, H • u c 5 D SACRAMENTO - San Bernardino Valley College student Janice Camerena has named UC President Jack Peltason as one of several defendants in an anti-affirma­ tive action suit filed on March 16. Camerena, a Caucasian, 7 claims she-was asked to leave UC SAN DIEGO MONDAY, APRIL 3,1995 VOLUME 85, ISSUE 1 an English 101 class because she was told it was intended for black students ouly. The suit opposes the community Professional School Fee Hike Approved colleges' Black Bridge Project, designed to help The widely anticipated fee hikes, for medicine, $7,670 for dentistry, Young pointed out that one-third of African Americans succeed in REGENTS: Medical which were endorsed during a re­ $7,733 for veterinary medicine, the increases will go toward finan­ college. Peltason has been school costs set to gents committee meeting the previ­ $9,157 for law and $8,949 for busi­ cial aid. named in the suit because the jump $2,000 annually ous day, will only affect new stu­ ness (except at UC Riverside, which "The cost is going up, but the UC President's Office dents entering UC professional pro­ will charge $7,949). amount of aid is going up," Young administers a similar program By DCKC Alexander grams beginning in the fall of 1995. Speaking at the March 16 meet­ said. "It will raise fees, but more geared towards Hispanics, the Senior Staff Writer New law and business students will ing, UCLA Chancellor Charles will be put into financ ial aid, so we Puente Project. In a move which will cost new pay an additional $2,000 per year, Young threw his support behind the will be providing a discount." - California Journal professional-school students as while new medical, dental and vet­ fee hikes. "This is necessary. It's According to UC Provost Walter much as $2,000 per year, the UC erinarian students will pay an addi­ absolutely essential to maintain the Massey, the Regent's Committee 'Killer Bee.' In Board of Regents approved fee in­ tional $1,000. Law and medical stu­ quality of professional schools in­ on Finance found that the 1994-95 Imperial County creases for the university's schools dents will have to pay an extra $376 volved," Young said. fee increases did not have a nega­ IMPERIAL COUNTY - of law, business, medicine, dentistry in special degree fees. In an attempt to quell fears that tive impact on the number of appli­ Africanized honey bees were and veterinarian medicine at its The fee increases will push an­ the increases will block students cants or students enrolling UC pro- discovered in an Imperial March 17 meeting at UCLA. nual fees for new students to $8,331 from attending professional schools, See FEES, Page 3 County school yard last week, the second such discovery within California's borders in the last six months. Though TIMBER! UCRegents the swarm was destroyed without incident, the bees are Discuss Future considered very dangerous. Two human fatalities in the United States have been Of Aflinnative attributed to the "killer bees" since their escape from a Action Brazilian laboratory in 1957. The swarms have been slowly MEmNG: Nearly 200 migrating north and are beginning to surface in Texas, demonstrators rally in favor Arizona and California. of university programs - UC News Wire By Doua Alexander New Theory Senior Staff Writer Oppo••• Big Facing an estimated 200 protesters, the aa. UC Board of Regents once again tackled the DAVIS - Mathematicians issue of affirmative action, hearing testi­ have expanded on Einstein's mony on the university's race-attentive poli­ Big Bang Theory by including cies at its March 16 UCLA meeting. a shock wave in the hypoth­ Rallying outside the meeting, the pro­ esis. UC Davis Professor of testors called for the continuation of the Mathematics Blake Temple university'S affirmative-action programs, contributed to the shock wave which are being threatened by legislation theory which throws doubt on aiming to abolish racial and gender prefer­ the theory that the entire ence. universe expanded from a "I think we need to expose the facts and single point. "If someone not the myths [about affirmative action]," doesn't like the idea that the said UCSD sophomore Gabriella Juarez at universe burst from a single the protest. "I was not admitted because of point, they could use this as a affirmative action. We're scapegoats for model for exploring another Heidi Muzhik/Guardian everything. " scenario," said Temple. A worker fells one of over 250 eucalyptus trees bellil cleared for the upcominc Ubrary Fearing disruptive demonstrations, - UC News Wire Walk. Preliminary construction beean lut week efter hurdlllll Mveral leeal roadblocks. UCLA officials assigned 75 police officers - the campus' entire force, plus 40 officers _I~I-"jl·l=- from six different campuses - to cover the meeting. The protest, however, went with­ Professor's Library Walk Injunction out incident. At the meeting, outgoing UC President Shot Down By California High Court Jack Peltason, who was named as a co- - defendant in a community college reverse­ CONTROVERSY: 250 trees fall "I'm obviously very disappointed that we didn't discrimination suit the same day, cxtolled get an injunction.'" the principle of diversity and reaffirmed his as construction begins on $2.5 University administrators maintain that they support for university affirmative-action an,d million pathway followed proper procedures throughout the plan­ minority-outreach programs. ning for Library Walk. "In my judgment... our equal-opportu­ By Franclaco DeV ..... "Thc court found that ... we had prepared the nity, affirmative-action and diversity pro­ Senior Staff Writer appropriate documentation as required by state grams have been indispensable, both to our Despite a flurry oflast-minute legal challenges, law," said Assistant Director of Campus Planning educational mission and to our ability to FLUNKY over 250 mature cucalyptus trees wc~e cut down Marilyn Cox. achieve a diversified community of learn­ last week to make way for the controversial "li­ The court challengc centered on the possible ing," Peltason said. OPINION: Test-taking brary Walk." Construction of the $2.5 million environmental impact of cuning down thc trees. However, noting the legal and legislative strategies should include pathway is scheduled to be completed in Septem­ The university did not complete a separate Envi­ challenges to affirmative action, he con­ sbortcuts, sucb as abbreviat- ber. ronmental Impact Report (ElR) for the construc­ ceded the university will be reviewing pro­ ing and begging. 4 Lawyers for UCSD Physics Professor Jorge tion project, instead relying on a Final Environ­ grams to determine whether some need modi­ Hirsch, who petitioned the court to block the mental Impact Statement for the "Long Ringe fication to "ensure fairness." IPORTS: Women's crew cutting of the trees, fought the construction all the Development Plan" completed in 1989. "If some do require changing, we are placed well in last week's way to the California Supreme Court in the final Hirsch's attorney, Tom Penfield, said that li­ prepared to change them," Pcltason said. San Diego Crew Oassic days before construction began. brary Walk wu not specifically covered in the old However, Peltason credited programs competition. 20 "I feel very strongly that the university did environmental review and that the possible envi­ such u the 30-year-old Equal Opportunity something wrong here ... ," Hirsch said lut week. See WALK, Peae 2 See DIVIRSITY, PaCe 2 2 NEWS, Monday, April 3, 1995 The UCSD Guardian Monday, April 3, 1995 The UCSD Guardian NEWS 3 issue an injunction following a for­ WALK: Hirsch mal court hearing on March 22. Lights FEES: plans to continue fight Hinch and his lawyer appealed ETCETERA. • • ContInued froIn .,... 1 r------, the decision, but the Court of Ap­ Sirens '-'-'-J' fessional schools. I UNCLAIMED I ContInued from .... 1. peal "turned us down in a couple of "We will be reviewing [the plan] ronmental damage had not been in­ hours," according to Penfield. CALVIN II HOBBES by Bill Watterson every year to see if the increases are vestigated properly. : SCHOLARSHIPSII : A final appeal was made: to the ,...." ...... 11 lot 608. Loss: $14,000. having an adverse effect on enroll­ In Hirsch's petition to the Cali­ California Supreme Court on March ment," Musey said. I $135 million in studenl aid "';'ent unclaimed lasl year. I 12:05 ••m.: A resident security "..,., ...... 24 I Why.' Students didn't know where to find I fornia Supreme Court, which was 22; even as crews began to remove officer reported the confiscation of However, U. Gov. Gray Davis, 2:11 p.m.: A student reported I thIS corporate and non-profit money. I filed the morning construction be­ trees on campus. The appeal was a marijuana bong from Harlan Hall. who sits on the Board of Regents, the theft of a backpack from I My computer data base can work for you. I gan, the justices were asked to "pro­ denied, although one justice sided 11.:42 ..m.: An 1Syear~ld male Porter's Pub. Loss: $242.95 opposed the fee hikes and expressed I Call for fill details. hibit [the university] from destroy­ with Hirsch. non-affiliate was detained at lot 2:30 p.m.: Two male non-affilI­ concern that they will bar students ing 268 mature eucalyptus trees, in Hirsch, who personally paid for 104 for public drunkenness. ates, aged 18 and 19, were or­ from the university'S professional I SCHOLA.SHI.. LOCAIOU I two groves, ... without first usess­ ....-" ...... 11 dered off campus for seven days programs. (.,9, •••·1.08 all the legal work, is now serving as 10:36 I.m.: Astudent reported after creating a disturbance at L ! ing the environmental consequences his own attorney. He said last week the theft of a white '90 Toyota Blake Hall . "At some point, these fees will ------___ -J of such an action. .. that, while Library Walk will be Corolla at lot 401. Loss: $1,000. 8:10 p.m.: A student reported start excluding some students," The courts ruled, however, that built, he plans to work to improve 4:15 p.m.: A student reported the theft of a backpack from the Davis said. "At some point, the pro­ the statute of limitations on chal­ the campus review process. the burglary of an apartment at Price Center lounge. Loss: $245. cess becomes self-defeating." lenges to the environmental review "In the end, [administrators] do Pepper Canyon. Loss: $171...... ,., ... 21 At UCSD, reaction to the fee for Library Walk had expired and what they want to do and there never MDndl,., ..... 20 2:13 p.m.: OffIcers detained a hikes was mixed. 10:40 I.m.: A student reported 28-year~ld male non-affiliate at that the less-intensive review pro­ is any real input ... ," he said. "There receiving an obscene phone call at Pepper Canyon for public drunken­ UCSD School of Medicine As­ cess used by the university was ad­ is not much real input in any of these the Warren apartments. ness. sociate Dean of Admissions Charles equate. formal committees that exist," he 5:22 p.m.: A student reported 5:49 p.m. : Officers confiscated Spooner said he does not anticipate "We actually do a little more added. the theft of a backpack from the a marijuana plant at the Warren thai the $1,376 fee hike will effect public review than is required," Cox However, Cox said Library Walk Price Center Bookstore. Loss: apartments. student admissions. said. was discussed in 185 different cam­ $250...... ,., M..ch 21 "We're simply overwhelmed After initially granting a tempo­ pus meetings and had been part of TIl...." M.rcII 21 2:50 p.m.: OffIcers arrested a with students," Spooner said, add­ 6:10 p.m. : A staff member re­ 34-year~ld male non-affiliate for rary restraini ng order prohibi ti ng the campus plans since 1966. Hirsch's ported the theft of a silver '89 two outstanding warrants for driv­ ing that UC medical schools have university from cutting the trees on claim that Library WaJkdid not have Honda Accord from lot 603. Loss: ing with a suspended license. shown record growth in the last sev­ March 16, San Diego Superior Court an adequate review "is just unsub­ $9,000. Transported to City Jail. eral years, despite previous fee in­ Judge Robert C. Baxley refused to stantiated," she added. W...... ,., M.-eII 22 T...... "M... creases. The VC's medical schools, 10:58 •.m.: An officer detained 1.:45 p.m.: A staff member re­ Spooner said, are still much cheaper three male students, aged 18 and ported theft of cash from Price than comparative public institutions. 19, for cultivating marijuana atthe Latino and five percent of Mrican­ Center Catering. Loss: $405. However, UCSD School of Warren apartments. Thursday, M.. 30 DIVERSrrv: American high school students are Medicine Student Financial Services currently eligible for UC admissions. Thu...... ,., March 23 2:09 p.m_: A student reported Legislation jeopardizes 8:25 8.m_ : A staff member re­ the theft of a white '95 Acura Integra Officer Carol Hartupee said such However, when enrolled in special ported the burglary of an office at from lot 502. Loss: $19,000. fee increases could have a negative affirmative action academic-preparation programs, 40 Urey Hall. Loss: $5,200. 12:10 p.m.: A staff member . effect on the university in the long ContInued froni PIC. 1. percent of these students meet the 9:10 • . m.: A 36-year~ld male reported a forgery at the University run. She said the increasingly high Program (EOP) for increasing the eligibility requirements, according non-affiliate was ordered off cam­ Bookstore. Loss: $5,282.49. debt bu rden necessary to attend diversity of students and faculty at to Galligani. pus for seven days for suspicious s.turUy, AprIl 1 activity at Tenaya Hall. medical school could keep students the UC. "Whatever progress we have Regent David Flinn praised such 10:37 p.m. : Officer arrested a 1:06 p.m.: Officers detained a 2().year~ld male non-affiliate for from entenng medicine. 4630 MISSI(JtoI lAY DltIVt • SA)( DIlGO, CAlIfO..... 1A 91109 made is due in large measure to outreach programs as "enormously BRIEFLY ••• 29-year-old graduate student at the possession of alcohol at the CM "At some point, it gets past a deliberate efforts, overthe past three successful," but warned that they Mesa apartments for being a dan­ Cafe . Cited and released. certain level and becomes unman­ decades, to see that the university is are threatened by impending anti­ ger to himself. Selected entries from the UCSD ageable," she said. 275-1132 . open to Californians from every affirmative-action legislation. 6:00 p.m.: A student reported police arrest record, March 18 to - nte DIllIy CllllfomIan 0/ All REPAIRS ~. 1ItcUIy __ """ Y811d UCSO 10. Forum to Advocate Marijuana's Merits April 1. 'ElCC8PImocor""" tr...... , ....m.uI. $1 ,000 limit. background," he said. "I believe this university is going the theft of a '921suzu Rodeo from contributed to till. report. 10 /0 OFF With thiS coupon Not voIid...., __. Exp. II/3Or'95. Following Peltason's address, to find that it needs to speak up The 1995 Medical Marijuana Forum will be held at five education leaders seek to make students and the several officials spoke on the about the preservation of our ability UCSD Tues. April 4, featuri~ several speakers who community more aware of the ramifications of such a university 's affirmative-action and to use these programs," Flinn added. will address the medical merits of matluana use in lar&e cut In financial aid. outreach programs. Legislation such as the Califor­ treatments for cancer, AIDS and other illnesses. The bulk of the proposed cutbacks arise from the At the regents' meeting in Feb­ nia Civil Rights Initiative, which Sponsored by the National Organization for the Reform elimination of federally subsidized loans. The cove~ ruary, Regent Ward Connerly, who backers are hoping to put on the of Marijuana Laws (NORML), Tuesday's free discus­ ment pays the interest on subsidized loans while the in has come out against affirmative 1996 ballot, would mandate the uni­ sion will be held Solis Hall Room 107 from 6:00 p.m. student attends school. Upon eraduation, the lender to 10:00 p.m. great scores... versity to not only eliminate affir­ would only pay back the original principle borrowed: action, asked university officials to NORML seeks to allow the legal use of marijuana The United States Student Association estimates prepare a report on minority admis­ mative action, but a number minor­ for medical purposes. The forum will discuss the laws that the elimination of Subsidized Stafford Loans sions policies to the board. Connerly ity-specific education and outreach which prevent obtaining marijuana to fight Illnesses. could Increase college costs by as much as 25 percent did not attend the March 16 meet­ programs. Six speakers, Including california NORML Chair for undellr8duates and by as much as 50 percent for ing, however. "I believe there is a need for Dennis Peron, and ·Brownle Mary· Rathbun will be &racIuate students. In his presentation to the regents, change and tbechange needs to came featured. Rathbun, a 71')'ear~ld grandmother, be­ came famous after her arrest for bak_ cannabis UC Assistant Vice President Den­ from the K-12 system. There has to brownies for AIDS patients. HIChSchool Students C.. nis Galligani said that low eligibil­ be a cooperative effort," said Re­ °It relieves the wasting syndrome and makes them Sample UCSD Coil ... life ity rates among minorities is a "fun­ gent Tirso del Junco said. want to eat,· said Rathbun. ·It eIYes them some fonn damental problem" and defended However, Regent Roy Brophy said of dignity.· High school students will be able to sample college Kaplan teaches university academic-developme1l't the university should not be involved The forum includes a panel discussion at which life at UCSD this summer through the Summer Schol­ programs, saying they have been directly in secondary-school educa­ time the audience may pose questions to the various ars Proeram, available to high school sophomores, to the test Weill successful in helping minority high tion. "We have no reason to take our speakers. Juniors, and seniors. The Scholars Program is being teach you proven school students get into college. bodies and faculty to K-l2 schools, offered twice this summer, with each session lasting Education Heavyweights to four weeks. skills and While the Master Plan mandates but we need to train our teachers to Students will live on campus, attend classes In that the UC accept the top 12.5 per­ train our students," he said. Addr_ Financial Aid Cuts marine biology and environmental science and go on test-taking cent of California's high school - ",. ".", CaIItotDIM various field trips. techniques that graduates, only four percent of contributed to ..... report. The leaders of San Diego universities and commu­ Marine biology studies will focus on the natural nity colleees will hold a press conference Tues. April 4 hlstOlY of local marine plants and animals. FIeld trips help you get a at 2:30 p.m., at the University of San Diego's Hahn wlJllnclude a day-long trip In a Scripps research vessel higher score. University Center, to discuss the proposed $20 billion and a behlnd-the-scenes tour of Sea World. cut In financial aid over the next five years. The environmental sciences program will visit the Class Updates Class Updates ERRATUM UCSD Chancellor Richard Atkinson will speak at carlsbad Aquafarms, the Wild Animal Park, and the the conference along with San Diego State University San Diego wastewater treatment plant. The March 6 article, "Campus Life Bill Proposes Triton Football President Thomas Day, San Diego Community College The summer sessions will be held from June 26 to District Chancellor Augustine Gallego, University of July 21, and July 24 to Aug. 18. Cost of the pro&ram Team," incorrectly stated that $10ofthe proposed $29.50 Campus Life Fee San Diego PreSident Author Hughes, and San Marcos is $2,200, which includes room and board, tuition and would go toward intramural sports. The bill would fund intercollegiate State University President Bill Stacy. activity expenses. For application information, contact great skills ... athletics. The GUDrdian regrets the error. Through this first-ever joint press conference the the Summer Scholars Program at (619) 534<>804.

