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The twice-weekly student newspaper of the College of William and Mary — Est. 1911 VOL.98, NO.30 Tuesday, February 10, 2009 FLATHATNEWS.COM

316th Annual Charter Day The Three-person rule Students chosen for task force Webb honors College’s legacy Focus group also made By JORDAN Slick up of city residents The Flat Hat By IAN BRICKEY U.S. Sen. Jim Webb (D-Va.) addressed the Flat Hat Staff Writer College of William and Mary community Satur- day at the Charter Day ceremony. His speech Williamsburg Mayor Jeanne Zeidler appointed mem- emphasized not only the College’s rich history, bers of a focus group that will be tasked with consider- but also its continued importance in the nation, ing possible changes to the controversial three-person especially in light of the current economic down- rule Friday. turn. Currently, the city prohibits more than three un- “As someone who has spent much of my ca- related people from living together in a Williamsburg reer as a writer and writing about and promoting residence. the study of American history, I applaud you for In addition to several city residents and officials, Zei- staying so closely connected to the past,” Webb dler appointed College of William and Mary students said at the annual ceremony in Phi Beta Kappa Nick Fitzgerald ’09 and David Witkowski ’11 to the Hall. “The early commitment to education by the group. Fitzgerald, the editor-in-chief of the online edi- colonists who founded this institution has been tion of the Virginia Informer, a conservative campus furthered, in the grandest tradition of true intel- newspaper, also serves on the Student Assembly Ex- lectual and philosophical growth, at a pace that ecutive Appropriations Committee. Witkowsky is the has kept it at the very forefront of the evolution SA Secretary of Public Affairs. The appointment of an of our country itself.” additional student is pending. In addition to his praise of the College, Webb “I selected people with suggestions from others,” Zei- emphasized the gravity of the current economic dler said. “I wanted to keep it a relatively small group so climate, citing the expanding income gap as the people could have their voices heard, [and] I wanted to root of the problem and its reversal as paramount have students represented by more than one student.” to eventual financial stability. Zeidler chose Fitzgerald and Witkowsky via recom- “The middle class of this country, our historic mendation of SA President Valerie Hopkins ’09. backbone, our best hope for a strong future, has “I think the mayor intended for it to have a broad rep- been steadily losing its place at the table,” Webb resentation of neighborhoods and positions on the city said. ordinance,” Hopkins said. “She asked me for several The senior senator from Virginia later student recommendations, however, and for the most stressed the role the College would play in end- part, trusted my opinion.” ing this crisis. The 12-member panel will investigate residents’ con- “As a public institution, formed in order to cerns regarding students living off-campus, student ob- benefit what the British crown in your charter jections to the three-person rule, and will explore pos- called its ‘well-beloved and trusty subjects,’ Wil- sible revisions of the city’s housing statutes. liam and Mary is certainly well-positioned to play The panel’s focus will be the future of zoning and a leading role in the important work of restoring housing in Williamsburg. economic fairness and opportunity in our coun- “Clearly the three-person rule is the biggest issue,” try,” he said. Fitzgerald said. “But hopefully we can find a compro- Webb has served in the Senate since 2007, mise and some middle ground and reach an equitable during which time he most notably spearheaded solution for all parties.” the Post 9/11 G.I. Bill, greatly expanding the According to Witkowsky, the community dialogue benefits granted to those in the armed services Photos by John Quinn — the flat hat could bring progress to an issue that has divided resi- within the original G.I. Bill, instituted in 1944. [To p : Fr o m Le ft t o Ri g h t ] French professor Katherine Kulick, who received the Thomas Jefferson award, is dents and students in Williamsburg for years. At the ceremony, Webb was awarded an pictured with BOV Rector Michael Powell. College President Taylor Reveley is pictured with Muscarelle Museum “The goal is to discuss issues [including] occupancy founder Gene Lowry. Devin Oller ’09 received the James Monroe Prize in Civic Leadership. [Ab o v e ] Sen. Jim Webb See Webb page 3 addresses the audience as the keynote speaker at the Charter Day ceremonies. See FOCUS page 3 College utilizes SAT O’Connor teaches politics to activists

By Megan Keeling change on campus and in the community. action, assuring the audience that “it is Flat Hat Staff Writer The event was sponsored by Virginia possible to get people of different views reporting service 21, a coalition of over 45,000 members with together to solve the issues.” Chancellor of the College of William 45 chapters at colleges and universities O’Connor then asked the students about By Adam Lerner times, which I think is excessive,” and Mary Sandra Day O’Connor spoke at across the state. Virginia 21 advocates the issues currently confronting the College. Flat Hat Staff Writer Dean of Admission Henry Broaddus the Alumni House Sunday morning to a issues that affect college voters in Virginia, Due to recent concerns, the first ques- said. group of students and activists from across such as the price of tuition and textbooks. tion addressed the housing restrictions The College of William and Mary Even though Score Choice itself the state of Virginia. The former Supreme Court justice first in campus communities, particularly the will accept Score Choice, the new is free, some officials fear it will grant O’Connor took questions from stu- addressed the importance of bipartisan- three-person law in Williamsburg, which score-reporting service offered by Col- an unfair advantage to wealthier stu- dents about the best ways to effect political ship and persistence in taking political limits the number of unrelated people who legeBoard, which will allow students to dents who can afford to take the test can live in one house. send colleges only their best cumula- multiple times. O’Connor advised students to use tive SAT examination score. Other officials, including Broad- strength in numbers to back a compromise While Score Choice, according to dus, think Score Choice solves a with city governments. CollegeBoard’s website, is “designed nonexistent problem, since their “You have the clout,” she said. “If you to reduce student stress and improve universities already combine the top come up with some kind of solution, you the test-day experience,” some top uni- section scores for a student across might be heard.” versities have already said that they different test-dates. She also asked whether or not the Col- will reject the option. Admissions of- “We have always been looking lege has ever supported a student-friendly ficials from universities such as Yale at the highest possible composite candidate to run for city government, and University, Cornell University and the score. We’re comfortable combining some of the crowd brought up the Matt University of Pennsylvania say that critical reading from one date and Beato campaign from the spring of last Score Choice may have negative effects math from another date,” Broaddus year. including encouraging students to take said. “We were never averaging, we “He was a student? Uh-uh,” O’Connor the test more times than necessary. were never holding against a stu- said, wagging her finger at the audience. “The fear, of course, is that once you dent the fact that he or she took the “You need to get someone, maybe a friend- take away the sense that how many test on multiple occasions, or that ly aunt or uncle [to run],” she said, noting times you’ve taken it is seen, you’re one seemed significantly lower of the importance of having a candidate who going to contribute to the unbridled a score than others. So creating a could relate to a broader demographic of frenzy of folks that think already that Caitlin Fairchild — the flat hat they should take the test three or more See SAT page 2 O’Connor spoke to students and activists about taking political action on a local level. See O’Connor page 3 Page 2 Tuesday, February 10, 2009

