Brown, SRC conversions to coed not in near future By Dave Collins College President Lisa Shambro all the colleges." Six years ago, Rice had three related, "We asked Dr. Rote noted that as early as 1981, colleges which housed members of Hackerman if and when Brown Dr. William Martin, then both genders. Since then that and Sid Rich would go coed. We Richardson's master, had number has doubled, leaving only had in mind that there were rumors remarked on the possibility of two havens for those seeking of charters or wills that forbade dual-sex conversion for the isolation from the opposite sex. them from going coed. He college. Now students have opened a informed us that that wasn't so." Hackerman also warned against dialog on the subject of converting Hackerman responded, jumping to conclusions. "First, we those colleges to coed status, according to Shambro, "If it does have to digest this most recent though the administration has happen, it will be at least two or conversion, which happened last made no official plans to that three years." year," he stated, referring to effect. Chris Rote, president of all-male opening of Wiess College to At a luncheon with President Richardson College, played down women. "The other two Norman Hackerman last the discussion. "It's not that big a conversions, if they happen, will Wednesday, the college presidents deal," he said. "Lisa asked him come in time, but right now, it's a raised the subject of converting (Hackerman) about it, and he little premature to start thinking Brown and Richardson Colleges to made no definite statement. The about it." coed habitation. As Brown ultimate plan, of course, is coed for An SRC suite: will it soon lose its delightful male ambience? -C. Clay see Presidents, page 6

I 1/ !' V ' ! INSIDE: • Thresher interviews profs about new coach, page 9. • Candide "wimps out", needs rewrite, page 11. • Cagers hang tough, lose nevertheless, page 15. Volume 71, Number IS WRESHEFriday, Ow«mb«r 9R, 1983 New coach speaks to students Merry Xams from HC by Dave Collins Brown College President Lisa Brown then addressed the Watson Brown, Rice's new head Shambro opened the session by problem of finding football players Here are some suggestions that will help everyone enjoy the advantages football coach, dropped in on asking Brown if he thought that who can compete academically at of the Honor System: Monday night's meeting of the Rice should have a universal Rice. He noted, "We want to Student Association Senate minimum standard for admission, recruit nationally. Texas is a great • It is the student's responsibility to know the rules for each exam — the meeting to greet the student body and what he thought that standard state for football players, but you time duration, the allowed reference materials, the time and place to turn it face to face. He presented his should be. He responded that a aren't gonna find all the people you • Self-scheduled exams are to be taken in the room they are distributed in. opinions and predictions to standard should exist, but the need here who meet those While a student is free to leave at any time, the exam is to remain in the administration and the athletic standards." approximately 150 students and a assigned room. The only exception to this policy is a student wishing to type video camera from Arts 327a, deparment have yet to define it. Asked if he had examined the his exam. while answering questions on the "We're working on that," Brown scholastic records of Rice's present • Most professors would appreciate it if you would mark the time and place compatibility of football and informed the crowd. "I think it's a football squad, Brown replied that the test was taken on the cover of the blue book. academics among other subjects. different kind of student who he had not. "I have not looked at • When you are finished with a take-home exam, seal the test and test Brown has become the center of comes to a private university. I their past records. I don't want to booklet by stapling them shut or sealing them in an envelope. a controversy at Rice in understand what kind of student is think about the past. I have not • Try to turn the exam in yourself as early as possible; if you cannot, make connection with the new looking for a degree from Rice. As even looked at the films from this sure whomever you designate to do this for you knows the correct time and place for turning it in. commitment to excellence in far as getting a degree and playing year's games," he said. • Remember to sign the pledge; not signing the pledge does not relieve you athletics recently announced by football goes, I believe you can do Stephen Sokolyk, SA secretary, from the responsibilities of the Honor System. the Board of Governors. His both, because I did." Brown asked Brown why he had taken a • Be circumspect in your conversations so as not to give or receive aid contract reportedly provides for a received a B.S. in geology from job which put him in charge of a inadvertently concerning an exam. package of $1.2 million over six Vanderbilt in 1973. situation which "is, on the surface, These suggestions are provided by the Honor Council. years, funded by the university and He admitted his lack of faith in see Brown, page 6 outside contributions. Through- SATs and similar tests, saying that out the hour allotted him Brown no standardized test can determine demonstrated his sincere belief in the full value or potential of a the possibility of a winning student, and thus should never be More stipends needed for grads football team at Rice with no the sole criterion for admission. compromise of academic Rice currently has no minimum by Brock Wagner The panel then moved to the Treasurer's office will not reveal standards. SAT score requirement. The Rice self-study panel on second item of business, allowing the exact amount of money graduate education held an open the people in attendance to air available for the individual forum last Thursday to discuss the grievances and praise. One of the programs. present and future state of Rice's first criticisms that surfaced was This discussion led to the next checks out graduate programs. Ten people, the lack of leadership within the topic, that of enticing good graduate program. students to come to Rice for by Melbsa Durbin primarily faculty members, attended the meeting. Since administrators have been graduate work. The number of Cashier Edward H. Potter has anything but supportive of the tuition waivers and fellowships has announced his resignation after 17 The first item the panel graduate program, faculty decreased recently, creating some years as an employee of the discussed was the response to the members are the only present difficulties. The faculty would like university. His retirement will take questionnaires which the source of leadership, in the opinion to try aggresively to get the best effect at the end of this month. committee had sent to all of the audience. Some noted that graduate students possible, but Potter began his career at Rice in departments at Rice that have when leadership has appeared, it this is difficult when students are 1966 as a professor of naval graduate programs. So far, the has met with resistance from the uncertain of what funds are science, but retired from the Navy number of responses has been front office. available to them. in 1972 to become cashier. small, but the committee expects more questionnaires to trickle in. Petitioners also claimed that the One panel member suggested During his tenure at Rice, Potter administration has not provided rewarding tuition waivers to each has seen many changes. Individual questionnaires sent necessary encouragement for department on a competitive basis, "Physically, the campus has to the department chairmen, research projects. Thomas Estlc, since there is a ceiling on the changed quite a bit," he recalls, intended to give the committee a chairman of the physics amount of money available. Those "with the addition of many new sense of the overall opinions of the department, exclaimed, "I feel that departments with graduate buildings — Sewall Hall and the department, have not all been if a department is involved in programs ranked higher than new computer science building, to satisfactorily answered. In many research, it is despite the others would receive more of the name a couple." cases, chairmen have submitted university." The solution to the tuition waivers. During the '60s, Potter responses from individual faculty problem, he said, would be a The panel preferred this idea witnessed some of the student members rather than the single, E. H. Potter —C. Clay stronger administration that is over a suggestion to eliminate protests that characterized the collective opinion requested. supportive of the graduate some of the small, "inadequate" period. Though he says Rice The Rice administration The responses to the program. programs. The panel felt that the students are and always have been underwent a major change in 1971 questionnaires sent to the faculty loss of morale that would come "pretty conservative," he can with the arrival of current have been extremely emotional. The third topic discussed was with the elimination of programs remember when protesters set fire president Norman Hackerman, They emphasize the lack of the money available to the would not be worth the small to the Navy ROTC building and according to Potter. He believes administrative and monetary graduate program, which proved savings of money. waved Vietnamese flags during Hackerman has been a "stabilizing support for the graduate to be a sensitive subject. The panel naval review. see Potter, page 8 programs. was privy to certain figures, but the see Self-Study, page V Who speaks for the Rice student? 1 IteWy, now tWat you ask me,* said Nice, very much confused, Regardless of the wisdom of her bringing up the subject of doM'ttlimk , Brown and Sid Richardson's eventual (?) neutering at one of "Ttewyou shouldn't yk/ President Hackerman's "notice how I am listening to student interrupted the Hatfcer. opinion" luncheons, Brown President Lisa Shambro has been {AUC/S A playing dubious politics in claiming that Rice's residential college presidents "pretty much" agree that the university would be more fun with exclusively single-sex colleges. Any such agreement must have been ephemeral and mock- wistful, for Shambro's statement when relayed by the Thresher to several college presidents was met with laughter. No, this isn't an editorial attempt to tease Lisa. Rather, it is a reflection on one of the disadvantages of the college system. Having eight voices to choose from, President Hackerman can choose among them for the one that best fits his current position on any issue. With student leadership fragmented and vacillating between conciliation with reservations and confrontation (for instance, Shambro vs. Will Rice President Peter Miller and others on the possibility of having a student observe Board of Governors meetings), little is accomplished of import. A petition here, a resolution there . . . and lots of luncheons. Sometimes the mixed signals to the administration are intentional. Despite complaining about the quality of student- athlete currently at Rice, Shambro declined in October to release to the Thresher SAT score statistics (not names, just abstract proportions) relating to the athletics controversy made available THE HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE TO THE HEDGES by Tom Morgan • to her; afraid, no doubt, that a precious monopoly of information Would you like to read a desperately need to rise to the top trying to bust poor hippies while would be violated. Most of the time, however, a seeming conservative column about drugs? of the corporate heap. I mean, if ' sex-craved corporate executive "consensus" among our student leaders is undercut when they Here it is, gentle reader, a column people weren't constantly asking rape the National Parks System, individually face authority. that you can take home to your me for drugs or associating my and so forth. parents for the Christmas name with drug abuse, I could Not only would the legalization Sure, its hard to be firm—even necessarily obdurate—when holidays. This is a column I would perhaps attend graduate school in of marijuana fill the federal coffers seated facing President Hackerman. President Hackerman has even be proud to show my parents, business management or run for a with cash, it would also decrease done great things for this university. Perhaps, even, he is correct (Yes, I have parents, and yes, they political office. violence and unhappiness. It is a about football at Rice. However, if the student leadership of Rice read my column.) Because I have now admitted my chemical fact that THC, the believes that Hackerman is wrong, dead wrong, it should be First of all, gentle reader, I do lust for power and money, I will psychoactive substance found in not know where you can buy state what I think is a wonderfully marijuana, defeats the production spending its time on more important things than question and crystal methamphetamine, conservative and realistic answer of testosterone. Testosterone answer sessions with the new head coach, a man who obviously dexedrine, or any other form of to the problem of the federal makes people do all sorts of nasty has not had enough time to take advantage of his free country club speed. For some reason, the entire deficit: legalization of marijuana, things like break out in pimples membership yet to talk in depth with the people who really physical universe thinks that I Literally billions of dollars are and rape poor, defenseless women, determine athletic policy. know where any given drug can be going up in smoke every year, and If more males smoked dope, they found at any given time. No, I Uncle Sam can't touch a penny of would be less violent. (I have seen Affirming who speaks for the students would be a good way to don't sell drugs. I have never sold it. You all know the statistics: many stoned people here and begin. The Presidents don't trust SA President Mark Meiches drugs, and I never intend to sell marijuana is the third largest cash there, and I have never seen a enough to let him represent Rice students to the Board, which drugs. (Although I wouldn't mind crop in the U.S. of A., the federal stoned person start a fight.) might be politically astute, since his office has traditionally been owning a run-down beer joint or government spends lots of money see Hitchhiker's, page 8 taken less than seriously. The perceived legitimacy of student liquor store). —WP—— You may think that this is a THE Christopher Ekren government on school-wide matters (as opposed to in-college superfluous argument; I mean, do > fc Editor ones, where presidents wield effective power) has been so eroded I really look like someone who TJrpSfBr T°dd A. Cornett in the past years that a school-wide referendum is deemed would sell drugs? I must admit that • U\ Business Manager necessary for most major issues. Christ, why did we elect these I have met one or two people who claim to have sold drugs in the P.ui Haviak, Dave coiiin. ....New. Editor, people? ° Ian Hersey Fine Arts Editor Christopher Ekren past, but I do not currently know Tony soitero sport. Editor anyone who admits to selling Jeanne Cooper, Tom Morgan Senior Editors drugs. Why do I think it is JayGrob Senior Editor, Copy Editor Missing: The Thresher Christmas editorial necessary ,« s...e this in public ! ^ V : VI /1'= ^ print. Hal Wiedeman Back Page Editor I state this because one of our ^ „ This is the space usually reserved for the Thresher Christmas . Jason Binford Advertising Manager editorial, which has been faithfully reprinted since 1959. CUStOmerS approached me this Chip Clay, Conrad Reining Photography Editors But, on the momentous eve of 1984, with all that it implies, we morning and asked me if I knew where she could find anything that contributing stair. break with tradition to broadcast a different holiday message. Not would "keep her awake between <— — simply Merry Christmas, nor simply Happy Chanukah (just now and Friday night." It was Graphics Ian Hersey, Lynn Lytton ended), nor simply a combination of the two in an effort to be non- obvious to me that this lovely Contributing Editors A1 Eynon, Jonathan Berk denominational. What we need now is not an absolute reliance on young lady desperately needed Ncw, Staff P.„y Cleary. David Fn the old beliefs. "Peace on earth to men of good will" is as desirable some help, but unfortunately I Snyder, Melissa Cox, Rebecca Monroy, Becky Basch, could offer her no aid. But why am Cheryl Smith, Scheleen Johnson, Brock Wagner, as ever, but no longer a believable proposition. I *u:„ James Greenlee III, Melissa Durbin, Earl Peterson, I boring you with this story? Shellna Shariff, Patty Baron, Ian Davidson The lights of the menorah, like the star on top of the Christmas It is a sad fact, gentle reader, but Fine Arts Staff Harry Wade, Devorah Knaff, tree, are eloquent symbols to the strength of human hope and our true, that every semester I have Geoff Spradley, Michael Manson, Kathryn Tomasek, , , ... .. Greg Holies, Theresa Brown, Carrie Blum, capacity for both wonder and gratitude. But, amid the glitter of attended this fine university at Vincent W. Uher, Karin Murphy, Cheryl Smith, Atari and the newest stripped-down American models, they have least three people have approached Wiggy Martin, Albert Throckmorton, Jennifer Cooper, me and asked where they could David s. Teager, Kathleen Robertson, R. Michael Hunt become only symbols, calling up no tears to the eyes or wellsprings Sport s,aff shen R,eke li Widner h e purchase "something to help them ' ' " ^°rt ^ u of heartfelt emotion. make it through finals." I have Production Staff Jeanne Cooper, Robyn KUthr We need to re-objectify these symbols, put them back into the never told these desperate folks world. And this process is not one so much of prayer as simple where to find speed, nor have I ever Business staff caring and conscientiousness. We do not need to save the enemy's known where they could truly find AflUlam Bu,ines, Manager Susan Brown some, but every semester I discover Assistant Advertising Manager David Koralek soul so much as we need to remember that he is, if not our literal the same phenomenon. And I Circulation Jay Grob, Tom Morgan brother, at least the sharer of our planet. . , , . , ./. Student Staff Assistant Mark Benningfield WOUldn t be surprised if the same Subscription Manager David Steffen, In the midst of the holiday feasting and festing, remember to thing happens again next semester.

express your care for others, whether through attending Normally, I WOUldn t let a little Tht nic( Thresher, the official student newspaper at Rice University since 1916, is published thing like this bother me, but I each Friday during the school year, except during examination periods and holidays, by the traditional religious services, visiting hospitals, or writing to your . •. .. . . , , studentsof Rice University. Editorial and business offices are located on the second floor of the mUSt admit that 1 harbor some Rlce Memorial Center, P.O. Box 1892, Houston, Texas 77251. Telephone (713) 527-4801 or Congressional representatives. Holidays, within the secularity vprv hncir mnti»riali«tir liropc and 527-4802. Advertising information available upon request Mail subscription rate: S20.00 very Dasic materialism* urges, ttUU domestic, $40.00 international, (via first class mail) The opinions expressed herein are not and tenuousness of the modern world, must be celebrated not only if people continue to pester me for necessarily those of anyone except the writer. Obviously in our hearts and holy places, but in the everyday world as well. drugs, I will never be able to *1983- Tht Rice Thresher A" r,ghls reservcd Deborah L. Knaff develop that clean-cut image I ^« The Rice Thresher, December 9, 1983, page 2 BEYOND THE HEDGES by Frances Egler

