SEPTEMBER 2019

THE ART OF WOODTURNING Crowley’s Ridge Area Turners practice the craft TBY in Dexter, Missouri THE BEST YEARS Page 10

OFF TO THE RACES PAGE 12

THE SHIPYARD MUSIC FESTIVAL - SEPTEMBER 27 & 28 | PAGE 6 Join us and bring your family!

September 7th Noon-2pm Front Parking Lot

“Live Music” Hot Dogs Snow Cones Popcorn Ice Cream Enjoy Games Like: Horse Race • Pig Race • Basket Toss • Balloon Pop Bouncy House • Dunking Booth • Face Painting

www.thelutheranhomecape.com 2825 Bloomfield Rd. | Cape Girardeau, MO | (573) 335-0158

2 • TBY SEPTEMBER 2019 in this issue FEATURES PAGE 10 PAGE 12 5 things to do this month 4 The Shipyard Music Festival 6 • September 27 & 28, Ivers Square in Downtown Cape Girardeau

The Art of Woodturning 10 • Crowley’s Ridge Area Turners practice their craft in Southeast Missouri

Off to the Races 12 • Old Farts Racing competes at Patton Lawn Mower Races

Bridge Communication Gaps 16 With the Human Connection • Strategies for communicating with PAGE 19 people who have Alzheimer’s Old and young turn out for 19 Egypt Mills festival Columnists • Wendy Boren 20 • Steven Bender 21 A Look Back 22 Out & About 23

CORRECTION: The story “Great Friendship: 40-year friendship built on passion for woodworking” in the August 2019 issue of The Best Years (TBY) should have stated the two friends’ names are Kelly Statler and Otto Moll. In the story and cutlines, Moll’s name was incorrect. TBY regrets the error.

ADVERTISING DIRECTOR FEATURES EDITOR ACCOUNT REPRESENTATIVES Donna Denson Mia Pohlman Logan Clippard, Courtney Corbett, TBY [email protected] [email protected] Elizabeth Gooch, Laura Hulcy, Glenda Mayberry, Don McConnell, THE BEST YEARS PUBLICATION DESIGN Jody Seabaugh and Debbie Stoverink is a Rust Communications publication published in Greg Dowdy September 2019 ©2019 Southeast Missourian, P.O. Box 699, [email protected] Cape Girardeau, MO 63702. Phone: 573-335-6611

TBY SEPTEMBER 2019 • 3 5 things to do this month

September 21: Play Ping Pong

The Third Annual Cape Girardeau Ping Pong Open September 4: Be funny will take place at Cape Bible Chapel from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. The tournament is hosted by Table Tennis of Every Wednesday, the N2O Lounge attached to Laughing Gas Comedy in Cape Girardeau Cape Girardeau and their sponsors. There will be a hosts Amateur Comedy Night. Come to perform or support local comedians as a member competitive and non-competitive bracket, so people of of the audience. Doors open at 4 p.m., sign-ups end at 7 p.m., and the show starts at 8 p.m. all abilities are welcome. For more information, email The event is free to attend or participate in. For more information, call (573) 803-3003. [email protected].

September 12 & 13: Attend a Hot Air Balloon Glow

If you love hot air balloons, wine, beautiful scenery and food, this event is for you! The Chaumette Vineyards & Winery in Ste. Genevieve is hosting September 21: Watch a Balloon Glow starting at 6:30 a.m. Winery guests a SEMO football September 27 & 28: Listen to live will be able to watch the balloons inflate, glow game jams and lift off at sunrise and sunset on Thursday and Friday. It’s encouraged to arrive early; bring Head over to Houck Stadium at Shipyard Music Festival will be held at Ivers Square your own blankets and lawn chairs for the best Southeast Missouri State University in Downtown Cape Girardeau the last weekend of experience. Food and drink will be available for at 1 p.m. to watch the SEMO September. This curated event will have a plethora of purchase, and people of all ages are welcome to Redhawks take the field against the food, drink and interactive experiences and a mix of attend. For more information, call (573) 747-1000. West Virginia State Yellow Jackets. music genres from 11 diverse bands.

4 • TBY SEPTEMBER 2019 AGE SPOTS | JACKIE DOVER The Dating Pool is Getting Deep Say It can be hard to find companionship at almost any age, but it can good night be extra difficult for seniors who choose to jump back in the dating pool. So many obstacles such as health, family and the fact that to your sleep troubles. you have not dated in a few decades can make a person question the wisdom of dating again. Dating has changed radically in the last few years. Many couples now meet on dating websites or dating apps. I have friends who have met their spouses or significant others on dating sites and who recommend them as the best way to find love or companionship. Meeting people in the virtual world has some benefits: you can get to know someone without ever leaving your couch. Many of the sites have a matching feature that allows you to narrow down your choices based on shared interests. That can save time and allow you to focus on things you both enjoy before you ever have that awkward first date. Another benefit to dating in the virtual world is the dating pool is bigger. You have access to many people you would not meet in your everyday life. More people equals more choices, which can help in meeting as many people as you want and can, and then narrowing down your choices based on your specific criteria. Not only are there many people using dating sites, there are also many sites to choose to join, such as eharmony, Match, SilverSing- les and OurTime. Some have certain audiences they target, such as farmers, Christians and even seniors. More than 40 million people At the Sleep Disorders Center, our providers help are using dating sites, so if you are afraid you are the only one, identify the source of your sleep issue so you can you are not. It is very common and can lead to long-lasting friend- ships and romance. enjoy a good night’s rest once again. As with most things nowadays, there can be a downside to virtual dating. The sad fact is that some people lie on dating sites. It can be a little lie, such as shaving a few years off their age or adding a Sleep disorders increase the risk of: few inches to their height, or it can be an entirely made-up profile. - Heart disease Be cautious with what information you share online; you want to strike a balance between being open and being sure not to divulge - High blood pressure all of your private information. It is never a good idea to send - Stroke money to people you meet online; the awesome profile and amazing pictures may be fake or belong to someone else. Many scammers - Fatigue-related accidents will be happy to take your life savings and then some. Use caution, - Depression and if you have doubts, ask someone for their advice. Always plan to meet new people in a public place; that way, you’re not alone and can make a hasty exit if things don’t work out. Ask your primary care provider if a sleep If you decide to try online dating, pick a site you’re comfortable using. Have your friends or family help you set up a profile that study is right for you. To learn more, visit is flattering and truthful. Be open to meeting people outside your comfort zone. Whether you just want to explore the opportunities sfmc.net today! out there and dip your toe in the dating pool or dive in headfirst, use your best judgment and have fun. 211 Saint Francis Drive | Cape Girardeau, MO 63703 | 573-331-5837 About Jackie Jackie Dover is public information director Saint Sleep Disorders at Aging Matters. Francis HEALTHCARE Center

