show Temple is scheduled for dedi- appreciation to the Lord cation in October. “Finnish for blessing Finland with members feel the temple is a temple. a great blessing for such a small nation,” says Ville-Matti Renovations Karumo, Church public affairs In November 2005 the director in Finland. Los Angeles California Temple But it will bless more than closed to undergo renova- just members in Finland, as tions, including a seismic it will be the closest temple overhaul. for members in Eastern “If there’s a big quake, European countries, includ- the building will be fine,” ing Latvia, Lithuania, Estonia, explains John Dietrich, a and northwestern Russia. temple recorder at the Los The dedication will include Angeles Temple. He explains four dedicatory sessions that a crossbeam in the 115- Detail of A Child’s Prayer, by Dan Burr, which received a on October 22. The open foot (35-m) tower on the Purchase Award.

ENSIGN JUNE 2006 75 overtly religious, Brother Davis adds. And yet he favors it. “It shows the flow of life,” he says. Richard G. Oman, senior curator at the museum and a judge in the competition, explains the selection process. “What makes LDS art uni- fied?” Brother Oman asks. “The gospel of Jesus Christ. The challenge we have is to put art in the context it comes Allegory of the Olive Tree, by Brad Teare, received a Purchase Award. from,” he says of the process of placing the style in its learned the craft in an or- out of more than 900 submis- and Liahona magazines to indigenous part of the world. phanage as a child. Sister sions in all—is an honor. touch the lives of members Then comes the second eval- Emrazian now teaches her That’s nearly 200 more throughout the world. uation—how well the artist daughter and granddaughter submissions than the previ- The purchased pieces rep- conveyed the theme. the technique. ous competition. resent a variety of media and For Sister Emrazian, the Members worldwide have Competitions are held subjects. One in particular, a theme “Our Heritage of the opportunity to see her every three years. The still-life oil painting done by Faith” aligned with the teach- award-winning work online, increase in submissions is a Rebecca Wetzel Wagstaff, is ings of her grandfather. even if they do not have milestone in the effort to unique in Brother Davis’s “He had a strong testimony the opportunity to visit the stimulate the production of eyes. “The Church very sel- of the Book of Mormon, and Museum of Church History Latter-day Saint art around dom buys pieces like this,” he he made sure we knew it,” and Art in downtown Salt the world. The competition says, commenting on its con- she says. Her grandfather Lake City, at least for the was initially designed to help tent. The painting, Emblems, joined the Church in Turkey in next few months. develop the museum’s collec- depicts a vase of flowers and 1893, shortly after the first Like the other 25 Merit tion of art but has yielded an various objects, such as two missionaries arrived in the Award recipients announced ever-increasing response each tickets and a picture of the country. “He was eager to at the opening of the exhibit, year. A number of the pieces hanging in share [the gospel] with his Sister Emrazian’s work will be will be featured in the Ensign the background—nothing family,” she says. “When Lehi showcased and then ate the fruit from the tree of returned. Curator life, it was so delicious he Robert Davis explains wanted to share it with his that funds allowed family. With my Tree of Life, I the museum to pay tribute to my family. I like bestow 15 Purchase to keep the heritage alive.” Awards to acquire Elder Marlin K. Jensen of the pieces for the the Seventy, Executive Direc- Church’s permanent tor of the Family and Church collection of art. History Department, thanked Artists and guests the artists at the awards filled the Assembly ceremony. Hall on Temple “This provides a way for Square for the art across the world to show awards ceremony reverence for Heavenly on March 27, 2006. Father and His will,” he said. To have a work included in The Five Wise Virgins, by Louise Parker, received a Purchase “It deepens our appreciation the 235 pieces displayed— Award. of each other.” ■

76 Brother Austin suc- areas where the Church had International Dancers ceeded Sister Jensen as the not yet been recognized,” director of the ensemble— Brother Austin explains. Celebrate 50 Years making him only the second He says the group has director in its 50-year his- an impact on those it or 50 years and in dancing. One traditional tory. He says those first encounters during its more than 50 countries, dance from the Baltic region, worldwide tours not only travels, leaving a distinct Fmembers of the the hopak, has been in the shared in the folklore of the impression of standards Brigham Young University IFDE repertoire for more countries visited but also and faith behind. Brother International Folk Dance than 30 years. helped to introduce the Austin is excited to take Ensemble (IFDE) have “The dance is exciting,” name of the Church in many the ensemble into Estonia, performed as ambassadors says Edwin G. Austin, the places where it wasn’t well Lithuania, and Latvia, where of their school. ensemble’s director. “The known. “Our group had the the Church is still relatively This year, celebrating a movement, the spins—it’s opportunity to travel to small. ■ half century of dance from very acrobatic.” cultures around the world, After taking the hopak to the group will take its per- the Baltic States, the ensem- Celebrating Mormon formance to three countries ble will travel to Quebec, it has never visited before— Canada, in response to a Handcart Company Lithuania, Latvia, and Estonia. private invitation to an At the end of February, the inter-national dance festival. 150 Years ensemble performed a 10-day Brother Austin says the IFDE or those who daylong symposium, festivals, tour in preparation for its is one of the most sought- couldn’t get the word an interfaith devotional, and annual summer traveling after groups in international Fses·qui·cen·ten·ni·al an evening fireside with a schedule. The repertoire this dance. But the purpose of the to roll off the tongue during visiting General Authority. year consists of dances from ensemble’s travel, he says, is the 1997 commemoration of Paul Willie, a descendant 10 different countries. twofold: to help people get the pioneers’ reaching the of Captain James G. Willie, The Baltic States, along acquainted with the Church Salt Lake Valley, another whose company is well with much of Eastern Europe, and to strengthen Church chance to master the word remembered for its late share a rich heritage of folk members in their own comes this year as members start and ill-fated journey, countries. celebrate the thousands of will also speak. The IFDE immigrants who joined the Even those from other started in 1956 Saints by handcart. denominations will take with just a few Celebrations will part in celebrating the histor- couples, under include the Iowa City ical significance of the expe- the direction of Mormon Handcart Trek ditions of the handcart founder Mary Bee Commemoration, taking pioneers. A song to be per- Jensen. In 1964 place where it all began 150 formed at the weekend’s Sister Jensen years ago—Iowa City, Iowa. interfaith devotional was accompanied the Here, where the westward composed by Jon Spong, a ensemble on its railroad ended, 3,000 men, Methodist. The words were first international women, and children written by Loren Horton, a tour—mortgaging embarked on a 1,300-mile senior historian emeritus of her home to have journey across prairie, desert, the State Historical Society of the funds to do river, and mountain, pushing Iowa. He and his wife, Carol, so. It was the and pulling what few belong- who will sing the song in the first group of per- ings they had in handcarts. devotional, are Episcopalian. forming students Taking place on June 9 In that Sunday devotional, Brigham Young University’s from BYU to tour internation- to 11, the commemoration a Methodist, Unitarian, and International Folk Dance ally. Today 30 of the ensem- honors the departure of the Episcopalian, along with Iowa Ensemble celebrates its 50th ble’s 180 members are on the first Mormon handcart com- City stake president Andrew anniversary in June 2006. touring team. pany on June 9, 1856, with a Hall, will each speak to the

ENSIGN JUNE 2006 77 interfaith gathering, which is Fred Woods, current families, and teachers.” available at distribution representative of the various chair for religious under- Sold individually for U.S. centers. It is available only denominations that were standing at Brigham Young $6.00 each (item no. 54116), in English since many of the present in Iowa City in 1856. University and the executive or U.S. $4.25 each when a individual videos were not “It’s always a delightful director of the Mormon case of 38 is ordered, the translated into other thing to be able to have dif- Historic Sites Foundation, Church History DVD set is languages. ■ ferent background and helped to forge the union beliefs working together,” of denominations for the Mr. Horton says. “This is a event. New ASL Products Available natural opportunity for that “We want to emphasize ASL Book of Mormon the touch of a button, and to happen.” the common ground which Released on DVD members with iPod technol- Mr. Horton will speak in we all walk upon as we he American Sign ogy or portable DVD players the Friday symposium on journey through life,” Language Book of can take the ASL Book of the setting in Iowa in 1856, he says. TMormon is now available Mormon with them anywhere. remarking on the social and The Cedar Rapids Iowa in DVD format, making it eas- This full-translation format for economic impact of LDS Stake, Davenport Iowa ier for the deaf community to ASL scripture appears to be handcart pioneers. Iowa Stake, Des Moines Iowa study the scriptures. the first of its kind. City’s population at that Mission, Des Moines Iowa A common misconception “No scripture has ever time stood at 6,316. The fol- Stake, Iowa City Iowa Stake, is that the deaf community been done like this as a true lowing year brought 2,340 and Nauvoo Illinois Mission can simply read material the translation—even the Bible,” immigrants. This influx of will all take an active part in same as English speakers, but Brother Hind says, adding that Mormon settlers, who had the three-day event, but because English and ASL are the Doctrine and Covenants faced persecution else- Brother Woods emphasizes structured differently, many and the Pearl of Great Price where, found a safe harbor that members worldwide of those who are deaf cannot are currently being translated. in Iowa City, where, Mr. can take part by honoring read the Book of Mormon. Horton says, members of the pioneers’ sacrifice. “With the Church provid- Monthly Messages other denominations often “The best way that Latter- ing the Book of Mormon in Now Available in ASL helped the Saints build day Saints can revere our their language, deaf members The First Presidency and handcarts and prepare rich pioneer ancestry is to can comprehend it just as Visiting Teaching Messages for their journey. live a faithful life,” he says. ■ you and I,” says Doug Hind, are debuting in American Sign a special curriculum specialist Language (ASL) at LDS.org in the Church Curriculum this year. The messages will New Collection of Church Department. be available each month on It also means no more a new ASL page at lds.org/asl. History Videos Now on DVD lugging around a bag of 17 General conference and n exciting new DVD One segment, LDS Leaders of VHS tapes and no more cuing First Presidency Christmas compilation of Church the Past, includes black-and- to select scriptures. Devotional files will also be A history videos, includ- white footage from the first The DVD boxed set con- available on the page. ing footage many members half of the twentieth century. tains 17 DVDs, containing a Previously many members have never seen before, is The set contains 7 hours higher quality version of the who are deaf or hearing- now available for purchase. and 48 minutes of Church same footage on 17 VHS impaired could read the This DVD set, titled Church history videos and is packaged tapes. The DVD collection is messages only in print, which History, is part of the Home with a booklet that includes $2.50 a set. While the footage involved comprehending text and Family Collection in- ideas and questions for may be the same, the most and a verbal language on top tended to enrich instruction discussion. important feature of the DVDs of their primary visual form and learning in the home. “It’s not just a collection is the ability to search the of communication. But the The set includes three of videos,” says Robb Jones, scriptures by every 10 verses. grammatical and conceptual DVDs containing 29 videos development designer for Previously, finding a specific makeup of ASL is significantly that take viewers on a visual the Church Curriculum scripture was difficult for the different from any spoken journey through a century and Department. “We designed deaf—they just had to fast- language. a half of Church history. Many it to be a teaching and forward and guess. Now they The First Presidency and of the segments are quite rare. learning tool for individuals, can navigate the scriptures at Visiting Teaching Messages in