ANNA VAiSMAN, Opinion fdltor DUll.... : Matthew Blklwln. Brenna latham, Ale. Ritner PItOTOOMJltlERS: Timothy Cnen. Catne~ne Hirota, Heidi Muzlllk, Marte BRENT JOHNSON, Associate Opinion Editor Pltterwon • FRANCISCO DEVRIES, Features Editor TYPIST: Cristina Gurtman DAN KRAFT, Sports Editor ADYEIm ..... AMISTAIIT: Tara Eoff (800) Up· TEST TEDD LADD, Associate Sports Editor CllteuUTION ASIIITAIIT: P_ Maneuy, Ethan ManlMz, David ROCI&ers JEFF NIESEL, Hiatus Editor eol DeANDR£A, Busl".ss Man"., YAIIOV ZOLOTOREV, Photo Editor MICHAn FOULKS, Advettisinl Manllfer CHUCK NGUYEN, Associate Photo Editor MIKE MARTINEZ, Advettisint Des,,"er RlTHYA TANI, C/assifiec Representlltlwl get a er score DOMtNIC L0881A, Graphics Editor JEFF LARSEN, Design Editor WARREN NO, Production Manager Edltorl.l: 534-6580. News/ Features: 534-5226. OpjnlOn/SpoIta: 534-6582, Hiatus: 534-6583 Business OIYice : 534-3466. F•• : 534-7691 fditor In Clllef ....ott ITAPF WRlTDI: Karen Chene, IVan DeNentn.l, Erik Jonnson DOUG ALEXANDER, STAFf WIIITIIIS: Amlt Aa.m.I • • Nina IIouC/Iton. jessica Fonc. Derek van E-mail: lu.rdl'~ber . ucsd . edu SIMONE MIUER, Copy Editor Holten. Jenny Lind. Rob L8'IInson. TellY Lew. Ellzabetn Mackenzie. Jeremey .lONNA PALMER, Co-News Edilor Mal.med. CtrICIlc. McFlI1and. Heather MeRe • • jennifer NicOli. Mlterl PII. Sean UCSD Gu.rdlan, 9600 Gilman Drive 0316, KA LAN MARIANNE VIGIL, Co-News Editor R.nlml. DIn sweeney. ~ren W.lsh La Jolla, CA 92093-0316 IDITOIIIAL AlllST...,..: 'ellY Lew Ap'riI4, 5,.6 BEN UtN, Associate News Editor IUUITIIATOIIS: Michl Croft. NatIIIn Enin. Mike Ibay, Paull LH, Hlch Yumul Actual IOcetlon : s-~ , ucso SIudont Can.., BuIIdlnC 'A'. Rm. 217 lOam - 2pm UCSD Bookstore Monday, April 3, 1995 The UCSD Guanlian QPlNlON S , , ~ The UCSD Guardian 4 OPINION ADMINISTRATION IS AVOIDING STUDENT INPUT ON 'WALK' EdItor: Atkinson became agitated when Instead, the administration claimed enough to do so.) I feel it is el(tremely important to we claimed that student input was to act in our best interests while • Ask California taxpayers, under EDITORIALS clarify tbe focus of the activism minimal and inadequate. He repeat­ clearly doing the exact opposite. the auspices of funding education,to Editorial BoIIIf1 against tbe implementation of the edly called us liars and cut us off. This paternalism is unacceptable work diligently and send their dol­ DOUG ALEXANDER. editor In Chief Library Walk. On March 13 and 14, Yet, the administration's own docu­ and shows a fundamental lack of lars to the federal and state officials SIMONE MillER. ~ editor PINION ANNA VAISMAN. OpiniOn editCIt' a group of concerned students, in­ ments show that only 25 students respect for the student body. who dole it out. Have them put $2.5 cluding myself, discussed the project have been involved since 1988 in Carl Lenox million into a discretionary fund. IIIe UCSD ~ IS ...... - _ • _ • IN UnMttIlIJ 01 C.lllomi•• sen DiItO· COntenIO witb Chancellor Ricbard Atkinson, the "public planning process," and Nobody said the chancellor 01995. viewo.~ __lIN .....,nty_~ IN edllDrioi _. end IN nol No DIIcretIon In Use of _oari!y _ 01Il10 uc _111 01 R....,II. IN ASUCSO. I'l0lil10 entire Go.- oWl. Assistltll" Vice Chancellor Boone 13 of those were involved only in wasn't a bright man, only that he Hellmann and a number of other ad­ "discussions" and "briefings" about DI....uon., Funds shows an incredible lack of judg­ Give Patients Medicinal liE-lUI WALK ministrators. Hellmann and Atkinson the Master Plan as a whole. Even Readers 'Forum ment, or "discretion" rather, in made it clear that the signatures of when input was solicited, students TIre Guardlen wekomeIlelters end commen­ Editor: spending other people's money - Marijuana - Legally over 1500 students, collected in only did not have proportional represen­ IlIIIes from lIs ,~Itders. AJIIeII~rs musl be 110 I read that Chancellor Richard money which should be used for edu· two-and-a-balf days, would have no tation on committees. Many of these /onIle' I1IIn ItIrH ".•• 1)JIed. doub/HpaCed Atkinson is using $2.5 million from cation or student development. I Ie 0 IIfId siln~d. L~lIers should also conl.ln II Bob Randell, 48, is one of eight people in the United States impact on the start date of the students graduated years ago, when phone 1ICItIIbe,. .... '_ve tile "",1 10 edII • his discretionary budget on a walk­ Wendy McNeUl who can legally smoke pot. Diagnosed with glaucoma in tbe I14v Zf(;3ir:Jh project. Even though both Hellmann the university was considerably frx /enilIII end clarItY. Lellers may be drOPI»d way leading from UCSD's Central ~ off., the Guardian office 011 tile s«ond fIoof LGBA M...... Etcap,. 1970s, doctors told him that the disease was progressing so and Atkinson told us that they had more affordable. Finally, all the in­ of the old SlUdenl Cenle, ("",llIIJol'II the (len. Library to a classroom building rapidly tbat he would soon go blind. Then, by cbance, he found Th,is la~d is our land, if isn't your land. the power to delay tbe projcct until volved students were appointed by fNIII Slore CSan Francisco AIDS researcher Donald Abrams, for el(ample, has -students should use shortcuts, such as abbreviating and begging spent three years trying to gain federal approval to conduct a Now that finals have English vocabulary is, frankly, just too much to handle. clinical study to determine whether smoking pot helps patients passed and tests are the last Good spelling only matters because annoying people like Take the Princeton Review's overcome the "wasting syndrome" associated with AIDS. thing on anyone's mind, I de­ English professors and William Safire say it matters. Marijuana is widely reported to alleviate nausea from cided it would be a logical Why should we listen to them? No one will ever be able " "* hllrUCSO II chemotherapy, ease muscle spasms in paralyzed people, reverse time to discuss test-taking to get a handle on "affect" vs. "effect," and as for that MCATquiz: Kat .1M_RaId k -0 the AIDS wasting syndrome and help diminish vision loss from skills. I spent pesky "it's/its" dilemma - who do you ~_"'Do. _1If. glaucoma. A Harvard University study found that more than 40 think we are - rocket scientists? Dic­ the first "-. True or False: The MeAT is a science test. .'8'&1 ACUAA mazda HyundaI percent of cancer specialists have advised chemotherapy patients weekend of ft.. tionaries are always too far away, and "C" G_ MIT..... ISUZU Acura Daillalu to smoke pot. spring break that spell-check function on computers Answer: False. The MeAT is a reasoning test, asking you Excellent references from our With the advent of AIDS, the need for medicinal marijuana has in my apart­ is way too much of a pain. become more urgent, fostering growing dissent to federal medical JENNY ment grading 4. USE TERRIBLE GRAMMAR. to apply basic science concepts to a wide range of passages. marijuana laws. In its refusal to enforce these laws, San Francisco final exams Good writing, like good spelling, is Minor Tune Up Special Our ..... up 1ItdcIdM.#of _ 111M ..... It Indu.. : has become the hotbed of the medicinal-hemp movement. and papers overrated. We have far too many impor­ ...... Linn True or False: The more complex science I know, the 1. Spuk pIug8 5. Chec:k Mel replenilh .. tluld '. Check dulCh tant things to worry about without add­ "I have no problem whatsoever with the use of marijuana for for my reader 2. 0iUibu1lW poIn. and oil ..,. 8. Check ligh. medical purposes," said Mayor and former Police Chief Frank job. So, I feel ing trivialities like verb tense to our list bigher my score will be. 3. C4IlIdII_ e. AdjuII dwell af1CIIe 10. Check u~!Dr dwMge Jaundiced! I should of concerns. To get in the spirit of this 4. AGjUlt liming 7. Check brIkea 11 . Check c:ooing .YIIIfI\ Mel t.. Jordan. "I am sensitive and compassionate to people who have Answer: False. A high score rests on your ability to see 12.RoedIel! revolution, I threw lots of errors into this legitimate needs. We should bend the law and do what's right." share what I After reading a column, but those old fusspot GUQrd­ through cumbersome passages and answer questions using Given the city's principled stance. the Cannabis Buyers' have learned from this experience. The ian editors kept removing them. Some 3S·polnt Major Service Special Club, a nonprofit organization which has been distributing most important thing 1 have learned is "C-" exam, science knowledge, logic, and the ability to read critically. $69* people really have skewed values. £In lor 1wI1nJ«:1ed. Our"../oI' run.-up I~: marijuana since 1991, has given patients with legitimate needs an that it's much easier to grade when grade,. a,e you're eating Ben and Jerry's Super 5. ABBREVIATE EVERYTHING. 1. c:ompre.ion lei! 1 1. AdjUII *"ino 20. Lube IIonI end .....1. alternative to buying on the street. As Buyers' Club Founder and 2. VrIve IIdjuAnlnl 12. Adjust dwell angle 21 . Check I replenilh .. 21. Check Mel IKhIrgI baaIrieI Dark Chocolate ice cream. Aside from touched by Graders know how valuable your time 21. Ro •• lit. (il needIdI long-time gay activist Dennis Peron has said, "These people are True or False: The MeAT is going to ruin my summer. Atpl_: 13. AdjUII c:eJbur"" ftuid I Dillewll this, here are some tips to satisfy dis­ is while you're writing a bluebook 3. VrIve _gIIkII 14. A4\IItIir' W raio 22. Checkeiecticei 3O.Check"'~ seelnga 31 . Lube daor tmo- struggling to live, and marijuana is helping them live." cerning readers and TAs such as myself. exam. We understand that to cram as Answer: False. With effective and thorough review, you (K needed) mix",. .""'. Peron is currently pushing to get an initiative which would 4. Sperk plugs, 15. AdjUIIllllring box 23. Check far IDoee I 32. Check .. hoicIM 1. USE TERRIBLE HANDWRIT­ heartfe" plea many buzzwords as possible into your 5. 0iUibu1lW poIn.. 1 e. AdjUII dUlCh Ioet Il0l. 33. Chec:kc:oalir4llWll"" 1'- can spend your time maximizing your score, and enjoying 34. Check elhauallYlllfll legalize medical marijuana use on the 1996 California ballot. ING. No one really cares wbat you scribbled at the prose, you must write speedily. Abbre­ e. CoIMill-. 17. AdjUittniIM ~ . Chec:k ...... Those with terminal and debilitating diseases deserve any your sununer. 7. NIl.,. 1 •. Adj,*emetgenCY 25. Chec:k dulCh 35.RoedIMt write anyway. And if it's actually leg­ end. Something viating everything really helps, espe­ I . Oil hr,.... 28. Check ligh. form of medicine which alleviates the symptoms of their cially when you use little symbols. 8. a.. ... and 18. Chec:k I edJUIt 27. Check u~ _.. ...----"­ ible, we'll be able to read it and will 10. Engine 01 upaeed belli !Dr deIMOe .....-... --_. Oke, "I Just condition. If marijuana works, then there is no legitimate reason probably shoot holes through your ar­ There's nothing like the persuasive, ...... -- to continue tbis country's ridiculous ban on pot. gument, lowering your grade as a re­ didn't have flowing prose of a sentence such as, The Princeton Review offers the nation's best MCAT Complete Brake Job sult. Graders like an exam that is a enough time to "The Aing status of U.S. wmn. @ the preparation. Call today for more infonnation about our $164* chicken-scratched, ink-blotted mess, wkplce, ocly Aed mUml. relations in Clutch Job Special ...... ~ '.T[. I 1 ...... _ because then, as we're grading them in tlnlsh thl.," or "I the late 20th C, cuz N#& TIll Awas most August programs! """'.-. "'/1111~ 2. "-..... II ...... ' . rn.li1l*1eI _ 1*11 01 ...... "'.. .,- the library, and our friends walk up and would have certainly tOOt«."Graders enjoy read­ 3.C__ •. IIew ...... oI ... rw!nlle" ' . A4Me1 ..... CI *-1 .. Thumbs Up to ing hieroglyphics such as this because *Early enrollment option available. Get ahead with a diag­ 4. 7. "-I .... 2. Otaln old !nile lluld _ .... ask what we're doing. we can poinl'and workedon my n-.t..... S. lftII*l ~ hydrallic 7...... __ C. say, "look at this" as their ~yes widen it's fun to stare at a sentence Jor 15 nostic MCAT, Science Review. and the Caduceus Software -....-.... --_ ...... - ..... Chancellor Richard paper more, but _-- '.AeIII..,... tIuiI -' ...... in horror at our arduous task. minutes, trying to figure out what the Atkinson ••• 2. IGNORE THE QUESTION. If my .oldftlh wa. author could possibly mean. Sure, it Project. -- you're taking a history class and the undergoln. makes exams more difficult to grade, *Courses for the August exam begin on May 20 and June 17. "rnostcer • Timing Belt Special ... who will participate in "An Alliance to Save Student Aid," a exam question asks you to el(plain keeping us up later into the wee hours joint press conference at the which will serve to protest Congress' Brunhilde Ostenwest's position on kenotherapy of dawn - but I'm happy to sacrifice *Sign up today to take a free full length MCAT. Brand new PlrtI. Ask about our iplCllls on engine .. All our work his a 2-YNr proposal to cut $20 billion worth of federal student fina~cial aid German reunification, just write a his­ [sic) and It was a few hours of sleep to the joy of read­ or 2O,GOO-mI1l1lm1ted warranty. All prlctslndud. pans and labor. over the next five years. tory of the world and mention Ger­ ing such graceful prose. really .""'1." S008 Miramar Rd. Atkinson, as well as chancellors and representatives of other many a few times. There's no need to 6. MAKE UP STUFF. Regurgitating overseas & San Diego colleges, will meet and discuss the possible results of actually address the specific question, especially since facts is no indicator of true wisdom. Students are com- ~~CETON (800) 2-REVIEW IUIDmDtIvI Rlplil. these cuts with students and the community. it will only result in the embarrassing revelation that pletely justified in asserting that simply reciting names ~"REVlEW 695·1 990 Students and educators must ensure that the student and the you never read Ostenwest's article. Your grader would and dates proves nothing about what they've learned. E-mail: [email protected] • • d • • • •• ...... ElpM4I' ... CalIor " I a ••• 'II' Unless, of course, you write things such as, "after the university system does not become a victim of the GOP measures ratber not sec you humiliate yourself. . TUWIII'I .lIld "fiLii Cd[ dVdlldhlf' r.1ond.1Y FriddY 730 dm 6 pm Open Saturday. whicb seek to help the taxpayer by burting education. 3. SPELL EVERYTHING INCORRECTLY. The See FINALS, Pale 6 Monday, April 3, l~ TlIe UCSD Guardia. CALENDAR 7 6 OPINION The UCSD Guardian Monday, April 3, 199~

