Wednesday, June 13th 2012 Volume V Issue xiii FORMATTER: the Prophet (Mohammad Ali Khanali) PUBLISHER: J.Bermudez

INSIDE THIS ISSUE: Have a great Summer, Sabres! Hide yo Kid’s Hide yo wife: 3 Zombie Edition B YE B YE B OUCHER BY C HANDLER MC CORKINDALE Best TV Show is Back in Ac- 3 tion After 19 years at Sutherland Second- about a dreadful grade nine class she ary School, our very own Scottish had about two years ago that would 10 TV shows to stay inside for 4 Siren, Ray “the McCorkindales have made her quit teaching if it was pushed me into early retirement” her first ever class (Editor's Note, no J n J’s What not to wear 6 Boucher is retiring. that was not my class). The fact that in 19 years of teaching Mrs. Boucher Bookface: The perks of being 7 a Wallflower Ray Boucher has many skills but her reported only one incredibly tough most well known skill is her ability to teaching moment just tells you that No one screams for Ice cream 7 connect with the students she teaches Ray Boucher is tough Scottish lass and make sure they receive the best who does what she loves to do with What’s your ideal summer 8 education possible. It is most definite- no complaints, she is hard worker job? Quiz ly a good thing that she decided she who doesn’t quit and she has never Our Summer Bucketlist 9 no longer wanted to be a nurse and given up on Sutherland. went into teacher college or else Mrs. Boucher appears relaxed before retire- Jack White Just Can’t stop 10 neither I nor any of my fellow jour- Mrs. Boucher’s favourite thing ment. Where’s her usual stern look? Those nalists would be able to put this won- about teaching is watching her stu- steely Scottish Eyes always keep her classes Sabre FM: Uncle Kraker “Oh 10 derful newspaper together. dents grow and learn to love Eng- in line you make me smile lish; it is also the thing she will miss Since 1993 Mrs. Boucher has given most. The toughest thing for her was body in this school would dare say Difficult Life of Grads 11 Sutherland everything she has and always helping students with learn- “Mrs. Boucher never cared about we appreciate and respect the hard ing disabilities feel equal in the class- Top 5 iPod Apps for Time 11 me”. Wasting work and dedication she has put into room, she never wanted them to feel her craft. When asked about some of foolish or different. I think that -Continued on the Next Page Game of Thrones Reigns King 12 her best teaching moments at Suther- sentence shows you how much Mrs. of Quality TV land, Mrs. Boucher just laughed the Boucher cares, she’s not here just for question off and said “there’s too the pay cheque, she’s here because Word on the Street 12 many”. When asked about her worst she loves the students and she loves The Abridged Biography of Da 13 moment as an educator she told me the English language. I doubt any- San Jung

Interview with Bombtastic 14 C LUB I NCEPTION : A C LUB THAT ’ S NOT REALLY A CLUB BY TARYN A UDET Bondy

Arms of Steel: The Final Pump 15 Climbing a mountain – fun (albeit other grade 11 students – Darya hard). Skipping school to climb and Jalali, Emma McFarlane, Chrissie thoughts. enjoy that mountain – even more Masakayan and Carson Hamner Big in Japan 16 fun. Missing school to spend time eat lunch and joke around with the Sabre Trooth: So how long have you been a member of the Best Bud- Blockbusting Summer Picks 18 on Grouse with friends – the best. special ed students of Sutherland. And on Wednesday, June 6 th , that’s We bond with each and every dies club? exactly what I and a dozen or so member, learning more about their Tri-Force Edition Mother’s 19 Emma McFarlane: It’s always Basement others got to do. Although my bum personalities likes and dislikes every knee prevented my trek of the day. seemed really fun and interesting, Work Hard Play Hard: Alanna 21 Grind, I got to brave the mediocre but I didn't join until the beginning Dunbar Edition weather to enjoy Grouse and all its Best Buddies never feels like a of this semester amenities – lumberjack show, chair “club” in the technical sense of the More then just an athlete 21 lift, etc – with the club I'm so over- word; attending our “meetings” ST: And it definitely is! What made you want to join in the first place? End of an Era 22 joyed to be a part of; Best Buddies. never feels like an obligation or a labor. It’s fun . We all laugh and Storm vs Drought: Thunder vs 23 Myself and three other girls joined joke around – even singing on occa- EM: I wanted to join because I Heat the club at the beginning of this sion – while enjoying our lunch; it’s thought it would be a good experi- semester, hopeful to get to know a day I always look forward to. ence to get to know the best buddies. Astrology Jones: Game of 23 the buddies amidst January’s wet When I interviewed Emma McFar- Thrones Edition rain and snow. lane, a fellow grade 11 student and Best Buddies member, what she - Continued on the Next Page Every Tuesday myself and four had to say sounded a lot like my Page 2 Sabre Trooth

B YE B YE B OUCHER - CONTINUED

If you are ever going to become like to take a moment to thank land are: “This is the best an educator Mrs.Boucher Mrs.Boucher for giving our school, I’m sure of that. It is stresses that you must be able to school everything she had to the best because it is so wel- “We at work with young children and give. We at this newspaper are coming and the students are this you must love what you do, inspired by her abilities as an so great. So please keep up the newspa per are again that is what makes educator and when we write an welcoming attitude and the inspir Mrs.Boucher so great it’s be- article we often ask ourselves inclusiveness. Everyone is ed by her cause she loves what she does. WBRT (Would Boucher Read accepted here, and that is the abilities This?). We know that through strength of Sutherland.” We as an educato When asked about her plans for her teachings she has affected agree with you Mrs.Boucher, r and whe retirement, Mrs.Boucher is many a student and taught and we will heed those words, w n e write an hoping to travel, volunteer, and them to reach for the top, while we promise. article we of catch up on some reading. inspiring her fellow educators ten ask ou However, she will still be com- to maybe someday reach her rselves W ing by to help out with the level. We would like to encour- BRT (Wou Reach for the Top Program age you to go visit Mrs.Boucher ld Bouc once a week and she hopes she before she goes and tell her and her Read will see more people come out thank her for all she has done T next year. for you. his?).”

We at the Sabre Trooth, would Her parting words to Suther-

CLUB I NCEPTION : C LUB THAT ’ S NOT REALLY A CLUB - CONTINUED

ST: Now that you know all the eight,” or best buddies, how would you “that’s the fake describe the club? blonde in grade ten. She seems EM: The club is really upbeat weird.” And and fun. All the best buddies when passing have a great sense of humor developmental- and are always laughing, and ly disabled always have great stories to tell peers, it’s so us. easy to judge and label them ST: Do you have a favourite by that one memory from the time you’ve aspect – and spent with them? that is the exact thing Best Bud- EM: My favorite memory is dies changes. definitely our field trip to Grouse Mountain. It was a No one is de- great opportunity for all of us to fined by their spend time together outside a mental capaci- school setting. All the different ties, certainly activities we did, like watching not the stu- the Lumberjack Show and rid- dents I’ve got- ten to know ing the chairlift, really brought Best Buddies member Noah meet- out their personalities. over the past semester. They are hesitate?! It’s one lunch hour a ing the lumberjacks from Grouse wonderful, hilarious, multi- week that is ALWAYS fun, Mountain's lumberjack show Everything Emma says runs faceted people that deserve and ALWAYS something to true and I can’t relay that more attention and acknowl- look forward to! Plus, you get enough. When you walk edgment than they currently to know some of Sutherland's through Sutherland’s hallways, receive from our student popu- students that you may not have See Mr. Gage about signing up you pass several familiar faces lation. If you’re hesitant to join met before, and that feels great! for the best buddies club next in the same crowd of hundreds next year, don’t be, it’s so much The Best Buddies Club would year, if you’re interested! of unknowns. Sometimes you fun! be thrilled about any new mem- write off certain kids for aspects bers next year!” you can immediately spot; “Oh, If you won’t take my word for there’s that one annoying grade it, Emma had this to say: “Why Volume V Issue xiii Page 3

H IDE Y O K ID ’ S H IDE Y O W IFE : Z OMBIE E DITION BY K ATARINA T SAMIS

As everyone knows there have been It's not like he watched 'Dawn of the he replied, "I would personally some recent events that have sound- Dead' and then attacked. These are prefer a crowbar, because of func- Local Zombie expert remains anony- mous ed suspiciously like "zombie at- just raising people's zombie aware- tionality. I could use it to... crow- tacks". In Miami, a man who had ness. The nerd community is hyped bar things, smash windows, you previously snorted Bath Salts or a though. This has been known forev- know." (I tried to stop him here, form of LSD, stripped naked and er and FINALLY going public." but no such luck). attacked another man. He started to Then, unfortunately, he added, "I mean really, you don't wanna be eat his victim's face as he was still "You know, I've been part of a Fa- in close contact. Archery is a very living. cebook group for a few years now... good skill..." (Why me) "Problem you know what it's called, mom?" is, you have to be good at it. Start Police were called to the scene and His mom, "I really hope you're now kids. Hand guns are too inac- saw that the man had eaten his kidding..." curate, and at that point, you're victim's nose and one of his eye- "It's called, 'The Hardest Part Of boned anyways. Single firearms are balls. When ordered to stop, he The Zombie Apocalypse Will Be the best. Make it count." Once looked up and snarled at them. Pretending Not To Smile'". again, he jumps in, "you know, I Police were then forced to use weap- live in the ideal situation, 2nd floor Thinking this was it, I left to my ons and shoot the man, but appar- After the horror of hearing that he of an apartment the only means of room, only to get a knock on the ently the gunshot had no effect. No was being serious, I asked if there ingress (entry) would be the front door five minutes later. "Water is choice was left but to continue to are different types of Zombies. He door. They can't climb. By the way very important, Katarina, fill every- shoot him until dead. Once dead, happily replied, "Yes, there mom, if a zombie sees any light or thing with water as it may shut off. officers report that the victim's face are walkers. Like the slow, shuf- movement you're bummed... so You're all gonna be thanking me. was unrecognizable, and he was fling, walking dead type of zombies. listen closely. Oh! And plant a vegetable garden!" sent to the hospital and is still in Then there's the really scary ones Stock non-perishable food items, "Why Bryce?..." "Uh... for veggies. critical condition. that I pray don't happen when it cover windows, have axes ready" Do you really think Save-on will DOES happen, the running or "HANG A SILVER CROSS" "... no exist?" I figured I should look further into "rage" zombies, such as from '28 mom... aim for the head, destroy the the subject, so when I found out that Days Later'. I suggest to most peo- brain." "They're not real." So there you have it, clearly, I'll be the local self-titled zombie expert, ple that they read 'The Zombie safe and now you can be too! Now my cousin, a former Sabre, was over Survival Guide' by Max Brooks." "You could break a zombie's arm, you know how to protect yourself for dinner I had no choice but to The expert's mother then gets up, and it wouldn't feel it. Bite you and when we're all apparently going to pounce. (You may have seen him looks at him "This is pointless you die, then the virus reanimates get attacked and become zombies. around... very tall, bright red hair, Bryce... why are you talking to him your brain with its functions. I've hard to miss). When asked if he about this Kat... it's NOT going to been slaying zombies since I was 11, thought this was actually a zombie happen because zombies aren't real" starting with the redeads in 'Zelda attack he responded with, The expert looks at me, wide eyed, Ocarina of Time' probably one of "No, I think it's completely unrelat- "Yes, yes it will." the greatest games ever..." Thankful- ed to the topic. I think that some ly the experts mother cut him off, scientists will create something one When asked what type of weapon "Bryce, call grandma please." day and it'll happen. Definitely one would use to defend them- science-related, this was just drugs. selves, after some serious thought,

B EST TV S HOW IS B ACK IN ACTION BY CURTIS GUNN

The final edition of this Book series, where the idea for because he cannot find his fam- year's Sabre Trooth, so sad. the TV series came from, and ily and a kid named Duane hits Anyways, welcome to my se- they also must know that the him with a shovel. After cele- cond issue on the magnificent show doesn’t follow everything brating what he has done hit TV series, The Walking that happens in the books. If Duane’s father Morgan come Dead! I love this show, and it you have forgotten what has and realized that Rick is just an has grown so much. I remem- happened in the past to Rick injured man, who needs to be ber when not many people and his friends, here are the two helped. Morgan explains every- knew about it and the first epi- season recaps. thing that is going on about the sode of the first season had only walkers and that if you get bite Season 1 recap: Rick wakes up 5.4 million views on its premi- you would get infected. from comma from a gun-shot ere. wound he got in a firefight be- The group consisting of Duane, Now the season two finale had cause he is a police man. Rick Morgan and Rick go into the 9 million views, and that num- finds the city is ruined and cov- police station and get some ber is only growing. Anyone ered with walkers, and sets of to guns and go on their separate who follows Walking Dead his house to see if his wife and way. must have heard of the Comic son are there. Rick is crying Page 4 Sabre Trooth

