A Writing Conduct Unbecoming "was a way of asserting that I was going to live," says Shitts, who tested HIV positive in 1985.

Randy Shilts fought off AIDS to report on the bitter reality faced by gays in uniform WRITER OF WRONGS would never leave the hospital alive. Lesbians and Gays in the U.S. Mili¬ The next despair. Last January he needed day friends found the pa¬ tary (St. Martin's Press). Based on Foremergencyatwie, ra\dysurgeryshiltsaftercavehiscvleftto tient sitting up in bed, performing leg nearly 1,100 interviews with gay ser¬ lung collapsed—the first major exercises to regain his strength. "It vice personnel, the book details tbe health crisis in his never crossed eight-year battle my mind that I might ruthless methods the military uses to with AIDS. He had been racing to die," he says. "When someone stood hunt down gays and expel them— complete his third book, but weeks over me saying I was on the way out, destroying careers and, in some after the it made operation Shilts was still my will to live kick in." cases, lives. He also reports stories of languishing and staring at the walls, Shilts, 41, has survived to see the beatings and suicides and graphical¬ leading a doctor to predict that he publication of Conduct Unbecoming: ly portrays the quiet fear gays in uni-

by Jan Sonnenmair Photographs 4/26/93 PEOPLE 73 form experience day in and day out. In his book Shilts explains that al¬ Conduct Unbecoming will likely though the ban was instituted in add fuel to the already contentious 1943 on the now discredited theory debate between President Clinton that homosexuality was a mental ill¬ and the Pentagon as the Senate con¬ ness, the Pentagon still places a high ducts hearings on whether to over¬ priority on keeping the services turn the military's ban on gays. The straight. "An investigative agency passionate public discussion sur¬ will get a tip that someone is gay," prises even Shilts, who began the says Shilts. "They'll take that person book in 1988, following his searing into a small room and tell them they history of the AIDS epidemic And the have all the information they need to Band Played On (scheduled to air as throw them in prison with hard labor an HBO movie featuring Richard if they don't confess." Shilts says an¬ Gere, and other ploy commonly used against in September). "I honestly didn't mothers suspected of being lesbians feel people would be interested," he is to threaten to jail them and even says. "My big concern was that no¬ have their chil¬ dren taken body would care." -< Shilts, seen here away. room The Sitting in the living of his with gay city super¬ goal, he apartment near San Francisco's pre¬ visor at maintains, is al¬ gay dominantly Castro District, Shilts a 1978 raliy, iater ways the same is —to energetic, despite his obvious wrote a book on the get the accused to name weight loss and the thin plastic oxy¬ politician's life and other gen tube in his nose. His eyes bright¬ assassination. gays. en and his hands slice the air as he A typical tale talks about the 16,500 gay men and pression from the Senate hearings in Shilts' book involves Dan Bell, lesbians who have been expelled from that gays are taken by the hand, 27, a former airman at Carswell Air the military—an effort he claims shown the door and courteously told Force base in Fort Worth. In 1989, costs taxpayers hundreds of millions to seek employment elsewhere," he during 10 days of questioning. of dollars every year. "You get the im¬ says. "That's not how it works." Bell's superiors allegedly kept him

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) J992 Pilkington Barnes Hind. CSI Clarity is a trademark ofPilkington Visioncare, Inc. locked in a small > "My work is very closel for hours Airme/i driven," on end. forcing says Shiits (with him to urinate in Dash). "PolHics are the corner. When irreievant uniess Bell finally connected to peo¬ broke, he gave ple's reai iives." the names of six gay friends who had left the Air Force and agreed to be identified, hoping to throw off the investigators. But the plan backfired, setting off a chain of similar interrogations. By the time the probe was over, gay ac¬ tivists estimate, more than 40 active airmen were discharged. "These tactics aren't aberrations," says Shiits, "and they have only become more vicious." Shiits says military protocol made his job easier. "It was wonderful be¬ cause they're so bureaucratic. There are paper trails evei^where, so you can substantiate everything—and that's crucial," he explains. Service personnel "are always on time, if not Aurora, 111., Shiits, the son of a sales¬ after leaving conservative politics, early," for interviews, he says, and man of prefabricated housing and a he came out of the closet and later "if they said they were going to get housewife, was founder and presi¬ became head of the Eugene [Oreg.] you documents, they did." dent of his local chapter of Young Gay People's Alliance. Shiits says Raised a political conservative in Americans for Freedom. Then, at 20, his transformation was typical of the

CSI Clarity lenses are up to 8 times more deposit resistant than other lenses (data on file). For crisper, clearer vision. Ask your eye care professional about them. Or call 1-800-582-VlEW. Clsxity times. "I was influenced by the professional AIDS victim." tic to the military as the generals say counterculture." Shilts never set out to be a pariah it will. It took many years for people In 1975, Shilts went to work for in the gay community either—but to get used to blacks and women in The Advocate, a gay newspaper, in that's what he became in the early the military." Meantime, Shilts is San Francisco. Six years later he years of covering the AIDS epidemic getting on with his own life. Next was hired hy The San Francisco for the Chronicle. He was branded "a month he and his companion, 23- Chronicle, becoming, he says, the gay Uncle Tom" when he called for year-old film studies student Barry first openly gay reporter at a major the closing of bathhouses and an end Barbieri, plan to formalize their re¬ daily. His first hook, in 1982, was to gay promiscuity. "There was a lationship in a commitment ceremo¬ The Mayor ofCastro Street, a biogra¬ time when he would walk down Cas¬ ny. Aside from walking their golden phy of Harvey Milk, the gay member tro Street and people would spit on retriever. Dash, and planting rho¬ of the San Francisco Board of Su¬ him," says Ann Neuenschwander, dodendrons at his rustic 10-acre pervisors who was murdered by for¬ Shilts' closest friend. "It hurt him a spread in the redwoods north of San mer supervisor . In 1985, lot." Adds Shilts: "No one ever ques¬ Francisco, Shilts is passionately as he just finished typing the final tioned the truth of what I wrote but committed to his work. He will re¬ page of his next book, And the Band just whether the dirty little secrets join the Chronicle as a weekly col¬ Played On, Shilts learned he was should be told to heterosexuals." For umnist in June and is now putting HIV positive but kept his condition him, getting the facts out on AIDS the finishing touches on a new chap¬ quiet until this year because he was was paramount. "It was hard on him, ter for the book—on the role of gays afraid it might undermine his jour¬ but he thought he was doing the right in the Persian Gulf War. It may be nalistic credibility. "To me it's no thing," says Neuenschwander. his last work on gay issues. "I think different than having high blood Shilts is convinced President I've sort of said it all," he says. pressure or some other life-threat¬ Clinton will find a way to lift the ban "But if I find a good story, I'll do ening illness," he says. "But in our preventing gays from serving. "Po¬ it tomorrow." culture AIDS has this melodramatic litically, he almost has to," Shilts ■ DAVID EUJS veneer to it. I didn't want to be a points out. "It won't be as apocalyp¬ ■JOnVATDODD in San Francisco

A "Ybu canH be too serious about it," Shilts (with Barry Barbieri at their country home) says of AIDS. "Ybu can't let It wreck your life."

76 4/26/93 PEOPLE CONDUCT UNBECOMING

Randy Shilts

The Detroit News Sept. 29, 1993 1 of 3

Homosexuals in the military: The debate marches on