they know. If your paper is too short, FINALS: go ahead and try something really continued from ..... 4 surreptitious like using a 2O-point advent of TV in 1835," or "when font and two-inch margins. While World War I broke out in 1776," reading the paper, we will undoubt­ ad-ver-tls-lnK n 1: the which proves you've learned noth­ edly be so awestruck by your action of calling something ing. But TAs won't care because knowledge that we won't notice it. they're so busy savoring your prose. 8. WRITE REALLY PA1lIETIC, to the attention of the public, Making up words serves I strate­ IMPLORING COMMENTS AT esp. in the UCSD Guardian gic purpose. Upon reading creations 1lIE END OF YOUR PAPER. Af­ newspaper, 534-3466 like "Iiteronnerous," ter reading a "C-" exam, graders are "indoctrintoniously," and touched by seeing a heartfelt plea "spurbrionic," TAs will simply give scribbled at the end. Something like, ACADEMIC SERVICES Angers up. Because TAs can't officially say "I just didn't have enough time to Ongoing these creations are not real.words in­ finisb tbis," or "I would have worked o OASIS Language Program cluded in Webster's (unless they ac­ on my paper more, but my goldfish provides free tutoring assistance to students whose native lan­ tually get up to hunt for a dictionary), was undergoing kenotherapy [sic] guage is not English and to those they'll give you the benefit of the and it was really stressful." dOing work in Spanish, French doubt, and you might have diverted Brown-nosing warms our bearts, and Russian. A diagnostic test them from your weak argument. too. "Professor Jurisprudence, I re­ on written English is available on 7. ASSUME THAT GRADERS ally enjoyed your.class and I learned request. Monday-Thursdays KNOW NONE OF YOUR alot [sic) (see *3), and I just can't 9:00-4:30pm and Fridays Now that you're going to CLEVER PLOYS. Disregard the wait to take your class next quarter." 9:00am-3:00pm. Call 534-2284 fact that TAs -let alone professors Any TA who reads this will suddenly for more infonnation or drop by - have been in school for the last smile warmly, say "Awwww" and our office at Student Center gracklate school, how million years, and that school, ex­ give you an A- instead of a C+. Af­ Building A, Room 1214. ams and studying are probably all ter all, you deserve it. • Profe.. lonal/Graduate School Advl.lng Daily appoint­ do you plan to pay for it? ments available for issues re­ lated to admission to profes­ Student Health Center. Drop by and say Hil o 1: 3Opm- Marketable Re.ume day Supper at 6 p.m., $2, All Wel­ sional or graduate school. Call o FREE SEXual Health Inform. Tuesday, April 4 - Learn how to make a positive come! 534-4939. Career Services. tlon at Student Health. Learn o11 :30-1 :30p.m. - Vegetarian first impression with your re­ • 9-4:00p.m. - Programs about birth control and STDs Lunch Feast sponsored by the sume. SERVICESI'NORKSHOPS Things You Abroad Office - Dally appoint­ from Student Health Advocates Vedic Cultural Society, (the Hare Wednesday. April 5 MANY Ongoing ments are available with Pro­ on the 2nd floor. Call 534-2419 Krishnas). Enjoy an all you can ·12pm- Interview for Health o Womens Peer Coun.elors grams Abroad Advisors to help for information. eat gourmet vegetarian feast as Professional School - What to Ask answer any questions about (trained by Psych, Services) us. oHave you Indulged In one too except and how to prepare. well as videos showing the Vedic Need a confidential friendly ear Can Do with a Law study or work abroad. Call today many Junk food binges? Keep culture and philosophy of India. o 2pm- Interviewing Skills to listen? Walk-in hours or cal - 534-1123. tabs on your cholesterol level by $2 suggested donation. Gallery Workshop - Learn techniques o 10:00am to 4:00p.m. - Let OA­ for appointment. Womenl' Re­ coming to Student Health. Call B Room In the Price Center. required to be successful In the source Center. ,~ :=v::e':;.~:d=tren1mYec·' ':edl SIS Study Management Center 534-2419 for schedule. (weekly) interview process. help you this quarter with time De gr ee • nanonai speakers on tbe SLIO}ect. oFREE Condomsl Do you know Wednesday. April 5 Thursday. April 6 Far ~ Students management, notetaking and about HIV? If you have a group o 4pm- Art you ready to par­ o 10:30am-2:00pm- Summer EVENT5'R~~ EA~;" editing, textbook analysis, (pursuing all types of advanced A FREE Seminar Learn: of 10 or more you can request ticipate In the health fleld?1 and Beyond Job FIIIr: Meet in­ memory, flexible/speed reading, • .4prll 6; 1995 0 7 to 9 pm o How a law degree and your an HIV Peer Educator Program. Then come join DASH on Wed. formally with company rapt! 8) I­ 12pm-'~'*4 rll 3-'1 '- degrees such as law, engineering, HandJery Hotel previous experience C:1n combine vocabulary development, and Well tailor a program to meet @ 4pm or Thurs. @ 3pm in the tatives that are offering full-time UCSO's 1995 Spring Under­ graduate Festival 01 the Arts nursing, etc.) The Citi­ 950 Hotel Circle Nortb to target an advant:lgeous career GRE Preparation Workshops. your groups needs. Davis/Riverside rm ., 2nd floor career positions, part-time and Stop by York Hall 4010 or call kiQls, IlJIb UIa Hutton's instal- Graduate Loan Program SanDtego direction. o Flu Shots available at Stu­ Price Ctr. and find out about all summer jobs, internships and 534-7344 to set up a personal d.nt Health Services. Protect the fun, new & exciting activities co-ops in a variety Gf fields. Bring 1tftIbft,' ; . ~llaving trouble with offers Federal Stafford Loans Call for a reserv:lUon today­ • How to use :1 law degree :IS :1 n appointment. Also, stay on the yourself for this upcoming win­ DASH has planned for this quar­ Your Resumes! @ Sun God Marla.· The show will run 4/3-4/ and our exclusive Grad­ -ITS FREE! :lSSet in the corporate world. lookout for those valuable OA­ ter! Only $5!! M/TU/Th 8-11 a.m., ter. area. 7 at the Mandeville Annex Gal­ lery. A reception artist will • Why the JD Claw degree) is the SIS Study Skills Workshops. Wed 9-11 a.m., Fri 8-11 a.m. & o 7 p.m. Last Indicator (Alter­ Friday, April 7 for the Assist Loan. 1-800-WSU-4-L4W be 4/6 from 5:3O'to 7:30pm. ~IBA of the 90's and beyond. . 1-3 p.m. n'tlve Media Publication) • 11 am- Writing YOUr Personal • April 4-AprII c.r.mlc art­ And, all of the Citibank Grad­ LECTURESISEMINARS o Want to learn more about Meeting. Looking for writers, Statement- What should you tell a. o in Ist. San Diego area San Diego Campus What job and C'Jreer opuons. Ongoing sexual health issues? Attend a photographers, layout artists, the Medical or Dental School from the uate Loan Programs offer: md OUt of law, :lte available ror will be showing their work. In (619) 297-9700 x 1200 o March 10-12th - Fri(6pm-9pm), Womens Sexual Health Infor­ whatever you wish to contribute. Admissions Committee - How you study or where you cur­ those with a law degree. Be a part of Alternative Media. to write and what to include In a show tilled ·Ceramics: A Con­ • easy repayment, Fullerton Campus Sat(8am-10pm), Sun(8am- mation S••• lon: its FREE . rently bank, you can count 2pm)- ASUCSD and UC Student Come to the second floor of Stu­ (weekly) this very important document. sortium II," at the UCSD Crafts This will be the only Center/ Grove Gallery, University (714) 138-1000 x 2200 Association present: Making the dent Health Services Mondays Thursday. April 6 on Citibank. the nation's • low interest rates, of California, San Diego. seminar in this area. Personal, Polltlcel. Sixth An­ 2:00, Tuesdays and Thursdays o 3pm- Are you ready to par­ lruine Branch Campus ATHLETIC EVENTS o April 3-Aprll 7- Take advan­ number one originator of • no application fees, nual Student of Color Confer­ 10:00 and 1: 00, Wednesdays ticipate In the health fleld?1 (714) 753-9100 x 3200 PROSPEC17VH.u IV mJIJENTS ONlY Wednesday. April 5 tage of the discounted tickets student loans, to help finance ence @ UCSD Price Center. For 11 :00 and 1:00. Then come join DASH on Thurs. • an easy application process, o 3:30p.m.- Women's Wat.r available for the Old Globe Presenlld as a pubiic .>en.'ICe by Information and cost: Alicia • Looking to improve your @ 3pm in the DavlS/Rlverside your education. Polo vs. San Diego St. @ Theatre's April 23rd, 7:00pm per­ T-.m SIa# University Co~ of U= Estrada (619) 534-6708. health? Come to the second floor nn., 2nd floor Price Ctr. and find • fast approvals, canyonview Pool formance of "Time of My ute", Tuesday. April 4 of Student Health Services! out about all the fun , new & ex­ Far .....cal "Id.nts Thursday. April 6 the newest comedy by Alan • and one toU-free number Our Fall Semester • 6:00pm - 10:00pm- "Medical FREE Nutritional Health AI­ citing activities DASH has oAll Day.- UC San Diego Triton (pursuing allopathic and ...sments. Cholesterol screen­ planned for this quarter. Ayckboum. Proceeds will benefit to call for answers to all Begins August 23,1995 Marijuana Forum '95" - Solis Softball Clas.lc @ Triton Base­ the Staff Association Scholarship osteopathic medicine) The Hall Rm. 107 - attendance is ings only $5. ball Stadium your questions. oA special invitation to students fund. During the Member.hlp CitiMedical Loan Program free. Guest speakers include CAREER SERVICES Friday. April 7 Drive WHk 4/3-4/7, come by "Brownie Mary" Rathbun and interested in developing UCSD's For more information Ongoing 02:30p.m. - Men's Tennis vs. the Staff As.oclatlon table, offers Federal Stafford Dennis Peron of the San Fran­ own fltne.. and health mag. ·If you're graduating this quar­ We.tmont College @ Join the UCSD Staff Associ. Loans and our exclusive and an application for a cisco Cannabis Buyers ClUb. zlne. Enthusiastic staff needed ter and Job-...klng we'll match Northview Tennis Courts now! Questions/Ideas please tlon and get your discounted MedicalAssist Loan. Citibank Graduate Loan, Wednesday. April 5 you with a professional in your • All Day - San Diego Triton ticket. (regular price $28.50). o 3:30pm- "Indonesia In the call Kristina at 678-0124. field of interest who will get you Softball Clas.lc @ Triton Soft­ C11111.-o .IM2IDO, WOMEN IN (weekly) Wednesday. April 5 Far ..a "Id.na. 21st Century", by ConSUl-Gen­ started networking In the local ball Field 07 p.m. Adventures 'ln WIn­ and ask for Operator 256. o10-11a.m., 1-2p.m. (Mon), 10- The CitiMBA Loan eral of Indonesia; SDSU Interna­ job mai'ket. Sign up with the ref­ o7pm- Men's Volleyball v. UC dow-Ucklng, Undennlning the BIOSCIENCE CONFERENCE tional Student Center, 55th St. 11a.m. (Wed), 11-12p.m. (Fri)­ erence room desk. Irvine @ RIMAC Program offers Federal Chole.trol ScrHnlng Test at rituals. Performance and boo!S.. Envisioning the Future Free & public. 3:30pm. 08:00-4:00 - SIGI + - Computer­ Saturday. April 8 presentation by UCSD's Experi­ Student Health Services for Stafford Loans and our 6 May 1995 Thursday. April 6 $5. blHd program of career Infor­ oAll Day - UC San Diego Triton mental Writing Class. Free ad­ o 3pm- Partha Mukhe~i, "Cia.. Nutrition Analysis and Counsel­ Softball Cla ..lc @ Triton Soft­ exclusive MBAAssist Loan. CI71BAN(eJ UCSDCampus mation deSigned to help you mission to all. The performance and Ethnic Mov.ments: De­ ing at Student Health Services, clarify your skills values and in­ ball Field will be held in the Visual Arts mocracy and Nation-Building FREEl. terests. For more information, o 10:00a.m. - Women's Tennis Sponsored by the Association of Women in Science and UCSD Perfo'rmance Space 1306. In India", @ HSS (7077) o FHllng Str... ? Not eating come to Career Services Cen­ vs. Pomon.Pltzer Colleg. @ (weekly) CONNECT, this one day conference will focus OIl career options for o 7pm- Public forum: "Living well? Student Health Advocates ter. Admission $10.00. Northview Tennis's Courts. Thursday. April women interested in biotechnology and related fields. Women 6 Together In a Multicultural offer outreaches on Nutrition? o 1:30-4 :oop.m. - DROP-IN AD­ °11a.m. - UC San Diego Invlt. o 10am- 3prn- Representatives scientists and professionals in all areas of bioscience will share their Stress management right to your tlonal Track" Reid Meet @ UC Y•• ! I want more information Name of St udent ______Society: Israel In Transition." VISING • For help with career from USE Credit Union will be experiences and insights in this exciting field. Special emphasis will Red Uon Hotel, 7pm. RSVP to doorstep. Please call 534-2419 San Diego Track & Field Stadium and an application for the following Addrcss ______Apl. .___ _ goals, job hunting, resume avaliable in front of the Price I be placed OIl ~ paths and career transitions including: academia Ms. Eunice Farris, 594-6224, for more info. preparation and related issues. o1 pm- Men's Tennis vs. South­ Center bookstore to answer Citibank Graduate Loans: City, ______to industry; other industries into biotechnology; and laboratory bench SDSU. No apPOintment needed, just ern Cal College @ Northview questions and distribute general All F..,.I StaffOl'd ~ I o St ate______,Z ip ____ scientific research to non-research positions. Friday, April 7 CLUBS AND MEETINGS walk in. Tennis Courts information regarding credit CIt.... Io1edIcIIIAuI.t ~ o Telephone' ______o 3pm- Nicola Beisel, "Political Ongoing Professional/Graduate Sunday, April 9 union membership. I Ifor swacllrs of al/oparl,ic mId 010 a.m. The Archery Club at osr,oparh ic Illedicille) tudent'sSocial Secu rity " ______For more information please call Culture In the Social Construc­ , The Che Cafe Collective is School Advising - Daily ap­ UCSD meets behind Thornton o cn.... "" ...U.III.t Loan Teresa Young. (619) 687-5580 tion of Women: Ethnlclty, looking for members. Do you like pointment available for issues OTHER I Ifor bllsilless Hlllicllrs) Hospital. Call Tania at 558-0823 Studenl i5 curre:n1ly in 0 College o Gradu.te School Motherhood, and Nineteenth to cook? Do you want to learn related to professional/graduate oThe Weekly Calendar features L Cnlbank GraclA.lllt Loan orwrile: AWlS, POB 178096, SAN DIEGO, CA 92177 for questions. (weekly) Ycar ofG"duJtion ___ Field ofStudy ______Century anti-Abortion Rheto­ how? Drop by the CM Cafe dur­ school admission. Call 534- I graduate,rudelllS) attn. Csilla Fenczik illustrations and photos from the Ifor ric" @ HSS (7077) ing business hours: M-F 11 a.m. 4939. . Name of ollege/Graduate School ______UCSD population . If you are a I - 2 p.m., W 4 p.m.-6 p.m. o Mentor - If you're graduating RELIGIOUS SERVICES photo aficionado or a drawing Mail riris (OIlPOII ro: Arc you ~ previou~ student loan borrower? 0 Ye 0 No oThe Women. Resource Cen­ this quarter and job-seeking we'll Ongoing CltllNlnk Student Loens HEALTH AND FITNESS freak who captures the essence match you with a professional in I P_O. Box 22SM8 Or for ..at. ...-..ice, ~%( Ongoing ter We encourage new (and old) o Catholic Community: At the of the times, bring your work to Rochest.r, NY 14812-2tN8 cal 1-800 18M200, o Come and check out your students to come In and become your field of Interest who will get University Lutheran Church, the Guardian office, upstairs in I COI\NECTo familiar with our many services you started networking in the 10- masses on SUnday at 8: 15 a.m., Student Center A. You will be ...... for IJWIS ~Ical fitnessl Sign up for cmBAN(CJ 'IItoUC8D",... .. T...... _ •• 4 ... and discussion groups. We are job market. SIgn up with the 5, 7 and 9 p.m.; Tuesday at 5 ( Itlhdnk (Ntw 'urk 'I"'I~' 0per8tar 2IMI. TOP for a personal, free eaI compensated for your contribu­ I lS5 physical fitnesl assessment. located in the Student Center, reference room dill" p.m.; Wednesday at 9:30 p.m.; tion with the admiration of yow L SIgn-ups are downstairs in the right next to A.S. l...edure Not.. . TUIIday. AptfI4 and Thursdav at 5 p.m. Thurs- friends. (~ - - .- Monday, April 3, 1995 . The UCSD Guardilll .- 8 The UCSD Guaidiiri '" College Life: WeAre Here. An Exciting Series Of Lectures, Readings And Performances Hosted By The AFew engsTo OnCampus. ~ UCSD Bookstore ow 6:00 PM-7:00 PM For YOU. UCSD Bookstore * Wednesday Night Live Guests March I Dr. Kary Mullis: Nobel Prize Winner in Chemistry

