A Feel Good Guide to Staying Fat, Loud, Lazy and Stupid Ebook

WHY WE SUCK: A FEEL GOOD GUIDE TO STAYING FAT, LOUD, LAZY AND STUPID PDF, EPUB, EBOOK

How his older brother beat the crap out of him and why he was lucky to make it out of childhood at all. The middle part of the book moves away from the bio angle and becomes more of an observations about life; raising drug free kids or not? Theres also 8 pages of photographs which include shots from his childhood, his wife and kids, Domina Patrick the race car driver? And a comparism between him and Willem Dafoe. View all 13 comments. Dec 15, Lisa rated it did not like it Shelves: not-recommended. You know, I usually find Leary's comedy to be pretty humorous and thought that would translate well into his writing. Not so much. I read about pages and barely chuckled once. The material was dated and stale, stuff you've undoubtedly heard a million times before All families are dysfunctional? Get out! I'm loathe to put down a book I haven't finished, seriously, see my review of The Meaning of Night if you don't believe me , but this just wasn't worth it. The jacket's pull-out You know, I usually find Leary's comedy to be pretty humorous and thought that would translate well into his writing. The jacket's pull-out quotes probably contained the funniest lines of the book. Oh, and sorry Denis, but you're perspective is hardly as controversial as you'd like us to believe. And all the caveats just made them feel even less so. Or maybe I just suck. View all 8 comments. Dec 15, Patrick rated it did not like it Shelves: I still have 80 pages left, but I can already tell this isn't gonna get any better. I'm not that familiar with Leary, but I'm pretty sure he's more talented than this book. PETA wouldn't even have to hire a lawyer to get Leary convicted for the relentless I still have 80 pages left, but I can already tell this isn't gonna get any better. PETA wouldn't even have to hire a lawyer to get Leary convicted for the relentless beating he gives to these dead horses. The only saving grace is the few autobiographical anecdotes he throws in from his childhood. A memoir about growing up Irish Catholic in Boston would have been sooo much better than this tripe. View 1 comment. Apr 18, Mark rated it it was amazing. Offensive, rude, acid tongued. His parodies. His exaggerated views. His acerbic, rapier wit. This book showcases his slaying of victimhood and the self-absorbed posers who invade his world by living in it. By un-pc, I mean he tells it exactly the way things are. He paints the script with just enough exaggeration and ma Offensive, rude, acid tongued. He paints the script with just enough exaggeration and making that he makes you scream out loud laughing one second, and yet makes you think the next. A dual edged sword of comedy. Written with a nice sense of pacing, the punchlines are scathingly funny. I enraged an entire plane of passengers with my howling, to the point that the beefy beehive Stewardess waggled her index finger at me throwing daggers. Escaping this near death experience, I continued on in muffled silence. For edgy social commentary jokes, this is about as fast-paced and ruthless as it gets. Just classic Dennis. Hicks, Carlin, Miller and Leary all have carved out a slice in this raw genre of intellectual humor. The core of this content is taboo topics, and insults of the US celebrity-obsessed culture, and the endless assortment of sappy whiners with a complete lack of responsibility. But Dennis also dishes out some funny childhood experiences that had me rolling, since I could so easily relate to them. If you like this style of comedy, this book is a must own. Jan 09, Andrew M rated it did not like it Shelves: one-book-per-week I was a fan of Denis Leary's comedy when he first became popular in the early to mid-nineties, so I expected this to be a fun read filled with his trademark humour, sarcasm, and offensive observations. Not only is it not funny, but it doesn't even deliver the promised offensiveness or anything remotely witty. Unfortunately this book is undeniable proof that he has completely and totally jumped the shark. One wouldn't think that this would be a difficult thing to do. Instead, he takes easy potshots at celebrities, complains about how things were better back in his day, tosses around the occasional swear word, and honest to god, he actually devotes several chapters to how men and women are different. This book was published in , but reading this made me feel like it was Then when he devotes a chapter to Oprah, at first you might think that he's just planning to tear down another celebrity. Instead he spends a dozen pages talking about how awesome she is. Who is this book supposed to offend? Even when he does say things that are offensive like his bit on how autism isn't real, the kids are just stupid and lazy , it doesn't seem original or funny. It just comes across as Leary