On Sunday, November 7, desire to live and eat together, because of this rule, some colleges Princeton marked the first sharing thoughts and trading have switched their efforts to You are the Thresher's Future anniversary of its new residential perspectives and provides a sense planning trips and de-emphasize college system. The school's of security in a seemingly parties. Fourteen Threshers have gone by since this paper's last orgy of newspaper, The Daily Princeton- intimidating place. Because of few Overall, the new college back-patting, but more is in order. Jeanne Cooper, Robert Stoy, ian, recently ran a series of articles upperclassmen being allowed to system, despite its obvious flaws, „ Paul Havlak, Dave Collins, Tony Soltero, Todd Cornett, Jason evaluating the system, which was live in the colleges and restrictions has been well-received and is very Binford, lan Hersey, David Koralek and Chip Clay (substitute the developed in 1978 by the on meal exchanges, the support popular with both students and rest of the staff box) have all been everything an editor could Committee on Undergraduate system has been hurt by the college administration. Stanley Katz, desire. If you, gentle reader, wish to see your name in an equally Living (CURL). The following system. master of Rockefeller College, incestuous editorial next May, please show up early next semester information is taken from that Many people feel that the TWC noting that interaction between at the Thresher office party. Building on the Thresher tradition of series. should be working harder to students has been greatly curtailed, excess, Mark Mitchell promises to show Rice what a party really The college system at Princeton overcome the problems posed by said it "was worth giving up to get is. Show up, if just for the free liquids—you may decide that you is centered around the freshmen the college system and stop what we have gotten. We're much like the people and never leave. and sophomore classes. They complaining. TWC officials feel better off." make up almost the entire their critics are expecting too population of the colleges, with much. only 30 upperclassmen permitted Derek Peake,'85, the TWC's BLOOM COUNTY by Berke Breathed to live in each college. The governance board director, notes ALAS..£M UNCE UIMIIM 5 UME GEMUMN. THE QUESTION is -JUC underclassmen, as a result, are the too that "the freshmen haven't JEST ABOUT "A SLACK, A MNWN. THIS: MM COMMENT EE M HEIuo 7 V£S MM. RIGHT ones most pleased with the system. been reaching out for help, either." TWO M M'A MIME: A SOUMN C6WP AS JUST A MEANINGS RIGHT- UH. OFFERS For freshmen, it "gives them a set He says that this "early apathy" has MI HAS B&N HUP AT CAMPAIGN JOKP.- OR WILL NEE SEEN THANKS 1HEJK HTAPQUATHTRS TO MONITOR M AS AN APPEAL ID NARROW - MORAL NNFL/LL.' of social contacts they can start frustrated efforts to keep inter- POUVCAL (WMGC- MMP E>IBORW MP SUPPORT. ' N/JKL with from which they can move EIITISM ? college minority relations going. MM' out," according to Butler College Peake thinks "a lot of freshmen «l Master Emory Elliot. He feels it is don't want to make waves. They W iSTV\ much easier under the new college don't want to join an organization system for freshmen to interact that threatens the role of the and meet other students than it was residential college." under the old dormitory system. Added another minority S The class that really seems to be student, "(CURL) may discourage benefitting from the new system is students from forming friendships the sophomore class. Because they OH M. MM 'S B&EN A POUVCPL HE 5HP A MP JOKE ANP m THAT'S uKE A WY WITHOUT NO, NO., M7 ms CAST WEEK'S GAG on a racial basis, and that's nice, UPS£T. IT THAT OUR VICE THCY NITPICKEP HIM OUT SUNSHINE ...OR A PEACH are the returning students the but it is shutting out the rest of the MSTD&TML CANPIPATC IS NOW WHICH l£AVES ME RUNNING; FOR WfTHOUT ITS PIT...OR...OP, WITHOUT A RUNNING MATE • HOW VICE PRESIDENT WITHOUT A JOHNNY CARSON WITHOUT freshmen have the greatest university community to do it." ? me CXFTCTLY, PIP THIS HAPPEN, SIR PRESIDENT. CAN YOU fMAGINC JOANNA / opportunity to meet, the Also feeling shut out after the SUCH A THING NITPICKING!! sophomores now have a definite first year of the new system are the NITPICKING THAT'S All. role at the university. Sophomores upperclassmen of Princeton. JUST NITPICKING. "help the freshmen (and) give them Junior Class President Bert a good idea of what's going to Conaway stated that "there are happen in the immediate future" only about 150 upperclassmen in said Mary Kessler, '84, a resident the five residential colleges adviser in Rockefeller College. combined. There is a very clear Most sophomores are happy separation." with the situation. "Sophomore Before the new system, year used to be like a limbo" said residential life at Princeton was a UH ACTUALLY OH PHOO NO... NO ITS m'tm MXMIME Catherine Colillo,'84, a Mathey regular dormitory system. HEY. "THIS THINK, IT'S AN ABC LOOKS UKE JUST THE b O'CLOCK POCUMENTSRY AN OLD NEWS I TH/NK MTMR i College R.A. Other benefits noted, Upperclassmen admit freshmen A WAR ON tf&ANON RAT fflTKOLTHOS E LOOK UKE MW Be «*«•; OO/MS/mSUCKEF!S especially from interviews with mav love the new system, but they THINK REAL CMtWC 15 FAKE eNJWN6lH!5 masters, were the personalization don't "know what it's like having lAUNCHER: or m... of administration-student relations juniors and seniors living on the and a center for freshman social life. same tloor with them," noted Steve a Dunne, '85, a Mathey College R. " tii But the new Princeton system A. J2 does have its problems. Its two The resident associates are the major detractors are the minority most accessible upperclassmen for groups and the upperclassmen the freshmen. But the upperclass- who do not live in the colleges. men feel they are missing out on OH G6W7L£MEN Minority groups on campus have vital information they received THINGS? SEEN R WONPEK IF YOU MIGHT A MIGHT 5L0W been wary of the system even since when they were freshmen, such as LOOK AFTER MY PLAHTB AROUNP HERE IT'LL I'LL BC 66AVING FOR THE its proposal. Most members of the informal facts about courses and LFMY, 0IMKLEY. PICK UP. minority community predicted it SOUTH RM THIS AFTEKMOON HOW AtWT social activities, because the new TO LOOJCFOR MY MOTHER THAT FOR A would undermine their well-being freshmen do not live in the dorms R ' THANK YOU PLOT TWIST 2 both immediately and in years with the upperclassmen. to come^ Interaction is also hampered by The Third World Center, restriction of meal exchanges Princeton's most active minority between colleges. Most upper- group, feels that the college system classmen belong to dining clubs, so greatly restricts relations between meeting at meals is very difficult. freshmen and upperclassmen. But inter-college parties are "Upperclassmen are very reported to be mobbed despite the important for all freshmen, but YOU'RE NOT UH... JEANS... new regulations against serving REA1XY GOING TO IN A HURRY/. 7765/.. WELL 1 MUST l/H... MORE 5PENP CHRISTMAS GOTTA RACK UH.., NEITHER especially for Third World alcohol at parties. Ifvan Kamal, THAT'S THE WORTS'. SAY... AllTHIS 50CK5... EXTKA PENGUINS PO THEV WEAR LOOKING FOR STHIKTS ... &OTIOIA OF SOCKS CAREFUL UNPIES .. OOF' students," said Joe Harris, '85, a chairman of the Mathey College YOUR MOTHER. JUST VO NOT CUMS THE WORLP PREPARATION \ 0OF PILLY PALLY member of the TWC. Council, feels this rule is going to IN TO ANTARCTIC.. YA KNOW IS IMPRESSIVE The TWC espouses the "support force people to make parties system," the subtle but strong "interesting" so people will attend bond that is expressed through the even if there is no bper. Also -i;

HNP SO ME GRCFIT "MOMERQVEBT 1^1 AU/IEVO/R IS UNPERWAY...FIRSTSTEP: 06T „ MM' FAR€WTU' TO M WESR COAST M OTKH A SHIP TV M 50M ATLANTIC.. '. CM.'' ROOPLT NOPRO&ICTA. ^~[/7 ^ R- APIEU' MI VOW QX VO0!5CM R-MFM MW mM WIU-SPtJ1" , GOOP COKWKWtW Alibi WOM'I HWU.51 u«5 TO06 Ol/ICAf. ANP HILL MET MI J HO PW.EST1HIAHS KLESflNIMtS ftl&TINUNS PWJSflNIAHS \ — visit© By visiter By visiter visited By M' THE ISRAELIS THE AtyBS THE LEBAHESE THEMSELVES The Rice Thresher, December 9, 1983, page 3 THRESHING IT OUT irrationality of throwing still more there is a ray of hope. The Provost Evaluations needed professors have nothing to do with Faculty-wide vote? of the endowment down a proven is on record as favoring faculty those kinds of decisions anyway. However, for that one most To the editor: rat hole? Or the hypocrisy of autonomy in this matter, its last after finals important day in the semester, Last year when Texas A&M talking about "scholar athletes" and most critical sphere. "If the To the editor: could you please provide us bought itself a Supercoach, we all while simultaneously scraping up curriculum is watered down," he Final exams are usually "lefties" with at least a table and laughed and heaped ridicule on the support in some dark corner of the told the Houston Post, "it will be representative of 20-40 percent of a chairs, or a few left-handed desks topsy-turvy cowboy millionaire university for new courses "with a watered down by the faculty, not student's final grade in Rice to write on? Perhaps you could values that prevail at A&M. Now more practical bent," such as "how the administrators or president." course. They are usually a teacher's allow us to change to nearby empty we discover that the same values to read a business invoice?" (Ibid.) I look forward to the way of focusing on and rooms in which we can write prevail at Rice. We too are subject (Houston Post, 24 Nov. 1983, p. faculty-wide vote on the new cumulatively testing a student over comfortably. It wouldn't even to the whims of wealthy men with 4c). Take your pick: both are football-friendly curriculum that what he has learned in the course violate the Honor Code, and we grandiose dreams of big-time beneath the dignity of a true these words so clearly imply. taught. wouldn't end up hunched over our football played by "scholar university. With this information at hand, I neighbor's test paper either. Thank athletes." The immediate question is who Thomas L. Haskell Department of History would greatly appreciate you for listening; we would Which is worse? The controls the curriculum. Here someone's explaining to me the appreciate the change. fairness behind filling out Julie Kemper evaluations before final exams? Baker '83 BLOOM COUNTY by Berke Breathed It seems to me that if a test is mi, WE'RE Fine, FINS/NOW mur AH..W0ULP YOU GET ME worth 20-40 percent of my grade in Marek claims AHOY' HEAPIN'THAT WAY, . SEWP OUT A PORTER !. PT£A5E, A BANANA CWIQU/RI - a course, then it should be IS THIS THE UTU (WIRS? /' Til JUST MANAGE . ANP SOME'CHEERES : contested by Webb OOF'. SOMEHOW.- OH, THIS IS GOING TO considered equally as worthy CRUISE SHIP F 70 ANTARCTICA °° ' am' BE AN APVENTWE' towards the "grade" of the teacher To the editor: and course. I wish to take issue with some In all fairness to teachers, comments made by Brian Marek courses, and students, wouldn't it in his interview published in the be more efficient to have November 11 Thresher. I did evaluations filled out immediately present Brian with five or six following the administration of a available groups for consideration final exam? This manner of as possible musical offerings, but practice would not only warrant a these were merely choices. He fairer judgement of the classes and readily agreed to booking three A CONFRONTATION VARIOUS PROTEST WE GOT teachers, but would also save the groups. I do not remember any OH STEWARD Wrffl SOVIET REALLY. ACTIONS AGAINST THE. (MKT. CARROT waste of an entire class period contention over whether to book WHAT'S ON THE WHAUNG SHIPS ANP OCEAN PUMPING OF NO SOME "LOVE BOAT." JUICE 7 (during regular class sessions) the three groups. SOCIAL AGENPA LATEK NUCLEAR WASTE. 5HI/FFLEE0ARP JUST GET ME FOR THIS AFTER A MARTINI. which is when most evaluations are I did convince him to book a NOON/ / I©. rr currently completed. Thanks. fourth group, but it must be Nancy Piotrowski remembered that he agreed to the Brown '85 contracts and signed them. I may TFILNDOTY have been persuasive, but he was a Kemper begs for very willing listener. There never was, to my recollection, a wait and comfortable seating see attitude for these concerts. I To the editor: could not and did not force him An open letter to our professors: into anything. Everyone's favorite time of year, I would also like to add that 06CCMW& ONE WITH OH OOP, n 15 SO THE WHALES. WU CAN (MCR£CIBC£. JUST WATCH ANYTHING.7 finals time, will soon be here, and Brian failed to check out the COMMUNICATE WITH 1UEM THE RESPONSE' OF "THAT SHE'S GURGUNG. some of your students have a small production costs before signing the tv/rAT THROUGH MUSC, YA KNOW. BIG FEMALE RIGHT 6EL0W US TKY SOME MAPHM ? I'M WING MY THESIS ON WHILE I PLAY THE "MOONLIGHT JACKSON BROWNE favor to ask: groups to a contract. If I (and he) IT. SONATA : OH If you have scheduled your final, had known the extent of these .. "THIS IS GREAT i'J will you please make sure that all costs, I would have suggested your students have a suitable place cheaper local groups. to take them? I am not physically As to my estimation of the handicapped, but I do have a great support on campus for these deal of physical (not to mention groups, from the very beginning I mental) difficulty writing those strongly recommend that any stressful exams, usually given in concert draw equally on students large seminar rooms with fixed and non-students and that all the row seating. Why? Because I am concerts be publicized three weeks wot... I MUST SAY .'THIS 7 left-handed, and not alone in this CRUISE HASN'T EXACTLY BEAN OH NO i'H.. WELL, I Refine? in advance because students would SEEN WHAT T OPECTEtfCURP ' TW ACTUALLY T LOVE SHREfW WOT cramped predicament, either. be unfamiliar with the groups and AT LEAST I CAN LOOKSHRE£V£ P WAS HOPING TOO/ yes... yes, m Earlier in the semester, I wrote to fORWARP TO A GOOPWHEAT . FOR A NICE jusr EAT SCRUMPTIOUS SUGAR . their music. The RPC failed to do GOURMET PIN STEAK 5HR£PV£C WHEAT the Thresher with the same desk this, and some members have even UH...WHAT'S NO PROBLEM complaint, cosigned by ten percent been hostile and counterpro- THIS ? of the students of my largest class ductive. It is almost as if they wish C who also happen to be left handed. to lose more of their organization's Now we realize that most changes money. come slowly to this university, I will conclude by urging people including such mundane items as to attend the last concert featuring getting furniture for the non- Malcolm Dalglish, Grey Larsen, handicapped, and also that see Threshing, page 5

EXCUSE ME FELLOW THIS CRUISE SEEMS TO 06 SHIPMATES...BUT I IWNPW, NOTHING BUT A BUNCH OF BEAN .GOOP HEAVENS' IF YOU MIGHT EXPLAIN JUST' CURP NIBBLES WALKING OF COJRTE ! WHAT THE PICKENS ft AROUNPTALKING TO WHALES WHY,.. YOU HI rfwmf JOING ON AROUNP HERE ANP PLANNING CONFRONTATIONS ARE... ARE... WITH NUKE WASTE PUMPERS . NO/ YES' NOW, JUST WHAT 15 fill... UH AIL. i w

u*

5o„.THING5 CMP LOOK d€TUR. BUT THEN, MAYBE THEKE IS M, THERE'S ONE RIGHT PIPflUN'AROUNP IN THE SOUTH WHALES ARE MMCVIO BE QUITE BOOH HOW/ OH, GO ON... SAY, If you are a creative person and ATLANTIC ANP NO SIGN OF A WTHER INT&LUC6NT... MP XNSNM,100 BREAK me ice.. 916 UPS - ANP WORSE, NO ONE AROUNP TO would like to work for the Thresher REALLY CONFINE IN... designing ads next semester, call Jason Binford at 527-4801 or 522-0105.

