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BP, 3898 Salem Avenue Mitchell’s Cleaners 4205 N. Main Street 14 Karat Gold, Sunoco, 3900 Salem Avenue 1872 N. Gettysburg Avenue Stromas Flowers & Gift Shop 4180 N. Gettysburg Avenue NorthRiver Coffeehouse & Eatery Tony Yancey, Insurance Agency, 2331 N. Gettysburg Avenue Table 44 Restaurant 323 Salem Avenue Insurance Warehouse, Payday Stone Plans, 2331 N. Gettysburg Ave. 2160 N. Gettysburg Avenue Mary-Anns Southern Kitchen 2456 N. Gettysburg Avenue Maranatha Christian Fellowship Gold Stone Jewelry, Inc./Smoke Shop, 3651 Salem Avenue Nabali’s Wireless Church (Youth Center) 4501 Wolf Rd 2174 N. Gettysburg Avenue Stop-N-Shop, 1990 N. Gettysburg Avenue Gz Smoke Shop 2454 N. Gettysburg Avenue $1.00 Store, 2267 N. Gettysburg Ave Miss Ann’s Southern Style Kitchen, 3295 N. Siebenthaler Avenue Gettysburg Plaza 233 N. Gettysburg Avenue Elegant Beauty & Hair Supply Beauty & Barbers Inc., DF & J’s The Computer Shop 4317 Salem Avenue Barber Shop, 3233 W. Siebenthaler Avenue Princess Beauty & Hair Supply 2168 N. Gettysburg Ave

2 Interview with the Publishers CONTENTS Page The Rantings Of A Progressive Idiot WORDS FROM THE PUBLISHER Negative Perception of Black Businesses 3 A wave of statistics predicts that a wealth gap Tsunami is threatening African American families. Consider these facts: “The FEATURED STORY OF THE MONTH wealth gap between white and African American families has more than quadrupled over the course of a generation; the racial wealth What’s Up With The Pants Sagging? 4 gap increased by $75,000, from $20,000 to $95,000; and, at least 25 percent of African Americans have no assets” according to the Institute on Assets and Social Policy at Brandeis University. A study by United for a Fair Economy stated “for every dollar of white OUR PERSPECTIVE per-capital income, in 1968, African Americans had 55 cents and only 57 cents in 2001. At this pace, it would take African Americans The White Supremacy System 5 581 years to get the remaining 43 cents and achieve income parity with whites.” POLITICS Civil rights groups set for showdown with Tea According to U.S. Census data, white household median net worth is 10 times that of Black households. The median net worth for Party on MLK March anniversary 6 African Americans was $11,800 compared with $118,000 for whites. According to a 2007 Pew Charitable Trusts study, “nearly half of African Americans HELP ME UNDERSTAND THIS born to middle-income parents in the late 1960s plunged into poverty or near-poverty as adults” and “forty-five percent of black children whose parents were solidly middle class in 1968 – a stratum with a median income of $55,600 in inflation-adjusted dollars – grew up to be among the lowest fifth of the Why there should be a black backlash nation’s earners, with a median family income of $23,100.” These indisputable facts point out that middle income whites have far more wealth than even against BET? 6 some high-income African Americans. Equally disturbing, educational success achieved by many Blacks has not led to racial wealth equality. The MONEY MATTERS current economic crisis that we confront will only serve to exacerbate and magnify the growing wealth disparity. How do we address Whose Fault Is It When “Black” Industries Are this compelling national crisis? First, we must admit that a history of institutionalized racial and economic discrimination against African Taken Over By Non-Blacks? 7 Americans is the primary cause of wealth disparity between Black and white Americans. HEALTH Unless this harsh reality is addressed, the wealth gap will continue unabated and we will confront a society where many black Americans are How obesity has become a part of the recipient of entitlements and white Americans are faced with making transfer payments to support the economic well being of these Black Culture 7 African American families. I wish the answers to close the wealth gap were as politically palatable and acceptable as proposals to make EDUCATION our public schools better for minorities, to retrain minority workers for the new jobs market, and aggressively enforce laws against Black Male School in Inner City Has 100% racial and economic discrimination. Over the years, this Nation has been committed to all of these objectives, but these efforts have College Attendance 8 not and will not close the Black wealth gap. OUR LEGACY BEFORE SLAVERY I suggest that if we are serious about closing the wealth gap we must first be willing to talk about race-recognition remedies and this discussion must take place at the highest levels of government as well as between Black and white Americans. I recognize WHO CREATED CIVILIZATION? 8 that public policy based on race is extremely provocative and controversial, but controversy should not prevent a reasonable ASK A BROTHER dialogue about a societal dilemma that is real and economically devastating in its potential to millions of African Americans. Am I With The Wrong Woman? 9 Therefore, to initiate this dialogue, I submit the growing wealth gap qualifies as a “compelling national interest” permitting SINGLE INDEPENDANT SISTAH the government to enact “narrowly tailored” policies based on race. In the Adarand case, the Supreme Court ruled “a racial or ethnic classification must serve a compelling interest and must be narrowly tailored to serve that interest.” In my opinion, the Single Doesn’t Mean Desperate 9 wealth gap between Black and white Americans meets that test. BLACK CONSCIENCE Some People Blame My Generation, But Here are my public policy suggestions to address this compelling national problem and to get the conversation started. Have They Ever Stopped To Think Who Raised Us? 10 The Federal Government should: Act Like A Lady Think Like A Man..... 1. Allow black businesses to be eligible for government set aside contracts if they own 10 percent of a business rather than the BULLSCRAP! 10 existing 51 percent due to the 10-to-1 wealth gap between Blacks and whites -- the African American owner must retain control of the board of directors and voting control. Significantly increase the dollar volume of set aside contracts for Black businesses at all RELATIONSHIPS government agencies. Black Women Who Have A Decent Man 2. Encourage majority-owned businesses to invest in black-owned companies by significantly reducing or deferring the taxes on the But Don’t Appreciate Him 11 economic gain from those investments similar to the FCC “tax certificate policy” which motivated majority-owned media companies to MORE BLACK CONSCIENCE sell properties to minorities. Why Courting Has Gone Out The Window In The 3. Allow African American families earning less than $250,000 annually to defer federal income taxes, without interest, Black Community Part 2 11 provided tax deferrals are placed into a 401(k) type savings account which can only be drawn out at retirement or upon death at which time the government would be reimbursed for the deferred taxes. The gain on the 401(k) investment would be available to the families at BOOK REVIEW retirement or passed on to future generations. Let Not Man — Or Child — Put Asunder 12 4. Create a Treasury-backed fund to securitize short-term borrowing or emergency loans made by minority banks or other lending institutions MELADI MCNAIR REPORT to African American families provided these loans are marketed and made in a regulated and transparent manner. The securitized loans would Ailing Remedy 12 encourage banks and lenders to make short-term or emergency borrowing available at reasonable rates and end payday lending as we know it today. 5. Require large banks under the Community Reinvestment Act (CRA) to fund a nationwide marketing campaign targeted to the African American community, SPORTS particularly young adults that will focus on financial literacy and savings. Despite generating billions, many of LeBron’s Many of these proposals are incorporated in some form or another in current policy and are usually based on economic disparities i.e. poor versus rich. This fellow ballers end up broke. 13 philosophy does not acknowledge the racial nexus of wealth disparity between Blacks and whites. With African Americans facing a wealth gap Tsunami, I believe the time to do that is now. THE URBAN SOURCE To Contact Us Call: I am of the belief that the black community doesn’t have a resource problem...Instead we have a money management problem. I wonder if Bob Johnson has 1.888.466.0850 taken the time to see the number of black men riding around in cars with expensive rims or black women with expensive Korean weave . In case you missed the Pew Study (social and demographic trends report) results mentioned by the white man, they are.... 2331 N. Gettysburg Ave. Dayton, OH 45406 Two-thirds of all the people surveyed, including 71% of Whites, 59% of Latinos and even 53% of Blacks, felt that Blacks themselves were responsible for their E-MAIL: own condition in not being able to get ahead. [email protected] THE URBAN SOURCE is published by The Boykin Media Group and may be distributed only by authorized THE URBAN SOURCE STAFF distributors. Each issue is free. All Rights Reserved.

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THE BOYKIN MEDIA GROUP 2331 N. GETTYSBURG AVENUE Shericka Taylor William Henry DAYTON, OHIO 45406 LaTanya Branham Contributing Writer VP Graphic/Web Designer Staff Photographer 3 FEATURED STORY What’s Up With The Pants Sagging? “Young Brother, Image Is Everything!” By: Von

heritage is what made him done about it a long time ago. acceptable to white America. So-called progressive blacks The typical black man is complain about the black male viewed with contempt...not unemployment rate but have yet admiration. Why? Because to really examine the underlying people are afraid. issue (the image of black men). Despite what any fool will tell The image of black men in you this is not a fad. This bullshit this country is one that needs started in the prison system to be FIXED. Black men and has now made its way into have no right to complain our culture where it has stuck. about companies not willing Personally I’m pleased to see to hire them when so many city leaders take action against black men walk around with this nonsense. their pants down to their knees. Black men have no “Von, it’s called swagger...that’s right making excuses (such the style today.” I could care as white America gets a two less. It looks horrible. Maybe for one deal when hiring my taste is a little old school but black women over black a man walking around with his men) when they are walking pants down to his knees is not around looking a MESS. attractive. This is what swagger I wouldn’t hire their asses looks like to me.... either. The way you wear your When you see a young black man are their own worst enemy. I Obama stock in black men has clothes, the way you talk, and looking nice and neat women Yesterday I went to a public don’t think many of them realize went up. I disagreed with him. the way you carry yourself all almost immediately are attracted library in search of new reading the reason why the world views Simply put white people and play a key role in the way you to him. They don’t feel fear. I’m material. The library I chose to the MODERN (key word) black the rest of the non-black world are viewed by society (whether literally in awe because it’s not visit is nice, spacious, isolated, man as the “boogie man” is something I’m use to seeing and quiet which is why I go because of their own actions. from black men in my age group there. It is located in one of I’m a black woman and often (or even in older black men). I Dayton’s upscale areas. The enough I find myself clutching bet there are other black people library itself is typically “ white” my pursue around certain groups who feel the exact same way. As except for a few members of the of black men. Yes, I too am guilt African Americans we need to staff. So, you’ll understand why of stereotyping. be conscious of our image. You I wasn’t expecting to see what I won’t ever catch me leaving my saw there. However, I am sure that my house looking a mess. I pride personal fear of CERTAIN black myself on my image. My hair, In this library there were several men comes from their image. clothes, and everything else young black men (perhaps early As an example: I wouldn’t think are always on point. Why can’t to mid twenties) jumping from anything of a neatly dressed others get on my level??? computers to bookshelves. It articulate black man. Sure he wasn’t their activities that caught could be a criminal, but if he My questions... my eye. No, it was their chosen approached me on the street and attire. Each one of these black asked for directions I wouldn’t 1) Why the heck is sagging men was dressed like a thug. experience fear (at least not right pants a style? I honestly don’t Their attire consisted of fitted away). However, if we replaced understand it. hats, “wife beaters” or tank tops, that neatly dressed articulate air Jordan’s, and extra large black man with a thug looking, 2) If you look like a thug can jeans. Their jeans were sagging ebonic speaking, black man my you honestly expect society to damn near completely down fear would get the best of me. don’t view as the you like it or not). view you as anything more than to the floor! I watched almost Therefore, I can’t blame white typical African American black It is so bad now that cities a thug? embarrassed as one white person folks for being afraid when I man. across the country are trying to after another moved as far away find myself afraid at times. The implement laws against sagging 3) Do you support laws against from the group as possible. After current image of black men is To them he is a BI-RACIAL man pants. Before the race card indecency such as those a while I guess the group of black one of a thug. who has the values of a white carriers jump on this post let me involving sagging pants? men got the memo and decided man (real talk I’ve actually heard just say that I agree with city to leave. I have to tell you from A while back a black man told me this from non-black individuals). officials. Sagging pants disgust Please Give Us Your Feedback at: where I’m standing black men that with the election of Barack Barack Obama’s biracial me. Something should have been [email protected]

