make your workout off the chain

In The Secret Race, Tyler scrawled across the asphalt in Where Hamilton talks about lactic acid chalk, sheep wandering into to stay filling every part of his body: his the road… Yes, sheep. With two fingernails, even his eyelids. million of them in , and “Sometimes you get past [that and little-to-no fencing, they’re what to limit] and into a place where a unique hazard, as I discover the pain increases so much when one lying by the side of eat that you disappear completely.” the road clambers up as I pass, fancy riding I disappear. When I reappear, making me swerve as it bleats it yourself? I am at the side of the road, its annoyance. here are the retching, my vision slowly With 20km to go, I hit the must-visits returning. And that wasn’t even wall. I have a long, unappealing As the Tour de hots up, a big climb (compared to, say, trek back to , and my Howard Calvert looks ahead to The Chambers, Mont Ventoux). But the pain legs feel like they have a bag of High-end self-catering was worth it for the downhill, sand wrapped round each one. next year’s race, which starts apartments right in where I reach 63kmh (and I’ve run out of Nectar energy in Leeds. By cycling Stage 1 the city, with plenty of nearly collide with a dry-stone gels and water, and as I grind room for your bike wall). I finally arrive at my my way down the A61 with (morethanjustabed. lodgings in Bainbridge, load haulage lorries throwing gravel

com). up on carbs and pass out. “you can go mountain-biking from the resurfaced road in on this, right?” my face, I begin to hallucinate Yorebridge House, Day 2 about water. And then, there Bainbridge The ride begins with nervous “it is truly it is, like a hazy mirage: a This five-star hotel is anticipation at what lies ahead: Co-operative petrol station. just over half way Buttertubs Pass, which spectacular, I pull in and buy a huge bottle round the course. It’s contains the highest point of and i have to of water, which replenishes also one of the few Stage 1, peaking at 526m, with stop myself enough energy to get me up places to still have a 6.5 per cent gradient. I was braking every Ripon Road to the finish line. Tour de rooms for the Tour: told by locals that Buttertubs – Sure, it’s a sprint finish Mark 5k to take it releases them so-called because farmers Cavendish would struggle to on 5 July used to keep their butter cool a picture” suppress a snigger at, but, as (yorebridgehouse. in the limestone potholes as rolling off me and my I punch the air, Wiggins-style, co.uk). they passed – is “England’s heartbeat peaks at 168 (the and receive strange looks from version of the Alps”, and is “the highest of the trip, according a pensioner on a scooter, it Brasserie Blanc, Leeds country’s only truly spectacular to my Suunto Ambit2). dawns on me that if I were in As Raymond Blanc road” according to Jeremy As I crawl to the peak, the real Tour, I’d still have 21 was vocally behind Clarkson. I try not to let that maybe it is the lack of oxygen, days of racing ahead of me. Yorkshire Yorkshire’s Tour bid, it dampen my excitement. but I picture myself in the To those racers, I doff would be rude not to The pain eclipses the leading group in a year’s time, my flat cap. visit his restaurant previous day. With the sun the roads lined with people, all (brasserieblanc.com). beating down, the sweat is roaring, Yorkshire phrases letour.yorkshire.com here are many way too quick), and I’m away, leaving me spluttering King’s Arms, Askrigg hazards to soon flying past the in its wake. It seems there’s a pub Gunnerside Feetham Reeth cyclists during deer-filled surroundings Once at , the route Thwaite every few hundred Grinton T the Tour of Harewood House. heads north and into the Muker Low metres in the Dales, Row Buttertubs Cell uel de France: It’s at this point I should Dales. Ahead lies some Pass

but this is a highlight at le spectators (as Lance say that, aside from my serious cycling: home to the Bainbridge b la ports F ports (kingsarmsaskrigg. i Armstrong found in 2003), commute, I don’t get out landscape that inspired the Hawes co.uk). Aysgarth Middleham S tar policemen (Laurent Jalabert, on my bike much, so the Brownlee brothers to climb Thoralby c yorkshire ava oth 1994), cars (Antonia Flecha, thought of tackling 190km in on to their bikes. As Jonny dales East

The Fat Badger, Witton Ne om, 2011), even labradors one go was never an option. says in Swim Bike Run, “I national c park Kidstones Harrogate West to. (Marcus Burghardt, 2010). As much as I wanted to push loved the idea of cycling from n This is just round Tanfield As of 2014, Swaledale sheep myself to the limit, the best busy, urban Leeds into the

the corner from the Buckden b £79.99, helmet North n

can be added to that list. way, I decided, was to split quiet, empty Yorkshire Dales. o finish line, where Stainley b Next year, the Tour comes it in half: 100km in a day Wind in your face, pulling at suu £275; t2 bi

you can eat a Fat Kettlewell m

to Yorkshire, with T’Grand sounded more achievable. your jersey. Hedges blurring Car ro

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Fat Fat Badger A to north n Départ taking place on 5 July And I could have lunch (and past.” Major roads give way to n

burger, guilt-free uu Kilnsey yorkshire from Leeds’ city centre and maybe an ale) in one of the minor, bordered by dry-stone S . (thefatbadger.co.uk). ending 190km later in many famously good walls and rolling hills. It is cc d Boardma d

Threshfield n Harrogate, after twisting Yorkshire pubs en route. truly spectacular, and I have South Stainley

through some of the Dales’ As I start to clock up the to stop myself braking every Ripley

most stunning, and lung- kilometres, I am beginning to 5k to take a picture. Rylstone Killinghall a £599 ke rapha; rapha. rapha; destroying, scenery. So realise that cycling on my After three hours, I reach o.uk c ShortList sent me to see how own is going to be tough. No the tiny village of Kettlewell Draughton by £130 harrogate y much of a challenge it will be. one to slipstream, no peloton and refuel via the Blue Bell bi road port S n to soak up the miles. So Inn’s Famous Meat & Potato skipton Jerse Esscroft ic Day 1 when a tractor overtakes on Pie. It is, like the scenery, a Unlike the Tour riders, I kick the A65 to Skipton, I seize my thing of beauty. An hour later, harewood Boardma

Burley In Class ed S Wharfedale I things off with an energy- chance and tuck myself however, during the tough athletestore. gels; y om. R om. c

giving espresso from Laynes in behind it. The lack of climb into Aysgarth, it erg n

the HARR NNY in Leeds. It works: my climb headwind means I am feels less glorious: it’s Moortown O out of the city is quick (80km cruising with significantly the biggest ascent of the “yes, i’m leading the later, as my legs crash and less effort. Until we hit an route so far, with a steep route leeds peloton! wait, where’s my vision tunnels, I realise incline and the driver powers climb to 433m. the peloton?” alfords; halfords. alfords; photographs: J photographs: H £33 for 24 x 40ml e 40ml x 24 for £33

40 www.ShortList.com www.ShortList.com 41