The Rice Thresher, December 9, 1983, page 4 Decade-old words that fell on deaf administration ears (This letter first appeared in the October 18, 1974 thousand total alumni, Rice must draw heavily from ridiculed, and usually no one talks to them about Rice Thresher. It is repeated because of its timeliness the general community. Third, of the eight schools anything but sports. Naturally they react with over a decade after President Hackerman and the with the most endowment dollars per student (1972), bitterness. As just one consequence of the problems Board of Governors first promised to "turn things only Rice supports major-college teams in they face, the football players are involved in half the around" and "do something" about Rice's poor basketball, football, track, and baseball. Honor Council cases, although they are roughly ten showing in football.) In fact, there are only two private universities in percent of the student body. We've left out those To the editor: America that can even field strong teams in more academic problems they face; you can check those The Self-Study report has come out and its than one major sport: Notre Dame is unique because figures in the Self-Study report. appearance prompts this letter. After studying the of its tremendous tradition and its Irish and Catholic There is a possible alternative to keeping or report and its source documents, we have reached a group identification. USC is unlike Rice in that Los dropping all our intercollegiate sports, although conclusion we think everyone interested in Rice's Angeles is a tremendously lucrative sports we're not sure of its feasibility. We could choose to future should consider. market(much more than Houston) and USC alumni phase out football and all other sports and pursue We believe that Rice should either drop tend to settle in Los Angeles. Rice is also the smallest just basketball on a big-time level. Club sports, such intercollegiate athletics or consider pursuing only school in the country playing big-time football. as the present soccer, rugby, volleyball, could major-college basketball a la Marquette, Oral Another supposed value of the program is continue as they are, as would the Health & Phys. Ed Roberts, Providence, and certain other small private publicity. However, Johns Hopkins, MIT, CalTech, Department and the gym. Pursuing only basketball universities. This is a very emotional issue, and those and so forth don't need to pursue this kind of would require our dropping out of the Southwest concerned, whether for or against athletics, tend not publicity. Perhaps if we dedicated our limited Conference. It would entail a large initial investment to listen to any discussion. But the issue is sufficiently resources to academic excellence we would not need in renovating Autry Court. Alternatively, we could important for all to consider the arguments for both to pursue this kind either. We also believe that our play our home games in the Houston Civic sides. admissions problems would be better solved by Auditorium scheduled for completion by the 1975-76 What are the usual arguments for supporting big- diverting into academics some of the funds we would basketball season. time (NCAA Divsion I) athletics in all the sports we save by dropping major-college sports. Either way, we would face a continuing investment follow? First, there's the hope of earning money for There is one last argument for the Athletic in a much greater basketball recruiting budget, and the university. However, from 1971-73, the Athletic Department as the way it now stands: it provides a whether our overall investment in basketball would Department lost $450,000 yearly (if net tuition free education. But if we want to provide subsidized be returned in such a case we can't say for sure. income at the average rate for all the students is education, why can't the money go directly to the Even without a football team, we could continue included; see p. 184, AAC section, Self-Study Financial Aid Office? We would thereby save the to rent the stadium for high school and perhaps report.) overhead of numerous coaches' salaries. A similar college games. Thus our investment in the stadium The counter-argument is that with winning teams, reply can be made to the argument that our sports would not be wasted. Finally, the Texas Medical Rice would make money. On the contrary, the bring us a more balanced student body: direct the Center is desperate for parking space, and perhaps examples of Oklahoma University (Sports money into minority and financial aid. we should pursue renting a large section of the Illustrated, 4/1/74, p.20), and the University of However, we think the biggest reasons that Rice stadium lot during busines hours as a TMC satellite Tennessee, which have very successful teams, show continues to support our level of athletics despite lot. us "how close to financial thin ice even major athletic financial problems is people simply like having a Of course there are disadvantages to phasing out pov&rs with lush TV revenues are skating these days" team to cheer. This seems to us to be a question of sports. For instance, who would not miss the MOB? (Council of Higher Education, 10/9/72, p. 3). values, and we value a rigorous Rice University more But helping Rice be a place of ideas, and of growth — The NCAA is changing its rules in an effort to save than we value competing athletically with UH and to us that means much more. By breaking with a its members money, but we argue that 1) these UT. tradition that is now hurting us, we could so help changes will save Rice relatively little, 2) we will face We have one last reason for dropping our present Rice. Please consider it. the same stiff pro competition, and 3) the profit-loss athletic program — a reason that is difficult to Brian Kirkpatrick column is not the only criterion by which the value of discuss. Despite the many fine young men who come Nancy Boothe Parker the Athletic Department is to be judged, albeit an each year to get an education and play football, the Neil Havens important one. realities of big-time football are such that most of the Stanley M. Besen Before we leave the subject of money, let us make a teams's members remain apart. The athletes not in M. Lea Rudee few more points. First, since 1968 Rice has dropped football fit in much better; football contains certain from 22nd to 89th in average faculty compensation, inherent problems. (As you can see, things haven't changed. The Board and in 1973 the faculty received no pay raise. Second, Even those who sincerely want to be involved in of Governors still glosses over Honor Council we face increasing competition in Houston for future the Rice community aren't given a decent chance: violations, football athletes are still a caste apart and entertainment dollars, and with only twenty they're usually treated as children, isolated, student opinion is still discounted.) THRESHING IT OUT continued from page 4 submissions are of course jnay have, and, most importantly, this: Crystal Gale was doing streams of blue beatles raining and Pete Sutherland on Friday, welcome. Submit anything 3) by WRITING, GRAPHICK- Detroit of all places, same night as down and they hit BB and BB's December 9 at 9 p.m. in Hamman creative and good in the way of ING, and PHOTOGRAPHING. BB. BB had just arrived from a windshield and BB's bald black Hall. Tickets are just $3. The music stories, poems, photos, and Send us your stuff. And while conversation with Tom, who saw a head and streamed, but he knew is excellently played and well graphics by January 31, 1984. Use you're at it, support the other vision through the camellias cause Tom told him so that's how worth the ticket price. Remember a pseudonym and attach your real efforts at literary activity, the Will Crystal he thought, nearly Crystal found out, by the that college is one of the few places name in a sealed envelope (to Rice «Phoenix, for example. That upsetting der sahusblitz. Crystal grapevine you might say. Grapes, life where one has the insure impartiality). No, we cannot is, after all, the whole idea of The Crystal he saw a blue a spot it you know? So Crystal thought that opportunity to try something new pay for your work except with an University Blue: to promote spilled flat then spread three feet of was nice. BB and Crystal are good and different; please don't waste audience, which ain't so bad. literary activity and community at it blue like taffeta rising and it friends. Blood Grapes Sky Tears the chance. Be open-minded. If you are interested in working Rice, and to give all of you closet enveloped his head and it was a Eyes Cars Alumni Football Rice Matthew Webb on the magazine you should call or Kafkas, Hemmingways, Michen- space helmet and he blasted into Rice Rice. That's real emotion. Wiess '84 write me at the English ers, Sheldons, and Seusses (and the sky and he cried like a beatle, That's The University Blue. Department to let me know who Goyas and Warhols and Adamses) Blood, Grapes, Sky and where you are. The magazine a place to send your Art. needs your interest, and that of the Merry Christmas, and God bless BURKE BAKER PLANETARIUM Tears, Eyes, Cars student body, if it is to last beyond you every one. To the editor: next semester. Our manpower Scott Flukinger NOV. 25th THRU DEC. 31st A few words about The needs, however, are limited to the The University Blue University Blue (the literary typesetters who will be mobilized P.S. About the name. It's like "CHRISTMAS magazine) for all those who have at production time sometime in written or asked or wondered. late January/early February. STAR" The Universitry Blue accepts Otherwise there just isn't much PREGNANT.. Wed. & Fri. 4 p.m. contributors from all parts of the to do except support The Sat. & Sun. 2, 3, & 4 p.m. Rice community. Interpret this University Blue 1) by saying nice NEED HELP? Fri. Eves 8 p.m. creatively if you are not certain things about it, 2) by writing or Call for SPECIAL HOUDAY SHOW TIMES FREE Testing & Abortion where you fit in. Gnome calling me about any ideas you Counseling. No appointment. Admission $2.00 Children under 12, $1.00 10 a.m. til 2 p.m. Mon.-Sat. No Admittance After Show COLLEGIATE CLEANERS Begins Students 10% Discount on 552-1512 Drycleaning and Alterations Crisis Pregnancy Houston Museum of Natural Science 2430 Rice Blvd. 523-5887 Center Straight up the street in the village 4848 Guiton, Ste 201 526-4273 (inside Loop 610 '« Richmond)

The Rice Thresher, December 9, 1983, page 5 Brown pledges to be a good boy, promote academics continued from page I or two top-flight quarterbacks to players and coaches to guide the the audience suggested a meeting occupant of the latter position, hopeless." fuel a new, pass-happy offense. players toward fulfilling their to discuss the disproportionate which will be a new office in the "I don't think there is an easy At the mention of the prospects potential. "I'm gonna love 'em to number of cases involving athletic department, will remain at' job," Brown replied. "It's just for new facilities, Brown had death. I'm gonna make them do scholarship athletes. Rice and assign recruiters to something that you feel. I like this nothing but good news. "We can things the right way, do things with "When one player screws up, various locales around the kind of background to work in, expect a lot of improvements to the class, and if they don't, I'm gonna he's hurting the other 94, because country. Brown himself will spend like at Stanford or Vanderbilt. But stadium, and there will be a new get after their fannies," he football players are in the public some time on the road in the spring I don't think the football program weight room for the team, which declared, mindful of the mixed eye so much," Brown said. He searching for scholar-athletes and is something we can turn around you all know we need," he company. assumed that previous coach Ray prospective coaches. overnight." reported. "We'll be getting the On the subject of "the right Albom did not encourage his As a measure of his faith in his According to Brown, the weight room this spring. In the way," Brown affirmed his whole- charges to cheat in classes. role at Rice, Brown stated, "I student body should assist in stadium, we'll be getting some hearted support of Rice's Honor Finally, Brown announced his wouldn't put a six-year-old creating an environment better seats, new turf — the turf Council and Honor Code. "I like agenda for the spring semester. He daughter and a loving wife on the comfortable to football players. has been there a long time — and it, and I plan to meet with it," he still must hire one assistant coach line if I didn't believe we could do This kind of environment, he said, improvements to the press box." said of the Council. A member of and a recruiting coordinator. The it." would help him in his job. "It's a In addition to recruiting top two-way street. Students should be scholar-athletes, Brown plans to proud of their football players, and Presidents debate coed vs. single-sex adapt the program to accomodate continued from page 1 football players should be proud of no coed colleges. You'd have to space in coed buildings. There is no the needs of the players as flexibly Shambro disagreed, expressing their school." change from admitting people for longer enough space to as possible. "When I played at her concern for the preservation of Asked what he thought would what they are to admitting people accomodate their requests. He Vanderbilt, I went through single-sex colleges. "The be a reasonable goal for his term at based on where they could fill up predicted that the two remaining afternoon labs, and we'd have presidents at the luncheon pretty Rice, Brown answered that he space." Rice's undergraduate ratio single-sex buildings will convert practice at night," he recalled. "If much unanimously agreed that the plans, first, to begin winning of the genders stands at around within a few years. necessary, if a player wants to be a university would be more fun it it games again by exhorting his three men for every two women, a science major, we'll do that." were all single-sex colleges. Now I Asked to comment on the issue, players to "believe in themselves difficult ratio to distribute evenly Brown stated several times, in see it just getting boring. Dr. 'Bernard Aresu, master of and play for the university." He among eight sexually segregated response to the students' "Also, when you have single-sex Brown College, preferred not to stressed that great accomplish- colleges. questions, that football players colleges," Shambro continued, "it respond until the situation ments are possible in college should not remain isolated from makes people get out into the rest "Coed colleges have worked out becomes more concrete. "To the football. "When I got to the rest of the community. "I won't of the university to meet people. well," Shirocky commented. "They best of my knowledge, it is only a Vanderbilt (as a quarterback take anyone away from anything," Now the colleges have become do have certain drawbacks, in that rumor," he told the Thresher. He coach), we were 0-11. Next year, 0- such as orientation week, tutorials, more introverted. Single-sex people tend to stay in their further asserted that Brown is i 1, then 4-7, then the next year we and special lectures, he said. fosters college spirit and school colleges. Single-sex does facilitate "doing beautiful now" as a single- went to the Hall of Fame Bowl." "If a player's coming just to play spirit." a kind of interaction between the sex college, and the possibility of Brown credited the success at football," Brown went on, "he Lovett College President Tom colleges. As far as how well they converting is "much too complex Vanderbilt to a shift in favor of a won't come here. Why do I want to Shirocky denied that all the work, it seems that Brown and Sid an issue to address at this time." quarterback-oriented offense. bring in a guy who's gonna flunk presidents long for a return to are socially hurt: other colleges "Passing the football can be an That Rice will have eight coed out? If I do that, I lose twice. I get a sexual segregation. Given the tend to avoid them and say, 'Let equalizer. A team like Rice can't colleges is not impossible. The football player who can't keep up choice between eight mixed Sid and Brown do it together.'" push back a team like Texas, but current consensus, however, holds in his classes, and then he flunks colleges and none, he would opt Shirocky noted that the subject they can pass against them and that the conversion process for out, and I don't have a player." for the former, he said. "Given the was brought out at the luncheon have a chance to win." He Brown and Richardson is a distant Another of Brown's ambitions is current ratio of guys to girls, it due to the increasing number of mentioned the plan to recruit one prospect. close communication between would certainly not work to have new students requesting living THRESHING IT OUT To the editor: Texas State offers a more diverse Basically, 1 think it sucks that as some of the others are around concerning some of the issues that Well, the time has finally come business curriculum than we do these people are so classless that here. After all, we're supposed to everyone else within this university for one of the lowly, non- (and believe me, they do) then these are the types of comments be less intelligent. If we're going to has had due opportunity to intellectual neanderthals of the something's gone wrong around that they have been reduced to have an Honor System around comment publicly on. What I sporting scene at Rice to comment here. If we are going to offer a making. Obviously this reflects the here let's go ahead and do it right. want is some equal time. Since the on the recent agression concerning business major, why not make it fine academic standards here at Let's make sure that we all put our Thresher is supposed to be a the football porogram here. the best available? I don't think this Rice and the fine, intellectual books and notes at the front of a newspaper I expect to get it. Christ, I hardly know where to question has anything to do with minds that may be found here." If I classroom during tests. Let's make Scott McLaughlin begin. downgrading academics here at were a non-athlete and a student sure that the faculty does their part WRC One thing's for sure, "aggression" Rice. If we're going to do anything here I would be embarrassed about in upholding the Honor Code. is the proper word to characterize at this school, we ought to be the remarks such as these. And let's try and phase out some of Although Mr. McLaughlin's what's been going on around here. best that we can be at it. The members of the Honor the obvious discrimination against letter arrived two days after the I'm surprised that no one has been In the last couple of weeks I have Council have recently had an awful athletes that is no doubt taking deadline for the final Thresher of burning effigies of us yet. First, I spent a lot of time reading the lot to say about how athletes place using the Honor Code as its the year, it was run at the expense should mention that my views Thresher (a real glutton for completely disregard it and how shield. of other letters since itAs the first concerning the situation in no way punishment, that's me) and the we detract from its standards. The I could type for hours in regard letter on the subject of athletics reflect those of the entire football comments in it made against the Honor Council has consistently to this subject but I have more written by an athlete to the team, or the remainder of the athletes (mostly us football "produced" evidence that athletes important things to do. However, I Thresher. athletic community for that players). A typical example of cheat more than other students. don't think that we (as athletes) The Thresher has published pro- matter. However, I'm sure that these comments can be found in Why don't we all amend that should let this issue alone any football articles, columns and many of my fellow student-athletes the "Misclass" section of the Dec. statement and say that athletes get longer. I am fed up with some of letters by, among others: Steve would probably agree with most of 2 Thresher. We are referred to as caught more than other students. the ignorant comments that I have Mollenkamp, Jonathan Sadow, what I have to say. "overgrown oafs" who might Do you suppose (oh God this just been reading and hearing. I think "R" Association President Lew Personally I feel that some "blatantly accept loads of couldn't be true) that the members that it's time that the athletes here Harpold and Greg Vint. The changes in curriculum concerning lightened schooling." Recently of the student body and the faculty were given equal time in the Thresher has welcomed contribu- the business courses here would be there have been a lot of pepole who here might just spend a lot more Thresher. tions related to the athletics advantageous to the entire school. have found it necessary to express time trying to catch athletes Since the Thresher is obviously controversy, has covered the major When a school such as Southwest themselves in this manner. cheating than they do other not going to take the initiative, to it events involved (including open students? (gasp!) I present a challenge. Interview forums of both faculty and So we get caught at it more. me. Hold an athletic forum on students) and specifically RESEARCH ASSISTANTS Maybe we're just not as good at it athletics. Hold an athletic forum requested submissions from all points of view in its October 28 Bachelor's degree in one of the basic sciences and experience in one or more of the following techniques. LIVE, STUDY & WORK ABROAD

Column Chromotography Electrophoresis London Germany Enzyme Purification Ultra Centrifugation Creative Science Radioisotopes Isolation of Platelets *8 Writing German Tissue Culture Biochemical Assays Theatre History Enzyme Kinetics Small Animal Surgery Psychology Politics Blood Gas Analysis Small Animal Handling o British Studies We offer an excellent benefits package. For more information contact Larry Davis at 792-4250. For more information, write Antioch International The University of Texas Health Science Center at Box 100 644-9253 Houston, 1100 Holcombe Blvd., Suite 100 Antioch University 8432 Winkler Yellow Springs, OH 45387 OPEN "An Equal Opportunity Employer" § 7 DAYS A WEEK