March 8 Dr. Edward Golub: Will discuss his book The Umits of Medicine

March IS Greg Tilford: Author of EcoHerbalisl's Fieldbook: Wjldcrafti~ in the Mountain West. presents "&0 Herbalism: Healing the arth and Body As One-A Lecture On Medicinal Plants" March 22 Arthur Frommer: Author of travel books will speak about KAlOW: WJ,;Gh ,ff-c."'PLtJ For 9!!-~"!'~ Copies ... And More! "The Art of Budget Travel" March 29 Informal Get Together: Read a soort passage from your favorite b,() kstcJt'c w; 1/ blCY b.ck YOIA,. book to the group. Call to get onto the sign-up sheet. • Full & Self Service Copies I4fftA .tllf teJCHooks fa .... hlo .... e +),4" 2.S4 ~4ch. AprilS Flo King: UCSD Bookstore staff member • Photo Processing • Fax Services will present Canine Companions for Independence • Computer Rentals • Custom Posters April 12 Thomas Levywill discuss and sign~es of his new book • Custom Binding &Finishing The Arch~ of Socjety in !he UWX Land • Full Color Copies • Office & Film Supplies April 19 Maria Gillan, Jennifer Gillan &: local authors will discuss their ··Free Pickup & Delivery on Campus·· collaborative book UpseniiDl America; Rg apd Elhnjcity in CoPtcIDporaot American Ppeuy April 26 Dr. Wm. Arctander O'Brien: UCSD German Literature Professor will ~ about Gennan Romantic Poetry and his book Noy~jgns of Revoluljop PIlI CINII c....- "I~'" all"", Harry Polkinoom and others: Will perfonn "Sound Poetry" " NOW: Monday-Thursday 7:30am-9 :00pm w~i'" ")o-,.,i" .. tes-ot-- it'r-fr-ee" Friday 7:30am-7:00pm 2.14 plett QIWClYS -r .. keS e.r'IC~tly 3' 1t'I·ln",t~s. Saturday & Sunday 12:00am-S :OOpm Plio •• 677-9000 I FII 677-9019 Located on second floor of Price Center

~NOW: · whicJ. evi', ,144,.te,.- e.ti"" 14 w.., ~ "0 mO·t'­ lW\.d·'h~S fa (lvoici. HOT. Bum, baby, bum-disco inferno. Power MacIntosh-7100 w/CD Macintosh Pertonna- 6115 wICO 16MB RAMI700MB liard ctn, W-ROII drive. 8MB IIAWl50MB MId ... aJ.IlOM MyboImi 1lfIIi __ 15" mIor." .... 15· mIorlllJi'rJe ~- KNOw TUE '· ODE,~ IlfIIi IIIl "'..",.,.".. ., ... tPrice u CPU.II1Ir. lIcrm IIId ~ sold JePII*Iy. IT ALWAYI C.O.sTJ LE'sJ THAll 1--,oo .. c.OllECT.l .. Not the burger, pal-the killer computer. Hey, on college campuses those "in the know" are the ones who rule. diaL And it's not just about being smart in the classroom, it's about being wise Hmmm with your wallet as welL So if you want a great low price on a collect call, just dialI800-CALL-ATI. It always costs less than I-800-COLLEct Always. [1111111 There are lots of tricky things for you to learn at college, but here's Cheap. Not as cheap as a taco, but hey. something that's easy: KNOW THE CODE, and save the person on the 11 II- Color StyIeWritere 2400 other end some serious money. You'll be glad you did. ALWAYS COSTS LESS PowerBool<- 520c wlModem THAN 1-800-COLLECT: 12MB RAM/jJOMB liard drltt IlfIIi modem. Jnj ""*"" IJIId IlIIM indutIId.

RIGHT NOW AT YOUR CAMPUS RESF:LL[R UnfortunaIeIy, theywoo' stay tim bN~. So you need kl bget aboot how hard)Wl' life • em a ~ a student ~ hard. So we've made buying a Maclntoslr ea\"f. So easy, In fact, that the minute am start ~ aboot how easy it will bewith a MaclnklSh. The am- Appl J. A1m: Your 1hJe \bice: prices 01\ Macinlo/;h personal romputers are now emllower than their already kJw student prices. (Mer thai giYes)OO the ~ any student can lISe. The power to be)Wl' besr. le_

I .. ~I I I" "Of I ' 1 I " UCSD Bookstore Computer Department Located inside the Bookstore, second floor of the Price Center.

PlID YOU. ""III For more information 5344291 .

C 1995AmT . 10 The UCSD Guardian - - Monday, April 3, 1995 Monday, April 3, 1995 The UCSD Guardian 11 . , Nllda 1r------, '1, .., .. liil.. Ir larll 1 DISSERTATIONS 1000 Ihs or less? r'------,HAIR • WE WANT EVERYONE We're the small DESIGN Y9.H SURE, WE MIGHT EVEN TAKE YOU New Mattress? il HARD BOUND .... TNft. : ':;~~i ~F'IIH' I ·("I• ,: , load speCialists! King: 20 year 1·' ... ·--· 1 • Welhip anything from 1 to 1,000 • $3GO til ",IIM _ .CIot_ ... • --.. - -I MedictJI cl TechnictJI 1-1 10 ._·---. 1 APPLY TO JOIN THE RANKS OF THE PROUD, THE FEW, THE ONES WITH A PRESS PASS Queen: 20 year • IIf. 5/3''''. Journals Bound ~::r:li • $250 to _11M I.., OlE 1 FiM UillMl Binding • InIIRd iii ~ FuH: . 20 year 12... fill 1 • Pickup ..vice I flee IIIImIIeI • BECOME A GUARDIAN: Foil Stamping • Tape boas. pecldng materIIII • $200 au JncllIIM :--"8ET 1 and more tor do-II-yow'IIIIIerI UTe I COPYREADER NE 1 Ac:MI ...... n.... ••• out • OPINION WRITER Twin: 20 year FREEl 1 ~w~ilwuraNB Bool[ ~~Pa.1iDI G5Drc. DIL ..I...... • NEWS - STUDENT GOVERNMENT BEAT REPORTER OR SCIENCE WRITER tu BINDING Co. Nul to MInIIDUM 7U&I1 I $150 1RcI." 1 1a JIIII r.u.g mo Reoents ROllI 1 ARTS AND ENTERTAINMENT WRITER 3451 Euclid Ave. --- -'712-2211 CI .....IQUMI • 1 811. 108 in tile Vons Shopping Center 1 MIlt to VonI 27.... No Dea1ers Please. San Diqo. CA 92105 1:moc.r..l c-.y ..... 11·':30 s. •.·Tl1"$.'1t·10 fr io ' SIl. .... DIego, TDltAUllfA GIIiIw8y...... • 1 ...... 1 521-0348 CA.,. I Muat proa.nt coupon . EKp . 4/17 / 9 ~ .I Call 423-4897 We "ccepl ~LllltJetllors coupons' 15 '0 STUDENT DISCOUNT CALL 534·6580 .. _------HELP WANTED at the Guardian

The Guardian needs a STUDENT GRAPHIC DESIGNER for advertising. Show us your f1ai r, and at the same time gain valuable experience in the fast paced world of advertising and hyped copy writing. Pagemaker or Quark Writtcn & Directed experience required. by Yce Tung-sing A flex ible schedule, .. especially Wed. and Fri. ~~~ with Aden Youn&" Beth ChMlplon • Australia with Anita Yucn & Lau Ching-wan • Hon~ Kong afternoons would also be April 6 • 8:00 p.m .• Mandeville Auditonum April 4 • 8:00 p.m. • UCSO Mandeville Aucltortum nice. Call Mike UCSD Box Office: Sa.·TIXS UCSD Box OffIce: 534-T.,es at 534-0468. $a6 .E>i¢lP~@ Film F¢·cttiYal 3&6 .E>i;.¢·~@ Film F.~ ·cft;iY&l '&6 BitSo PJot"ihint·. UCSD Un.iversity Events "'E!)&I Bii(SO Pr~"fui~n· UCSD UNIVERSITY EVENTS Back from Vacation FIND Film Special " ,,,,