4 OUR PERSPECTIVE The White Supremacy System BY: DR. CONRAD W. WORRILL

level of our existence was If African people are going framework out of which to How many times have you based upon the skill and the to ever have a serious mental properly conceptualize our AICPA Scholarship for heard someone of African will of those who owned us. breakthrough in terms of how problems. Minority Accounting ancestry say that “We [Black They had the right to deem we analyze our condition in In 1852, the great African Students people] are our own worst that which was best for their America, we will have to thinker in America, Dr. Provides awards to out- enemy?” If you have lived property. Therefore, the resolve the question “are we Martin R. Delany, wrote one standing minority stu- among African people in this profit motive and the skill of our own worst enemy,” or has of the most important books country for any length of time, the slave master determined the system of white supremacy that accurately described our dents to encourage their I am sure you have heard this how this Black wealth would created a set of conditions condition at that moment in selection of accounting remark made many times. history that is still applicable to as a major and their ul- our condition today. The title timate entry into the pro- Unfortunately, the system of of the book is “The Condition, fession. White supremacy developed Elevation, Emigration and www.aicpa.org in the Western world, has Destiny of the Colored People caused far too many African of the United States.” people in America to believe Delany wrote, “Unfortunately Alpha Kappa Alpha that the problem we face as a for us a body, we have been Educational Advance- people is “us.” We must remind taught that we must have ment Scholarship ourselves, time and time again, some person to think for Created to fill a void in that African people in America us, instead of thinking for education funding. Its were captured from Africa and ourselves. So accustomed mission is to provide brought to America against are we to submission and financial support to- in our will. As the “1974 Black this kind of training, that it is dividuals and organiza- Capital” article asserted, “Our with difficulty, even among tions engaged in lifelong introduction to the West was in the most intelligent of the the form of a commodity raped colored people, an audience learning. from Africa to be used as labor, may be elicited for any purpose www.akaeaf.org capital, chattel, and currency whatever, if the expounder is to to build a nation for someone be colored...” American Political Sci- else.” In the article, it explained bring the highest return on his that continue to keep us in an Further Delany wrote, “and ence Assoc. Minority that “... our history tells us that investment.” oppressed state? the introduction of a subject Fellows Program we were below slaves and less This formula is still at work We must accept responsibility is treated with indifference, than human. We were things today. Just examine the role for answering this question as if not contempt, when the Assists minority students who were traded for horses, of African people in the well as accepting responsibility originator is a colored person. in completing their doc- our women used as breeders entertainment and athletic for solving all the problems Indeed, the most ordinary torates by concentrating and our children raised like industry. White people own we face as a people. But in white person, is almost revered not only on the recruit- chickens.” and control these industries accepting responsibility for ment of minorities, but Finally, the “Black Capital” and use African people to addressing the problems we Continued on also on the retention of article pointed out that during “bring the highest return off face as an African people in page 15 these groups within the the slavery process—“The their investment.” America, we must have a profession. www.apsanet.org/sec- tion_427.cfm

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5 POLITICS Civil rights groups set for showdown with Tea Party on MLK March anniversary By: Jennifer H. Cunningham

But some African-American Tea principles of integrity, truth and hijacking King’s legacy and would oversight, Sharpton said. African-American leaders Party members said there was honor,” according to a description use the rally in part to honor King “Even if you take race out of this, denounced TV and radio pundit nothing wrong with Beck holding from ’s website. and the . the whole concept of government Glenn Beck’s Tea Party rally next his “Restoring Honor” rally at “Help us restore the values that But Marc H. Morial, president of that they represent with the Tea month that will occur on the same the on the founded this great nation.” the National Urban League, said Party is the exact opposite of what date and at the same spot where 47th anniversary of the March on It includes an appearance Beck was trying to re-imagine the concept was in ‘63,” he said. the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Washington. by former Republican vice- the meaning of the March on Scores of Tea Partiers, or members Jr. delivered his “” “First of all, nobody owns the presidential candidate Sarah Washington and King’s message of a loose, conservative coalition speech nearly 50 years ago. m e s s a g e . and that it was opposed to issues like unchecked And as Beck hosts his “Restoring It’s that no coincidence government spending, high Honor” event Aug. 28th at the simple,” said that he picked taxation and large government Lincoln Memorial, civil rights David Webb, Aug. 28 to host deficits, are expected to attend organizations, including the chairman and his rally. Beck’s rally from across the National Association for the c o - f o u n d e r “I suspect country. Advancement of Colored People, of the New his intentions “I am aware of it; I’m probably the National Urban League and Yo r k - b a s e d are deception going to be there,” said Frantz the Tea Party365. and trickery,” Kebreau, national director of will hold events to commemorate He added, Morial said, the National Association for the King’s legacy and the March on “Everybody “and trying to Advancement of Conservative Washington. can read the take the imagery People of All Colors. He added, “I “It is just an outright attempt to flip speeches Dr. of Dr. King don’t think it makes a difference the imagery of Dr. King and the King made. and Abraham whether it’s on the anniversary. imagery of that march, and distort Anyone can Lincoln and It’s a very special day, but that it for some opposite purposes,” look at his somehow wrap doesn’t mean that other people said the Rev. , w r i t i n g s . his agenda of should not have their event on that president of the National Action I don’t intolerance and particular day.” Network, which is hosting the r e m e m b e r division around King made history from the steps “Reclaim the Dream” rally in them being exclusionary.” Palin, with some of the proceeds it.” of the Lincoln Memorial on Aug. Washington, D.C. at the same Billed as a non-political, non- benefitting wounded veterans Sharpton said the Tea Party 28, 1963 when he delivered a time as Beck’s “Restoring Honor” fundraiser, the “Restoring and the families of fallen military movement contradicts what King passionate rallying cry for civil event. “They’re not talking about Honor” rally “pays tribute to the personnel. stood for. King called on the rights in his “I Have a Dream” celebrating Dr. King, they’re to America’s service personnel Beck did not return a request for federal government to intervene speech as part of the March on talking about circumventing him and other upstanding citizens who comment, but said on his radio on civil rights, while the Tea Party and distorting him.” embody our nation’s founding show last month that he was not advocates for less government Continued on page 15 HELP ME UNDERSTAND THIS? Why there should be a black backlash against BET By: Dr. Boyce Watkins

honoring him with an award. capitalist entities who exploit poor, Finally, along with every other person by Bob Johnson, their soul was sold Most decent, educated, hard Sure, we know that R. Kelly had been black Americans for financial gain. who grew up admiring Michael to the devil of modern American working black Americans have their technically acquitted of his crime, but The difference is that you can get Jackson’s talent, I wasn’t happy to see capitalism. Therefore, nearly every own particular reason for disliking I hold to the reality that being found away with an extraordinary amount of BET’s botched and hastily-designed BET employee, executive, producer, the BET Awards. All the while, it not guilty is not the same as being exploitation if you disguise it with a tribute to the singer last year. But of and writer goes to bed wondering must be acknowledged that there are found innocent. Also, my friends blackface. course the execs at BET could care what damage he did to black America some Americans who love the show. who’ve watched less, since the show that day. Finally, there are those who love the video “for was one of their to watch the show so they can talk research purposes” most highly rated in Like our broken financial system, I about how much they hate it. BET (no, I didn’t watch history. When it’s don’t blame BET employees for the appreciates these viewers as much that video, I have all said and done problematic choices of the network, as anyone else, since most networks daughters the same in black America, I blame the system and culture that value ratings, no matter how they are age as the young girl making money seems has been established within BET over obtained. allegedly involved to justify any and the past 30 years of its existence. Any in the incident) every activity utilized employee who tries to fix the problem My personal anti-love affair with the report that the man to make that money. would surely be replaced by one BET Awards began when the singer on the video has a This, my friends, is who is willing to go along with the R. Kelly was accused of having sex striking resemblance wrong. program. with an underage girl and videotaping to R. Kelly. Either Through the years, When I reflect on the ups and downs the act. This occurred during a time way, BET had an the BET Awards of the last millennium, I think about when people were under the mistaken opportunity to take a have become a staple Jim Crow, the introduction of crack assumption that most African- stand on principle, and of unhealthy and cocaine, the spread of HIV, and the Americans actually care about young they did: They proved From right, Busta Rhymes, Ludacris, Diddy and Rick Ross perform at the BET counter-productive growth of BET to be among the great Awards on Sunday, June 27, 2010 in Los Angeles. (AP Photo/Matt Sayles) black girls. Of course, this silly notion that they are incredibly principled broken black family fun. The show is black disasters of the 20th century. was quickly dismissed by BET, who about the idea of making money at The R. Kelly/anti-black girl trend of as dysfunctional as those of who love Dr. Boyce Watkins is the founder of the not only continued with the planned any cost. When BET founder Bob the BET Awards continued years later to watch it, and the ratings turn out to Your Black World Coalition and the R. Kelly performance, but gave him Johnson reminded us that the “E” in as Lil Wayne rapped about wishing he be a major money maker for BET, who initiator of the National Conversation the longest segment on the show. The BET stands for “Entertainment, not could “f*** every girl in the world” continues to line up the best artists in on Race. For more information, please segment was the only one to actually education,” that is when the network all the while, having underage girls America. The problem for BET is visit BoyceWatkins.com. include video and even ended by officially became similar to the purely dancing on the stage behind him. that long ago when being founded