trying to be rude and rehashing dumb beliefs that others hold. To make matters worse, the jokes in this book aren't even that funny. There were two or three times that I chuckled a bit, but as comedy writing goes this was a spectacular failure. I suppose the difference between and now is that Leary's misanthropic act now just comes off as curmudgeonly. Fortunately he's a decent actor, so hopefully he will leave comedy and comedy writing to people who know what they're doing. View 2 comments. Mar 02, Gaylene rated it it was amazing. I'm sure this is book is offensive to many, but I found it honest and laugh-out-loud hilarious! Dec 12, Adam Floridia rated it did not like it Shelves: 1-star-books. I just wanted to get that out there before I discuss how awful the book is. Really bad. The difference between oral comedy and comedy in the written form is that an author needs to be able to write. There is little to no coherence either—he spends more time discussing gender differences than lampooning the typical slovenly American. He repeats and contradicts himself. Consider reading the chapter about bullies, which is the most entertaining because he tells humorous anecdotes. Those work well in written comedy—ask David Sedaris or Augusten Burroughs. Get it, neither work very well! If you enjoyed that, you might enjoy the book after all… View all 3 comments. Mar 02, Mike rated it did not like it. I mean with chapters devoted to Anna Nicole Smith, the Church and Republicans I was really waiting for a timely paragraph or two about the quality of food on airplanes. Or what part of the chicken the McNugget came from. Leary used to be really funny, now he just seems to be cashing cheques and trying to prove he belongs with the cool kids. Despite it's title, this book had no unifying theory and only took shots at the most obvious of targets while never taking on the controversial the autism k I mean with chapters devoted to Anna Nicole Smith, the Church and Republicans I was really waiting for a timely paragraph or two about the quality of food on airplanes. Despite it's title, this book had no unifying theory and only took shots at the most obvious of targets while never taking on the controversial the autism kerfuffle was over a single, throw-away line. Maybe it would have been better if Bill Hicks were still alive. Apr 26, Judith rated it did not like it. You start out thinking he's pretty funny and nodding in agreement at the points he makes, but after a few minutes, his point is beaten into your head and he just keeps pounding away until he ends up giving you a headache. He's like the guy who carries the joke too far. Jul 20, Dest rated it it was amazing. After telling a friend that I'd just finished reading two books with heavy, emotional subjects, she suggested I read this. The book claims to be offensive to everyone at some point. That alone made me laugh. Life is serious but we've all gotten way too easily offended and need to see ourselves in a totally different way Because they aren't. Leary manages to simply write things tha After telling a friend that I'd just finished reading two books with heavy, emotional subjects, she suggested I read this. Leary manages to simply write things that are true observations of people in general and while he will write a line or two of "disclaimer" before launching into a diatribe, he doesn't waste time in the book going on and on about something isn't meant to offend and apologize, etc. I like the directness and bluntness that he uses. Were there parts that offended me? Sure, a little. Then I realized that I really shouldn't be offended because frankly, most of it has a LOT of truth to it. I laughed, out loud, through a large part of the book. When I wasn't laughing, I was grinning. Most of the time I was nodding in agreement. Want to laugh at yourself? Want to chuckle at just how ridiculous some things have become? Get this book. It's a great, funny and light read. Jul 02, Paul rated it did not like it Shelves: library , never-finished. Why does this book suck? If I could give it negative stars, I would. It isn't because he is "daring" and "outspoken". No, it's just because he isn't funny. In one of his prefaces, he challenges the reader to put the book down, effectively saying that we can't handle it. That's good advice, but not for the reason given. I expected hoped for a cross between Dennis Miller and George Carlin. I got nothing that I couldn Why does this book suck? I got nothing that I couldn't get in any bar after about 1 am. Mindless drivel. I didn't finish this, so perhaps it gets better Jan 04, Alexis rated it did not like it. If you are a kid — meaning anyone under the age of eighteen — you will soon be filled with shock and awe. If you are under the age of twenty-five you will soon be filled with shock and awe. If you hate Oprah or Oprah tends to drive you insane — you too will need some assistance. This is not a