EARLY STUFF Copyright © 2013 & 2020 by Sam Pink Cover art copyright © 2020 by Sam Pink Cover design by Tyler Crumrine Edited by Cameron Pierce Paperback ISBN: 978-1-948687-16-4 Hardcover ISBN: 978-1-948687-17-1 eBook ISBN (EPUB): 978-1-948687-18-8 LCCN: 2019956147 This book may not be reproduced in whole or in part, except for the inclusion of brief quotations in a review, without permission in writing from the author or publisher. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise), without prior permission of the publisher. Requests for permission should be directed to
[email protected], or mailed to 11:11 Press LLC, 4757 15th Ave S., Minneapolis, MN 55407. FIRST EDITION 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 you are walking past a cemetery, and you think, “oh yeah, that’s right.” TABLE OF CONTENTS 001 SELECTIONS FROM I AM GOING TO CLONE MYSELF THEN KILL THE CLONE AND EAT IT 085 FROWNS NEED FRIENDS TOO 261 NO ONE CAN DO ANYTHING WORSE TO YOU THAN YOU CAN 397 GERALD MCCLELLAN VERSUS NIGEL BENN SELECTIONS FROM I AM GOING TO CLONE MYSELF THEN KILL THE CLONE AND EAT IT TODAY I HOPE A BUS ACCIDENTALLY KILLS ME Today I hope a bus accidentally kills me. That way, people will look back on everything I did in my life and think about how special it was, because a bus accidentally killed me.