78 ASL are not the only recent in ASL for the first time. milestone for the ASL com- The First Presidency munity in the Church. Just Messages and Visiting Call for Articles months ago, the worldwide Teaching Messages are f you have had experi- submission “Community leadership training meeting published in more than ence with the following Service,” and at the top of was broadcast over satellite 50 languages worldwide. ■ Isituation, we invite you your submission, write your to share your suggestions: name, address, telephone wondered if the Church had I would like to get number, e-mail address, and Comment such a program, and my involved in community ward and stake (or branch Hope and Comfort prayers were answered with service, but I don’t have and district). I have received and con- this article. much free time, and I’m While we cannot tinue to receive so much I have been incarcerated not sure how to get started. acknowledge receipt of hope and comfort from the for two years now and am the What should I do? individual responses, beautiful message “Put Your only member of the Church at Please send your submis- authors whose submis- Trust in God” by President this facility. The Ensign has sion (500 words or less) by sions are selected for pub- been my major contact July 14, 2006, to ensign@ lication will be notified. If with the Church for most ldschurch.org or to Ensign you would like your manu- of that time. I look forward Editorial, 50 East North script returned, enclose a each month to its arrival Temple Street, Salt Lake self-addressed, stamped and the messages of hope City, Utah 84150-3220, envelope and allow up to and faith it brings with it. I USA. Clearly mark your a year. ■ especially treasure each of the conference issues for the messages from the March 12 happiness. I felt guilty to First Presidency and other The April 2006 Ensign has be so blessed with an LDS General Authorities. Thank changed March 12 for me. In upbringing, the opportunity you so much for the light 2003, March 12 was the day I to serve a mission, and a tem- and faith it brings with it returned home from serving ple marriage to a wonderful each month into this often as a missionary in Taiwan. I husband. How could I cele- Gordon B. Hinckley in the dark and dreary place. wanted to celebrate March 12 brate my blessings now? February 2006 issue. I have Name Withheld every year in ways to thank Nancy May’s article shared it with others who are my Heavenly Father and my “Our Journey to the Temple” struggling with adversity. Comfort from the Savior for allowing me to (April 2006) helped me feel Last March I was diag- Proclamation serve Them in that way. that I can still find joy in nosed with a rare, incurable I appreciated E. Jeffrey Hill’s Then on March 12, 2004, the blessings God has type of cancer, and I felt we article “The Proclamation: A my best friend from high bestowed on me—both were traveling in a “terrible Guide, a Comfort, and an school took her own life. before and after every wilderness.” Every source of Inspiration” in April’s Ensign. Suddenly March 12 became a March 12 of my life. encouragement and hope has I related fully to the article. day on which I could find no Sarah Smith, Colorado been necessary in this inter- Many memorized scriptures esting time. Thank you for have filled my mind with com- that welcome message by fort and understanding at vari- President Hinckley. ous times in my life, but Dawne I. Gibson, Michigan particularly since the death of my husband. I appreciate the An Often-Forgotten honesty given to an emotional Population subject and the message of I was excited to see in the hope, that we truly do have a February 2006 Ensign the loving Heavenly Father who is article “Church Programs aware of us individually. Thank Assist Often-Forgotten you for an insightful article, Population.” I have often Tammy Mulford, Utah

ENSIGN JUNE 2006 79 MAKING THE MOST Inspiring Experiences Can the Spirit warn us OF THIS ISSUE in times of personal danger? JUNE 2006 When faced with a serious FAMILY HOME EVENING FUN we counsel you to channel your associations with the Family Home Evening opposite sex into dating pat- doesn’t have to be for- terns that have the potential mal and stiff. This arti- to mature into marriage, not cle shows how having hanging out patterns that only fun together can have the prospect to mature make a great family into team sports like touch home evening. See football.” To read more of page 27. Elder Oaks’s counsel, see Faithe, Hope, and Elijah, p. 45 THE BLESSINGS page 10. OF ADOPTION health concern, have you HE SAYS, SHE SAYS “Although I did not fully turned to the Savior for comprehend the complexi- Nervous about dating? comfort? For stories of these The Prophet Trying to date more and of the Restoration ties of the decision she had and other inspiring experi- NEW MOVIE made,” writes Eve Burch, “I hang out less? Single Church ences, see pages 45, 50, and ABOUT JOSEPH SMITH was incredibly grateful that members share ideas that 65–68. In December 2005, my birth mother had chosen have helped their dating 200 years after Joseph to give me something she experiences go more Home, Visiting Teaching Smith’s birth, a new movie could not provide herself.” smoothly. See page 17. For this month’s mes- about the Prophet’s life sages, see pages 2 and 61. Meeting her many years later Charity and Friendship opened in many Church was a great blessing for two AN EXPERIMENT visitors’ centers around the lives. See page 58. WITH FRIENDSHIP world. To view scenes from A student in Karen Case GOSPEL TOPICS DIVIDING THE ESTATE WITH- the movie and read a descrip- OUT DIVIDING THE FAMILY Ho-Ching’s school class was Activation, 67 Marriage, 53, 82, 88 Adoption, 58 Marriage tion of how it was produced, If you had to divide up constantly disruptive—until Agency, 48 Preparation, see page 40. class members had an idea. Charity, 61 10, 17 your parents’ estate, could Children, 8, 88, 93 Media, 40 PROFILE OF A PROPHET you do it in a way that would To read about the startling Comfort, 66 Modesty, 22 change their “experiment” In this Gospel Classic, satisfy everyone in the family? Compassion, 8 Music, 7 created, see page 8. Conversion, 67 Neighborliness, President Hugh B. Brown For some basic guidelines Covenants, 82 70 (1883–1975) describes a that can help preserve har- Does Modesty Matter? Dating, 10, 17 Nutrition, 70 Faith, 48 Obedience, 2, 22, memorable conversation mony at such a difficult time, Is modesty in dress a prob- Families, 27, 88, 93 56, 65 he had with a justice of the see page 62. lem in your family or for Family, 71 Old Testament, Family History, 50, 30, 56 Supreme Court of England For Singles someone you know? To read 68 Overcoming about the Prophet Joseph DATING VERSUS HANGING OUT how many Church members Family Home Adversity, 45 have succeeded in dressing Evening, 27, 71 Parenthood, 70, 93 Smith. Afterward the distin- Elder Dallin H. Family Relation- Peace, 66 guished gentleman asked Oaks of the Quorum modestly and teaching mod- ships, 62 Prayer, 22, 98 pointedly, “Do you appreciate esty in the family, Finances, 62 Premortal Life, 48 of the Twelve Friendship, 8, Priesthood the import of what you say?” Apostles said: “My ward, or stake, 30, 71 Blessings, 45 See page 34. single young friends, see page 22. Gratitude, 71 Prophets, 34 Grieving, 62 Protection, 65 For Families Health, 70 Restoration, 34, 40 SIX WAYS TO KEEP Six Ways to Keep Holy Ghost, 2, 22, Sacrifice, 56 YOUR MARRIAGE STRONG Your Marriage 65, 66 Satan, 48 Strong, p. 53 Home Teaching, Scripture Study, 2 Marriage can be like a 67 Self-Respect, 22, yo-yo with its ups and downs. Homes, 98 30 Hope, 45 Service, 61, 88, 98 For some good suggestions on Inspiration, 50 Singles, 10, 17 avoiding the downs and keep- Jesus Christ, 48 Teaching, 8 ing your marriage strong, see Joseph Smith, 34, Temples, 68 40 Testimony, 2 page 53. Love, 58, 82, 98 Togetherness, 27

80 Worldwide Leadership Training Meeting Supporting the Family

FEBRUARY 11, 2006

The proceedings of the worldwide leadership training meeting are included in the June 2006 Liahona and Ensign and at www.lds.org for members to use in their families and in teaching.