Can Sunshine Store 1995IPRING '!""'_... , ,-..~ ...... Ind R't,ll, Suntl" SI",

StmGs

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Computen See the Literature departmehffor information and entry forms. Questions? Contact Nancy Hekseth or Kelly O'Sullivan, 1M ...... 3110 Literature Building. upstairs In the N, Llmll ~ttnt Center IItboYe the 24 II J6.... t to. 12', • ISM ..... fllM_" ~Stofe. All ...., nil ....~I. ptIIh. •••W, II .... II ...... 11 12 The UCSD Guardian Monday, April 3, 1995 Tbe UCSD Guardian 13 April 5th EDNESDAY 6pm-7pm Revellels Anehorvlew OASIS Summer Bridge Program '95 W UCSD Bookstore Caleleria is hIring lun 'and NIGH 1st floor Summer Job Openings energelic peo'ple 10 begin AnII ••I. POlItI.. ContIct Mall! or Scllnet flcllllltOll ($8.99-$10.791hr.) Trang Vu working Ihis quarter_ 534-1469 (GH 1058) Presents GIlman DI1ve Info Booth CommunicatIonI Bldg. Writing F.ciIIIitOll (SS.99-$10.79/hr.) Rhonda Lee McCoy Canine Companions Tooey PI,.. Cer'IIIr 534-2284 No. T.P. Info BooIh (Old Student C1r. Rm. 214) for Independence ScrIppI Ubra/'f ~ DIICIIIIiOI F.cllllllarl ($8.99-$10.79/hr.) Patrick Velasquez We aHer: . ScrIppI Canines and the Disabled Snack Bar c;a"'" 534-3760 (GH 1058) An Effective Partnership Neuremberg Hall. SIO Appllcatloll DlADlINl IS r,'ay 12 1995 at4 30 pill d; Flexible schedules 81. GermaIn', althe appropriate ofllces for the above POSitions SATURDAY APRIL 1 ST This presentation will Cal Copy provide an opportunity BJ', PIzzeria RnldlnU.1 Peer COI/IIIIOII ($14731mo.) Ferdi Ecija Come join us at: 761 2 FAY AVENUE for people to learn more d; Opportunity to meet many KlnkO'1 Referral from career Services required-Job 1904593 534-3284 in the heart of beautiful downtown La Jolla • Outside patio cinina about the roles assistance Ralphs Application dl.llllnt: April 7 (MaIShall Commons 102) dogs play in enabling Vona Colil •• Co ...... lo,. ($8.17lhr.) Ferdi Ecija EE OVER $5.95 other students PoIar'I people with physical Yogurt Referral from career Services required-Job 1904592 534-3284 NO l.UNCH E~::REE OVER $9.95 WllltemBagei ApplicaUon d•• IIII",: April 7 (Marshal Commons 102) disabilities to become BIg e.r NO DINNER E., more independent. It will d; Good pay SoupExchq. also help people under­ Subway TIl. following pOIltlolll .re for GRADUATE STUDENTS ONLY La Jolla's Newest Restaurant stand the intensive Zebra Copy (S14.791hr.; referral from Career Services required. Job Is are listed below) d; Free meal with every shift Mlagro8Mn Wood Fired Oven Pizza training behind these Contemporary ..II Lectin,. (Job 1901796) Donna Clopine Koala Yogurt special dogs and the 534-3760 (GH 1058) Fabulous Pastas 8c Salads • Tempting Desserts 8c Coffees tremendous volunteer Taoo Bell d; Advancement opportunities ~EIc . MIIII.nd ScIIllCl LlCbln,. (Job 19445n) Trang Vu Full Range of Italian Entrees • Exciting Daily Specials commitment that goes Beans 534-1469 (GH 1058) with it. 551-8689 Subway Application DEADLINE IS r~ay 12 1995 Sped.1 Gue.t. Roberto', Posilions may be filled before the deadlines. so apply earlyl Takeout/Lofal Delivery ...... •...... ,. ~ C.,ol D•• II (progr.m 'Icllltitor) Jefl'1 Burg.. .;::;- Ch,11 M.,cll... (puppy rllser) wIP.ul,on (puppy-In-trllnlng) Neighbor Saver No. Shore Cafe Flo Kin, (puppy rllser) w/G.,b., (puppy-In-trllnlng) 1,lca GJ.,"on (grldulte) w/Alhl.nd (service dog) S~'I You will read this. So will others-many, many others. Advertise in 'IIIe au ...... today. Call 534-3466" 1! C,ady CII, ,sradulte) w/N.pol.an (service dog) Soup Exchange ~ Mid,. Ande'lon (graduate) w/CI,•• 1 (heerlng dog) Julie 'ulon (gradulte) wIP.tron. (service dog) ~ ~, La JaIl BrewIng Co. '.'b.r~ ...Clolllnil wIV.n .... (therapy dog) La Jola Public I..Ibfwy - ~~--~------~ Pennini For more information, call Jose BernIni', :z.nzt.r All departments are open until 8pm during Wednesday Night at 534-1096 or stop by and PIMiIdn yve appearances. Series is subject to change and/or 7·11 (La JoIa BMI.) ~1ed1ltlorr.'"taR catt (619)534-3149 for more Information. GET'~UBLISHEDi 1 talk to a supervisor. Luclcy'l Youmlte 'liD YOU I •• AIM vIcta CoIp. HMgenDas Conllllllon S. olin )'011 1he oppoItLriIy 10 .... and -- IMPRESS YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY (AT :z.nzt.r .~ WDIk In one of IhII WOIId's moll ~ Cfterema ..... The"YCIIeIriII EIipIIIIIa· •• LEAST YOUR MOM.) -' Boney'I IIdkJn of ...... gueIt..w.. 1f)'Oll Vans '-lie ~IO WDIk him and 1I'IIIIe, now -- STACK YOUR RESUME Soup Exchang. • you'dlInce eo join cu 111m. - BOOST YOUR SELF ESTEEM Dnlgon Houle w. ere currently accepIIng eppIIcaIionI f« • -- FAME AND FORTUNE (WELL, NO FORTUNE.) variety of poeitIoIliln all .,.. of hoIpItIIIIty Ben & JefI)"s eervloe In our hoi .., rettaulll1ll, ntf8II, -- GREAT CONVERSATION TOPIC FOR FIRST recreational, and auppor1 facMIn. VOI1I HousIng provided for appIicInI only. DATES. Sport Mart -- GATEWAY TO SUCCESS L.ucky'l For fur1her klfomllliol. and ~ ~ ~ cal or WIlle. Aob«1I -- FIRST STEP TOWARDS PULITZER (buck) Rice King AlIPI**_ wi be Sub SlOp UjectIO~ BUT SERIOUSLY .•• Untll Friday, April 28th RobertoI drug IMiIng. THE U.S. GRANTS OFFICE IS ACCEPTING RE­ Baltimore Bagel 0:.:;; SEARCH PAPERS AND PHOTOS FROM UNDER­ A-.a.A foccacia Red Robin GRADUATES FOR PUBLICATION IN: plate Pannikin ~VI"'" The Study THE UCSD JOURNAL OF Expr_Roma THURSDAY Blue Ooof Bookstore ~ UNDERGRADUATE RESEARCH David's Place , .t~ IT .C__ UNG KING LOH ~SO MED Ctr. STOP BY THE U.S. GRANTS OFFICE, RM 3.305 . sweetcorn soup @ THE PRICE CENTER. FOR INFORMATION. AT ROUND TABLE and latkes .spaghetti plate with FRIDAY Welcome back! Cruiscz by Dining Exprczss ... garliC bread For quick and convenient dlnlngl AT WENDY'S ~~ Spring breakls over - time~~ Choose from: TUESDAY chili, caesar side salad to start a new quarterl ~ tfttIJ /}lir1irf E~ fJJ8 -- -cort.. and pastrlers AT TIA MOLLY and small drink -Breakfast barrltos o.t the .t.ff yo. n••• -Hot-o"i:::3.rlll barters super vegetarian PL~S anctsa~.. thl. ~1I.'t., · with YIII' ../ ( • I . - ( I -soa~ -salads -8arrltos burrito -Fresh sanclwlches - IlIcldl., ••t •••• kt, texth.b, p.II, p.llcil., I•• h.b, ' ~i,~lil~t'rt, 'ol~.r y Throughout the 1995 Spring Quarter. ••Id •• .th.r •• ,,11 ...d., th 11.1 1•• ".1.: "'41f - Frl4" Ca •• Check out these locations for supplies, 7:45 - l:tS ••: I.IfOI ...... " 1:10 - 1:50 I.: '.111' PI •• t M-- COIMI'IIcncc end samgsl II~ .:.. - ':45 ..: Ttr", '1..... ,.. t.:.. - tiltS ..: ••u •• rtI •• ...... tilO - n:tl ••: ...... l.nII ••••rI •• n_-_.- I ...... IIW ••• ~I~~~ • (ii) P.O.~ .- ~. e- ttl" . n.IS ••• ttllS - tl,1I ""l1li "'" ...... IIAI. ~~ ,..,..,W t,M • t:ll ,.1 ...... '''''' ...... , . 14 The UCSD Guardian Monday, April 3, 1995 Monday, April 3, t995 The UCSD Guardiu SPORTSt5

CREW: Women Advance to Finals TH~ JHIRD ANNUAl ContInued from INC. 20 Thurgood Marshall College · Anteaters on Saturday. And again THEREIS STILL TIME UCSD prevailed, nipping Irvine by less than a second. To APPLY To I M~DICAlSJUD~NJ~ The next morning, the two col­ lided once more in the Cal Cup Fi­ GOLDEN GATE UNIVERSITY nal. The Tritons took the lead at the I,OOO-meter mark, but UCSD I l~AD~RSHIP WORKSHOP .t couldn't shake Irvine. Grabbing a SCHOOL OF LAW second wind, the Anteaters pow­ I ered past the Tritons to take the victory, and the UCSD crew Located in the financialllegal district of San Francisco settled for the silver medal. Chuck NeuYen/GuMII." Topics in Women's Health Care The Triton rowers got their re­ Accredited by the American Bar Association Ed Ruth Nmed AJI-AmerIc .... honorable mention In row .vema. venge later that afternoon. Row­ Full-time day and part-time evening programs (lOth) and the 2oo-yard breast­ ing in the Cal-VISitors' Cup, which Is there something you SWIM: Tritons stroke (15th), and Andy Holly­ featured the top three teams from Merit Tuition Scholarship Program Presented by: Take Thirteenth wood in the tOO-yard backstroke both the Cal and Visitors' Cup Emphases in Litigation, Evironmental Law, would like to say at Chicano/Latino (16th). Burgasser came up just races, UCSD got off to an excel­ Continued from .,... 20 short of All-American in the three­ lent start. International Law and Public Interest Law Medical Student Association (CMSA) Adam Burgasser became an All· meter, settling for an honorable The Tritons kept working until graduation? American by taking home fourth on mention and ninth.place. they knifed through the finish line the one-meter board. Teammate A number of relay teams also in second place with a time of April 15 application deadline for Fall 1995 at the UCSD School or Medicine Josh Curtiss, competing in his last earned honorable mentions: The 6:24.55, trailing only Oregon February LSAT scores accepted Basic ScIence BuUding NCAA meet, captured an honorable SOO-yard freestyle relay team of State. They also handily disposing mention for his 15th.place finish. Jefferson, O'Conner, Parkinson offourth-place Irvine by three sec­ The Thurgood Marshall College Commencement Garren Auditorium, Room 1105 After the opening day, however, and McAteer stormed to a 10th onds. the Tritons had decidedly less to and then teamed up again in the "It was an outstanding showing For more infonnation call 4151442-6630 Committee will be accepting graduation speeches until cheer about as their youth and lack 400-yard freestyle relay to snare for the team, and I'm extremely 536 Mission Street, San Francisco CA 94105-2968 Monday, April 10th, at 4:00 p.m. in the Thurgood of depth hindered them. Among the 14th. The ZOO·yard medley squad proud. This was tough competition Saturday, April 8, 1995 standouts who earned honorable of Hollywood, Ruth, Jefferson and and to hold on like we did, I Marshall College Dean's Office (TMCAB) . 8:00 am - 1:00 pm mentions for UCSD were Ed Ruth Gavin Bishop took home 11th to couldn't be happier," UCSD Nov­ in the 4OO-yard individual medley round out the honors for UCSD. ice Coach Emily Ford said.