6 MONEY MATTERS Whose Fault Is It When “Black” Industries Are Taken Over By Non-Blacks? By: Rick Blalock

Koreans in their black beauty *Sigh*.... I am supply stores which are located now convinced that African across the country in black Americans are CURSED. neighborhoods. We are forever cursed with • Black people as a collective a lack of black economical have control over only one power. We have single handily “non-profit” organization: The led ourselves into the “promise Black Church and it is on that land” of Corporate America bullshit. It doesn’t take much to where we, as black people, no sway the black church. Simply longer look out for ourselves or hand over a hardy donation each other. Instead of protecting and your political party will our interest we would rather i t ’ s surely get plugged. If politicians miscegenate with everything the critic in me can buy the black church so that is NON-BLACK. In this but I find it ironic that this can most others. So, why the article I will show you ONE of is a multi-billion documentary about black hair hell do African Americans the many ways that integration dollar industry. There was made by a white man. continue to look to it with pride has benefited those who are have been estimates of $1-15 • Koreans most often ostracize and guidance? I bet this is one non-black while it has canceled billion dollars in revenue from non-Koreans from the industry issue you haven’t heard about in out those who it was suppose African American consumers. by refusing to distribute to or for church. It seems the important to benefit (African Americans). • Koreans dominate the industry them or by charging them higher information that needs to be Make note...I believe African with control of more than 80 prices than they would fellow said is not important to the black Americans are solely responsible percent of the distribution of Koreans. church. for allowing others to benefit off Black hair care products, beauty • Most African Americans won’t • Koreans and other Asian of them and their struggle. This supply stores and the wig and think twice about buying a $1- immigrants do not have to pay For Portable Signs, article should serve as a wakeup extension manufacturers. $2 dollar cheaper product from taxes for their first 5 years of call to the beauticians, barbers, • Aron Ranen’s Black Hair a Korean owned beauty supply living in the United States. Visit and those who support the black documentary (see below) suggest store rather than a black owned • Koreans duplicate black hair hair care industry. Koreans have maintained their beauty supply store. Most have care products produced by Hudson Signs presence in the industry by NEVER asked themselves why African Americans in order to 2506 N. Gettysburg Ave. Here are the facts (this is what relying on their native language the product is cheaper at the blackball the African American Dayton, OH 45406 happens when black folks cease to exclude non-Korean black Korean owned beauty store.... made product from the industry. being PRO-BLACK)..... hair care business owners from and most don’t care. 937.277.7807 • The black hair care industry the industry. Side note...maybe • Koreans ONLY employ Continued on page 14

CAUGHT YOU HEALTH LOOKING! ADVERTISE How obesity has become a part of Black Culture YOUR BUSINESS WITH US. Contact Us At: By Dr. Tyeese Gaines Reid 1(888) 466-0850

Yet, in the African-American com- even more alarming that some of these With the head of the African-American to weight gain and high blood pressure. African-Americans are the most munity, the so-called normal women are making a choice to live family -- the matriarch -- more likely Ironically, soul food is often considered obese group in the United States and it body image is skewed toward at an unhealthy weight. to be overweight and sedentary, it is “good food,” as compared to fast-food, may be by choice. the unhealthy. Studies show a African-American women of all no surprise that many black men and so the perception of healthy food choic- Obesity is a growing epidemic in this strong tendency to deem ages report less exercise children are also overweight. Regular es are also skewed. country, with Americans eating more larger body sizes as ac- than their white counter- exercise, portion-control and healthy and becoming less and less active. Sev- ceptable, particularly for parts. “Many of them feel eating habits are not routinely ingrained Even among those families who desire enty-three percent of adults and 43 per- women. that it’s not feminine or into the structure of African-American to eat healthier, doing so may not be cent of all children in the United States “Many African-Amer- they’re afraid to sweat families. economically feasible. One in four Afri- are overweight or obese, according to ican women view because it will ruin can-Americans still live in poverty, and the Centers for Disease Control and Pre- being obese as part their hairstyle,” adds One in four African-American girls and there is a strong correlation between low vention. of their culture,” Dr. Bell. Other hin- almost one in five African-American income and obesity. Many impoverished Among African-Americans 20 years says Thaddeus Bell, drances include not boys are overweight. We are now be- neighborhoods do not even have an ac- and older, more than two-thirds are M.D., a family prac- having child care, ginning to see high blood pressure and cessible grocery store with affordable, overweight or obese defined as a body titioner in South not having enough type II diabetes -- historically diseases healthy options. It’s not hard to imagine mass index (BMI) of 25 pounds or more Carolina, in an on- time to be physi- of adulthood -- in these overweight chil- that tasty, inexpensive fast-food beats (h). According to BMI charts, a woman line interview for cally active, and not dren. Seven out of every 10 overweight out the cost and taste of lean meat, fresh who is 5-feet 5 inches tall and weighs icyou.com. feeling safe being adolescents will become overweight fruits and vegetables. 150 pounds is considered overweight. It is understood within active in their neigh- adults. That number increases to eight if Fast-food companies also gear market- A man who stands at 5-feet 8 inches is the African-American borhoods. one or more parents is also overweight. ing efforts toward minority communi- considered overweight once he hits 175 community that curvy, over- African-American men Thus, the cycle continues. ties. While offhand these ads may ap- pounds. What is often considered nor- weight women are consid- aren’t off the hook either. The “soul food” tradition adds to the pear culturally-sensitive, studies show mal is actually unhealthy. ered more appealing to black African-American men also problem in some African-American that ethnic minorities are more respon- Carrying around those extra pounds men than normal- or under- exercise less than white wom- households. Most of the recipes are sive to these targeted ads and such mar- increases the likelihood of developing weight women. There is almost en, and have the highest preva- passed down from generation to genera- keting is, in fact, manipulative. This type II diabetes and high blood pressure a reverse distortion of body lence of obesity among all male tion, usually from families who origi- poses a dilemma as many of these ads -- two diseases that disproportionately image -- with thicker women ethnic groups. nated from the southern states. There is are for less-than-healthy food and bever- affect African-Americans.Being over- fighting weight-loss and slender However, African-American men a strong social component to this style age options. weight also increases the risk of stroke, women wanting to gain weight in are more active than their female of cooking, centered around family There are, however, national efforts heart disease, arthritis and certain can- order to be accepted. counterparts, which may be the gatherings or opportunities for the fam- to reverse these unhealthy perceptions cers. In fact, obesity could become more Thismay account for the stag- reason that only 28.8 percent ily’s matriarch to show her love for the and traditions. The “Black Women DO dangerous for your health than smoking gering statistic that 4 out of are obese, compared to 50.8 family. However, traditional soul food cigarettes. 5 African-American women percent of African-American is often cooked with fat, sugar and un- are overweight or obese. It is women. healthy amounts of salt that contribute Continued on page 14

7 EDUCATION Black Male School in Inner City Has 100% College Attendance By: Von

Last year, I introduced you between the haves and have- to Urban Prep Academy, a nots. Don’t skimp when it school in the inner city of comes to your educational Chicago. The school was investment. If you are willing unique in that 100 percent to work five hours a day on a of its student body, which is part-time job, you should be completely black and male, willing to study five hours a announced that they’d all day to build your academic been accepted into college. future. The payoff is much greater in the long-run. Obviously, this would be a tremendous achievement for 3) Get off to a good start. How any institution, particularly you start the first semester of one that is faced with the college will set the tone for social hurdles that come with the next four years. If you start life in urban America. off behind, you will spend the next four years catching up. The school’s announcement The first month is critical, so was met with criticism by be a little nerdy at first and skeptics, some of whom said slowly integrate yourself into that being accepted to college to ensure that the young men get college life. Again, college is not the same as actually through their freshman years. In College is not nearly as difficult Here are some tips to ensure is an absolute blast as long as attending and that attending my 17 years as a teacher at the as you might think, as long as success for young college you make sure you handle your college is not the same as college level, I’ve seen countless you bring a consistent work ethic students: business first. actually graduating. I responded students start college with and never forget that you are in by stating that you have to start the confidence of a thousand college to study -- not to just 1) Set your standards high. 4) Don’t go to college planning somewhere and that this school soldiers only to walk away with party, hang out and socialize. Every child is college material to be mediocre. Aim for As and is already breaking tremendous their tails between their legs. The I admittedly grow weary of if he or she wants to be. Bs. It’s not that difficult. In fact, ground by setting the bar high in numbers of ways to get “caught seeing people come to college Remember: If George Bush can most professors give the average the first place. up” are endless: drinking, and forget that it is a place for go to Harvard and Yale, then student a B for simply attending drugs, partying, fraternities, educational advancement and every black child in America class every day and doing what The school recently quieted sororities, pregnancy, academic not just a place to learn the can go to college somewhere. they are told to do. This is even some of its skeptics by procrastination or simply losing latest step moves, watch BET It’s simply a matter of wanting it true in the Ivy Leagues where announcing that all 107 of the focus. The reason I wrote the or set fashion trends. Having as badly as we want some of the grade inflation is rampant. young black men accepted in book ‘Everything You Ever fun is certainly not a crime, but other ridiculous things that have The key is to avoid cramming to college are now planning to Wanted to Know about College’ allowing fun to take precedence come to define black culture. and study every day instead attend. was to prepare our kids for the over academic priorities is a many traps they will face when crime that can often come with 2) Education is the quickest path Continued on The next hurdle for the school is they decide to attend college. a terrible life sentence. out of poverty and the difference page 14 OUR LEGACY BEFORE SLAVERY BLACK PEOPLE & OUR PLACE IN WORLD HISTORY WHO CREATED CIVILIZATION?

