Part 1: understanding our CHa LLenge

ambition in good and healthy ways can twist it, and something meant for good can be co-opted by a selfish motive or a narrow focus that is of no benefit to anyone but you. The distortions of our ambition can be simplified into two

Partextremes. 1: understanding Like a swinging our C pendulum,Ha LLenge these two manifesta- tions are equally dangerous. In my own life, I’ve gone to both extremes• In Genesis, at different God timesnames when the ambition the ambition inside insideyou and me calls has it CHAPTERgrownkabash. distorted.To Each kabash3: of RECLAIMING isus to will bring naturally something lean undertoward KIBOSHyour one controlway or the other,so you and can many make leaders it more will effective, swing backbeautiful, and forthand useful. between these• twoOver extremes. time, the kabash God has given you has been co- opted by sin into kibosh. To kibosh is to bring something under your control for your own good through dominant

Part 1:authority.understanding our CHa LLenge • When your kibosh is passive, it leaves you waiting on authorityauthority over them’ to lead,” (Mark abdicating 10:42). your The responsibility kibosh leaders as someone are the ones thatcreated lord intheir God’s authority image. over When those kibosh entrustedis active, to them. though, The it kiboshmanifestsleaders leverage as selfishKILL authority ambition AMBITION not whereto serve you others, are workingbut to serve for themselves.self-advancement Let’s revisit andour diagramthe ability of to Ambition control others Distorted for your and seeThe how firstown it response relatespurposes. to of the many kibosh leaders,leader. especially Christian leaders, is to look for ways to kill their ambition. If you’ve been taught to view ambition asTHE a danger KABASH to spiritual LEADER growth, an impediment to being a follower of Jesus, the spiritual thing to do is to kill it. GodBecause wants our us hearts to live are out naturally the kabash deceitfulhe’s put(see inJeremiah us, exercising 17:9), we it cannotunder his trust authority our desires. and forUnconstrained his glory. Instead ambition of waiting may just for be the a selfishauthority desire. to lead I know or workingmany church in selfish leaders ways who to strugglesee that withauthor- their ambitionity for our because own ends, they he see wants it as anus expressionto resist kibosh of selfishnessand reclaim or a desirekabash.We for Thissaw promotion earlier is the paththat that theretoward might are cometrue two leadership. atways the weexpense distort of our others. God- givenIf ambition.that’s true, Some what ofis us,the wheneasiest we’re and notmost in common charge, resort way forto waitingyou to avoid until that we’re kind in ofcharge ambition? to step You out get and rid lead. of it! We Because pass thewe buckfollow and the justone whodo what’s said, “Ifasked your of right us. eyeWhen causes we youbelieve to stumble, the lie that authority is required to lead, that good desire to kabash—to 66embrace the creativity and responsibility God has placed within us—gets co-opted into kibosh—a selfish negativity toward any- thing that doesn’t benefit us directly. The older simple I get, answer the more for how I realize kabash thatbecame between kibosh the extremesis sin. Whenthere is Adam usually and a thirdEve disobeyed option. We God, grow sin up entered thinking the life world is black and 9780310531579_HowtoLead_int.indddistorted everything, 66 including the good ambition God placed 6/23/17 10:38 AM within82 us, that desire to make something great or achieve some- thing of worth. Adam and Eve’s fatal decision was to believe too little of God and too much of themselves. God gave them full dominion to kabash all his creation, but he gave them one stip- ulation—do not eat from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good 9780310531579_HowtoLead_int.inddand Evil. For 82whatever reason, they didn’t believe he was to be 6/23/17 10:38 AM trusted, and they disobeyed. This act set in motion the evolution

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9780310531579_HowtoLead_int.indd 80 6/23/17 10:38 AM Part 2: tHe Four b eHaviors CHAPTER 4: LEAD YOURSELF plan. If someone were to ask you what your future plan is, what you’re doing to lead yourself should be top of mind. If you don’t have an answer when someone asks you, you don’t really have a plan.