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6 • TBY SEPTEMBER 2019 The Shipyard Music Festival September 27 & 28, Ivers Square in Downtown Cape Girardeau

BY MIA POHLMAN

What’s a music festival? many bands playing on it over multiple days, including the chance to win giveaways from You know. The Newport Folk Festival, Rhode all for one price. And the goal is to participate, Shipyard sponsors, sign up for The Scout daily Island, 1965. The Monterey Pop Festival, Cali- rather than act as passive receivers: in addition email, an email of good news from the South- fornia, 1967. Woodstock, New York, 1969. Those to the music, interactive experiences aimed at east Missouri area and beyond, at thescout.io. are just a few examples. building community take place throughout the So why name it the Shipyard Music Festi- Turns out, the music festival goes back to the open-air venue. val? We’re glad you asked. A shipyard is a place ancient Greeks at Delphi in the 6th Century B.C.: This year, you’ll have the chance to learn where disparate parts are brought together to they held multiple-day events that included how to play Black Jack and win prizes with be assembled and sent out into the world more music and athletic competitions. Throughout Isle Casino, have a chance to win round-trip whole, full of connection and purpose. And the Middle Ages, Celtic and Gaelic cultural fairs tickets to Chicago from United Airlines, listen that’s what the Shipyard Music Festival is all promoted music, with a dance competition as to acoustic acts on a side stage built by River about: bringing people together for music, food, the main event. In Europe, large gatherings Radio between main stage sets, take your photo drink and experiences that build community of the upper class listened to classical music. in a giant photo frame built by Drury Hotels, fill through camaraderie and good cheer. Throughout the 1960s, music festivals were a up your water bottle all festival long and receive Last year at the inaugural 2018 Shipyard way to express countercultural views, meet- First Aid on-site with Saint Francis Healthcare Music Festival, Reverend Doug Job, transitional ing grounds for political activism and change. System, help create a hand-printed letterpress minister of Abbey Road Christian Church in WToday, they are a mainstream summer staple, postcard to mail to a friend with Visit Cape, Cape Girardeau, volunteered as part of the all about connecting people through music, fun enjoy lawn games and beer gardens with Bud crew, picking up litter throughout the festival. and good vibes. Light, decide which organization will receive up One of his favorite parts of the day was discov- We’re having a family-friendly music festi- to $2,019 with The Bank of Missouri and enjoy ering the band Tow’rs. val for the young and young at heart here in coffee and phone charging at a relaxing oasis “I enjoyed their set a lot, but then after- downtown Cape Girardeau, September 27 & built by La Croix Church. The best part? All of wards … [two of the Tow’rs musicians] hung 28, at Ivers Square. Called the Shipyard Music these experiences are included free with your out for a while. They were just down in front Festival and in its second year, 2019 features Shipyard ticket. with the audience, their kid was playing with two days of music right here in our own back- Plus, we’re bringing you for-purchase killer other kids who had come,” Job recalls. “It was yard with 11 nationally-touring bands from food and drink options available from local only a community that lasted a day, but it was Brooklyn, New York; Raleigh, North Carolina; favorite eateries, including mary jane, El Sol, a community.” Nashville, Tennessee; Athens, Georgia; Spring- Imo’s Pizza and Gabriel’s Food + Wine. As a The bottom line: festivals are about bring- field, Missouri; St. Louis and Cape Girardeau. bonus, kids 10 and under get in free with a tick- ing people together through music. This is We’re hoping to see you there. eted adult, and there will be free, fun activities the chance to be a part of creating something Because it’s more than a concert. Modern- planned for them throughout the weekend. new and of big-city caliber, right here in Cape day music festivals share a few common themes Perfect for the grandkids. Girardeau. We hope to see you there, Septem- that make them different: most importantly, the Tickets are on sale now at shipyardfest.com ber 27 & 28. Let’s Shipyard. atmosphere at a music festival is about building for $30, and VIP tickets are $100. And if you community. There is a professional stage with want to stay in the know on all things Shipyard,

TBY SEPTEMBER 2019 • 7 ABOUT THE BANDS:

1 . Jukebox the Ghost chooled, the children of a preacher. Discovering their 8 . Walden Get ready for fun — Jukebox the Ghost is your own musical influences during their teen years and Eric Hangartner, Andrew Mendel, Jamie de Lange Shipyard 2019 co-headliner. The friends from college initially making folk music, this band has settled into and Richard Becker formed Walden while in high now based in Brooklyn have played together for their own funk-Motown-rock sound with gospel school in 2012. Inspired by transcendentalism, they more than a decade, bringing their upbeat pia- threads running throughout. took their name from Henry David Thoreau’s medita- no-synth-guitar-drum sounds to lyrics about love Check them out if you like: Elle King, Alabama tion on society and self-reliance, “Walden.” and growing older that somehow manage to be a Shakes, Lenny Kravitz Check them out if you like: Coldplay, Moon Taxi way you’ve never heard it before (but felt all along). Check them out if you like: Queen, Ben Rector, Love- 5 . Animal Years 9 . Dawson Hollow lytheband If you need a soundtrack for clapping, foot-stamp- These four brothers and one sister from Dawson, ing, all-out dancing in a field at sunset, Animal Years’ Missouri, grew up traveling with their parents as the 2 . Colony House EP “Far From Home” might be your solution. The EP family folk/bluegrass ensemble Link Union. In 2017, This Nashville-based indie rock band and your gets its nostalgic, wandering sound and lyrics from the siblings formed Dawson Hollow, an indie folk Shipyard 2019 co-headliners mix versatile sounds to singer-songwriter Mike McFadden writing the album rock band in which they write and perform their own create something of their own: a little reminiscent of while on the road, missing home. music. Banjo and cello, acoustic guitars and a guy playing the drums with a wooden spoon give way the Beach Boys, a little stripped-down acoustic and a Check them out if you like: The Lumineers, Phillip to long instrumental breaks and unexpected tempo little alternative rock, with lyrical influences from two Phillips, Drew Holcomb & The Neighbors of the band members’ father, contemporary Christian changes. singer-songwriter Steven Curtis Chapman, running 6 . Liz Cooper and the Stampede Check them out if you like: Tow’rs, Mumford and through it all. Liz Cooper and the Stampede are brash and delicate Sons, The Avett Brothers Check them out if you like: The Beach Boys, Neon at the same time. It is these threads woven through- Trees, Jon Foreman out their music that make them so charming as they 10. Tidal Volume share their trance-like psychedelic folk rock that Tidal Volume is a self-described “dumb” band who 3 . American Aquarium soothes even while it cuts to the truth. Close your says they play dumb songs and have dumb music eyes. With all its brazenness, groovy-ness and limit- Raised in a blue-collar farming family in North Caro- videos. Musicians of the “Pun Rock” genre, they less possibility, you just might feel like you’re back lina, BJ Barham writes about rural America, working come to us from St. Louis. This band is endearingly in the ‘60s or ‘70s. Open your eyes: you can’t hate a hard and how you always carry this culture with you, self-deprecating and very, very punny. woman in a floral jumpsuit. no matter how big or far away the city you move Check them out if you like: Jack’s Mannequin, Ludo, to. This alternative country artist mixes elements of Check them out if you like: The Beatles, Phoebe Say Anything Southern rock, folk, country and Americana to tell Bridgers, Brandi Carlile stories, sparing nothing in their honesty. 11. Retro City Check them out if you like: Turnpike Troubadours, 7 . Blackfoot Gypsies In late 2018 and early 2019, this Cape Girardeau Koe Wetzel, Jason Isbell To say this quartet who mixes blues, hillbilly folk and indie rock band’s singles “Waves” and “Holiday” gar- rock’n’roll is wild is not to be ironic. In their perfor- nered more than 100,000 listens on Spotify. “Waves” 4 . The New Respects mances, lyrics and blend of sounds, it’s hard to tell appeared on the “CBS This Morning” broadcast and Gospel and contemporary Christian music (CCM) what’s coming next from this Nashville-based band Spotify playlist in January 2019. influenced these band members’ early lives: sing- out for a raging good time. Check them out if you like: Young the Giant, Foster er-guitarist Jasmine Mullen’s mother is CCM artist Check them out if you like: The Rolling Stones, Bob the People, Mutemath Nicole C. Mullen, and the three Fitzgerald siblings Dylan, Willie Nelson who comprise the rest of the band were homes-

8 • TBY SEPTEMBER 2019 FREE Admission

FREE Lunch!

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A Week of of Gasoline! Monday, Sept. 23 SENIORS ...... Sunday Dinners Pork Steaks 5pm - 7pm Activity Week Dinners Tuesday, Sept. 24 $9.00 - Adults FRESHMAN ...... $4.00 - Children (5-11) Children Under 4 - Free Fried Fish Students will also be looking Wednesday, Sept. 25 for service projects such as washing windows, cutting JUNIORS ...... grass, etc. Give us a call at Fried Chicken 335-6772. Thursday, Sept. 26 SOPHOMORES ...... NOTRE DAME Kettle Beef There will be a Regional High School carwash during each meal. www.notredamehighschool.org • Out Route K Past Wal-Mart

TBY SEPTEMBER 2019 • 9 The Art of Woodturning Crowley’s Ridge Area Turners practice their craft in Southeast Missouri Above: Jim Bliss presents his progress on making a bowl in his workshop in Kennett, Missouri. Below: Jim Bliss uses a lathe in his workshop, The Beetle Shop, to BY ALI KEILLOR | PHOTOS BY JO’NAE EARLS form the interior of a bowl.