B EST TV S HOW IS BACK IN ACTION - C ONTINUED

Rick finds a horse and then goes into the must escape. So after an epic gun fight of putting farm is but Rick saves him by killing both. Then city of Atlanta, Georgia. Rick runs into a walkers down they all escape to the (CDC) Cen- they two guys Rick just killed friends show up and heard of walkers and falls off his horse. ter for Disease Control and Prevention and met they get in a fire fight with Rick, Hershel and While the horse is being torn apart Rick this scientist who told Rick they are all infected. Glenn. One of the thugs is a man named Randal climbs into a tank. An Asian named and he fell off a roof onto a spiked fence and it has Glenn saves Rick and guides a way that A clock is ticking down and then it reaches 0 the gone through his leg. Rick takes him back to the he can get to him safely. Rick meets up whole building will go into self-destruction where farm blindfolded. Andria and Shane go on a secret with a group consisting of Glenn, An- it sets the air on fire. Everyone escapes with drive to look for a place to live and it ends with dria, T-dog, Merle, Morales and Jacqui. seconds to spare and the building explodes. End Shane saving her life and then end up doing it in of Season 1. Shane’s car. Shane is convinced that Lori’s baby is When Rick was being chased he his and he tells Lori that Rick cannot protect her dropped his bag of guns in the chase so Season 2 recap: The group gets stuck by aban- and that Shane should be the new father. Shane they have to go and get it. After nearly doned cars on the highway. While searching for wants to kill Rick after they get into a fight about getting by walkers Rick and Glenn re- food and resources a heard of walkers come weather on not they should kill Randal. Shane turn to the group and they are going to through and Sophia gets chased away. Rick saves comes up with a plan of hitting himself with a rock go into Camp. T-dog is sent to go unlock her and tells her to wait in a spot but of course and act like Randal escaped, so that he could have Merle when the group is running from she doesn’t. Shane tells group he is leaving, Dale a way of making the group go look for him and try walkers, but he drops the key down a won’t give Andrea her gun back because he is to kill Rick. gutter and the group has to drive away, convinced that she will commit suicide. leaving Merle handcuffed to the pipe. Shane kills Randall and his plan fools everyone. The group then goes into mountains and Later, Carl gets shot while admiring a deer in the After that Shane lures Rick to an open field and has surprisingly Rick meets his family and woods. The unwitting gunman is Otis. Otis tells intention to kill him, so Rick puts down his gun and everyone is happy! Rick is re-united with them about a nearby farm where the owner won’t fight back, but quickly stabs Shane in the his family and his best friend and police Hershel can help them. Horrified, Otis leads Rick heart. Shane gets back up as a walker and Carl partner Shane. Having a low number of and the gravely-wounded Carl back to the farm. shoots him from behind Rick and Shane is dead. guns at camp the group must go get the The owner Hershel, a veterinarian proposes This shot attracts a whole herd of walkers and the bag Rick dropped. After informing Daryl surgery. Shane and Otis go on a journey to get farm is over run and the group gets separated. They (Merles brother) about them leaving medicine for Carl and almost get killed, but somehow find one and other and they get in an Merle on the roof, a group of Rick, Shane and Otis only have one bullet left each and argument about Rick killing Shane, but Rick tells Glenn, T-Dog and Daryl go to rescue Shane uses his to shoot Otis in the leg and so the them that everyone is infected. They all rest in the him. walkers will stop chasing him and eat Otis. little garden thing. Then the camera view changes and they show a building in the distance. A prison, The group goes to retrieve the guns but Lori is pregnant with either Rick or Shane’s baby and also Dale dies somewhere in the season. It was get attacked by some Italian Guidos who because she is a notorious whore. Barnyard is full because Carl didn’t listen and he wandered off and also want the guns. Glenn gets kid- of walkers, Shane goes insane and breaks open was throwing rocks at a walker stuck in the mud, napped and the group goes to the Gui- the barn and the group shoots all of them and the walker escapes and then kill’s Dale when he is dos hideout and they almost get into a kills them. Then Sophia walks out, so after 7 looking at a dead cow later that night. So Carl sin- fire-fight but it doesn’t turn out that way. episodes of trying to find her she was in the gle-highhandedly killed Dale, plus Carl had a hand- When the group goes into the aban- barn….Thanks Hershel. gun….and he was taught how to shoot…nice one doned building where they left Merle on bud. the roof, the group finds out the Merle When Sophia walked out of barn it was a mid- cut off his own hand to escape. season break and we had to wait. So after the Season 3 let it begin! So as you can tell I didn’t add long wait we get right back into it. Hershel goes all the parts, but most of the important ones. Season The group returns to their car, which into town to drink his problems away since his 3 will be air in Fall 2012 with 16 episodes. was stolen and this means they have to wife and family members were in the barn and run back to camp. Other members are he was convinced he could save them, but Shane - Continued Next Page having a nice campfire and they camp and the group killed them all. Some thugs try to gets surrounded by walkers and they all force information out of Hershel to where his

10 TV S HOWS TO S TAY INSIDE FOR - DERRICK G RAVENER

So you got huge summer plans right? “adorkable” in everything she does. SHE is the he’s back on TV playing er… Matt Leblanc. This is a Yeah? You have your job, maybe sum- reason you watch New Girl. It follows her char- play on the fact that no one really knows him for any- mer school, maybe a huge trip or a acter (Jess) as she’s fresh off her break-up with thing but Joey and it’s hilarious. We follow Matt as beach day, but what are your big plans her cheating boyfriend, where is one to live he’s getting a new start on TV on an American rip-off of after THESE plans? TV, yes TV, but when they need a place fast? The answer: a loft a British show, as well as his relationship with the two not just your vanilla-flavoured re-runs, with three guys. This is by far one of the best British producers of the show: a married couple Beverly I’m talking TV that has some real depth new comedies this year. (Status: New and Sean. Sheer chaos follows the three in the show here, people. This is TV you’re going Girl finished Season one last month and has but it fits the bill perfectly for a “scandal-comedy” and want to skip the beach for, it’s THAT been renewed for a second season beginning beholds Matt LeBlanc’s best performance to date. good. next year!) (Status: The first season aired last year and the second season begins on July 1 st !) 10. New Girl (2011 -present ) 9. Episodes (2011-present)

Do you know Zooey Deschanel? She’s Remember Joey from Friends ? Well everyone - Continued on Next Page that chick in those indie movies remembers Joey but no one remembers the like (500) Days of Sum- actor’s name. His name is Matt LeBlanc and mer and Gigantic and she’s just really Volume V Issue xiii Page 5

B EST TV S HOW IS B ACK IN A CTION - C ONTINUED

The cast will have 7 re-occurring Lauren Cohan portrays Maggie cast are no longer with the group members: Andrew Lincoln portrays Greene, Hershel's tomboyish eldest but having said that they will not be If you the series protagonist Rick Grimes, daughter and Glenn's lover. Two forgotten. So if you have read the have not rea a former deputy sheriff from King d the new cast members have been added comics you already know what’s comics County, Georgia, who has estab- to the third season. David Morris- going to happen, but the TV series you should, lished himself as the group's leader. they sey will portray The Governor, a might not follow the Comics as we give a nic Sarah Wayne Callies portrays Lori major antagonist in the comic series already learned. When Dale dies in e compariso Grimes, Rick's wife and Carl's n and Danai Gurira will portray Mi- the field in the TV series but makes to the TV se mother. Laurie Holden portrays chonne, the hooded figure that it to the Prison in the Comics. ries and you Andrea, a former successful civil saves Andrea in the season two can debate rights attorney, who was separated finale and a prominently featured If you have not read the comics you which one from the group at the end of the character in the comic series. should, they give a nice comparison you like mor second season. to the TV series and you can debate e. Two main cast members who are which one you like more. I am also Steven Yeun portrays Glenn, a not returning are: Jon Bernthal, excited to see how many views the former pizza delivery boy. Chan- who played Shane Walsh; and Season 3 premier had. I think it will dler Riggs portrays Carl Grimes, Jeffrey DeMunn as Dale Horvath; have a great number. Enjoy Walk- Rick and Lori's young son. Norman both characters were killed in the ing Dead, I know I will and all tune Reedus portrays Daryl Dixon, an previous season. I hope they make in to watch the Season 3 Premier! insecure Southern redneck who's a new intro because some of the also the group's primary hunter.

10 TV S HOWS TO S TAY INSIDE F OR - C ONTINUED

8. Girls (2012-present) firm, and her colleagues’ and boss- really original concept: What if es’ lives. It’s rather refreshing be- you could go back in time to relive What happens between Gossip cause most shows would pick the your biggest regrets? Erica follows Girl and Sex and the City? This is husbands story but in this it’s “His well, Erica, from her breakdown in what creator/executive produc- scandal. Her Story.” (Status: The the beginning to her triumphant er/writer and star Lena Dunham Good Wife just finished its third ending. Erica is a real character thought for Girls . It follows four season last month and has been on TV, “you know that girl with twenty-somethings as they maneu- renewed for a fourth season set to the great job, the great guy, the ver the twists and turns of jobs, air in the fall!) great house, well, I’m not that relationships and parties in New girl.” At times it’s funny, at times York. It follows Hannah 6. United States of Tara (2009-2011) it’s dark and at times it even takes (Dunham) and her friends as on some notes of sci-fi. This show they’re all trying to make ends Sadly, this show does not follow the is the best Canadian TV show meet, figure out the weird relation- school’s resident Writ- there was because it taught you A crazy Laura Dern ships in their lives, and avoid ing/English/Literature teacher more about you. (Status: This in Enlightened STI’s. The pilot wasn’t that great Tara Alexis, but it still follows one show rapped this year with four but keep with this show because it’s Tara, named Tara Greg- seasons under its belt, which is quality comes tenfold later on. I son. USOT stars the only person job quite amazing for a Canadian TV 3. The Big C (2010-present) hate Sex in the City beyond pretty of playing the multiple-personality Show. An American re-make is in much everything (probably because laden Tara: Toni Collette. Not talks though and if it does go Laura Linney stars as Cathy, a socials of the horse-faced Sarah Jessica only is Tara s successful nursery through, oh, what high hopes I will teacher diagnosed with stage-four mela- Parker) and spare myself from the mural-painter, she’s also a mom, have.) noma. This all sounds pretty daunting obliviousness of Gossip Girl, so don’t husband and sister. It’s a sort of and dark but they somehow turned this hold either of those from this show comedy-noir that dives into Tara’s 4. Weeds (2005-present) premise into a comedy, but a dark com- because it’s a fresh, young-adult dissociative identity disorder, which edy at that. With a limited amount of comedy that isn’t cliché and isn’t causes her to switch simultaneously A “classy” young suburban widow time left, how would you live? Cathy’s afraid to bite the bullet and offend from “Tara” to different “alters” takes on dealing marijuana to make answer is to the fullest, which to her some people watching. (Status: like the tarty teen called “T,” the ends meet; now, that’s an intriguing involves breaking out of her shell and Currently airing its first season on gun-toting alcoholic man, “Buck,” show. Amongst all this, Nancy tries trying to fix her immature husband and Sunday at 10:30 on HBO which or the 60’s housewife “Alice.” It’s to raise her two boys and juggle a rude teenage son which she doesn’t finishes June 17 th . It has already a fascinating storyline of a family social life with her friends, dealers, want to live the world with when she’s been renewed for a second season!) dealing with mental illness, as well and brother-in-law. Weeds is more gone. If you don’t know who Laura as trying to find your story in a comedy than drama but when it Linney is, watch this show and you will 7. The Good Wife (2009-present) muddled past. (Status: Tara had chooses to have the nail biting mo- never forget her, she’s spell-binding and three successful seasons but unfor- ments, the pressure surely is on. believable in a storyline that sometimes This is the legal show for people tunately did not get an order for a How far will Nancy go before she takes some pretty odd ball turns for “the who don’t like legal shows. The fourth. Tara will never always live gets taken down? That’s just cancer lady.”(Status: The Big C is cur- Good Wife follows Alicia Florrick (a in our hearts, though.) what Weeds wants you to guess. rently airing its third season and word is pitch-perfect Julianna Margulies) (Status: Weeds has had seven suc- still yet to be heard back whether or not who chooses to stay with her politi- 5. Being Erica (2009-2012) cessful seasons and it begins its there will be a fourth season but I RE- cal-figure husband after his infideli- eighth (and maybe final season) on ALLY hope so!) ty, hence the title. It’s an hour long There are really not a lot of GOOD July 1 st paired with Episodes .) show that dives into her perspec- Canadian TV shows out there. Being - Continued Next Page tive, her return to work in a law Erica breaks the mold though with a Page 6 Sabre Trooth

10 TV S HOWS TO S TAY INSIDE FOR - C ONTINUED 2. Enlightened (2011-present) So when 1. Nurse Jackie (2009-present) you’re I didn’t hear about this little gem till done Laura Dern strutted up on stage to I really get into dark comedies and globetrot- collect her Golden Globe for her at the moment, this is probably the ting or performance in this. This show cream of the crop of them. Nurse flipping follows Amy (Dern) on her quest Jackie follows “Jackie,” a drug burgers for for change in her life, which begins addicted nurse who is constantly $10.25, right after her nervous breakdown surrounded by temptation. She has flick on at work. She has a lot of baggage: a lot of secrets that we see firsthand your com- she has her widowed mom, her and we get to watch the chaos en- puter and addict ex-husband who she’s still sue when the secrets come give a few friends with, and now she’s got to out. How many people can Jackie of these a deal with the company that left her keep her addiction from? How can whirl and on the blink of insanity. This show she continue to be a mother to her see what really teaches a lot of lessons about kids? In general, Jackie is a bounda- you people and life in general. This ry pushing show that balances the think. It will also give you a better show is by far the best show to air ups and downs of addiction and answer for the whole: “so, what did Laura Linney is unexpect- in 2011. (Status: Enlightened rapped comedy with expert precision, you learn today?” because maybe its last season in the fall but has thanks to Edie Falco’s stark deter- you learned things about nurses, edly poignant in The Big C been renewed for a second, which mination for the character. mentally-ill moms, cancer patients, will air this fall, get hyped!) marijuana dealers, or lawyers.