News Editor Alex Guillén News Editor Miles Hilder NEWS INSIGHT [email protected] Street Beat How do you feel about Juicy Campus shutting down? ‘Stabilitas et Fides’ 25 Campus Center, The College of William and Mary, Williamsburg, VA. 23185 Newsroom (757) 221-3281 —­ Advertising Dept. (757) 221-3283 — Fax (757) 221-3242 The Flat Hat — [email protected] News — [email protected] Variety — [email protected] Sports —­ [email protected] Opinions — [email protected] ADVERTISING — [email protected] Austin Wright, Editor-in-Chief Jeff Dooley, Managing Editor — Alice Hahn, Executive Editor Brian Mahoney, Online Editor Alex Guillén, News Editor Taylor Martindale, Copy Chief “I don’t think it needed to be “Maybe I’ll stop writing about “Maybe I’ll stop wondering who “They opened up a new website Miles Hilder, News Editor Vanessa VanLandingham, Copy Chief shut down, but I don’t really Robby Greene so much.” keeps writing about me.” for that kind of stuff so it doesn’t Ashley Morgan, Variety Editor Caitlin Fairchild, Photo Editor Andrew Pike, Sports Editor Maral Noori, Photo Editor care either way.” make much of a difference Russ Zerbo, Opinions Editor Alexander Ely, Chief Staff Writer anyway.” Kelsey Weissgold, Business Manager Tom MacWright, Web Director Connie Kelly ’12 Brian Kirst ’11 Robby Greene ’12 Caitlin Kenney ’12 Mike Crump, Assoc. News Editor Leah Fry, Copy Editor Maggie Reeb, Assoc. News Editor Amanda Goodman, Copy Editor — photos and interviews by Bertel King, Jr. Sam Sutton, Assoc. News Editor Logan Herries, Copy Editor Isshin Teshima, Assoc. News Editor Megan Keeling, Copy Editor Summer Finck, Assoc. Variety Editor Katie Lee, Copy Editor City Police Beat Rachel Rudebusch, Assoc. Variety Editor Jack Hohman, Chief Photographer Pam Snyder, Assoc. Variety Editor Liz Horne, Production Assistant Matt Poms, Assoc. Sports Editor Meredith Nall, Production Assistant Chris Weidman, Assoc. Sports Editor Michael Kirby, Senior Sales Representative Feb. 2 to Feb. 8 Alexa McClanahan, Assoc. Opinions Editor Reggie Gomez, Local Sales Representative license. Ameya Jammi, Insight Editor Matthias Jamora, Local Sales Representative 3 — A 52-year-old female was arrested on Bertel King, Jr., Insight Editor Jessica Dobis, Accountant Catherine Anderson, Copy Editor Juae Son, Accountant the 1000 block of Ironbound Rd. for alleged Chelsea Caumont, Copy Editor Jin Woo, Accountant 3 1 trespassing. 4 Wednesday, Feb. 4 — Three Corrections 5 individuals were arrested on the 700 block of The photo in the Feb. 6 issue of “That Guy - David Gordon” was incorrectly attrib- Scotland St. for alleged strong-arm robbery. uted to Caitlin Fairchild. The photo was actually taken by Gregory Marinelli. 4 Thursday, Feb. 5 — A 29-year-old male was arrested on the 700 block of Scotland St. 2 The Flat Hat wishes to correct any facts printed incorrectly. Corrections may be for allegedly driving while intoxicated. submitted by e-mail to the section editor in which the incorrect information was printed. Requests for corrections will be accepted at any time. 5 Friday, Feb. 6 — An individual was arrested on the 1400 block of Richmond Rd. for allegedly stealing a generator, air