You may not be in Remember, this will not happen on its own. You may charge, but you are not be in charge, but you are in in charge of you! charge of you! If you do not for- mulate a “Lead Me Plan,” no one will make it for you. The responsibility is yours. But if you do, the good news is that you will be one step closer to becoming a better leader.

TIME TO LEAVE

I mentioned earlier that there might be times when you need to consider leaving a job because of an unhealthy relationship with

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jersey,CHAPTER even when you 5: might CHOOSE disagree. You’ll POSITIVITY start to feel owner- ship, even for decisions you didn’t make. To help me connect the way I view things with the results I experience in my life and in my job, I’ve developed this crazy- looking pyramid:

UP YOUR VIEW

TRUST HOPE in OUT in God the Future

CHOOSE POSITIVITY

ENERGY HUMILITY UNITY in Your Toward Your with Your Attitude Authority Associates

HEAD HEART HANDS

Here’s how to try out this posture for yourself. You already have a lens through which you’re seeing your current situation. Maybe it’s the way you see your relationship with your boss. Maybe it’s the way you see your work, feeling it doesn’t make a difference. All leaders have something or someone informing how they see their situation. Consider the apostle Paul. I find it fascinating to read his letter to the Philippians while thinking about where he was when he wrote it. Four times in the first chapter, Paul explicitly refers to the chains he is wearing as he writes. Now I’ve never spent a night in jail, but I did get sent to detention a few times in high school. I remember the mood I

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NOTESNOTES

Chapter 1: The Oddity of Leadership 1. Sinek, Simon. “Why Good Leaders Make You Feel Safe.” https://www.ted.com/talks/simon_sinek_why_good_leaders _make_you_feel_safe. 2. Collins, Jim. “Good to Great.” FastCompany.com, https://www .fastcompany.com/43811/good-great. 3. Tabrizi, Benham. “The Key to Change is Middle Management.” Harvard Business Review. https://hbr.org/2014/10/ the-key-to-change-is-middle-management.

Chapter 2: Identity Crisis 1. Zucker, Jerry. First Knight. DVD. Los Angeles: Columbia Pictures, 1995. 2. Morel, Pierre. Taken. DVD. Los Angeles: 20th Century Fox, 2008.

Chapter 3: Reclaim Kibosh 1. Seinfeld. “The Opera.” Episode 49. Directed by Tom Cherones. Written by Larry Charles. NBC, November 4, 1992. 2. In Jewish hermeneutics, there are four basic interpretive categories: literal (peshat), philosophical (remez), inferred (derash), and mystical (sod). The first letter of each one of those Hebrew words is used to create the acronym PRDS, more commonly referred to and pronounced by my Rabbi friends as “pardes.” This is still used as the framework for Jewish exegesis and interpretative study of the Torah. A Jewish Rabbi would consider this connection between kabash and kibosh to be a remez, not a peshat. It’s philosophical, not literal. Even though we cannot find

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a literal connection between kabash and kibosh, it’s accurate to say that these two words make the exact sound, yet have two distinct and contrary definitions. To use the wordplay to make a point is a normal and acceptable form of Jewish hermeneutics. To the Hebrew people, the word, kabash, must have meant something beautiful. Today, when someone uses that same sound, kibosh, they mean something completely different. No one knows how we got here, but no one can deny the distortion of where we are.

Chapter 4: Lead Yourself 1. Ballard, Glenn and Siedah Garrett. Man in the Mirror. Los Angeles: Epic Records, 1988. 2. Maxwell, John. Leadership Handbook: 26 Critical Lessons Every Leader Needs (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 2015), 17. 3. Watkins, Michael D. The First 90 Days: Proven Strategies for Getting Up to Speed Faster and Smarter (Boston: Harvard Business Review Press, 2013), 20. 4. Collins, Jim. How the Mighty Fall: And Why Some Companies Never Give In (New York: HarperCollins, 2011), 4. 5. Patterson, Kerry, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillian, and Al Switzler. Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When the Stakes are High (New York: McGraw-Hill, 2002). 6. Stone, Douglas, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen. Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most (London: Penguin Books, 2010).