J N J’ S W HAT N OT TO W EAR BY JACK B ONDY AND J OHN T OPHAM

As two of the most influential male wear sweatpants have given up on Now let’s get to the topic of head fashion icons of the school, Jack themselves.” One more thing, wear. Fedoras can be good or they and John will be teaching you what Uggs; it’s bad enough that they’re can go horribly wrong. If you are NOT to wear. You better be read- made of real sheepskin, but serious- dressed up nicely, fedoras can really ing carefully because if you disobey ly, they look like they’ve been put compliment your outfit, but if are our fashion laws, your name will be together from scrap fabric from old, wearing cheap clothes it makes you put directly on our fashion death- worn down drapes. look hilarious. Jack and John often list. From shoe wear, to accessories, like to share an evening together and to full on disgraceful outfits, we For our next feeble pieces of cloth- sipping our Shirley temples, and will be showing you the “don’ts” of ing, we will be introducing the we like to take a recap on the fail fashion. “hardcore gangster North Vancou- fedora outfits that have been at- ver look.” The great thing about tempted at our school. Finally, we It’s about time someone took the this look is that there are a handful will cover the atrocious outfits that initiative to take on an article like of unappealing clothing pieces all in our junior basketball team were this and take down some of the one which takes us less time to wearing. What happened to the WRONG clothing choices of the criticize them. In a previous article, classy dress suit, pants, and tie? general public within this it was already brought up how their Why would we all the sudden school. If our students can’t proper- pants are perhaps lower than their change the style to an immature ly present themselves, how does IQ`s, but today we will be talking jock look? It’s not like your actually this look to other schools() It’s bad about different fashion faults. We playing in those tracksuits, they are enough that your mother is letting are talking about beaters, puffy just for looks. If your goal is to you walk out of the house like that, “skater/basketball shoes”, fedoras, make our team look good, then the but if you are voluntarily doing this, and those questionable Sutherland mature dress code will do a much then there may be something wrong boys’ basketball tracksuits! better job. with your brain. As everyone knows, beaters are The ‘I’m not trying look’ is what used for undershirts and for physi- It is probably BOB right now if you some students at Sutherland tend to cal activity. You may have noticed are reading this, so please, stop and over-abuse as they walk through the that I did not mention that it is used look around your classroom. If one front door every school morning. for attending class in. THEN WHY of your classmates is breaking the The most commonly worn piece for DO PEOPLE DO IT! It makes one rules of this article, then they are no the ‘I’m not trying look’ is pajama appear uneducated, and unhygien- longer your acquaintance. If you bottoms. This being the most dis- ic. Message to all grade eights so ever want to see us (Jack Bondy graceful image you could possibly they don’t make the mistake that and John Topham) you may find us portray, you are basically letting our seniors and juniors are making: in the highest end retail stores of world know that you give up on Wearing those massive, puffy, Vancouver, prancing around in our A prime example of one of the toughest life. Sweat pants, much like pajama jumbo, skater shoes makes your 100 $ tee-shirts. We might also be North Van Gangsters and his clothing bottoms are an all-time low for legs look like tooth picks. Get with wearing our suede, leather, or choices. fashion too. I can understand if you the program and try some fabulous snakeskin shoes. were in a rush but please, spare us. shoe wear that Jack and John can Drawing Courtesty of Jack Bondy When we asked Mike Normand, be seen wearing; Toms, flip-flops, grade 11 for his opinion on sweat- and dress shoes that are worth more pants he said, “I think girls who than your house. Volume V Issue xiii Page 7

B OOK F ACE : T HE P ERKS OF B EING A WALL F LOWER BY D ERRICK GRAVENER

The last thing a lot of us want to do journey through Charlie that tells of portance to over the summer is crack a book someone finding themselves in the me. So, take it after we did that pretty much the darkest circumstances, be it his from me, a whole school year, but Perks is such Aunt’s death or his best friend’s person who a revolutionary novel that it doesn’t closeted sexuality. normally feel like anything less than a doesn’t read gift. This little green book follows This book takes on some really religiously, that Charlie through his first year of controversial topics within it that you will not be high school which he is utterly it’s been challenged for, but again, able to put this terrified for, and although I thought like Charlie’s diction, it’s taken on book down; it it would now be annoying to read in a way that seems both mature will stay with from the point of someone of this and realistic. I used to be a huge you for the rest age, I found it surprisingly relatable reader but these days my taste in of your life. because his tone throughout the books has become increasingly book was very mature. Charlie is picky. I have a lot of bookshelves writing letters to an unknown per- in my house to place this one on son throughout the story and these but I always keep it right to my are what we see. It’s an essential journal, it holds the same im-

Perks is a must read and the newest hipster accessory.

N O O NE SCREAMS FOR I CE C REAM BY BRAYDEN NEWBERY

When you think of summer, what dows closed then. the government vs. community issue, or are some of the things that first the polite universal belief that every “What co come to mind? For me, it’s the Kathy Michaels, a columnist opinion should be heard. Sure, maybe uld be more accurate sharp snap of cheap flip-flops from Capital News , said that parents get sick of their children scream- to celebrate th against the hot cement, massive “bylaws catering to potential intol- ing and tugging on their sleeves every e arrival of froze discount cups of cola at McDon- erance are a bit over-reactionary,” time the ice cream truck is heard from n Spongebob ald’s, the chilling splash of ocean the distance, maybe that song, to them, Squarep and suggested that the whiners ants on a stick water during a lazy day at the probably should have been ignored. is less like a melody and more like a than a playfully r beach, and of course, the nostalgic Ice cream truck owners that make trigger. However, I don’t believe that epetitive song jingle that signals the coming of an their living on the Okanagan Valley the perils of saying “no” to one’s child that sounds lik ice cream truck. What could be agree. Kathy Erickson, owner of (ren) should outweigh the importance of e it’s been more accurate to celebrate the arri- Scooter’s Ice Cream said: “If we fond childhood memories. What would pulled stra ight from the val of frozen Spongebob cannot play our music on the it be like to never hear the sound of an theme music o Squarepants on a stick than a play- streets, nobody knows we are ice cream truck approaching again? If f a children’s fully repetitive song that sounds like there.” This painful sentiment was we are to ban the ice cream jingle, then cartoo it’s been pulled straight from the my personal first thought upon first it is only fair that we also ban all car n?” theme music of a children’s car- hearing the shocking news; if I’m radios that have the ability to blare One toon? Unfortunately, the communi- sitting in my back yard or on the Direction. ty of West Kelowna, BC has decid- beach facing the ocean, how do I ed that the joyful soundtrack to the know when that glori- beloved dessert truck is actually ous beacon from my I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice tinny and annoying. childhood should come sailing around cream! Their town has officially banned the corner? It’s more the use of music by food trucks, and likely that I would the question remains: will this miss my chance, gloomy phenomenon spread across which is a lose-lose the province? One councillor of the situation: I miss out on West Kelowna district, Bryden creamy soft serve Winsby, said that “[he doesn’t] dipped in chocolate want [Kelowna] to go down as a no and almonds, while -fun city. Music is a good thing; the owner of the truck some loud noises aren’t bad at all. is robbed of $3.50. They give you a sense of celebra- Erickson added that tion or excitement.” Well said, the music is “not any Bryden; what a pal. Apparently, the louder or more annoy- motion to rid the town of simple ing than Harleys and joys was first passed due to many trucks with boom complaints from citizens who said boxes and loud muf- that the songs played from the truck fles, so this is a happy were just noise; one even went so sound.” far as to compare it to “fingernails on blackboard.” She should proba- Personally, I could bly just stay inside with her win- really care less about Page 8 Sabre Trooth

W HAT ’S YOUR IDEAL J OB ? Q UIZ B Y STEPHANIE G OETZ

Summer is coming up fast and its time to current adventures. hand in those resumes! If your looking Summer is almost here Sabres! Time to hand in those resumes! for a job that matches your interests, 7. In the summer where would you personality, and skills well you are on most like to be? the right track to finding your ideal sum- mer job! A. Trying out new places to eat with friends. 1. If you had a chance to fly anywhere B. Looking for inspiration down- in the world, where would you go? town for my next project. A. Italy, the food there is fantastico! C. At an outdoors concert listening B. New York, during fashion week. to up coming bands. C. London, to listen to the local D. Biking on trails in the forest. bands. D. South America to track through 8. What inspires you everyday? the Amazon jungles. A. Everything about food, from 2. Your studying like a mad man for the smell, taste, color and texture. end of the year exams, how do you B. Fashion is all around us, relax? everyone has a unique style. C. Music, there is not a day that A. Get in the kitchen and start cooking goes by without listening to my up a storm for some energy. favorite bands. B. Leave studying all together and start D. Nature, we live and explore it on my own creative project. everyday. C. Blast some tunes to take my mind off things. 9. What class do you have the D. Go outside where the whole world is most fun in? your textbook. A. Foods/ Tourism 3. What catches your eye when walk- B. Textiles/ Photo ing down a busy street? C. Band/ Choir D. P.E./ Socials A. That cool café you have always wanted to eat at. 10. What do you want to experi- B. The new clothing boutique that ence after high school? just opened and is calling your name. C. The retro instrument store you A. Learn from the best at a culinary have always wanted a new guitar from. school. D. Sports store to buy new gear for B. Getting a job interning for a your next adventure fashion designer or taking a course in fashion. 4. If your friends could describe you in C. Going into a music program where I can learn one word, what word would that be? more about music. - Help out with local runway shows and fashion D. Travelling the world to experience different events A. Zesty cultures. B. Creative If you chose mostly C’s C. Musical If you chose mostly A’s For your love of music, there are some summer jobs D. Adventurous that can keep the music around everyday, here are Here are some summer jobs to get you started in some options: 5. What channel do you mostly watch? the restaurant industry: - Working at a local CD or vintage record store A. The Food Network for new recipe - Cashier - Helping out at gigs with bands that need help ideas. - Host/ hostess setting up equipment B. Fashion Television, I love seeing the - Prep cook - Work at local summer festivals with setting up latest trends. - Chef stages C. Much Music, to listen and watch - Waiter/waitress - Plan music events in the community music videos. - Dishwasher - Help out at a music camp for kids D. Discovery Network, I learn some- thing new everyday. If you chose mostly B’s If you chose mostly D’s Working in the retail business is a great way in the Your adventurous spirit needs a summer job that 6. When throwing a party, where summer to get started in the fashion industry. At will keep you moving and on your toes outdoors would your friends find you? the store you work at, it will teach you a lot about - Work at a local SPCA fashion merchandising, new trends and how to - Work at a pet store A. In the kitchen making delicious food communicate with people, here are some job - Work at community parks and forests for all the guests. options: - Garden/ Mow lawns for neighbors B. Making last minute decorations to - Sales clerk give the party a great scene. - Work at a boutique C. Playing the music for all the dancing - Work at a jewelry store feet. - Intern with a fashion designer for the sum- D. Socializing, telling friends about mer Volume V Issue xiii Page 9

O UR SUMMER B UCKETLIST BY M ARINA KHEM AND Z AHRA It’s that time of the year again, from your summer job, and maybe it'll be just “summertime when the livin is easy”, enough for that something special you want. Goodbye McDonald’s, hello HEALTHY lifestyle whether you have plans or not this summer, it’s time to give yourself a Stay healthy break from school and take it easy. It’s time to cross out all of the things you The pressure is on!!! Summer is here again and have listed down on your bucket list. everyone has been hitting the gym for the past Here are some ideas to get you started couple of months to get that “perfect” beach and enjoy your youthful summer! body. Come on though, it’s summer, give your- self a break and be proud of your body! I would Road trip with friends! love to stay healthy, but when it comes to stay- ing healthy, I wouldn’t even know where to Who wouldn’t want to spend their begin! I’ll say it, I LOVE junk food, but who summer with their friends on a road doesn’t!? This summer, I want to see myself trip!? For me this summer, I definitely eating more fruits and vegetables, NO MORE would like to explore more by going FAST FOOD! Since I am not a big fan of the on a road trip with my friends! My gym, I’m going to challenge myself to start jog- idea of a perfect road trip is to do it in ging at least 3 times a week this summer. I guess August! Everyone tends to be busy we'll see how that turns out. and have their own plans during the first month of the summer, so it will Volunteering be the best way to end the summer by going on a road trip with my favourite Summer is all about exploring and spending lots of hidden stories that need that need to be uncov- people and spending some hard your time wisely. Some may choose to sleep in ered which would have a dramatic affect on human life, earned cash on what I deserve. and go out at night, but I’d prefer spending my or some historical story that would answer many ques- time helping the community. Volunteering will tions we have today. For example a secret castle or Save up money! help with your social skills and your work expe- tomb with many secrets and things which are needed to rience. Choose where you want to volunteer be unlocked, or diving into oceans and discovering When it comes to money, I must say, carefully and make sure you’re going to commit sunken ships like titanic and figuring out the story. I am horrible at keeping track of it. to the job. For me, I’d love to work at the Van- However, if you`re stuck at home for a stay-cation, then Even though I have a job, I always couver Aquarium or the Grouse Mountain venture out to parks you haven`t yet discovered, or end up finding myself spending it on Wildlife Centre. If you are an animal person, I beaches you haven`t yet combed. food or things that I don’t even need. suggest you check those places out! If you’re This summer, I have a goal of saving stuck, I'm sure Ms. Giraud would love to help Diving up at least five hundred dollars from you find something that is "you," so run to her Imagine how fun it would be to swim deep into oceans my job. I may think it’s impossible to ASAP! and seas where you can see the ocean floor with all its not be able to spend the money during beautiful fishes and sea plants. Being able to look at the summer with all of the fun activities Bungee jumping world from an underworld point of view and swimming that will be occurring, but this is my with dolphins and fishes, seeing the sun light under goal and I’m hoping to achieve it by I always dreamt of that one moment when I can water is absolutely amazing. Try scuba diving lessons, having fun without spending loads of forget about everything in my life and just enjoy and unlock the underseas for yourself. cash! To do this you just have to find the moment, bungee jumping is a great oppor- the right people to share the great tunity to do so. Bungee jumping is a crazy thing Helping those in need times with! For those who are plan- to do, because you barely trust many people to ning on saving up this summer, be share some things about your life, but while It is heart breaking to hear about stories that happen to proud of yourself! It’s definitely a jumping you’re trusting a piece of rope to save some children or teenagers around the world or seeing great challenge and you will be sur- your life, so you can enjoy the excitement. Dur- many adults who have many conflicts in their life be- prised how much you could save up ing bungee jumping you forget about everything cause of economical or political issues. One of my in your life and just enjoy the dreams is to be part of a team to go around the world speed you’re going down with and find children and teenagers who are in difficult the air going against you, get- conditions and in most cases have their rights taken ting so close to the ground but away from them. I love to help them in anyways that is not touching because of the possible, such as fundraising for them, giving them rope you’ve trusted, feeling like education or provide an environment where they can a bird that is getting close to meet their rights and needs so they can grow up to be ground but not landing. And if successful people and build a great future. Social justice you think about your experi- course is a primary step where you can get close to such ence it might give you a more dreams and I’m happy that we have this course availa- open view of life sense you ble at our school, make sure to check it out if you have know its value. such dreams.