Earn CME credIts and Join tbe medical students at UCSD For information: In a monlng of leaning aad networking. .. Welmme to the real. worfJ• planes, Please RSVP to Christy DiMarino (619) 497-1969. Stop ~ or call 5344390 I I I before the deadline! tnIas, $10.00 for students and $15.00 for Pbysklans/Resldents. altoaloo bIes The guys at Overseas Auto (see p. 5) sure ... .., ... did a great job tuning up my car. It ran ..,.eI ...... so good, that I went and washed it at CALCULATORS ...... , Costa Verde Car Wash (p. 16). 8AacPACKS _...... AMES 5 ECE 80 MATH 217A SCHOOL SUPPUES ART SUPPUES , n « AMES 10 ECON IA PHYSICS I ~ ...... I.: c-_ .. FIUt1 PROCESSING cw..u.~."-WM""'.S--D I r , ._0....,.....--.,.,.. IfI'-MO"'·...... • ,...O"'· ...... "'-f.... -llldIc o...._....,.~~ -r-- BIBC 100 ECON IB PHYSICS 2 CLOTHING ...... _~ .... ee.r. aMa'..... "'#If... • .....,.....,.,...... QoIdwfO'" BICO 100 ECON 2B PSYCH I CARDs & STATIONERY IIIove die HOUSEHOLD & HYGIENE ITEMS ae-JSIoft. BICO 110-111 ECON4 PSYCH 4 For lIlore INFO call 53'1--I3CJO FI.0Jos & REEF BRAZIL SANDALS BlEB 176 ECON 10 PSYCH 60 J£WELRY & SUNGLASSES BILO 1,2 :!:ON 100 PSYCH 101 FOOD & SODA EYE GLASS EXAM $35 EXTRA THIN BILO 22 HOURS ECON 120B PSYCH 103 SHOP CO-OP AND SAVEl EYEGLASS LENSES $59 ,- .. .. ~ J .. BILO 32 MATH I PSYCH 104 MON.-FRI. 8:45·5:00 FREE B.t.cK TO 5cHooL HOURS FIRST See Dick to to 8oobtore BIMM 100, 112 MATH 20AB PSYCH 105 WEEK COLORED MON.-FRI. 8:45-6:00 ONLY! See Dk/c spend lou of SSS CONTACTS Don't be Q Dick? 1 (9 iii ItkHek ~ etnma) BIPN 102 MATH 20C with purchase of any soft contact lens package PSYCH 129 534·3V32 of aU courses in the following ,. the tint full year of study. BIPN I .... located in the Old Student Center ffli1plciWACT MATH 200 PSYCH 133 . I I across from the Main Gym Includes eye exam, fitting, follow up care, care kit, near CHEM 6 MATH 20E PSYCH 153 I I sighted Rx only, other major brands In stock I I SEMI DISPOSABLES $169 ''I''IIfIIIl' ...... CHEM 107 MATH 20F PSYCH 169 . Gen \ StOre I I DISPOSABLES $169 ...... _. Languages era I I EXTENDED WEAR $109 IS Q. Why the the high-Price DAILY WEAR $89 Chinese I, 2, 3 CHEM 112B . MATH 102 \'leaper than I I German I, 2,3 Co-op c ) DISPOSABLE REPLACEMENTS $87 SoOkstore. Japanese I, 2. 3 CHEM 140 MATH 110 Center . not {or : 3·· & 4·· : - irtarl.ish ISS, 255, 3SS \ StOre IS CHEM 143A MATH 163 A. ,he Genera b students {or : COLOR PRINT ROLU : profit. We are run ~ @~.~'9~~~ CHEM 173 MATH 183 stUdents ! 2nd setd..•• ! 57-8-6796 6780 Miramar Road I AprIl J.ApriI 14th f~ I (2 mila ... of 105, behind ClrI'. Jr.' ------AII------______.I - - -- 16 CLASSIFIEDS The UCSD Guardian Monday, ApriI.3, 1995 ~onday,~13, 1995 The UCSD Ouardiau a.ASSIFIEDS 17 44". (4I:HI17) \ \ \ 4 H \ 4 .L \ I L \ I'~ 1101 ~I\L c.h lor dIge. 1OO.0CXI8IW* ____. No """".","". QMIIty I.. ".' 9 ')t. 1-a:JO.. OWN YOUR OWN HOME UCSD ... Md M3-2G6. (0-6'11 ..... 0I8C0UNTS. GIM ftrIIIncq...... UCS[), 1.2l1li "ao.OOO'1+ & 3M 'UIO.OOO+. Condoe kDuy hoIr. NMng t. Jolla. MALLOACA. SPAIN - AIrfare. hoIII. .. mMI. to UnIv. lIMen In M~ lflii CIy. MInI ...... DllMAr. P.:IIcBcll, CIInmonI . CLASSIFIEDS DocIga DavIDna 1114. In (IDOl! ...... ,... .,., SpMWI Need 10 SELL. ••• whal 11 YEARS lharp. A.e. " • .0. power; 3 y/o IIIIIIII*... lor _ .00.... .,., you'd If*Id cru.... MaIIw' ....Nlllllll:3~:3CIpni~,_ EXPERIENCE c:an dol REJMax AaIOc. JucIIII...... '15CWba1t4-l72' or "'117. lor 3 ...... an EIAI. t.I by UCSO MCIwr. is in increments. is (4/3-418) '"'"' UCID, IIIIiII '-a _ . t5 per hour. MIld For brocIIn. c:.11280-12511 01211-8425. (413) HeddoII, RMIIIr. ".274-4477. I'/I:t-04117) CiJlssified advertising sold 20-wonl The rate per 20 lVlJnU $2 for _ 8Id ""'- to a.o a..- ,.,. students (for persorial use only), $3 for faculty and staff, and $4 for others. Payment in 1356, t. Jolla. CA 82037. (3113-4/3) s...: w.n to canIIIct the CIwIcIIor wtIh $310+ I3lIO bedroomI to .... L..WTC In • oondo. 14OO dIpoII and 1/4 ...... Now- UCSO MIIIIcII CIIMr II ItIcraII _ hIIIIIy l.aot ~ on 3/1,* _ UCSO. T.... _ lei ... 0( _rill? VI ••Iectronlc meil: advance is required; therefore, ads must be mailed with a check (made payable to The dwuc•• or.UCIId .... FOI • NPIY. 8dd _ Todd 546-1142 01 Kay (10&-1111.(Il0l). ~ ~, ... ,. to!lO, lor. 2 hour 'E~ - '100 _ . 4IHOIIO. C3/1f.413l 8Id eIecWnIc mIIIIox. (4/3) 3) UCSD Guardian) or presented in person. Deadlines are 3 p.m. Thursday for Monday 3 9Iudy'. 510 plus perking wII be p!O\oldIII. c.. Loat __~ __ ...... inItWo ...... -... and ...... der.- willi ilia MIiIIr-"IIox~,~, ..... 111250.00. PIIIIa II 543-2314. (4/3) lkMrdy CIty Il00.00 38R 1.5BA. cando, .. issue, and3 p.m. Monday for Thursday 3 issue. The Guardian rese1VeS the right to refuse PIIowIllp, 881 001II13 guagac 1I4JIIOIIt, 20 YNf on .. s...... ycuC8l'~oI_ ...... 9IudInI AIImwIiva AdIon and HuIlWl RIIIIIonI "'.120_.ContiIct_. c.n' .... 1Pt)IIIncIe. .- echooI. Ihopping. lMge ~I warranty. 423-48117. (4/3) ee8-34G. (0-4181 1IwI? sr.... ycullOry. JC.G. P.O. Box 13251 . etc. 111118-11S Intern .,., CIer1< poIl\IonI v'*""-' Improve !he queIty oIWaIor children .. ~ piIIIo. pool, ~ ellen. 45().()()70 0.. any advertising including but not limited to companionship ads. For more informllaon t..IOIL CA Il203l. (4/3) _Mable: 10 hrl/Wlek, 18.17/hr. Refetrall IIaI< 01_ end ...... c.tng ~ .. (3Il~) MI04.800 Md HeM.lOl .. CaNer SaNIcaI. 1185 Toyota Ce/Ica GT, Br1ghI Red, New A/C. naacIId _ . Contact KItIII II Home SIart • 1112· call534-5416. MaiIingaddress: UCSD Guardian,Attn: Classijieds', 9500GilmanDrive, Deadline AprIl 14th. 534-8701. (<4I:t-04I10) f1127. (4(3.4/17) PFICSO\ \L~ KIipIIIn'. Spring LSAT __ .. lIMIng now! CO player, baIIIry, good .... 184.0CXI~ . NHd MaIIIance willi EngUah requlremenll? LA REGENClA3~, 2b11h1oom. SMIting GrHI Condlllonl '---..831-0181. (<41 ESl? MCAT? I have advanced dagr_ In 0316, La Jolla, CA 92093~316. ActuJJl address: Student Center A, top j1cor. .IU 110m IoIorgon .. . ~ '-.... _ Enrol In the pogram which ".. '-' .en by _ 1OOIIYIIIIe (mile 0I18maIe). Pool ...... gym, 3-<4120) 1Inguaga. Cd An 538-11383. (<4/3-4JI) _ hili a mIIIon pacpIe too.y by CIIIIIng (800) Fundr.... : Group •• Gruke, MottvelM _ . ~'.... ESE .....' d-. 01 'III. __ _her/dryef.3 min. IIomUCSO. CaI!I5I-2I24. KAP·TEST. (413-418) IIIdIwlclualaI Earn 1500.00+ for 1 week project. 5'10', ..... biIttodov on Fib. :Ie. ~ CIII moffllAH (3Il~) Poeldonlllmllad. Cd 1-1100-344-774381d. 517• . 2 Peugaoll Q.apHd bIc_, rarely UI8d , exceIant 1'egarI_ low _ '11.11S or '31.85 willi 2 mol. (from r""", _ ·1832. ~ RoomIIa -*d; ...... male, non-""'*-t to VIIIIIyI. SImi, CamarIIo & IooIaIIbu Melt U1 c.rtng (<4/3-<411) condition . S50 each. 454-5823. Olnette HI will fnII aIrtimIi, IIay In Itu;h, low monIhIy 1irIImI, a...lor the.MlaGREuam_1Iar1Ing100II .,...... bedroom; _ 1h8 IIrMI 110m ____ ..... 1MIruaIDri lor IIIUW, 3 CIhaIrII5O. (<4/3) IIIready acIlvlled at no charge, delMlracllO your M. FouIkI ... .-, h80 k _ 8 __1 v-. · I""~ II KIipIIIn, C8I (800) KAP·TEST today 8Id ftnd MMIIr bedroom lor !WI In MIra ...... "ec)' VonI: LM P81nM; S300 + 1(3 ...., c:.IIl22. gym, horMbac:II riding, ~, calli, depoI.. S35O/mO. UIIIIIIaI 1ncWed, Laundry. 1I.1Oft Jolla. Earn 10 '121hr. +~ . Tropk:.I & horne 01 bill.... 1,.1154-,_. (4/3) Imagine life • the 'G' ""'-my paMer In erina. my OUIwhyour-,_~II~ 1143. (4/3-4117) 1WIrnnq, 1IIIIIII1MdIrv, IPOIII, 101M - & rig1t hand man, my _ Panza. my ToniD on aKl poInII_ doc:umenIad byPnc.WII8rI1cgaI pool. Female. ~er. AwIA. 3-25. 54e- mora. Nowlnllr MWlllll&-ae&-8213. (312-4/3) MountaAn <*tinatlona nIlIonwIda. 1·208-632· _ _ .. '-'_15. _ . (411) 1125. (3113-4/3) lii04i''' Talen. Search. PRETTY GIRLS, 0150 .... R!i8781. (<4/3-<4124) Spor1a minded IndMduatl Icoklng 10 make • (413-418) 2 SA Sale 5111.50 8rIghI, Ig. pilla, AMATEURMOOELS,OANCERS,ACTRESSfS SacrtIIca blgill find OUI Ilia Ieor• . 1·1O().528-7000 ... page, IncUIeI ~ . Wdc to llCSO. 2 COUNSElORS: CAMP WAYtE. co-ed camp. NEEDED BY STUDIO. SVP 45H00e, PAGER -wRmNO PROBlEM?- Prolelaionll wriIlIr ~ __. 2elSlmonth. MUll beGred. or The aty 01 San OlIgo II aJrrandy 1lICfU~ lor 8307. $2.ae par mlrUa. Mull be II yrw. Procall The .Mw GMA T II coming up I0OI1 .,., I() paoli + ..,... 4!NM4. (4/3-4110) Pennaylvanla. Have are 1122-8I20/Il5. the moat 88l'-aeleANYTIME. ~ with 350 publlca.ion credill 011.,. ""leal Co., (802) 1154-74ao. (4/3·<4113, KIpIan'; claUallor 1l1li -. How can gal Mad. 11UdenI, AYIIIIbIe tt(1N, Clean, quiet. memorable IUmmer of your IIMI CoacllH, 8Iyand Ocean lNeguard. SI0.23Ihr. For ilIo you CIA (81e)236-8I41. (4/3) ...III.nc. wllh I.rm p.p.r., Ih •••• , r.Io 1h8 buIlr-. IChooI 0/ cIIoIca? C8I 19IpOnIIIIe. Cal 87&-020II. 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Okay, maybe I was wrong. Maybe I was a bit too hasty in previous columns when I said ,. that things always stay the same. Hey, I was young. I was naive. I was doped up on Fruit Roll-Ups. What can I say? Things don't always stay the same. In fact, sometimes things can actually take a definite tum for the better. After all, how do you expl .. in the recent resurgence of legitimacy in the local sports page? Gone are those articles about lame sports like figure skating and sailing. Gone are those sappy stories about the baseball scabs. I mean, it 's a bigger • Chuck NIUYen/ GuIJll1lIJfl turnaround than the time they airbrushed my face for my The UCSD women', varsity crew rowed Its way to a fourth-place preliminary heat flnl'h before taklnc third In Saturday'. Petite final. high school graduation photos. It's a miracle. The lifesaver has been tossed. The ship has come in. Superman has made Tritons Stage Classic Row an appearance. The sporting world has been saved. CREW: UCSD men take revenge on Irvine; women novices make first Grand Final since 1989 I'm specifically talkjng about the return of baseball, By Grell Wrenn While the tWo schools battled it out a spot in Sunday's Grand Final. It solid showing, garnering third. Mike Tyson and quality Senior Staff Writer for the lead over the first 1,000 was the first time a UCSD novice The women 's varsity team didn't matches to the World Wres­ While the America's Cup had meters, UCSD steadily pushed to .. A" boat had made it to the Grand quite share all of the novices' suc­ tling Federation. trouble just keeping its boats above the head of the pack. Final in six years. cess. They placed fourth in their pre­ At first glance, many of the ~ater. last week, the UCSD crew The Tritons overtook Davis soon Taking a cue from their team­ liminary heat, sending them to the items on the above list may team had no problems crossing the ~er and seemed headed for the lead mates, the women's novice "B" boat petite final, where the Tritons nailed appear to be bad ideas from the finish line in record times, posting as the race flashed by. But Davis also landed second place in another down a third-place finish. 1980s - and, had I more one of its best finishes ever in last didn't roll over and staged a come­ tight race. The Tritons finished in For the UCSD men's varsity space, I would also include the weekend's San Diego Crew Classic. back of its own, pushing the Tritons 7:40.5, less than a second-and-a­ boat, Saturday's Cal Cup prelimi­ comeback of David Hasselhoff Saturday got off to a bang for the to the end. half off the winning pace set by Sac­ nary was the continuation of a ri­ - but, nevertheless, I implore Tritons when the women's novice- UCSD withstood the charge and ramento State. The team advanced valry. After defeating UC Irvine ear­ you to consider them seriously. 8 .. A" boat got upstaged at the start­ broke the finish line in 7:15.08, to that afternoon's Grand Final, lier this season, the Tritons faced the Baseball is finally back. It's ing line by both Cal and UC Davis. good enough for second place and where the "8" boat again made a See CREW, Page 15 time to go out to the park and consume some hot dogs. It's time to embrace the real players. After all, they Unlucky Thirteenth For Better Or Wertz probably won 't be on your favorite team for long, now CHAMPIONSHIPS: Young Triton men ALL-AMERICAN: UCSD's Janet Wertz earned that free agency is in effect. settle for 13th in D.ivision III nationals honorable mention All-American honors in epee And what about Tyson? Finally we'll have a fighter By Dan Kraft of the meet. The Tritons were By Dan Kraft H who can keep his belt longer Associate Sports Editor in ninth-place behind the Associate Sports Editor than it takes for Van Damme to This year has been unusu- ' strength of the diving team and In 1994, the UCSD fencing team finish off a bad guy with a ally rocky for the UCSD men's a pair of relay successes. In the had a banner year and, for the first one-armed crunch. Iron Mike swim team, which has been ac­ 400-yard medley relay, time, had a player in the NCAA cham­ says he'll be ready to fight in customed to UCSD's team of Andy Holly­ pionships earn AII­ six months - I say it will take success in years wood, Ed Ruth, Mike Jefferson American honors. alleast that long for ~m to past. and Kaley Parkinson earned This year, the Tri­ overcome the painful memo­ The loss of All-American honorable men­ tons sought to improve ries of his loving cell mate. key senior tions with a 12th-place finish. on that performance by . 1 And finally, we have the standouts from In the 2OO-yard freestyle re­ sending four competi­ arrival of the great L.T. to the the 1993-94 lay, Parkinson and Jefferson tors to the national tour­ W. W.F. circuit. It reminds me squad, in con­ were once again in the thick of nament in South Bend, of the grand 01' days of pro junction .with the hunt, this time teaming with Indiana. wrestling - days of Randy the youthful freshmen'TIm McAteer and Bill Going up against Ylkov ZoJotOffN/GuarrJlIIII "Macho Man" Savage and the faces on this year's team, re­ O'Conner. The foursome such Division I opponents as Notre Gabe Uwion took 27th overall In Junkyard Dog. Everyone knew sulted in an expectedly average slipped into the finals by out­ Dame, Penn State and St. John's, foil .t the NCAA Championships. it was fake, but no one said a performance at the NCAA "meet dueling Overland College in a UCSD emerged with a 23rd-place fin­ 25, and they got off to a roaring start. word. Now, L.T. will be tested, held March 16-18. The Tritons swim-off and eventually nab­ ish and a bit of respect rarely given to Janet Wertz, competing in the epee di­ and I ask: Can he act as well as came in J3th, as perennial bing eighth in the country to Division III scbools in this little­ vision, qualified for the final fence-offs he did when he simulated a pro champion Kenyon College ran earn All-American remgnition. known sport. with a 19th-place finish in the prelimi­ football player a year ago? away from the field for.the title. In diving, junior standout The womeJI were the first to hit nary round. In any case, sports is saved. Day one was UCSD's best See SWIM, Page 15 Notre Dame floors on Saturday, March See FENCERS, Page 18

