SIEA’s

Did You Know

October, November, and December 2016

Southwestern Illinois Employers Association PO Box 349, Wood River, IL. 62095 WWW.SIEA.US

October Calendar

01 David McSweeney Illinois House of Representatives 02 Jack Franks Illinois House of Representatives 02 Robert Rita Illinois House of Representatives 02 Jay Shattuck Shattuck & Associates Consulting Inc. 04 Becky Alexander EVCO National, Inc. 06 Michael Hastings Illinois State Senate 07 Jaime Andrade, Jr. Illinois House of Representatives 09 Richard Kearns State Street Investment Company 10 Illinois State Senate 14 Patricia Bellock Illinois House of Representatives 28 John Cullerton President of Illinois State Senate 29 Mark Darr Federal Steel & Erection Company 30 Illinois State Senate

November Calendar

04 Sam McCann Illinois State Senate 06 Jay Hoffman Illinois House of Representatives 08 David Luechtefeld Illinois State Senate 12 Patricia Van Pelt Illinois State Senate 15 Michelle Mathews William M. BeDell – ARC 15 Illinois State Senate 17 Dave Bartosiak C. J. Schlosser & Co., L.L.C. 18 Brad Farrell Helmkamp Construction Company 21 Dick Durbin United States Senator 22 Pamela Althoff Illinois State Senate 26 Louis Lang Illinois House of Representatives 30 Patrick Verschoore Illinois House of Representatives

December Calendar

08 Michael McAuliffe Illinois House of Representatives 09 Monica Bristow Riverbend Growth Assn. 09 Jim Mihalich J2 MGMT 10 Jacqueline Collins Illinois State Senate 11 Illinois House of Representatives 11 Elaine Nekritz Illinois House of Representatives 12 Mark Hilgert WBGZ Radio Station 15 Deacon Bill Kessler St. Ambrose Parish 17 Daniel Burke Illinois House of Representatives 21 Republican Leader 21 Judy Schrewe Phillips 66 25 Tom Adams Wegman Electric Company 26 Matt Schrimpf HWRT Oil Company, LLC 27 Illinois State Senate 29 James Clayborne, Jr. Illinois State Senate 29 Dave Sullivan Raucci & Sullivan Strategies, LLC 30 Mike Bost U. S. Congressmen

How Children Perceive Their Grandparents

1. My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was and I told him, 80. My grandson was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, “Did you start at 1?”

2. Children’s Logic: “Give me a sentence about a public servant,” said a teacher. The small boy wrote: “The fireman came down the ladder pregnant.” The teacher took the lad aside to correct him “Don’t you know what pregnant means?” she asked. “Sure,” said the young boy confidently. It means carrying a child.

3. When my grandson and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep pesky insects outside. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, he whispered, “It’s no use Grandpa, now the mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights.”

4. A six year old was asked where his grandma lived. “Oh, she lives at the airport and when we want her, we just go get her. Then, when we’re done having her visit, we take her back to airport.”

5. Grandpa is the smartest man on earth. He teaches me good things, but I don’t get to see him enough to get as smart as him.

6. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she hears the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, “Who was that?”

PROFOUND FOOTBALL QUOTES!

1. Gentlemen, it is better to have died a small boy than to fumble the football. John Heisman

2. When you win, nothing hurts. Joe Namath / Alabama

3. There’s nothing that cleanses your soul like getting the hell kicked out of you. Woody Hayes / Ohio State

4. I never graduated from Iowa. But I was only there for two terms – Truman’s and Eisenhower’s. Alex Karras / Iowa

5. Son, you’ve got a good engine, but your hands aren’t on the steering wheel. Bobby Bowden / Florida State

6. I’ve found that prayers work best when you have big players. Knute Rockne / Notre Dame

7. If lessons are learned in defeat, our team is getting a great education. Murray Warmath / Minnesota

8. We didn’t tackle well today, but we made up for it by not blocking. John McKay / USC

IT’S TIME TO “FALL” BACK!

DAYLIGHT SAVING TIME ENDS

NNOOVVEEMMBBEERR 66,, 22001166

DON’T FORGET TO SET YOUR CLOCKS BACK ONE HOUR

Did You Know Facts

August has the highest percentage of births.

The average person falls asleep in 7 minutes.

A hummingbird’s heart beats over a 1,000 times a minute.

A crocodile can’t move its tongue.

There are 31,557,600 seconds in a year.

Sponges hold more cold water than hot.

Frogs can’t swallow with their eyes open.

A duck can’t walk without bobbing its head.

The first sailing boats were built in Egypt.

42% of men and 25% of women don’t wash their hands after using a public toilet. That’s just disgusting!

Holy Humor

A young lady came home from a date rather sad. She told he mother, “Anthony proposed to me an hour ago.” “Then why are you so sad?” her mother asked. Because he also told me he is an atheist. Mom, he doesn’t believe there’s a Hell.” Her mother replied, “Marry him anyway. Between the two of us, we’ll show him how wrong he is.”

Three women were sitting at a kitchen table drinking coffee and began bragging about their children. The first one said, my son is a priest, when people see him they say Good morning, Father. The second woman said, my son is a Cardinal when people see him they say Good morning, Your Eminence. The third mother said, my son is seven feet tall and weighs over 800 pounds, when people see him they say, OH MY GOD!

Kevin and Ryan, age’s five and three, were waiting for breakfast on Saturday morning. As their mother was preparing some pancakes, the boys began to argue loudly over who would be the first one from the griddle. The mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. “If Jesus were sitting here, he would say, “Let my brother have the first pancake. I can wait” she explained. Kevin immediately turned to his younger brother and said, “Okay, Ryan you be Jesus!”

Adult Truths

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.

There is great need for a sarcasm font.

Map Quest, Google Maps and GPS really need to start their directions on #5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

Bad decisions make good stories.

I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Light than Kay.

I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.