Exploring wild or historical places...or even your own back We all have different dreams and goals in life; it could yard be something extremely exciting or something to im- prove the world. It’s up to you to accomplish these It has always been my dream to dreams, but the key to successful accomplishment is be able to explore wild places positive attitude and to be passionate about what you such as jungles in Africa or do! We hope that you will have an incredible experi- historical places like Egypt. I ence and hopefully, you will be able to cross out every- Don 't I look excited to start saving my money? always think that there are still thing on your list! Page 10 Sabre Trooth

J ACK W HITE J UST C AN ’T STOP BY M ATTHEW DICK

There is absolutely no mistaking who sponsibility – to made this album if you have ever the word artist… a heard Jack White’s voice, and that lot of people throw goes for anything he’s ever done. From that word The White Stripes to The Raconteurs, around… it’s not over to The Dead Weather, Jack an excuse to not White has made his mark on rock and work.” roll permanently. He is currently His distinct vocals, guitar riffs, piano touring this album pieces and his drumming has carried with two complete- through every band he’s played with ly separate bands, and every musician he’s accompanied, one of only men and this definitely doesn’t change in and the other of his first full solo album titled women, which he “Blunderbuss.” chooses the night of each perfor- I don’t see this as his greatest endeav- mance who will go our in his over 20 years of performing on stage with him, and recording, but let me assure you, if allowing him to you like the Stripes for their three mi- give the audience a nute songs of pure overpowering guitar completely differ- and singing you will love this album, ent experience and if you like The Raconteurs for each night, he adds some of their slower and more pi- to the live experi- ano/drum oriented tracks then you’re ence by having no still going to love Blunderbuss. But be premade set-list to warned, this isn’t like listening to To- go by, they simply Jack White looks a little lonely without his usu al ento urage, maybe cheer kyo Police Club or The Black Keys, it’s go with what feels him up with some album sales going to take a couple listens before right to them. you really love it and get what’s going From the intensity and electric pianos. on behind every twang and strum of of "Sixteen Saltines" to the swinging rhythm

Jack White’s guitar. of "I’m Shakin’" there’s nothing to not like Make sure you check out this album no matter what kind for a fan of his previous works. of music you’re into, be it hard-core, classical or even if you He hasn’t taken much time listen to The Beatles exclusively. Buy it at HMV for just off between tours with his various The continuity of the album is something to $12.99, or just download it illegally off of thepiratebay, I’m bands and associates and it really behold in itself, going from a harmony with a student not a cop. shows in this album, showing off eve- his backup singers to full-out rock, to a stead-

rything he's learned from The Dead ily increasing mellow grouping, going right Suggested tracks: Sixteen Saltines, Freedom At 21, Take Weather and everyone he's played back up leading to "I’m Shakin’", followed Me With You When You Go. with. White said in an interview with up with four consecutive piano based songs the Georgia Straight that he feels “a and finishing the whole record off with a soft responsibility – not a guilt, but a re- rock melody of a fiddle, brilliant harmonies

SABRE FM: U NCLE K RACKER “O H YOU MAKE ME SMILE ” BY JULIA G AUNT

Even if he was my uncle I would be tions, and will create a smile on any from frowning. Check out blessed. Uncle Kracker isn’t really a person’s face. His songs are easy to some of his songs! And who common name around radio sta- sing-along with (even though I have knows you might even sing- tions. He isn’t a “Justin Bieber” or a bad singing voice) and will always along to them as well. “Mac Miller”, but some of his keep a smile on my face. He has songs are pretty recognizable, espe- done a couple of cover songs, and Some songs include; cially if you are the type of person has done a beautiful version of that listens to soft ‘rock - N-roll’. “Drift Away” (original version by: *Smile Dobie Gray in 1973). Matthew Shafer, or stage name *Follow Me ‘Uncle Kracker’ is a soft, ‘rock-N- Uncle Kracker has many solo songs roll’ artist. He began his career in as well (including a personal *Drift away 1987 and had been performing ever favrourite of mine, “Smile”). since. His brilliant, strong vocals His smooth silk voice is powering. make any song of his amazing. Whether he is my “Uncle” or Shafer sings his songs through emo- yours, he will never keep a person Uncle Kracker shows off his smile. Volume V Issue xiii Page 11

D IFFICULT LIFE OF GRADS BY D A S AN J UNG

T OP 5 IP OD APPS FOR T IME W ASTING BY B RITTANY MRSIC

You’ve all heard of the typical go what it is. Even without an Internet they’re adora- to’s in an iPhoner's app hunting connection it’ll save it’s tidbit of ble. experience. Popular apps such as information for processing when Instagram, Angry Birds, Facebook you do. All in all, give a and the like. Yet what else is there quick glace at in the app world filled to the brim the app market, with another 500,000 choices to 3) Pages: everyone has probably Google, or acquire (definitely not all free, even used word once in their life. This is other top lists. though most of these ones are), if the apple version of it. With the It’s a world of you don’t know them, then it is nifty things called iCloud you can time wasting time to go looking. write up documents and memos adventure to be and have them accessible at any had. 1) 8Tracks : a hybrid for every computer. music lover who wants to share their taste with the world, and those who want to listen to them. 8tracks 4) Netflix : bored in class? Bored is basically a myspace for different anywhere? Pop in a few minutes of peoples channels of music. You your favourite show. If you don’t look up a genre or artist and get have a subscription borrow one, or hundreds of eight song lists that you use the swell youtube that comes on can listen to on the go and enjoy. the device. The perfect way to find music, and definitely the most convenient. 5) Smurf’s Village: you watched the show as a kid. Now it’s time to 2) Shazam: a simple little pro- create a bit of that old magic. Cre- gram. You turn it on hold it in the ate a fully functioning town of the The Addiction air, and in an instant it’ll tell you cute little blue people. It’s a great is endless what music is playing. Whether way to pass the time, and plus hip-hop, rap, or metal, it knows Page 12 Sabre Trooth

“G AME OF T HRONES ” R EIGNS K ING OF Q UALITY T ELEVISION BY J USTIN SOLYOM

With its inception in April of 2011, after” ending and the “knight in shining armor” HBO’s fantasy epic “Game of Thrones” character archetype. has developed one of the most dedicat- ed and loyal fan bases in all of televi- Martin more than sticks to his word; “good sion. Now putting the finishing touches characters” are often killed in horrendous ways; on the second season of the show, popular characters are often either brutally “Game of Thrones” has proven to be killed or horribly disfigured. In fact, a certain one of the most popular series in HBO’s event in the third book that involves many history, which is truly amazing consid- beloved characters and ends with many of them ering the relatively short amount of being horrifically murdered was one of the time the show has been on the air, and main reasons why the book series was adapted the fact that the network already boasts for television, according to producer David such hits as “The Sopranos” and Friedman. “Entourage”. The title of the show, “Game of Thrones”, is burrowed from the first of the book series. This The show is based on the “A Song of “game of thrones” aptly describes the main Ice and Fire” series, which is written by focal point of both the book series and the tele- author George R.R. Martin. There are vision series, with many of the major families five books in the series as of now, with of the imagined continent of Westeros vying for two more planned for the future. The control of the land and the “Iron Throne”, a five books are available now include: throne made of the surrendered swords of the “A Game of Thrones” (1996), “A Clash enemies of the first conqueror of the land. Not of Kings” (1999), “A Storm of Swords” only do both the book series and the television (2000), “A show boast an extremely Feast for original and engaging sto- Crows” ry, but they also have many (2005) and intricate and complex char- “A Dance acters that add further with Drag- richness to the story on the ons” whole. (2011). The taken to calling their previous unassuming selves books The franchise also boasts a “summer children”, as similarly described in the book. series is great deal of realism, at “For they are the knights of summer, and winter is com- exceeding- least as realistic as any ing” was the way the phrase was used in the books, to ly popular Peter Dinklage won an emmy for his portray- book/television series that describe those unprepared for the hardships ahead. If you among al of the cunning Tyrion Lannister. includes dragons and snow do decide to take the plunge and give this amazing series critics and demons has any right to be. a try, be warned; all of your previous innocence will be fans of fantasy alike, with it often being The plot is rife with conspiracy theories and lost once you have had your favorite character’s death compared to J.R.R Tolkien’s “Lord of political intrigue, and is not for the faint of described in gory detail. the Rings”, at least in terms of scale and heart; extremely abrasive subjects such as rape ambition. and incest are explored, with death often being The “A Song of Ice and Fire” series by George R.R. described in intricate detail. The amount of Martin and its television adaption are perfect for those On the other hand, you won’t find gratuitous sex and violence in the television who enjoy fantasy and a complex and intriguing plot. many people comparing both of these series has caused for a great deal of criticism The franchise is both extremely popular and original series in terms of story or characteriza- among viewers and critics alike, although a fair because of the fact that it is exceedingly unpredictable tion: Martin has stated in the past that amount of this criticism unwarranted. and provocative, with no character safe for certain, fans he wanted to eliminate the fantasy of the television series and the book series alike are aware “tropes” that he feels plagues much of Due to the increasingly brutal nature of the of this fact by now I’m sure. Because “when you play the the genre, including the “happily ever book series as it progresses, many readers have game of thrones, you either win or you die.”

W ORD ON THE STREET BY F RANCES M ILITMORE The newest word on the street Leftist Olivent Examples: is not a word at all, but ra- Ms. Lieblich- Yo hello

ther an acronym disguised as a Ms. Garcia- Hello…? Mom- Frances, word. YOLO is not often said, Mr. Fortin- Ah like the Yo la don’t you dare.. but rather yelled by Tengo band.

kids, leaving adults in an air of confusion. I asked teachers and Frances - YO- Unfortunately, nobody was my mom what they thought LO! right, but Mr. Mikkers was on was the meaning of the right track since he recog- this misleading and over-used nized it as an acronym. YOLO Mom- ?? >:( term. stands for You Only Live Once Mom- Do you mean lolo? As in and is commonly blurted while Lower Lonsdale? performing an act of stupidity. Getting snuggly with white trash YOLO!! Mr. Mikkers- Young Orange Volume V Issue xiii Page 13

T HE A BRIDGED B IOGRAPHY OF D A S AN J UNG BY D A S AN J UNG On July, 28th 1999, it wasn’t a special school but didn’t make many friends since day until my mom and I were driving I was really quiet and didn’t communicate on the highway. There was a head on with anyone else. The only difficult part car collision which completely changed was studying since I didn’t know any Ko- our lives. I still remember it with vivid rean so I was always behind in school images in my mind, but only little work. portions of it. There was a loud honk- ing sound which didn’t end until the ambulance arrived. I didn’t know what The accident changed my mom’s life com- was happening around me. pletely. She was 29 when this happened and it had a huge impact on her life. She People were getting out of their cars had to adjust her life due to eighteen sur- coming closer to our car trying to break geries that she had and most importantly the window since the doors were because of her brain and back surgery she locked. I couldn’t look next to myself. was not able to walk. It took her three There was blood around the car and years and a half to fully recover. I still the ambulance came and first took my remember the day when she came home mom away. I panicked because I was from the hospital in a wheelchair with my alone. Then the next ambulance came, dad. picked me up and I was lying down on the bed, waiting and thinking. The She never lost her smile and always stayed next event that I remember was that I positive which made me really comforta- was in hospital lying down and hearing ble and it helped me to stay strong and to people crying around me. believe in miracles. My personality changed and I started to talk openly with I had to stay in hospital for about many people. In late 2004 all of a sudden twenty months and had a surgery on my mom tried to stand up and it was most my knee, gall bladder, and stomach likely her strong will that allowed her body which took about eighteen hours. Even to walk. She was able to walk although after the surgery it wasn’t getting any she could only do it for a short period of better. I don’t really feel like the acci- time due to dizziness. Fortunately, now dent affected me that much because it she is completely recovered and she can happened when I was so young I don’t shop for hours! remember most of the time in the hospital. I couldn’t As a kid, I spent most of walk for a year my time staying with after the surgery my grandparents since and even when I my dad was always started to walk I busy. When I was a was limping. It still young seven year old I bugs me to this day cried a lot and I was and I always feel a afraid to get on any bit challenged vehicles. The only activ- when I am playing ity that connected me sports, so I always and my mom was base- try harder and try ball. I started to play in my best. It still is grade two and I always came to Vancouver. really difficult to tried my best during a prac- compete during tice or during a game since Now that I think about it, I wouldn’t have come to sports since my baseball was my mom’s Canada to live if my mom and I hadn’t gone knee often hurts. favourite sport. For me it through this ordeal. My mom wanted to experience was almost a win or die different culture and she convinced me to study and My parents always situation because the only live in Canada. Sometimes, when I remember about told me to avoid reason I was playing base- the past, I feel really lucky that I am able to do rough sports so for ball was for my mom. whatever I want to do and also I feel thankful that me even playing (Lately, whenever we go my mom is still around me. I think the incident soccer was not back to Korea during the really made me more mature (I know I can be im- allowed. It was summer my mom and I mature sometimes in school…), a stronger person March of 2001, always go to the baseball and I tend to think carefully. I always try to be posi- when I was fully games.) I had to quit base- tive and even when I’m a bit stressed I think about recovered and it ball after grade four be- what could have happened throughout my life and was time for me to cause I got hit by the ball tell myself, “This can’t be that tough” and always go to elementary and got a concussion, alt- try to fight off whatever the challenge might be. school. I managed hough I began to play to stay focused in again in grade five until I Page 14 Sabre Trooth