THE CHURCH OF JESUS CHRIST OF LATTER-DAY SAINTS becoming much better than you probably recognize. Marriage Is I invite you to keep in mind the following questions as we discuss principles related to eternal marriage. Essential to His Question 1: In my own life, am I striving to become a better husband or a wife, or preparing to be a hus- Eternal Plan band or a wife, by understanding and applying these basic principles? ELDER DAVID A. BEDNAR Question 2: As a priesthood or Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles auxiliary leader, am I helping those I serve to understand and apply these family and generally are successful at basic principles, thereby strengthen- doing so, we should always remember ing marriage and the home? this basic truth: no instrumentality As we prayerfully ponder these or organization can take the place questions and consider our own mar- BE COPIED NOT MAY ROBERT CASEY, NG AND WEDDING RINGS BY of the home or perform its essential riage relationships and our responsi- functions.1 Consequently, today I will bilities in the Church, I testify the speak with you primarily as men and Spirit of the Lord will enlighten our women, as husbands and wives, and minds and teach us the things we as mothers and fathers and secondar- need to do and to improve (see ily as priesthood and auxiliary leaders John 14:26). in the Church. My assignment is to discuss the essential role of eternal Why Marriage Is Essential marriage in our Heavenly Father’s In “The Family: A Proclamation plan of happiness. to the World,” the First Presidency The Doctrinal Ideal of Marriage We will focus on the doctrinal and Council of the Twelve Apostles e have been counseled ideal of marriage. My hope is that a proclaim “that marriage between a strongly by the First review of our eternal possibilities man and a woman is ordained of God WPresidency to devote our and a reminder about who we are and that the family is central to the best efforts to the strengthening of and why we are here in mortality will Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny marriage and the home. Such instruc- provide direction, comfort, and sus- of His children.”2 This keynote sen- tion has never been more needed taining hope for us all, regardless tence of the proclamation teaches us in the world than it is today, as the of our marital status or personal much about the doctrinal significance sanctity of marriage is attacked and present circumstances. The disparity of marriage and emphasizes the pri- the importance of the home is between the doctrinal ideal of mar- macy of marriage and family in the undermined. riage and the reality of daily life Father’s plan. Righteous marriage is a Even though the Church and its may seem at times to be quite large, commandment and an essential step

programs support marriage and but you gradually are doing and in the process of creating a loving OF COUPLE ON SWI PHOTOGRAPH AS NOTED; EXCEPT WELDEN C. ANDERSEN AND JOHN LUKE, BY CRAIG DIMOND; PHOTOGRAPHY BY PHOTOGRAPH COVER

82 family relationship that can be After the earth was cre- perpetuated beyond the grave. ated, Adam was placed Two compelling doctrinal rea- in the Garden of Eden. sons help us to understand why Importantly, however, eternal marriage is essential to the and destiny.”3 The God said it was “not good Father’s plan. great plan of happiness that the man should be alone” Reason 1: The natures of male enables the spirit sons and daugh- (Genesis 2:18; Moses 3:18), and Eve and female spirits complete and per- ters of Heavenly Father to obtain became Adam’s companion and help- fect each other, and therefore men physical bodies, to gain earthly meet. The unique combination of and women are intended to progress experience, and to progress toward spiritual, physical, mental, and emo- together toward exaltation. perfection. tional capacities of both males and The eternal nature and impor- “Gender is an essential characteris- females were needed to implement tance of marriage can be fully under- tic of individual premortal, mortal, and the plan of happiness. Alone, neither stood only within the overarching eternal identity and purpose” 4 and in the man nor the woman could fulfill context of the Father’s plan for His large measure defines who we are, the purposes of his or her creation. children. “All human beings—male why we are here upon the earth, and By divine design, men and women and female—are created in the what we are to do and become. For are intended to progress together image of God. Each is a beloved divine purposes, male and female toward perfection and a fulness of spirit son or daughter of heavenly spirits are different, distinctive, and glory. Because of their distinctive parents, and . . . has a divine nature complementary. temperaments and capacities, males

ENSIGN JUNE 2006 83 and females each bring to a marriage spiritual and physical needs of children Principle 1: The importance of relationship unique perspectives and can be met. Just as the unique charac- eternal marriage can be understood experiences. The man and the woman teristics of both males and females only within the context of the Father’s contribute differently but equally contribute to the completeness of a plan of happiness. to a oneness and a unity that can be marriage relationship, so those same We frequently speak about and achieved in no other way. The man characteristics are vital to the rearing, highlight marriage as a fundamental completes and perfects the woman nurturing, and unit of society, as the foundation of a and the woman completes and per- teaching of chil- strong nation, and as a vital sociologi- fects the man as they learn from and dren. “Children cal and cultural institution. But the mutually strengthen and bless each restored gospel helps us to under- other. “Neither is the man without stand that it is so much more! the woman, neither the woman Do we perhaps talk about marriage without the man, in the Lord” without adequately teaching the im- (1 Corinthians 11:11; italics added). portance of marriage in the Father’s Reason 2: By divine design, both plan? Emphasizing marriage without a man and a woman are needed to linking it to the simple and fundamen- bring children into mortality and tal doctrine of the plan of happiness to provide the best setting for the cannot provide sufficient direction, rearing and nurturing of children. protection, or hope in a world that The commandment given anciently grows increasingly confused and to Adam and Eve to multiply and Elder Parley P. Pratt expressed wicked. We would all do well to re- replenish the earth remains in force beautifully the blessings that come member the teaching of Alma—that today. “God has commanded that as we learn about, understand, “God gave unto [the children of men] the sacred powers of procreation are and strive to apply the doctrinal commandments, after having made to be employed only between man ideal of marriage. known unto them the plan of redemp- and woman, lawfully wedded as tion” (Alma 12:32; italics added). husband and wife. . . . The means are entitled to birth within the bonds Elder Parley P. Pratt expressed by which mortal life is created [are] of matrimony, and to be reared by a beautifully the blessings that come to divinely appointed.”5 Thus, marriage father and a mother who honor mari- us as we learn about, understand, and between a man and a woman is the tal vows with complete fidelity.”6 strive to apply in our lives the doctri- authorized channel through which nal ideal of marriage: premortal spirits enter mortality. Guiding Principles “It was Joseph Smith who taught Complete sexual abstinence before The two doctrinal reasons we me how to prize the endearing rela- marriage and total fidelity within have reviewed about the importance tionships of father and mother, hus- marriage protect the sanctity of this of eternal marriage in the Father’s band and wife; of brother and sister, sacred channel. plan of happiness suggest guiding son and daughter. A home with a loving and loyal hus- principles for those who are pre- “It was from him that I learned band and wife is the supreme setting paring to marry, for those who are that the wife of my bosom might be in which children can be reared in love married, and for our service in the secured to me for time and all eter- and righteousness and in which the Church. nity; and that the refined sympathies

84 plan of happiness. The adversary’s attacks upon eternal marriage will continue to increase in intensity, frequency, and sophistication. Because today we are engaged in a war for the welfare of marriage and the home, in my latest reading of the Book of Mormon I paid particular attention to the ways the Nephites prepared for their battles against the Lamanites. I noted that the people of Nephi “were aware of the intent of [their enemy], and therefore they did prepare to meet them” (Alma 2:12; italics added). As I read and studied, I and affections which endeared us to uncertainties that may cause some learned that understanding the intent each other emanated from the foun- individuals to delay or avoid marriage. of an enemy is a key prerequisite to tain of divine eternal love. . . . A correct understanding of the plan effective preparation. We likewise “I had loved before, but I knew also strengthens our resolve to stead- should consider the intent of our not why. But now I loved—with a fastly honor the covenant of eternal enemy in this latter-day war. pureness—an intensity of elevated, marriage. Our individual learning, our The Father’s plan is designed to exalted feeling, which would lift my teaching, and our testifying in both provide direction for His children, to soul from the transitory things of this the home and at church will be mag- help them become happy, and to bring grovelling sphere and expand it as nified as we ponder and more fully them safely home to Him. Lucifer’s the ocean. . . . In short, I could now understand this truth. attacks on the plan are intended to love with the spirit and with the Principle 2: Satan desires that all make the sons and daughters of God understanding also. men and women might be miserable confused and unhappy and to halt “Yet, at that time, my dearly beloved like unto himself. their eternal progression. The over- brother, Joseph Smith, had . . . merely Lucifer relentlessly assails and dis- arching intent of the father of lies is lifted a corner of the veil and given me torts the doctrines that matter most that all of us would become “miserable a single glance into eternity.”7 to us individually, to our families, and like unto himself” (2 Nephi 2:27), and As men and women, as husbands to the world. Where is the adversary he works to warp the elements of the and wives, and as Church leaders, can focusing his most direct and diaboli- Father’s plan he hates the most. Satan we see how the importance of eternal cal attacks? Satan works unremittingly does not have a body, he cannot marry, marriage can be understood only to confuse understanding about gen- and he will not have a family. And he within the context of the Father’s plan der, to promote the premature and persistently strives to confuse the of happiness? The doctrine of the plan unrighteous use of procreative power, divinely appointed purposes of gen- leads men and women to hope and and to hinder righteous marriage pre- der, marriage, and family. Throughout prepare for eternal marriage, and it cisely because marriage is ordained the world, we see growing evidence of

PHOTOGRAPHY OF FLOWER AND FAMILY BY STEVE BUNDERSON, MAY NOT BE COPIED; PHOTOGRAPH OF PARLEY P. PRATT MAY NOT BE COPIED NOT MAY PRATT P. OF PARLEY BE COPIED; PHOTOGRAPH NOT MAY STEVE BUNDERSON, BY AND FAMILY OF FLOWER PHOTOGRAPHY defeats the fears and overcomes the of God and the family is central to the the effectiveness of Satan’s efforts.