book for the faint of heart or the politically correct or the weak or the extreme right wing or the left of center leftist Democrat or nuns or any other members of any organized religion or New York Yankees fans. I am warning you — I am not here to make you feel all warm and fuzzy or superior to everyone else or all soft and gooey inside. I am here to debunk and declassify and otherwise hold up a brutally honest mirror to our fat, ugly, lazy American selves. We invented whiskey, for crissakes. You know what whiskey means in Gaelic? Water of life. Patrick's Day Parade in which I made fun of the fact that most of the Irish and a few of the Puerto Rican guys I knew would annually—which means every single fucking year—spend the unofficially holy day painting their faces green and getting drunk and then beating the living shit out of each other after an argument broke out over who had better pitching, the Yankees or the Mets. Because they soon realized that all I had to do was call up any local news channel and request footage from ANY St. Patrick's Day Parade held since the invention of the television camera and there in front of our eyes would be green—faced Irish Americans in a drunken punch—up with their own cousins and best friends and actual brothers—many times right in front of St. Patrick's Cathedral. The Puerto Ricans and the New York Mets didn't enter the equation until they both started playing baseball during the 's. The right to bear arms and the right to vote and the equal rights amendment and freedom of speech and every other piece of paper evidence you wanna throw onto the pile may guarantee you the right to spout stupidity see Newt Gingrich, Mel Gibson, Barry Bonds, et al. Ya wanna build a giant fence to keep all the Mexicans out? Who's gonna build the fence? Where are we gonna get our cheap Mexican weed? Who's gonna host The Dog Whisperer? Our country has been so driven into debt by a drug—addled, imbred, dry drunk of the Republican revolution—a man who ran an oil company into the ground do you know how hard it is NOT to make money off of oil? My daughter's Chihuahua could pull it off —that we are now borrowing money from China. Within a day I would have disappeared off the face of the earth, leaving my wife and the only child we are allowed to have—and our three bikes—to fend for themselves. Hey—I don't know what his actual weight was when he started pushing his diet book, but let's just say he was more than a little puffy and really now what I would call an authority on that particular subject. Hell—he might as well have written a book on how to stop being bald while he was at it. Let me point something out—Dr. Full doesn't even have a license to practice in the state of California, which is where he tapes his daily talk show. Let me point something else out—if I needed to go on a diet, I'd want the guy selling me his diet book to not only be thin but actually be in shape—is that too much to ask? So here's my point—if Dr. Full can write a diet book then I can sure as hell write a self—help book. And that's really all I'm trying to do here—help you to help yourself AND make a shitload of money while I'm doing so. Because I really do believe we live in the greatest country on earth but—just like that fixer—upper you get a very good price on—there's still a lot of work left to do. We live in a country that's still very very young, as countries go, and I think the whole idea of the American Dream has been convoluted and undone. We live in a country where the first pictures of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's baby were sold for over four million dollars. We live in a country where Rosa Parks had the courage and conviction to sit down long enough to start a revolution that led to Al Sharpton screaming racism every time Barry Bonds gets indicted for taking performance—enhancing drugs in order to break a home—run record set by a black man who didn't even have the benefit of Advil. We live in a country where—once upon a time—the President Medal of Freedom was given to people who fought for civil rights and equal rights and other matters that made a genuine difference and real contributions to a better future for everyone on the planet. Now it goes to guys who so botched the War on Terror that the president has to accept their resignation before they squirm off into the shadows to lick their wounds. George Bush The Second avoided Vietnam through privileged connections, shot down the brave deeds of another privileged son—John Kerry—who volunteered to serve, came home with medals on his chest and made the mistake of thinking the best man might win when he ran against a guy whose administration was caught cremating dead American soldiers from Iraq in a pet cemetery incinerator. It's time to tear down the walls of the stupid and the inane and the politically correct and the righteous and the pretentious and the bald and tell them how