Former President Richard Nixon to deny Black civilizations? Before All of the elements of civilization dated 8000 BC. She also said that President Thomas Jefferson was quoted in the Haldeman Diary Greece, Rome or Europe were ever first began in Africa, including the people were familiar with prime said, “Never yet could I find that a as stating “the Black race is the established, there were multiple religion, art, science, government, numbers and multiplication by two Black had uttered a thought above only race, which mining, writing, since the markings were paired at the level of plain narration...never never founded m a t h e m a t i c s , 3-6, 4-8, and 5-10. saw an elementary tract of painting a civilization.” a r c h i t e c t u r e , Astronomy and astrology are or sculpture.” Congressman Scientist and engineering, and believed to have existed for almost Thomas Hardwick of Georgia, in P r o f e s s o r agriculture. Dr. 50,000 years. The oldest stellar 1904, demanded and received the R.B. Carrell Charles Nelson calendar is dated 4241 BC. It disenfranchisement of Black people c o n c l u d e s , at the University has 365 1/4 days and 12 months from the gains made after the Civil “ S a v a g e s , of Massachusetts with 30 days in each month. The War. He said, “Black people never including the states that animal ancient Africans were also the first founded a government nor made a whole Negro d o m e s t i c a t i o n to divide the day into 24 hours and single step toward civilization that race, should on occurred in Kenya to begin the day at midnight. did not soon lapse in barbarism, account of their 15,000 years ago; African medical textbooks have except under the fostering care low mentality and and that agricultural been found that are over 5,000 and guidance of White people.” unpleasant nature sites have been Historian Arnold Toynbee wrote be painlessly carbon dated in Continued on page 12 in his 1934 history book: “It will exterminated.” Egypt to 18,000 be seen that when we classify Were White BC. CAUGHT YOU mankind by color, the only primary scholars and The oldest race that has not made a creative presidents never taught the correct Black civilizations throughout numeration system was found in LOOKING! contribution to any civilization is version of history, or has there been the world, which were already Zaire by Dr. Jean de Heinzelin ADVERTISE YOUR BUSINESS the Black race.” a conspiracy for the past 200 years thousands of years old. with markings on the Ishango Bone WITH US. 8 ASK A BROTHER Am I With The Wrong Woman? By: Boyce Watkins, PhD

front of me? Or even worse, don’t allow I sometimes wonder if I’m the little things to influence with the wrong woman. We get Thank you for your advice. major relationship decisions. along only half the time and I’m For example, a man shouldn’t starting to see how different we -- Barry leave his wife because she are. We don’t have fist-fights or consistently forgets to refill anything like that, but we argue Urban Source Response: a roll of toilet paper. None of constantly about little stuff. us are perfect, and no matter Plus, she has slacked off over Only you can determine which woman you settle on, she the years. She doesn’t keep whether or not she’s good will have several quirks. A man herself up like she used to. for you. You simply have to should only consider leaving She rarely wants to have sex, ask yourself: “Does she bring a woman if she’s not good for and doesn’t want to go out like quality to my life, and am I him--not because of her quirks we did in years past. She just bringing quality to her life?” and hangups. Everybody has wants to wear raggedy jogging quirks and hangups. pants all day, watch television, This may sound like a double No where in your statement did How compatible were you and talk to her girlfriends on standard, but women hardly you mention talking to your during the first four years of the Finally, never allow friends the phone. Friends, family and ever get ridicously lazy in partner about your feelings. If relationship? and family to dictate what even coworkers say I deserve relationships--(i.e. not wanting her behavior has changed and We suggest starting with a happens in current, or future something better. But 4 years is to go out on dates, never no longer fits the bill, talking to heart-to-heart talk--which relationships. We all respect a lot to throw away. wanting to communicate, or her is the next logical step. Try means setting aside time to the opinions of our loved ones, refusing to be romantic). It’s asking yourself the following express your feelings with but you are the one who has to So my question is: How do usually the man who becomes questions: openness and honesty. If you live with your mate, and the I know if she’s good for me? complacent and exhibits this Does she know exactly how do this, you may find a remedy ultimate decision to be happy Is this normal for a steady type of behavior. you feel about the relationship? without going through a lot of rests with you. relationship, or am I wasting Knowing this, let’s focus on the Is she battling her own heartache. my time? Should I listen to my most important aspect of your emotional turmoil, which may Furthermore, don’t give too Please Give Us Your Feedback at: friends and recognize what’s in relationship--communication. cause a change in attitude? much power to the little things. [email protected]

SINGLE INDEPENDENT SISTAH Single Doesn’t Mean Desperate by: Von

woman should be more willing they’re only mildly interested. with whom they can enjoy a built a life that runs pretty well So, there comes a point to accept whatever man shows Sure, some might suggest Cosby-esque existence. without a better half. Now, that in your dating life where you her some interest, but the truth is that’s why so many women It may seem strange to some she knows she “can do good all realize that the folks around you that after surviving a few horrid remain single. They don’t sink that when she should seem by herself,” doing less than that have lowered their expectations relationships and getting real their claws into the guys who her most desperate, the older with someone isn’t an appealing when it comes to what’s a used to living solo, single woman option. suitable match for you. the SIS is less willing is less worried So, a SIS’s apparent apathy Once upon a time, my friends to settle for anything about a mate toward the unemployed, were turning up their noses at other than what she than her younger toothless, cross dressing guys I dated who they considered wants. She’s just as c o u n t e r p a r t s . neighbor who asked her out “average.’’ Now, if he can walk discerning as the That’s because doesn’t necessarily indicate she and is still too young to collect 20-something with a she’s likely seen doesn’t want to be partnered. Social Security, I’m expected to few more options, if the results of a It’s that she wants to ensure swoon at his advances. not more so. bad union. She’s that anyone she commits to is All of a sudden instead of being That’s not to say seen friends’ actually a good match who’s advised to kick a guy to the curb she’s unwilling to marriages fall adding something to her already for not returning my phone calls compromise on apart. She’s been comfortable life. in a timely manner, I’m now things, but the single in an unhealthy In short, for the more mature SIS encouraged to keep calling until women I know are definitely approach them and hold on for relationship or two, and she’s out there who wants a committed he picks up. not going the extra mile for dear life. They’re still clinging pretty certain she knows what relationship, it’s about the right It may seem like the older single the attention of men in whom to some dream of a soul mate will work for her. She’s also body, not just anybody.

9 BLACK CONSCIENCE Some People Blame My Generation, But Have They Ever Stopped To Think Who Raised Us? By: Staff Writer

belongs: on the generation born generation must have known that these productive members of society. While in the late-1930’s through the images would have a lasting impact on the divorce rate in this country is high for 1950’s. This generation was the future generations of black people. But like all races one cannot ignore the fact that first generation to test the grounds all generations behind them.....they didn’t kids from a two-parent home are greater of post-segregated society as young care as long as they were making money. achievers than those growing up in a single African Americans. They were old parent home. enough to remember segregation Kids today can’t recognize their parents and young enough to experience the because their parents look, talk, and act like The woman is the “chooser.” Men cannot full dream of integration. them. How the hell is a child suppose to get close to you unless you let them respect someone just old enough (excluding those individuals who are raped Instead of to be his or her older brother or etc). Black women need to choose better making the best sister? People are having out of men and stop lying down with bums. Take of their new wedlock children at age twelve, your birth control, use condoms, and don’t found freedom thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, and bring children into this world until you can this generation sixteen only to find themselves provide for them financially, physically and decided to act grandparents at thirty-two, mentally. Single motherhood (not including a damn fool! thirty-three the FEW black women who were married They brought etc. The kids at some point but ended up divorce thereby drugs into the are making becoming a single parent and SOME c o m m u n i t y the same lesbians, which is a whole different blog (money from mistakes as topic) should NOT be accepted as the norm Heroin was said their parents nor should it be looked upon favorably. to be used to before them There is NO excuse for an unplanned If you pick up a copy of any black help fund the Vietnam War). They embraced because no pregnancy in this day and age. magazine (with the exception of a few) the role of pimps (selling women on the one is around you will see images of overly sexualized corners of every major city and ghetto in who is old Black men start investing in the lives of your young black women with black men, who this country). This was the generation that enough to children. There is no way in hell my father have embraced the images of thugs, pimps, started leaving the black family in search of teach them would let me leave his house for my prom and gangsters. These individuals were most freedom, free love, and the next “high.” This any better. looking like the young lady at the VERY likely born between the years of 1970-1990. was the generation that made films such How is a child TOP of this post. As I recall my father helped This is my generation (a generation being 20 as Superfly (a film that celebrated a drug supposed to raise a child? At age thirty- to pick out my prom dress, which we ordered years). While the actions of these members dealing hustler) along with The Mack (a three, “grandma” is more than likely at the from David’s Bridal. I still remember the of my generation are often looked down film in which a pimp was celebrated). This club popping it with her daughter. This is the “glow” on his face the night of my prom. He upon by our elders (Bill Cosby and others) is also the generation that began referring B.S. that’s being passed from one generation looked so proud. The only other events that I sometimes wonder do any of these older to black women as tricks, bitches, and hoes. to the next. could match that moment/look on his face black people realize they raised us? Do they Bill Cosby, who criticized my generation are my graduations from both high school realize we are a reflection of them and their for celebrating Hustle and Flow (a film that The Problem/Solution and college. Having a positive man in your actions (experimenting with drugs)? Do they romanticized a rapping pimp), must have Whether any black woman wants to admit it life as a child makes a big difference in the realize we are a reflection of their failure? blanked out the fact that his generation was or not single parenthood and teenage parents person you become as an adult. the first to glamorize these images. Rapper, are a BIG problem in the black community. Generations to come can learn to respect The problems that are being displayed by Snoop Dogg took the persona of a mink Kids who have TWO productive parents in themselves, but the work starts at home. members of my generation didn’t begin wearing “pimp” from films he watched as their lives (notice I didn’t necessarily say with us. I place the blame solely where it a child in the 1970’s. Surely, Bill Cosby’s in their home) are more likely to become Continued on page 14