ENSIGN JUNE 2006 85 More recently the devil has the woman come closer together. made the comfort and convenience attempted to combine and legally As a husband and wife are each of our eternal companion our highest validate confusion about gender and drawn to the Lord (see 3 Nephi 27:14), priority, then they will become less marriage. As we look beyond mortal- as they learn to serve and cherish one self-centered and more able to give, ity and into eternity, it is easy to dis- another, as they share life experiences to serve, and to create an equal and cern that the counterfeit alternatives and grow together and become one, enduring companionship. As young the adversary advocates can never and as they are blessed through the women and men perceive mutual lead to the completeness that is made uniting of their distinctive natures, respect, affection, trust, and love possible through the sealing together they begin to realize the fulfillment between a husband and a wife, then of a man and a woman, to the happi- that our Heavenly Father desires for they will strive to cultivate the same ness of righteous marriage, to the His children. Ultimate happiness, characteristics in their lives. Our chil- joy of posterity, or to the blessing of which is the very object of the Father’s dren and the youth of the Church will eternal progression. learn the most from what we do and Given what we know about our what we are—even if they remember enemy’s intent, each of us should relatively little of what we say. be especially vigilant in seeking per- Unfortunately many young mem- sonal inspiration as to how we can pro- bers of the Church today are fearful of tect and safeguard our own marriages and stumble in their progress toward —and how we can learn and teach cor- eternal marriage because they have rect principles in the home and in our seen too much of divorce in the Church assignments about the eternal Husband and wife draw closer world and of broken covenants in significance of gender and of the role together as they individually and their homes and in the Church. of marriage in the Father’s plan. steadily come unto Christ. Eternal marriage is not merely a Principle 3: The ultimate blessings temporary legal contract that can be of love and happiness are obtained plan, is received through the making terminated at any time for almost any through the covenant relationship of and honoring of eternal marriage reason. Rather, it is a sacred covenant eternal marriage. covenants. with God that can be binding in The Lord Jesus Christ is the focal As men and women, as husbands time and throughout all eternity. point in a covenant marriage relation- and wives, and as Church leaders, one Faithfulness and fidelity in marriage ship. Please notice how the Savior is of our paramount responsibilities is must not simply be attractive words positioned at the apex of this triangle, to help young men and women learn spoken in sermons; rather, they with a woman at the base of one cor- about and prepare for righteous mar- should be principles evident in our ner and a man at the base of the other riage through our personal example. own covenant marriage relationships. corner. Now consider what happens As young women and men observe As we consider the importance of in the relationship between the man worthiness, loyalty, sacrifice, and the our personal example, do you and I

and the woman as they individually honoring of covenants in our mar- discern areas where we need to BE COPIED NOT MAY DEREK ISRAELSEN, BY BE COPIED; PHOTOGRAPH NOT MAY DEL PARSON, BY and steadily “come unto Christ” riages, then those youth will seek to improve? Is the Holy Ghost inspiring

and strive to be “perfected in Him” emulate the same principles in their our minds and softening our hearts HE IS RISEN, (Moroni 10:32). Because of and courting and marriage relationships. and encouraging us to do and to

through the Redeemer, the man and As young people notice that we have become better? As priesthood and FROM DETAIL

86 auxiliary leaders, are we focusing our efforts on strengthening marriage and the home? Husbands and wives need time together to fortify themselves and their homes against the attacks of the adversary. As we strive to magnify our callings in the Church, are we un- intentionally hindering husbands and wives and mothers and fathers from fulfilling their sacred responsibilities in the home? For example, do we sometimes schedule unnecessary meetings and activities in a way that interferes with the essential relation- ship between a husband and a wife One of our paramount responsibilities is to help young men and women learn and their relationships with children? about and prepare for righteous marriage through our personal example. As we sincerely ponder these ques- tions, I am confident the Spirit is even how effectively we were attending to power of the word of God. And we now helping and will continue to help all of our important priorities. We real- have The Church of Jesus Christ of each of us learn the things we should ized that we would not receive the Latter-day Saints. do at home and in the Church. promised blessings in eternity if we did I testify that we have been blessed not honor more fully the covenant we with all of the spiritual resources we The Spiritual Resources We Need had made in mortality. We resolved to- need to learn about, to teach, to Our responsibilities to learn and gether to do and to be better as a hus- strengthen, and to defend righteous understand the doctrine of the plan, band and a wife. That lesson learned marriage—and that indeed we can live to uphold and be examples of righ- so many years ago has made a tremen- together in happiness as husbands and teous marriage, and to teach correct dous difference in our marriage. wives and families in eternity. In the principles in the home and at church The sweet and simple doctrine sacred name of Jesus Christ, amen. ■ may cause us to wonder if we are of the plan of happiness provides NOTES equal to the task. We are ordinary precious eternal perspective and helps 1. See First Presidency letter, Feb. 11, 1999; or Liahona, Dec. 1999, 1; Ensign, people who must accomplish a most us understand the importance of eter- June 1999, 80. extraordinary work. nal marriage. We have been blessed 2. “The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” Liahona, Oct. 2004, 49; or Ensign, Nov. Many years ago, Sister Bednar and with all of the spiritual resources we 1995, 102. 3. Liahona, Oct. 2004, 49; or Ensign, Nov. I were busy trying to meet the count- need. We have the fulness of the doc- 1995, 102. less competing demands of a young trine of Jesus Christ. We have the Holy 4. Liahona, Oct. 2004, 49; or Ensign, Nov. 1995, 102. and energetic family—and of Church, Ghost and revelation. We have saving 5. Liahona, Oct. 2004, 49; or Ensign, Nov. 1995, 102. career, and community responsibil- ordinances, covenants, and temples. 6. Liahona, Oct. 2004, 49; or Ensign, Nov. ities. One evening after the children We have priesthood and prophets. 1995, 102. 7. Autobiography of Parley P. Pratt, ed. were asleep, we talked at length about We have the holy scriptures and the Parley P. Pratt Jr. (1938), 297–98.

ENSIGN JUNE 2006 87 “Being inspired of the Holy Ghost to lay the foundation thereof, and to A Solemn build it up unto the most holy faith. . . . “Wherefore, meaning the church, thou shalt give heed unto all his words Responsibility and commandments which he shall give unto you as he receiveth them, walking in all holiness before me; to Love and Care “For his word ye shall receive, as if from mine own mouth, in all patience and faith” (D&C 21:1–2, 4–5). for Each Other Among the first instructions given to this newly organized Church was to ELDER L. TOM PERRY follow the inspiration and revelation Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles that comes from the Lord, through His prophet, in fulfilling our responsibil- other training meetings. I will not ities to build His kingdom. He has quote much from handbooks; instead, promised to direct us in the course I want to talk to you heart to heart that should be ours to carry on this about your service in our Father in great work. Heaven’s kingdom. The purpose will be to see if together we can better The Prophet’s Counsel understand how to balance our I think President Gordon B. responsibilities to love and care for Hinckley, our prophet today, gave us our families with the other special the key to balance our responsibilities callings our Father in Heaven has in an earlier worldwide leadership given to us. training meeting, held on June 21, As the Church was being organized 2003. In that broadcast he stated: on April 6, 1830, the Prophet Joseph “Yours . . . is the privilege of stand- Smith received a revelation that is now ing in the shadow of the Redeemer Balancing Our Responsibilities recorded in the 21st section of the of the world as we carry forward this he subject I have been Doctrine and Covenants. A portion work. Yours is the opportunity to assigned is the following sen- of the revelation reads: speak of the beauty of the atoning T tence from the proclamation “Behold, there shall be a record blood of the Lord Jesus Christ in on the family: “Husband and wife kept among you; and in it thou behalf of His sons and daughters. have a solemn responsibility to love shalt be called a seer, a translator, Could there be a greater privilege and care for each other and for their a prophet, an apostle of Jesus Christ, than this? children.”1 I want to approach this an elder of the church through the “Rejoice in the privilege which is subject in a very different manner will of God the Father, and the grace yours. Your opportunity will not last than you might be familiar with in of your Lord Jesus Christ, forever. Too soon there will be only