Weather 8 compressor, electric and gas heater, drill gun 7 4 and impact gun. Tuesday Wednesday Thursday 6 Saturday, Feb. 7 — A 19-year-old male was arrested on the 100 block of Jamestown 6 Rd. for alleged underage possession of alcohol and public drunkenness. 1 — An 18-year-old male was arrested on High 73 High 75 High 63 the 2100 block of Richmond Rd. for allegedly Low 53 Low 52 Low 40 leaving the scene of a car accident. Source: www.weather.com 7 — A 22-year-old male was arrested at the intersection of Scotland St. and Richmond courtesy GRAPHIC — GOOGLE MAPS Rd. for allegedly being drunk in public. News in brief 1 Monday, Feb. 2 — A 17-year-old female 1900 block of Richmond Rd. for allegedly 8 Sunday, Feb. 8 — A 55-year-old male was arrested on the 3000 block of Richmond driving with a suspended license. was arrested at the intersection of Lafayette Reves Center holds speaker series Rd. for allegedly driving with a suspended 2 Tuesday, Feb. 3 — A 26-year-old female and N. Boundary St. for allegedly driving license. was arrested on the 200 block of Monticello with a suspended license. The College of William and Mary’s Reves Center for 1 — A 23-year-old male was arrested on the Ave. for allegedly driving with a suspended — compiled by Bertel King, Jr. International Studies will host a speaker series entitled, “The World in America.” The series will explore how the world has influenced America and American identity. It will feature scholars and filmmakers speaking on a range of topics including the current global economic crisis, City receives ‘StormReady’ certification immigration, race and identity. The series begins Feb. 17. All lectures are free and open to the public. For information on the series and speakers, please see the Williamsburg becomes first to earn title in the Historic Triangle Reves Center’s website, wm.edu/revescenter/campus/World_in_ America.php. By BRYNN KOEPPEN tended a course on meteorology, followed other StormReady community despite the Flat Hat Staff Writer by a class called SKYWARN. fact that Williamsburg is a big tourist area General Assembly considers smoking restrictions SKYWARN is a program initiated in the and contains that the College of William and The City of Williamsburg is “Storm- early 1970s to promote a more cooperative Mary. The House of Delegates voted 61-3 yesterday to tentatively Ready.” effort between the National Weather Ser- “If anything, it may have been easier be- approve an amended version of a bill calling for statewide restrictions StormReady, an official certification giv- vice and local communities. cause of the concentration size of the ’burg,” on smoking in restaurants, according to the Richmond-Times en by the National Weather Service, is given The SKYWARN program enlists the help Weiler said. “In any disaster in Williamsburg, Dispatch. The Senate version of the bill was received yesterday to “communities [that] are better prepared of “storm spotters” or local community resi- we will attempt to go community wide start- evening and will be voted on again today. to save lives from the onslaught of severe dents to report tornado conditions to emer- ing with Colonial Williamsburg and William The bipartisan ban, a compromise between Gov. Timothy M. weather through better planning, education gency services such as the fire or police and Mary because of the concentrations of Kaine and Speaker of the House William J. Howell, would make and awareness.” departments. persons that may be outdoors ­— tourists, exceptions for private clubs and restaurants with a designated There are currently 1,411 StormReady “SKYWARN concentrates on reading the athletes, et cetera — then [move on] to indi- smoking room that is physically separated and independently communities in the United States. In the warning signs for severe, fast-moving events vidual neighborhoods.” ventilated from non-smoking dining areas. It would also exclude state of Virginia, Williamsburg is one of such as tornadoes. Tornadoes move [in] on Weiler said he pursued the StormReady any permanent outdoor patio area of a restaurant or any portion of only 20 communities and is the first in the a community so quickly that, unless one has project because it could receive and distrib- a restaurant used just for private functions. Historic Triangle to become StormReady. a radio turned on, one may not know of it ute information in multiple ways. The city was awarded the title Jan. 8. approaching,” Weiler said. “The idea, then, “All public and a few private schools have Education department fills higher ed post In order to become StormReady, a com- is to be able to read the signs that may indi- systems to receive our warnings, we can munity must participate in a rigorous grass- cate a [Tornado] Watch and sound the alert. [also] break into station WMBG and send The U.S. Department of Education has selected a longtime roots approach to emergency notification From this point in my career, I felt I owed it script over TV 48,” Weiler said. department analyst to fill one of two key posts relating to higher systems. to the community to be able to execute an At the College, a similar approach is also education, according to the Chronicle of Higher Education. The criteria include the establishment of early warning.” used to report emergencies around cam- Daniel T. Madzelan, who has been with the department since a 24-hour warning point and emergency op- It took Weiler and city officials over two pus. The College currently has two emer- 1978, has been named acting assistant secretary for postsecondary erations center, the capacity to relay severe years to qualify the city. There are now gency systems in place — the Emergency education. He will be in charge of administering most of the weather warnings to the public in multiple roughly 100 community members classified Response Plan and the Continuity of Opera- agency’s programs for colleges and students. ways, the creation of a system that moni- as members of the Neighborhood Response tions Plan. Madzelan’s most recent job was to develop the department’s tors weather conditions locally, the promo- Team. Members report relevant information According to Anna Martin, vice president annual budget request for student financial aid and to direct major tion of public readiness through community such as wind gusts and cloud formations. of the Office of Administration, there is also policy studies in that area. seminars, and the development of a formal To join the Williamsburg NRT, citizens an emergency notification system and build- hazardous weather plan, which includes must submit an application and pass a struc- ing coordinators for each building. ­— by Bertel King, Jr. training severe weather spotters and hold- tured training course which culminates in a The city will continue to work closely ing emergency exercises. lengthy exercise that includes a mock struc- with the Williamsburg police and fire -de City of Williamsburg Fire Chief T.K. tural collapse. partments, and mandatory emergency evac- By the Numbers “Buz” Weiler made the decision to pursue According to Weiler, Williamsburg’s cer- uation plans will be required of all students the StormReady certification after he- at tification process was not harder than any by next year. 12 The number of times Stevie Wonder has performed at the Grammy College to let applicants choose submitted SAT scores Awards. He holds the record for most performances at a Grammy Ceremony. This year, Wonder performed a duet with the Jonas SAT from page 1 — and maybe the student took send all of their scores].” what we’ll be doing on our side is Brothers, according to the New York Times. the test once and seeing that in Of the six options that the combining your highest possible situation where we don’t see how conjunction with some other College Board gave to the [score],” Broaddus said. “If, many times a student takes the demographic factors might lead member universities to reflect on the other hand, you are 30 test has no substantive bearing an admissions officer to say, their stance on Score Choice, comforted by the ability to take on our process.” ‘maybe this test is a little less Broaddus said the College them and then wait and send The percent increase in size of the Grammy Award statue in 1991. Still, Broaddus explains, representative of the student’s chose number two, in which it us those, that certainly is your implementing Score Choice may ability to succeed,’” Broaddus will accept Score Choice but prerogative and that’s going to withhold contextual information said. “Now, what we won’t know encourages students to send be fine, too.” 26 that could be helpful for certain is, was this a student who took it scores from every testdate. Score Choice will first be students. once or was this a student who “What we’re saying is, just for available to students taking The number of Grammy Awards held by Alison Krauss, who holds “The great example of that is took it several times and that this the ease of applicants, we would the March 2009 SAT. Score the record for female artists. Krauss also won the most awards this at a high school where it’s not the is the highest? So, I sort of regret recommend that you go ahead Choice will also enable students year, sharing five Grammy Awards with Robert Plant. norm for students to be bound to not having that information, but and designate William and Mary to choose which SAT II tests, four year institutions — where not to any degree that we’re as a recipient of your test scores regardless of test-date, to send — by Ameya Jammi it’s a first generation student willing to require [students to when you sit for the test, and to colleges.

150 million Tuesday, February 10, 2009 Page 3 College may stand to benefit from stimulus package By Mary bellini large passed this fast is astounding,” Archibald said. “The other thing that will lined. The Pell Grant would be increased “In Obama’s bill, you can push your Flat Hat Staff Writer economics professor Robert Archibald have impact here is aid for states. That to $5,350 for the next academic year and taxes into negative. The government said. “When you’re going to make major relieves pressure on [our] state budget, another $200 added the year after. hands you a check,” he said. The American Recovery and changes to the tax curve and spending, and maybe they won’t cut [the College’s However, Feldman stated that this Overall, Feldman said that the Pell Reinvestment Act, President Barack there’s all kinds of special interests that budget] as much as they planned on.” aspect of the stimulus package would Grant boost and the tax credit schol- Obama’s new stimulus package, is the typically slow down the process.” The plan will use expansionary fiscal have little effect on the College. arship would have minimal impact on largest economic bailout plan the United As of press time, the act had passed policy that calls for tax cuts and govern- “William and Mary is one of the College students. States has ever seriously considered — the House of Representatives and was ment spending to stimulate aggregate schools that has the lowest Pell Grant In addition, Archibald said that the and part of it will be used to support awaiting a vote from the Senate. A Senate demand. The goal is to lead the American pick-up rate in the nation,” Feldman said. funds would be most effectively used higher education. vote may come as early as this Friday. economy toward full employment. “We don’t have the kinds of students that when invested in campus infrastructure. In addition to helping the average U.S. Archibald, an expert in higher educa- The exact framework of the package would benefit directly from this sort of “Some of the potential aid is for build- citizen, according to economics profes- tion economics, predicted that Obama’s will only be revealed upon passage in program, but what it might mean is that ing projects on [campuses], which is sors at the College of William and Mary, stimulus package could relieve state pres- the Senate and signing by Obama. This we would be able to get more of them.” important for lasting effect,” Archibald the act will send ripples throughout the sures to cut the College’s budget. makes it difficult to predict the impacts Feldman also mentioned that income said. “If they give money to build struc- nation’s higher education system. “The things that you hear talked on higher education. tax credits would be another aspect of the tures and they are around for 40 years, it “The fact that [Congress] is trying about are aid for student loan money that Some aspects of the bill pertaining to new stimulus package. The money saved is much different than paying professor’s to defy all history to get something this could be useful for [College] students,” higher education have already been out- would go toward educational expenses. salaries or student loans.”

