Page 6 November 19, 2009 EL SEGUNDO HERALD No Defense for the Trojans Frankly Plank By Duane Plank to not compete this weekend, and take some By Duane Plank ESPN, part of the broadcast team covering Whoa is me, Trojan football fans. What the time to figure out what the heck has gone Here’s a question for ya. Does anyone out Monday Night Football. Gruden has been heck happened last week against the smart wrong in the last month. “I’m glad that we there actually use their garage as a spot to linked with job openings in South Bend kids from NoCal, the young men playing have a bye,” Carroll told a scribe. park your car? Or is it crammed with a bunch before, but probably will opt to explore NFL with the pigskin for the Stanford Cardinal? By the way, I guess this will end, for good, of nebulous overflow and assorted rummage coaching opportunities later this winter after What a shellacking, 55-21. On the hallowed any of the ridiculous talk of SC’s bumbling sale-type items? Just wondering. Don’t think the inevitable firings that will occur at the home turf of the Coliseum, no less. In the freshman QB Matt Barkley and the Heisman I have ever used any of the garages at any conclusion of the regular season. month of November, a month that Coach Trophy. Kid is reverting to the turnover ma- of the mansions that I have lived in for the So that leaves Brian Kelly, coach at the Pete Carroll and his squad have owned since chine that he was rumored to be in his final expressed purpose they were built for. University Cincinnati, as the hot name on the Carroll took over the Trojan program. year in high school. Shocker there. Heck, Good news for my Dodger fan friends. shortlist of potential Weis replacements. Kelly For the second time in less than a month, some folks are claiming that Barkley isn’t The mellifluous tones of iconic announcer is in the process of guiding the red-hot (10- the Trojan defense was dismantled and em- even the best freshman QB in the Ciudad, Vin Scully will continue to be heard on the 0) Bearcats to their second straight Big East barrassed by a Pac-10 foe, relegating the so help me Kevin Prince! airwaves, at least through the 2010 season. Title. Of course, Florida Coach Urban Meyer proud Trojans to insignificant also-rans in And to think, about three weeks ago, a Scully recently said that he pretty much has always considered the Notre Dame gig the conference standings. And Carroll doesn’t bye would have been considered any game is taking it one year at a time. And why his “dream job,” and if the Gators continue sound like a guy who has a handle on fix- played against the Air Force Blue football not, the gentleman is about to turn 82 and on their merry ways and capture another ing the problem, or stopping the bleeding team from Westwood. Sorry KA, but that’s apparently feels the need to keep working national championship, maybe Meyer could on defense. just the truth. But the Bruins have actually so that he can help to financially take care somehow be pried out of Gainesville by the Said a probably shell shocked Carroll to won two games in a row, heading into their of some freeloading family members. Said good folks who control the purse strings in reporters after the carnage ended: “I’m not Rose Bowl contest this Saturday against Ari- the voice, “I’m trying to figure out if I can South Bend. of a clear mind right now. I’m not really sure zona State. Sure loss for the Bruins. Isn’t it walk away. I’m the horse pulling the wagon Making dinner for the kid the other night... how to deal with this.” Carroll had voiced grand how supportive I am of the locals? with a lot of people on the wagon, so I am okay, I threw some stuff in the microwave, similar sentiments a couple of weeks ago The Bruins and relentlessly positive coach really not sure.” and I guess that I didn’t know that you don’t when the Trojans traveled North and were Rick Neuheisel rolled the nincompoops from Translation from Frankly: Lots of folks are put coated paper plates in the microwave? humiliated by the conference leading Oregon Washington State last Saturday something like riding on the financial coattails of the highly Unless you want to start a fire and possibly Ducks, 47-21. 