22 V3 The Mail on Sunday JANUARY 24 • 2010 EXCLUSIVE: ’sformer secretary lays bare the cruel legacy

S THE patrician tones of Lady Antonia her generation, was, according to Anto- Fraser drifted across the airwaves, nia, an attention-seeking neurotic with Sheila Hughes’s stomach turned in the guile of a ‘serpent’. shock. She had once been familiar with By Antonia Hoyle Antonia insists that Vivien and Pinter the unmistakable voice, but had not had been living ‘essentially separate heard it for many years. Now it was lives’ before she met him. back, talking about the husband Sheila says Sheila. ‘She didn’t mention Vivien once. It She insinuates, too, that the drinking had also known well. was as if she was trying to sweep away her exis- problem that would eventually kill Vivien AIn saccharine detail, Antonia described Harold tence and reduce her role in Harold’s life to a foot- was not caused by Pinter’s infidelity, and Pinter’s genius as a playwright, his passion for note. I don’t even known why she’s decided to that she was already ‘on her way to being politics and the uncompromising love that made write this book so soon after he died. a serious alcoholic’. them such a unique and special couple. She talked ‘All I can assume is that she wants to be back in Antonia chooses not to record Vivien’s of the poems he wrote for her and the glittering the public eye, no matter how much she claims to death two years after her divorce from figures who formed their social circle. hate the Press attention, or how many people she Pinter, nor the fact that Daniel was so It was, Sheila concluded, a familiar display of will hurt. I haven’t read the book yet. I can’t bring traumatised by his father’s and self-regard from a woman she had long since myself to read it.’ his mother’s demise that he refused to talk decided was interested first and foremost in It is probably for the best that Sheila – a friend to his father after 1995, changed his sur- herself and her relationship with Harold. of Vivien’s who worked as Pinter’s personal assis- name and now lives as a recluse in a But as Lady Antonia continued to read extracts tant for nine years and witnessed his relationships remote Cambridgeshire cottage. on Radio 4 from the book she had written about with both Vivien and Lady Antonia – has not The version of Pinter’s life that Antonia Pinter, who died just over a year ago, Sheila’s studied the somewhat melodramatically titled has chosen to present is a personal eulogy scorn turned to anger. Must You Go?, which was published this month. in which the two main characters dominate There was no mention of – the When Antonia does mention Vivien, she is dis- and other people have walk-on roles. It is wife of 24 years Pinter had left for Antonia – and missed as a burden who tried to stand in the way for this reason that Sheila has finally not a word about their only son, Daniel. of the great Pinter-Fraser romance by dragging decided to reveal what she witnessed. ‘Hearing Antonia talking in her sugary way out divorce proceedings. Vivien, despite being ‘Vivien would be horrified about the way about her pretentious book made me feel sick,’ regarded as one of the finest stage actresses of she has been portrayed,’ Sheila says in an exclusive interview with The Mail on Sunday. ‘She and Harold were very much in love when he met Antonia. He adored her and she worshipped him. ‘Vivien and Harold liked a drink, but they didn’t have a problem Novotel winter deals with alcohol. Vivien only started to drink heavily to ease the pain of Harold leaving her. It choked me up to see her so destroyed. at novotel.com ‘Although it was alcohol that killed her, I believe that ultimately she died of a broken heart, driven to destruction by the affair. When- ever anyone talks about Harold and Antonia, they never mention the fact that he was happily mar- ried before they met. I am the first person to do so. I am doing this HITTING BACK: Sheila Hughes is interview for Vivien and Daniel.’ critical of Antonia Fraser’s latest book Sheila was married to Only Fools And Horses actor Roger Lloyd-Pack, and When Sheila went to work for Pinter, her daughter is actress Emily Lloyd. Daniel was seven. Sheila recalls a soli- Now 70, she first met Vivien in 1967, tary boy obsessed with his teddy bear, when Sheila was a dresser for the Royal Tessa. ‘He was a bright child, but seemed Shakespeare Company. Vivien was a lonely,’ she says. ‘So I befriended him. prodigiously talented actress from As he grew up, he would read Philip Manchester and a muse of Pinter’s who Larkin. Harold was very proud of him.’ appeared in a number of his plays but The irony of Larkin’s famous line on par- was best known for her performance in ents – ‘They f*** you up, your mum and the 1966 film Alfie. She had married dad’ – is not lost on Sheila. Pinter in 1956 and Daniel, their only ‘Daniel would wander up to the study son, was born two years later. when Harold was away and ask me for It was Vivien who recommended a hug,’ recalls Sheila. ‘They weren’t a Sheila to Pinter and persuaded her to tactile family and I felt he was deprived of physical affection. He needed laugh- ter and normal conversation. He was closer to Vivien than Harold. They both ‘She had been flirting, loved him but their work often made them distracted. throwing herself at him’ ‘When he was 17, he developed a bit of a crush on my daughter Emily. He would write her long poetic letters. He work for them as their personal assis- was a very gifted writer. Antonia wasn’t tant. Sheila would, they agreed, work really interested in Daniel. She already WINTER DEALS AT CONTEMPORARY 4-STAR HOTELS weekdays from 10am to 3pm, organis- had enough children of her own.’ ing Pinter’s schedule, typing his screen- Pinter’s work took precedence over Northern Southern England plays and helping Vivien as well. ‘I felt parenthood. He wrote in his study on from* & Scotland from* & Wales from* privileged to be asked,’ she says. the sixth floor at a green leather-topped Sheila recalls turning up at the desk with a lined pad of yellow note- London City South £109 Centre £69 Bristol Centre £69 Pinters’ six-storey Nash terraced house paper permanently open, waiting for London ExCeL £89 Edinburgh Park £69 Cardiff Centre £69 in London’s Regent’s Park the following inspiration to strike. Sometimes Sheila London Greenwich £89 Glasgow Centre £59 Ipswich Centre £59 week. ‘It was like a stately home,’ she typed out his notes but often Pinter says. ‘Chandeliers dripped from the would dictate his dialogue direct. London Heathrow Airport £59 Leeds Centre £59 Milton Keynes £69 ceilings. There were Francis Bacon ‘He paced up and down like a lion,’ London Paddington £109 Liverpool Centre £69 Plymouth £59 paintings on the walls. The whole house says Sheila. ‘He spoke in a bark. He London St Pancras £109 Manchester Centre £69 Reading Centre £69 seemed hushed.’ didn’t waste words. If I dropped some- Sitting regally on the chaise longue in thing on the floor, he’d simply point at it London Tower Bridge £109 Manchester West £59 Southampton £69 the 60ft living room was Vivien. ‘Harold until I picked it up. He didn’t shout but London Waterloo £99 Newcastle Airport £69 Stevenage £59 put her on a pedestal,’ says Sheila. ‘He everyone was in awe of him.’ London West £99 Sheffield Centre £59 would cross the room just to light her Pinter, who had a complex relation- Silk Cut for her, before he even thought ship with the women in his life, liked York Centre £79 of lighting his own Gitane. He bought and respected Sheila. He and Vivien her gorgeous lace underwear and made attended Sheila’s marriage to Roger Midlands from* European City Breaks from** sure she didn’t want for anything. Lloyd-Pack in 1968. Pinter would often ‘Vivien would fix his tie and buy him find work for Roger. Birmingham Airport £69 Paris Est €113 silk socks. Every lunchtime, Harold Pinter, meanwhile, mostly surrounded Birmingham Centre £69 Berlin Mitte €87 would ask me to bring up crystal himself with his literary peers. ‘Once Coventry M6/J3 £59 Amsterdam City €90 glasses of champagne for them both. there was a writers’ conference in the Nottingham East Midlands £59 Brugge Centrum €108 She would tease him coquettishly while house,’ says Sheila. ‘Simon Gray and they drank it.’ Samuel Beckett were there. The ashtrays Wolverhampton £59 ...and many more Yet their seemingly harmonious in the drawing room were overflowing. lifestyle hid a deep deception. Between I don’t believe in being awestruck but it 1962 and 1968, Pinter was, Sheila later was an exciting time.’ discovered, having an affair with BBC Pinter was at his most unpredictable novotel.com Designed for natural living presenter Joan Bakewell. He was also, when he’d had a few whiskies. On one Antonia alleges, enjoying a liaison with such occasion in the late Sixties, Sheila another woman she has called ‘Cleopa- had been for dinner in Hampstead Accommodation and breakfast free for up to two children under 16 sharing their parents’ room and having breakfast with at least one paying adult. Exceptions may apply. *Full price of the stay will be charged when the booking is made. This amount is non-refundable in the event of cancellation or changes of dates tra’ in her book, but is believed to be Heath with Pinter and the actor Alan of stay. Prices are correct at time of print. Prices are per room for one night including breakfast for two adults sharing a room. Most prices quoted are based New York socialite Barbara Stanton. Bates. ‘I took a taxi home with Harold,’ on weekend rates; midweek rates may vary. Offer subject to availability. Valid from 21/12/09 for stays between 01/01/10 and 14/02/10. **Prices include breakfast and are per room per night for two people sharing a room. Valid for stays until 14/02/10. For minimum two consecutive nights. Offer subject to ‘Harold and Vivien shared a bedroom says Sheila. ‘He put his arm around my availability. Photo for illustrative purposes only. and he must have been very good at shoulder and made an alcohol-fuelled hiding it,’ is all Sheila will say. grab for me. I laughed it off. I’d come JANUARY 24 • 2010 The Mail on Sunday V2 23 of his infidelity with Lady Antonia and his callous disregard for his son

Hearing Antonia JOHNSTON ALPHA / NICKY Fraser talk about her pretentious book made me sick...she didn’t think about the LITERARY TIE-UP: Harold Pinter and Lady Antonia Fraser on their wedding pain she caused day in 1980

“That damned Antonia Fraser was Antonia’s house, she was wearing a any rate) happily accepting his fate there.” Apparently she had been white chiffon breakfast gown. She as a spurned husband – Vivien sank throwing herself at him and flirting, floated condescendingly towards me. into despair. and Vivien had had to leave.’ She seemed possessive of Harold and ‘She was so vulnerable,’ says Sheila. Vivien had spotted the threat in her I knew at once that I wasn’t wanted. ‘She drank more to ease the pain, immediately. ‘Over the next two To me, she seemed morally bankrupt.’ mostly whisky. She stopped dressing weeks, I noticed a tension growing Nonetheless, Sheila found herself properly or putting on make-up. I between Harold and Vivien,’ says taking messages between Vivien and tried to get her to see a doctor but she Sheila. ‘Vivien confronted him and I Pinter – much in the same way, she refused. The offers of work dried up knew a serious rift was developing. says ironically, as the messenger boy but she wasn’t bothered. ‘Vivien would lock herself in the did in Pinter’s adaptation of The ‘Nothing else mattered to her. She bedroom and Harold spent most of Go-Between. ‘Vivien was distraught,’ was convinced Harold was the only his time in his study. I’d never met recalls Sheila. ‘One morning, she man she would ever love. She called Antonia and I’d never considered asked me to tell Harold she was Antonia a man-eater and a fake.’ Harold to be the unfaithful type. But going commit suicide.’ In subsequent interviews, Vivien, I had a premonition that Antonia was His reaction was one she will never who initially refused Pinter a divorce, bad news for their marriage.’ forget. ‘He looked me in the eye and scorned Antonia. Her comments Sheila’s fears proved real enough. ranged from the trivial: ‘Harold didn’t Two weeks later, Pinter confessed he need to take a change of shoes. He was in love with Antonia. ‘Vivien was can always wear Antonia’s. She has deeply hurt, upset and angry,’ says ‘Vivien said she would very big feet, you know,’ to the threat- Sheila. ‘She had been betrayed. As ening: ‘If she wants to play silly far as I could see, Harold had been commit suicide’ games with my husband, I’m pre- MEMORY: Harold Pinter, his wife Vivien and their son Daniel in the Sixties perfectly happy with Vivien and if it pared to do the same to her.’ hadn’t been for Antonia, he would ‘That was her humour,’ says Sheila. to understand Harold and knew he known as an actress in her own right never have left.’ said simply, “What time and where?” ‘She had a sardonic wit and she wasn’t seriously interested in me.’ and not simply as Harold’s wife,’ she Within weeks, Pinter had moved out I didn’t see any pain or guilt in him. wasn’t in awe of Harold in the way The next morning, Pinter called her says. ‘She enjoyed the status that of the house and into Antonia’s home He genuinely didn’t seem to care.’ that Antonia was. Antonia didn’t care to his office. ‘He said, “I hope you can came with being married to him but in West London. Lady Antonia, the She carried on working for Pinter about Vivien. In part, Vivien wouldn’t forget about last night, Sheila,” ’ she she wasn’t in awe of him in the way daughter of Lord Longford, was a for six months. ‘One day, I told him divorce Harold because she wanted says. ‘I laughed and said I already Antonia seemed to be.’ historian and, at the time, married to that I felt I was a go-between,’ she to get back at Antonia. But it was had. I knew he hadn’t meant anything It was at this point in 1975 that the Tory MP Sir Hugh Fraser, with whom says. ‘A few days later, he agreed that more because she simply couldn’t by it and that he still loved Vivien.’ now famous meeting with Antonia she has six children. Fraser had con- it wasn’t really working.’ stand the thought of losing Harold.’ By the early Seventies, Pinter was took place at a party to celebrate the veniently moved out. She was as aris- He sent Sheila a leaving card that Daniel was similarly distressed. He becoming a dominant figure in the opening night of The Birthday Party. tocratic as Pinter was working-class. read simply: ‘Sheila, you are a mar- went to University to read theatre, with hits such as The Home- Antonia depicts it as her romantic Yet as the unlikely liaison grew into vellous girl and you have been a English literature shortly after his coming and The Caretaker. But destiny – a fairytale chance meeting. a longer relationship, Sheila was marvelloss [sic] secretary. Much love father left, but suffered a breakdown Sheila says that Vivien, who starred Sheila recollects a rather more faced with the unenviable prospect of and gratitude, Harold.’ there. ‘He turned up at my house one in television dramas at the time, tawdry version. ‘The next morning, dividing her duties between Vivien As Antonia and Pinter proclaimed evening,’ says Sheila. ‘He had dyed remained staunchly independent. Vivien told me she’d had a terrible and Pinter. ‘I felt torn,’ she says. ‘The their love to the world – with Sir ‘She was adamant that she remain time at the party,’ she says. ‘She said, first time I went to see Harold at Hugh (according to Antonia’s book at Turn to Page 24 ®® 24 The Mail on Sunday JANUARY 24 • 2010

®® From Page 23 further into depression, admitting speak to Harold. Daniel had devel- with a touch of Pinter’s dark oped alopecia through the stress. It his dark hair peroxide-blond and humour that she had told her psy- broke my heart. I don’t know if his said he had just smashed up a chiatrist: ‘You can only help me if hair grew back.’ phone box. He looked so troubled, it you give me a bottle of pills Over the years, Sheila lost con- Gordon’s broke my heart. Harold wanted marked “husband”.’ tact with both men. ‘Harold knew him to go to a clinic but he’d In October 1982, Vivien was my loyalties lay with Vivien rather refused. He said he was going to admitted to hospital. Sheila rushed than Antonia,’ she says. ‘He changed stay with a friend but that I wasn’t to see her. ‘She was drifting in and after he met her. He became drawn to tell Harold. I begged him not to into her aristocratic way of life.’ F-words do anything stupid and let him go.’ For Daniel – who is now 51, uses Hours later, Pinter called Sheila the surname Brand and cut off all and asked if she knew where ‘I felt angry that she contact with his father in 1993 – the Daniel was. ‘I said I couldn’t tell situation was much more bleak. him,’ she recalls. ‘He asked me if I had such a tragic end’ ‘He doesn’t want to see anyone,’ she thought I loved his child more than says. ‘If he reads this, I’d urge him in India he did. I said I didn’t, but I under- to get in touch. I loved him like a stood him better. out of consciousness,’ she says. son and still feel empty that he’s ‘We had kept in contact and ‘She kept asking where David was. not in my life.’ become friends. Daniel found Anto- As far as I know, Harold didn’t visit Pinter was diagnosed with cancer nia cold, shallow and precious. I’d her in hospital. I kissed her on the of the oesophagus in 2001. He died spark a tell him not to worry about “f*** cheek and said goodbye. I felt so in December 2008, aged 78, after face Antonia” and we’d both laugh. angry that she had come to such a the cancer spread to his liver. We joked about how she was so tragic end.’ ‘I suppose Antonia must have haughty he should curtsy when he She died a week later, aged 53. loved Harold,’ says Sheila. ‘But saw her.’ Pinter and his son were momentar- with this book she has dismissed With Vivien barely working, ily reunited at her funeral. ‘It was a the fact that he had a son and viewer Sheila stopped being her PA and severe, Pinteresque occasion,’ says another wife who loved him too. found work instead as a theatrical Sheila. ‘Harold read a poem of his. ‘I’m not sure she’s ever thought agent. In 1980, Vivien finally He didn’t look guilty or ashamed to about the pain she’s caused. Even granted Pinter a divorce and he me, although Daniel was clearly now Vivien is dead, she seems intent married Antonia. Vivien slipped distraught. I hugged him but didn’t on destroying her reputation.’ backlash ‘DISRESPECTFUL’: Gordon Ramsay

GORDON RAMSAY has been criticised By James Tapper for his ‘disrespectful’ treatment of Indian chefs in his latest show. More than 100 viewers complained to 116 complaints – more than double the about his behaviour on average the network receives for his Gordon’s Great Escape. other show, The F Word. The 43-year-old restaurateur Viewer Beejal Nagar wrote on described an Indian guru as ‘Father OneIndia.com: ‘I thought Gordon’s Christmas’ and repeatedly used Great Escape was offensive and obscenities when speaking to locals. disrespectful! The Father Christmas The three-part series, which aired comment about the guru was uncalled last week, featured Ramsay visiting for. His swearing was disgusting.’ different parts of India to learn about Another viewer said: ‘I’m not normally traditional cooking methods. bothered by swearing on telly, but I did In one scene, Ramsay – who claimed find myself wishing Gordon would stop he had never eaten a dish without meat saying “Oh s***” every two minutes. I –met a guru and learnedhow to cook guess he doesn’t have the vocabulary.’ vegetarian food. Another said: ‘It is a shame or even a He made fun of the guru’s beliefs, disgrace that Ramsay is being so rude saying on the show: ‘When I first saw in a foreign country though. What an him I thought he was Father Christmas. ambassador he makes!’ But I don’t dig all the stuff about the A Channel 4 spokeswoman said: food. I respect carrots, fine, but they’re ‘Gordon is a passionate character and not living to keep us happy.’ viewers know what to expect when In another scene, he told a Keralan watching his programmes. tree climber: ‘You little f*****, making ‘The series was broadcast after the me look like a t***.’ watershed and each episode was Channel 4 admitted it had received preceded by a clear language warning.’

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