10 • TBY SEPTEMBER 2019 Although it’s been around since ancient Egypt, the art of Many things can be made on the wood lathe: anything Left to right: Jim Bliss woodturning has withstood the test of time. It has devel- from bowls to platters, Christmas ornaments, kaleido- demonstrates the process oped into a beautiful craft, with many people around the scopes, doll heads, vases. of woodturning by world involved in this art. “That’s one of the things that’s interesting about it. You placing a trimmed piece In fact, woodturning happens to be popular in South- never run out of stuff to make,” Plummer says. “There’s of wood on the lathe in east Missouri. The Crowley’s Ridge Area Turners practice so much variety. Even the bowls, there’s probably a jillion his Kennett, Missouri, the art of woodturning and enjoy showing others how different ways to carve the bowls.” workshop, forming it into relaxing and beautiful this craft can be. When woodturning, using different species of wood a bowl. The organization began when Bruce Plummer, Jim creates different colors. Different cuts of wood can be Adkins and a few other men who were avid woodturners glued together to create a pattern. and members of the Southeast Missouri Woodturners “You can either decorate a piece that you’re making, Agroup located in Kennett, Missouri, noticed people from or you can just leave it with the natural color,” Plummer the Dexter area were interested in the art form. The says. “It’s a free creative exercise. Sometimes you let the members began meeting approximately eight years ago piece of wood kinda follow what you find.” in the shop of Dexter High School where some members All turners have different uses for their craft. Some I’ve done volunteered and where the shop teacher wanted her will give away their creations, others will sell them, a few students to have the opportunity to take part in the club. others even donate what they make. woodworking Now, Crowley’s Ridge Area Turners meet in members’ Adkins is involved in an organization called Beads of for a living home shops. Courage. The Southwest Association of Turners (SWAT) Jim Bliss, president of Crowley’s Ridge Area Turners, started donating wooden bowls to hospitals after nurses since 1982, has been involved with woodturning for many years. He began looking for a way to reward young cancer patients. but still, has taught woodturning at Arrowmont School of Arts and The children are given glass beads once they pass a certain Crafts and at John C. Campbell Folk School for more than checkpoint in the treatment system, and they store their I fi nd the 20 years. He has also published articles on woodturning. beads in the wooden bowls made by turners. woodturning Bliss says he enjoys the “camaraderie” of the group and The bowls normally have cartoon characters painted “getting together and learning new things.” on them to appeal to the children. Woodturners from relaxing. Change in location has not stopped these members anywhere in the world can donate bowls to the Beads of It’s quiet, — called turners — from practicing their craft. Woodturn- Courage organization. ing can be a long and tiring process, but the outcome is “I’ve never known where any of my bowls ended up. and you can quite extraordinary. I wish I did. They say that the kids really enjoy them,” just let your Most woodturning begins on a wood lathe. The wood Adkins says. is placed on the headstock, which is powered by an elec- The freedom of the craft leaves endless possibility. ideas and tric motor that spins the wood. Some turners start with a plan. Others let the wood do everything “The wood spins, and you have to guide and direct the the planning. wood cutting with the chisel or the gouge to get the shape “I find it kind of relaxing to just start cutting,” Plum- fl ow.” you want,” Plummer says. mer says. “I’ve done woodworking for a living since 1982, but still, I find the woodturning relaxing. It’s quiet, and — Bruce Plummer you can just let your ideas and everything flow.”

TBY SEPTEMBER 2019 • 11 Wayne Goodwin, front, and Vernon Yount compete in a lawn mower race in Patton, Missouri, Saturday, August 10, 2019. Both men are part of the Old Farts Racing team, a band of racers from Missouri and Illinois who, in their 70s, are often at least twice as old as their competitors. Off to the Races Old Farts Racing competes at Patton Lawn Mower Races

BY MIA POHLMAN | PHOTOS BY TYLER GRAEF

12 • TBY SEPTEMBER 2019 There’s one rule for joining Old Farts Racing, a lawn mower racing team in Patton, Missouri: you have to be 65 years old or older. It’s a club that was formed approximately five or six years ago by Leonard Crites, Bob Crites, Carl Crites, Rick Fox, Wayne Goodwin and Vernon Yount. Inspired by Carl’s and his grandson’s racing, the other members decided they wanted to get involved in the sport, too. Due to Leonard’s, Bob’s and Carl’s health issues, Fox, Goodwin and Yount now comprise the active racers on the team. “I like the competition,” says Yount, 73, who lives in Patton. “And I just like to race. The adrenaline part of it, you know? Makes you feel younger, maybe, huh?” Yount first started racing lawnmowers seven or eight years ago, after watching the event in Allenville. With his wife’s blessing, he decided to get into the sport. Now, he runs his lawnmower in the General Class C class. Fox’s story is similar: he first got involved with lawn mower racing after Lenoard let him drive his lawn mower for a couple of laps around the track. “I fell in love with it,” says Fox, 69, from Glenn Carbon, Illi- nois. “I love the excitement of it. Every time it comes up to my race, I just get butterflies in my stomach. I want to get out there. It’s like, here we go.” The races work like this: each racer does a time trial and is placed in a class according to his or her time. Class A includes the racers with the fastest time trials, Class D the racers with the slowest, and racers in the B and C classes fall somewhere in between. Next comes the heat race, which determines where a racer will be positioned in the feature race. The feature race is the one in which racers can win points and plaques. Each feature race usually includes 10 to 12 laps around the track. If lawn mowers breakdown during a race, it’s up to the racer to get it fixed before the next race of the evening, in order to be able to participate. Although Yount says he spends a lot of time “piddling” with his lawnmowers — he has approximately 15 to 20 mowers at his house, although most are in pieces, he says — he doesn’t work on Above: a lawn mower crosses the finish souping up his motors like many of the racers do. He says he likes line during a heat race in Patton, Missouri, racing a little bit slower because “it’s more enjoyable when you Saturday, Aug. 10, 2019. Below: Vernon Yount, know you’re not going to get somebody run over you.” Rick Fox and Wayne Goodwin listen as an That’s the opposite of Leonard’s mower Fox has been running organizer addresses drivers before racing. recently, however: the engine was shipped to North Dakota to be built up by outfitters there, made up like a dragster. Each racer’s lawnmower is named with a number: Yount’s is 419 because his birthday is April 19, Goodwin’s is 42 because it was the number on a new chassis he bought and Fox’s mower is 49, which he chose because he was born in 1949. The sport doesn’t come without risks, no matter what class you’re racing in, though: at a recent race, the dirt track was rough and the steering on Yount’s mower broke, causing him to run

TBY SEPTEMBER 2019 • 13 NOW READ THIS | SARAH VOHSEN “The Lost Letters of William Woolf,” by Helen Cullen