Act Like A Lady Think Like A Man.....BULLCRAP! By: Staff Writer

shouldn’t be giving relationship advice (sure trained to think like men wouldn’t it entail • Don’t procreate before you are married. they can claim it’s by choice...but I know women taking on the characteristics of men... • Carry yourself like a lady in the streets but better). It’s the same thing with Mr. Harvey. ummm.... masculinity? be prepared to show out in the bedroom.... Here are my additional reasons for not • Every man is not the same just as every basically act like a lady and think like a freak reading the book.... woman is not the same. What works for one (but only with your man). • Women cannot be trained to think like men. will not work for all. That’s really all there is to it. Like all Women and men are built different. Men I respect Steven Harvey for his comedic talent relationships it takes two to make it work. So, think with their libidos (in most cases) while but I’ll be honest with you....when I first heard naturally all of the above won’t work unless women tend to think with their heads/hearts. about this book I thought it was a JOKE. He he too is willing to make it work. However, • If a woman hasn’t learned how to act like would have come out better writing a book for my belief is if black women do the above a lady by age 20 she won’t learn. A girl is men instead of women. Would black men have correctly they shouldn’t have any problems trained to be a lady at home with “mother.” If read it? I don’t know. Perhaps that was part in their relationships with men (particularly mother is anything short of a lady the apple of Mr. Harvey’s thought process when writing black men). won’t fall too far from the three. the book. It doesn’t take a bestselling book to Oh...and...Black women...if you really want to • Women and men view love and sex teach women how keep a man. It simply takes know what’s up with black men go read, The differently. Women (most of us) like to make common sense and feminity. Here is MY list Black woman’s Guide To Understanding The love. Men just want to screw...doesn’t matter of things black women should do to get and Black man by Shahrazad Ali. She doesn’t tell how. keep a man..... black women to think like black men. Instead haven’t read Steve’s Harvey’s book Act • Can you imagine the reaction if a black • Play your position. Yes, I believe the man Ms. Ali breaks down the behavior of black LikeI A Lady Think Like A Man and I don’t woman wrote a book titled, Act Like A Man should head the household. That doesn’t mean men. It’s a good read and you can get the book plan to read it. Why? Because Steve Harvey Think Like A Woman? Men wouldn’t read giving up your career or respect. It means for dirt cheap on Amazon.com. has been married three times. Why would I it. Chances are they would view the book as letting him do what a man is suppose to do. take relationship advice from him on how to GAY. Men don’t want to think like women....I • Handle your business. Cooking and cleaning get and keep a man? That would be like me don’t blame them. Women shouldn’t want to is not hard....learn it. Please Give Us Your Feedback at: [email protected] asking one of my single friends’ advice on think like men. • Keep yourself looking right. This is self- the subject. Obviously if they’re single they • Even if it were possible for women to be explanatory. 10 RELATIONSHIPS Black Women Who Have A Decent Man But Don’t Appreciate Him Do We Really Appreciate Him? By: Von

husband. dead father’s insurance money. He hopes the Plus the conversation I had with Desiree’s There are some members of my family I believe it was my grandmother who first second child will become an athlete and get a husband during the Fourth of July cookout that I go out of my way to avoid. I think told me about my cousin’s marriage. To say scholarship. was still in the back of my mind. The bottom everyone has a cousin, aunt, uncle or some I was shocked to learn the news would be an • Met my cousin while working at Krystal’s is this idiot knew her husband didn’t have distant relative who we wish we never had understatement. I wrote Desiree off as less (the restaurant) where she is currently the a job and was a convicted f e l o n to see. However let’s be real…sometimes it’s than marriage material a long time ago. In manager. prior to marrying him and unavoidable. Whether it’s at a family reunion fact, I stuck her in the jump-off category when • He asked her to marry him. bearing his child. The of some other family gathering we’re bound to I was about eight years old. Continued on cross paths with the unavoidable individual at Upon learning the news of Desiree’s marriage After the conversation came to an end I was some point. In my case, the time and location the first thought that came to mind was, left a little baffled. I just couldn’t believe this page 12 was Sunday afternoon at my grandmother’s “No man with good sense would marry sweet guy (or maybe he was just telling me house. The individual was my hood rat cousin, that woman!” I knew Desiree wanted to get what he thought I wanted to hear) would marry who we will call Desiree. married, but I never thought I would see my cousin of all people. Even more surprising, the day that it actually happened given her I couldn’t believe Desiree had married a man Desiree and I are complete opposites. You personality and outer wedlock children. who didn’t have a job. I imagine she must have wouldn’t even know we were related unless However, I was wrong! I first met by cousin’s been so happy to have a man that she accepted someone told you. This particular cousin is a husband this past Fourth of July. He was at my him and his bum status with a second walking stereotype. She doesn’t give a darn family’s Fourth of July cookout. He seemed to thought. Anyway, on Sunday I how she looks. Her attire usually consists of be a cool person. I actually had a conversation went to visit my grandmother and some too tight jeans, an oversized shirt (in with him in which I learned the following Desiree was there nagging about case I fail to mention it later she’s overweight), information… her husband unemployment and some sandals or tennis shoes. Her hair is status. She said, “If he doesn’t typically weaved out or cut short with multiple • He considers Desiree’s other two kids his find a job soon he’s getting highlights. Across the front of her mouth is a own. out of my house. I’m not whole row of gold teeth. The honest to • He doesn’t have a job, is a convicted felon, going to continue to support truth is Desiree reminds me of Sha-na-na from but trying very hard to find employment. a grown man.” Normally I the television show, Martin. • Is planning for his infant son’s college probably would have agreed Desiree’s first child’s father was killed in the education (this is the child he has with my with Desiree (at least to an streets over a case of beer. Someone put a gun cousin). extent), but I have always to his head and pulled the trigger. Her second • Is planning for Desiree’s other two children’s been under the impression child’s father is locked away in prison… college education while acknowledging that that marriage meant taking for life. Her third child’s father is now her the oldest child is taken care of due to her the bitter with the sweet. MOREMUSIC BLACK REVIEW CONSCIENCE Why Courting Has Gone Out The Window In The Black Community Part 2 By: Von

I have a FEW theories as still be at their door knocking BLACK WOMEN DON’T it is the ROOT cause of this remains…we wouldn’t have (black women) didn’t allow to why black men no longer if they look decent and DEMAND TO BE COURTED problem. so many damn single mothers them to do so. You personally court black women. Here is a have money. They have the ANYMORE. Collectively black women walking around if it were not might hold YOURSELF to list…. numbers advantage and they I could go into detail with don’t demand to be courted true. If black women were a HIGH standard, but what • No one taught black men know it. My guess…this is the this list but I won’t simply anymore… holding themselves to a higher about the black woman next better (papa was either MAIN reason why we see the because I don’t feel like it! At standard they wouldn’t be to you? She’s eyeing your nonexistent or just a whorish role reversal in courtship. some point on this blog I have What do I mean by the above single mothers at all. Instead guy down, waiting for you to son of a gun himself). Some • There is a flock they would be wives! screw up, or simply waiting black men have NEVER of black men In this day and age I for you to turn your back. witnessed an OLDER black today who love have to imagine it’s You know in your heart that man “woo” a black woman. to be pampered pretty easy to pull a what YOU won’t do (at least • There is a general lack of and cared for in black woman because not in the beginning stages respect for black women EVERY way. some of us want to of the courting process) SHE period. The reality is some I think this is be loved so bad by a will do with pride. Jump- black men simply view due to growing man that we accept off, whore, slut, tramp or black women as objections up with single bullcrap from a man. whatever you want to call not worthy of any type of mothers and never He can already be HER…YOU know she’s meaningful affection. seeing a man play someone’s “baby there in the background and • Many black women have too his position in daddy” or just a bum HE knows it too. This type of much baggage for ANY man. the household. ass dude, but many backstabbing has also helped Who the hell wants to court a The mother of us would welcome to LOWER the bar for black woman who’s going to bring took care of him with open arms. men. Bottom line: If every with her a headache? EVERYTHING. This desperation, black woman had respect for • The PRODUCTIVE black The son never piss poor sense of the NEXT black woman and man shortage has produced got to see the traditional family held HERSELF to a higher a situation of supply and role of a man. They grow up gone over almost everything statement? I’m going to be values (children after marriage) standard black men would be demand. The supply of decent to suffer from the “baby boy on the list above. So, if blunt (as usual). I believe and accepting of bullscrap has forced to show RESPECT for available black men is LOW syndrome” (as I call it) where you’re interested in reading African American women are LOWERED the bar for men black women. and the DEMAND is high. they expect their woman to my two cents on those issues too EASY. We easily let our (particularly black men)…and They (black men) can be replace their mother…with dig through my archives. For emotions get the better of our they know it! Think about it… selective and be “dogs” at the sexual benefits. this post I plan to focus my judgment when it comes to same time. It doesn’t really • Last and probably the most attention on the last bullet men. Some of you can deny Black men would not be able to Continued on page matter because women will important: COLLECTIVELY because I personally believe it if you like, but the fact come with the bullcrap if WE 15

11 BOOK REVIEW Let Not Man — Or Child — Put Asunder From The Best-Selling Novel-”Blended Families” By: Valerie Coleman

may be subtle or blatant. relationship with the man they share. each other, especially in the presence of the Wherefore they o Subtle actions include short, snappy answers • Fear of loss love from the remarried children. This action undermines the integrity are no more twain, and denial that a problem even exists. Note biological parent. From the love shared and authority of the belittled parent. Keep thy but one flesh. What that men often miss the subtle cues exchanged between parent and child stems the foundation tongue from evil (Psalm 34:13). therefore God hath between females. The manipulation is not of the relationship, quality time together and a • Don’t force a connection. Let the child set the joined together, perceived as disrespect and oftentimes goes stable environment. A child will do anything pace of the relationship. Innocent attempts to let not man put unaddressed. in his or her power to ensure that the love expedite family cohesion may be perceived as asunder. o The root of blatant manipulation is anger is not taken away, not realizing that it never intrusive and can cause the child to withdraw ~ Matthew 19:6 with behavior that includes fighting, self- left. This sense of rejection breeds low self- or become defensive. They that wait upon the mutilation, destruction of property, poor esteem and self-blame that is projected onto Lord shall renew their strength (Isaiah 40:31). How many times school progress and discord between peers and the stepparent. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to have you read authority figures. • Shattered dream that parents will remarry. wrath: but bring them up in the admonition of that Scripture and • Depression is defined as anger turned inward. When a biological parent solidifies commitment the Lord (Ephesians 6:4). took “man” to mean “adult?” What about the Symptoms of internalized anger include to “an outsider,” the child’s hopes, dreams and • Empowerment is mandatory. children? As master manipulators, the children change in appetite and sleep habits, isolation prayers are flung into oblivion. Blame falls o The biological parents, especially the in a stepfamily can wreak more havoc in a from others, lack of interest and anxiety. upon the stepparent for creating the abyss in custodial parent, must give the child permission marriage than a tsunami reaching landfall. the child’s heart and aggression ensues. to like the stepparent by empowerment Consider the tactics that your biological Cause through affirmation. For example, setting children use to “get over” on you. They will Understanding a child’s motivation for Solution the ground rules for expected behavior could tell half-truths to make you believe the other rebellion can help direct parenting techniques Everyone in a stepfamily is looking for include instructions such as, “Remember, my parent granted permission for a sleepover, and alleviate some frustration. acceptance. Children, stepparents, custodial rules travel with you. They do not stay at our insist that they did not have any homework • Fear of being disloyal to the biological and non-custodial parents will confuse the house.” This skill transfers parental authority and even forge your name on a letter from their parent is probably the greatest source of need for acceptance with rejection. As a to the non-custodial and stepparent. teacher. Now let’s complicate those actions anxiety for the child. Children have an innate subconscious attempt at self-preservation, o Empowerment and support from the non- by adding a rebellious stepchild, an angry allegiance to their biological parents and may members retreat to the “I’ll-reject-you-before- custodial parent is critical to the development custodial parent, a complacent non-custodial sabotage the relationship with the stepparent you-reject-me” mentality. of a healthy stepfamily. If the parents continue parent and a disillusioned stepparent. The end to maintain a sense of loyalty. Experts indicate to reinforce their stance when the child tries to result can be devastating. that the toughest bond to forge is between the • Parents must model the behavior they want overstep boundaries and challenge authority, stepmother and stepdaughter. This hindrance their children to exhibit. Children watch your they uphold the united front. Without Symptoms is mainly a result of the strong relationship every move and become master mimics. Train cooperation between adults, a common vision Because children have difficulty between the biological mother and daughter. up a child in the way he should go: and when becomes division allowing the child to divide communicating their feelings it manifests Another factor is the jockeying for position he is old, he will not depart from it (Proverbs and conquer. through aggressive behavior. between females. The stepmother and 22:6). o The last form of empowerment develops • Manipulation is a defense mechanism to stepdaughter may feel mutual resentment and • It is imperative that the parents, biological overcome the fear of rejection or loss. Actions jealousy toward each other because of the and step, do not speak negatively about Continued on page 16 MELADIMUSIC MCNAIR REVIEW REPORT Ailing Remedy By: Meladi McNair