much they suck and how fat they are and how everything in the Bible is NOT necessarily true and no your hair will never grow back and yes you look much older without it and no—women really don't find bald guys attractive unless you're Mark Messier or a multizillionaire or both. It's time to shave your back and pay attention to your kids and buy a bigger—size dress and stop wearing spandex until you lose a hundred pounds. Skinny jeans are meant for skinny people. In case you don't understand the term "skinny"—if your ass doesn't fit into a seat at the ballpark or hockey rink or football stadium—yer fat. Too fat for skinny jeans. Home 1 Books 2. Read an excerpt of this book! Add to Wishlist. Sign in to Purchase Instantly. Explore Now. Buy As Gift. Proudly Irish-American, defiantly working class, with a reserve of compassion for the underdog and the overlooked, Leary delivers blistering diatribes that are both penetrating social commentary with no holds barred and laugh-out-loud funny. Leary is the star and co-creator of the Emmy-nominated television show Rescue Me. About the Author. Leary was the co-creator, producer, and star of the critically acclaimed network comedy The Job. He is the co-writer, creator, and star of the four-time Emmy and Golden Globe— nominated television series Rescue Me. He lives in Connecticut. Read an Excerpt Put this book down. Right now. Do not buy it. Stop reading. Why are you still reading this? I warned you. If you are a woman, you soon will be livid. If you are a man, you are going to be filled with a burning rage. Scratch that. If you are under the age of twenty—five you will soon be filled with shock and awe. If you are a fan of Oprah—good luck. If you hate Oprah or Oprah tends to drive you insane—you too will need some assistance. Because I'm sick of it all. Open ass—insert head. THAT is the mantra with which most of America lives each and every day. Open ass—insert head with flame—red tongue. Do I put her on a diet and make her start working out? Fuck no. I sue McDonald's because they make shitty, hormone—and—chemical filled food that she eats every single day three TIMES a day because I'm very very busy living my selfish extended adolescent life and don't have time to: A. Cook her normal food. Monitor her free time. Stop smoking pot and drinking so her easiest sources of alcohol and marijuana dry up. Open ass—insert thick, self—medicated head. Should he blame himself for his lazy butter—assed slovenly ways? And I don't wanna hear the words "misogyny," "racial profiling" or "politically incorrect. Like yes, your ass IS fat. Especially if you have or plan on having kids. I know it's awful. I know it's incredibly simple and stupid and sad. But it's true. A recent online poll by Women's Day magazine came up with these results: When asked which they would rather have—Jennifer Aniston's body or a million dollars—78 percent of the women chose the money. Maybe that's the difference between men and women. One of them, anyway. Here's another: Ninety—four percent of the people in the country who visit, pay and place heavy stock in psychics and what they have to say are women. You disagree? Then you gotta be a chick. Open vagina— insert head. Denis Leary | Event

Denis Leary uses his common sense, and his biting and hilarious take on the world, to attack the politically correct, the hypocritical, the obese, the thin--basically everyone who takes themselves too seriously. He does so with the extra oomph of a doctorate bestowed upon him by his alma mater Emerson College. Zeroing in on the ridiculous wherever he finds it, Leary unravels his Irish Catholic upbringing, the folly of celebrity, the pressures of family life, and the great hypocrisy of politics with the same bright, savage, and profane insight he brought to his critically acclaimed one-man shows No Cure for Cancer and Lock 'n Load , and his platinum-selling song, "Asshole. Leary's book will find wide appeal among people who want to laugh out loud or find a guide who matches their view of what's wrong in America and the world-at-large; and fans of his one-man shows, his many movies, and Rescue Me , Leary's Golden Globe and Emmy-nominated television show. Why We Suck is the latest salvo from one of America's most original and biting comic satirists. In Why We Suck, Dr. Denis Leary uses his common sense, and his biting and hilarious take on the world, to attack the politically correct, the hypocritical, the obese, the thin—basically everyone who takes themselves too seriously. He does so with the extra oomph of a doctorate bestowed upon him by his alma mater Emerson College. Proudly Irish American, defiantly working class, with a reserve of compassion for the underdog and the overlooked, Leary delivers blistering diatribes that are penetrating social commentary with no holds barred. Leary brings a particularly acid-tinged tone to his rantings about annoying children, why cats are satanic spawn, what an ugly racket the Catholic Church is and more surprisingly why he loves Oprah. The book will most likely appeal to fans of Leary, and while the material might have been better delivered as a live performance some of these hate-laced monologues are just begging to be read aloud , Leary himself wildly entertains. Jason Price founded the mighty Icon Vs. Hey Denis Leary, you said it … not us – Boston Herald