I NTERVIEW WITH B OMBTASTIC B ONDY BY VISH KANGA

Hello Sabres! The Kangaroo is back and ing at around age 7, so around nine years for my final article for the Sabre Trooth , I now. JB: Sure, I like them, it’s just I’m not particularly good will be doing something that I’ve wanted at them. to do for a long time--to recognize Suther- ST : Wow, that’s amazing! Have your draw- land’s art program. Here at Sutherland ings ever been showcased publicly? ST: Would you like to pursue a career in art? many people overlook the amount of talent we have in the art department. We JB: Actually yes, to my surprise one of my JB: Definitely not. As much as I like art it would be always tend to look at the more popular (few) paintings was showcased at Capilano very stressful as an occupation. I could just picture forms of art such as sports and acting. Mall, here in North Vancouver. Unfortu- someone calling me asking “Hello I would like 10 paint- nately, it was a painting I personally disliked. ings by Friday!” I feel that it would be too much of a These two are very hard to perfect and Perhaps I should start making drawings of grind and I also feel that drawing is something you can take up to years of blood, sweat, and stuff I don’t like more often (Laughs). cannot rush. I feel that one must take as much time as tears to finally reach a certain goal that possible to implement every little detail. one sets. This is also the same with draw- ST: A comedian and an artist is what you ing and painting and to be honest it’s an are sir! Have you ever entered any contests? amazing skill to have in your repertoire. If so how did you do? ST: Wow! That’s really well said. Last question: do you Looking through many different sketches have any tips for any young aspiring artists? and having taken a great consideration of JB: Yes, once in an art class we were told to pictures, we here at the Sabre Trooth come up with a design for a banner in the JB: Once in a while you should show your art to your would like to honour our very own Jack 2010 Winter Olympic Games here in Van- friends and family and ask them their honest opinion on Bondy as Artist of the Month. Jack is a couver, unfortunately, I didn’t win, I still cry it. Do they like or dislike it about it? What could you do very busy man and I had to hunt this about that sometimes. to improve it? With this in mind, you will be able to fellow down. Finally when this “sexy perfect your art and make it appeal not only to yourself beast” quoted by a gr.11 girl, was free of ST: Don’t even worry about it Jack, I’m sure but also to others around the world. any women, I made my move and asked that the judges messed up or some- him for an interview. thing….What does an artist like you do to ST: Thanks for your time Jack. It was a real pleasure have fun? man. I wish you all the best in your art and I hope to Jack Bondy= JB keep seeing your beautiful sketches for years to come. Sabre Trooth= ST JB: On my free time, I enjoy hanging out with my friends, shout out to my homies the After a long year as part of the Sabre Trooth it is unlikely ST: Hello Mr.Bondy, First off, on behalf N/Fs, DA PACK ain’t got nuttin on us! And that I have met and interviewed a person like Jack Bon- of the Sabre Trooth I would like to con- I also like to play video games. On the odd dy. An artist, comedian and a ladies’ man along with a gratulate you on being the Artist of the occasion I enjoy interacting with my cats. great personality proves that Jack Bondy was a fantastic Month and thank you for sharing your choice for June’s Artist of the Month. Next time you see time with us. ST : This group named the N/Fs have be- him, ask him to show you some of his sketches-I prom- coming popular very lately, would you care ise you won`t be disappointed. JB : Thanks. to enlighten the school on whom these peo- ple are? Journalism has been a great course. The skills that I’ve ST: Do you prefer painting or acquired and people that I have met are very unique. It sketching? JB: (No comment) has been an honour writing for the Sabre Trooth and entertaining many of you for the past year. I hope that JB: Sketching because there is no colour ST: What is your favourite food? you will all continue reading this brilliant school paper. involved in a sketch, I feel that the viewer JB : I love sushi! It’s amazing! I also enjoy Your support is greatly appreciated. VK trolling out. should be able to visualize their own Fettuccini Alfredo; it’s definitely the best colours in their mind, so one sketch could dish on this planet. look very different for two different view- You mirin bro? ers. ST: Do you like sports?

ST: That is a very interesting point Jack. Where do you get your inspira- tion from?

JB: I mostly get inspiration from movies and video games, I’ll tell you man, some designs in movies are incredible.

ST: Interesting...What is your favour- ite genre to sketch?

JB : SCI-FI. I’ve loved science fiction ever since I was a young lad, howev- er, I also enjoy drawing

ST: How old would you say you were when you started drawing and how long have you had this passion?

JB: I probably started seriously draw- Volume V Issue xiii Page 15

A RMS OF S TEEL : T HE F INAL PUMP BY AMIT DHUGA “No pain, pain is for [wussies],” a having trouble raising your arm back up, use controlled The Bicep Curl (Bar)… and Robert great friend (*cough* my brother*) your other hand to assist with helping lift the manner. once told me. Throughout the year, dumbbell, just be sure not to depend too much I have covered the back, legs, chest, on the arm that isn’t doing the heavy lifting. There you and shoulders. Now, the wait is have it Sabres, over. This article is about some of Personally, biceps are my favorite part of the bodybuilding my favorite exercises that build the body to work (would you have ever guessed?), tips and muscles I am most known for and I wanted to find out what part some of my workouts from (according to the ladies), the biceps other friend’s/fellow grade 11 fitness classmates’ the Big Dhuga and the triceps. Sabres, I proudly favorite body part is to work on. Mahsa that focus on present the third and final chapter Ehtemam explains to me while she is shedding the back, of my franchise, “Feelin’ The Pump calories on the Elliptical, “I actually prefer car- shoulders, Once Again!”… this is “Arms of dio because it gives me energy!” Which is great chest, legs, Steel: The Final Pump.” Ever want- because cardio is excellent for the heart, legs, biceps, and ed to fill in those loose sleeves of t- and incinerating that flabby belly. Daryl Labar- triceps (a com- shirts in your wardrobe? Or just da simply states with his “tough” guy face, plete program look in the mirror and say “biceps because it has a large variety of exercis- for the sum- “daaamn”? Well here are 4 (since I es” which is true, many workouts are out there mer!) don’t have room for all 14) of my to target the biceps, but are only effective if I asked Jared favorite workouts that’ll surely get performed correctly. Quinten Ditomaso says, Swant, grade your arms pumped a couple of “they are not the most important, but I find they 12, if he had inches! are the easiest to work on and the results can any last words come pretty quickly.” This is not necessarily to give about Bicep Curl (Bar): This is a great true, yes they are easy to work and results can bodybuilding exercise that really targets your come quickly but only if done properly, but they before the torch is given to me, and he describes honorably, biceps very effectively! Stand with are one of the most important body parts be- "A good tip is never to give up, if you don't see results right your feet roughly shoulder-width cause we use them for lifting heavy objects and off the bat, don't be discouraged, hard work and time will apart, and knees slightly bent as hey, how else are us guys supposed to impress tell. Get a blank planner or book and record your workouts you hold the bar in front of your the gals? Also in my fitness class, Emer Bryan and always try to step yourself up every time, outwork your- thighs. While squeezing the biceps Vicente, grade 12, proudly rubs in my self, and it helps to have and bending the arms, curl the bar face “abs are my favorite because I have The Tricep Pushdown a friend who is just as up towards your shoulders, but them!!” which I have nothing to say determined as yourself keep in mind that you MUST have about other than “JEALOUS!!!” to push each other to your back straight and elbows sta- that breaking point. To tionary! The last thing you wanna Triceps Pushdown: if this doesn’t “hit top that off, eating well result in is not being able to finish the spot” in your triceps, then I don’t makes you feel better that last rep because of a collapse of know what will! Stand roughly shoulder- and more in the mood the bar or yourself to the floor due width apart and your hands should be in to workout. You'll only to a serious back or elbow injury. front of your chest, grasping the bar, and gain as much as you put After the bar is lined up with your palms facing the floor. Slowly push the in." shoulders, lower the weight back to bar down until your elbows are straight, starting position, but be sure to but they can’t be locked (also be sure to Now, final tips from maintain control when doing this or not bend your wrists or lean forward, myself…always your elbows could be severely your back should remain as straight as put ALL your dedica- slaughtered. possible throughout the exercise). Bend- tion into your workouts, ing your elbows, slowly return to the and never doze off Preacher Curl (Dumbbell): this starting position (while maintaining because that will not exercise is just one variation of the control!). lead to the result you infamous “ Preacher Curl ,” but the are trying to achieve. feeling is still explosive, I mean Overhead Tricep Extension: a solid Also, it’s never about literally, your bi’s will explode!! exercise to add some mass to those tri- how much weight While sitting on a bench, place ceps! While sitting on a bench, grasp a you’re lifting; it’s about your elbow on your thigh so your dumbbell by the handle with both hands, the exposure of the arm is at and extend workout. Don’t let an angle. your arms anyone judge you in Slowly upward so the your quest for great lower the dumbbell is results, because in the dumbbell above the back end, you will be the one so it is of your head. who has achieved and almost Your back enjoying the “award.” parallel to should be straight and For any more information on bodybuilding, just come see your your head should not me! Hopefully I will be back in Journalism next year, but till’ thigh, be tilted. Slowly lower then this is Amit “The Big” Dhuga, and my last quote for and then the dumbbell until this year’s Journalism class is, “Be the hero, feel the pain, slowly your arms are parallel feel the pump.” raise back to the floor (elbows to the bent at a 90 degree starting angle). Then slowly position. push back up to the If you are starting position in a The Overhead Tricep Extension Page 16 Sabre Trooth

B IG IN JAPAN BY C HANDLER MCC ORKINDALE

Want to hear a cool story bro? A story read. I got a fortune that the Jordan Ladhar would be jealous said I’ll live a decent life but of? Then look no further, readers, as Carson Hammner got THE here is my account of my time in the FORTUNE, the fortune country known as Japan. that guarantees you get the fame, the money, the b****s Tue, April 17 th and you supposedly can The adventure of a life time begins. On even get 100% on a Tara this very day, the Sutherland Second- Alexis essay with this for- ary Senior Concert Band began their tune. (Editor's note this is trip to Japan by taking a bus to YVR. not possible). We went Once we were at the airport Carson home after this on a crowd- Hammner and I already had a brand ed train and tried to sleep, new experience and we had not even but not before Jackson and I left the country yet! We were basically had Shabu Shabu. Shabu bent over by airport security because Shabu is by far the best our unattended bags “resembled meal I had out there; it is a bombs and need to be incinerated”. plate of beef strips that you From then on we spent the rest of our dip in boiling water with day struggling to get through a brutally leeks. It is amazing and if long flight. you have the chance to try it here than you should go for Wed, April 18 th did get to appreciate the beauty of the chapel it. We have finally arrived at the Narita Airport and its amazing pipe organ. After that we after a rough 10 hour flight. Once we had were treated to a tour of the school and we Sat, April 21 st gathered all our bags and instruments we even got to sit in on an English class. Today is the big day, today is the day of our con- took a bus to the Soshin Girls' School in Shortly after the tour we left for the Land- cert. We got to perform with the Soshin Girls' band Yokohama, there we met Mr. Abe (the band mark Tower in Yokohama which is basically at the Tsuzuki Public Auditorium and it could not teacher), Ms.Shimana (the principal), and the Japanese Empire State Building and we have gone more swimmingly. With an expert rendi- our host families. got to see a great view of Yokohama. Then tion of “O Canada” by Claire Nicholson and Yours I was paired with Jackson Spencer (yes read- we went to the Nippon Maru (sailboat) Truly, the concert started off with a bang and ended ers, it was a struggle) and after meeting our which was kind of boring, and then off to with a Disney medley that brought the house down. host family we were taken out to an all you Chinatown. The Japanese Chinatown is Although the concert was great Jackson and I really can eat sushi buffet. We ate many things I nothing like the one in Vancouver, it is beau- brought our musical talents to the table later that would normally never eat like: jellyfish roll, tiful, massive, and it doesn’t have a weird night at Japanese Karaoke. Karaoke is a huge in- egg yolk and beef roll, nato roll (a fermented smell associated with it. Later we went back dustry in Japan it is nearly everywhere and the soy bean, e.g. vomit), a caviar roll, and a roll to the school for one of the rare band practic- place we went was pretty much an apartment build- filled with tiny silver fish that still had their es we had on the trip and then packed up ing filled with karaoke rooms. Karaoke was so eyes attached! After dinner we drove to gro- and went to our homestays. much fun but the highlight of the night had to be cery market where we were able to pick out singing “Like a Virgin” with our stunning host our meals. The family had money, what can Fri, April 20 th mom, and watching Jackson Spencer literally stop I say? After a very long day we were taken Same brutal wakeup, same grueling treck, time with his renditions of many a K-Pop song. home to our apartment and put to bed where but new sights to see! Our first stop of the we slept on a very comfortable carpeted day was the Imperial Palace which is where floor. the emperor lives. The palace is surrounded Sun, April 22 nd by huge wall from olden times and has a Jackson and I realized how much we mean to our Thu, April 19 th huge gravel walkway surrounded by cherry family as they paid for our Tokyo Disneyland pass- 6 am wake up call, and the day begins. Jack- blossom trees and a moat. The palace was es, lunch, and our souvenirs. It was such a genuine son and I woke up to a very peculiar break- beautiful and I thought it was a great way to act of kindness I am not sure if I have ever been fast this morning, it was basically a dinner. start the day. Later we went to Big Camera, more touched. At Disneyland I slowly realized that We had cooked salmon, fried chicken, rice, which is basically a Best Buy/London it was exactly the same as any Disneyland but it soup. Honestly I don’t even think I had cere- Drugs/Toys R’Us. This of course is where I was just filled with Asians. I had a good time but it al while I was there. After that the treck to picked up a Beyblade (boner-alert readers)! was Jackson Spencer who had the time of his life Soshin began. We had to take a bus to the Then we hit up Ginza; aka the most expen- because he lost his “Disneylandginity”. Watching train station (aka hell on earth), at the train sive street on earth. him struggle to go on Splash Mountain was just station you have to be fast and efficient or priceless. Later we went out for Tempura and sushi you don’t get the train because this place is This street had an 8 story Armani store, a and let me be the first to tell you that you haven’t packed. Everyone takes trains in Japan and massive Apple Store, Louis Vutton, Gucci, had tempura until you’ve had tempura in Japan, it these trains are packed, they get so packed and more. The street is Robson on crack but really puts the tempura here to shame. people are hired to push people on to the I’m going to stop before I get Marina White trains! After the train we had to walk up a too excited. After the street that made me Mon, April 23 rd massive hill to the school, I don’t know how feel like I was welfare we went to the street Today is a sad day as we have to say good bye to those girls do it every day but I do know they that could actually accept my measly dollars: our host families. The waterworks just can’t seem have calf muscles like Amit Dhuga… Asakusa/Sensouji. to stop flowing and it is a genuine struggle to consol our families that have treated us as one of their own This place is a shopping village with cheap for almost a week. Once we arrived at the school we got to sit in prices but great products; it is here that my - Continued on the on a lovely church service, while I did not wallet got a lot lighter. Also there was a huge Next Page comprehend a single word of the service I temple where you could get your fortune Volume V Issue xiii Page 17