88 In all periods of history, God has given His divine law to safeguard and protect the holy union between husband and wife.

the memory of the great experience though he serve the Church faith- Your Eternal Companion you are now having. fully and lose his own family?’ (see Begin by discussing with your “None of us will accomplish all Mark 8:36).”3 eternal companion how much time we might wish to. But let us do the This has been a continuing mes- you need together to strengthen best we can. I am satisfied that the sage from our prophets since the your marriage, to demonstrate the Redeemer will then say, ‘Well done, early days of the organization of the love you have for each other. That is thou good and faithful servant’ Church. The most important place your first priority. (Matthew 25:21).”2 for gospel teaching and leadership The Church is to help individuals As you remember, in that broadcast is in the family and in the home. If and families come unto Christ and he explained our fourfold responsi- we follow these instructions, we obtain eternal life. Eternal life is bility. The first applies to the subject will give assignments and plan pro- God’s greatest gift to His children, we are addressing in this broadcast. grams, activities, and classes which and it is obtained only through a He stated: will complement and support our family relationship. This relationship “First, it is imperative that you not families. must start with the union between neglect your families. Nothing you husband and wife, which is sacred to have is more precious. Your wives Establishing Proper Priorities the Lord and is something not to be and your children are deserving of How we use our time and keep trifled with. The marriage covenant the attention of their husbands and our lives in balance is fundamental is essential for the Lord’s plan and is fathers. When all is said and done, to how we will perform our family the purpose for which He created the it is this family relationship which duties and our Church service. heavens and the earth. In all periods we will take with us into the life be- Discipline yourself to follow the of history, He has given His divine yond. To paraphrase the words of prophet’s counsel on how you law to safeguard and protect the holy

PHOTOGRAPH BY ROBERT CASEY, MAY NOT BE COPIED NOT MAY ROBERT CASEY, BY PHOTOGRAPH scripture, ‘What shall it profit a man prioritize the use of your time. union between husband and wife.

ENSIGN JUNE 2006 89 The most important instruction children will ever receive should come from their parents.

Your Children maintained on principles of faith, Providing for Your Family Second, consider the spiritual prayer, repentance, forgiveness, Our third priority is to provide needs of your children. How much respect, love, compassion, work, and for our family units. Again from the time is necessary to be certain you wholesome recreational activities.”4 proclamation on the family: are being close to them? It is your The pamphlet continues: “By divine design, fathers are to responsibility as fathers and mothers “Being part of a family is a great preside over their families in love to provide adequate time to teach blessing. Your family can provide you and righteousness and are responsi- them, for the most important in- with companionship and happiness, ble to provide the necessities of life 6 struction children will ever receive help you learn correct principles in a and protection for their families.” © PHOTOSPIN OF WAGON PHOTOGRAPH SOLETA; DANNY OF WOMEN BY PHOTOGRAPH DEL PARSON; BY should come from their parents. We loving atmosphere, and help you pre- We need to maintain good skills need to be familiar with what the pare for eternal life. Not all families to be gainfully employed. In a chang-

Church is teaching our children so are the same, but each is important ing world, we must keep up-to-date, AMERICAN PROPHET, that we can be in harmony with that in Heavenly Father’s plan. or our skills will become obsolete. teaching in our instructions to each “Do your part to build a happy Even though we are busy in Church child. For example, the pamphlet home. Be cheerful, helpful, and con- assignments, we should not pass up For the Strength of Youth, quoting siderate of others. Many problems in opportunities to increase our devel- the proclamation on the family, gives the home are created because family opment and improve the welfare of young people this counsel about members speak and act selfishly or our families. This requires that we families: unkindly. Concern yourself with the invest adequate time and thought to “Happiness in family life is most needs of other family members. Seek preparing for the future. likely to be achieved when founded to be a peacemaker rather than to This counsel applies to the sisters upon the teachings of the Lord tease, fight, and quarrel. Remember as well as the brethren. Although the Jesus Christ. Successful marriages that the family is the most sacred unit responsibility to provide for the fam- 5 and families are established and of the Church.” ily belongs primarily to fathers, the BE COPIED; NOT MAY AS NOTED, EXCEPT STEVE BUNDERSON, BY PHOTOGRAPHY

90 proclamation indicates that “disabil- service with their family family in activities with- ity, death, or other circumstances”7 responsibilities. out diminishing his own may also require you sisters to use productivity. and develop your skills to provide Involving Family Members Much of his service as for your families. There are ways to increase our a bishop occurred during the Great association with our families while Depression in the 1930s. Many of our Church Service we serve in our Church callings by ward members were in desperate Fourth in our priority is our com- involving our families, when appro- need. As the bishop, he had the mitment to the time we spend in priate, in our Church service. Let me responsibility of supplying the means Church activities. Active Latter-day give you one personal example. to sustain their lives. This seemed to Saint families value their Church time My father served as my bishop dur- be a good activity for a bishop, his and make choices in their family life ing the early years of my life. He was a son, and the little red wagon. to make room for it. busy man with a demanding legal prac- I would come home from school Leaders need to be especially sen- tice. He was also active in civic affairs and find stacks on the side of the sitive to different family situations and in demand as a public speaker. garage—flour, sugar, wheat, and other when they extend calls and create And, of course, he was the father of six commodities. I knew that that evening expectations. Families with young children. I was always grateful that my my father and I would have the oppor- children where both parents have father had his priorities right. Mother tunity of being together. demanding calls that take them out was always his first priority. It was evi- When he would arrive home, the of the home are the most likely to feel dent by the way he treated her. This little red wagon was loaded with sup- that Church activities interfere with was followed by a real dedication to plies to take to a family. The two of us, their family life. Church leaders can each of his children. walking and talking together, would help by acknowledging and validating When I was about six years old, I complete our welfare assignment by members’ efforts to balance Church received a red wagon as a Christmas delivering the commodities to those gift. It was exactly like this one in in need. We can increase our association with miniature. The little red I was able to witness firsthand the our families while we serve in Church wagon provided a real love and care a good priesthood leader callings. bond between my had for his ward members. More im- father and me. In portant, I had an opportunity of his busy life, he spending precious time with my father. had to find ways of involving his Focusing on Basic Priorities Let me encourage you to do what we taught you in the first worldwide leadership training meeting. We remind you that all units of the Church are at different stages of development, and all units have dif- ferent needs. When we are planning our Church programs, the families

ENSIGN JUNE 2006 91 must be taken into consideration. Church is to assist families “The home is the best Again, we caution you not to bur- in obtaining salvation and place to teach, learn, and den your membership with more than exaltation in the eternal apply gospel principles.”8 one Church calling, plus home teach- kingdom of heaven. Again, we encourage ing and visiting teaching. Discipline you to refer to this booklet’s helpful yourself to stick to the basic priorities, The Family Guidebook teachings. and you will be surprised how the Several years ago we published a inspiration of the Lord will direct you special Family Guidebook. It was The Savior’s Example as you carry on your responsibilities to for the use of members, especially Our Lord and Savior ministered be a servant in His kingdom. those who are new converts or have personally to the people, lifting the The ultimate focus of the restored limited Church experience. We en- downtrodden, giving hope to the dis- Church is to facilitate and bring about courage you to use it. It begins with couraged, and seeking out the lost. opportunities for us to assist the Lord a statement: By His words and actions, He showed in His work to bring to pass the “The family is the basic unit of The the people that He loved and under- immortality and eternal life of man. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day stood and appreciated them. He rec- We do this primarily by strengthening Saints and the most important social ognized the divine nature and eternal families. In an age of moral decline, unit in time and eternity. God has worth of each individual. Even when political uncertainty, international established families to bring happi- calling people to repentance, He con- unrest, and economic instability, our ness to His children, allow them to demned the sin without condemning focus on strengthening and stabiliz- learn correct principles in a loving the sinner. ing families must be enhanced and atmosphere, and prepare them for Like our Savior, as Church leaders magnified. The very purpose of the eternal life. we should love the people we serve, showing care and concern for each one individually. May the Lord bless us in the sacred responsibility He has given us is my prayer, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen. ■ NOTES 1. “The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” Liahona, Oct. 2004, 49; or Ensign, Nov. 1995, 102. 2. “Rejoicing in the Privilege to Serve,” Worldwide Leadership Training Meeting, June 21, 2003, 24. 3. Worldwide Leadership Training Meeting, June 21, 2003, 22. 4. Liahona, Oct. 2004, 49; or Ensign, Nov. 1995, 102. 5. For the Strength of Youth (pamphlet, 2001), 10. 6. Liahona, Oct. 2004, 49; or Ensign, Nov. BY HARRY ANDERSON; PHOTOGRAPH BY BUSATH PHOTOGRAPHY BUSATH BY PHOTOGRAPH ANDERSON; HARRY BY 1995, 102. 7. Liahona, Oct. 2004, 49; or Ensign, Nov. 1995, 102. 8. Family Guidebook (2001), 1. The Family Guidebook (item no. 31180) may be obtained through Church distri-