The Rice Thresher, December 9, 1983, page 6 Rice champions: S-E news editor gets in final computer article by Pay Havlak since 1980 to become eligible for be good," said Chase. Said Rigney, terminal connected to a Honeywell team with the most correct Name a Rice team which has nationals. In 1981 Owl hackers "Randy just said to me, 'Do you CP/6 computer. They were then solutions wins. If two teams have placed in its region for each of the took second in the nation, and want to be on the programming given five problems and four hours the same number right, then the last five years (and in previous though last year they did not place, team? And I said, 'Yes.' and then to solve them. team which took the least time is years as well) and has recently the team brought back to Houston he said, 'You're on.'" Though some teams sat down as ranked higher. A team may test placed second in the nation. (Hint: the award for programming run their programs as often as they it's not football.) Give up? One excellence, which is presented on want (time permitting) before such team, perhaps the only one, is the basis of style. submitting it for judging. The the Rice programming team. The Association for Computing judged run, on unseen data and On November 12, four Rice Machinery, a professional producing output not disclosed to students won the Southwest organization for computer the hackers, results in either a Regional Programming Confer- scientists, sponsors the contest, "correct" or "incorrect" verdict, the ence competition, held at Stephen and the national meet will be held latter resulting in a time penalty. F. Austin State University in in conjunction with their national Said Rigney, "There wasn't Nacogdoches. Team members convention, said team organizer enough time to do all five Dave Johnson, David Chase, and nominal coach Randy Allen. programs, especially considering William LeFebvre (computer According to Allen, a senior the terrible turnaround time on science graduate students) and research associate in computer runs." The contest-induced load Brandon Rigney (Baker'86) solved science, general knowledge is a on SFA's system, Rigney two of the five problems posed at major part of what it takes to do estimated, was greater than any it the contest, and in less time than well in the contest. "The problems £ would have seen during a class. the Texas A&M team took to solve they ask are pretty wide-ranging. If not for problems with the the same number. Only one other The other important thing is to computer system, said Johnson, team, that from UT-Arlington, really be able to think quick on "We would have solved one more solved any of the problems at all. your feet and translate your problem." The second program By defeating teams from 40 thought into a computer Rice's computer team with furry assistants which he attempted, involving universities in Texas, Louisiana, language." Another essential manipulation of large sequences of Arkansas and Oklahoma requirement, he added, is that at Johnson and Lefebvre were a group and tried to program their numbers, was almost completed, (actually, the trophy is only for least one person on the team be asked to join less than a week solutions in a sort of "democratic" but an attempt to obtain the Division I, but Rice had the able to type fast. before the contest. Johnson went effort, our hackers each grabbed a output from a printer (so as not to highest score in both divisions) the Selection of the team members to the contest because "I had problem and went at it. tie up the terminal on which his four qualified for the national was not particularly methodical, nothing else to do that weekend," Johnson remarked, "They gave teammates were busily typing in contest, to be held in Philadelphia those chosen basically being he said. their solutions) resulted in a large in February. us one table and two chairs per "people who could go and wanted Although such a selection team. There really wasn't enough delay. Half an hour after the job This is the fourth Rice team to go, people that were supposed to method might not work for the workspace." His solution was to was submitted, there was still no formation of an award-winning take his first problem, an example output, and only 15 minutes were Athletes speak out on football football team, it resulted in a well- of "reverse engineering," down the left in the contest time limit. rounded squad to represent Rice. hall into a less crowded room to Johnson then ran the program issue at forum for film class work on. on the terminal and submitted it Whereas some teams at the for a judged run. By the time the by Becky Basch the current program. "They embedded all the contest relied on enormous stacks results of that run were returned, Though the students attending Patterson added that the rise problems in really 'cute' scenarios, of reference books, our barefoot the contest was over. He didn't get Monday's open forum on the Rice from 40 to 90 member squads since I guess to make it amusing," heros depended on their stuffed credit for the answer, probably football progam were few in the 1960's to field a team also Johnson recalled. The task before animals for psychological and because of a possible mistake that number, many presented a presents a greater need for him, entitled "Space Turkey," was intellectual support. According to he made in the JCL (Job Control valuable side of the issue — that of recruiting and directing of money, to find a way to recover crew chase, "The animals did all the Language) , commands for the players themselves. Philosophy already existing from profits and members of the Starship hard stuff, and we were just the submitting the judged run, making Professor Mark Kulstad alumni donations, toward Enterprise whose molecules had secretarial staff." The only other the input file look like an empty moderated the forum. scholarships. Many players felt been scrambled by the transporter aids accompanying Chase were file. optimistic that newly appointed Too Late the Phalarope (a tragedy in a precisely defined way. "It LeFebvre's problem, described Many members of the audience coach Watson Brown will improve set in South Africa during that turned out to be simple," he by Chase as "picky shit," involved expressed their concern for the recruiting. bygone era in which there were no modestly remarked. reading in information about a large gap between circles of Gary Butler, a team member, pocket calculators) and a reference sequence of bowling sets and athletes and non-athletes. This stated that he felt that once the card on FORTRAN syntax. As a Johnson and Chase solved their printing out the scores in a certain isolation is both a cause and a team improves and wins more whole, he said, the team took very original problems (which format. "It was so long (three result of many of the negative games, students will give more few books. happened to be the shortest at pages) that there wasn't enough feelings and much of the support, and recruiting will under a page of code apiece) time to type it all in and get it misinformation about the become easier. Until them, Asked if assistance from furry around the halfway point of the working." commented LeFebvre. program and its participants, they Patterson and others feel confident friends was kosher, Chase replied, contest. The problems attempted opined. Wiess College member that the football program is "It doesn't say anything about by LeFebvre and Rigney turned Richard Harris observed, "(Many) moving in a good direction, one them in the rules " out to be much longer. "Chase and students are under the impression that will please faculty, students, As the contest began, said I got ones that were solvable in real that athletes can't meet academic and alumni. Rigney, "We were herded in there time. The others really didn't get a chance at the terminal." noted standards." Sherry Wyatt and Jon and given some instructions, then Johnson. Vanderpool, members of a film given an hour to get familiar with One team member agreed that class, filmed the forum as part of a the machine." Each team had one Under the contest's rules, the although a few players probably project that, hopes Wyatt, "will do not belong in an institution as bring to light all sides of the academically competitive as Rice, controversy." The students there is a general misconception encourage anyone wishing to that because a student is an athlete express opinions on film to contact he is incapable of handling Rice's OFF ANYLARGE- them (Wyatt at 630-8272, $2.00 curriculum. Brian Patterson, a Vanderpool at 630-8915). senior member of the team, refuted this misconception by giving OFF ANY MEDIUM- examples of several graduates $1.50 from the team who are currently OFF ANY SMALL- attending law schools or working for banks and large corporations. $1.00 THICK OR THIN Many of the students — both athletes and non-athletes — agreed FLIGHT DEEP DISH PIZZA on the need for greater support INSTRUCTION oo among students and faculty in AND RENTALS order to improve the situation. By Airline Pilot ro Some suggested that overall desire High Quality At Low Rates for improvement could inspire the n HAIR SALON administration to provide needed 772-5072 PIZZA r- 0 (/> hair cutting for men and women funding to alleviate weaknesses in 4l perms • color, make up HOTLINE w 526-9780 'EL 2437 University Blvd CHICAGO PIZZA X In theVillage 52? 2 350 Mode Magazine Conducting Model Search In Houston Seeking Attractive People 16 to 25 Balanced Weight Not Valid With Any Other Offer Manicures and Arrd Strong Desire To Be A Model. Call 781-3191. 4100 Mandell Between Richmond & W. Alabama Pedicures

HHHUIHHtlHHinUHUIItHHIiniliinitnilHtlilHIUUHmtHllinUUttilimilltillliliiiiililii] The Rice Thresher, December 9, 1983, page 7 The following students were elected to Phi Beta Kappa at the November 7, 1983 meeting of the Beta of Texa* Chapter. Nunc College Major Math = reality — sometimes Garrett Trent Biehle Lovett Physics/Chemistry Catherine Elizabeth Eggert Hanszen English by Eric Stubee making the previously used F'icharo K. Glabach Lovett Human Physiology assumption that the collapsing James S. Ignowski Lovett Electrical Engineering/ Econ The first lecture in the 1983-84 object would be symmetrical), he Mary Kay Kramer Brown Chemical Engineering Provost's lectures was given Robert Kwok Baker Biochemistry Wednesday afternoon by Dr. found his earlier work invaluable. Scott David Luning Hanszen Physics Roger Penrose. His talk, entitled Furthermore, the theory of Laurie Joyce Mango Baker Electrical Engineering "Mathematical Research in the twistors, which Penrose Randall Dean Marshall Richardson Psychology Real World," attempted to formulated in attempting to find Brian David McMinn Wiess Electrical Engineering describe what it means to be a an alternative geometry for Christina Maria Prueger Brown Biology mathematician in terms that a looking at space and time, proved Stephen M. Sokolyk Wiess Biology,/German layman could understand. to be useful in describing rotating H. Bradley Southern Wiess Economics/Managerial Studies black holes. Penrose concluded, Penrose, a well-known "It's very important that people mathematician and theoretical should be able to follow the ideas THE THRESHER INTERVIEW physicist, holds the Edgar Odell that they think are interesting to Lovett chair in mathematics. He follow, and not worry about any The Thresher asked 5/4 the $1.2 million figure (often cited also occupies the Rouse Ball kind of practical application." President Mark Meiches and as Watson's salary) includes TV professorship at Oxford Brown College President Lisa and that kind of thing, and the base University in England. Another topic Penrose discussed was the relationship Dr. Roger Penrose —C. Clay Shambro how they felt about the salary is around what Alborn is Penrose began by giving two between math and the "real reportedly six-figure contract Rice making. If the additional benefits amusing examples of what world." He stated, "Some has signed with its new football are from TV, then that's ok. mathematicians don't do and don't the unification of classical and mathematical ideas are more coach, Watson Brown. The benefit with hiring this care to do: tedious arithmetic and quantum theory. relevant than others in physics — it Here are their remarks, in coach is that he is interested in calculus computations. He then is amazing that when you get it somewhat condensed version. getting student athletes; interested lauched into his discussion of what right it really seems to work Meiches: It's hard to say if the in recruiting nationwide. He has mathematicians do do, or more incredibly well." However, we can Potter... money can be put to a better use in contacts and recruiting practices specifically, what he does, drawing never really know for certain continued from page I the academic departments or that will be useful. I feel that he will on a number of interesting which mathematical ideas are influence" and has performed well elsewhere in the university. In will strengthen the athletic experiences from his career in relevant to science. as president. many cases we need several million program. An additional $30,000 a mathematics. dollars, not just one. year base salary is worth the For example, at one time Potter cited the fact that his job The athletic department will benefits we would get from having For instance, when he first went complex numbers were not has become "too routine" in have to be careful not to cut other nationwide recruiting and away to college, he discovered that thought to have any actual explaining his sudden retirement. programs, like women's sports, recruiting scholarship athletes. everyone thinks differently. The existence; they simply kept He added, "I've enjoyed my years while increasing the budget for Having witnessed him and way Penrose thinks is geometric- recurring in mathematical theory. and made quite a few friends in the football. hearing him answer questions at ally — he finds that geometry can "If people tried to make them not faculty." He plans to take it easy What strikes me most is that the S A meeting I'm not sure he will often be very useful in explaining exist they just kept bouncing back and "try not to run my wife crazy." several years ago when A&M hired fill this position. I think his things that seem completely up again." Gradually, complex According to Robin Hall, an Jackie Sherrill and was being paid effectiveness with recruiting is nongeometrical. numbers began to be used in accounting clerk who has worked more than the president of A&M, admirable. But I asked a number Another point Penrose describing some physical systems, with him for two years, Potter is "a we scoffed at them. Now we are of questions about academics, discussed was the role of but they still were not really great guy." She commented, "I'm hiring a coach, and if the salary none of which he answered serendipity in mathematical accepted. going to miss him a lot." reports 1 hear about Brown and adequately. research. There are "a lot of veiy But finally, quantum theory, Patty Ciampi, from the accounts Hackerman are correct, he'll be There's also a comment he made fluky things that seem to happen." based on complex numbers, receivable section of the making more than Hackerman. which upsets me, and I think I'm For instance, he once wrote a confirmed their "real" existence. In comptroller's department, will There's something wrong with quoting directly, "I will do paper on general relativity, setting the case of complex numbers, take over the cashier's position in that in my mind. anything I can to help my boys." forth a number of assumptions on objects which seemed purely January. I don't know if it was really I think the new coach is worth it which he based his argument. One theoretical turned out to have real necessary to set such a salary for a except for his policy on academics of the assumptions seemed existence in the physical world. new coach. I would hate to see Rice for athletes. derivable from the others, so he Therefore, "You have this HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE offering that sum to anyone, and I If he stays more than a couple df spent a great deal of time and effort mathematical theory and you have would hate to see us hiring this guy years he might accomplish a lot, proving the relationship. the real world — fitting them So, gentle reader, it you would if that (the reported SI.2 million, 6- but since he left Cincinnati after a From a practical viewpoint, this together is the puzzle." stop asking me for drugs, I could year contract) is what he asked for. couple of years on a five-yeai achieved nothing — the Finally, Penrose concluded his start my campaign to legalize It's a hefty sum to give to a football contract who can say? assumption in question was readily lecture with a little speculation marijuana, and the world would be coach at any university. I think Our budget (for the residential obtained from physical consider- concerning the physical nature of a better place. Please think about there's confusion between what colleges) could use $30,000 a yeai ation. However, later when human thought. He would like to it. our priorities are and what they or so, but if the alums want to Penrose was attempting to believe that there is something Not incidentally, if anyone is should be. spend the money on a coach that's describe the collapse of a massive special about humans (and human interested in taking a trip to the Shambro: I think that first of all, fine. star into a black hole, (without mathematicians) that sets them sunny Copper Canyon in northern above computers. In other words, Mexico, please contact me. We Penrose feels that the human mind will take the train from El Paso to cannot be mimicked by a computer Chihuahua, and then we shall — that it may make use of a backpack for seven or eight days in different kind of physics — a a canyon larger than the Grand physics which has not been Canyon. The total cost should be Opportunities discovered yet but will result from less than $200. for December Graduates $24,000. Immediate positions available tor Construction Manage- ment Trainees. Brighton Homes is offering tough-minded, aggressive individuals the opportunity to learn construction from the ground up through the most effective means available . . . ON THE .JOB TRAINING.

QUALIFICATION REQUIREMENTS: * recent 1 year degree * proven academic excellence * determination to be the best * not afraid of long hours * take charge attitude LOST DOG * ability to get the job done where others fail $500 REWARD !! Send resume to: For return or information leading to recovery. No 2415 Mangum — Suite 150 ( BrigGHTOh N questions asked. Buckskin brown with white chest. Houston, Texas 77092 H (\ M Scar on stomach. Call (713) 520-6258, 24 hours. building with your future in mind. EOE, M/F Looks like photo above.

The Rice Thresher, December 9, 1983, page 8 THE THRESHER INTERVIEW

Thresher reporter Earl Peterson pay. providing the money for the university. I personally question position that we're in right now. asked Professors Alan Grob, Rorschach: I think that it is too academic side of the university. whether or not a (very good coach) I think (Watson Brown) has Robert Stein, Harold Rorschach, much to pay for that kind of Wilson: First you have to could take a football program at done exactly what he should have Bill Wilson and George Pharr activity, especially in view of the understand where all the money's Rice and turn it around, and I'm done, he had an opportunity to about their opinions on the new fact that I think that it is very coming from ... I don't really not convinced that even one of the work himself into the SWC, a football coach's reported salary. unlikely to be successful. It's hard know. I guess we've got to be best could. Watson Brown may be more major conference than he is Here are their replies: to criticize one single thing. I know careful, because everything you one of the best, I really don't know in at the University of Cincinnati, Grob: Well, 1 suppose that I feel that that money comes from say about salary is conjecture, that much about him. I'm not and there is real potential for him, that it could be better spent on sources who would perhaps not nobody knows what he is being convinced that he can turn the particularly if he can do something other purposes. 1 can't assess what give their money for anything else paid for sure. So everything I am program around at this school. I with the team. I'm going to kind of coach he will make and at Rice University and so it comes saying will be based upon question whether or not five years withhold judgement on whether he people who were involved with the from them and they can turn it conjecture and what I've read. from now we won't be in the same will do it or not. committee seemed impressed with over to the athletics program, and (Part of it) is coming from donors his qualifications. It's obivously a they have hopes that he'll be able to who want to spend their money great deal of money to pay for a do something with the athletic trying to improve Rice football head coach and it's beyond the program, that we can be and people can spend their money going market rate given his competitive. I think that is a any way they want to. experience and record but other misguided hope and that he has a FREE than that I suppose that I would hard job to try to do that, an My greatest feeling is one of leave it up to the committee to impossible job in my view. disappointment because there PREGNANCY TESTS judge whether they thought it was I do believe the money could be seem to be a lot of other needs that • Confidential Counseling worth it. better spent if it were available for the university has that I wish • OB-GYN Specialists people wanted to spend money on My objections were really to a other things, I'm not sure it would • Birth Control Information and it doesn't appear. There are a kind of overall concept rather than be available for other things. I will • Early Detection of Pregnancy lot of things in my department, my what they did in this instance. I say this, it was very upsetting for • Termination of Pregnancy Through 24 Weeks own as well as others, where we don't really feel that it's likely that me to see the difficulties that the really do need more money and we'll succeed in football at this Honor Council had in raising in wouldn't have any donors. So, if a level nor indeed do I think that it money or in getting approval of the blanket tax so that they could lot of money is being spent on his 7! ® would be worth doing. I'd like to salary, I guess my main feeling or It see us play football at a different publish the booklets on the Honor reaction to it is, "Gee, I wish people »• * '<" West Loop Clinic level; schools I'd like to see us System and maintain a good honor wanted to spend it on other things emulate are schools of our own size system at Rice. They had to as well." Whether it is going to do K and caliber like Amherst, borrow $1500 from the President's any good or not, I don't know. 622-2170 Weslayen, Oberlin, places like office which they had to repay in Pharr: I agree that you have to pay that. two years and funny, they can find 2900 WEST LOOP SOUTH that much money for a football more money to a football coach Stein: If you accept the fact that than you do to some of your HOUSTON, TEXAS 77027 we're going to have a football coach but they can't find $1500 to help the Honor Council and that professors, if you are committed to team, and you're asking me to give having a football program at this you a cost-benefit analysis, I don't did upset me. That is what upset know. Is he worth the money? The me about it the most. answer is of course he is worth it. If they had that money available Why? Because he got it, and in this in the academic side of the society the market dictates what university there are lots of things someone's worth. So Watson they could do with it that would Brown is worth the money because bring fame and publicity and he got it. visibility to the university and I FREE Folk Art Calendar GIFT BONUS! OverJ125.00 In 1984 Coupons With Every Calendar Will it prove to be effective in would hope now that the board has $9.95 terms of a winning football team? I solved the athletic problem it K! I All. \ VI I f1 would say that this is kind of a would turn its attention to with purchase ol any medium or larger speculative question. His record would indicate that he has some pizza and a pitcher of Coke. success. Yeah, it's a good risk. I Self-study know nothing about football in A collection of beautiful scenes reminiscent of an terms of college football and I can't continued from page I uncomplicated America before the turn of the cent The optimal solution to the This full color 1^84 make any judgements on that. Is American Folk the money well spent? What else problem would be to remove the ceiling on the amount of tuition Art Calendar is could we have spent it on? The your gift from answer is: nothing. The money waivers, but this does not seem Pizza Inn. It's comes from alumni and feasible. Currently, each free with the purchase of any commercial interests who wouldn't department has a set number of waivers. medium or have given it for (other things). larger pizza and They gave it to what they wanted The self-study panel will a pitcher of to give it for, so we couldn't have formulate a proposal to the Coke. Enjoy! spent it on anything else, it is a administration on steps to improve moot point...If we are going to the graduate education. The panel hopes to complete a rough draft of Offer Not Valid have a football program at Rice, With Buffet Or Any that's what we are going to have to the proposal by the end of Other Offer. Good January. While Supplies L Jst At Participating Restaurant'.. CHRIST