There’s something magical about getting a letter in the mail, its contents scrawled in perfectly-scripted cursive meant just for you. And William Woolf, a letter detective at the Dead Letters Depot, feels this same sense of euphoria when he sticks his hand deep into a bag of lost letters to pull out the one he is fated to read and hopefully return to its rightful recipient. However, William finds more than he intended when he pulls out a blue envelope with silver letters addressed only to “My Great Love.” Something about this letter compels him to hide it away and read it anywhere but at work. And when he does, he becomes fixated on this letter — signed only with the name “Winter” — and the mystery surrounding it. Winter’s words swim around his head as he compares the woman in the letters and her feelings about love with his own wife, Claire, and Vernon Yount, left, watches his friend Wayne Goodwin their failing relationship. And when additional letters from Winter complete a time trial before racing. arrive at the depot, William begins to sink into her correspondence, each letter kindling the kinship he feels with the mysterious woman he’s never met. With his marriage teetering on the breaking point and Winter’s letters into the fence while going close to 40 mph. And in the past, luring him toward someone who could Yount has broken collar bone and gotten “some bad bruises” be his soulmate, William searches for from racing. the answers that could lead him in the Still, as an ever-fierce competitor, he’s not giving up any right direction, if only he knew what advice for his strategy in the races. that was. “Some of it’s secrets that I ain’t telling nobody,” he says, I enjoyed reading Helen Cullen’s laughing. “If I did that, there’d be a whole lot more people “The Lost Letters of William Woolf” finish the race.” because both the characters and their One thing each member of the team agrees on is how much problems were relatable. I also appre- fun the races are; they encourage everyone to come to a race ciated the way Cullen incorporated to see for themselves. letters as a way to learn more about “Come out and experience the thrill. It’s fun,” says Good- the characters and to develop the plot. win, 74, from Waterloo, Illinois. “If they come out and saw This novel had a leisurely pace, and I liked taking a closer look at it, they would come back, trust me.” the characters and the situation without feeling rushed. I would Although Yount says people don’t usually say anything recommend it to anyone looking for a little bit of romance in a about his age in relation to racing lawn mowers, he realizes contemporary setting. it would be easier if he were younger. He’s not letting age This book is available at the library in print, and if you are looking stop him from doing what he loves, however. He counsels to read something similar to this, you might want to try “The Love people to stay in shape. Song of Miss Queenie Hennessy.” This stand-alone sequel to “The “I’d like to go back 30 years and do it. You know, my bones Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry” shows Queenie Hennessy’s rela- just hold up a lot better if I was 30 years younger,” Yount says, tionship with Harold Fry as postcards of his travels, reaching her laughing. “But I mean, I tell you what, I’m here to enjoy what before she passes away. These postcards lead her to reminisce about I’ve done. You know what, hey, I like to do it, and that’s what their history. The library has this title in print and as an audiobook. I want to do as long as I can.”

About Sarah

Sarah Vohsen is a member of the Adult Services department at the Cape Girardeau Public Library.

14 • TBY SEPTEMBER 2019 DELICIOUS READING | BROOKE CLUBBS

Want to go?

Patton Lawn Mower Racing takes place at the Patton Saddle Club in Patton, Missou- ri, just off Highway 51. The gates open at 4 p.m., and the races start at 6 p.m., with refreshments available for purchase bene- fitting the Lion’s Club. Admission is $5 per vehicle; come for a night of family-friendly entertainment!

Upcoming races: Submitted photo

September 7 Modern Honey and Copycat September 21 October 5 Levain Chocolate Chip Cookies October 19 When I was planning our fami- up online and was greeted with ly’s trip to New York City this a site advertising a variety of summer, I turned to various sweets. friends of ours who live in the However, it was clear the choc- city for the advice. They rarely olate chip walnut cookie was added another sight to see to the showstopper, described as our itinerary, but they often “Our signature cookie. Crispy suggested places to eat. New outside with a satisfyingly Yorkers are famous for starting thick and gooey center. Every food trends like the Cronut and bite is packed with semisweet rainbow bagel, but also eschew- chocolate chips and chunks of ing anything pedestrian or too walnuts. The New York Times touristy. We made sure to hit says these ‘may possibly be the their recommendations for the largest, most divine chocolate best burgers and pizza and tried chip cookies in Manhattan.’” to avoid the spots they thought Levain Bakery was founded in were too pricey or overhyped. 1994 by friends Connie McDon- When I was researching our ald and Pam Weekes and has lunch options for the day we now reached a legendary status would spend at the American where locals and tourists alike Museum of Natural History, I line up outside to get in the tiny realized we would be close to a Upper West Side shop. I knew we famous bakery. I can’t remem- would need to join them. ber where I first heard of it, but On our last full day in the city, when I saw the name “Levain,” after exploring the museum A driver zooms past the announcer's I knew it was familiar. I looked it from morning to afternoon, we table at the track in Patton, Missouri. CONTINUED ON PAGE 22

About Brooke Brooke Clubbs is a Jackson mom of three, a free- lance writer and a communications instructor.

TBY SEPTEMBER 2019 • 15 Bridge Communication Gaps with the Human Connection Strategies for communicating with people who have Alzheimer’s

BY BROOKE CLUBBS

At 9 a.m., Kaye puts on her coat and picks up her purse, readying for her dental appointment.

I explain to her that the appointment is not until 10:40 and it will take us only 10 minutes to drive to the dentist’s office.

She looks puzzled, but puts her purse down and takes off her coat. Then she asks: “What does 10:40 look like?”

I try to explain, as I would try to explain to a child how to tell time. She says again, “But what does 10:40 look like?” Once more I try to explain. She still looks puzzled, and then annoyed. “You don’t like me, do you?” she says, tears filling her eyes.

“I love you,” I say, moving to embrace her. We both will need more hugs today.

— “Dental Appointment,” from “Darkness Descending: Love Poems for a Beloved Stricken with Alzheimer’s” by Robert Hamblin, emeritus professor of English and founding director of the Center for Faulkner Studies at

Stock image Stock Southeast Missouri State University. Used with permission.