bution centers and service centers. CHRIST WITH THE CHILDREN,

92 and brothers, this counsel applies to all of us. Parents Have Many of you are parents or grand- parents, or someday you may be. But married or not, we are all members of a Sacred Duty families. Take a minute and think about your own family. What do you BONNIE D. PARKIN love about them? One thing I love Relief Society General President about mine is I rejoice that my four sons love to be together. presented “The Family: A Proclama- What doctrine on the family does tion to the World.” Stillness was in the proclamation teach? I’d like to the congregation but also a sense of focus on one paragraph: “By divine excitement, a reaction of “Yes—we design, fathers are to preside over need help with our families!” their families in love and righteous- I remember feeling it was so right. ness and are responsible to provide Tears ran down my cheeks. As I the necessities of life and protection looked at the sisters seated near me, for their families. Mothers are prima- they seemed to be experiencing simi- rily responsible for the nurture of lar feelings. There was so much in the their children. In these sacred respon- proclamation that I couldn’t wait to sibilities, fathers and mothers are obli- get a copy and study it. The proclama- gated to help one another as equal tion affirms the dignity of women. partners.”2 And to think that it was first given to I love the words “by divine design.” Family Responsibilities the women of the Church at the gen- Parenting is part of our Heavenly f I could have one thing happen eral Relief Society meeting—I know Father’s divine design for His children. for parents and leaders of this President Hinckley values women. As parents, we have divine responsibil- IChurch, it would be that they feel We are all here as Church leaders. ity to provide, protect, and nurture the love of the Lord in their lives each We’re busy. But I have to remember— our families. day as they care for Heavenly Father’s just like you do—that our first respon- How can these guidelines—to pro- children. It may not be something sibility is to our own family. Remember, vide, protect, and nurture—help us that I say that touches your heart, but they are one of the few blessings we to rear righteous children? what the Spirit whispers to you. get to take with us to the eternities!1 Follow those sweet promptings. Newel K. Whitney was a bishop in the Provide I distinctly remember when the early Church in Kirtland. Like you bish- The proclamation says parents pro- proclamation on the family was given: ops today, he must have been pretty vide “the necessities of life.” But what September 23, 1995. I was seated in busy doing lots of good things. But he are those necessities? Yes, they are a the Tabernacle at the general Relief was chastened by the Lord and com- roof overhead, and they are food on Society meeting. President Hinckley manded to “set in order his family” the table. But because of the gospel was the concluding speaker. He (D&C 93:50; italics added). Sisters plan, we know there is more than

ENSIGN JUNE 2006 93 The proclamation teaches that parents have a sacred duty to protect their children. Abuse can be emotional, such as talking down to a spouse Teach your chil- or a child, treating them as worthless, dren the difference or withholding love and affection. between wants and needs. Don’t Fathers do not protect their families place unreasonable financial demands when they beat or strike their wives on your spouse. When President or children. A West African sister said Hinckley counseled us to get out of that before joining the Church, her debt, a father I know sat down with father beat her mother and the chil- that. They include skills—the things his married children and asked them dren. “Now,” she said, “he treats us that build character. Let’s look at just about their finances. He was surprised with respect and tenderness because a few. to find that two had serious debt. He he understands we are children We provide for our children as we then asked them if he could help of God.” teach them how to work. Let me tell them make a plan. Parents protect their children you about my grandson Jacob. He did Education and training enable par- by knowing their choice of friends. not want to go to school. His mother ents to provide. Encourage your chil- One teenage girl was angry when had tried so many things. Finally she dren to get all the education they can. her father questioned her about her sat him down and said, “Daddy’s job In some countries, young people can- evening’s activities. The father ex- is to go to work and earn money. My not qualify for Perpetual Education plained that the proclamation said job is to stay home and take care of Fund loans because they have not he should be a protector of his family you and your brothers and sister. And completed secondary schooling. In and that he loved his daughter, and your job, Jacob, is to go to school.” today’s world, it is so important that that was why he wanted to be sure When Jacob understood the principle, parents continue to learn. she was safe. he accepted it and went to school. We must also protect our children We also teach our children to work Protect from the influences of the media. by expecting them to do chores and, The second guideline I would like Know what your children are watching when appropriate, to work outside to talk about is protect. Protection from on the television, in the theaters, and the home. We help our children pro- what? From harm—both physical and in their friends’ homes. If you have a vide for their lifetimes by teaching spiritual. We protect when we teach computer in your home, make sure it them the value of work. Start early! our children that they have divine is a tool for those things that are “virtu- My husband says the greatest gift his worth, when we go to church as a fam- ous, lovely, or of good report or praise- father gave him was independence— ily, when we have family home evening, worthy” (Articles of Faith 1:13). because he taught him to work. when we have family prayer, when we We are protected as we follow the Managing our finances also helps study the scriptures together. That’s all living prophet. How have you been us to be good providers. As parents, pretty simple stuff, but I testify to you protected as a family by following plan together to live on a budget. that it provides powerful protection. President Hinckley’s counsel to read

94 the Book of Mormon? I recently received a note from a sister in England. She wrote: “My family has struggled in the last year with a father who has chosen not to attend church any longer. He has in family home been active all his life and has been in evening, and leading bishoprics. My heart has cried to the gospel discussions. My Lord about what I can do to not feel children were the Lord’s feet and resentment and bitterness. I have carried the words of redeeming love family home evening and prayer on to my husband. This has been a my own with the children. While in great blessing to my family.” the temple I felt prompted, because of the challenge to read the Book of Nurture Mormon, to not have scripture time The third and the last guideline is when he doesn’t obey. She cups her alone with the children but take the nurture. What does nurturing look hands around his face, looking him children and the scriptures to my like? What does it feel like? What in the eyes, and says, “Listen to my husband, wherever he may be in the does it sound like? Nurturing looks words.” We must teach our children house. So off we march, every night at like, feels like, and sounds like this to make wise choices, but we can’t 9:00, to find him. He reads with us— scripture: “By persuasion, by long- remove the consequences of their not at first, but now he does. He is suffering, by gentleness and meek- actions. Remember, the basis of our coming to church, meeting with us ness, and by love unfeigned; by kind- Heavenly Father’s plan is agency. ness” (D&C 121:41–42). Let me share What does nurturing feel like? just a few examples. Much of the teaching and relationship I think nurturing looks like disci- building in families takes place in plining with love. One young mother those brief, unplanned moments dur- stops her child ing our daily routine. The dinner table is a place to connect with each other, share our daily activities, listen to and encourage each other, and even laugh together. I know laugh- ter lightens the load. Dear mothers and fathers, make a regular mealtime for the people you love. Are you done parenting when your children are all grown and on their

PHOTOGRAPHY BY STEVE BUNDERSON, ROBERT CASEY, CRAIG DIMOND, AND MATTHEW REIER AND MATTHEW CRAIG DIMOND, ROBERT CASEY, STEVE BUNDERSON, BY PHOTOGRAPHY own? No, the deal is that you’re never

ENSIGN JUNE 2006 95 done. But we’re in this great business hospital. Hearing my father pour out However, by November, they had bro- of creating eternal families. While my his heart helped me know that there ken down, and we were not able to husband and I were serving a mission was a God in heaven who listens. Pray repair them. During this same time, in England, one of our sons and his for your children about their school- my 17-year-old son let me know that family came to visit. I remember him work and for their protection during he wasn’t planning to serve a mission saying, “We came because we needed the day. Our children know of our because he wasn’t sure if the gospel to be nurtured.” Once a parent, always love and expectations when they hear was true. If ever there was a time in a parent. Isn’t that the best? As I fin- us pray for them. my life that I needed the blessings of ished reading the Book of Mormon in the priesthood, it was then. I don’t December, I was struck with the real- Strengthening Families remember all the details or when ization that even Mormon counseled As a leader, how do you strengthen and where, but I distinctly remember his adult son Moroni: “My son, be and support the families of those you receiving more than one blessing faithful in Christ; . . . may Christ lift serve? You can use those same guide- from caring priesthood holders dur- thee up . . . and his mercy and long- lines—provide, protect, and nurture— ing that time. I always knew that I suffering, and the hope of his glory to strengthen your ward families. could call on my home teachers and and eternal life, rest in your mind Leaders support parents by honor- they would be there. Neither one forever” (Moroni 9:25). ing them, not by stepping in front to could fix my van, but they could give What does nurturing sound like? take over a child. You can be a mentor, me much-needed priesthood bless- Sometimes it’s hard to get more than you can share like interests, but defer ings, and they found someone who one-word answers from a teenager. to how the parents would like to have could fix the car.” Here’s a question that I’ve found to things done. One mother shared: “It Devoted home teachers made a be extremely helpful in changing that: has often seemed to me that the last difference for this family, and they “What is the biggest challenge or people my teenage sons wanted to lis- can make a difference for all single- struggle you have right now?” This ten to were my husband and me. At parent families as they come to know question opens the door for youth to times, my sons, yielding to peer pres- them, gain their trust, and provide share. And when they do, just listen! sures, have turned the parent volume priesthood blessings. Bishops, high Don’t judge or counsel or anything down. I’m thankful for wise Church priests group leaders, and elders else. Just listen. You’ll be amazed at leaders who have counseled our sons. quorum presidents, these mothers the connections and bonds that will They never took over our role as par- need the blessings of the priesthood be formed. Bishops and counselors, ents. They listened but gave support in their home, as do our remarkable this very same question can be pow- to our guidance and redirected them single sisters. erful as you interview the youth in back to us.” President Hinckley warned about your wards. As families, we all have needs. Just the “slow stain of the world” 10 years Nurturing sounds like family prayer. a few heartfelt words about mothers ago when the proclamation was issued. One of my most lasting memories of who parent alone: Let me share with This prophetic declaration reaffirms my father is kneeling with my broth- you the story of a mother of five the Lord’s “standards, doctrines, and ers and sister by my parents’ bed in whose husband was deployed over- practices relative to the family.”3 In their small room and hearing my seas. She relates: contrast, the world tries to dictate father plead with Heavenly Father “When my husband left in early the roles of women and motherhood. to bless our mother, who was in the February, we had reliable vehicles. Women today are told they need a