After long, hard contemplation, the only thing I be stained with false “hopes”, symbolized by our could come up with was the fact that our past has plethora of monuments of liberty – churches. Faith influenced us in positive and negative aspects. is undoubtedly a necessary thing when facing Although we have come a long way with our hard times, but why allow faith to interfere with physical freedoms and been a historical influence yet another God-given gift? The gift of common with ending racial separation, we seemingly sense? If you are not employed, common sense have yet to break free of the mental shackles that says find or create a job. Not a church. There enslave/d our minds. is no profit in going to church. If we have no income, no home, then by society’s As far as we know, standards, we are ineffective. in the days of active Why allow hope to fill us instead physical slavery, of determination? Determination Someone posed a great question to me that church was the one fuels revolution. Although spiritual I could not answer. “Meladi, why is that black place slaves had a growth is an innate necessitate for people complain about not having jobs, yet sense of freedom and most, (particularly in the black instead of black community leaders providing salvation to come. community), spiritual growth only career opportunities within their communities, Why is it that we feeds us internally, leaving our they build churches?” can’t let go of that mentality? Could we be holding external needs without resolution. I laughed initially, but my giggling was silenced ourselves back from progress by harboring when I thought about the inquiry logically. “Change will come ONE day” ideas, instead of Remember – Martin Luther King didn’t “hope” Why is it that African Americans continue to acknowledging the freedoms we have now and for segregation to end. He fought until the change build pillars of faith instead of buying/starting pushing for more change? It is just my belief that took effect – and he didn’t always stand inside a businesses that will advance their community? until we let go of the past, our future will always church!

12 SPORTS Despite generating billions, many of LeBron’s fellow ballers end up broke. Why? By: JESSE MUHAMMAD

new home, Mr. Montadan wrote. the unsuccessful lawsuits he filed against his former law firm, Mr. “Should James opt for the Pippen owed U.S.Bank more than $5 million in principal, interest orange and blue, Madison and attorneys’ fees, which he reportedly could not afford. Square Garden would see an On June 30 of this year, Mr. Pippen left the Cook County courthouse estimated $10 million to $20 in tears after a jury awarded him $2 million out of the $8.2 million million revenue surge, according he was seeking in one of those lawsuits against two attorneys at the to Patrick Rishe, an economics Chicago law firm Pedersen & Houpt. Mr. Pippen accused them of professor at Webster University. malpractice in the 2002 purchasing of a Gulfstream II corporate jet And Forbes magazine estimated which stayed grounded due to a lack of inspection. Mr. Pippen paid that the team’s valuation would $4 million for the jet but later found out it needed $1 million worth climb $150 million, to over $700 of engine repair. million,” he added, looking at Mr. “I don’t want to really say anything, I’m just exhausted and tired,” James’ impact as a Knick. Mr. Pippen said, according to a Chicago newspaper, before leaving In 1998 Fortune magazine the courthouse. calculated superstar Michael The Honorable Minister Louis Farrakhan, in a major recent address Jordan’s economic impact and in , pointed out how Black entertainers, celebrities and sports concluded “The Jordan Effect” figures have been exploited, dying broke while their managers, often was “$10 billion—and counting” Jewish managers, end up rich. from his rookie year in the NBA “Now they have decided, ‘You know. We have to change this. in 1984. Just to name a few areas New strategy! The old strategy was ‘let them die broke,’ but today, where MJ hit hard: Fortune said they’ve developed a new strategy: ‘Let’s make our Negroes rich,” Mr. Jordan’s impact on NBA he said, speaking June 26, in an address titled “Who Are the Real attendance was estimated to Children of Israel?” be $165 million, and on the “I have a list of NBA owners. See it’s like a plantation; you’re just a Black athletes generate billions with salaries, endorsements, league’s television revenues at $366 million. Using other methods, piece of meat throwing balls in a hoop. … You’re a rich slave, you’re tv commercials and overall economic impact when they play. But the magazine estimated Jordan’s impact on the growth of the NBA’s sharecropping again,” the Minister said. when playing days are over too many are broke, discarded and licensed products (“official” caps, shirts, jerseys, etc.), at $3.1 billion. “Before they go to the pros, these men lack the training and remain Black America’s untapped resource While Mr. Jordan’s finances and Mr. James finances look healthy, preparation to know how to make the right decisions. Most who (FinalCall.com) - From executive boardrooms to school yard too often professional athletes end up broke at the end of their guide them do not have their best interest at heart so they spend a basketball courts, sporting fans across the country are closely careers and Black America loses a potentially valuable resource for lot of money because they do not have guidance on how to build watching to see which city will win the LeBron James sweepstakes. investment—investment that could be good for the athletes and good wealth,” speaker and author George C. Fraser told The Final Call. The NBA free agent is being courted by multiple teams looking to for the community. Mr. Fraser is the CEO of Fraser Net Inc., a global networking not only boost their chances of winning a championship but take “The sports industry is worth $410 billion and it is unfair that Black movement focused on increasing opportunities, wealth and jobs for advantage of the multi-million dollar brand attached to Mr. James’ athletes are largely generating this revenue yet we’re only the labor Blacks. name to drive their local economy. force. Without Black players there would be no games so why Despite making a little over $10 million this year as a member of the As one of the highest paid athlete endorsers in the world, Mr. James should we not work to influence our athletes to marshal Knicks and nearly $60 million thus far in his career, Eddy Curry is in opted to test his options after seven seasons with the Cleveland their resources to invest in our communities?” asked serious debt while still shooting the ball. According to an Associated Cavaliers. During that tenure he surprisingly terminated his first Attorney Everett Glenn, CEO of the California- Press report, Mr. Curry defaulted on a $575,000 loan with an 85 agent Aaron Goodmin, who was able to negotiate nearly $140 based Entertainment and Sports Plus firm. percent interest rate and has been ordered by a judge to pay back million in endorsement deals for the 25-year-old. From baller to broke, an epidemic? $1.2 million to All-star Capital Inc. He lost his $3.7 million Now Mr. James’ former high school teammate Maverick Carter A report by Sports Illustrated noted that home to foreclosure while trying to maintain monthly expenses and two other friends sit at the helm of management and the nearly 80 percent of National Football exceeding a quarter of a million dollars. stakes are high as teams present their best deals to capture League players are on the verge “These players don’t keep in mind that their careers won’t the NBA’s reigning MVP. of bankruptcy two years last forever. They are made to think that these financial According to a report on Forbes.com, Mr. James after t h e y pitfalls will not happen to them so they don’t even met with executives from the New York Knicks maintain their checkbooks right,” said Gregory on July 1 as they presented a commissioned study Lee told The Final Call. from a marketing consultant that predicts that Mr. Mr. Lee is senior assistant sports editor for James could earn at least $1 billion in salary and the Boston Globe and chairs the Sports Task endorsements if he chooses to make Madison Force for the National Association of Black Square Garden his home for at least 13 years. Journalists.“They may master the playing fields That figure exceeds what he would reportedly of basketball, football and baseball but they earn if he stayed in Cleveland or played in either can’t seem to master the financial fields,” said Chicago or Miami. But that study is not stopping Mr. Lee. people like New Jersey Nets part owner Jay-Z from “They don’t know how to pick the right advisors. working to sway the high dollar player. Only $4 million They allow others to run everything for them so separates the Knicks and the Nets in the amount of they don’t even understand finances, real estate, money they have to spend under the NBA’s salary cap, insurance or even know their own net worth,” said with $34 million and $30 million, respectively. Mr. Glenn. “Winning championships is the most important driver For example, Mr. Glenn cites the plight of former of brand value. However, if LeBron James seeks to Boston Celtics star Antoine Walker, who earned maximize his personal brand value, he must not only more than $110 million yet filed for bankruptcy consider where he can win the most championships, but also which in 2009, one year after retiring from the NBA. franchise brand and market will return the greatest value for those Mr. Walker’s financial moves reportedly included supporting 70 achievements,” the Knicks study said. retire. family and friends, building his mother a 10-bathroom mansion, Contract signings are scheduled to begin on July 8. N B A owning at least two Bentleys and two Mercedes and collecting But the courtship of King James is about much more than winning players aren’t watches. a basketball championship, bragging rights or the love of the game. fairing any better, Mr. Walker also must stand trial due to allegedly racking up “If James played for a team like the woeful New York Knicks or with 60 percent o f gambling debts nearing $1 million owed to three different casinos the disastrous New Jersey Nets, the economic impact on the area its former players in Las Vegas. Since unpaid markers are considered bad checking would be immense. According to the New York City Economic ending up broke writing in Sin City, Mr. Walker could face up to 12 years in prison if Development Corp. (EDC), each Knicks or Nets playoff game within five years of convicted. He also still owes $770,000 in restitution, penalties and would deliver some $3.6 million to the region. And if you are ready retirement. Several court fees. to dream the impossible dream, an NBA title could inject close to Black athletes have “A lot of these young men and women, not just in sports but in $60 million into the local economy,” writer Maccabee Montadon, of squandered millions entertainment as well, forget that one day they’re not going to be on Daily Finance on AOL.com noted. of dollars due to bad business decisions, divorces, child support top. Just look at what happened to Antoine Walker, Allen Iverson; I The potential financial pull of a James entry prompted major payments, uncontrolled lavish spending, overall poor financial could go on and on. It’s a shame that a guy like Antoine can make campaigns in Cleveland, New York, Chicago, Miami, New Jersey planning and lack of personal vision, according to Atty. Glenn. $110 million and now he’s broke,” said Earvin “Magic” Johnson, and Los Angeles. “There are no programs in place to transition them from boys to real an NBA great and businessman, in a recent interview with Black Mr. James would have major impact though the Knicks, who were men when they go pro so these leagues are able to intoxicate them Enterprise magazine. one of the NBA’s worst teams, still sell out Madison Square Garden. with fame, quick money and having fun. When you have no vision Another report by Sport Illustrated stated that some of the top reasons When looking at the James economic impact, the EDC considered for your life, you get restless and make foolish decisions,” he said. why athletes go broke include the everything from likely additional customers in restaurants and bars, Former NBA great Scottie Pippen earned an estimated $120 million lure of seemingly good investments, Continued on to increased TV ratings and even the taxes that would be paid on a in salary alone over a 17-year career with the Chicago Bulls. Due to risky ventures, misplaced trust, page 14