Leary uses his wit and biting humor to comment on celebrities, those who are politically correct and the obese, for starters. The book stirred up controversy when Leary's quips about autism made headlines in October. Snarky, smart, furious and funny — this book tells you not only why we suck, but offers up opinions and tips to aid us all in hopefully sucking less. An excerpt. Now I will beg you, beseech you — in short, do everything possible in the limited format of this medium to get you to buy any other book within reach right now if this book was a gift and you are at home or on a plane or sitting in a hotel room somewhere I would suggest grabbing a newspaper or a magazine or even your laptop because this book is going to piss you off. If you are a kid — meaning anyone under the age of eighteen — you will soon be filled with shock and awe. If you are under the age of twenty- five you will soon be filled with shock and awe. If you hate Oprah or Oprah tends to drive you insane — you too will need some assistance. This is not a book for the faint of heart or the politically correct or the weak or the extreme right wing or the left of center leftist Democrat or nuns or any other members of any organized religion or New York Yankees fans. I am warning you — I am not here to make you feel all warm and fuzzy or superior to everyone else or all soft and gooey inside. In Why We Suck, Dr. Denis Leary uses his common sense, and his biting and hilarious take on the world, to attack the politically correct, the hypocritical, the obese, the thin—basically everyone who takes themselves too seriously. He does so with the extra oomph of a doctorate bestowed upon him by his alma mater Emerson College. Proudly Irish American, defiantly working class, with a reserve of compassion for the underdog and the overlooked, Leary delivers blistering diatribes that are penetrating social commentary with no holds barred. Leary brings a particularly acid-tinged tone to his rantings about annoying children, why cats are satanic spawn, what an ugly racket the Catholic Church is and more surprisingly why he loves Oprah. The book will most likely appeal to fans of Leary, and while the material might have been better delivered as a live performance some of these hate-laced monologues are just begging to be read aloud , Leary himself wildly entertains. Jason Price founded the mighty Icon Vs. Why We Suck: A Feel Good Guide to Staying Fat, Loud, Lazy and Stupid by Denis Leary

He does so with the extra oomph of a doctorate bestowed upon him by his alma mater Emerson College. Zeroing in on the ridiculous wherever he finds it, Leary unravels his Irish Catholic upbringing, the folly of celebrity, the pressures of family life, and the great hypocrisy of politics with the same bright, savage, and profane insight he brought to his critically acclaimed one-man shows No Cure for Cancer and Lock 'n Load , and his platinum-selling song, "Asshole. Leary's book will find wide appeal among people who want to laugh out loud or find a guide who matches their view of what's wrong in America and the world-at-large; and fans of his one-man shows, his many movies, and Rescue Me , Leary's Golden Globe and Emmy-nominated television show. Denis Leary", a reference to a joke from his stand-up special, No Cure for Cancer. During the show he mentions he wants to write a self-help book entitled " Shut the Fuck Up , by Dr. Denis Leary", with the "advice" being telling the people seeking help the one thing no one has ever told them to do "shut the fuck up" , which he believes would help people more than actual advice. Leary also uses the "Doctor" title because of an honorary doctorate bestowed upon him by his alma mater Emerson College. Phil as "Dr. From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. Overview [ edit ] Leary is credited on the book cover as "Dr. Now available in hardback and as an audiobook. In Why We Suck, Dr. Denis Leary uses his common sense, and his biting and hilarious take on the world, to attack the politically correct, the hypocritical, the obese, the thin—basically everyone who takes themselves too seriously. He does so with the extra oomph of a doctorate bestowed upon him by his alma mater Emerson College. Proudly Irish American, defiantly working class, with a reserve of compassion for the underdog and the overlooked, Leary delivers blistering diatribes that are penetrating social commentary with no holds barred.

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