FREE PIZZA. i $3.00 or $2.00 Off. i Buy any pizza and get the next i Get $3.00 off a large or $2.00 off smaller same style pizza with a medium size pizza, any style and i KINGluj equal number of toppings, FREE. as many toppings as you want. Present this coupon with guest i Present this coupon with guest check. Not valid with any other i check. Not valid with any other offer. offer. i lvtheran El Expiration: 3/31/84 RT Expiration: 3/31/84 RT CHVRCH i For pizza out its Pizza Inn. '33S5 i FOr pizza out it's Pizza Inn. ^9© i RiceatGreeobriar • In The Village • 523-2864 Pizza innI • Pizza Inn 1 Worship 8:00 & 11:00 a.m. Sunday Evening Student Supper 6 p.m. — $1.00 Donation Pastoral Staff available for consultation by appointment Transportation available for students by request For pizza out its Pizza Inn. ^0^ For additional information see our monthly newsletter, ttie CALENDAR Providing Lutheran Campus Ministry at Rice Pizza inn The Rice Thresher, December 9, 1983, page 9 SKI UNIVERSITY SKI DEPARTURES INCLUDES: The Weekender Depart Austin Thursdays 9 30 P M Plus Tax Return (Arrive) Mondays 9 00 A.M. and $8.00 0* ROUND TRIP Christmas Holidays Departures. Dec 15. 22. 29 Annual All Week Long: Depart Austin Saturdays 9 30 P M 0* HOTELS Return (Arrive) Saturdays 9 00 A M Registration Christmas Holidays Departures. Dec. 17. 24. 31 0 TRANSFERS 0 BREAKFASTS CHRISTMAS HOLIDAYS 0 SKI PARTY

A Day Lodge, Cafeteria, Bar, Ski School Hdq. First Aid, Lift Tickets, Picnic Tables B Powder Keg Snacks, Picnic Tables C Mother Moguls Bar & Grill, First Aid "V 8 hi * ' 'V%'1 D Mini A Snacks, Picnic Tables E Summit Ski School Hdq. (Back Basin Classes) i' 40 F Summit Elev. 10,680' gel Fire Peak 11,086'

EGEND EASIEST MORE DIFFICULT agw»m •eeutlfuJ Angel Fire, New Mexioo in the unspoiled New Mexico Rookies. *6 miles of downhill trails, 11,000 foot MOST DIFFICULT puks, SO miles of eross country trails, 8,100 skiers per CHAIRLIFTS hour, right in the heart of magnificent Kit Carson^ National Forest FACILITIES. ETC i FRONT BASIN VILLAGE SKf

OVER 86 MILKS OF TRAILS THE DEAL SHOULD I? 36% Reginner / 47% Intermediate 18% Advanced The U.S. Collegiate Ski Club knows that not everyone needs helicopter skiing, Yes. Save a bundle. Meet a lot of great new SKI-RUNS Guilv C'u! OH limousines to the slopes, or " Aspensive" prices to get a lot of enjoyment out friends. Enjoy the unspoiled old west. And • cu ct 28 Lower B: of skiing. We sell skiing darned cheap Period. And frankly, alot of the fun's — while space lasts — you get the Christmas in getting there, meeting a lot of new people, and discovering the most unspoiled Holidays! No extra charge. skiing in America. Not to mention the fact that the average skier can ski with us THREE times a season, for LESS money than ONE average trip at average H: W.l, prices elsewhere Two full days of skiing (or five days slightly higher). You get: A r.. j«[ f FIRST TIME SKIERS WANTED Hdileiui MOST DIFFICULT • Round trip transportation Austin to Rockies via Luxury A "first time'' person of average athletic abil- Motorcoach. ity should be up and around on skis after a • Accommodations 2 nights at the Ski Chalet's new Star lite Condo- morning's instruction. Inexpensive group miniums, fireplaces, kitchens, maximum occupancy lessons are available, and everyone starts • Hotel Transfers. together. It's fun. You'll like it. You may go on to become a professional ski bum. Or just • Continental Breakfasts all days at resort. another person who really enjoys skiing. At • Get Acquainted Departure Ski Party. these prices it doesn't cost much to find out. • Discount Lift Tickets. Join us. • Discount Ski Rentals WHERE WE ARE GOING To the high, unspoiled New Mexico Rockies. To the RRING A DATE? 23,000 acre Angel Fire resort with over 28 MILES At these prices, why not? Better still, be a young philanthropist and bring of downhill ski runs, 20 MILES of cross country several Or, save even more and take advantage of slopes full of possibles. What trails, 11,000' peaks, 6 chair lifts with skier capac- to tell Mums? We handle the tour. Mums is your department. ity of 8100 skiers per hour, and a great bunch of friendly people, to compliment Angel Fire's famous nightlife Allofthis,rightintheheartoftheKitCar- WHAT DO I DO NOW? son National Forest In what is fast becoming THE If you want to ski during the holidays, FOHPETE'SSAKE (and for everybody's resort for those in the know As one skier put it: "I sake) CALL NOW! Yes, we all procrastinate, and yes, EVERYRODY says "call can't believe it. It's spectacular — like Colorado 1 now," but here's something to remember: Holiday reservations all over the ' USED to be " Rockies are just about impossible already. WE CAN ACCOMMODATE NOW, RUT EXPECT TO RE COMPLETELY SOLD OUT IN A LIMITED TIME. Ourreser WHAT'S THE CATCH? vationist are on duty right now to accept your reservation, 8:00 A.M. to 11:00 The catch is no caviar F.M. seven days a week COLLEGE FUN The US Collegiate Ski Club is open to everyone Anyone who enjoys skiing and (713) 363-4404 fun, college style, that is. It's a kind of Ft Lauderdale on wheels and skis. Toss THE CHRISTMAS SCHEDULE: your mittens and a couple of pairs of jeans into a bag and go for it. Our get The Weekender: Depart Austin Thursdays 9:30 P.M. acquainted departure ski party is designed to make everyone feel comfortable Return (Arrive) Mondays 9:00 A M (713) 363-3889 College fun is once and special Enjoy Christmas Holidays Departures: Dec. 15. 22, 29 All Week Long: Depart Austin Saturdays 9:30 P.M. Return (Arrive) Saturdays 9:00 A.M. (713) 363-9031 Christmas Holidays Departures: Dec. 17. Z4. 31 (713) 363-4644

iQuman UVTAL Tour piecei of equipment ere required: (1) Ski*. oiours? (I) Boots, (8) PolM. (4) Btadinjs. We rent them u * You can still book ; package to you. To fit you, we need your (A) belfbt, Tour Operator 'J your group for the Ski (>) weight, (C) shoe else. That's It. Tour equipment Holidays. Ask for ; group tours desk will be waiting. And as a UgCSC participant, you get a 10% discount. /TSs r-5 r> o US COLLEGIATE ;TM OruUr Houston ftagionAl Offlcta, 100 Woodland Oat* On* PUrr, 719 Sawdust load. Tba Woodlands, Texas 778A0 ieS9 O 8 COLLSOIATl SKI CLUB IMC

The Rice Thresher, December 9, 1983, page 10 THRESHER FINE ARTS HGO's Candlde purveys comic, blood'n'guts dogma Candide Voltaire's wit, the atiors' Dana Krueger's one-buttocked Old were simply shameful and Bernstein's Mass: dogma is Houston Grand Opera versatility, and Bernstein and Lady was hilarious. embarrassingly atrocious. I once expounded, dogma is doubted, November 25-December 8 librettist Wheeler's theatrical Unfortunately, Bernstein and credited DeMain with being a fine and dogma is eventually vision. Wheeler's Candide is too much like conductor of American opera, i.e. supplanted. Sadly, this piece Dead soldiers rot on battlefields. Clark Dunham's scenery gives Charlie Brown. Neither was David Porgy and Bess, but not this time "wimps out" in the end. Bernstein Women are raped by soldiers. the show a feeling of a carnival Eisler's voice as Candide strong around. gives us a gorgeous finale a la Women are made prostitutes by side-show. Hal Prince's direction enough, nor was his acting Bernstein's new version of Virgil Thomson, but the men. Women choose to be did not seem to be as brilliant as in humanistic Gospel of Leonard prostitutes in a world of no Evita, but it was consistent and Bernstein, telling us that man is options. Babies are stabbed by flashy. The lighting design by Ken good or evil through his own soldier's swords. Heretics are Bloomington and costumes by works does not ring out with burned by a benevolent Holy Judith Dolan were outstanding in conviction. The idea that man's Mother Church. meeting the demands of the show. nature is to create and to protect "But if man is made in the image •x the earth is too important to be of God..." Erie Mills' Cunegonde deserves tossed away in a phrase of "Perhaps this is the image of great praise for her performance. dialogue. We need to hear why God." Intelligent acting, graceful Candide's dream of living the Leonard Bernstein's refashioned movement, and a warm, precise simple life suddenly appeals to coloratura make her performance Candide may serve to fill the gap appealing. Happily, William Candide impressed me, but the Cunegonde, and something should the finest in the production. between musical comedy and Parcher's Maximilian shone as work still calls for revision, be said about the fact that after Joseph McKee as Voltaire/Pan- blood-and-guts opera and draw first, the intolerably vain heir to particularly regarding the Old having searched for and found gloss proved varied and the American public back into the the thronette of Westphalia, then a Lady's Cadiz song and much of each other, Cunegonde and accomplished as a singer and an medium originally intended for the transvestite slave in Columbia, a Candide's music. Maybe through Candide's love is not enough for actor. His role is the most difficult masses. Though the first act deals Jesuit in Uruguay, and a servant of fault of the orchestra, the overture them, and they require an ultimate in the work, and his performance with a woman being raped by an the Chief of Police of sounded a bit weak, but if this purpose as humans for themselves key to the success of the show. entire regiment of the Bulgarian Constantinople. show is to contend as an opera, a and mankind. Another rewrite is army, the destruction of Maris Clement, Paquette, is a John DeMain's conducting less Broadway sounding needed to make the work totally Westphalia, prostitution, and the gifted Broadway actress who won butchered the overture. The orchestration would be in order in rewarding musically and Inquisition in Portugal, the whole my heart with the line "I want a orchestra played with incredible any case. intellectually, but as comedy it affair is treated in a light-hearted mollusk!" and her incredible shallowness, and the continual Clearly, Candide is cut from the already has it all. and comic manner, owing to whirling Our Lady of Oporto. errors of the brass and woodwinds same intellectual fabric as — V. William L'her, III Goode, String Quartet combine for clean, balanced music New World String Quartet attributed to five extremely quartet developed, things only Hamman Hall competent musicians with a clear became better, and by the last two December 6 understanding of what one must movements I was under the do to be a strong yet conceding impression that they were actually The concert Tuesday evening in member of a small chamber group. having fun with the music. Small Hamman Hall by the New World The quartet — composed of technical inclarities in no way String Quartet, co-sponsored by Curtis Macomber and Vahn hindered their rendering with the Houston Friends of Music and Armstrong, violins; Robert Dan, "Mozartian precision" of this the Shepherd School, was a true viola; and Ross Harbaugh, cello — lyrical and lighthearted quartet. success. The young quartet, winner opened their program with the Richard Goode joined the of the Naumberg chamber music Quartet in D Major, K. 575 by quartet in the Piano Quintet in F competition in 1979, was joined in Mozart. The opening of the Minor, Op. 34 by Brahms, this performance by the renowned allegretto was clean and demonstrating himself to be a pianist, Richard Goode. The convincing, with a well-set tempo commanding yet sensitive pianist. success of this collaboration can be felt from the first note. As the The quartet adjusted nicely to the additional force of the piano and carried off an energetic performance. Their dynamic Weak writing wrecks Rita interpretation allowed the expresion of both soft, tender Educating Rita on the pitiable flux of modern themes and those of intense, Directed by Lewis Gilbert manhood. Catherine Deneuve, forceful proportion. They Colufnbia Pictures likewise b<5gged even in the middle produced a rich, sustained sound of a hopeless film grinder, can while continuing to display There's a charming thing that capture the whole confusion of technical accuracy. This work films are often able to do: be living as a real woman in one concluded the first half of the ambiguous. And while all the arts ponderous look of irresolution. program with inspired emotion. likewise suggest problems of And while whole films very rarely Dvorak's Quintet in A Major for definite meaning or of right or have the strength to be soft these Piano and Strings, Op. 81 was the wrong, film (it seems) is most days, while most cudgel us with final work on the program. Happy immediately equipped for this conclusions instead of posing melody and folk-like rhythms are special effect. Actors can embody ironies, there are moments incorporated throughout the the charm of human uncertainty, Members of New World String Quartet brandish their instruments spinning with problems in every work. The almost schmaltzy not the glare of theoretical group. No player was either too Quartet's one-time collaboration theatre. playing ability portrayed the simplification. The mood of the weak or too overbearing. First with pianist Richard Goode British director Lewis Gilbert natural simplicity that provided camera can subtly undermine an violinist Curtis Macomber provides ample evidence of this clearly sees the beauty in uncertain the inspiration underlying otherwise clear statement, demonstrated noteworthy ability versatility. Tuesday evening's humanity. In his new film Dvorak's musical embellishments. improving the overall effect, to lead the group, as well as to play concert by this performing group Educating Rita, he strains, Robert Dan's solo viola passages leaving the audience to see the his part with admirable provided the opportunity to clenches, stacks the deck and were played with extremely complexities and not to passively musicianship. All members of the experience the essense of chamber t finally rings hollow by pursuing touching musicality. The concert accept the "moral." The spoken quartet performed as equals, music as an act of unified musical that insightful lack of an answer. was brought to a close with a word, the work of screenwriters, displaying a unified sound and understanding and performance. Instead, where Michael Caine and frolicking finale, played wihtout also seems to be especially prone to good adaptability to the style of newcomer Julie Walters stop, hesitation at an exciting upbeat enigma; no one shouts a thing so each work. The New World String —Anne L. Blume look, and dumbly emote at one tempo. loudly that you can't somehow see another, where irony wanted to be, The success of this group is his mind touching on the other there was only a mumbled bit of thing. foremost a result of their ability to see Lack, page 12 feel the tempos and music as a Houston Bicycle Co. o All this subtext and puzzlement is not just a film archivist's 864-1852 s 1 u. pipedream either, not something v V V V , o ^ l.icmsi'it 3716 RAYMOND from "better days." There are Z " plenty of moments in movies now Swedish MMassagei N. of Memorial §< which ring on and on with possible Reiki Between Heights & Waugh Dr. 2 co significances long after a simpler _ Rclav in a soot/iuuj mvirot intent flick would have you decide one "•SPECIAL OFFER** way or the other. Hitchcock's film Joseph Ijomax PICK UP AND DELIVERY at the Greenway now contains a CALL FOR DETAILS # * 668-7953 „ * \\ X world of double meanings. William Hurt's presence is based The Rice Thresher, December 9, 1983, page 11 Lack of substance forces flick to fall through under fire continued from page 11 sense of why Rita has suddenly it in educated terms. This is clearly nonsense. The overall effect, I documentary-look, non-filtered, and a pedantic song lyric sew up stumbled onto an upwardly mobile the stuff of even the most found finally, was a wonderful idea rather static camera frames seen the matter completely. ambition. Nonetheless, she forges agonizingly ambiguous art film! about what a movie could be. The mostly in British films of years through, attending Caine's But unfortunately, the longish idea, though, was completely ago — before the "tweedy" look of That Educating Rita overcomes sporadic tutorials. glances between the two, like the misunderstood. Chariots of Fire made gloss and such temptations is wonderful, specifics of their particular Meanwhile, the professor rich warmth the vogue. He remains fine. That it i. ble to show a vision Educating Rita casts Caine as an dilemmas, finally ring resoun- mumbles quite sardonic-sounding distant in even the most intimate of class and c ire struggle which alcoholic, skeptical English dingly hollow. professor in a British "open bits of unhappiness, and he broods scenes. And when he does thrust a is not ideologically laden or university." One of his night over the spirit he lost through his Caine is charming and on the close-up on the viewer, there is simple-minded is also a count in its students is Rita Walters; she is present scholastic study of art. His mark in his disheveled only a staged stare to see, with favor. But as a serious character working on literature, beauty, life is also sexually and academician's garb, but his nothing of thought and nothing of study, it lacks the important love: "those things that are domestically unfulfilling. Though sarcasm is purely sophomoric, the rich ambiguity likely intended. element: whole characters. As a important." Beginning with their again, Caine's real angst is never evidencing no real torture or even Some of this emptiness probably mild, calm comedy, its jokes try first meeting in Caine's office, the addressed, never felt by the actor disinterest underneath. Walters belongs to the screenwriter. Willie just a bit too hard for a film sets itself what was probably a or director. Together, the Prof and bounces and is innocently girlish in Russell does take up heavy sophisticated appeal. For all of its very subtle theme, if a rather Rita go through a give-and-take a primitive, childlike caricature, material, though evidences no real noble attempts, Educating Rita hackneyed one. Rita is lower-class year or so — the time duration is but she never seems to register the flair in its treatment. It is simply fails at perhaps the most — one of those bleach-blonde Brit also unclear, except for the development her actions would embarrassingly easy to ask just difficult effect of all: a moment girls seen in lots of 1960s films obligatory passage of seasons seem to take her through. The how valuable fine literature is, to which feels the thousand different wearing dirty mini-skirts — scenes — unspoken loves are crucial moment between her and put a needy man and a giving sides of human crisis instead of although she senses that hers is an shared, and Rita's vitality is Caine becomes a laugh, yes — woman together and then show understanding the particular empty life and yearns to "sing a threatened by horrid learning. instead of love, she'll offer how they longingly miss one answer chosen by a megalo- better song." All this is to construct a scene grooming advice — but a another. It is far more difficult to maniacal director in the vacuum of his movie. Well, Educating Rita is Scenes with her husband and which — I thought down to the gratuitous one, funny in only a spark a feeling as to why these not megalomaniacal. Rather, it parents make Rita's discontent very last — would actually reveal a simple way. things are. Most movies today do treads with too much respect for understandable. Though attemp- melee of truths and personal In a similar fashion, Gilbert's not bother one way or the other, subtlety and ambiguity, losing in ting to be fair to all classes, or all motivations: the prof does need directing is a vague bit of pretense not even the serious ones. And the process any sense at all. sorts of mentalities, or something, new life; Rita somehow exudes just flatly without spine or essence. He almost all of those which do try Gilbert fails to make the slightest this but finds it important to speak deals mostly in that slightly end up shouting, or having aliens —Harry Wadp THE CONTINUING ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN BRAINSTORM by Geoff Spradley EPISODE VII: detractors alike.) After holding his reminded himself, somebody's Sackenpack was a scrapper. After the Captain wondered if anyone "Brad, where are you?" job for over two decades, he was got to do it . . ." he gave up his adolescent dream of would mind if they took a little Stacy's plaintive cry echoed definitely beginning to show signs Just as he was about to let fly playing the piano like Pavarotti, detour on the way home . . . among the rafters of Kellogg's A- of wear. Only a week before the with Price's laugh again, a giant Melvin took to the neighborhood "It was nothing, kid," team plant in Battle Creek. No one kidnapping a gnomie found him crash was heard from above as a streets and soon became one of Brainstorm replied, hoping not to was on the scene that could save locked in his own desk reciting an mass of glass from the skylight southern Omaha's more feared be believed. her, though; all the animated Allen Ginsberg poem, "Stirring hurtled to the ground. Both turf hoods. People sometimes tried • • * * critters that usually run around Minestrone With a Sears Best Fire schemer and quarry craned their him once, but after that they Back at the campus quite a this Saturday morning cereal Extinguisher," while sucking the necks to see the profile of a gangly learned better and stuck to crowd had gathered to welcome factory were out on their annual liquid centers out of an entire box creature modeling a tweed body handball instead. Brainstorm Stacy and her rescuer. Brainstorm company picnic, playing Softball of Russell Stover chocola%s. suit, glasses, a pipe, and a tattered readied himself for the attack; it dropped her off and remained on and getting to eat something red cape flapping proudly in the could come at any time and from the ground for a breather amidst besides those idiotic Sugar Pops. That's small potatoes compared wind like the American flag at Iwo any direction from a desperado substantial cheering. "Nice work. Nobody heard her plea but her to his current scheme of selling Jima. Also a skillful PDAP like this one. Captain!" beamed a youth captor, who by this time was so Stacy's services to the nation's counsellor, Captain Brainstorm "Your mother works the lunch sporting thick glasses and a "Save enchanted with his virility as a leading sugar-coated cereal summoned his most convincing shift at Pizza Hut and actually eats the Beagles" t-shirt. "Anything we highway pirate that he played a manufacturer, though. In return operatic tenor for the occasion. there!" (Pow!) can do to make the world better?" loud recording of a Vincent Price for the use of her smiling Ail- "Unhand yon freshman, thou Luckily, Brainstorm was ready. "Sure! Clean your plates, con- laugh on a jam box that he had American face, Kellogg's agreed to monster! She's overdue at the He dodged the vicious volley, tribute to class discussions, sign up bought for just such as occasion. whip up a breakfast potion more library!" letting it crash into a crate of Sugar for escort service, and don't pick "No one can stop me now!" he powerful than anything that With that introduction our hero Smacks. If the kidnapper let his non-union hitchhikersT cackled, scraping his fingernails on lightweight Walt Disney ever swooped down into the dank wrath fly this easily he'd soon be After a few minutes Brainstorm a brick wall to complete the etlect. conjured up for Kurt Russell. Plop cereal fa^ory, narrowly missing a exhausted. The Captain reached took to the air again, definitely Ruthless fiend! Who would a bowl of that stuff on the morning tall stack of Flaky Natural 100% back into his arsenal and fired one tired after all this business.''What possbily enact such atrocities? Oh training table, he thought, and the Bran that awaited shipment to of his own. It wasn't a pretty fight. he needed now was to recharge his yes, I already told you . . . none football team will be invincible. Oregon. He landed on the concrete The two veterans flung insults batteries for a few days on a other than the formerly innocuous And once they get going again floor,'< ready to do battle with any (Oof!), sour puns (Bam!), bad Mexican beach and to shampoo university president Melvin perhaps the alumni association weapons his adversary chose: light ghost stories (Crash!), and light his brain in a large tub of Sackenpack. would rescind its threats and sabres, dueling pistols, or last bulb jokes (Kersploosh!), creating homegrown tequila. Ah, there are It had been a difficult year for release his wife on alternate rainy week's lemon delight. "En the rowdiest winds the nation had some experiences the Nestea the Sack (a term of endearment weiekendsr. The job demanded a lot gardel" seen since Hurricane Alicia went plunge can never match. . . favored by his critics and of blood from him, but, as he often And it looked like this bowling for windows this summer. Meanwhile, our old buddy Brad The Sack fought fiercely, but he waited for the crowd around Stacy couldn't keep it up. Rather than to subside before approaching her. •\ /• face defeat and the horror of his They shared a smile, bright as ever. crimes, though, the kidnapper "Missed you, Stace! While you preferred to tip the self-destruct were gone I found a really boss way device the factory had in case the to prove the existence of tapioca. I COPIES Hitachi family ever paid a visit. think you'll like it. . ." COPY Besides, what better way is there to "Same old Brad," she thought, BINDING finish a semester than with an conceding that he wasn't the type Christmas letters, explosion? (Just ask Sid and to count on for a snazzy rescue. PASSPORT PHOTOS design your own Lovett . . .) She wondered when that cards Brainstorm caught on fast. fashionable caped character would "Quick! We've got to get out of be popping through her life again. kinko's GREEN OR RED here! This place'll blow up any She shook those thoughts away, second!" though, and gave her math tutor a convincing hug. "I'll need your Rica U./Med Center PAPER Brainstorm grabbed Stacy in his 2368 Rice Blvd , Houston, Tx 77005 not-so-overpowering arms and help, Brad. I've got a lot of (713) 521-®466 barely cleared the factory roof catching up to do!" Southwest Freeway before the main vats exploded, So do we all. Will Captain 2035 Southwest Freeway, Houston. Tx. 77098 520-9753 scattering a month's supply of Brainstorm make it back to the Cocoa Krispies over the sleepy States? Will the university score on Downtown Your choice-no extra charge 2811 Main Street, Houston, Tx. 77002 town. Several terrorists groups a new president who's into (713) 654-8161 immediately claimed responsibilty academics? Most of all, will... will U. of H./Gulf Freeway for the blast. . . . aw, relax, there's nothing. 4727 Calhoun #B. Houston, Tx. 77004 "Close call," Brainstorm Good luck with finals, everyone. (713) 747-6066 with this coupon. Expires 12/25/83. breathed. He made a mental note And remember, if you're ever in a Clear Lake Area to pay his insurance premiums jam, just say the words "coffee 989 Nasa Rd #1, Houston, Tx. 77058 (713) 480-6420 soon. cake on the rocks." It probably "You were wonderful," intoned won't bring Brainstorm, but 'at Open 7 Days Stacy. Her eyes shone with a least it might make whoever's remarkable brilliance. Oh my . . . messing with you think twice V. Despite his professsional oaths, about it. Happy holidays!

