Issue 07 10 Apr 2017
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ISSUE 07 10 APR 2017 ISSUE 07 10 APR 2017 ISSUE 07 10 APR 2017 Free your cash! Chances are you’re owed a tax refund. Check now at Contents FEATURES Twelve Hours on Hyde Street Free your Gonzo journalism from within the Hyde Street Party, by Joel MacManus p9 cash! 24 Less is More How limiting your possessions can improve your life, by Chelle Chances are you’re owed Fitzgerald p24 a tax refund. Life in Antarctica Surviving in a desert of ice, by Check now at 09 28 Jessica Thompson p28 NEWS & OPINION CULTURE COLUMNS 5 Editorial 32 Art 40 Letters 6 Behind the Scenes at Hyde 34 Film 41 Musings of a Jerk 16 Execrable 36 Games 41 Voices from Beyond the Grad 16 David Clark 37 Food 42 Poetry Corner 17 News 38 Books 42 Science Tank 19 Sport 39 Music 43 Cookin’ Up Love 20 Politics 44 Ethel & Hyde 22 News in Briefs 44 Critic Booze Reviews 45 The Hell Hole 46 Vitalogy Issue 07 | APR 2017 GET SWEET LOOT WITH A 2017 ONECARD ACTIVATE YOURS ONLINE AT R1.CO.NZ/ONECARD ALTO CAFE NOOK FLASH YOUR 2017 Bacon & Egg Sandwich or BLT + Regular Treatment, cut & blow wave for $69. Cut, ONECARD AT ANY Coffee for $10, Mon - Fri 7am - 11.30am blow wave, colour & treatment for $150. 1/2 head foils, cut, blow wave, toner & treatment OF THESE FINE BIGGIES PIZZA for $164 $8 off any pizza purchase.* BUSINESSES AND OUTSIDE SPORTS BOWL LINE 15% off rental, 15% off workshop, and 10% off SAVE CA$H MONEY! 2 games of bowling for $15* retail (full price items only)* AMAZON THE CAPTAIN COOK HOTEL PARDAL HAIR STUDIO 10% off full-priced items, not in $10 for coffee and a Bacon Buttie, anytime Student woman’s haircut $40, re-style $50, conjunction with any other offer, only before 5pm available in store. mens haircut $25, $99 Half head of foils, treatment, cut and blow wave*. CORNERSTONE INK TATTOO STUDIO BURGER KING 10% off per hour 2 Cheeseburgers for $3* PHONE SURGEONS 10% off all phone, tablet & computer repairs FORTUNE THEATRE CAPERS CAFE 2-for-1 tickets on Wednesday night PITA PIT 2 for 1 gourmet pancakes* performances* Buy any petita size pita and get upgraded to a regular* CELLO HELL PIZZA 5% off Logitech, 10% off Labour, 10% off Spend $20 or more and receive either free network & data cables. Plus iPad/iMac/ POPPA’S PIZZA MacBook educational pricing. wedges, garlic bread, or a 1.5L drink* Free garlic bread with any regular or large pizza* HOT YOGA COSMIC 5 classes for $50* 10% student discount PURE BEAUTY 20% off eyelash extensions, $25 spray tans, INCH BAR Student Brazilian with free eyebrow shape LUMINO THE DENTISTS $1 off Emerson’s draught pints $69 new patient exams and x-rays, plus $35 10% off further treatments* LEGIT LTD ROB ROY DAIRY 50% off stickers MEGAZONE Free upgrade to a waffle cone ever Monday Buy two games of mini golf or laser tag & Tuesday* and get a third free LIQUID ASSETS JUICE BAR 12.5% off all juices SUBWAY Buy any six-inch meal deal and upgrade to a RAPUNZEL’S LONE STAR Monday to Friday, 1/2 head of foils footlong meal deal for free* including toner for $99, women’s cut Up to 25% off selected beverages when you from $39, men’s cut from $29* book a function with us. $20 selected Beer SUPER SHUTTLES Pitchers. $15 Margarita Jugs* $20 to/from the airport STIRLING SPORTS 12.5% off all non-sale items MOBIL ANZAC AVE T.M. AUTOMOTIVE 2 x 500mL Lift Plus for $4 $50 Warrant of Fitness fee THE POOLHOUSE CAFE & BAR NANDO’S VAPOURIUM $9 for 1-hour pool table hire* Free regular peri-peri chips with every flame- Get 20ml free with any starter kit grilled chicken, wrap, pita or burger. Free VOID CLOTHING chips upgrade with combo meals* 10% off all non-sale items *terms and conditions apply, see r1.co.nz/onecard for details Editorial 5 GET SWEET LOOT WITH A EDITORIAL THE CRITIC TEAM 2017 ONECARD EDITOR LUCY HUNTER EXECUTIVE EDITOR JOE HIGHAM ACTIVATE YOURS ONLINE DESIGN NATASHA MURACHVER FEATURES DESIGN CERI GIDDENS AT R1.CO.NZ/ONECARD CHIEF REPORTER JOEL MACMANUS SUB EDITOR CHARLIE O’MANNIN NEWS INTERN ANNA LINTON FLASH YOUR 2017 ALTO CAFE NOOK What Do You Expect Bacon & Egg Sandwich or BLT + Regular Treatment, cut & blow wave for $69. Cut, When the Blind Lead SECTION EDITORS ONECARD AT ANY Coffee for $10, Mon - Fri 7am - 11.30am blow wave, colour & treatment for $150. 1/2 The Blind? head foils, cut, blow wave, toner & treatment ART EDITOR MONIQUE HODGKINSON OF THESE FINE BIGGIES PIZZA for $164 BOOKS EDITOR JESSICA THOMPSON CARR $8 off any pizza purchase.* FILM EDITOR LAURA STARLING BUSINESSES AND OUTSIDE SPORTS FOOD EDITOR LIANI BAYLIS BOWL LINE 15% off rental, 15% off workshop, and 10% off OUSA Executive Fails Students GAMES EDITOR BRANDON JOHNSTONE MUSIC EDITORS BIANCA PRUJEAN & REG NORRIS SAVE CA$H MONEY! 