______IMI.l .. 1il·],l~ ______...... : ...... 1: """111: t...-... Today, at Concordia University, 2:30 p.m. The Tritons The UCSD ...... : Wed., April 5, at So. Cal. College, 3 p.m. won two of four sluggers kept The Tritons 8oIf: pmes over the an even keel, qualified six ". Today, at Chapman University, 12:30 p.m. break, most going 4-4 more athlete, ... ·.V_,....: recently overall at the for Nationals at Tues., April 4, at Long Beach State, 7:30 p.m. dropping a Spring Rebel the UCSD Open . ___ ·.W...... doubleheader Games In and the UCR Wed., April 5, vs. SDSU at Canyonview, 3:30 p.m. to Cal Lu. Orlando, FL. Invitational. .I / ,I / ~1~'"j:I:e:f=­ THE DIS R E UC ... eruz .... All Meat Products SANTA CRUZ - UC Santa Cruz Chancellor Moon Beam Sunshine banned all meat and meat products from the campus last week. The move has widespread support among the student body. "Meatism is a plague that preys on our society," Sunshine said. "We UC SAND IN MY EGO SATURDAY, APRIL 1,1995 VOLUME 666, ISSUE n must strive to bring equality to all food products." The campus will still allow vegi­ burgers, but only if the name Parking Permit is changed to less "meati'st" language. "Chlorophyll­ Empowered Patty" has been Fees to Double suggested as an alternative. This Quarter UCR Researchers Find Useless Mold DECEIT: Increased revenue to RIVERSIDE - Scientists at fund more meter maids. Student UC Riverside announced last week that they had discovered leaders plan protest a new type of fruit mold By Sonny Bono growi ng in South American Not to be Taken Seriously papaya trees. The discovery, Responding to complaints about the lack of whic h has no practical student parking spaces on campus, Transportation significance and has been and Parking Services is planning to double the ignored by the scientific price of a student parking permit. comm unit y, is being widely The new parking fee, which will be raised to touted by the UC Ri verside $160 per quarter, is designed to discourage stu­ admi ni stration. "It 's ve ry dents from parking on campus, according to Park­ similar to every other kind of ing Czar Peter Afsari. The new rate will go into fruit mold previously discov­ effect immediately. ered" aid UC R researcher "If we keep jacking up the price, maybe stu­ Laura Bernthol. "But this is dents will start walking to school or taking the exciting because nothing has bus," said Afsari. "If we 're lucky, maybe they'll ever been discovered at UCR drop out all together," he added. before." Duncan Renaldo/The Cisco Kid Construction crews beean constructlne a new subterranean entrance to The increased parking revenue will be used to RIMAC', Inaccessible main arena yesterday. hire eight new parking enforcement officers, Afsari Student Drawl Ire added. For Public Stuclylng "Hey, I'll show those kids a 'parking Ge­ SAN DIEGO - San Diego stapo,'" Msari said. "The twerps don't know how RIMAe Sinks 17 Feet good they had it." State student Tara Dwire is facing expUlsion from school Students were outraged by the decision. "I'm for publicly studying on the outraged," said Thurgood Marshall College senior SDSU campus. She has denied After Mild Earthquake Amanda Monchamp. "And I don't even have a the charges, but seven car." witnesses have come forward The Associate Students won't debate the issue to corroborate the WHACKED: Mafia threats Moran Construction, which built RIMAC at until their Wednesday night meeting, but a plan to administration's assertion that may prevent UCSD from a cost of$34 million, relocated to Sicily yester­ fight the fee hike has already been developed, she was reading from an day and was unavailable for comment. according to A.S. President Carla Tesak. economics textbook in a suing the contractor Despite a university finding that Moran is "We are ·going to hold a bunch of poorly at­ public area. "Frankly, we are completely responsible for the damage, UCSD tended and badly planned protests that won't ac­ baffled by this kind of By Bill Clinton has no plans to pursue legal action against the complish anything," Tesak said. "Basically, the behavior," said SDSU Needing a Miracle contracting company, according to Hellmann. normal routine." President Thomas Day. "We Adding to the already lengthy list of prob­ "They have mob ties," he said. "We tried to Members of CALPIRG immediately issued a thought our students knew lems at the new center, the east end of the sue them last month and they knocked off press release stating that the group planned to better than this. I mean, we Recreational! Intramural Athletic Complex Tommy [Tucker]. I'm keeping my mouth shut." work with the A.S. to fight the proposed increase. have a reputation to uphold." (RIMAC) sank 17 feet into the mud following "This is all off the record, right?" he added. "We plan to circulate petitions," said CALPIRG SDSU has been ranked among a mild earthquake late Saturday night. Construction crews worked furiously Sat­ member Michael Kinoshita. "It won't do any good, the top party schools for over Unnamed experts say RIMAC may con­ urday night to stop the sinking and stabilize the but we are in the petition business. That's just what 10 years. Social custom has tinue to sink for the next several days. foundation, according to RIMAC Project Co­ we do." been that students wishing to No one was injured, but repairs to the ath­ ordinator Erik Larson. Added Student Environmental Action Coali­ study must do so alone in a letic complex are expected to take up to three With the sinking halted, crews worked Sun­ tion (SEAC) member and head cheerleader Louisa dark room. months and could cost $4 million. day to reopen the complex. Cammidge, "They're doing their damnedest to "Oh man," said Assistant . Chancellor of "We've dug down and found the entrance, take away my only vice: driving my muscle car. Facilities Design and Contruction Boone but students will slide down a muddy embank­ My God, it's like taking the 1-15 away from a Hellmann when he arrived on campus Sunday ment to get to the door," Larson said. compulsive gambler." morning. "I feel like crying." See MOB, Page 3 See GESTAPO, Page 27 $5 Million 'Faculty Club Walk' Approved Unanimously

By Richard Bey According to Senior Campus Watson. "Besides, I've always felt Sinking to New Lows Planner Sara Davison, the walkway that adminisrators need more perks." Plans for a $5 million "Faculty is necessary to ensure Atkinson's However, the project came un­ Club Walk" were given final ap­ safe passage between the Faculty der criticism during a heated Aca­ proval last week after Chancellor Club Bar and his office. demic Senate meeting yesterday. Richard Atkinson used his power to "Sometimes Dick gets pretty "I hate this. It makes me want to quell dissent over the proposal. The tanked and has a hard time getting vomit," said Political Science Pro­ PHEw project will be solely funded by a back to his office," Davison said. fessor Peter Irons. OPINION: It is time for S35-per-quarter student fee hike. "With this he won't hurt himself Atkinson promptly ended debate violence. The revolution The 1,500-foot walkway, which anymore." by directing eight UCSD police of­ will not be televised. 4 will stretch from the Chancellor's Students will be barred from us­ ficers to beat Irons with a tire iron. Complex to the Faculty Club, will ing the moving walkway, but can "Cross me, and I'll squash you nATURES: Ant farms are require the permanen't removal of wander down the 2S-foot -wide path like a bug," Atkinson told the mem­ all the rage among college 450 eucalyptus trees and over 100 on weeken<4 and after 11 p.m. on bersofthe Senate as Irons was beaten students these days. 7.2 student parking spaces. weekdays. bloody in front of the podium. It will also include a moving wrhat way students will get plenty The Senate voted unanimously Jon Bon JtM/Sflll r--. lPORTI: Men's Freeze ' walkway for use by top administra­ of exercise," said Vice Oaancellor to approve the Faculty Club Walk. CIIenoeIIor Atk8Ineon .. ,.u.I Tag logs an impressive win tors. of Undergraduate Affair. Joe See POWER MAD, Pqt. 24 to .... tonIca. against UC Riverside. 12 2 NEWS The Disre-Guardian Saturday, Aprill, 1995 Saturday, April 1, 1995 The Dillre-Guardian NEWS 3 Lights AD NAUSEUM ...

Sirens ~=- CALVIS a DODDES with apologies to Bill Watterson

I' M ST UDYIN« nils r WANNA BE' A Lights & Sirens is just another ex­ and shoulders with a tire iron. Trans­ COOL BOOK ON BLOOD­ U.C. RE

Sophomore from each college Enrolling 1lQW. - A DEADLINE TO FILE IS TODAY, 4:00 PM. GO TO A.S. OFFICES, 3RD FLOOR, PRICE CENTER, SEE THE A.S. SECRETARY PROFESSIONAL 1~~I;U].'~Ul"'D 456.8488 DON1T FORGET TO VOTE AT THE FOLLOWING LOCATIONS: Revelle Plaza Middle of Muir RIMAC Plaza Peterson Hall Warren Lecture Hall Price Center non-walkway, near Career Services ComevWtual PREP COURSE- TUESDAY, APRIL 11 10:00 AM - 4:00 PM 8950 VIla La .lola, .1131 V 9am-!pm. M-f WEDNESDAY, APRIL 12 10:00 AM - 4:00 PM (Iet*Id"E-larcniBT~1 455-1000 ...dUra ._~ .../~ ___._ ... THURSDAY, APRIL 13 '10:00 AM - 2:00 PM /71 1 VLJ~I ··,t=ClI ., III '!:/ Watch for more infonnation about upcoming debates. I' ~ or: "':;~';'ICIA J.nirm 77Jl1I",.. ." fII'III'r.- , ~ 1". " • , . .. MY OPINION - The DWe.ouardian - NoDday, ApriI I, ·199S S CLASSIFIEDS " . SaturdaY. April I, 1995

m AllIn B. WIIdsteIn, Esq. m EDITORIALS ~.11.L\ Usa A. alton ~.l.1J.\ Team 0.1. DOUGLASS ·ITO· ALDANDER, JustiCI Gone Mad SIMONE ·MARCIA" MILLER, BouffInted ProMcuter PINION CLASSIFIEDS LEGAl. CONSUL11NG SERVICEs ANNA ·NICOlE· VAISMAN, Totally Deed Classifiedadvertising is soIdonly to those with friends in high places. The rate per "We help you to help yourselr TIIe~" pend ...... __ ...... ,.. R...... ll1115._ ~- -lDu.1II'1N $45 __UC _ -d __ReeInIa . .. _ be _...... _. --In 10 _ .. .. en - oIIIIr.... WI _ VISA. meter is words ifyou are a student. All other people can have whatever they (619)297 - 2122 Wa'lt for free, up to one kilometer. Payment in smllll unmarked pesos is required, Our purpose Is to provide San Diego students but bring proof of citizenship. Proposition 187 has mIlndated that all illegal with affordable legal services It Is Time to Hunt the Mexicans be banished from the realm ofclassified adverstising or face deportation and certain death. • Landlord/Tenant problems • Employment discrimination Regents Down Uke Dogs • Creditor harassment • Simple divorces • Business partnerships/Corporation • Contracts We've been bad. Bamboozled. Hoodwinked. Suckered. Led astray. Indeed, we bave been played like a buncb of dim-willed come take this piece of crap from my Come by the ChanceIIor's OffIce and house. I just can't take the pain ask for Did< . (4/1) college boobs. Last February, as we toiled to gatber thousands of anymore. Catl Bucky Quinn at 555- fOR A IRII 1"'111 ·\1 rHo'l (O""'>ULTMIO",, (ML 197 -1111 4432. (411) Subject needed for a literature paper. t T-sbirts for our "Rip tbe Shirts Off Our Backs, But Don't Raise Democrats, Organizations, People, Our Fees" protest, as we chanted silly anti-fee-hike slogans and have to write on Hamlet. WUI pay top Environmentalists and Students dollar for good ideas. More it you write banged on bongo drums like a bunch of mindless eM hippies - (DOPES) will have their first meeting the paper too. Catl Doug at 534-6580. Find It /lell It In the indeed, as we collectively labored for the greater good of human­ today in the Chancellor's Office. Bring (4/1) your gas masks and biUy clubs. (4/1) SUmmerlntlrMhlp: Gain construction Gu_dl.. C...... ity - tbe UC Board of Regents secretly met in dark, smoky industry experience! Work outdoorsl FILL OUT A FORM UPSTAIRS IN THE quarters to, yes, laugh at us. And worse. Duties include:cuttingdown eucatyptus ~EH' It:E~ STUDENT CENTER. Ob sure, the regents act real nice in public. They pretend to trees while collecting worms for Gampuscatering. Send resume/cover care about us and all tbat is fine and good and decent. Buttbat's S$S FOR COLLEGE for atl UCSD Small room in tiny condo near campus. letter/prison record + $45 application students 1No nigh GPA, financial need, all it is: Pretend. Make-believe. An elaborate subterfuge. A clever Must like dogs, cigar smoke and processing fee to Morohn & Hellmaan or obscure affiliation to descendants of ruse to bide what we've suspected all along: That they are evil. romantic evenings at home. Mates only. Co. Ladets need not apply. (4/1) Tommy Tucker required. Just come $650, plus all utilities. Call Amie at When tbe regents descend into "closed session," they don't fret down to the cashier's Office with a 534-6580. (4/1) BIG sssm: Spend your summer semiautomatic weapon and help about student fee increases, faculty pay cuts or our rapidly slaving away in Alaska gutting fish and yourself. Compliments of the UC Uve in your own beautiful master sleeping in wharehouses. Work in DO sinking $34 mi11ion athletic center, they break out the vodka and Regents. (4/1) cigars, and begin plotting against us and all of bumankind. bead room in beachfront apartment. sweatshop conditions, have absolutely Own bath, underground parking. indoor no fun and make much less money **RESEARCH PAPER HEll-- Will Indeed, when tbe regents were at UCSD, the predominantly pool. Mate or Female.Only $250/month than you thought you would. call abide all University of California ricb, white, male board spent nearly three hours getting drunk, plus 1/2 utHities. Must not show fear Exploitation International 81 BOO-FAT plagiarism laws (unless you don't want trading jabs about our T-shirt protest and contacting the undead, around large snakes. Call Vinnie at LIES for more information. (4/1) usto). Close to campus. Catlx4CHEAT 555·7465. (411) A ac.cording to someone really important who knows tbese things. or come by my shack behind the eM for an estimate. Ask for I. Boesky. The W 0 rid's I a r g est stu den t In just one disturbing example, Regent Roy Brophy, who has a Have trouble paying renl? Electricity \\ \\TED B \BL) Afternoons only please. (411) and youth travel organization. bills gol you down? Want a place of really sketchy bistory as a renegade TIbetan monk, snidely Women with large um ... personalities DEEP FRy THE DOLPHINS your very own? We sell your tickel to RESUME PADDING - We can make remarked, "I'm reaUy beginning to bate these whining, fee­ needed for a study on something really freedom and economic slability: any resume look good. Just drop by the ~ellling punks. Fee hikes, sbmee bikes. That's alii ever bear!" Portable nylon housing units starting important. Catl Jeff Nelsel 81534-6583. COMMENTARY: Those damn tree huggers are letting the dolphins (4/1) A.S. offices and sign up to get elected ~g to SMleGoe, lie lat~ ~, "Next time, we should as low as $1001 Catl Tents R US at 1· to office. We can guarantee your just bire that Guido feUa to break some legs, maybe In arm or destroy America, the free world is being held hostage by a fish 8OO-GOOD SCAM. (411) SWM seeks sensitive, brilliant and election with just a Sl00 deposit. (411) 800-777-0112'STA ~f two. Or beller yet, just clock 'em in the head a couple a times and wonderful woman to be the focus of my FITO\~ bury 'em under RIMAC. I hear Moran Construction [the mob­ By Pewter ChenI market crashes would disappear. We could eliminate existence. My hobbies include picnics, rose purchasing by the dozen, getting tied contractor of good, clean work. And cheap, • Everybody Wang Chang Tonight hunger. We could eliminate homelessness. We could RIMAe) does Futon: h looks like a really comfortable lost in your eyes and romantic dinners provide boundless opportunities for all Americans and lOST: Massive Python. Responds to too. Poor Tommy [Tucker], he never knew what hit him." The When the creepy earthgirl, who chased me into a bed, but isn't 81 all. All the fun of sleeping capped oIfwith moonlight strolls on the the name Sally. Keep away from small 7QItts Master Mechanics room then reportedly exploded in shrill cackles. comer from which I could not hope to escape, eliminate Affirmative Action. on lumpy conc:rete for only $100. Wdl beach. No fat chic:ks. (411) children and hoIl8ep8ts. can Vlmie at -vw • AUDI • CHRYSLER --- Whether instruments of Satan or The Man, the regents and offered me a petition 'and a pen with which to sign it, It is a fact that Lyndon B. Johnson (the OtIly deliver. Catl Peter Afsari at 555-1493. 555-7465 (4/1) I had to ask, "Okay sport, what's tbe liberal agenda Democratic president with any merit at all in this (4/1) Males between 20 and 25 with no their slavish cronies have taken our trusting, little hearts and previous head injll"ies wanted for a FOUND: 15-foot snake. Apparently Sltuie'!"ts, Factt/~y & Staff crumbled them up one too many times. They are, withOut a doubt, tmjour?" century) had planned to eliminate the dolphin population Futon: Please take my damn Mon. I'n study on men between the ages of 20 fond of little girts and cats. Catl Roger 81 SPRING BREAK SPECIAL rotten to the core, and we can no longer tum the other check. Eartbalrt: Dolphins to realize these social benefits. But just as "Operation pay you whatever it takes for you to and 25 with no history or head injll"ies. 555-6623. (4/1) Sensing an article, I moved in for the Dolphin Deep Fry" was about to get underway, the 25% off Safety Check & Chemical Cooling System Hush Indeed, upon reading this editorial, a teary-eyed and enraged DolpItins? n .. ,.}, HI'IX A.S. President Carla Tesak pledged to fight back. "I pledge to kill. television show Flipper hit the nation like crack and fight back, " she fumed, unveiling a new, systemwide anti-fee Me: Dolphins? What about them? LBJ was forced to cancel the operation. Since then, the masses have been addicted to dolphins, campaign, "Rip the Shirts off tbe Regents' Backs." According to Eartbglrt: The Navy wants to "dispose" their dolphins. They say they who are portrayed to be as smart and :m'_ UC Student Association Director of Insurgency Naomi Falk, can't survive in the wilderness, but wonderful as dogs. Really. A dolphin ~ hundreds of disgruntled students will bum-rush tbe regents at the cranberries ~. they refuse to keep the dolphins until as smart as a dog? Tell that to my dog their next meeting, tear off their c10tbes and sell tbem as souve­ places like Sea World can make room McCarthy. He's really smart. He bites k. h tc,.o{ h G.i r' (,. nirs to passersby. The proceeds - tacky neck ties will reportedly for them, so tbey're going to destroy liberals and barks along with the . includ. from routine maintenance to major repairs sell for $S,OOO, pentagrams for an astounding $25,000 - will go serving S:Jn Diego since 1981 the poor things. national anthem. zombie toward filling the $1.5 billion UC budget sbortfall. Me: Hmm ... are these the dolphins If dolphins are so smart, why do But this is just a beginning. A modest one at that. The regents and 5820 al!JTOPORT Mall 450-9494 tbat the Navy trained to bear explosives they keep drowning in tuna nets. Tuna ode to my family and their high-paid dupes - their freakish inner-circle - deserve and sink commie ships? ... nets don't just appear. out of nowhere nothing less than a public, Singapore-style flogging. They Earthgirt: Tears running down her and gobble them up, they just kinda deserve nothing less tban being hunted down like rabid dogs in face) Y-yes, those p-poor dolphins. If dolphins .e hangin the water. Dolphinsaren'tblind. 884 3 Viii. La Joll. Dr., the streets. The list of injustices is long and harried, stained with How coCould anyone be so insensitive That is, they can see. You'd thi nk they La Jolla Villag< Cc:nt