The Rice Thresher, December 9, 1983, page 12 BAD MOVIE OF THE WEEK by Greg Holies

Running Brave dimmed by a golden glow that greatest artist. Well, you know, classic Death Be Not Proud.) But opportunity. But this opportunity Starring Robby Benson glistened and grew from its lofty like that. It's Running Brave, the it's not that old. It's great. You is also examined. As a "hired" That chainsaw cut-em-open- origin. 1 saw a human figure true story of Billy Mills, a Sioux begin to feel for this poor Indian at athlete. Mills is being used by his stew'em-up thriller, Pieces, seemed descending on this shining Indian who left the reservation and K.U., his frustrations, his doubts, school to rack up points when he like the next obvious choice. staircase of light, my heart went on to win the 10,000 meters at and his confusions. When this guy reaily doesn't belong in such a fast- Crossing all lines of convention for trembling as it approached with the Tokyo Olympics. Mills started runs, you pull for him. It just seems paced setting. The Knute the chainsaw genre (i.e. not set in increasing speed. It was a Grecian running as a kid with obvious that he deserves to win. The Rocknesque coach of Kansas is Texas), this film didn't even get a goddess, swathed only in towels, talent. His ability is his ticket off running scenes are very well done. played well by Pat Hingle. He's rating. It's that gross. Or Stryker, her beauty embracing me in a the reservation and on to Kansas Just the sound of footsteps and always preaching win, win, win, another punk rock demolition hypnotic trance. Her hair shone U. At Kansas, Billy's traditional hard-breathing, along with a well and demanding commitment in the derby in the desert a la The Road like the sun, her skin was soft and Indian values run up against the matched musical score whose face of doubt. All of this conflict Warrior. The ad shows some new fair. She began to beckon to me white world and white prejudice. subdued, easy flowing synth tones adds depth to the character, giving wave weaponry and a human hood through full, pouting lips, her Among others he is still alone, enhance the picture. It's not of the us a reason to care whether or not ornament. Interesting. It was in my words soft yet forceful. "Stop alienated even by the rest of the Chariots of Fire caliber, but it is he wins. genes to go see one of these babies watching all that crap, Holies, it's track team. powerful and motivating. this past week. But on my way to time to fish or cut bait." The final result is a great film. Robby Benson's portrayal of the Sham 6 it happened .... The film avoids being too cliche- True to the formula, it is I'll fish. You've seen this kind of Mills is loaded with the stoicism, ed because it is very well motivating, emotional, and it ends I was walking lazily to my movie before. It's the story of a and courage, and pride that get developed, the storyline making on a high note. Some may feel like favorite cinematic establishment, winner. A man who wouldn't quit. him through these tough times. several interesting points. Vivid they've seen it ail somewhere my head tilted towards the silvery Playing to win. Coming from Benson has been in these, 'Come images of the American Indian are before, and they probably have, heavens, slightly obscured by an behind to beat the odds. It's the on, you can do it' films before, presented. The hopelessness and but I had no problem selling out to armada of clouds. Slowly, the fiery story of a blind quadriplegic who both in Ice Castles and in One on the degradation of reservation life see what was one of the best movies orange tones of the sunset were went on to become the world's One (oh, and let's not forget the are contrasted with Mills' I've seen in a while. CAMPUS THEATRE CORNER by Wiggy Martin

Sucksucksuck, GodlHateTech- my hands as I write this missive to that I know who's actually behind What can you do? Don't watch her! Move to Zambia and run a nology, but! Ah yes, the ever- you, to urge you to fight against all this. Mummify Tom Morgan? TV! Ever notice how many chicken-sexing plant! There may present but', in this case the newest the vast corporate-government MTM? The bitch herself, that's programs have that cute little be nothing you can do to save the product from those Agent Orange deadening of the individual spirit. who. Mary Tyler Moore, the grand kitten after them? Enough to suck world, but at least you can save buddy-boys at Du Pont — aerosol It isn't spiders — it never was. No, puppetress of the whole shebang. your mind dry. "Hill Street Blues!" your own soul! drama! Shpritzz! Jean Genet, it's the shadowed men, the hands Remember seeing her in Ordinary "The Bob Newhart Show!" And From the last borders of a free violence and depravity in your own that pull the strings of the Reagan People? What a nasty, nasty the root of this evil proliferation, Earth, this has been a Wiggy living room. Shpritzz! Who's puppet and the Bush puppet and uncaring woman she was. Hell, the "Mary Tyler Moore Show" Martin message of salvation. Afraid Of Virginia Woolf, Liz the Kirkpatrick puppet and are that was your fucking human spirit itself! Gakk, retch, cough, gasp. Think now, or it's a mummified Taylor looking fat and reaching their long, sticky fingers rebelling against her unholy Boycott Mary Tyler Moore! Tom Morgan and spiritual slavery disenchanted on your naugahyde our way, clawing towards our controlling influence. Pretend vou never even heard of for us all! lounger.' fragile strings. But first, first oh And on and on, bleeding Christ blended ones, they want to I've noticed, are you trying to tell mummify Tom Morgan. me you haven't? Every (oop! Hold on a minute here: chaos in the No doubt some of you wonder nerve center of this fine journalistic why the fuck they'd want to do endeavor... No matter what you that, what in hell difference does say, Ms. Knaff, I shall nor stick my Tom Morgan make? Tom Morgan throbbing love muscle into a himself may be among these vacuum cleaner's nozzle. Wiggy doubters, with good cause. He Martin is a man of fine moral fiber, doesn't know that he is the you, you sinkhole of sensuosity. receptacle of the indomitable will Oooooo you make me mad.) of all mankind. That's pretty heavy Anyway, every single K-mart in duty shit. God (The storm drain? the country, the integral supply Remember him?) doesn't always center for our working-class base let his big guns know that's what strataoids, has been glutted with they are, a lot like postmen not aerosol drama, great freaking knowing just how important they cases of it, cans upon cans upon actually are. But don't you see? cans, and, God, I can only wonder The plot is to mummify him — to whyl For what insane corporate calcify our greatest spiritual reason? /- aspects forever in a hardened shell. Few people know of the program for the mummification of By now you are probably Tom Morgan . . . because they see wondering what the hell you can to that. I take my sanityand life in do about this. They don't know Understanding Objectivism a new 12-lecture course on- tape by LEONARD PEIKOFF. Dr. Peikoff, author of The Ominous Parallels and me RocK.es intellectual heir of AYN RAP®, will deliver the first lecture of this course UVE at

Intercontinental Airport Hilton Inn 500 North Belt East Houston, Texas The course is addressed to those who have already studied and agree with the ideas of Ayn Rand. Please call for details. A free descriptive brochure is available on request. oHHERocwisb^ contact THEBES! §

C.K. Sawver i pr •-? r, (713) 520-7110 (leave message) $.1 •

The Rice Thresher, December 9, 1983, page 13 | 'tinufux OCA 'DaikioruJ Qinu £toim" THIS MONTH by Robert Adams

4ivi VARIETY FAIR 5 & 10 Film Theatre ALICE and BEN KLINGER 10 CATHY KLINGER IRBV The Wizard of Oz. I know it is getting too close to The Gift of the Magi. This is a one-act musical based finals to really care what is happening out in the real on the famous O'Henry short story of two young Everything for your Christmas needs. world anvmore. but this is a classic film (and I need people that sacrifice their proudest possesions to he money.) The acting in this fantasy/adventure is bring each other happiness at Christmas. The superb; Judy Garland plays a wondering, open-eyed Chocolate Bayou Theater Co. presents this show 2415 RICE BLVD 522-0561 Dorothy; Ray Bolger is the disjointed Scarecrow; December 16-18, and again December 22 and 23. HOUSTON, TEXAS 77005 In The VILLAGE Since 1948 Bert Lahr that cuddly Cowardly Lion; Jack Haley For tickets and times call 759-9840. the kind-hearted, loving Tin Woodsman; Frank Morgan the coniving, wimpy, but nice, Wizard; Margaret Hamilton as the despised Wicked Witch; Cloud Nine. Caryl Churchill's wickedly funny and Billie Burke is that sugary-sweet, impossibly comedy, winner of three Off-Broadway Obie BURKE BAKER PLANETARIUM nice Glinda the Good. Always a good film, no matter Awards, makes its Southwest debut as the first part presents what your age; at the River Oaks Sunday, December of the four-part Arena Stage Series at the Alley. The 11, doubling with Meet Me in St. Louis, another first act of Cloud Nine is set in Africa, 100 years ago, Garland film. and focuses on a colonizing family, repressed and CHRISTMAS LASER obsessed by the Victorian values imposed upon it. LASER MAGIC The second act is set in London, 100 years later, yet the characters have only aged 25 years. The play Friday 9:00 PM Friday 10:30 PM ridicules social conventions, employing among Saturday other things cross-gender casting to achieve this Saturday 10:30 PM %• 'lllSSI 12:30, 7:30 & 9:00 PM effect. The play opens December 29 and runs Sunday 12:30 A 7:30 PM through January 29. For ticket information, call the Alley Box Office at 228-8421. Light + Sound + Color Dance Admission: $4.00 No Admittance After Show Begins Nutcracker. The old classic is back, and just in time Houston Museum of Natural Science for its 91st anniversary. This delightful story of a young girl's Christmas will be performed with all the 526-4273 traditional elements intact, thanks to Ben Stevenson's choreography, which includes the familar "Snow Scene." Performances are December 16-30, with several matinees; for tickets call 227- n ARTS.