Chancellor Sen. Webb speaks Students selected for housing panel Cl a s s i f i e d s addresses at Charter Day FOCUS from page 1 to the number of people per house but they are not at the root of the problem,” Hopkins WEBB from page 1 rules in the city and to ultimately [deliver] an said. advocates optimal solution to the Planning Commission The panel’s ability to find compromise Headache? Neck pain? O’CONNOR from page 1 honorary doctorate of public service from the and City Council about how to deal with cur- may be affected by the city lawsuit against Back pain? Sports College. Others to receive honorary doctor- rent occupancy rules,” Witkowsky said. students living at 711 Richmond Rd. who Injury? Stress? We can the Williamsburg commu- ates included Muscarelle Museum founder Williamsburg has been slow to act and allegedly violated the three-person rule. help. Visit www.perfor- nity. Gene Lowry, and current director of the reluctant to discuss amending the housing Zeidler said that she was not sure how the mancechiropractic.com to Another question was Museum of Modern Art, who received an and zoning laws in the past, Fitzgerald said, focus group would be affected by the case. see how CHIROPACTIC, on how O’Connor’s politi- honorary doctorate of arts and John Hope echoing others who have criticized the panel “I think it is one piece of information that APUCPUNTURE, and cal career began. The Franklin, a distinguished African American for being merely a formality. may be discussed,” Zeidler said. “I’m not MASSAGE help you Chancellor described the historian, received an honorary doctorate of “Hopefully we’re not there to just screw going to tell them what to talk about.” be your best. For more information, or to sched- challenges of finding a job as humane letters while in absentia. around, [but] I’m optimistic,” Fitzgerald said. Fitzgerald said the incident has been criti- ule an appointment, call a woman lawyer in the late Additionally, outstanding faculty, students Students will represent a minority of cal in the dispute over the three-person rule. Performance Chiropractic 1950s, and emphasized the and alumni were honored at the ceremony. the panel. Several panel members have “It definitely shows us where the city is at 229-4161. (Ad autho- value of taking advantage of The Thomas Jefferson award was presented expressed support for the three-person rule. at,” Fitzgerald said. rized by Dr. Daniel Shaye, every opportunity. to French professor and Board of Visitors fac- “Yes we’re outnumbered, but we were put While the focus group will investigate chiropractic physician, “Be creative,” she said, “If ulty representative Katherine Kulick. Geology together for a reason,” Fitzgerald said. “This local housing and zoning issues, it probably W&M 1990) you make something out of professor Rowan Lockwood received the issue doesn’t have an either-or solution, and will not end the three-person rule. what you are able to do, you Thomas Jefferson Teaching Award. hopefully the focus group can find a third “I don’t think it will be abolished,” will be noticed.” Student honorees included Kelly Hallinger option.” Fitzgerald said. “My goal would be to find a The final question ’09 who was awarded the TJPNP for her work Fitzgerald said residents’ concerns are third option and we go from there.” Have graphic design expe- addressed the issue of parti- with the biology department. Devin Oller ’09 not with student neighbors so much as the However, the new dialogue could bring rience? William and May san redistricting in Virginia. was presented with the James Monroe Prize quality of those neighbors. more tolerance between both sides. Model Congress is look- “States have the power to in Civic Leadership. He, among other achieve- “The three-person rule does not directly “I hope that the focus group will finally ing for someone to help change this system, but most ments, led service trips to Africa and served address the problems residents have with come to a conclusive and comprehensive create a logo, contribute to of them won’t,” O’Connor as the vice president of the Health Outreach students,” he said. “I live in a properly zoned understanding of the true sources of ten- a website, and design pub- said, acknowledging the Peer Education program. building across the street from the Methodist sion,” Hopkins said. “I am hoping that the lications. Contact Daniel challenges of changing laws Alumni Medallions were presented to church ... we’ve never had a complaint.” members of this group will convene in the Thorpe at dthorpe@ which benefit lawmakers. Sarah Kemp Brady ’64, Lynn Malzer Dillon Hopkins said the problem lies in the num- spirit of mutual interest and understanding wmmodelcongress.org if Again, she advocated the ’75, Henry H. George ’65, Harrison R. Tyler ber of student renters. and that they will be creative and open to you are interested. importance of compromise ’49 and Sunshine Trumbo Williams ’44 for “I firmly believe that many of the reasons new solutions.” and patience when lobbying their demonstration of the College’s ideals of why some residents are so diametrically The panel begins public meetings next for political change. leadership, service and charity. opposed to changing the rule may be related week. A report is expected in May. Page 4 Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Opinions Editor Russ Zerbo Associate Opinions Editor Alexa McClanahan [email protected]

OpiniStaff Editorials ons Education in need of stimulation t’s only a matter of days until President Barack Obama’s massive stimulus package passes out of ICongress and on to Americans’ homes, schools and highways (and hospitals, and fisheries, and digital converter boxes ...). While the exact composition of the package remains known only to congressional conference committee members hashing out the compromises, it will no doubt include some money for higher education in its final iteration. But the amount of money is still open for debate. We hope that Congress will make the smart choice to invest in American colleges and universities. Certainly almost everyone who stands a chance to receive government handouts is making a similar plea right now, but the argument for education spending — especially higher education spending — carries considerably more weight. Without question, additional schooling offers enormous returns on investment, and the stimulus package promises to both improve the quality of American education and increase access to it. Moreover, the College community in particular knows the value of dollars lost and dollars gained. A helping hand from the stimulus could free Virginia from the need to make further, or at least deeper, budget cuts. And considering the current funding woes, treading water really doesn’t sound so bad at all.