16 • TBY SEPTEMBER 2019 A common misconception when caring And because one of the only constants of for people who have dementia symp- caring for someone with dementia is incon- toms is that you can “set them straight” sistency, Bullis suggests a book like “The Resources for you when they become confused. Numer- Best Friends Approach to Alzheimer’s ous researchers have instead encouraged Care,” by David Troxel and Virginia Bell, According to the Greater Missouri Chapter of engaging in therapeutic communication. which provides a model of caregiving to the Alzheimer’s Association, 110,000 people in Therapeutic communication uses a vari- help with a variety of situations. Missouri are living with Alzheimer’s disease, and ety of emotion-oriented approaches. Redirecting can also provide an effective more than 314,000 family members and friends Laura Wayman, author of “A Loving model for communicating with someone are providing care for them. Compared to care- givers of people without dementia, caregivers Approach to Dementia Care,” recently gave who has Alzheimer’s or dementia. Hanna of those with Alzheimer’s disease indicate a presentation at Comfort Keepers In-Home Bresnan, LPN and manager of the memory substantial emotional, financial and physical Senior Care in Cape Girardeau. care unit at the Lutheran Home in Cape difficulties. The Greater Missouri Chapter, which “Communicating with a person who has Girardeau, uses the motto “Don’t correct; covers 86 counties in Missouri and 10 in Illinois, dementia symptoms has less to do with your redirect.” To do this, she says she follows provides education and support to these care- words than it has to do with the feelings you the resident’s lead and sticks with the time givers. A 24-hour helpline is available at 1 (800) Aproject,” Wayman says. “Dementia impacts period they indicate they are in. If they ask 272-3900. memory, processing information, reason- her about picking up their child who is a ing and language, so it becomes difficult grown adult, she might say, “Oh, school is The Alzheimer’s Association will present an for individuals with dementia symptoms still in session, so they are OK.” She also educational program entitled “10 Warning Signs to understand what others ask of them.” distracts them with activities and snacks. of Alzheimer’s” at the Cape Girardeau Senior Wayman, who has a degree in gerontology When caring for a person with demen- Center on Wednesday, September 4, at 9:30 and works with individuals at Aegis Living, tia or visiting them at a care facility, it a.m. For more information about the one-hour program, call (573) 382-1978. discusses several practical strategies care- may seem easier to avoid trying to have a givers can use to effectively communicate conversation. However, Diane Wicker, life A caregivers’ support group meets from 7 to with their loved one. enrichment coordinator at the Lutheran 8:30 p.m. on the second Tuesday of the month “In order to help the individual with these Home, encourages a variety of activities to at the Lutheran Home. For more information, challenges, use gentle and positive action either start conversation or just enjoy time contact Melody Harpur at (573) 331-8101. The statements, rather than questions, options together. For example, instead of asking Alzheimer’s Association and Lutheran Family & Children’s Services also offer a caregiver sup- or details,” she advises. “Instead of asking a loved one to remember the people and port group that meets at the Cape Girardeau if the person wants to go for a drive in the places in photographs, talk about what is Public Library. For more information about this country, simply say, ‘Let’s go for a drive.’ happening in the images, and see if they group, contact Lisa Thompson at (417) 429- Instead of greeting the individual with, want to make a contribution. For example, 0438 or visit alz.org. ‘How are you today?,’ use a positive action saying, “Well, look at that rooster!” while statement such as, ‘You look like you feel pointing to a photograph. Even if they don’t The Family Caregiver Program through Aging great today.’” remember the picture was taken on their Matters provides education, resources, assis- In addition to focusing on how your farm, you can enhance their self-esteem by tance and support for caregivers; their number actions and words make your loved one making comments like, “I love looking at is 1 (800) 392-8771. Check their website for feel, validation therapy is another way to these pictures with you.” Planting a flower information about a Facebook Live Support Group for Caregivers coming soon, at aging- communicate effectively with someone who in a pot together or rubbing lotion on their matters2u.com. has Alzheimer’s or dementia. Kathy Bullis, hands or feet can lead to conversation or family caregiver program director for Aging nonverbal communication that lets the “A Loving Approach to Dementia Care,” by Matters, encourages caregivers to use vali- person know they are loved, a feeling they Laura Wayman, is available at laurawayman. dation therapy, which places more emphasis will remember longer than words. com. She can be contacted directly at help@ on the emotional aspect of a conversation It can be traumatic for caregivers to laurawayman.com. and less on the factual content. witness someone they love slowly losing For example, if the person with dementia their memories and ability to process “The Best Friends Approach to Alzheimer’s Care” begins asking for his or her mother, instead information. Communicating with an indi- is available at bestfriendsapproach.com. of saying, “Now, you know she died a long vidual who has dementia symptoms may be time ago,” you could say, “Tell me about filled with uncertainty. However, by focus- Local Southeast Missouri State University emer- your mom.” Bullis also suggests that if a ing on emotion, validating their feelings, itus professor of English Robert Hamblin’s book loved one with dementia seems particularly gently redirecting and planning ahead for of poems called “Darkness Descending: Love agitated, recognize they might not be angry potential pitfalls, some of those gaps can be Poems for a Beloved Stricken with Alzheimer’s” but rather unable to communicate what is bridged with human connection, and mean- is available at amazon.com. All proceeds from the sale of the book go to the Alzheimer’s really bothering them. Check for pain and ingful moments can still be shared. Association. look for signs of stress in their environment.