Chapter 5: Choose Positivity 1. Covey, Stephen, R. Seven Habits of Highly Successful People (Free Press: New York, 1989), 28. 2. Ibid, 17. 3. Dale Carnegie Training. “What Drives Employee Engagement and Why It Matters,” p. 6. https://www.dalecarnegie.com/ assets/1/7/driveengagement_101612_wp.pdf. 4. Ibid.

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5. Lencioni, Patrick. The Advantage: Why Organizational Health Trumps Everything Else in Business (San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 2012), 47. 6. Camalier, Greg. Muscle Shoals. Netflix. Dallas: Magnolia Films, 2013.

Chapter 6: Think Critically 1. Cowherd, Colin, You Herd Me: I’ll Say It If Nobody Else Will (London: Penguin Press, 2013), 28. 2. http://www.usatoday.com/story/gameon/2012/10/24/ rodgers-professor-never-succeed/1654723/. 3. McChesney, Chris, Sean Covey, and Jim Huling. The 4 Disciplines of Execution: Achieving Your Wildly Important Goals (New York: Free Press, 2012), 30. 4. http://www1.hansgrohe.com/assets/at—de/1404_Hansgrohe _Select_ConsumerSurvey_EN.pdf. 5. Walvoord, John F. and Roy B. Zuck. The Bible Knowledge Commentary. Logos Bible Software (Colorado Springs: David C. Cook, 2002).

Chapter 7: Reject Passivity 1. Hylton, Jeremy. “The Merry Wives of Windsor.” Tech.MIT.edu. http://shakespeare.mit.edu/merry_wives/merry_wives.2.2.html. 2. Turner, Bonnie, Terry Turner, and Fred Wolf. Tommy Boy. DVD. Directed by Peter Segal. Los Angeles: Paramount Pictures, 1995.

Chapter 8: Challenging Up 1. Kouzes, James M. and Barry Z. Posner. The Leadership Challenge, 3rd ed. (San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 2003), 180. 2. Associated Press. “Brewers Jonathan Lucroy Rejects Trade to the Indians.” New York Times. July 31, 2016. https://mobile.nytimes .com/2016/08/01/sports/baseball/milwaukee-brewers-jonathan -lucroy-cleveland-indians.html.

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3. Seinfeld. “The Strongbox.” Episode 170. Directed by Andy Ackerman. Written by Dan O’Keefe and Billy Kimball. NBC, February 5, 1998. 4. Barra, Alan. “How Curt Flood Changed Baseball and Killed His Career in the Process.” The Atlantic. July 12, 2011. https://www .theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2011/07/how-curt-flood -changed-baseball-and-killed-his-career-in-the-process/241783/. 5. Kouzes, James M. and Barry Z. Posner. The Leadership Challenge, 4th ed (San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 2008), 48. 6. Widener, Chris. Leadership Rules: How to Become the Leader You Want to Be (San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 2010), 156.

Chapter 9: Breaking Down Challenging Up 1. Cuddy, Amy. “Your Body Language Shapes Who You Are.” YouTube, October 1, 2012. https://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=Ks-_Mh1QhMc. 2. Buckingham, Marcus. The One Thing You Need to Know. (New York: Free Press, 2005), 22. 3. Quote of the Day. http://www.qotd.org/search/single .html?qid=2016. 4. AZ Quotes. http://www.azquotes.com/quote/223506. 5. Adams, Scott. How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big: Kind of the Story of My Life (New York: Portfolio Publishing, 2013), 230. 6. Kouzes, James M. and Barry Z. Posner. The Leadership Challenge, 3rd ed (San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 2003), 184. 7. Sinek, Simon. “Start with Why.” YouTube, September 29, 2013. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sioZd3AxmnE.

Chapter 10: Your Next Chapter Starts Today 1. Ramsey, Dave. EntreLeadership: 20 Years of Practical Business Wisdom from the Trenches (New York: Howard Books, 2011), 15. 2. Snyder, Benjamin. “Half of us Quit our Job Because of a Bad Boss.” Fortune. http://fortune.com/2015/04/02/quit-reasons/.

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