In our opinion ... By Vi c k y Ch a o , Fl a t Ha t Ca r t o o n i s t

n Thanks to the efforts access programming. Yet of City of Williamsburg Fire they still can’t reach you on Chief T.K. “Buz” Weiler, the Facebook (Williamsburg International service trips not worth the cost city is now StormReady — is: Tornadoes. Oh noes!!1). meaning, we suppose, that Next tsunami, we’re which undermine the image we’d like to preserve. until a month ago, it was doomed. Now, the first and most commonly offered justification Long Vinh for the cost of a trip is that it motivates and inspires the StormUnprepared. But no n The College of William participants to do more service. Service trips beget more Flat Hat guest columnist matter. The new certification and Mary rarely appears service, the proponent will say -— they are life-changing carries the blessing of the alongside the descriptor experiences. This common cost-justification can be National Weather Service “Great Sports School,” but questioned in many ways. First, the obvious response is that and indicates that the city that doesn’t mean that its The unconditional moral goodness, or aura of nobility, that it is completely egoistic in nature. How ironic that a service currently surrounds international service trips is both wholly trip’s primary justification is a motivational boon on the part has implemented an official- athletes don’t meet with unjustified and undesirable. of its participants? Second, it is not clear that the motivation sounding, multifaceted success. Claire Zimmeck A prototypical IST costs $2,000 a head, taking 10 students accrued truly lasts a lifetime. How long, really, will the buzz disaster-response and warn- ’09 capped off an incredible to build one house for one family over the span of a week of the trip hold out once the participant returns to the daily ing process. That makes soccer season with a draft in a developing nation. The pessimist wonders why those grind of exams, extracurriculars and social activities? Third, pick from the Washington looking to help don’t just donate the money. If you used it seems rather roundabout to promote local service via it only one of 20 Virginia the money to pay carpenters in the community, you could international means. Why not engage people in local service communities to do so — Freedom. Overnight, she build 10 houses within the same time frame as well as inject directly? Fourth, there are other ways to motivate people — I although it still lags behind ascended from grad school capital into the village, rather than can rent a DVD from Blockbuster for “TsunamiReady” neighbor, candidacy to the top ranks of into airlines and hotels. Most ISTs five dollars with plenty of sorrowful and Norfolk. Seriously. women’s soccer, and when quickly acknowledge that the trip If my argument holds, the IST harrowing images of poverty, which is not cost-effective on the basis of would subsequently motivate me to go At any rate, when hazard- her season begins, she’ll community must accept that ISTs purely altruistic benefits. In other are primarily selfish endeavors. out and do service. ous weather looms you can be playing against world words, no service trip defends its If my argument holds, the IST rest assured Williamsburg’s cup contenders. Her suc- endeavor by claiming that flying in community must accept that ISTs emergency services are cess proves that a focus on 10 undergraduates for a week is the most appropriate way to are primarily selfish endeavors. But if this conclusion is trying to reach you on football and basketball alone meet the needs of the given community. unpalatable, what are some outs for the IST community? I conceive of service trips as existing along a rough I alluded to it at the beginning of this article: If a multiple channels. They’ll ignores some truly top-notch continuum, with pure service on one end and what I’ll service trip can provide a benefit to the community, even interrupt your local performances. call poverty tourism on the other. Pure service would addressing needs that can only be met with the arrival be selflessly meeting the most pressing needs of a given of 10 undergraduates on an annual or semi-annual basis, community in the most efficient manner, whereas poverty then the trip is both cost-justified and noble. For instance, The staff editorial represents the opinion of The Flat Hat. The editorial board, which is tourism would basically be gawking at poor people. The if no one else will perform an epidemiological survey in an elected by The Flat Hat’s section editors and executive staff, consists of Austin Wright, Jeff Dooley, Alice Hahn, Ashley Morgan and Andy Peters. more egoistic justifications a trip utilizes to justify its costs, area ravaged by preventable illnesses and the service trip the more it shifts away from pure service and toward poverty participants lead the initiative, then they have indeed done The Flat Hat welcomes submissions to the Opinions section. Limit letters to 250 words tourism. The closer a trip gets to poverty tourism, the less a great service. Now, it is up to the IST community to figure and columns to 700 words. Letters, columns, graphics and cartoons reflect the view of inclined we should be to attribute an aura of nobility to it. The out which parts of their trips fit that bill. the author only. E-mail submissions to [email protected]. most effective cost-justifications tend to be the most egoistic, Long Vinh is a junior at the College. SWAS is merely a distraction from the College’s real problems

For those of you who have been to campus. Any idea why these two sides had taken up arms and raced different houses. More lawsuits and living under a rock, let me summarize groups might not get along? onto the scene, and the same old evictions certainly seem possible over Alexander Ely the conflict quickly. In one corner we It’s basically like the First Battle of culture was back. the coming months. have student groups — many of whom Bull Run, culture-war style. Everyone Here’s a simple idea: If you are one On campus, the Dean’s Office and Flat Hat Chief staff Writer are part of the campus counter-culture chooses sides, and the few who don’t of the people who is actively supporting the Office of Student Affairs continue — who see the show as promoting a just pack a picnic basket and come out the show, great. But is it really in their onslaught against Greek Life. healthy dialogue on issues of sexuality, to watch. necessary to raise extra controversy Perched in their Campus Center A lot of questions have been raised class, gender and poverty. They The problem over the last few years simply because you can? penthouses, the enforcers-in-chief about the Sex Workers’ Art Show. Is it believe that while controversial and was that each group was more focused On the other side, isn’t there seem content to cover the fraternities educational art or pornography? Does provocative, the show is useful and something better to do with your with a magnifying class and watch it accomplish its purpose of raising beneficial for the student body. They time than bitch and moan about one them burn like ants. This semester awareness about a sector of society correctly argue that no one — the state, It’s basically like the First Battle on-campus event that is sponsored by a could see the complete demise of that most folks overlook, or does it the College or its president — has a of Bull Run, culture-war style. variety of groups and has the financial on-campus Greek Life, although that simply incite controversy? Was former right to censor the content of the show. Everyone chooses sides, and the backing of elected student leaders? process began long ago. College of William and Mary President On the other side are people who few who don’t just pack a picnic If you’re really that bored, why not The College continues to suffer in Gene Nichol justified in allowing the say the show is tasteless — that it basket and come out to watch. conduct a study on how Virginia has the midst of an economic crisis that show to come to campus? undermines the standards of education the dumbest state legislators in the is likely to get worse, and there is Is current College President Taylor that the College promotes, and that it nation? That would probably help the a proposal in the Virginia General Reveley also justified in doing so? invites unnecessary scandal to a school on insulting and demonizing the College more than showing up to the Assembly that would make the College Should Virginia General Assembly that has experienced more than it other than they were on productively SWAS and waving a sign. 80 percent Virginians, assuring that we members just shut up and mind their could take over the past few years. Last defending their point of view. The tenor The fact is there are far more slip a few more spots in the U.S. News own business? (The answers to these year, they showed up waving signs and of the debate was shameful, and the important things facing the student & World Report rankings. questions, by the way, are in order: heckling the performers. College suffered as a result. body, and devoting such time to the These problems are serious. They art, both, yes, yes and please God yes They believe that the show consists This year, when the news broke Sex Workers’ Art Show is dangerous. affect the livelihood and well-being of before I drive up to Richmond and of total perverts, that it is disgusting, that Reveley would not block the In the past week alone, we’ve learned large percentages of the student body. completely lose it.) and that no argument — based on the performance, tempers flared again. that city residents are spying on The Sex Workers’ Art Show doesn’t. But there’s one question that so far First Amendment or any other logic — Within an hour of the story being students by, among other things, In fact, it doesn’t really matter at all. nobody has asked: Who cares? could justify inviting the performers posted on The Flat Hat’s website, both recording the cars that are parked at Alexander Ely is a senior at the College. Tuesday, February 10, 2009 Page 5

Variety Editor Ashley Morgan Variety [email protected] Lighting up produces flame of fame Eugenia Hannon ’10 gains YouTube following from smoking videos