TBY SEPTEMBER 2019 • 17 Sound Advice

How can I better communicate with my friends and family who The Trent Essner, Au.D. have a hearing loss? Cathy Willen, Au.D. Penguin Party! Here are a few tips for communicating with 6. State your topic upfront and slow down FEATURING someone who has a hearing problem. when you speak- you don’t always have to 1. Make sure you are in the same room with talk louder. COCKTAIL HOUR good lighting and face the person when 7. If needed to clarify the topic, write down the you speak. key words. 2. Allow them to see your facial expressions and try not to cover your mouth with your hands. 8. If they have a hearing aid or assistive device, C 3. Re-phrase rather than repeat. When asked to make sure that it is working properly. repeat, often it is just one word that is making 9. If you think they may need hearing assistance, GenX the sentence difficult. Instead of repeating the make them an appointment to see an Awkward Timing exact sentence, try to use different words. audiologist for a thorough evaluation of the Come Chill and Support Our Schools 4. Reduce the background noise whenever situation. (573-651-3404) possible. 10. And lastly, remember that your goal is to Saturday,February 8, 2020 at 6 pm 5. In a noisy restaurant, let the one with a hearing loss have the seat with their back against the connect with the person. When you say Drury Plaza Conference Center • Call 573-651-0555 wall. This puts the people they want to hear in “never mind” it creates negative feelings and to reserve your table now front of them and less noise behind them. doesn’t benefit the relationship. https://foundation.capetigers.com/ • [email protected] 201 South Mt. Auburn Road Cape Girardeau, MO Call today at (573) 651-3404

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18 • TBY SEPTEMBER 2019 Above, left to right: Gary Walker of Bell City, Missouri; Brian Hartlein of Sikeston, Missouri; and Mack Walton, also of Sikeston, converse while watching the garden tractor pull during Egypt Fest 2019 on the grounds of the Egypt Mills Antique Tractor Club in Egypt Mills. At Left: Anna Brown, 5, of Marble Hill, Missouri, Gary Scates of Dexter, Missouri, pulls in the garden tractor pull during sits with her grandfather, Mickey Brown Egypt Fest 2019 on the grounds of the Egypt Mills Antique Tractor Club of Marble Hill, as Mickey works the garden in Egypt Mills. tractor pull during Egypt Fest 2019 . Old and Young Turn Out for Egypt Mills Festival

WORDS AND PHOTOS BY JACOB WIEGAND

With the roaring sound of the tractor pull, such as Massey Ferguson, Ford, Case and Cub sled, similar to those used in regular tractor Egypt Fest 2019 was in full swing. Cadet. pulls, was the challenge for youngsters in the Held on the grounds of the Egypt Mills Some were souped up and others more kiddie pedal pull. Antique Tractor Club along Highway 177 modest. The blaring of a pull by Ronald But it was a power wheels mud bog where north of Cape Girardeau, old and young from Kucera Jr. prompted his grandchildren many of that same youthful generation would the community took part in the festivities. Bryson and Carter Trowbridge, 4 and 2 see who could farthest navigate their plastic David Powers said it was the 37th holding respectively, of Millersville, Missouri, to vehicle through a track of mud. the festival held this year on the weekend cover their ears during one of their grand- “Kind of old school” was how Powers of Aug. 24 and 25. Powers has lived in Egypt father’s pulls. described things at the festival. Mills for the last quarter century and is now Once the adults finished their pulls for the “Seems like all my neighbors are here,” the president of the tractor club. day, the kids had their own chances in compe- grandfather said. “It’s just a little small-town The adults had their garden tractors, some tition. setting and, I don’t know, it’s just simple.” throwing up dust clouds from the dirt track, A pedal-operated McCormick Farmall, The antique tractor pull was scheduled for for Saturday’s competition, including brands small and red, with an attached weighted Sunday at the final day of the festival.

W TBY SEPTEMBER 2019 • 19 COLUMN | WENDY BOREN

Paradoxes

Life is full of paradoxes. Like picking end, the oceans reclaims it, anyway. up dead flowers on a loved one’s grave Paradoxes. site — a kind of death for the dead. I have been honored and privileged Or stepping on old, soggy, torn ticket to work with a generation of people The quieter you stubs from that baseball game some- who understands paradoxes and one waited months to attend; now the who have taught me to look for the become, the ticket is rendered unnecessary, but connections and cycles in life. This more you are without that ticket, the experience generation has shown me that often would not have happened. Or even not doing or talking provides the best able to hear.” like finding a gift card you’d forgotten insight and decision. Listening, wait- about or a piece of chocolate you saved ing, watching and simply having faith — Rumi until you needed that special boost more often than not shows us that life only to discover the card expired, the does work itself out. chocolate gone white and yet, life went And so I have done this as well in on, other special moments happened, trying to figure out my own paradox. and you didn’t even miss them. Para- I began writing this column because I doxes. love to write, and I love this audience. Our current lifestyle is its own para- Yet lately, I have experienced writer’s dox — we know more now than we’ve block. So after much sunset-watching, ever known before, but in truth, we’re wine-sipping and cricket-chirping, missing the important things. We’ve I’ve decided to retire my column. forgotten to look and listen and hear. I hope to pursue a different type of BY WENDY BOREN Eyes focused on screens do not see the writing that goes a bit more back to sunset, ears plugged with cords do not my roots and will hopefully one day Wendy Boren is a hear the changes in a child’s voice show another generation about these registered nurse and vol- providing natural moments of curi- cycles and connections. Thank you for unteers as an Alzheimer’s osity and inquisition. The constant your compliments, your laughter and Association Community push to do more, have more and be your encouragements throughout the Educator (AACE) and Blue more have, paradoxically, left us feel- past four years — they’ve meant more Mind Ambassador. Wen- ing exhausted, broke and unfulfilled. than you will ever know. Now grab a dy’s mantra is simple: We buy and buy, and then we purge smoky cup of Earl Gray, curl up on “Life shouldn’t change the very things we bought. We revel in the patio and just breathe. There’s no just because you need the beauty of our earth, buying ocean- paradox in that. a little help. And there’s front real estate which erodes the very God bless. — Wendy always hope.” land idea we mortgaged, and in the