B IG IN J APAN - C ONTINUED We promise them that we will see them again and we hid off to the next city. After a short flight out Haneda Airport we depart for Komatsu. Komatsu is nothing like Yokohama, it is a suburb like city with warm weather and it doesn’t have the busy feel that the downtown city of Yokohama has. Also for some reason every- one drives there and they have TVs at the front of their cars that the watch while they drive…Safe much? I enjoyed Komatsu, but nowhere near as much as Yoko- hama.

We arrived at Komatsumeiho school for a welcome ceremony. The conductor (Mr.Saito) begins to put on a Luongo jersey as “Hockey Night in Canada” rings through our ears and suddenly it seems all of us begin to scowl as today was the day we found out from a phone that our Vancouver Canucks were knocked out of the note, I can barely write readable English, let alone Thur, April 26 th playoffs. Later we met our host fami- Japanese. Later we had another band practice and Another sad goodbye, another trek to an air- lies and began the routine we started then we went home and I watched Jackson get frus- port, and I am in the worst mood ever. I just in Yokohama all over again. trated over a nine year old kid who causing him to want to go home because I am sick of fish, and lose a “team death match” in MW2. (Editors note: I’ve been missing too many classic Dean Tue, April 24 th sad life, Jackson) Moncado personal stories. We finally leave We begin our day at Meiho high around 5pm and are headed home. school where we got to sit in on an Wed, April 25 English class and a Calligraphy class. You know how Ms. Permanand was Today we got to visit the beautiful Kenrokuen gar- Japan, a country I knew nothing about and yet always hard on us in French? While dens. It is a massive garden with very old fountains, now I consider it one of my favourite places on believe me when I tell you that this trees, and beautiful flowers. Later we got to go to a Earth. I hope this account of my time in Japan English teacher makes the Ninja Temple where we saw sliding doors, hidden teaches you the readers about how much fun a “Perminator” seem like a warm fuzzy stairs, hidden rooms, and even a suicide room. The cultural experience can be. I hope this inspires kitty. Ninja Temple was spectacular. After that we had you to go out and have your own adventure our final concert at Meiho School. Later we went to because honestly it will change your life. I She yells, she snaps, she is ruth- a BBQ your own food kind of restaurant; it was know this adventure changed my life and I less…but she gets results. Calligraphy really nice to finally have some red meat. Then we hope this article changes yours. was much more peaceful; we learned packed up, headed to bed, and prepared ourselves to write our names in Japanese in this for a long flight home. class…while some of us did. (Editors Page 18 Sabre Trooth

B LOCKBUSTING S UMMER PICKS BY NATHAN M AYES With summer just around the corner sequel. who directed Wanted behind and a plethora of a new movies coming, The this thing, so I see a wild ride some catch my attention more than Amazing to be had. And it’s just nice to others. I’m going to shed some light on Spider- see some vampires in a movie some films you might have heard of, Man that don’t sparkle. and hype you guys up for some very, looks ok very, very big releases this summer from Ted – Release Date: June 29 th *cough cough Batman cough*. So trailers, Starring: Mark Wahlberg, here’s a few of my most anticipated but there Mila Kunis and Seth MacFar- movies of summer 2012. Note: My list seems to lane of most anticipated movies only include be some movies released after classes end (June major Not your typical Build a Bear Workshop bear “A story centered on a man 15 th ) and when school comes back after origin and his teddy bear, who summer (September 4 th ), sor- changes comes to life as the result of a ry Prometheus. (like Uncle Ben may not die!), and as a whole childhood wish.” seems a little unnecessary not to mention the Source: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1637725/ The Dark Knight Rises - Release Date: costume isn’t as cool too. There are some things July 20 th I’m looking forward too though, like the lack of Why I want to see it? – Seth Macfarlane finally gets Starring: Christian Bale, Anne Hatha- Kirsten Dunst and Tobey McGuire. Probably a feature length film getting to play stuffed animal way and Tom Hardy the most exciting thing I can’t wait to see is Peter Griffin, I’m down. The trailers are also pretty “Eight years after Batman took the fall Peter Parker in high school, being a nerd, who funny; the character of Ted seems really outrageous for Two Face's crimes, a new terrorist makes web shooters (I love the web shooters!) and will probably have the usual MacFarlane flare, leader, Bane, overwhelms Gotham's Spider-Man doesn’t really even stand a chance and Mark Wahlberg playing a dumb guy, which finest, and the Dark Knight resurfaces coming out 2 weeks before Batman, and coming looks rather entertaining. Also, Mila Kunis, that is to protect a city that has branded him out the same year as The Avengers. Good luck all. an enemy.” Spidey. Source: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1 Brave - Release Date: June 22 nd 345836/ Seeking a Friend for the End of the World - Release Starring: Emma Thompson, Kelly MacDonald and Date: June 22 nd Kevin McKidd Why I want to see it?- Christopher Starring: Keira Knightley and Steve Carrell “Determined to make her own path in life, Princess Nolan’s Batman movies are a couple of Merida defies a custom that brings chaos to her my all time favourites, not to mention “As an asteroid nears Earth, a man finds him- kingdom. Granted one wish, Merida must rely on I’m a pretty big Batman fan in gen- self alone after his wife leaves in a panic. He her bravery and her archery skills to undo a beastly eral. The Dark Knight Rises has been decides to take a road trip to reunite with his curse.” hyped to be the best Batman film yet, high school sweetheart. Accompanying him is a Source: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1217209/ and after The Avengers it needs to im- neighbor who inadvertently puts a wrench in his press even more than it had to before. plan.” Why I want to see it? – It’s a Pixar movie, why Everything about this movie is enticing. Source: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1307068 wouldn’t I want to see it? (Unless it’s another Cars A few new characters (one who may / movie, no thanks.) Brave is also the first Pixar mov- have a lot more importance than what’s ie to have a female protagonist, and overall has a been shown), a very large time jump Why I want to see it? - With all the end of the very different feel to it, which should be fun, and (double the amount of time actually world panic that’s been going on it’s just nice to the characters are Scottish (bonus points). Now I’m between the two movies), and a super see an apocalypse movie that not sure Pixar secret ending that no one in the cast takes a lighter tone to it. has different was allowed to have up until it actually After watching the trailer, I creative teams happened. Not to mention all the new can tell there will be laughs on their movies Bat gadgets! This film has been a long to be had and lot of shenani- but the trailer time coming and the world is waiting gans to be seen. S eeking a says that the for the epic conclusion. Friend also just gives off that people who vibe of a possibly heart made the really The Amazing Spider-Man warming story too. This good ones (like Release Date: July 3 rd movie could show that the Up and Toy Starring: Emma Stone, Andrew Gar- end of the world isn’t so bad, Story 3) are be- hind this, so it field and Rhys Ifan if you have a friend. (Cue Dark Knight Rises + Josph Gordon corny background music.) should be pretty “Peter Parker finds a clue that might Levitt = Batman Beyond??? freaking fantas- help him understand why his parents Abraham Lincoln: Vampire tic. disappeared when he was young. His Hunter - Release Date: June path puts him on a collision course with 22 nd I will definitely try to scrounge up the cash to see Dr. Curt Connors, his father's former Starring: Benjamin Walker and Rufus Sewell every one of these movies this summer, and my partner.” amount of movie popcorn intake has been severely Source: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0 “Abraham Lincoln, the 16th President of the lacking. This list has movies that I think anyone 948470/ United States, discovers vampires are planning could find at least one of these interesting and to take over the United States. He makes it his should also try and give them all a try. But if you Why I want to see it? - Well, to be total- mission to eliminate them.”Source: can only afford to see one, see the Batman movie. ly honest I want to see the new Spider- http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1611224/ Why? Because Batman. Man to watch it fail. There have been rumours that Sony isn’t very pleased Why I want to see it? – Abraham Lincoln. As a with the end product and is already vampire hunter! The concept alone sounds like switching up the creative team for the a fun ride. There’s also Tim Burton and the guy Volume V Issue xiii Page 19 T RI -FORCE A DDITION M OTHER ’ S B ASEMENT BY THE P ROPHET , S AMIR , R YAN M CC ORMICK As the school year wraps to an end, it worst in all there was. I also want also ends the year for some of previous to point out that most Kinect Journalists, the grade 12’s. Now obvious- Games are terrible, because of their ly we can’t let this school year end with- lack of everything. How terrible out a bang and that’s exactly what we’re you say? Like don’t-waste-your going to do. Welcome to the Mother’s money-on-this-game-because-it’s- Basement Tri-Force Addition. You’ve going-to-be-leaving-you-unsatisfied- probably already met them before, as just-like-you-sacrificing-your-video- they have written for Mother’s Basement. games-for-your-“girlfriend”- Now I have no idea how I was talked terrible. into this, because as you may or may not know, the Prophet is a lone-wolf badass. I Samir's Choice : There’s always bad guess just this one time because one of games out there, crawling in the our more interesting writers is going to seedy underbelly, just beneath leave. Now you’ve probably not faced media-awareness. But the one something this extravagant as this, but game that makes me want to tear don’t worry, we’ll leave you breathless. up all my signed photos of George EA just sucks, don’t even try to tell us otherwise Lucas is Kinect Star Wars. Not Game of the Year every subject needs to be made into a Kinect Prophet's Choice : Hmm, this is tricky as we dance-game, Microsoft. Especially Star Wars. Best Game in History did have quite good releases in the What exactly do stormtroopers dancing to Prophet's Choice : Now there are many contenders for 2011/2012 year but I have to say that this horrible pop music have to do with this clas- this title, but I think this title should be given to award in my opinion will have to go to sic, pillaged franchise? Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. This game is Diablo III. Now, this actually came out simply amazing. It was made in 1998 and it was not too long ago, but this game has prob- Ryan's Choice : Any movie crossover for any later remade for the 3DS (and even that version is ably been really anticipated by most of platform ever. They are unilaterally terrible great). If you haven’t played this well, what was the video game fan base. It’s a great and if you buy them you should feel bad. your childhood? HOW DARE YOU CALL game, and I assure you to go pick it up if YOURSELF A GAMER?! you so do please, but if you don’t, well Worst Game in History there’s other decent games out there too Prophet's Choice: Oh boy, this’ll be fun. The Samir's Choice : Tennis for Two. This was the first so don’t be too bummed. Atari 2600, a console which not many of [you] video game ever! This little blip on a tiny screen readers will know, probably was the best put- would lead to eye-melting graphics, epic stories and Samir's Choice : The 2011/12 timeframe ting terrible games on the market. I actually fun that hasn’t been known since the outdoors was didn’t provide seem to wow me as much had the unfortunate luck of owning one, once discovered. as it catered others with games like upon a time. Anyways, there’s a port for Pac Skyrim and Modern Warfare 3. A few Man on the Atari 2600 and let me get this Ryan's Choice : The Legend of Zelda: The Ocarina of did stand out for me though: Infamous 2, straight, Pac Man is amazing. Pac Man is time. Who doesn’t love Legend of Zelda?(While Uncharted 3, Batman: Arkham City, probably one of the greatest ancestors of gam- that was a rhetorical question, there is still a wrong Bastion and Gotham City Impostors ing in all time. Now you may ask, then why is answer) This game was great overall, except for the (overlooked, multiplayer game that it so terrible on the Atari? Well I don’t know water temple, which nearly caused me several aneu- blends Team Fortress 2 with Call of Duty about you, but if you EVER played this, you rysms. and Batman influences). But if Rayman will soon realise the terribadness of this game. Origins didn’t make me cry childhood- The sound is terrible, Pac Man’s traditional Best Company based tears of joy, then I don’t know “wakka wakka wakka wakka” sounds like what did. 2D and beautifully crafted, “bonk bonk bonk” and the arrogance of the Prophet's Choice : Riot Games. They have excellent oozing with charm and crazy gameplay, company just adds to it. Now it is the best support, great mods, and an overall great game. Rayman definitely takes the imaginary selling game on the Atari Console, but I think award this time with its homage to the it’s only because people loved Pac Man. Atari Samir's Choice : CD Projekt is a little company out in past. produce 12 million copies of this game, while Poland, best know for producing the Witcher series. only 10 million Atari’s were sold at the time. Recently, CD Projekt released an “enhanced edi- Ryan's Choice : This is a tough one, be- It’s like this; lots of people love Call of Duty: tion”, giving out loads of brand new content and an cause there have been so many good Modern Warfare, but people only bought even better look for free. That’s right: the equivalent games released in the past year, but deus MW3 just because of the title and if they knew of a twenty dollar DLC, but for free. The Polish are ex Human revolution takes the proverbial how bad this game is they probably won’t rad. cake(it’s a lie). It has great graphics, good have bought it. - Continued on the Next Page gameplay, an engaging story, and while the protagonist never asked for this, what Samir's Choice : Tennis for Two. God this game more could you ask for in a game? was so bad. It was just two lines hitting a line Can’t beat the tri-force sorry bro. over a line. The graphics were just awful. Worst Game of the Year Prophet's Choice: These are not hard to Ryan's Choice : Extreme paintbrawl. You proba- point out, 99% of the time Movies that bly haven’t heard of this, and for good reason. are later made into video games are usu- The game is a poorly, and I mean extremely ally the WORST. To further make my poorly, modded version of Duke Nukem 3D, point, take a look at Transformers: Dark with abysmal AI, bugs from here to the far of the Moon. I guess no CGI effects or side of pluto, and numerous other issues, hot girls can save the Transfomer’s Video probably owing to its two week production Game Series from being the absolute time. Page 20 Sabre Trooth

