18 Features April 6, 2004 THE RETRIEVER Ella’s magical potential not just wasted, but entirely destroyed Worn Pages Loved Books of the Past Kaidye Hansen KAIDYE HANSEN HarperChildrens.com that, “A mime was brought Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff in to help. The idea was that Ella’s body would At a recent movie screening I mately eats him for supper when the process a command before her mind caught up. attended, there was one line that caught mouse confronts him with his actions. Obedience is a quality that is desired in chil- The mime helped Anne reflect that idea in her me completely off guard, a character “You see, that’s the way of the world, “ dren by their parents, in students by their teachers, movements.” While this is hearsay to the book, it said something along the lines of, is the final line the brothers penned to in masochists by their dominatrices, and many was well done on screen. “Stupid .” The reason that particular story. more inferior-superior relationships. However, it is The humor is kept mostly to obvious and that this surprised me so is that when I From changeling babies to always a choice. The children and students can childish quips, with a few tongue-in-cheek laughs was younger I had an 800 page complete mounds to whales marrying young make judgment on their orders and decide whether almost lost amid the garish script. Most of the edition of the Brothers Grimm’s Tales damsels and housing them in or not to follow them. The masochist has the safety humor was pointedly infantile, such as the troll’s that I read and reread until it literally glass houses under the ocean, word, “No,” for when a command crosses their enormous nether regions with plumber crack galore fell apart from use. The stories were the Brothers Grimm main- threshold of comfort. What would it be like then, if hanging out of the back of their very medieval realistic to the way of the world tain a humorous riposte that choice, that active participation in your actions denim shorts. in their fantastical detail; and an astounding level was taken from you? If you had to do anything put The movie sets themselves were so entirely dis- much in the way that of ingenuity. The to you in a declarative sentence? gusting that they reminded me of a doodle my the movie I was heroes are not explores this in her rich take on the story, friend drew while visiting the Luxor in Vegas, with watching was not. quite so heroic Ella Enchanted, which the movie is loosely based two figures depicting history and the hotel/casino, While the original and the villains on. one bending the other one over in a rather graphic stories by the Brothers always get The book itself is shelved in the pre-teen or nature. In one completely added in and ridiculous are often touted as grue- their comeup- children’s section of most bookstores, so it is under- scene at the Medieval Mall, it shows shoppers riding some, gory or grim, I pance. Amazing standable to see why the movie adaptation was on a wooden escalator, and then widens the camera found them to be delightfully works of obvious fiction taken in the direction it was. Where the book was angle to show a large paddlewheel turning the esca- refreshing in their honesty and telling of are presented in such a way that you full of renaissance-esque detail while still being lator but then fails to include the actual locomotion, the world the way it is while still almost believe them, due to the sinceri- delightfully fantastic, the scriptwriters chose to go such as a stream. Speaking of the “Mall,” product delighting the reader with amazing and ty of the characters actions. the way of Columbia-Tristar’s A Knights Tale, an placement was so entirely out of place it caused me original stories. One story I remember I would definitely recommend this adaptation of The Canterbury Tales. The costumes actual physical pain. Phrases including those remi- in particular is that of a cat and a mouse book to keep around to pick up and could very loosely be described as belonging to the niscent of Pottery Barn were bantered repeatedly who decide to take up residence togeth- read a story now and then, or for a daily time period, as much as a sparkly velour top cut in back and forth while panning through large textile , and the cat, of course, cheats the dose of reality, or… if you prefer, grim a similar fashion to a peasant’s tunic can be. packed shops - obviously aimed at the parents mouse of food, lies to him, and ulti- and gore. has seen much debate in accompanying their children to the movie. being cast as Ella, the girl enchanted from birth with Overall, the movie almost entirely failed to the “gift” of obedience by the fairy Lucinda. She was capture the magic of the book, which is so amazing well cast in the role, it is simply the role itself that that I reread it a 27th time last week just to be ready was too weak. Ella as written in the book has quite for the screening. My recommendation is that, a number of qualities, which are slowly shown to unless you are still in Underoos or enjoy the dumb- the reader by experiences in her life. The scriptwrit- ed-down Teletubbies, you go out and pick up the ers of the adaptation simply attempted to take the book, which cost less than a movie ticket. The most interesting experiences and qualities and movie itself, in addition to being the worst book-to- quickly and cheaply twist them into a heroine for a movie adaptation I have seen yet, is not only not money-making movie targeting to tweens the world worth paying for, it actually rather induces the gag over. All they succeeded in doing was to ruin any reflex. (1/2 ★ out of 4) potential the movie had coming from the book, as well as Hathaway’s ability to portray a potentially amazing role model. Besides Hathaway, there is a heavy mix of known and unknown stars, with Minnie Driver as the much-too-young and Cary Elwes (The Princess Bride) as the added in Evil Uncle to the young prince Charmont. As much as Cary’s role is superfluous and ridiculous in the original story, he does wonderfully in his over-the-top A jiffy is an actual unit of dastardly role. Probably the best casting was that of Parminder Nagra () as the exotic and time for 1/100th of a sec- thoughtful Areida, whose character, as well as herself, got far too little screen time. ond Interestingly enough, while Miramax couldn’t seem to get a good script together, they did a bang-up job www.opey.com with the directing itself. Levine, who Courtesy of Miramax was on site for a few days in Ireland Modern Medieval Teen: Ella’s stepsistershead up the mentioned in an interview with fan club. [insert gagging sounds here]

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