96 darkest day with three simple words: “I love you.” One of the greatest gifts parents can give their children is to show them they love each other. Our role as parents in rearing righ- teous children is to provide, protect, and nurture, and we do that as equal partners. We do the same as leaders. Being a leader is hard work. Being a parent is hard work. We get discour- Leaders support parents by honoring them, not by stepping in front to take aged, but we just keep going. I think over a child. we learn so much about the pure love of Christ in our families and through thriving career, organizations to belong They provide increased flexibility in Church service. to, and, if they have resources, chil- order for all sisters to participate in As parents and leaders, we need dren. The honored role of mother is Relief Society. Now, Relief Society lead- to give to our children the love our increasingly out of fashion. Let me ers, make sure that the meetings and Heavenly Father extends to us. In make it clear: we must not allow the the activities you plan will strengthen Moroni 8:17 we read, “I am filled world to compromise what we know the homes of all your sisters. with charity, which is everlasting is given to us by divine design. Visiting teaching is another vehicle love.” Add to this the Lord’s words: Sisters, let me speak directly to you to support the family. I hope all of “Clothe yourselves with the bond for just a few minutes. As members of you have opportunity to be visiting of charity, as with a mantle, which is the Relief Society of The Church of teachers. Visiting teachers not only the bond of perfectness and peace” Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, it is strengthen a sister spiritually but are (D&C 88:125). I invite you, in all of our blessing and our responsibility to also in a unique position to nurture your dealings, to put on the mantle nurture and sustain the family unit. and to assess needs. Relief Society of charity, to envelop your family in Everyone belongs to a family, and leaders, be proactive in your welfare the pure love of Christ. every family needs to be strengthened committee meetings, and report on As families and leaders, may the and protected. spiritual and temporal needs identi- Lord bless you to encircle those you My greatest help in becoming a fied by your visiting teachers. love with the mantle of charity, that all homemaker came first from my own of us may return to the presence of mother and grandmother and next The Pure Love of Christ our Father in Heaven and live with from the Relief Society sisters in the For those of you who are married, Him together forever. In the name different wards where we have lived. think back. What made you fall in love of Jesus Christ, amen. ■

I learned skills; I saw modeled the with your spouse? Remembering this NOTES joys that come from creating a home can give you a forgiving heart. Express 1. See Gordon B. Hinckley, “Rejoicing in the Privilege to Serve,” Worldwide Leadership where others want to be. Effective your love to each other. A wife can Training Meeting, June 21, 2003, 22. 2. “The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” January 2006, there were new guide- make a difference in her husband’s Liahona, Oct. 2004, 49; or Ensign, Nov. lines for home, family, and personal life as she builds his self-confidence. 1995, 102. 3. “Stand Strong against the Wiles of the

PHOTOGRAPH BY DEREK SMITH BY PHOTOGRAPH enrichment meetings and activities. A husband can brighten even the World,” Ensign, Nov. 1995, 100.

ENSIGN JUNE 2006 97 In a revelation given through the Prophet Joseph Smith at Kirtland, Heavenly Homes, Ohio, December 27, 1832, the Master counseled, “Organize your- selves; prepare every needful thing; Forever Families and establish a house, even a house of prayer, a house of fasting, a house PRESIDENT THOMAS S. MONSON of faith, a house of learning, a house First Counselor in the First Presidency of glory, a house of order, a house of God” (D&C 88:119; see also and respect. We are responsible for 109:8). the homes we build. We must build Where could any of us locate a wisely, for eternity is not a short voy- more suitable blueprint whereby age. There will be calm and wind, he could wisely and properly build? sunlight and shadows, joy and sor- Such a house would meet the build- row. But if we really try, our home ing code outlined in Matthew, even can be a bit of heaven here on earth. a house built “upon a rock” (Mat- The thoughts we think, the deeds thew 7:24, 25; see also Luke 6:48; we do, the lives we live not only 3 Nephi 14:24, 25), a house capable influence the success of our earthly of withstanding the rains of adver- journey, they also mark the way to sity, the floods of opposition, and our eternal goals. the winds of doubt everywhere Some Latter-day Saint families are present in our changing and chal- comprised of mother, father, and chil- lenging world. Building an Eternal Home dren, all at home, while others have Some might question, “But that t is in a spirit of humility that I witnessed the tender departure of revelation was to provide guidance represent the First Presidency one, then another, then another of for the construction of a temple. Is Ias the concluding speaker for their members. Sometimes a single it relevant today?” this meeting. We have been inspired individual comprises a family. What- I would respond, “Did not the and edified by the remarks of Elder ever its composition, the family con- Apostle Paul declare, ‘Know ye not Bednar, Elder Perry, and Sister Parkin. tinues—for families can be forever. that ye are the temple of God, and Our thoughts have centered on home We can learn from the master that the Spirit of God dwelleth in and family as we have been reminded architect—even the Lord. He has you?’ ” (1 Corinthians 3:16). that “the home is the basis of a righ- taught us how we must build. He Let the Lord be the general con- teous life, and no other instrumental- declared, “Every . . . house divided tractor for our building project. Then ity can take its place or fulfill its against itself shall not stand” (Mat- each of us can be subcontractors essential functions.”1 thew 12:25). Later He cautioned, responsible for a vital segment of the A home is much more than a “Behold, mine house is a house of whole project. All of us are thereby house built of lumber, brick, or stone. order . . . and not a house of confu- builders. In addition to building A home is made of love, sacrifice, sion” (D&C 132:8). our own homes, we also have the

98 responsibility to help build the king- On this, the American continent, dom of God here upon the earth by Jacob, the brother of Nephi, declared, serving faithfully and effectively in “Look unto God with firmness of mind,

BY HEINRICH HOFMANN, BY our Church callings. May I provide and pray unto him with exceeding guidelines from God, lessons from faith” ( Jacob 3:1). life, and points to ponder as we com- This divinely inspired counsel CHRIST’S IMAGE, mence to build. comes to us today as crystal-clear water to a parched earth. We live in Kneel Down to Pray troubled times. The Master counseled, “Organize “Trust in the Lord with all Just a few short generations ago, yourselves; prepare every needful thine heart; and lean not unto one could not have imagined the thing; and establish a house, even a thine own understanding. In all world in which we now live and the house of prayer, a house of fasting, thy ways acknowledge him, and he problems it presents. We are sur- a house of faith.” shall direct thy paths” (Proverbs rounded by immorality, pornography, 3:5–6). So spoke the wise Solomon, violence, drugs, and a host of other COURTESY OF C. HARRISON CONROY CO. CO. COURTESY OF C. HARRISON CONROY PHOTOGRAPHY BY BUSATH PHOTOGRAPHY AND MATTHEW REIER; AND MATTHEW PHOTOGRAPHY BUSATH BY PHOTOGRAPHY son of David, king of Israel. ills which afflict modern-day society.

ENSIGN JUNE 2006 99 Ours is the challenge, even the at hand. He who knows each of His As a people, aren’t we grateful that responsibility, not only to keep our- children will answer our fervent and family prayer is not an out-of-date selves “unspotted from the world” heartfelt prayer as we seek help in practice with us? There is real mean- ( James 1:27) but also to guide our guiding them. Such prayer will solve ing behind the oft-quoted adage, children and others for whom we more problems, alleviate more suffer- “The family that prays together stays have responsibility safely through ing, prevent more transgression, and together.” the stormy seas of sin surrounding bring about greater peace and con- The Lord Himself directed that all of us, that we might one day tentment in the human soul than any we have family prayer when He said, return to live with our Heavenly other way. “Pray in your families unto the Father, Father. Besides needing such guidance always in my name, that your wives The training of our own families for our own families, we have been and your children may be blessed” requires our presence, our time, our called to positions where we have (3 Nephi 18:21). best efforts. To be effective in our responsibility for others. As a bishop As parents, as teachers, and as training, we must be stalwart in our or counselor, as a priesthood quo- leaders in any capacity, we cannot examples to our family members and rum leader or an auxiliary leader, afford to attempt this potentially per- available for private time with each you have the opportunity to make ilous journey through mortality with- member, as well as time for counsel- a difference in the lives of others. out heavenly assistance to aid us in ing and guidance. There may be those who come from guiding those for whom we have We often feel overwhelmed by the part-member or less-active families; responsibility. task before us. However, help is ever some may have turned from their As we offer unto God our family parents, disregarding their plead- prayers and our personal prayers, let ings and counsel. We could well us do so with faith and trust in Him. be the instrument in the Lord’s Kneel down to pray. hands to make a difference in the life of one in such a situation. Step Up to Serve Without the guidance of our For our example, we turn to the Heavenly Father, however, we life of the Lord. Like a glowing search- cannot do all that we have been light of goodness is the life of Jesus called to do. Such help comes as He ministered among men. He through prayer. brought strength to the limbs of the A prominent American judge cripple, sight to the eyes of the blind, was asked what we, as citizens of hearing to the ears of the deaf, and the countries of the world, could life to the body of the dead. do to reduce crime and disobedi- His parables preach power. With ence to law and to bring peace and the good Samaritan, He taught, “Love contentment into our lives and thy neighbor” (see Luke 10:30–35). into our nations. He thoughtfully Through His kindness to the woman replied, “I would suggest a return taken in adultery, He taught compas- to the old-fashioned practice of sionate understanding (see John

family prayer.” 8:3–11). In His parable of the talents, ROBERT CASEY BY PHOTOGRAPHY