2 games of bowling for $15* retail (full price items only)* POLITICS EDITOR GEORGE ELLIOTT By Dredging Up Grim Past SPORT EDITOR CHARLIE HANTLER AMAZON THE CAPTAIN COOK HOTEL PARDAL HAIR STUDIO 10% off full-priced items, not in $10 for coffee and a Bacon Buttie, anytime Student woman’s haircut $40, re-style $50, This year I was, perhaps naively, beginning to see a it just shows more than anything that the use of foresight conjunction with any other offer, only before 5pm glimmer of hope in student politics that I thought could and reason have become forgotten amid a shadow of CONTRIBUTORS available in store. mens haircut $25, $99 Half head of foils, treatment, cut and blow wave*. THE-BLIND-LEADING-THE-BLIND-PIETER-BRUEG-WELLCOME/CC-BY-4.0/VIA-WIKIMEDIA-COMMONS begin to eclipse the division and impotence that em- nepotism and crowd comfort in student politics. CHELLE FITZGERALD, ZAHRA SHAHTAHMASEBI, CORNERSTONE INK TATTOO STUDIO bedded itself in last year’s elected ten as the year pro- Christopher Hitchens wrote in his wonderful epistolary JACK TREVELLA, JUSTENE ALLEN, LIZ ROSS, ALEX CAMPBELL-HUNT, SASKIA BUNCE-RATH, LISA BURGER KING 10% off per hour PHONE SURGEONS gressed. The cohesion was almost unnerving having book, Letters to a Young Contrarian, “The search for 2 Cheeseburgers for $3* BLAKIE, ZOE TAPTIKLIS, KIRIO BIRKS 10% off all phone, tablet & computer repairs been accustomed to such pervasive disunity. security and majority is not always the same as soli- FORTUNE THEATRE There are approximately 22,000 students at the darity, it can be another name for consensus and tyranny CAPERS CAFE 2-for-1 tickets on Wednesday night PITA PIT 2 for 1 gourmet pancakes* University of Otago, each with their own unique take on DISTRIBUTION SAM LLOYD & WAHAHA FLAT performances* Buy any petita size pita and get upgraded to a myriad of issues, not least that which binds them all ONLINE CONTENT MANAGER AMAN JAMWAL a regular* CELLO HELL PIZZA together as one: education. Out of these 22,000 then, it I immediately 5% off Logitech, 10% off Labour, 10% off seems perplexing that Bryn Jenkins, the 2017 OUSA Spend $20 or more and receive either free POPPA’S PIZZA thought it must be a ADVERTISING SALES network & data cables. Plus iPad/iMac/ Education Officer, chose as the College of Education TIM COUCH, PETER RAMSAY, MacBook educational pricing. wedges, garlic bread, or a 1.5L drink* Free garlic bread with any regular or large pizza* Representative on the Education Committee the person belated April Fools JESS DRYSDALE HOT YOGA arguably most at fault for the aforementioned division [email protected] COSMIC 5 classes for $50* joke such was the 10% student discount PURE BEAUTY and disunity that plagued the association for twelve 20% off eyelash extensions, $25 spray tans, arduous months—former President Laura Harris. shock when the eight INCH BAR Student Brazilian with free eyebrow shape If that weren’t enough, in an OUSA Executive meeting LUMINO THE DENTISTS $1 off Emerson’s draught pints hands were raised $69 new patient exams and x-rays, plus $35 on Monday 3rd April, eight of the ten current members 10% off further treatments* of the group that purportedly speak on your behalf, the LEGIT LTD ROB ROY DAIRY 50% off stickers student body, voted to appoint her onto this committee and tribalism.” You deserve better as a student body Free upgrade to a waffle cone ever Monday Issue 07 | APR 2017 MEGAZONE to represent you once more. I immediately thought it than decisions like this one from those whom you’ve & Tuesday* READ ONLINE Buy two games of mini golf or laser tag must be a belated April Fools joke such was the shock entrusted to stamp out ridiculous proposals like this on CRITIC.CO.NZ and get a third free LIQUID ASSETS JUICE BAR ISSUU.COM/CRITIC_TE_AROHI 12.5% off all juices SUBWAY when the eight hands were raised despite lengthy and your behalf. You deserve better than the path student Buy any six-inch meal deal and upgrade to a heated discussion for and against; even the people who politics is currently taking. As a student myself, I feel GET IN TOUCH RAPUNZEL’S LONE STAR [email protected] Monday to Friday, 1/2 head of foils footlong meal deal for free* were seemingly opposed to her appointment during the betrayed, mislead and cheated by this vote. FACEBOOK.COM/CRITICTEAROHI including toner for $99, women’s cut Up to 25% off selected beverages when you dialogue willingly refused to side with their own stance Last year, I sat and watched as the division and conflict TWEET: @CRITICTEAROHI from $39, men’s cut from $29* book a function with us.