Worksheet for Howie Mandel | A Conversation About Mental Health, Talent, and Perseverance (Episode 210)

One of the hardest working men in comedy, America’s Got Talent judge, Deal or No Deal host, How do you respond to expectations? and Here’s the Deal: Don’t Touch Me coauthor Howie Mandel accidentally outed himself as a Gretchen Rubin, host of the Happier germaphobe suffering from OCD on The Howard Podcast and author of The Four Stern Show. Instead of this incident ruining his life Tendencies: The Indispensable Personality and career, it allowed him to become the voice of Profiles That Reveal How to Make Your the disorder in many ways, and he’s used it as a Life Better (and Other People’s Lives lens with which to study human nature, forming Better, Too), joined us for Episode 18 to the foundation of his comedy. discuss how answering this one simple question gives us a framework to make This episode is so fun, so interesting, and so all better decisions, manage time efficiently, over the place that it has quickly become one of suffer less stress, and engage with others my most favorite interviews I’ve done in the more effectively. history of the show. I’ve got a few fun notes and stories for after the show as well, but in the meantime, please enjoy this episode with one of the most prolific comedians of the day!

jordanharbinger.com ● Upholders -- Motivated by both outer and inner expectations. ● Questioners -- Challenge outer expectations unless they align with Impulsiveness Now inner expectations. Instead of overthinking and saying “coulda, ● Obligers -- Meet outer expectations, shoulda, woulda” after the fact, Howie thinks Do you agree with Will -- that you do not but struggle to meet inner more of us would be ahead and happier if we have everything in you to rise to the expectations. lived in the moment — as long as we’re not top? What does Western society have to ● Rebel -- Resist all expectations -- hurting anybody. gain if you believe this? What do you both outer and inner. “You shouldn’t spend a moment thinking about gain by not believing this? what you don’t have and what you want,” says Now understanding how you act and Howie. “You’ve got to think about ‘How do I make this moment — this second — the most fun, the react based on your natural tendencies most interesting, and the most exciting?’ toward outer and inner expectations, Because that’s all you have, and that’s all I do how would you leverage that awareness every minute of the day. And I fight for that — I to improve the outcome? In what ways don’t achieve that, but that’s what I fight to do.” could you have shifted the expectations In what ways might you be “ahead and to align with your natural tendencies? happier” by surrendering to decisions driven by impulse rather than overthinking?

jordanharbinger.com ● Upholders -- Motivated by both outer and inner expectations. ● Questioners -- Challenge outer expectations unless they align with Coping Openly inner expectations. Over a lifetime of struggling with OCD, anxiety, ● Obligers -- Meet outer expectations, and depression, Howie learned the importance of coping openly with these struggles — rather than Do you agree with Will -- that you do not but struggle to meet inner bottling them up and pretending they were have everything in you to rise to the expectations. nonexistent — after accidentally revealing his top? What does Western society have to ● Rebel -- Resist all expectations -- issues on a live Howard Stern broadcast. gain if you believe this? What do you both outer and inner. “Life is a constant battle, but it’s a worthy battle,” gain by not believing this? Howie says. “And for the most part, I win all these Now understanding how you act and little smart battles. And whether it’s waking up react based on your natural tendencies and taking my medication or talking openly like I toward outer and inner expectations, am right now…whatever it takes, just a breathing how would you leverage that awareness exercise or whatever, there is a constant battle. But I think everybody has a cross to bear.” to improve the outcome? In what ways could you have shifted the expectations What is your cross to bear? Do you have more than one? Do you cope with your struggles to align with your natural tendencies? openly, or do you feel like no one could possibly relate to what you’re going through? If you’re not talking to someone about these issues, who might you open up to about them?

jordanharbinger.com ● Upholders -- Motivated by both outer and inner expectations. ● Questioners -- Challenge outer expectations unless they align with Pryor Walk with Me inner expectations. In the early ’80s, Howie got the chance to ● Obligers -- Meet outer expectations, regularly see legendary comedian Richard Pryor Do you agree with Will -- that you do not but struggle to meet inner honing material for what would become Live on have everything in you to rise to the expectations. The Sunset Strip. It changed the way he looked at comedy and how it could be used for maximum top? What does Western society have to ● Rebel -- Resist all expectations -- impact on an unsuspecting audience. gain if you believe this? What do you both outer and inner. gain by not believing this? “It was the first time I was cognizant of somebody walking on stage with the tools of comedy Now understanding how you act and without it fully being constructed,” says Howie. “It react based on your natural tendencies was the IKEA of comedy. He had ideas. He had toward outer and inner expectations, notes. He was crossing lines that had never been how would you leverage that awareness crossed before…and it was scary and real.” to improve the outcome? In what ways If you could learn something from a master of could you have shifted the expectations their craft — living or dead — who would you to align with your natural tendencies? choose to teach you, what would you hope to see in a new light, and why?

jordanharbinger.com ● Upholders -- Motivated by both outer and inner expectations. ● Questioners -- Challenge outer expectations unless they align with Comedy as Connection inner expectations. At its core, comedy is about connecting with and ● Obligers -- Meet outer expectations, relating to other people. Do you agree with Will -- that you do not but struggle to meet inner “If you can get a room with 11 or 12 people to have everything in you to rise to the expectations. come along on your ride with you, there’s nothing top? What does Western society have to ● Rebel -- Resist all expectations -- better,” says Howie. “The harder it is, and the gain if you believe this? What do you both outer and inner. harder the room is, the more I luxuriate in that awkwardness.” gain by not believing this?

Now understanding how you act and If you’re not used to stepping out of your comfort zone regularly to connect with others react based on your natural tendencies in some way (with or without comedy), what toward outer and inner expectations, opportunities to do so might present how would you leverage that awareness themselves this week? What excuses do you to improve the outcome? In what ways commonly give yourself for avoiding this kind could you have shifted the expectations of challenge? to align with your natural tendencies?

Full show notes and resources for this episode can be found here.

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