100 He taught us to improve ourselves to examine it, he found that it was a She told me that her husband had and to strive for perfection (see fast-offering envelope with the name been out of work for some time and Matthew 25:14–30). Well could He and telephone number of our ward that they were in desperate need have been preparing us for our role printed on it. As he described to me not only of food but also of money in building an eternal family. the boy who had been in his store, I with which to pay the rent so that Each of us—whether a priesthood immediately identified the individual they wouldn’t be evicted from the leader or an officer in an auxiliary —a young deacon from our ward tiny house. organization—has responsibility to who came from a less-active his or her sacred call. We have been family. set apart for the work to which we My first reaction was one have been called. In Doctrine and of shock and disappointment Covenants 107:99 the Lord said, to think that any of our dea- “Wherefore, now let every man learn cons would take fast-offering his duty, and to act in the office in funds intended for those in which he is appointed, in all dili- need and would go to a store gence.” As we help to bless and on a Sunday and buy a treat strengthen those for whom we have with the money. I determined responsibility in our Church callings, to visit the boy that afternoon we will in effect be blessing and in order to teach him about The service we perform in our families strengthening their families. Thus, the sacred funds of the Church and and in our Church callings can have the service we perform in our fami- his duty as a deacon to gather and to eternal consequences. lies and in our Church callings can protect those funds. have eternal consequences. As I drove to the home, I offered I never did bring up the matter Many years ago, as a bishop in a silent prayer for direction in what I of the fast-offering donations, for I a large and diverse ward of over a should say to compose the situation. realized that the boy had most likely thousand members located in down- I arrived and knocked on the door. been desperately hungry when he town Salt Lake City, I faced numer- It was opened by the boy’s mother, stopped at the drugstore. Rather, I ous challenges. and I was invited into the living room. immediately arranged for assistance One Sunday afternoon I received Although the room was barely lighted, for the family, that they might have a phone call from the proprietor of I could see how small and run-down food to eat and a roof over their a drugstore located within our ward it was. The few pieces of furniture heads. In addition, with the help of boundaries. He indicated that earlier were threadbare. The mother herself the priesthood leaders in the ward, that morning, a young boy had come looked worn out. we were able to arrange employ- into his store and had purchased My indignation at her son’s actions ment for the husband so that he an ice-cream sundae from the soda that morning disappeared from my could provide for his family in the fountain. He had paid for the pur- thoughts as I realized that here was future. chase with money he took from an a family in real need. I felt impressed As priesthood and auxiliary lead- envelope, and then when he left, to ask the mother if there was any ers, we are entitled to the Lord’s he had forgotten the envelope. food in the house. Tearfully she assistance in magnifying our callings When the proprietor had a chance admitted that there was none. and fulfilling our responsibilities.

ENSIGN JUNE 2006 101 Seek His help, and when the inspira- different drummer, later to learn named Jack. Throughout Jack’s early tion comes to you, move on that they have followed the Pied Piper of life, he and his father had many seri- inspiration concerning where to go, sorrow and suffering. ous arguments. One day when he whom to see, what to say, and how In 1995 the First Presidency took was 17, they had a particularly agi- to say it. We can think a thought to note of those who had strayed from tated one. Jack said to his father, death, but only when we move upon the fold of Christ and issued a special “This is the straw that breaks the the thought do we bless human lives. statement entitled “An Invitation to camel’s back. I’m leaving home, and May we be true shepherds of those Come Back.” The message contained I will never return!” He went to his for whom we have responsibility. John this appeal: room and packed a bag. His mother Milton wrote in his poem “Lycidas,” “To you who for any reason find begged him to stay, but he was too “The hungry Sheep look up, and are yourselves outside the embrace of the angry to listen. He left her crying in not fed” (line 125). The Lord Himself Church, we say come back. We invite the doorway. said to Ezekiel the prophet, “Woe be to you to return and partake of the Leaving the yard, he was about the shepherds of Israel that . . . feed to pass through the gate when he not the flock” (Ezekiel 34:2–3). heard his father call to him, “Jack, I Ours is the responsibility to care know that a large share of for the flock, for the precious sheep, the blame for your leaving these tender lambs, are everywhere rests with me. For this I am to be found—at home in our truly sorry. I want you to own families, in the homes know that if you should ever of our extended families, wish to return home, you’ll and waiting for us in our always be welcome. And I’ll try to Church callings. Jesus is be a better father to you. I want you our Exemplar. Said He, to know that I love you, and I’ll “I am the good shepherd, always love you.” and know my sheep” ( John 10:14). We Jack said nothing but went to have a shepherding responsibility. May happiness you once knew. You will the bus station and bought a ticket we each step up to serve. find many with outstretched arms to to a distant point. As he sat in the welcome you, assist you, and give you bus watching the miles go by, his Reach Out to Rescue comfort. thoughts turned to the words of

On the journey along the pathway “The Church needs your strength, his father. He began to realize how BE COPIED NOT MAY SIMON DEWEY, BY of life, there are casualties. Some love, loyalty, and devotion. The course much courage, how much love had depart from the road markers which is fixed and certain by which a person been required for his father to say lead to life eternal only to discover may return to the full blessings of what he had said. Dad had apolo-

that the detour chosen ultimately Church membership, and we stand gized. He had invited him back and IS MY SHEPHERD, THE LORD leads to a dead end. Indifference, ready to receive all who wish to do so.” had left the words ringing in the carelessness, selfishness, and sin all Perhaps an oft-repeated scene will summer air, “I love you.” take their costly toll in human lives. bring closer to home your personal Jack knew that the next move was There are those who, for unexplained opportunity to reach out to rescue. up to him. He realized the only way he

reasons, march to the sound of a Let us look in on a family with a son could ever find peace with himself was ROBERT CASEY; BY PHOTOGRAPH

102 May we be true shepherds of those for whom we have responsibility. to demonstrate to his father the same From Mount Sinai there thunders Let us build with skill, take no kind of maturity, goodness, and love in our ears, “Honour thy father and shortcuts, and follow His blueprint. that Dad had shown toward him. Jack thy mother” (Exodus 20:12), and Then the Lord, even our building got off the bus. He bought a return later, from that same God, the inspector, may say to us, as He said ticket and began the journey home. injunction, “Live together in love” when He appeared to Solomon, a He arrived shortly after midnight, (D&C 42:45). builder of another day, “I have hal- entered the house, and turned on lowed this house, which thou hast the light. There in the rocking chair Following the Lord’s Blueprint built, to put my name there for sat his father, his head bowed. As he Kneel down to pray. Step up to ever; and mine eyes and mine looked up and saw Jack, he arose serve. Reach out to rescue. Each is heart shall be there perpetually” from the chair; they rushed into a vital page of God’s blueprint to (1 Kings 9:3). We will then have each other’s arms. Jack later said, make a house a home and a home heavenly homes and forever “Those last years that I was home a heaven. families and will be able to help, were among the happiest of my life.” Balance is key to us in our sacred to strengthen, and to bless other Here was a father who, suppressing and solemn responsibilities in our families as well. passion and bridling pride, reached own homes and in our Church call- I pray most humbly and sincerely out to rescue his son before he be- ings. We must use wisdom, inspira- that this blessing may come to each came one of that vast “lost battalion” tion, and sound judgment as we care of us. In the name of Jesus Christ, resulting from fractured families and for our families and fulfill our Church amen. ■ shattered homes. Love was the bind- callings, for each is vitally important. NOTE ing band, the healing balm; love so We cannot neglect our families; we 1. First Presidency letter, Feb. 11, 1999; see Liahona, Dec. 1999, 1; or Ensign, often felt, so seldom expressed. must not neglect our Church callings. June 1999, 80.

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T LAKE LIBERTY STAKE STAINED GLASS WINDOW IN A MEETINGHOUSE OF THE SAL STAINED First Vision, by Lucy Thurston Kinney “I saw two Personages, whose brightness and glory defy all description, standing above me in the air. One of them spake unto me, calling me by name and said, pointing to the other—This is My Beloved Son. Hear Him!” (Joseph Smith—History 1:17). 4 02269 06000 7 26906 Jun 06 Prophet oftheRestoration,” p.40. (D&C 135:3).See“Joseph Smith: any othermanthateverlivedinit” salvation ofmeninthisworld,than has donemore,saveJesusonly, forthe A and SeeroftheLord, [who] Joseph Smith,“theProphet new filmdetailsthelifeof