T HE T RIFORCE M OTHER ’S BASEMENT - CONTINUED

Ryan's Choice : In the world of video- Samir's Choice : With Nintendo, Sony and Microsoft games, there is one company that stands pushing gimmicks and shoving motion control Ryan's Choice : Normally, I would ridicule the 360, but… actual- above all the rest. This company is down our throats, it’s really no wonder that the PC ly, the 360 has no good exclusives. You have gears of war, and Valve, creators of the online video game is this year’s top platform. Not to mention that it is halo, which are essentially the same games, except halo was store/community Steam. They spotlight widely controlled by Steam, the player-friendly good at one point. indie games, have huge sales all the game store that keeps on giving. However, look for time, and are responsible for Portal and the WiiU to bring a new deck of cards to the table in Best Exclusive (PS3) Portal 2. the future. Prophet's Choice: I think I’ll agree with Samir on this one, inFa- mous is a great series especially because it has a unique story- Worst Company Ryan's Choice : Which platform doesn’t have gim- line where you could actually choose to be good or evil. Even Prophet's Choice: EA. No further com- micky motion controls and a community of imma- though evil is the easy mode version of the game, playing as the ments. ture children? If you answered anything besides the good side with your awesome lightning attacks is purely tons of PC, I'm going to have to ask you to leave. The PC is fun. Probably one of the best games on the PS3, in my opinion Samir's Choice: EA. Surprised? Really? the top console because it does everything a regular of course. Didn’t think so. Not only is EA the console does, but better, and it has steam. worst video game company of the year, Samir's Choice : While the Uncharted series is one of the most but also the worst company in all of the Best Exclusive (Wii) praised games on the Playstation, it’s distant cousin Infamous US! (as named by The Consumerist) It Prophet's Choice: Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword is usually overlooked. The idea is simple: give the player rad takes some dedication to poor service, and Xenoblade Chronicles. They’re tied in my mind superpowers, a sandbox city and ethical choices that determine DLC rape and penny snatching like it’s for the best game on the Wii. Both are great games, whether you will be known as a hero or villain. Infamous 2 going out of style to earn that title. amazing storyline, great controls, great graphics – takes the crown for best PS3 exclusive due to its immense im- you get the point. Buy them if you haven’t already. provement since its prequel, thrilling plot, explosiongasmic Ryan's Choice: EA is not just the worst Though the majority of games on the Wii aren’t that gameplay and crazy new superpowers, as well as an online gaming company, but is the worst com- fun, hence why Nintendo is trying to move past the aspect where you can create and play your own missions. pany in America according to Consum- Wii with their latest console the Wii U, these two erist. They buy out smaller studios re- are absolutely amazing games . sponsible for popular games, like mass Ryan's Choice : Best exclusive(PS3): The Resistance series as a effect, then twist the games into an Samir's Choice : The Wii’s on the downfall, but its last whole are great, and it’s a shame they aren't on PC. . unrecognizable mess. They are responsi- hurrah was definitely The Legend of Zelda: Sky- ble for the mass effect 3 fiasco, and are ward Sword. You know the story: Link’s beloved Best Indie Game behind Star wars: the old republic, or as Zelda is snatched away by some unspeakable evil, Prophet's Choice : Bastion. This game has one of THE best or- I call it, The TORtanic. and Link must go on a mad quest (usually with an chestrated music. It’s simply breath taking. I love this game so overly abusive sidekick) to retrieve her and save the much. The style of the game is really well done, and it’s obvi- Biggest Disappointment land. The game took a few risks with characters and ous the developers spent a lot of time on this game just because Prophet's Choice : Halo Reach. This game the watercolour-stylized world, but in the end gave of the way this game flows. It really feels like you’re part of the leaves you craving for much more. It gamers the finely-tuned, Wiimote-controlled game game, and I think that’s what I love most about Bastion. This is has the same platform as Halo 3, and they craved. one of those games where it’ll be hard to put down, even after there are no further improvements to the you’re finished the storyline. This game is just overall an graphics. The game is overall somewhat Ryan's Choice : Mario galaxy 1 or 2, because Mario AMAZING RPG, and I think that all RPG fans should check fun, but it’s like CoD MW3. People is awesome. this game out. only bought it because of the title. And don’t even get me started on armor Best Exclusive (Xbox 360) Samir's Choice : Bastion. This one plucked the win like a ripe abilities. To me, that’s just plain stupid. Prophet's Choice: Gear of War 3. Overall great game, fruit off the lowest branch of the tree. The one plucked the win It’s like playing racing games for the if you want my personal opinion, it’s the same thing like a ripe fruit off the lowest branch of the tree. The tree of storyline. as above. winning. The Bastion follows a boy tasked with rebuilding the destroyed world floating in the sky. Beautifully crafted world + Samir's Choice : Halo 6: The Ballad of Marcus Fenix. exciting storyline + narrator with a voice that makes your ears Samir's Choice : For everyone else, this Halo’s latest installment follows Gears of War star drool = indie game winning. year’s big disappointment easily goes to Marcus Fenix in the zaniest crossover yet. Trapped Duke Nukem Forever: an awful game on an alien planet, Marcus Fenix has no choice but Ryan's Choice : Serious Sam 3: BFE. Who doesn’t love a good that took 12 years to excrete. For me, it to team up with the spartans to defeat the cove- old fashioned shooter where the enemies are disgusting aliens, was RAGE. Set in a (very brown) future nant/locust threat in a game of Dance Central! the protagonist is a manly badass, the guns are completely wasteland you must... well I’m not Nah, I’m just screwing with you, I don’t own an ridiculous, and your melee weapon is a huge sledgehammer? really sure what you were supposed to Xbox. What’s a Mister Chef? Also, there is no copy protection per se, but if you have a pirat- do here. Shoot people and move to the ed version of the game, you get to fight a gigantic, next area, I suppose. Dazzling graphics invincible scorpion. turned muddy, and jaw-dropping game- play turned repetitive and redundant. Worst Indie Game Broke my heart clean in half. Samir's Choice : Avatar Planking. What in the name of all that is motion controlled is this? Basi- Ryan's Choice : Duke Nukem Forever. 12 cally: you use the Kinect to pretend to lie on years in development and it still sucked. things, popularized by an internet phenomenon That’s all I will say. turned mainstream occurrence. Just kill me now and it’ll all be said and done. Best Platform Prophet's Choice : The PC wins it for me Ryan's Choice : No Luca No. You literally press a as well. Later in the future I think all button to keep a cat from drinking your milk. consoles will realise that they were 0/10 apply yourself. idiots with the Motion Controls. Or at least I hope they do. Prophet's Choice : No Comment on this.

Just your typical weekend hang out with the guys, nothing to see here. Volume V Issue xiii Page 21

W ORK H ARD PLAY HARD A LANNA D UNBAR E DITION BY CASSIE Volunteer work is a very important thing around a Alanna and one of her dogs, Benji school and in the community. Having specific students Cassie: Alright, now we get ready to volunteer and work to make the school a down to business, the serious better place is why our schools work out so well. Alan- questions begin! If a movie were na Dunbar, a grade 11 student, is no stranger when it to be made about your life, who comes to volunteering. I got the chance to sit down would play you? with her and talk to her about her volunteer work around the community. Alanna: Dakota Fanning!!!

Cassie: You were very busy a couple months ago, what Cassie: Who would play me? was your schedule like? Alanna: Jack Black Alanna: In September, I did rowing three days a week, buddy reading once a week and had a BCIT photog- Cassie: Thank you, that’s very raphy course once a week. I also went to youth and reassuring. Now, what are your was a member of the Sutherland SLC along with doing views on Snooki’s unborn child? grade 11 at Sutherland. Also, now I work at Starbucks about four times a week. Alanna: Snooki’s baby will be born orange and will be taking Cassie: ZOINKS that’s a busy schedule!! What volun- shots by the time the kid is potty teer work are you apart of now? trained.

Alanna: In school, I am an active member in Student Cassie: A mini oompa loompa. So, Alanna, what makes short or cap someone in the arse. Council, Cancer Awareness, and Environment Club you angry? along with the Drama Club. Cassie: Hahahha short hair, been there done that. Alanna: Rude people and lazy unhelpful people. I also (Editors note, go check out Alanna`s grade eight Cassie: WOWEE you must love your clubs! Next year hate kids that swear because you’re only a kid once and picture) Last question Alanna, what would be the best are you going to be this busy with volunteer work? its nice seeing a kid that’s still pure. Halloween costume?

Alanna: Yes, because next year I want to be a part of Cassie: Agreed, plus little innocent kids are the cutest. If Alanna: A prosthetic leg. That would be really diffi- every club and I’m taking 11 courses. a bomb was put in your house and you had 13.57 se- cult and I would applaud anyone who could do that. conds to grab stuff, what would you grab? Cassie: Will you have a social life? Cassie: Thank you, Alanna, for your time. Alanna: I would grab my dogs and my cell, haha. Alanna: You know it, work hard play hard. Alanna: No problem Cassie: What is something odd that not many people Cassie: Why do you commit to doing all of this? It’s a know about you? As we can see here, Sabres, just because someone is lot of work! super busy with lots to do doesn’t make them a social- Alanna: I try to keep all my doors open, plus I love Alanna: I’m obsessed with movies, since January 1 I’ve life lacking weirdo. Alanna is an amazing student who being busy it makes me feel needed. I also don’t like watched 160 movies if that’s anything. I also don’t have is a great role model and someone to have around the wasting my time. a pinky toenail and I hate the word “epic”. Also I’ll do school. She helps in every way she can and this adds anything if it’s funny, I believe you have to do everything so much to Sutherland. As we saw from the awards Cassie: Fair enough, does anyone push you to do once before you die. night at Sutherland, volunteer work is very helpful and these? very rewarding in the long run. Well done to you, Cassie: Agreed, gotta do everything once. Is there any- Alanna, for keeping busy and keeping your marks up. Alanna: No, though my mom is a workaholic so I thing you would never do? My hats off to you. think it just got passed on. Alanna: I would never pierce my face, cut my hair really

M ORE THEN JUST AN ATHLETE BY J USTIN S OLYOM

This month’s featured athlete is an ex- tremely talented 10th grade rugby player, CK: I started playing it in the eighth ST: Speaking of your teammates, I hear Cole Keffer. He has quickly become one grade and I’ve loved it ever since! you’re good friends with fellow rugby the most dependable players on Suther- player Jake Knapton. Have you ever had land’s rugby team, due to his natural ST: Why do you think you enjoy it so to get him out of a bad situation on the leadership ability, extreme level of com- much? field? petitiveness and a never say die attitude. However, not only is Cole an extremely CK: Well, I like all the contact and CK: No not yet but we’ve been pretty successful athlete, but he is also an ex- running but I enjoy it mainly because I close a couple times (laughs). ceedingly engaging interviewee, with a feel closer to my teammates when I play great deal of personality and passion for rugby than in any other sport. ST: (laughs) I’ll take your word for it. the sport that he loves. When I asked Jake how he would best ST: Do you ever trash talk you oppo- describe the way you play on the field, ST: When did you start playing sports? nents on the field? Have you ever been in he used the word “beast”. Do you think a fight? this is accurate? CK: When I was five years old. CK: I never trash talk and I don’t think CK: I don’t know…I guess yeah! ST: What sports did you begin with? I’ve ever been in a fight. ST: I‘m sure your just being modest, but CK: I started playing soccer when I was ST: Not even once? what kind of teammate is Jake? How five, I played inline hockey when I was would you describe him? six and I played ultimate when I was CK: Not once! seven. CK: He’s great to have on the team, he’s ST: Wow, you must have a lot of re- funny and he jokes around, but ST: Which sport did you prefer? straint. What about your teammates, do when it’s time to be serious I’ll use Cole Keffer: The man, the myth, the leg- they ever get into this sort of trouble? his words and call him an absolute end. CK: I liked them all the same. “beast”. CK: I guess so. Actually, a lot of my ST: When did you start playing rugby? teammates do (laughs). - Continued on the Next Page Page 22 Sabre Trooth