By Brian Mahoney the video had hundreds of views, and innuendo. One of the masters of Flat Hat Online Editor people kept watching. They subscribed this method was film actress Mae and left comments and requested that West, whose sexually-charged films If you’re looking for YouTube’s Hannon smoke different types of of the 1930s were often set in bars next sex symbol, you may need only cigarettes. They fell in love with her with many back rooms suggestive look as far as Eugenia Hannon ’10. face and the way she smoked. Her of brothels. West transmitted her Over the past six monthss Hannon, videos became powerful, suggestive sexuality through double entendres whose username is fusswhip, has and inadvertently sexual. (“Is that a pistol in your pocket or gathered a following through her Hannon’s popularity is even more are you just glad to see me?” she “Smoking Smoking” video series on fascinating if you consider the history of asks a man in the 1936 film, “She YouTube. sexual suggestiveness in film and video. Done Him Wrong”), a sauntering One of Hannon’s videos has more In 1930, the Motion Pictures gait, or a slowly-smoked cigarette. than 37,900 views and her YouTube Producers and Distributors West’s suggestiveness seemed just profile page has 1,057 subscribers. Association — known today as as powerful — if not moreso — than According to Hannon, they are mostly the Motion Picture Association of the real thing because, for one of the male between the ages of 35 and America — adopted an industry-wide first times in film history, it inspired 50. For YouTube standards, where list of censorship guidelines that the viewer to imagine, speculate and the most popular videos often have would guide and guard the “morality” fantasize. millions of subscribers and tens of of motion pictures brought to the While YouTube doesn’t claim to millions of views, this may seem American viewing masses. have the moral imperative of the modest. Until you consider what What resulted from the censorship Hays Code, it does place limits on Hannon actually does in the videos. act — known as the Hays Code after material similar to that prohibited in She smokes. That’s it. President of the MPPDA William 1930. YouTube masks this censoring Will Carmines —The Flat Hat “I like smoking a lot,” Hannon said. Harrison Hays — was a strictly detailed authority by avoiding the legalize that Eugenia Hannon ’10, known on YouTube as fusswhip, smokes a cigarette in her “Over the summer, I smoked a lot. and extensive list of restrictions that so dominated the Hays Code. One bathroom for her online audience. Her “Smoking Smoking” video series features her And I really liked it. I liked the way would, for three decades, alter the of its guidelines advises users not to doing nothing but smoking. The series has earned her exposure on the fetish-video scene. it looks. I like the way it looks on the ways in which movies were made. “post bad stuff” like animal abuse, screen.” Murders could not be shown in detail. drug abuse, under-age drinking or videos in back room settings — like Hannon realizes that, for most of Hannon began posting to YouTube Nakedness and suggestive dancing smoking. bathrooms — that incite in the viewer her viewers, she has become a sex last year, but she didn’t smoke in were prohibited. “Scenes of Passion” YouTube’s primary guideline, a heightened sense of voyeurism. She object. those early videos. She kept a video should be avoided at all costs. If such however, is its prohibition of sexual talks sparingly throughout her videos “I realize it’s a fetish,” she said. journal under the same username scenes were necessary, the code said, content. and often includes music. But there is But Hannon also said that many but only talked about her personal they should be rendered so as not “YouTube is not for pornography very little to the videos themselves. of her viewers simply like the non- life and never expected many to to “stimulate the lower and baser or sexually explicit content,” the site Only the viewers’ imaginations, sexual, platonic intimacy that her watch. Her first ever video portrays element.” The MPPDA — and much of says. “If this describes your video, which, considering the hundreds videos provide. She said that many her dancing strangely to a Bollywood the country — feared the unalterable even if it’s a video of yourself, don’t of comments she receives, seem of her viewers have enjoyed watching movie soundtrack. It has just over and hypnotizing power of the moving post it on YouTube.” limitless. her smoke because she so visibly 1,000 views. image and the licentiousness such But what about sexually implicit “You are by far the best smoker on enjoys it. And in today’s media, where And then, one night, she lit up. images could provoke. content? Does YouTube, like the Hays the net,” a user named Cigfetisher01 smoking itself is as taboo and subject “The first [smoking video] I was While greatly limiting the images Code, allow for the same sort of said in a comment. to censorship as sex was in the ’30s, actually at home, and I was outside,” that directors could show on the suggestiveness that could indirectly “You, smoke Newport 100’s good it’s understandable how it offers some Hannon said. It was late at night and screen, the Hays Code allowed “stimulate a lower or baser element?” choice, your [sic] starting out right, a short thrill. Hannon’s YouTube I was bored and I was just smoking for a sort of artfulness that, while Hannon herself has the looks of a remember deep, deep inhales, and videos, like the Hays Code, is a unconsciously. The video didn’t have avoiding direct references to themes Hollywood debutante from the 1930s. always chain smoke, your [sic] testament to the power of suggestion an overwhelming purpose.” as scandalous as sex and violence, Her cropped hair and round face seem cute, from a young guy,” user But within a week, Hannon said, gracefully suggested them through almost vintage, and she places her sterling4youbabe said. See Youtube page 6 Behind Closed Doors 25 Things I hate about this trend Cheating: an excusable mistake? By Alice Hahn egocentric to mundane. Inherently self-centered, the Flat Hat Executive Editor act of writing such a list elicits so-called interesting Others define cheating as engaging in sexual facts you often already knew or had no interest in activity. This definition can be as stringent as Boredom can lead to all sorts of things people knowing. Many people take full advantage of the Maya Horowitz to include kissing or as loose as to be okay wouldn’t do otherwise: eating an entire package opportunity. One girl was able to include references flat hat sex columnist with everything up to sex. Some people are of Oreos, lighting things on fire, spending hours to her wonderful boyfriend, high school MVP status okay with physical contact, but draw the line looking up pictures of Chace Crawford. Lately and 10 cruises she’s been on. at emotional connection — the fuck- but-don’t- though, boredom has facilitated the widespread Drop. Valentine’s Day is coming up and I suppose love approach. Facebook trend 25 Things. A careful part of the presentation is the idea that it that means, as the sex columnist, I’m required Almost everyone, when polled, will answer The premise is simple: After you’ve been tagged, was involuntary. Most everyone who posts 25 Things to speak to it in some way. This day is meant that cheating (whatever the definition) is carefully select the 25 most compelling and flattering includes a disclaimer — a sentence, if not a paragraph to celebrate committed relationships, but wrong. However, these same people will things about yourself, and then tag 25 of your — about how they never do this type of thing and instead I’ve decided to address those who hesitate when asked if they would forgive closest friends. Self-serving? Of course, but what is only succumbed to the pressure of friends. find themselves unable to stay committed someone who cheated on them or if they Facebook about if not the cultivation of the image Obviously, all who have tackled the trend are — a Valentine’s Day column about cheating. have ever cheated themselves. This is an you present to your friends and semi-friends? so exceedingly popular that people just won’t stop This topic may be a bit of a downer, but I interesting dichotomy. The facts people include on their lists range from tagging them. think it fits for this week since only people People have very strong moral inclinations in exclusive relationships have the burden of against adultery, but a great many of them dealing with cheating. are willing to accept it. Why is that? Perhaps Before we dive head first into this topic, it’s because cheating is common in our sexual 25 Things about students from the College let’s review what cheating is. Some people society. 1. I was completely pro-life until senior year 10. In winter, the first things I put on when movie and start singing. have a very strict definition: Fantasizing about Statistics to bolster this point are hard to of high school. I’ll just let you guys fret I get out of the shower are socks haha... — — Katherine James ‘12 someone else or flirting with a potential mate come by. Pollers have to rely on the honesty about why. — Ashlee Harris ’10 Afsoon Anvari ‘12 19. I don’t plan on ever taking my husbands is off-limits. This is a bit harsh, considering of their subjects and since cheating has such 2. I have this overwhleming feeling that if i 11. World of Warcraft and I are in a love/ last name. I mean, how could it be cooler 81 percent of women and 86 percent of men dont accomplish as much as Alexander the hate relationship. I hate that it wastes all than the one I have now? Answer: it can’t admit routinely flirting with the opposite sex. See Cheating page 6 Great did, i have somehow failed in life. of my time, but I love playing with my (RL) be. — Liz Pedraja ’09 — Spencer Sullivan ‘10 friends. — Mike Erickson ’10 20. I love the muffins at the Daily Grind! If 3. I do not nap. Ever. — Katie Clough ‘12 12. I am that girl who will give you the death you had not tried them you are missing out. CONFUSION CORNER stare if you talk on the third floor of Swem, — Hannah Thornton ’10 4. I’ve danced and sung onstage at the Ken- don’t let that person be you. nedy Center. Cappies 2004, The Boy Friend, — Danielle Bourget ’09 21. The strangest pet I’ve ever had was a EHS Theater. — Gabby Brooks ‘10 crayfish named Scooter. He lived for about The law doesn’t always say what it means 13. When I was a kid i was convinced there a year and a half (between 2nd and 3rd 5. When I was 2 or 3, I loved cars and my were elves living in the goldenrod bush