43-7. A proud win for the Bruins and some of compensated announcer who has worked for burn down the mansion. No harm, no foul, Heard something interesting while listening their supporters, to be sure. While watching the team for nearly 60 years. Scully said that the fire was quickly extinguished, but it did to the radio the other day. The guy doing the game out and about, was assaulted by he doesn’t like spending time away from his remind me of the time when I put a burrito, the talking made, to me, a valid point. His a couple of well-meaning Bruin fans, who wife of 36 years, but said, “Then again, I wrapped in tin foil, into the microwave. That contention was that the Trojans have lost so kept pounding a drum or something as their look at our large family, and in this particular also started a small conflagration inside the many ballsy, experienced assistant coaches guys walloped WASU, and the Trojans were economic time, they could use some help, mic, which we also survived. Stupid is as over the years (Norm Chow, Lane Kiffin, taking it in the shorts. so that factors into the decision.” stupid does, right. Steve Sarkisian, Nick Holt), that they may These guys were a tad bit overheated, and Translation: “Time for some of my kinfolk Like to thank the kid, who chimed in, hop- be getting out-coached big-time. Especially were starting to, shall we say, annoy us folks to get a job.” Scully, whose son Michael was ing to make me feel better, that he foolishly by Pac-10 teams, who face the Trojans each who were there diligently following all of the killed in a helicopter crash in 1994, has five put some kind of pen in the microwave a and every year, and may have finally figured collegiate games, busting our humps gathering living children and 18 grandkids. few years back, and that didn’t work out out a way to stymie Carroll. info for these riveting columns. I may have Of course, with the upcoming McCourt too well, either. He was trying to heat the The theory is that Carroll has surrounded mentioned to the Bruin guys something to divorce, who knows what will happen with sucker up, he said. Course he was in fifth himself with relatively inexperienced “yes- the effect that it was great that the Bruins the team and its most valuable employee? grade at the time, and I have had some 25 men” on the coaching staff, and that no were beating up on a junior varsity team, No way that whoever is making the final years or so to figure out how to use one of one will stand up to the coach if he has an but it was someone way funnier and droller financial decisions moving forward would the greatest inventions in modern history. idea or scheme that may be hair-brained. than me who quipped about the nice win tamper with Scully, try to force a pay cut Speaking of fires, er, fired, ex-Morningside Sounds like a plausible theory. Very suc- over the “Vassar knitting team.” Wow. Great on the guy just because he is a part-time High hoop superstar Byron Scott was given cessful teams, be it on the pro or collegiate shot, way to go, Girl. And sorry, all of you employee not working Blue broadcasts when his walking papers last week by the NBA’s level, lose their best assistants year-in and Vassar College fans. Didn’t know that you the team travels East of Denver. Then again, New Orleans Hornets, and if the ex-Laker year-out. Other folks are always going to had a knitting team. Jamie McCourt may need some extra cash star and established NBA winner doesn’t cherry-pick the assistants deemed to be the Allrightee, before getting on to the NFL, for a new pair of trendy shoes, or a fresh resurface, today, with your sad-sack Clippers, best and the brightest. need to give some futbol props to the LA bouquet of flowers... then the fix must be in. Carroll is a smart guy and should be able to Galaxy, who have advanced to the MLS Last add on Scully: I sure hope that the Scott was let go after a sputtering 3-6 start get the kids to regroup and have the Trojans Championship Game, which takes place Dodger brain trust has a succession plan in by the Hornets, but one of their wins was a ready for their next game, which happens Sunday night in Seattle. Think that they are mind for the day that the man hangs up his 28- point stomping of the hapless Clippers on next weekend against the gutty little Bruins. playing the team from Salt Lake City. Saw microphone. Because none of the current the hardwood at Staples. Had to be another But even the always positive Carroll, who some of the Galaxy’s 2-0 semifinal win over guys who handle the broadcasts when Vin lovely evening at the gym for the Clipper preaches the mantra “compete,” seemed ready Houston Dynamo last Friday night. Viewed it is vacationing can cut it as the numero uno faithful, all 10 of them, who must be ques- guy in L.A. Can you imagine listening to tioning whether there is a more fruitful way See Trojans, page 21 nine innings of Charlie Steiner every day to waste/spend their entertainment dollars. for seven months? Me either. Like flushing their discretionary greenbacks NASCAR GUY noted that I completely straight down the commode. Holly Main Liquor ignored the Midshipmen’s stirring upset Anyway, the Clippers are off to their typi- & WINE WAREHOUSE victory at Notre Dame a couple of weeks cal horrendous start, and GM/Coach Mike ago. Big deal, I said. 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