M ORE THEN JUST AN ATHLETE - C ONTINUED ST: He sounds like a great teammate, but do you have a favorite memory of him ST: Well it seems to be working. How CK: It definitely increases my motivation to and your fellow players? about Mr. Thornhill, your coach? Does keep people thinking the way that they do he bring the same intensity to his coach- about my play. “Tho CK: Too many to say, but once at the ing as he does to the foods room? rnhill is an amazing coa under fourteen nationals in Calgary, ST: I see. I thanks for your time Cole! One ch! of the best c Jake had a card stuck to his head and he CK: Thornhill is an amazing coach! One oaches I’ve had to rip it off, leaving a bald spot. It of the best coaches I’ve ever had! Unfor- CK: Not problem, the pleasure was mine! ever had!” was really funny to look at. tunately, I’ve never had foods with him so I wouldn’t know if he’s intense or not Humble, gracious and an all-around ST: Sounds like you guys had a good but he really is an intense coach! friendly guy, these are just a few adjec- time. On a different note, what motivates tives used to describe the character of you to play your best before a game? ST: Well he sure seems to hold you in Cole Keffer. Throw in “beast”, “leader”, high esteem! He described you as a “nice guy” and “competitive person” and CK: I just think about what I’m going to “natural leader, a nice guy and an ex- you have even a better understanding of the do that game and I lose myself in the tremely competitive person” when great guy that Cole is, as I’m sure Coach/ preparations before the game, it really asked. Does this kind of praise increase Chef Thornhill and Jake would attest to. doesn’t take much to get me pumped for your level of motivation or does it not Cole is more than just a great rugby player, rugby. make a difference to you? he is also a great person. END OF AN ERA ? B Y S OROUSH S HARAFZADEH

Let’s move back to April 2006. It’s the first NHL season It’s sad to see that the media and unknowledgeable but Roberto you have to get out of there.” since the lockout a year before. The Vancouver Canucks fair weather fans are his downfall. Rising star Cory moved in with high expectations. As the season went on Schneider also has a role in this. It’s safe to say that To all of Luongo’s haters, I hope you’re it was clear changes had to be made, as the Canucks fell at this moment Cory is a better, younger, and cheap- happy. The best goaltender we’ve ever had is short of a playoff spot. Early in the offseason, prior to the er goaltender- but is he really proven? Can he carry on the verge of leaving. However, his legacy annual draft an enormous trade was made; leaving all of the load that Luongo bared upon his shoulders for 6 will never be forgotten, Luongo battled every Vancouver buzzing. The Canucks acquired All-Star years? What will happen when these same fans turn night in what should now officially be consid- Goaltender Roberto Luongo, Lukas Krajicek , and 2nd on him? Are we really overlooking everything Lu- ered the NHL’s goalie graveyard. There’s round draft pick from The Florida Panthers, sending ongo has done for us, and simply moving on with definitely moments we can’t bear to remem- Todd Bertuzzi, Brian Allen, and Alex Auld. For the first Schneider? As sad as it maybe, perhaps it’s time for ber, but surely there were moment’s we will time since the great Kirk McLean the Vancouver Ca- a change. never forget. Despite all the rumors and nucks had an elite goaltender between the pipes. In controversy I can’t help to feel that his era Luongo’s first season with the Canucks, he sky rocketed Don Cherry said it best, claiming Luongo was was cut short and that in the heat of the past expectations. Arguably the best player in the league humiliated this year as he went on to say, moment we made a terrible mistake. I still for that season, he was the only reason the Canucks remember the days when after a great save didn’t miss out for a 2nd straight playoffs. Game after “But I’ll tell you one thing Vancouver. You’re going my dad would yell “Sheer Luongo!” My game Roberto demonstrated how dominant he could to let the guy who won the President’s Trophy father was right and it’s obvious now King Lu really be. I’m sure we all remember his first playoff game, twice, A Veizna Nomination all the time, he took has played his last match in a Canucks uni- when Roberto tied the all-time NHL record for saves in a you to the seventh game in the Stanley Cup and form. Roberto Luongo, forever a Canuck. single game at 76. you’re going to keep the guy who won 1 game in the playoffs? I’ll tell you one thing I’d be very careful, However, Luongo has had some very dark moments. The Chicago Blackhawks torment- ed and lit up Lu, eliminating the rivaled Roberto Luongo, `nuff said Canucks from the playoffs 2 years in a row. There’s one thing all of us can agree about for Roberto’s sake, he never gave up-not once. Despite everything the media and fans put him through, he just worked harder; and the 2010-2011 season is one none of us will ever forget. The Vancouver Canucks dominated every aspect of the regular season. Winning their first ever president’s trophy by a land- slide. Luongo started the playoffs on a roll, winning 3 in a row on the verge of sweeping the hated Chicago Blackhawks. Then Rob- erto’s ugly side made an appearance, and once again the canucks were on the verge of elimination. It’s safe to say Roberto and the whole organization never had as much pres- sure ever before heading to game 7. Luongo played sensational, conquering his demons and finally eliminating the scum Blackhawks. Let’s not forget THIS man took us all the way to Stanley Cup finals. Let’s not forget THIS man was a critical part of this fran- chise’s rejuvenation. Let’s not forget THIS man was our captain, and the best goaltender this franchise has ever had.

Volume V Issue xiii Page 23

S TORM VS DROUGHT , T HUNDER VS H EAT BY M ITCHELL

June 12th... The day that hoop fans wait for all the first two. To put in perspective, the Spurs had only This begs the year, the start of the NBA Finals. This year, the lost four times in their previous 38 before their four question, how long The Thunder big 3. Look at final consists of the Oklahoma City Thunder game losing streak. can the Heat be that Beard! and the Miami Heat, two powerhouse teams carried on the that bulldozed their way through their confer- The Miami Heat have been one of the most exciting shoulders of 3 ences en route to having the privilege of playing teams to watch in the last 2 seasons. The other "big men? And how for the game's biggest prize. Both teams have three" came together in the summer of 2010 to be the long can they hold been carried by their "big 3", whose play will self proclaimed "Dream Team". Dwyane Wade ran that weight? Key determine the outcome of the series. Eyes of the show in South Beach, before two players decided players for the sports fans around the globe will be glued to to come along for the ride. Chris Bosh, a 7' monster Miami will be their television sets for the next two weeks, power forward, joined the Miami Heat in search of a longtime Heat where history is bound to write itself in the title. He fled the Toronto Raptors after 7 seasons with member Udonis National Basketball Association. the club where he registered more than 19 points and Haslem at the 9 rebounds a game and was an all star 5 times. The power forward The Oklahoma City Thunder are nothing less "3rd wheel" of the big 3 is, by far, the largest free position, as well as than a treat to watch. Their explosive transition agent move in NBA history. Lebron James signed Shane Battier, who game and tough defense will reek havoc on the with the Miami Heat soon after the signing of Bosh can shoot the 3 and Miami Heat. The Thunder "big 3" consist of became public, and the then 2 time MVP fled his be a strong pres- Kevin Durant, Russell Westbrook, and James hometown Cleveland Cavaliers team to play with ence on the defen- Harden. These young superstars have carried the Miami. Lebron had single handedly carried the organ- sive end of the load offensively for their team throughout the ization on his back for 7 years before leaving for a ball. playoffs, and with all of them being under the chance at a championship. The 3 superstars told the age of 24, they have had to be mature beyond world that they would win "not 5, not 6, not 7" sug- Lebron James deserves his championship, and I as a sports fan would their years. Kevin Durant is the reigning scoring gesting that they’ll win multiple NBA Titles. They love to see him get it. Though, I believe that Oklahoma City is much champion in the NBA regular season, and with were bounced in the finals by the Dallas Mavericks too strong for their opposition. Chandler McCorkindale, a fellow Westbrook also in the top five for scoring, these last year in their first attempt, they are back to prove journalism student, weighed in on his opinion stating that, "Okc will two may be the most dangerous combination in the critics wrong. A championship is most important win because they have some tricks up their beards." (referring to the entire NBA. James Harden also had a career for Lebron James, who has been said to be one of the James Harden's filthy beard. Seriously, look it up) Jake Rivard, a season off of the bench, winning the "6th Man greatest of all time, but he has no championships, all grade 11 student, also added that the series "will be a bloodbath." Award" for being voted the best bench player in of the greatest players in the history of the NBA have Expect nothing less from these two very competitive squads. the entire league. The rest of the OKC starting won at the highest stage. James looked like a man lineup is very sturdy, with Kendrick Perkins, possessed in these playoffs, averaging over 30 points, These two teams are sure to be at each others throats starting June Serge Ibaka, and Thabo Sefolosha. All three of 9 rebounds and 5 assists throughout knockout play. 12th at tip off, with both young teams trying to create a dynasty. these athletes bring a tremendous defensive He was also just the second player in NBA history to Oklahoma City's long layoff may be an issue for their young explosive presence, but do not have an extraordinary score at least 45 points, grab 15 rebounds, and dish team, who have a full week in between their western conference win offensive upside. The Thunder will need all the out 5 assists in a playoff game, which he did in game and game 1 of the finals, something Miami will surely try to take defense they can get facing the number four 6 as he fought off elimination all by himself against advantage of early in the series. The position of new champion in the ranked offense in the Miami Heat. Oklahoma the Boston Celtics. While Lebron is looking unstoppa- NBA is surely up for grabs, these are the two best teams in the league, City is a resilient group, beating the veteran San ble, and the other big 2 are looking very solid, the rest fighting it out for the ultimate goal, to bring a trophy back home. Antonio Spurs in four straight games after losing of the Miami Heat are looking lethargic and sluggish.

ASTROLOGY JONES : G AME OF T HRONES E DITION BY DANI AND CONNOR

Capricorn (Dec.22-Jan.20) true path. Robb Stark (King of the North) This month you can expect to win a Gemini (May.21-June.20) series of personal battles, but be warned, treachery is everywhere, and Theon Greyjoy (Iron Blood) Happy Birthday, Gemini! Libra (Sept.23- Oct.22) may be closer to home than you think. Follow your heart and be with Prosperous opportunities lay in the horizon, But full armor is Cersei Lannister (Mother Lion) Last month was quite a who you love. Keep your wits about you and be cautious. You never needed for this battle to be won. Lately, you have been stressful one, but this month is starting to look your way. know what is about to happen. looked upon as if you are lowly, or as some may say a After a recent victory, things begin to brighten up. Your “coward”. But always look upon yourself as the true iron family has become prosperous and your enemies have fallen Aquarius (Jan.21-Feb.18) blood you are, the true prince/princess of the Iron Isles. You to the dust—for now. Even though things seem to be going Daenerys Targaryen (Mother of Dragons) You have begun to take are entitled to the ships and respect you wish to receive, and well for you, don’t let it go to your head. The king’s grove charge of your life this month. You vault up your feelings and oppo- as a true Greyjoy, you take with iron, not buy with gold. always has stags and wolves lurking about. nents, so they may not disrupt your pursuit of what you rightfully What is dead may never die. deserve. Always remember your dragon claws are a lot bigger than a Scorpio (Oct. 23- Nov.21) wolf or lion’s. Cancer (Jun.22-July.22) Jorah Mormont (The Bear) This month you will feel a Stannis Baratheon (Lord of Light) You have seen better days, strong urge to protect someone you love, whether from Pisces (Feb.19-Mar.20) but there is a light in the darkness. Even though the odds don’t danger or peering eyes, you feel that their protection solely Jon Snow (Bastard Crow) This month will be quite confusing for favor you, you look to the light for protection and hope, and relies on yourself. The one you love may push you away as you. Friends will act like enemies, and enemies will start to look more the fire for warmth and love. Someone who poses as a friend or you attempt to keep them safe, but always remember that like allies. Don’t let the overwhelming feeling of being trapped keep lover may not be what they seem. Stay close to the light, for the when you are needed they will accept you with open arms, as you down, because even though you feel as though you may not be night is dark and full of terrors. either wise council, or a loving friend. accepted, you are already part of the clan. Leo (July.23- Aug.22) Sagittarius (Nov.22- Dec.21) Aries (Mar.21-April.19) Arya Stark (Arie) This month, things are beginning to look up. Catelyn Stark (Lady Tully) Recent events have lead you to Joffery Baratheon (The Boy King) Your attitude towards honour is You may have lost a few friends along the way but for the first be questioned by family and friends. As always, you chose to taken well among your peers and followers, although this is not the time in a a while, you are free. You feel the need to move and go with your heart and protect your family, rather than listen occasion to be honourable. A new opportunity has risen from some- find the people you love most, but yet you are also mystified by to the orders and restraints of a king. This decision may one else’s victory, and your council wishes that you take it. Although an unfamiliar person in your life. Names mean little, but come to haunt you, but don’t let yourself falter. You chose taking this opportunity will make you lose something you already actions mean everything. what felt right in your heart, not what was right by someone have, you are not one to give away one of your toys. else’s standards. Virgo (Aug.23- Sept.22) Taurus (April.20-May.20) Bran Stark (Little Lord) This month, you will lose something Tyrion Lannister (The Half Man) You have had a sudden down fall that has been in your life since you were born. Don’t let this with the rising of another, but don’t let it get to you. Love is beginning distract you from what your true tasks are. Within the lives that to play a large part in your life, and now that your important duties we live, we must lose things that we took for granted. But with have ceased, you may feel free to pursue it. Even though people may every loss, you must draw strength. You will find love and not sing songs about your victory, those closest to you will remember. protection from family and friends, as long as you stay on your T HE J OURNALISM T EAM OF 2011/2012!!

Missing in Pictures: Vish Kanga Soroush Sharafzadeh Danielle McLaughlin Brittany Mrsic Brayden Newbery