13 Black Hair Industry Taken Over continued... BillionDollar Brothers Continued..... Point blank...Koreans try to mostly sell are those produced by African American lack of unity, lack of pride in our culture, family matters, and mismanaged generosity with their own shit in their black hair supply owned and Atlanta based, Bonner and lack of education. I suppose Madam new found friends. stores. Brothers. I use shampoo, conditioner, CJ Walker is rolling over in her grave right According to MSNBC, former NBA player Latrell •Koreans have UNITY....African oil sheen, and oil/moisturizer.... that’s it. now. Asians now run the “black” business Sprewell had his Italian yacht seized by a U.S. Americans have EXCUSES. I don’t use weave. I don’t need a wig. I she pioneered. Asians now run the “black” marshal after his mortgage went into default. • Koreans are often racist yet they have no don’t need curling irons or flat irons. I business she used to employ black people. Eventually his home, valued at $5.4 million, went quarrel about taking “black” money. don’t have hair growth or split end issues. The “black” business she pioneered is still into foreclosure in 2008 despite the fact that he • Last but perhaps one of most important I don’t have an issue with my hair being funded by black dollars but those black made nearly $100 million during his career. facts....If black women would love what unhealthy. The total amount of money I dollars are now going towards making The former NBA point guard Kenny Anderson is NATURAL we wouldn’t have this spend on my hair within two months is no Asians millionaires. Where the heck is the filed for bankruptcy in 2005 after making an problem. The black hair care industry more than $15.00. I intentionally spend outrage African Americans???? estimated $60 million in his career. He managed to accumulate over $40,000 in monthly expenses use to be a sure way to make money in that money in the “hood” at one beauty to go along with child support for eight children, the black community....that’s not the case supply store owned and operated by a I know some of you are probably thinking, the same number of cars he owned. Financial anymore. Someone is going to make black woman. “Well, even if black people had a choke mismanagement further led to an unmanageable money but 9 times out of 10 it won’t be an My friends/family on the other hand must hold on the black beauty supply industry home in Beverly Hills, a $10,000 monthly African American. have their hair relaxed every four weeks we still wouldn’t reach out to help each allowance, and regular $3,000 giveaways to ($60-$120 depending on where you go other. Everyone would be centered around relatives. In his divorce, he lost nearly $6 million Before I begin this is not a “black people and what you having done), some must their INDIVIDUAL businesses.” While in a prenuptial agreement. vs. niggas” issue. I don’t care what your have the weave (depending on the type there might be some truth to this.... it surely NFL quarterback Michael Vick went from being “Black Identification” might be this is an of hair $10-$50 a pack), Curling irons isn’t true for those of us who have SOME on Forbes 100 list, earning up to $130 million, and issue that affects all African Americans. ($15-upwards of $100 plus), A variety sense of community. This is probably reportedly being one of the world’s richest athletes to later filing bankruptcy, losing two homes and Yes, black men it affects you too. Last of Oils, Gels, Shampoos, Conditioners where black people vs. niggas comes into serving jail time for operating an unlawful dog time I checked S-Curls, Oil Sheen, hair ($20-$60). Basically these individuals play. There is an organization out there ring. grease/oil, do-rags, hair clippers and “Soft put most of their paycheck on their heads called The Black Owned Beauty Supply Four-time heavyweight boxing champ Evander fro” are all sold in beauty supply stores. and into the hands of non-blacks. I bet Association. It’s basically a network of Holyfield reportedly made over $250 million No matter our class African Americans they never stopped to think how easier black beauty supply store owners across during his boxing career, but despite this he come together when it comes to our hair. their life would be if they embraced their the country and a guide for those looking reportedly is flat broke also. Mr. Holyfield bought African Americans have always been natural hair. Maybe some have thought to start their own beauty supply store. I a 54,000 square foot home with 109 rooms more concern with their hair than their about it, but they’ve had perms since the must say this was a smart move on their valued at $10 million but eventually lost it due to children’s education, the ownership of age of 5 and don’t know anything else. part....let’s see how far it goes without foreclosure. He was also reportedly thousands of “black” businesses, the state of Black Instead of trying to learn they live in the support of the majority of African dollars behind in child support payments for the 11 children he has fathered. America, and the image of Black America. mental and financial slavery. They also Americans. If we can get something for “That system is only interested in their talent, not Don’t ask me why...I don’t personally pass this mentality on to their offspring nothing we’re all for it. If we can get their development as men. These athletes are not understand it. so the cycle continues. I don’t blame the something for cheap we’re all for it. When taught any life skills. Many of them come out of As someone who walks around with a Koreans for taking advantage of the blind. it comes to supporting those who support poorly guided homes and so they are not nurtured natural Afro I can honestly say I don’t This problem falls solely on the shoulders us even if the price is a little higher....”Oh to think about life after the game stops. So they understand the majority of African of African Americans. The Koreans are forget that!” end up broke,” said Mr. Fraser. Americans and the attention to one’s simply taking advantage of our weak points Please Give Us Your Feedback at: Athletes and potential financial power for Black hair. The only products I use on my hair as pointed out by white counterparts: Our [email protected] community “We want to help our athletes get rid of these disturbing statistics of by linking them with the Some People Blame My Great Civilization continued..... best that our people have to offer in the services Generation continued..... that they need. Every community recycles their years old. Ancient Africans were very well versed in medical diagnosis and treatment with as dollars with their own people. We must do the Parents need to care enough to make their many as 1,000 animal, plant and mineral products used in the treatment of illness. same,” said Mr. Fraser. children priority number ONE. Stop putting All religions are believed to have originated in Africa, including Hinduism, Buddhism, “They have to see that there is more to their men, women, money, sex, and everything Christianity, and Islam. General Massey states that the religious records of all religions including purpose than just the gift of playing sports. else before your children. I won’t lie…. the Christian Bible are traceable and in many cases are direct copies of the religious records of Most people make a true difference by building I think my generation and the one coming ancient Egypt and Nubia. St. Augustine, one of the founding fathers of Christian , wrote something that will last beyond them. They have up behind us is lost (Crack babies of the “What is now called the Christian religion has existed among the ancients and was not absent to think like that. Build businesses.” 1980’s are now grown and they don’t give from the beginning of the human race.” While Blacks make up only 13 percent of the United States population, Black athletes constitute a damn about anything---another blog post The ancient Black Egyptians created paper about 4000 BC, which made the recording of history 80 percent of the players in the NBA, 67 percent to come). However, if we work to break the and science more practical for library storage. It is estimated that over 700,000 books were in the cycle now perhaps there will be hope for of the NFL and 9 percent of MLB. libraries of Egypt before Homer, the father of Western literature, was even born. Both Mr. Fraser and Mr. Glenn see the potential future generations to come. Could it be that Black history is the best kept secret in the world or have politicians, including for this revenue to be channeled towards solving past presidents, denied Black history to accelerate Black disenfranchisement? the issues plaguing Black America. This is why Obesity continued..... they partnered this year to launch Fraser Net’s Please Give Us Your Feedback at: Athlete Initiative for Reform (FAIR), aimed sire to eat healthier, doing so may not be eco- [email protected] at establishing a connection between Black nomically feasible. One in four African-Amer- professionals, organizations, and businesses icans still live in poverty, and there is a strong Black Male School In Inner City continued... and the Black professional athletes to help correlation between low income and obesity. players maximize their personal development Many impoverished neighborhoods do not of allowing the work to pile up on you. wasting your life. Live how you want to while becoming useful contributors to the Black even have an accessible grocery store with af- community That’s where my students get themselves live, not the way society tells you to. fordable, healthy options. It’s not hard to imag- “We need affordable, safe and clean housing. We ine that tasty, inexpensive fast-food beats out into trouble. College is a place to make your dreams have schools without books. We have HBCUs the cost and taste of lean meat, fresh fruits and come true. By working consistently and struggling to pay their bills. Our people need vegetables. 5) College campuses produce tens of expecting the best out of yourself, you can employment. We need support for programs that will provide our youth with alternatives to Fast-food companies also gear marketing ef- thousands of alcoholics every year. If you live a life that fulfills your wildest dreams. violence. Our athletes can help,” said Mr. Glenn. forts toward minority communities. While off- don’t want to drink, then don’t let peer I was a terrible student in high school and The FAIR initiative is further designed to increase hand these ads may appear culturally-sensitive, pressure cause you to do it. While campus I never knew the value of education. In the utilization of Black professionals across all studies show that ethnic minorities are more alcoholism is glorified in media folklore, fact, I only defined myself as an athlete. industries. responsive to these targeted ads and such mar- many students are killed in drunk driving But after the birth of my daughter at Mr. Lee told The Final Call that the NABJ keting is, in fact, manipulative. This poses a accidents or from alcohol poisoning. A lot the age of 18 I decided to invest in my Sports Task Force is partnering with the player associations from the various leagues this year dilemma as many of these ads are for less-than- of rapes occur on campuses every year educational achievement. I found that healthy food and beverage options. to conduct forums to address issues such as the while students are under the influence of it was the greatest and most significant There are, however, national efforts to reverse financial pitfalls. But he encourages parents to these unhealthy perceptions and traditions. The alcohol. I am not here to tell you not to decision I’ve ever made. Please share this start early. “Everyone wants to try to be the next LeBron or “Black Women DO Workout” website and or- drink, but the famous rap song, ‘Let’s All message with anyone you care about. It Get Wasted,’ is a ridiculous blueprint for might save a life. Jordan, but you have a better chance of winning ganizations such as the National Black Mara- the lottery than making it into professional sports. thoners’ Association are encouraging African- We need to instill in our children realistic goals Americans to pursue healthier lifestyles. With and values when it comes to finances, education luck, African-American families can begin Visit Our Website At: and careers,” he said. passing down the traditions of family fitness www.theurbansourcemagazine.com and health, rather than obesity and preventable diseases. 14 The White Supremacy continued..... while the most qualified colored person between white men over what should be is totally neglected, nothing from them done with, about or to the Blacks they is appreciated.” found in their captured territories.” In resolving the question of whether “we Concluding on this point, Dr. Thompson are our own worst enemy,” we should informs us “The International Negro reflect that for over three hundred years Question, or Nigger Question has, for White people openly discussed African the most part, been an integral past of people as a problem (1600 - 1900). European Civilization. Wherever in Today they still discuss us as a problem the world there existed. Europeans in but the language is coded differently. proximity to the African, inevitably the As Dr. Anderson Thompson has written question arose as to how (not why, I on the discussions that White people nor whether) the Black man should be have had on what they have historically exploited or should be eliminated.” called “the Negro Problem,” “There is a We are not our own worst enemy— duality in the story of western white man even though some African people in and his culture, which, paradoxically, this country behave in manners that are is thrown into sharp relief wherever not in our best interest. What we must the Black man appears (or is dropped) continue to do is to understand this on the scene.” Dr. Thompson says, negative African behavior and assume “Whenever or wherever the White man responsibility for changing it. The exists in proximity to the Blacks the enemy and problem is White supremacy Negro Question appears.” and its continued impact on us. The idea of the “Negro Question” is discussed further when Dr. Thompson (Dr. Conrad Worrill, is National Why Courting Has Gone Out The Window continued..... writes, “The Negro Question in Western Chairman Emeritus of the National Black If enough black women were saying, “No sir… answer is NO! I believe the standards women society has been a perennial subject of United Front (NBUF) located at 1809 if you want to get to know me you better come hold for themselves come from their mother. If endless international debates, actions, East 71st Street, Suite 211, Chicago, correct,” black men would have no choice but to a young girl grew up seeing her mother display decisions, wars, riots, lynching’s—all Illinois, 60649. For more information fall in line. This type of thinking is ineffective low standards in men what is she to grow up to of which flow out a recurring Western call, 773-493-0900, e-mail: nbufchic@ if only a handful of black women live by it. do? Do hoes raise hoes? We seriously need to dialogue: a conversation (for Europeans sbcglobal.net or visit nbufront.org.) It would take a collective effort on the part of take a look at the individuals raising young black only) which for a long time took place black women to turn this situation around. This women who in turn grow up to feel it’s perfectly is why I believe a modern day black feminism okay to be cut buddies and friends with benefits. movement is needed…forget what a hater has Nine times out of ten I bet their “mother” wasn’t Civil Rights Groups Showdown continued..... to say. Unity among black women is the ONLY a mother like my mother, who would beat the Washington. The march, and King’s call to Network and the NAACP to oppose Beck’s answer. Black women need to form some type of shit out of me for being anything less than a lady action, galvanized the U.S. and helped spur rally in order to pander to their African- unity in order to remedy and address problems around a man. lawmakers to pass the Civil Rights Act the American power base. like this one. I guarantee if black women came following year and the Voting Rights Act in Kebreau said Beck is uniting people behind together and said, “We’re not accepting this shit Our primary guidance into womanhood is our 1965. the idea of what America stood for, while anymore,” things would change for the better. mother…not our father. It is she who is the “Dr. King stood for a unified America King worked to unite people behind a vision teacher of morality and code of conduct for a around civil rights, cooperation and of what America was supposed to be. I know some people reading this will say young girl. Most often mothers lead by example tolerance,” Morial said. “Glenn Beck stands “What’s interesting about what Glenn Beck “Von, it’s because black fathers are not around (a scary thought considering what I see from for something very different.” and his movement and what he’s trying to anymore or not in the home anymore,” and this black mothers today). Stefanie Brown, national field director for do,” Kebreau said, “it’s not, in my opinion, is true. Back in the day when black fathers were the NAACP, said Beck’s scheduling his that much different from what was the in the home (and the black community was “But Von…how can black women learn how to “Restoring Honor” event on the same date original intention of civil rights and the civil patriarchal) black boys/young men had to come treat men if their father isn’t there?” and location as the March on Washington rights movement in the 1960s for people of correct if they wanted to get close to someone’s was a way to manipulate King’s legacy and color--in that they were demanding equality daughter. That meant going to the young lady’s Again this falls on the mother…not the father. that of the civil rights movement for his own within society.” house and meeting her parents before taking her The only thing my father taught me as far as benefit. The has run afoul out. The young man not only had to win over boys go was how to recognize a DOG. He didn’t “What better way to get attention, and to get of African-American leaders in the past. the daughter, but he also had to win over the teach me how to treat a man (there is something people riled up and to go to your website Most notably in March, during debate on whole family. Those days are LONG gone… sickening about the idea of a father teaching a and see what you’re talking about than to the Obama administration’s health care and I don’t think they’re coming back (at least daughter this type of shit). He didn’t teach me choose such a date as that?” she asked. legislation, some Tea Party protesters jeered not like before). I’m lucky enough to have how carry myself like a lady. He simply taught Besides Aug. 28th’s association with King some members of the Congressional Black grown up in one of these households and I’m me how to recognize a flawed man. I watched and the March on Washington, on that date in Caucus with racist taunts--including civil grateful for it. how my mother treated my father growing up. 1955, the body of Emmett Till--the African- rights veteran Rep. John Lewis. I’m sure other young girls watched this too. American 14-year-old who was lynched However, Kebreau said conservatism was If we are to blame the absence of black fathers Unfortunately, I think those who have fucked up in Mississippi after allegedly whistling at inclusive and had come a long way from for this problem are they to be blamed for the relationships with men probably watched their a white woman--was found. Aug. 28th is what it was decades ago. courting issues of both black boys and black mothers in similar situations. also the date, in 2008, when Barack Obama “I know a lot of people want to hold onto that girls? By this I mean are black fathers to be announced he’d accepted the Democratic mind frame, that the conservative movement blamed for black boys not knowing how to Anyway, I think I’m rambling. I’m going to cut nomination for president. of the 1960s is the same movement of today, treat women and black girls not knowing how this blog short. Sorry for the wait…I’m a busy “It’s a travesty that they feel as though and I find that completely false,” he said. to carry themselves around men? My honest woman these days. Any thoughts? [the “Restoring Honor” rally] would be Next month’s “Reclaiming the Dream” appropriate, on a day that’s really symbolic event will start with a rally at a local high Please Give Us Your Feedback at: for people of color,” Brown said. school before culminating with a march to [email protected] She said she was particularly alarmed by the site of the planned King Memorial, near Beck’s desire to “reclaim” civil rights. the Lincoln Memorial. Martin Luther King That statement, she said, implies that since III is also lending his support, Morial said. Beck’s ideological predecessors gave the The NAACP was also exploring hosting U.S. the civil rights movement, they could events in various U.S. cities on Aug. 28th, take it away. Brown said. “For me, those are very inflammatory words The rally won’t be a means to confront Beck that should not be overlooked,” Brown said. and his supporters, Sharpton said, but will Webb and Kebreau, the Tea Party members, highlight King’s dream of equal rights for rejected Brown, Morial and Sharpton’s all, the fact that it remains unfulfilled and contentions, and said today’s Tea Party show support for other causes, including movement was in some ways similar to the immigration rights, women’s rights and civil rights movement. worker’s rights. Webb said those in both the Tea Party and “August 28th is our moment in history,” he civil rights movements were “driven by a said, “and we should not let it be hijacked by need for fundamental fairness,” and that he those who don’t even believe in the dream expected groups like the National Action or the form of government of the dream.”