20 • TBY SEPTEMBER 2019 COLUMN | STEVEN BENDER

Keeping the Love Going

Loosing a beloved canine friend can be a heartbreaking expe- rience for some, and while many who lose a furry friend never take on another dog, some of us start all over again. My beloved 8-year-old chocolate lab, Abbie, was put to sleep April 1 after a mast cell tumor became too aggressive too quickly. She had been through so much: two knee surger- ies, tooth extraction, lipoma removals and a tumor (a removal attempt was made but wasn’t possible). But she had the best life I could give her: she fetched ducks, chased rabbits, ate chicken nuggets. Some of you might remember when she “wrote” a couple of columns for me when she was a pup. Even though she left a hole in my heart, as did Belle before her, I took some weeks to let her go and began looking for a new pup. On April 26, I’d taken my mother along to pick up my new 8-week-old chocolate lab, Dawn, who I named after the water- fowling book “By Dawn’s Early Light.” While picking up that pup, we saw other pups from another litter, too. That was too much for Mom, and she wanted her own pup. Needless to say, there are two pups at home now, both six months old, and they are a handful. Both have already had a procedure to help prevent possi- ble hip dysplasia. Dawn seems to have the condition already, which is unfortunate because I so badly want her to be another duck dog, which requires slogging in mud, running and swim- ming. We’ll know more in a few months if the surgery helped. Mom named “her dog” Violet for no other reason than she and her granddaughter, Kelsey, liked the name. It’s possible Submitted photo we’ll have Violet trained to be a certified therapy dog in the next year. We’ll see. Mom was recently in a residential rehab; I took Violet in to see her a few times, and she did great. If you want a laugh and to follow what these two pups get into or become, you can follow them on my Facebook page at facebook.com/steven.bender.121. If we put Violet through ther- apy dog training, I’ll create a page just for her. Even though losing “man’s best friend” is a difficult life situ- ation, letting some time pass and starting back over doesn’t devalue the previous dog, but rather helps honor her through BY STEVEN BENDER taking on a new family member and keeping the love going.

TBY SEPTEMBER 2019 • 21 A LOOK BACK | SHARON SANDERS DELICIOUS READING CONTINUED FROM PAGE 15

walked to the bakery. Bob and the temperature to get the outside kids strolled around the neigh- browned but keep the inside borhood while I waited in a line gooey and more. My kids were that moved swiftly and was full of thrilled to see these huge cook- happy people anticipating cookie ies awaiting them when they goodness. When it was my turn got home from their first day of to go in the blue door and down school: a little taste of NYC as we the steps into the shop, I had my settled back into our routines in order ready to go. Soon, I was on Jackson, Missouri. my way back up and out, swing- ing a surprisingly hefty brown Ingredients paper bag by the handles. We • 1 cup cold butter, cut into then headed to Central Park. I small cubes had heard of a variety of spots • 1 cup brown sugar inside the massive green space • 1/2 cup sugar that were ideal for picnics, like • 2 eggs Sheep Meadow and Strawberry • 1 1/2 cups cake flour Fields, but we happened upon • 1 1/2 cups flour some benches overlooking The • 1 teaspoon cornstarch Lake shortly after entering that • 3/4 teaspoon baking soda seemed ideal. Sharing our cookies • 3/4 teaspoon salt and enjoying that peaceful spot • 2 cups chocolate chips was one of my favorite moments • 2 cups walnuts, roughly of the trip. chopped While I knew I couldn’t recreate that moment, I thought I might at Instructions least try to recreate the cookies. • Preheat oven to 410 degrees. I discovered the copycat I desired • In a large mixing bowl, cream on a blog called Modern Honey at together cold cubed butter, modernhoney.com. brown sugar and sugar for Melissa Stadler started Modern four minutes or until creamy. Honey in 2015. After winning • Add eggs one at a time, several baking contests, having mixing well after each one. a blog was another outlet for her • Stir in flours, cornstarch, (G.D. Fronabarger ~ Southeast Missourian archive) creativity in the kitchen. She has baking soda and salt. Mix Arthur Job, who farmed west of Cape Girardeau, arrived at the SEMO District many categories of recipes on the until just combined to avoid Fair Sept. 19, 1957, with samples of his prolific corn hybrid. Job expected a site, but clearly her favorites are overmixing. Stir in chocolate 15-acre field of corn to produce almost 150 bushels per acre. cookies. She had visited Levain chips and walnuts. Bakery several times and went • Separate dough into large through dozens of revisions as balls and place on a light- she tried to recreate their recipe. ly-colored cookie sheet. Finally, she landed on the one she They are bigger than you thinks comes as close as she can think! You will fit four cook- get. ies on one large cookie sheet. The chemistry of cooking is The dough makes eight extra About Sharon fascinating to me; I loved read- large cookies. Sharon Sanders is the resident historian at the ing about how she tried to find • Bake for nine to 12 minutes Southeast Missourian. Visit her “From the Morgue” the right combination of flours or until golden brown on the blog at semissourian.com/blogs for a look at more to help make the cookie thick top. Let them rest for at least local history. but not scone-like, the right oven 10 minutes to set.

22 • TBY SEPTEMBER 2019 PHOTOS BY JACOB WIEGAND, TYLER GRAEF AND BEN MATTHEWS out & about How locals live their 'best years' in Southeast Missouri

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1. Dave Hardesty of Cape Girardeau paddles to shore during the third annual Yak 'n Run at Trail of Tears State Park in Cape Girardeau County. 2. Dan James of Jackson pulls in the garden tractor pull during Egypt Fest 2019 on the grounds of the Egypt Mills Antique Tractor Club in Egypt Mills. 3. Notre Dame Regional High School former principal Brother David Anthony Migliorino, OSF, leads a final cheer for the school during a send-off ceremony at Notre Dame Regional High School in Cape Girardeau. 4. Barbara Morgan of Jackson, left, and Joan Singer of Cape Girardeau look at artwork during an opening reception for Southeast Missouri State University's Summer Art Academy exhibit at the Arts Council of Southeast Missouri. 5. Sikeston resident Mike McReynolds carries his 18-month-old granddaughter Rebekah Deane 4 5 near the calf-roping chutes during the Sikeston Jaycee Bootheel Rodeo.

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24 • TBY SEPTEMBER 2019