grades). He lived in the bathtub. grammatical mistakes at the beginning of mom would take me to the parking lot to pet behind my neighbor’s house and I used to — Mallory Johnson ’10 tires. — Jack Kamensky ’09 build them little houses out of twigs. paragraphs. Whatevs. Brad Clark — Amy Dorsey ’09 22. I cry at movies, especially ones that in- Irregardless, when confronted with such a 6. I have a very unhealthy addiction to Life- volve changes over time. I tear up constantly flat hat Confusion savers mints - typically WintOGreen, but occa- Corner Columnist situation, unless you’re a proponent of some 14. I hate/strongly dislike the color pink. during “Bicentennial Man”. Hell, I even sionally PepOMint or Sweet Mint just to keep When I joined Phi Mu, I seriously considered found myself getting a bit watery during sort of “American Beauty”-meets-“Rambo” things fresh. I’ve gone through an entire bag petitioning to the national headquarters to “Click” (same time theme). Call me a woman vigilantism, you have to get on with whatever in a day before... — Joe Kessler ‘10 get them to change their colors. if you must but never doubt that it took some Sometimes things break down. People don’t you were doing in the first place. For the most — Stephanie Driggers ‘10 balls to admit that. — Ryan Uyehara ‘10 7. I feel bad about how much I enjoy cuss get along — they misread motives, make poor part, in a small town like Williamsburg, you words. Saying fuck is REALLY fun. I also take 15. I’ve never ridden a motorcycle, even 23. When I am listening to the radio in my assumptions, etc. Sometimes people just don’t will see these people again. And again. And issue with what people deem “appropriate” though my dad has owned one for almost car the volume number has to be even or like you for, apparently, no reason at all. It’s sometimes even again. in society. — Ginny Burk ’10 ten years. — Monica Duggan ‘09 evenly divisible by the number 5. — Abigail Lemon ’09 probably your haircut. Or the fact that you The funny thing is that most people don’t 8. The earliest memory I have is the day my 16. I am addicted to The New York Times. It’s wear sunglasses at night and make wild claims do that. Real life adults — sometimes smart brother was born. My mom had spoken to my crack. Don’t take it away from me. 24. Heavy construction equipment fascinates that your dad invented Toaster Strudel. Maybe and respectable adults — oftentimes act in her doctor on the phone and told me she had — Kate Afanasyeva ‘09 me. When they were building the ISC I would sit in the lounge and watch the different you wear shorts that leave your whole ass ways that would earn a fair amount of corner- to go to the hospital to have my brother. My 17. I really want to go to Disney World. My machines working for long stretches of time. hanging out when you ride the stationary bike watching, had your first grade teacher caught first reaction? “Can I please finish my yogurt first?” — Alexa Hoyne ’10 favorite place is Magic Kingdom. ­— Jim Dunleavey ’10 at the Rec Center, leaving the poor sod behind you in flagrante so many years ago. When — Ashley Nguyen ’10 25. Besides the Black Plague and how gross you to marvel at the daunting implications — you see this from the outside, you just want to 9. I wrote my college essay for William 18. I am extremely easily amused. I do a lot the reality of Medieval times were, I think it physics-wise — that your ass-jiggling entails shake those people and tell them to get along. and Mary about peeing my pants. Really I did. Though I’ve been clean for going on 9 of giggling. There are these trees on campus would have been really cool to live during while pondering the largest possible distance Sometimes that works (see: Obama vis a vis months. Yay running! — Caitlin Kenney ‘12 that look like their from The Lion King, and them. Obviously as like a higher end of that can lie between “self” and “awareness” every time I walk past them I imagine the society or whatnot. — Briana Calhoun ’10 (I mean, really?). Or maybe you make See LAw page 6 Page 6 Tuesday, February 10, 2009 Outcomes, definitions of cheating differ CAPSULE REVIEWS It’s Not me. It’s You Lily Allen The Fray The Fray Cheating from page 5 time. People like to have their opinions may not have solid cake and eat it too. Or they just footing. With cheating as “Why can’t we all just be honest?” A simple After scoring serious exposure on the a large stigma, people often lie. don’t put any thought into what prevalent as it is, is it really and straightforward question contemptuous soundtrack to “Grey’s Anatomy” back in 2005, The Associated Press says that they’re doing — maybe they practical to take a hard line British pop singer Lily Allen asked and looked The Fray has since captivated a large fanbase with 22 percent of men and 14 per- drunkenly impale themselves on it? I am not implying that to answer on her sophomore album, “It’s Not their repertoire of piano-laden pop-rock tunes. On cent of women have admitted to on the nearest penis. Regardless just because it’s prevalent we Me, It’s You.” Notorious for her brusque lyrics their self-titled second album, the alternative extramarital relations. However, of the reason, or how well or should accept it as good, but and vapory lilts, Allen returns to spread more quartet adopts the same approach resulting in a the Journal of Couple & poorly, the cheater handles the I think that it’s something we British humor with glares of brash commentary sound and style nearly identical to their debut set, Relationship Therapy suggests situation, sex happens. need to talk more about and on celebrity falsities and drug-poppers, amidst “How to Save a that these numbers are com- So how can a relationship hide less. relationship quips. With sugary confections, Life.” With a pletely off, and that the truth is move on after this kind of inci- I speak from the perspective she can politely tell you to fuck off, as in her more upbeat that 50 to 60 percent of married dent? As with all things sexual, of someone who has never song, “Fuck You” — another middle finger, or melody than men and 45 to 55 percent of the solution must be catered cheated nor ever been cheated figurative “shoe,” thrown at Bush’s face. much of their married women have cheated. to the specific circumstances. on. But, theoretically, I believe Though the new album gives cheating previous work, Cheating is American sexual There’s a huge difference that cheaters can still be good boyfriends and raunchy, lewd cities from her “The Syndicate” culture’s dirty little secret. We between an inebriated embrace and faithful partners in the previous album, “Alright, Still,” a backseat to her doesn’t dazzle like to pretend it’s not happen- that goes a little too far and see- future. Look at it this way: No addictive pop songs, the cynical yet inquisitive but fits well ing and ignore it until we’re ing someone else on a regular one likes the idea of dog poop tempest is always present. Her first single, “The as an opener. forced to face it. We love to basis. Yet the underlying prob- on his or her carpet, but if Fear,” points to a light and quirky pop ditty Many of the take the moral highground and lem remains the same: loss you’re buying a puppy, you can filled with Hollywood scrutiny and drawbacks of remaining act shocked, awed and indig- of trust. Jealousy is a difficult expect to have a little present distorted perceptions. “I am a weapon of massive tracks, however, exhibit the band’s unwillingness nant when we find out some- emotion to control even when in the living room every consumption / It’s not my fault, it’s how I’m to step away from predictable, underwhelming one has cheated. But it’s all a there is no evidence of cheat- once in a while. If we take programmed to function.” lyrics and presentation. After listening to the facade. People in loving rela- ing. Bring an actual incident this attitude toward cheating Allen bashfully pipes and coos on each track, album’s radio-friendly first single “You Found tionships consider cheating all into the picture and you’ve got — that it is a forgivable, if complimented with daring, foul-mouthed lyricism Me,” it can be hard to distinguish one song from the time. And it’s not a black- a potentially unhealthy situation undesirable, element in many and new instrumentation, thanks to producer the next. and-white situation. There are on your hands. relationships — maybe we can and member of A careful listen reveals a slight attempt by the good — or at least understand- I think that cheating is not condition ourselves to maintain The Bird and group to be less soft on this record; the result is able — reasons to cheat. as big of a deal as we make it trust, even if there are one or the Bee, Greg a mix of hits and misses. “Ungodly Hour” creates Obviously, the best solution if out to be. It is a largely unad- two digressions. Kurstin. Kurstin a more intimate sound by using less production you want to cheat is to break up dressed issue in our sexual Maya Horowitz is The Flat reinvents Allen’s than most songs in the album but, like a few oth- with your significant other first. lives. Most people feel very Hat sex columnist. She hopes her sound with bright, ers, seems to carry on just a little too long. Still, But this doesn’t happen all the strongly about it, but their readers aren’t two-timing her. organic melodies the soft instrumentation gives frontman Isaac (“22,” “Who’d Slade the opportunity to serve up a rich vocal Have Known”), performance. In contrast, heavy percussion and curvy, rapid beats a grittier guitar presence takes a rare precedence (“Everyone’s At over the piano in “We Build Then Break.” Here It,” “Back To The and elsewhere, Slade gives a rather strong deliv- Start”) and short, accordion snaps (“Never Gonna ery, but occasionally falls into a phlegm-filled Happen”), with less variety and experimentation of whine that can detract from his otherwise appeal- other genres. In the midst of her media blunders ing vocals. While it is refreshing to hear the band and personal tragedy, a miscarriage. Allen com- experimenting, albeit sparingly, with its sound, pletes an electro-pop album with modern twists it is the glaring mimicry of their first album that and attentive instruction. Always the outspoken makes this sophomore effort seem considerably songstress, Allen’s album allows her to pack lasting bland. Nevertheless, the traces of musical matu- provocations dripping with charm and smiles that ration “The Fray” sporadically unveils bode well carry more venom than candy. for their future material. — by Genice Phillips — by Tim Heck iiiii iiiii Student earns fanbase for smoking habit