Music

Michelle Pfeiffer of Scarface in one of her less-revealing Houston Symphony. The German conducter, moments in the new DePalma flick Christoph Eschenbach , will make his Houston Scarface. This is the filthy movie with A1 Pacino that Symphony Orchestra conducting debut on the Jones was originally given an X rating, yes X! Horrors, I Hall stage leading the orchestra and bassoon soloist, am dismayed; A1 Pacino used to be such an Benjamin Kamins, in three concerts of music by upstanding actor. My goodness, what is this world German composers. The Overture and Venusberb coming to? I am tired of mindless sex, it isn't even Music from Tannhaeuser by Richard Wagner opens erotic, just dull. Michelle Pfeiffer (see photo) is the the concert program. Weber's Bassoon Concerto in CentJ- sleaze who romps around, who does she think she is? F Major, Op. 75 will conclude first half. Beethoven's

weekends * |^sT.N-TAPE® laches # Courses taught by She must have coerced the whole production team Symphony No.3 in E-flat Major, Op. 55 is scheduled T • Complete tb» entary mater a»s ^ m.jssed into this degradation of life. Opening soon, with an for the second half. The concerts are scheduled for R rating fortunately, at local theaters. By the way, Saturday, December 10 at 8 p.m., Sunday, s=?;iss;!cs>:j;g^ss« the "X" was for Xtreme violence. December 11 at 2:30 p.m., and Monday, December 12 at 8 p.m. SSVS;-;S«;- to transfer 10 Let's Spend the Night Together and Gimme Shelter. ^5 centers These are two Rolling Stones films centered on Houston Harpsichord Society. The Houston concert tours; that is where the similarity ends, Harpsichord Society will present Robert Wayne though. Let's Spend the Night Together is an Moss, of Garland, Texas, in an exciting concert of essentially upbeat film, following the Stones on their early 18th century French music. Mr. Moss's 1981 concert tour. Gimme Shelter is a chilling program will feature his masterful skills on the viola documentary about the Stones 1969 tour that ended de gamba accompanied by musicians on the flute with the Hell's Angels murdering a gun-toting and the harpsichord. Admission is free to the concert spectator. Both at the River Oaks on Wednesday, to held Saturday, Decmber 10 at 8 p.m. at Christ the December 14; Let's Spend the Night Together at King Luthern Church, 2352 Rice Boulevard at 5:45 and 9:15 p.m., Gimme Shelter at 7:30 p.m. Greenbriar.

48 Hours and Trading Places. These two films have Christmas Pops! The Houston Symphony established Eddie Murphy as the new comic talent. Orchestra will present its annual holiday favorite 48 Hours is a gritty, perfectly blended cops and Christmas Pops! concerts on December 13 and 14, in robbers farce. Trading Places is hilarious through Jones Hall. For the third season, conducter John and through. With Dan Aykroyd and Eddie Lanchbery returns to the Jones Hall podium to lead Murphy there is no way this movie could have been the 97-member Houston Symphony and the bad, but the result was unstoppable. A modern-day Houston Symphony Chorale, which is under the Prince and the Pauper story, with a wry twist at the direction of Virginia Babikian. After the orchestral KAPLAN end. At the River Oaks Saturday,-December 17; and choral works the audience will be asked to join EDUCATIONAL hopefully finals will be all done so you can enjoy this in for the Merry Christmas Sing-Along, singing CENTER double-header humor. some of the best loved Christmas carols. For tickets call 227-ARTS. Visit Any Of Our Centers And See For Yourself Why We Make The Difference The Lady Vanishes. Hitchcock's vintage murder Call Days, Evenings & Weekends mystery about a fussy old lady (Dame May Whitty) Dishes. Not dirty dishes, The Dishes, the band that TEST PREPARATION SPECIALISTS SINCE 1938 who disappears aboard a Trans-European Express has played at several Rice parties. You've heard represents the quintessence of screen suspense. them yourselves, so I won't go into details about Some of the finest examples of Hitchcockian them. At Rockefeller's Saturday, Decmber 17; for 988-4700 touches are provided — little shocks and perversities tickets CcfH 861-9365 or 227-ARTS-' 7011 S.W Freeway, #100 of editing and detail. Michael Redgrave and Art % Margaret Lockwood appear as the two amateur Houston, TX 77074 sleuths looking for the lost lady; Paul Lukas heads a Earl Staley: 1973-1983. The Contemporary Arts group of sinister Nazi agents in hot pursuit; and the Museum presents this exhibition examining the later Permanent Centers In More Than 115 Major U.S. Cities & Abroad team of Nauton Wayne and Basil Radford do a great works of Houston artist Earl Staley. The greatest For Information About Other Centers parody of the "jolly-good-show" type of Britisher. body of his paintings focus on mythology derived OUTSIDE N Y. STATE CALL TOLL FREE 800-223-1782 At the Rice Media Center Sunday, December 11 at Staley's readings. The show runs in the Upper 7:30 p.m. Gallery through February 5.

The Rice Thresher, December 9, 1983, page 14 THRESHER SPORTS Shooting woes plague cagers, record falls to 1-4 UTSA 72, Rice 56 points and 14 caroms. The sophomore center (and 1982-83 into the second half, and padded of the careening Malone and took by Chris Lowrance Runners were able to capitalize on Southland Conference Player of that cushion to as many as 15 the full brunt of his charge, Rice was unable to capture their a swarming Rice defense by the Year) Karl Malone, effectively points with that many minutes drawing the foul. One can only second win of the year, losing to consistently hitting the open denying him the ball. remaining in the game. But Rice speculate on whether Pettit was UT-San Antonio 72-56 at Autry perimeter shot. Gervin and The Bulldogs were forced to gun refused to be blown out and gearing up for a possible future Court on Thursday, December I. forward Scott McHoin were from the perimeter, and Tech managed to make a contest of it, run-in with Akeem the Dream of For the second year in a row, especially effective, combining for guards Alan Davis (who led all closing to within six points with Phi Slamma Jama fame. Rice was upset by the a 12-for-18 night. scorers with 18 points) and Tony 1:18 left. Unfortunately, the deficit Roadrunners. The Owls were once The Owls did manage to show Dawson (with 14) had to assume and foul trouble on key big men Though Rice lost a tough one, again shackled by cold hands and some bright spots. The team bombardier duties. The outside Mike Cunningham and Tony Owl head coach Tommy Suitts was stiff rims, as the team shot an turned the ball over only 14 times, shooting demonstrated by Tech Barnett proved too much to very pleased with his team's effort anemic 33 percent from the field and Tracy Steele made some certainly did not evoke visions of overcome. and resilience. Stated Suitts, "We and an even worse 31 percent in the spectacular defensive plays, such Jerry West, as the visitors shot a Pettit distinguished himself with did very well defensively, and it second half. Meanwhile, the red- as his acrobatic block of an not-exactly-torrid 37 percent from a play that exemplifies Rice's was a credit to our young men hot Roadrunners crisped the nets attempted layup. Rice's overall the floor, but it eventually did never-say-die attitude. Early in the against a very fine team." at a rate of 49 percent for the game confidence and hustle was prove sufficient. The Bulldogs second half Malone, all 6'9" and The Owls' next game is and a blistering 57 percent in the encouraging. Not to mention the took a lead they never relinquished 250 pounds of him, charged Saturday, December 10 at 7:30 second half. most scintillating halftime with 6:46 remaining in the initial downcourt on a fast break. The p.m. in Autry Court against Texas The big men led the Owls in entertainment of the year—the stanza. 180-pound Pettit stepped in front Southern. scoring. Mike Cunningham bulled Hanszenettes. The main reason for the Owls' in for 13 points, while Terrence Louisiana Tech 77, Rice 69 undoing was not Louisiana Tech's Cashaw and Tony Barnett added by Andy Crocker shooting, but its pesky and ball- Women cagers on the roll 12 and 11, respectively. Rice dropped its third decision conscious man-to-man defense. Unfortunately, Rice was unable to in four games with a 77-69 loss to a Rice, unable to work the ball inside sustain any kind of outside physical Louisiana Tech team or free main scoring threat Ivan shooting game against the taller Saturday night at Autry Court. Pettit, was forced to an outside Roadrunners, as Ivan Pettit could The Owls jumped out to an early offense. Freshman Greg Hines, muster only 8 points with a 3-for- 5-0 lead against the Bulldogs and also a long-range shooter, received 11 shooting performance from the did not relinquish the lead until his first start of the season. But field. almost nine minutes had gone by in both guards struggled from the For San Antonio, forward the first half. The key to the Owls' floor all night long and could not Derrick Gervin lived up to his last success in the early going was a provide the offensive punch the name by leading both teams in tenacioiEs 2-3 zone defense which Owls needed. scoring and rebounding with 21 collapsed around Tech's star Tech carried an eight-point lead

FOOTBALL Stadium too hot for Gamblers by Arthur Rabeau other facilities (including the field USFL franchise would have meant At this time last year, even as the itself) during the weeks of spring to Rice; "we never really got that Rice Owl football squad was trying football practice, a most far," as May noted. (Terms of the to forget its worst season ever, it unattractive prospect for the Gamblers' contract with the seemed likely that Rice Stadium athletic department. May points Houston Sports Association for would become home to a highly out, "We would not have allowed the Dome have not yet been competitive — perhaps even that- (Gamblers' workouts and released.) It is possible (though not winning — team. The United games) to interfere with university likely) that future negotiations States Football League was business." could yet bring professional expanding from 12 to 18 teams, Another major problem was football to Rice, but the Gamblers and the newly-created Houston presented by the USFL's summer seem to be firmly ensconced Gamblers were looking for a season. The Gamblers open on "under the roof" for now. home. February 26 and play until July 1, It seemed like a perfect match. when the city's hot, humid weather Ironically, the team last week The capacious 70,000-seat is at its worst. One of the announced the signing of former structure, which hosted Super franchise's owners, Bernard Rice head coach Ray Alborn as Bowl VIII, is widely regarded as Lerner, saw this as the main reason defensive line coach. The P«nni« Goff puts up a soft jumper against Southwest Texas State. Goff Gamblers also added ex-Owl and her teammates cruised to an 87-70 victorvjuesday in Autry Court. one of the finest stadiums in the not to play at Rice. He stated Last weekend the team placed third in the Dfal Classic at Mississippi nation. The precedent for using flatly, "The reason we're at the defensive tackle Clenzie Pearson State, losing to State but beating Alcorn. The team's record is now 5-1. school facilities was already Astrodome rather than at Rice is to their roster. established by USFL teams such as that the Astrodome has a cover." the Arizona Wranglers, whose home field is Arizona State's Sun The most serious obstacle to Devil Stadium. And, of course, Rice's hosting the new USFL team such an arrangement would sprang up shortly after the provide a substantial profit to the negotiations were transferred from Rice Athletic Department. the athletic department to the Nevertheless, on September 27, the president's office. Briefly stated, if CLASSES Houston franchise announced that the school had made a long-term s their home games would be played lease agreement with the in the Astrodome. Gamblers, it would have incurred a 8 BEGIN: This was not the result of any large tax liability which would sudden loss of enthusiasm on the have been passed on to the JANUARY 9th part of either Rice or the franchise. Gamblers. Both sides were very This was not an insurmountable positive about the potential problem, as evidenced by the partnership. As Bobby May, successful Wranglers-Arizona REGISTRATION Rice's assistant athletic director, State venture. Lerner believes that put it, "We would have liked to "Rice could work it out if they put INTENSIVE REVIEW DEC. 26th - JAN. 5th have them here... We felt they were their minds to it." But the a viable outfit." Similarly friendly Gamblers wanted to settle on their statements were echoed by Rice facilities in order to prepare for the Sports Information Director Bill 1984 season. Thus time was Whitmore and Gamblers ultimately the overriding factor. Marketing Director Jim Paige. "It became clear to both parties Sfa/w2ey-R But there were difficulties which that we weren't able to solve the EDUCATIONAL CENTERS 988-4700 hampered from the outset Rice's legal problems as quickly as they TEST PREPARATION SPECIALISTS SINCF KJrw chances of landing the franchise. wanted," summarized Rice THIS SCHOOL IS AUTHORIZED UNDER 7011 SOUTHWEST FREEWAY Disruption of school routine was presidential assistant Carl FEDERAL LAW TO ENROLL NONIMMIGRANT HOUSTON TEXAS 77074 one; the Gamblers wanted to MacDowell. And so the Gamblers ALIEN STUDENTS. practice on the field as well as play joined the Astros, Oilers and on it. This would have entailed Cougars in the Dome. daily use of the dressing rooms and It is not known how much the The Rice Thresher, December 9, 1983, page 15 RUGBY Ruggers rip Cougars twice to highlight best year ever by Walter Keneally free on the wing for his first four swarmed on tackles and supported Keneally each made tackles that Midway through the second half, The Rice rugby club played its points of the year. Dave Schafer the ball carrier the full hour. UH were heard at the sidelines. Rice kicker Dave Schafer make last matches on November 19 and converted one of the tries, but scarcely managed to get the ball However, the finesse of the Austin two penalties to answer the Texas 20, capping its best season ever. Houston scored again and led over the 50-meter line. Although Club (mainly the kicking of their A&M try. This made the score 12- The team won six of its final seven before the final period, 12-10. Rice could not score a try, four fly half) kept Rice at bay. The final 7, Rice. games on the way to a respectable The third period belonged to Dave Schafer penalties gave Rice a score was 16-0. 7-5 record. Considering the size of Rice. Walter Keneally scored what commanding 16-10 win. The Owls' In the club's final game of the As time ran down, Rice had our university, the small number of turned out to be the winning try record against the Cougars now tournament, the team could not trouble containing the Aggies, who players, and the frequent injuries midway through the period. UH stands at 4-0 overall. have upset a more cocky foe. Yes, scored with no time left. With the this season, the club did incredibly then seemed flustered, committing That same afternoon, Rice you guessed it, the Texas A&M score 12-11, the Aggie kicker had a well against potentially stonger three penalties which Dave played a huge Austin Blacks Club, Aggies. Excellent scrim play and chance to defeat the Owls in their opponents. The players feel that Schafer easily turned into nine which eventually won the division support allowed Daniel Fearn to first-ever meeting. But the kick Rice will soon be able to contend points for a final score of 23-12. tournament cup. The Owls again scamper in for the match's first try proved too difficult enabling Rice for the Texas Collegiate Rugby On November 19, the two teams hit hard and stunned their and the Owls led at the half 6-0. to finish an exciting season title. met again in the first game of the opponents, behind only by a 4-0 However, the Aggies have always appropriately — with a heart- It has now become a traditon for Houston RFC 15th Annual margin at the half. Robert Lain, been strong in rugby and opened stopping victory over the hated the Rice ruggers to beat the Tournament. The Rice players Robert Duffield, and Walter the half with seven quick points. Ags! University of Houston. On consecutive Saturdays, Rice HOCKEY handed the Cougars losses of 23-12 and 16-10. The first match (November 12) Pucksters plaster UW-Eau to gain split was the roughest of the season. The by Dave Desrocher remained his mild-mannered, let's- Morrison and Dave Hirsch The Saints then came out in the Cougars came out hitting hard and Last week Saints coach Bill Ross think-this-through self. When scoring. He felt that despite the second period and scored two surprised Rice with an 8-0 score at said that he was expecting a sweep things don't go his way, he does not loss, the players learned a lot from goals in the first five minutes of the end of the first of three periods. by his team, but that he wouldn't rant or even get ruffled. He simply the game. Remarked the coach, play. Eau Claire then countered However, Rice battled back in the be destroyed if the Saints split or takes it in stride and tries to figure "We weren't quite ready to face with a pair of goals of its own, second period. Charles Banker, even lost a pair. Well, in the two- out why it happened. their style of hockey. They making it a 4-3 game. With seven Robert Duffield and Daniel Fearn game scries against Wisconsin-Eau Ross did not express controlled the puck well and minutes remaining in the second combined for a classic rugby try, Claire, the Saints came up with a disappointment about Friday forced our defense to make some period, the Saints got a power play finally touched down by Houston. split. Ross did not seem too upset, night's game, which the Saints lost mistakes...mistakes that a puck goal. This means that the Minutes later, Tom Hobson broke true to his word. In fact, he 8-3 with Bob Anderson, Kevin control team like theirs will take opponents were forced to play a advantage of." man short (not to be confused with When Ross said that the players a short man) because of a penalty. learned a lot from the loss, he was Brian Prystanski then put ths not merely throwing out the usual Saints up by three on a goal late in coaches' after-the-loss smoke- the second period. screen; he meant it. He was proven In the third period Eau Claire right the next night when the cut the Saints' lead to two on a Saints turned the tables on Eau power play goal, but St. Claire by handing them an 8-5 loss. Scholastica countered with two Ross's stable, even-tempered consecutive scores to make the coaching style seems to be much score 8-4. Eau Claire sliced the better for the team than the fiery final margin to 8-5 with a goal late style- of his predecessor Steve in the third period. ^ Sertich. This, one hopes, bodes After Eau Claire, the Saints pi* well for the team's future. a two-game series against St. Now on to what might be a Mary's College. St. Mary's, not precedent-setting event — a much of a hockey power, is victory which put a Rice-affiliated expected to drop both games. This team back over .500. should help to boost the young The momentous event came in Saints' confidence. the second game against Eau The Saints will then try to Claire. The Saints opened up the improve their record against scoring with a goal by Carney Alaska-Anchorage. The Alaskans Miller midway through the first have in the past proved to be period and a goal from red-hot puzzlers for the Saints. In their r> Morrison on the very next shift. meetings two years ago the Saints The Saints held on to their 2-0 lead trounced Anchorage twice at until fifteen seconds remained in Duluth, but then did a complete the period', when Eau Claire poked reversal of form and were badly one through the net. beaten at Anchorage. SAILING Sailors grab 2nd at Baylor by Stuart Shippey Invitational, sailed in J-24's out of f}\\ The Rice sailing club has the Galveston Bay Cruising participated in three regattas over Association. Races were planned the past several weeks. First came to be held on the bay, but the Baylor Fall Invitational, sailed conditions were so heavy that the in 420's in extremely light to competition had to take place on a moderate conditions on Lake somewhat calmer Clear Lake. Waco. Representing Rice were Eleven races were sailed with one Dave Norman and Stuart Shippey, bye. Norman skippered all day for who together were a good bit Rice; and crewing for him were heavier than most of their John Lane, John Progelhof, and wence LoB competition. This factor cost the Shippey, each relatively ^ team, especially on the reaching inexperienced at J-boat racing. Tocy Clem. GO,do. legs of the course, where lighter crews have a distinct advantage The eleven-boat fleet afforded when the wind is soft. some stiff competition. Teams Norman skippered the first six from UT, SMU, Tulane, and races, placing second or third in Spring Hill each demonstrated i5 sSouthwest Conference are among times. Benzick placed eleventh in the fastest in the nation as SMU the 200-yard freestyle (2:01.79) and finished second and UT finished Uebele finished 12th in the 400- third at the NCAA Division I yard individual medley (3:02.31). finals last year. The conference The men scored only eight also hosts three of the fastest points, with season-best swimmers in the world: Rick Carey performances coming from David of the University of Texas, a Gregory, Greg Holies and MPV? m%i• •!«-» world-record-holding back- Jammin' Jim Brigman. Holies, the stroker, Siong Ang of Houston, senior captain, finished 17th in the currently the world's best in the 50- 400-yard individual medley with a yard freestyle, and Ricardo Prado 4:27.25. Finishing 15th in the 500- Stacy Jones shows the form that brought her seventh in the 100-meter butterfly at SMU —C. Reining of SMU in the individual medley. yard freestyle with a 4:50.25, Freshman Angie Frintlinger and 200-yard butterfly (2:14.32). a 2:30.66 in the 200 breaststroke. Against such stiff competition, it Holies came within a second of a finished second in the 100-yard Jammin' Jim also swam on the is not alarming that the Owls best time. Best, Tom Best of UH, freestyle with a season's best time winning 400 individual medley The Owls next meet is against finished last in both the men's and that is, finished 17th with a 4:51.06. of 1:01.48. Other point earners for relay and 400 freestyle relay teams. Ouachita Baptist Rice on January women's events. Coach Kris In the same event Brigman turned the Owls were Barbi Griffin in the Dave McDermott swam a 14. Until then the Owls will be Wingenroth commented, "I was in a season-best time of 5:08.81. 100 individual medley and Chris personal best in the 100 freestyle training intensely in order to pleased with our performance at When asked about his perfor- Bieber in the 200 freestyle. (55.8) and a season's best in the 50 prepare for next semester the meet. More important than mance Jammin' Jim said, "At the Rice edged by North Texas freestyle (24.6) as he finished third competitions. their times was the chance to meet meet,... Ahh....It's getting there." high-level competition." Gregory placed 12th in both the The Rice women are a Division 50-yard freestyle and 100-yard II team, and thus are allowed to backstroke. In the 50, he swam a carry only nine scholarship season-best time of 23.78. athletes. This is five fewer than the The women handily defeated NAVY maximum allowed by the Division North Texas State 62-26. Susan I teams they met last weekend. Eicher and Barbara Snell were the HEALTH PROFESSIONS SCHOLARSHIP Nevertheless, with a series of exceptional swimmers for the season-best times, the Owls Owls. Eicher clocked personal best PROGRAM managed to garner 46 points at the times in "the 50-yard freestyle meet. (27.46), and the 100-yard freestyle For the second week in a row, (1:00.60) as she captured first place sophomore Anita Heil was the in both events. Snell, one of Rice's outstanding performer. She premier sprinters, swam the 500- FULLY-PAID EDUCATION PLUS MONTHLY INCOME finished fifth in the 100-yard yard freestyle, an event she does If you are considering applying to an approved school of medicine or osteopathy, you may qualify for the Navy Health Professions Scholarship Program.