NUDE: 1\vo A.S. U NIVFRSITY OJ officers agree to go to a 12-step program CALIF()RNIA, Continued from .,... 87 SAN I)IE(;() only in can see yours," Tesak yetted to Barnes. "This has clearly gone too far," screamed Falk, who then ran, still ta,,, 8 II";" ;" ,,,t,, 5 WllltS ... FREE 1 :~~;t.~~ shoeless, from the A.S. chambers. Wllh the purch.e o( any cootac:t lens packaae below A red-faced Tesak then climbed down from the table and slugged ENROLL IN SUMMER SESSION I 995 down another shol of tequila. • C HOOSE FROM OVER 250 CLASSES OFFERED • "I wouldn 't have done that if • GRADUATE EARLY David hadn'l bet me I wouldn't," $89~!~ $129~ she muttered. • LEARN A YEAR OF LANGUAGE IN 6 WEEKS Just as the room began to quiet down , two UCSD police officers burst through the door and demanded Please call 619.534.4364 code #16 or Tesak return Wilpitz's jockstrap. AI Cohol;'IGuardlan bartender mail the coupon below to be sent a free $.139 ~~ET~ear Underwear in hand, Wilpitz ad­ Jay Alarwal (standIng) came through In a big way, walking thr.. tImes during yesterday's game. journed the meeting without further UCSD Summer Session Catalog in April : ALL specials include lenses, rum, Exp. 513111S eyecare kll and (oUow up visit. debate. Midget Baseball Stands Tall ,------,Please send me a free BIG PUNCH: UCSD gave VCR the short end of the stick on Sunday Nobel Dr. =-* List 0' '95 UCSD Summer Catalog: By Hervi Vellachi Rosenbaum said. "In the top of Ihe UCSD racked up six consecutive Resident midget . second, we had some huge hits that walks before Schneider finally NAME ______Fools If you can't run with the little put us over the hump." found his range. AOORESS ______boys, you 're probably better off Rosenbaum was merely a cog in "I was inspired by the movie Alexander Thiesen resting on the short porch. the highly touted "pequeno pack" of Willow," Triton cleanup hitter Jay The UCSD Sal Wayson, Tim Nofal and Mitch Agarwal said. "I just waited, and CITY/STATE/ZIP______Judy Wiederhom ~.~ midget baseball Freelow that led the Triton barrage [Schneider) kept throwing high." iii~ team elected 10 with three hilS overall. In a scene reminiscent of Snow Shadi Almassizadeh -.10&&&.l1:li:"- do the former in "We hit everything. We reached White amd the Seven Dwarfs, last weekend's game against UCR new heights," Nofal said. "That was UCSD ganged up on the UCR Chris Holmes at Triton Whiffle Ball Stadium. the long and short of it." Goliath, tallying two hits in the bot­ Mail to: Short some of their key players, Indeed, UCSD jumped out to a tom of the fifth to take a 5-0 lead. UCSD SUMMER SESSION, Jason Ritchie the Tritons gave new meaning to the 3-0 lead at the bottom of the first, In fact, Triton slugger Freelow 9500 G ILMAN DR. 0179-16 phrase "big things come in small as Highlande pitcher Clam showed that he wasn't vertically LA JOLLA, CA 92093-0179 Brian K. Hutto packages" en route to a 5-3 crush­ Schneider was conlinually baffled challenged, launching a 35-foot ing of the visiting Highlandes. by the small strike zone. home-run blast into the lower deck. "We came through in a enormous "I was baffled by the small strike "I may be short, but I've got big Eric Schmidt L ______~ way," UCSD big man Henri zone," Schneider said. See PETIT, Page 56 UC5[] - ( . Bec·ause stuff"happens. Steve Dubb ..... Hey thiS is corporate America. We have to keep it clean. Michael Foulks Gregg Wrenn Ely Rabani THERE'S STILL ROOM FOR YOU Philip Michaels in these special topic SOCIOLOGY courses Jenny Craig Jorge Hirsch Go directly to "'e firs' class meeting ••• Mike Alva Sociology /D 189 "Ethnic Relations in Russian" Dick Atkinson Course Code: 227087 Alex, Again MWF 10; 10:45 a.m., Sequayah 147 Instructor: .Vladimir Kozlov Joe Watson . • This course will investigate the history of ethnic relations in Russia and the current problems affecting this huge part of the globe. There Tommy Tucker • are well over 100 ethnic groups in the former Soviet Union (and before that, Russian Empire), and the problems posed by the political Tom Barkley changes in that part of the world have immense significance for the future. Morgan Jolliffe • Dr. Kozlov is a well known Russian scholar from Moscow, who will be able Marcus Lobbia to introduce students to material completely unavailable in the United States. Dan McDowell Sociology/D 189 "The Current Situation in Yugoslavia" It's everywhere Elain~ Camuso Course Code: 225979 you want to be.~ MWF 1-1:50 p.m •• 8equiyah 147 Al Spong Instructor: Ana Devic Matt Schnurer This course intends to introduce a range of different explanations of the on-going war in former Yugoslavia, and to compare the analyses of Carla Tesak the conflict. Topics will include: the origins of the conflict in Yugoslavia, the national question; conflict or co-existence, disintegration and the war, and politics of identify/politics of bo,undaries. Wally Lockwood Don Lake • Ana Devic is a Sociology gradUllle from Yugoslavia and has spent much ofthe last 18 months there. Naomi Falk C VIM us..... Inc. 1995 8 SPORTS The Disre-Oulrdian Saturday, Aprill, 1995 DUMB HHIUR e.e. cummings i felt emotional pandemonium

I saw I Whopper of a game A New Era of Triton Football last weekend. When it was all over, alii could recall was the SPIRIT: The UCSD football team is now a reality; inaugurai , emotional pandemonium. Yes, season will begin next September at new BIGMAC Stadium lots of emotional pandemo­ nium. It was full of pulsating, By Hector Comacho squad, and it will hold official tryouts next week radiant pandemonium, and it Guardian middleweight contender for spots on the team. All athletic students, in­ shone all around us and filled Get ready for excitement, UCSD. cluding lacrosse players, hockey fanatics and us with exceedingly great joy! It's the beginning of a whole new era - an Women's Resource Center members are The gladiators of the field exhilarating season of Triton football starting encourged to apply. who reigned victorious after early next year. And with The Words' first unofficial scrimmage took that last tick of the game clock that announcement comes place last Wednesday against the Florida State had finally and ultimately big changes to the UCSD Crappy Criminals. UCSD didn't score within expired were truly magnificent FUOT mascot and uniforms. all four quarters of the 56-0 defeat - actually to behold. "I'm really psyched coming closest to the end zone during the coin It was breathtaking to about our new mascot," toss. watch those gods of the f'lt'l'~ administrator Tommy "I was just praying that the clock would run gridiron conquer everyone in Tucker said. "The UCSD out," UCSD quarterback Phil Garfinkle said. all their glorious glory. I Fighting Words will "Occasionally, I got lucky and the rusher would .., After all, it took many strike fear into their op­ be blinded by my pink uniform. Then I was hours of heartbreaking ponents." able to complete a pass." . practices, twisted shoe laces BRLL In addition, the Words The Words' best chance at crossing the 50- and broken dreams to get to will change their own duds to honor the 38th yard line occured late in the game. UCSD's this point. Yeah , quite a season since the creation of the pastel-colored Scott Paden was brutally crushed into the turf journey it had been leading up uniform by Dolphins' fashion expert Willie during one of his 23 punts, and his wits spilled to that point in chronological "Funny Shoes" Johnson. out onto the freshly cut grass. In his stupor, time that we call 'The Game.' "I'm worried about our pink and silver-let­ Paden declined the 15-yard penalty, and UCSD In fact, aliI could say - all tered uniforms," likely Head Coach Walter stayed within its own territory. I could utter out of my Payton said. "They're just not going to strike "We just can't strike fear in our opponents," salivating, nervous, twitching Mandelal GuBfllian supermodel and world leader fear into our opponents." coaching candidate O.J. Simpson said. "A large mouth - was "Boy, some Walter Payton might coach the Tritons. UCSD has already signed up a practice shovel would certainly do the trick." guys those guys are." Those athletes were strong and crispy like the bacon on a new Burger King Monterey New Mascot Burger, and they were also Baseball:. 1 Strike, It's Out bold and spicy like that Burger Draws Fire King Chicken Nugget swe~t n' LABOR WAR: Tritons boycott season and demand free agency, no salary sour sauce. From OLAF o mighty ones, if only I cap and perks; 'bloody pustules' to replace them for the remainer of year could kiss your humble shoes. By Van Drlesen If only I could bask in your By David Hauelhoff "It's not like Division III base­ Star Game held in Mesquite, ID and Our Man in Finland collective omnipotence for just Garth·s good-natured brother ball is any good," owner Greg the Division III World Series held The UCSD athletic depart­ a mere nanosecond. In a surprise move last week, the Schaffer said. "I could train my pet in Fry, NO. ment found itself in a quandry No, no. I am instead Triton baseball players' union an­ newt to hit in this league." The replacement players, mostly last week after receiving com­ required to only reflect on your nounced that it will boycott the rest "I could hit in this league," rejects from the Bio department, are plaints that the current Triton bountiful acts of grace. I can of the season un­ Schaffer's newt said. already practicing near sunken mascot fails to recognize the only write about your godli­ less the UCSD With over half a season to go, the RIMAC stadium, amid protests. achievements of other Omnipo­ ness in this fledgling paper. owners meet its strike could jepardize both the "Frankly, the owners can kiss my tent Gods of the Sea. You see, 0 great ones, I am demands. highly anticipated Division III AII- See SCABBIES, Page 17 Director Judy Sweet recom­ a sportswriter. I am fond of the Demanding mended that teams either take "' adjectives, clever verbs and free agency, a r.e­ their cue from the new football stupid puns, but moreso, I am peal of the salary squad (the Fighting Words) or be fond of you. cap and various renamed 'the Satanic Scandina­ Yes you, 0 noble Division perks - free dry vians. This drew immediate fire III athlete. You are the one cleaning, easy fi­ from Ulf Svenderlund, president who chalks up a Whopper of a nals and a "dinner date with Judy of the Organization for the Love performance day in and day Sweet" lotto drawing - the strik­ and Affection of Finland (OLAF). out. You are the one who gives ing players publically read a list of "That is unacceptable," it your all. You are the one grievances to the owners. Svenderlund said. "I'm sick and who reminds me of freshly cut "We're not going to take it any­ tired of Finland taking the blame Burger King fries. more," frustrated shortstop Holland for Devil worship in Scandinavia It doesn't matter if you've Gallupp said. "If I want to play at when we all know it's those got a bruised thumb or a UC Riverside, I should be able to Swedes drawing their damned bruised ego, you always give it play at UC Riverside. Of course, I'd pentagrams everywhere." your all, and in the end you be insane to make that request, but "And what about those pesky always have your chin up. It it was just an example." Norweigians?" Svenderlund makes me want to go off and The owners' response so far has continued. "I hear they're run­ get married for no logical been loud and clear - a strike ning out of virgins up there, and reason, I tell you. would only mean the unveiling of it ain't because they're feeling It was total emotional scab replacement players or, as the frisky either. Do I have to spell pandemonium. Complete Triton players' union calls them, it out for you, man? Sacrifices! emotional pandemonium. "the bloody pustules." Triton ecUs took the field .mId howls of protest. See LUCIFER, Page 13

____III.','j~!':t.1:.=[.I.l ___- 1MI11l1 ~', "':1r'~111 BInI W.tclllq: 8oId •• Twlnldea: til CUpter: Tues., May 26, vs. UC Davis at the Big Forest, 8 a.m. There are two The lovely CIa •••• ....Four calling very delicious malden saw Today, vs. Brian "Kato" Katlln at O.J. 's guest house, 2 a.m. birds, three Hostess the dark knight ...... 111tC= French hens, twinkies in and seized her Mon., May 25, vs. the unfair treatment of the Spotted Whale two turtle each pack. chance. His at the symbol of Administrative Evil, the Ubrary Walk, 3 p.m. doves and a' Each has a lone, pulslna ...... : partridge In a shelf life of love muscle Today, YS. Mt. Holyoke on my driveway, 5 a.m. pear tree .... CMJr 20 years. shone In the ...