15 Are We There Yet continued..... Black Women Who Have A through the exchange between the stepparent and Decent Man continued..... stepchild. Self-empowerment centers on mutual more Desiree talked trash about her husband the respect — I’ll respect you and you’ll respect me. • Validation is another tool to build a cohesive family more enraged I grew until eventually I called Desiree unit. out and surprised myself by defending her husband. o Addressing the child with a term of endearment “Didn’t you know he was jobless before you married or simply showing up as promised for a visit speaks him?” I asked. volumes to a child’s esteem. Both my grandmother and Desiree looked surprised o Empathy helps to validate the child’s feelings. by my outburst, and neither of them said a word so I Acknowledge that you realize the child is apprehensive. For example, “I know the divorce continued. “You should be happy that any man wants is not an easy adjustment for you,” lends to open your ghetto a… (catches evil eye from grandmother) communication and eases the child’s fears. Effective uh…butt. It’s not like you have men lined up at the parenting requires observation and understanding of a door begging to date you. You have a husband who child’s behavior. Awareness is the first step to creating loves you and your children unconditionally. I don’t an atmosphere of peace, love and joy in your home. know too many black men who would step in and Valerie L. Coleman is the award-winning author of raise another man’s children as if they are his own. Blended Families An Anthology — a real-life account He’s the only real father any of your children has of stepfamily dynamics because we are not the Brady ever known. You need to get down on your knees Bunch! Available on Amazon.com and fine bookstores and kiss his feet for even giving you the time of day.” everywhere! ISBN-13: 978-0-9786066-0-2 After I said that all hell broke loose. The conversation ended with my cousin grabbing up her bad kids Copyright © 2007 by Valerie L. Coleman All rights reserved and leaving. Black women…some of us need to be Pen of the Writer, LLC checked. I can understand throwing the deadbeat 893 South Main Street - PMB 175 good for nothing black men under the bus, but why Englewood, Ohio 45322 put down those who are trying to do right? Yes, I Penofthewriter.com sometimes generalize on this blog, but let’s be [email protected] clear…if you’re a black man who is doing good I’m 937.307.0760 NEVER talking to or about you.

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