AS A SCHOLARSHIP STUDENT THE NAVY PAYS: Your full tuition, authorized fees and educational expenses; the cost of required books and supplies; rental feesfor necessary equipment such as microscopes; and a monthly stipend of $579.00 paid directly to you. While at school, the Navy does not interfere with your academic life, you won't have to attend military training or drills, or wear Navy uniforms, your lifestyle is the same as other medical or osteopathic students.

QUALIFICATIONS FOR SCHOLARSHIP: Be accepted for the next entering class or currently enrolled in an approved school of medicine or osteopathy in the U.S. or Puerto Rico. Barb Demorotski on the recovery —C. Reining Be a U.S. citizen of good moral character. Be physically qualified for a commission as a Navy officer. m mm mmm mmm m mmwm wmmmmmm ;!$vl 8sli ';$&! \'S: •MM APPLICATION DEADLINE: MARCH 1984 Baker College Theatre 191Hffi MM1 3® mmm For additional information or application, contact NAVY MEDICAL announces auditions mmmm mmm PROGRAM in Houston at 713-226-2431. MS. «£ fwP mmmm mmmm for Wm. Shakespeare's mmmm mmmm Measure for Measure mmmm speaking and dancing parts mmmm January 19 and 20th SH 301 DE THE DOCTOR 7:00 pm YOU WANT TO DE. •MM no experience required •MM IN THE NAVY.

The Rice Thresher, December 9, 1983, page 17 IN THE COLLEGES Wednesday, December 14, and the holiday festivities Monday, and thus entering the playoffs; and BAKER Monday, December 19, in Baker December 12, when Brown will JONES Coach Watson Brown for making by Marcine Gibson House. There will be a commons hold its own Christmas Party. by Robin Berg the national headlines again by The Baker Christmas Party is study break at 9 p.m. on Friday, Santa Claus, you ask? Well, I don't This week we will be having four signing up as an SRC University now scheduled for Sunday, December 16. know, but then you never do, so study breaks: Sunday, Tuesday, Associate. December 11, at 8 p.m. (not on Auditions for Baker Shakes- come find out! Thursday and Sunday. They will To celebrate the end of classes Saturday). It will be held in the peare Theatre's Measure for Sunday, December 11, Brown be given by the associates, the Isles, and the advent of the holiday outer commons. Measure have been scheduled for will show Jesus Christ Superstar in the Social Committee, and Cliff season, come down to Richardson Sign up on the glass for many Thursday and Friday, January 19 Chem Lec at 5, 7 & 9 p.m. and Dr. Lee. Check posters on the House this evening from 9:30 on. thrilling activities. Karen needs and 20. Admission is SI. doors or dinner announcements Caroling, refreshments, and plenty self-scheduled final exam monitors for the times. of holiday cheer will be on hand as (please!). There are open slots for BROWN Good luck on finals and Happy the Clarks put on a Christmas Court Officer interviews, and HANSZEN Holidays! Open House. Kathryn needs a new Library by Sharon Goldstein Committee chairman. You can So you thought you had missed by Katherine Eggert RICHARDSON enter the Christmas Baking Brown night at the Pub? Never The Hanszen Christmas party WIESS will be Sunday, December 11, at 8 Contest, and you can probably fear! It never happened this by Eric O'Keefe by Dave Chilton p.m. All Hanszenites are invited to even sign up for other things I can't semester, neither on November 24 Congratulations are in order for This is it! The standard by which come trim the tree, drink eggnog, remember. nor November 31. (Again, the quite a few members of the all other college nights are eat goodies, sing carols, catch their Baker Films will present Catch- editor shudders! —dbc.) It's now Richardson community: Major measured, Wiess College Night is favorite victims under the 22 tomorrow night in Chem Lec at planned for next semester, so Richard W. Roan (USMC) for his tonight. Warmup cocktails are at 6 mistletoe, and cheer themselves up 7, 9:15 and 11:30 p.m. Admission is prepare for a major study break. promotion last week; We Are the p.m. in the lounge, followed by before finals week begins. one dollar. Speaking of study breaks, get Walrus and Buon Giorno for dinner at 7 p.m. The featured Study breaks will be at 9 p.m. on out of the studying mood and into winning regular season league play entree will be shish kebab and there will be an open bar. There will be a study break next Wednesday night at 10 p.m. Come enjoy munchies and a little Christmas cheer to break up the monotony of finals week.

WILL RICE

by John Gibson T.G.I.'s Beer Practice, 4 p.m. today on the patio and Study Break, Monday at 8:30 p.m. in the commons. Peace and weird shit be with you during the holidays. RPC by Melissa Anne Baldridge General Cinema tickets are on sale from the RPC reps or at the SA office for S3 (a great deal!) Tonight, RPC presents Dalglish, Larsen, and Sutherland, a folk band from Indiana. They will play at Hamman Hall at 8 p.m. rent payments with a great sound, quite like bluegrass. Tickets are $3 for Rice students, $5 for non-Rice. Credit card applications for Sears, Zales, Wards, Corrigan's a semester break* and Leopold Price and Rolle are available from the RPC reps and at Come to Braesbrook Landing, on Braeswood, just west of Fannin. We'll the SA office. give you one-half month's rent free when you move in, to help with the ex- penses of getting settled. And if you stay with us beyond six months, we'll Perhaps the reason brass players arc£» so cocky is due to the phallic nature give you another half-month free as well. of their instruments. **• If you care about a better quality of life, we care about you. And we show Tonight at the Summit: Texas Pro Wrassling — "Steel Cage Match", it, with both adult and family sections, swimming, covered parking, and lots tag Jeam style! Mike Lee and Danny Burgess-the 'W. Brown Bullies' vs. of extras like these: Bob Brewer and Pete Laun-the 'Ski- Dicks'. Be there. Free Transportation. Complimentary bus, \I:SIM( M >K \NI)I\( *** service to the Med Center, Uof H, TStj, and There will be a Thresher staff party and disorientation meeting for all Rice, to save you gas and parking expenses. prospective staff members on Sunday, January 22, 1984 at 8:00 Larger Apartments. With storage space to p.m. (Second floor of the RMC) There will be a variety of substances match. Plus ceiling fans and dishwashers, in a and speakers present. At 9:00 we will 795*4660 try to conjure up the spirit of George choice of 18 floor plans. Orwell and determine the Thresher's Security. Smoke alarms, deadbolts, and a 24-hour on-site uniformed role in totalitarianism's imminent patrol, with free escort service from your car on request. *** Maintenance. The most conscientious in the city. With a 24-hour hot- Dear Rice students, Cast aside your preconceptions of line, and next day service guaranteed. mating and dating when you walk the hallowed halls of Rice Life's too short to live where you're not happy. Do something about it at University. This is your college experience — you will never again Braesbrook Landing. We know how to give your rent payments—and your have a chance to meet as many interesting people as right now. life—the break they need. Clear your social stumbling blocks by daring to tell someone you have a crush on them. Smash your taboos HAA by stating your opinion about an issue. Overcome your social hurdles BR4ESBRGDK LANDING by complementing (or criticizing) a fellow student for an^nsightful APARTMENTS o comment, an interesting personality, or even just the guts to make a funny 7675 Phoenix Drive • Houston, Texas 77030 remark. For your own sakes — talk to each other!

The Rice Thresher, December 9, 1985, page 18 [redging fine Ledges misclass deall cage misclass: Hello pro wrestling tans! In the first National — Ivan Koloff "Am I your first?" If "student opinion doesn't matter," Mild-Neurotic thoerum). title match of the week, avowed U.S. — Captain Redneck of the "Yes." why did the Hack get his hackles so The following three are Satanist Kevin Sullivan defended his CSA "Fuck you." raised about a petition? Way to hang equivalent: SSWF Western belt, using a Southern — Dusty Rhodes tough, guys! (you're not alone...) 1) Nothing devastating cross-face chicken wing Western — Kevin Sullivan So...you're having problems? It's all 2) Anything to ground high-flying Mil Mascaros, Mid-American — Tully Blan- because you were once a child and Dear Second Best, 3) Everything who gave Sulivan more than he chard had parents You can be my number one. Send bargained for. Montana — Jerry "The King" **—Sigmun* d Freud telephone number and /or photo to Proof (from the Rice University Recently crowned SSWF Lawler Stud c/o Lovett College office. catalog): Southern champion Dusty Rhodes World Tag-Team — Soulman Congratulations! The wreathes that P.S.: I hope you're not a virgin. The following are equivalent: were placed on the doors to the defended his belt against the assault Rocky Johnson and Hulk Hagan chapel lasted less than 24 hours **• 1) Comp 416 of Private Kernodle. "The American National Tag-Team — Buzz Saw- before being stolen. Is this typical I woke up this morning and Ronald 2) Elec 416 Dream" conquered Kernodle yer and Mr. Wrestling II Rice Christmas spirit? If there's any Reagan had stole»•n »al l my pubic hair. 3) Masc 416 employing an effective arm drag for Crock and Bone *** the final three count. justice in this world or the next these Your momma is adiabatically very wreathes will serve as kindling I could eat all of you under the table. In a non-title featue bout, Texan ItllSC-laSS MMM isolated from her surroundings. Tully Blanchard defeated Australia's If you don't do it, how can you get for the hellfire that burns the sick •*» —Beth*•* , C & A kitchen bastard that took them. Merry "If you know what I'm talking about Superstar Billy Graham in a special experience*** ? —Uneasy You huys just completely Lumberjack grudge match. Christmas. then this will all make sense." Look either you take it off or I will! *•* misunderstood each other, but I Current SSWF champions: Dr. Jones Late night, WRC My mother always told me never to Math 381 understood both of you. World — Ric "Nature Boy" Flair »»* talk to strange people. *** Intercontinental Kamala "the 11/30/83 Lost: one tan jacket in Chem Lec on Merry Christmas and a happy New —Wilburrr *** Ugandan Warrior" of Devastation Year to the Rice community! »»* Friday. If you found it please contact The Fundamental Theorum of Incorporated — Willie Anderson R — Lower that crap or we'll jack Comp 416 (known in the literature as Tole. Lovett 117, 630-8579. you. P — Shit, lower the stereo before we get jacked. E — Did he say he'd jack us if we didn't turn it down? P — Sure did. ' E — Okay, turn it ufi. —overheard by Anuraag 11/28 1 lam *** Me and my RMC, Me and my RMC. 'Cuz what's good enough for other buildings Ain't good enough for me And my RMC. *** Steph: that's the story of my life — hump! *** Sue Berget's Law — The number of times "i.e." is spoken during a lecture is directly proportional to the amount of material covered on the exam. —the people in the back row

I;!;:;:;:;:;moLile notes:

Inexpensive bedroom in small house on Addison (Rice Village). Share with 2 other females. Bed available, too. $190/mo*** . 656-6747. Do you need Christmas money? Would you like to tutor high school students at $10-15/hr.? 432-0046 if you are a good teacher and have transf^rtation. The RPC presents the traditional music band Dalglish, Larsen, and Sutherland in concert 12/9 in Hamman Hall at 9pm. Admission is $3 for Rice students and $5 for the general public. General admission tickets will be sold in advance or at the door. For more information call the SA office at 527-4839. *** RG/LSGers'Party! This year's annual Christmas party coincides with a housewarming for David at his new place. Come celebrate the i season with us at 8pm Saturday 12/10 — just bring yourself and a friend. For info and directions call David (524-0724), Neal (988-7548) or Ruth (668-9372). *** Exhausted from finals? Drained from nutritionally inadequate commons food? Otherwise too pooped and tired to shop for Christmas presents? Rice art t- shirts are the perfect gift: nifty, cheap, and practical. Get them at SH 419. In sizes for all your friends and family and your sister's dog, too. $5. Wear, or be square. *** Lost: ladies' gold Seiko watch on athletic field next to Sid on Monday 11/21. Reward. Call 630- 8270. *** One roommate is needed for the third bedroom of a 3/2 townhouse in NW Houston. Unit has cable TV, own washer/dryer, private back yard. Olympic size pool. Rent is only $215/mo., which includes all utilities. Present occupants are - -- RUMS OF PUERTO RICO grad students, nonsmoke.r DON Q RUM, 80 AND 151 PROOF, e 1982. DON O IMPORTS, HARTFORD, CONN. preferred. Contact Syd at 556-5276 or x4844. The Rice Thresher, December 9, 1983, page 19 ;;paicl a