Youtube from page 5 nostalgic. been offered payment to appear on “Some people have told me a smoking fetish website, which Olivia Walch — the flat hat and innuendo that, while veiling that my videos remind them of she has turned down because, sexual desire, is just as apt at their mothers from the ’30s and she said, it was too close to transmitting it to the gazing ’40s, back when it was much more pornography. She may, however, viewer. acceptable for people to smoke,” create a pay-subscription website Hannon also said that, while Hannon said. that would allow users to watch her videos are suggestive to Hannon does not smoke as her smoking. some, to others they are heavily much as she used to, but she has She has yet to try a cigar.

Will Carmines — the flat hat Eugenia Hannon ’10 films videos in her bathroom, which have developed a following. Laws should not be one-size fits all law from page 5 keep the College of William and Mary party scene (oxymoron?) out of the surrounding Democrats and Republicans. I hope.), sometimes neighborhoods. We know this because Clyde it doesn’t (see: Israel-Palestine). Haulman accused students of vomiting on In the case of 711 Richmond Rd., I have bushes, having sex on cars, killing neighborhood sympathy for both the residents and the Iago- animals, and all sorts of things so vile that I sounding professor. (And no, you can’t escape hesitate to mention them in a public forum. This this issue, even if you turn to the Variety makes the current law the equivalent to your section. Tune in next week when The Flat girlfriend telling you to “please put the toilet seat Hat blames men’s basketball’s loss at James down” when she really wants you to cancel your Madison University on the three-person rule.) subscription to Playboy, book Valentine’s Day People want to live their own lives — something reservations and get a god damn haircut already. Americans generally support for their fellow One thing has nothing to do with the other. And citizens, so long as it doesn’t interfere with their there’s still no promise that you’ll remember to own individual ability to do so. This is why we put the toilet seat down. have all kinds of neat things like laws that say The solution? Probably some sort of you have to pick up your dog’s poop and that compromise that addresses the actual issues prohibit other things like public masturbation. involved. What would that look like? I don’t In this case, however, the actions of both know; maybe strict enforcement of the noise parties are kind of understandable — even if ordinances after 1 a.m., the creation of a special the professor’s actions have a certain “Scooby student housing zone in the city or a new sex-on- Doo”-villain ring to them. The students wanted cars division in the City of Williamsburg police to party; the professor wanted to sleep. Ok, department. (Do I smell a new “Law & Order?”). fine. There should probably be some sort of I do know that the only way to solve a problem is compromise there, law-wise. But do we have to be honest about what it actually is. Even if that that? No, instead we have the three-person means coming to the painful realization that your rule. A broken system fostered this broken shorts from high school don’t fit anymore. relationship. Brad Clark is a Confusion Corner columnist. He We know that the rule exists nowadays to still blames Jewel for costing him the race. Tuesday, February 10, 2009 Page 7

Sports Editor Andrew Pike Inside SPORTS [email protected] What’s on TV? Sound bytes By the numbers Soccer “I wanted to prove to everyone that USA vs. Mexico I was worth being one of the great- — 7 p.m. Wednesday on ESPN2 est players of all time. I did take a 1 banned substance and for that I am Home losses this season by the Eastern College basketball very sorry and deeply regretful.” Conference-leading Cleveland Cavaliers #6 Duke vs. #3 UNC — Alex Rodriguez on the revelation that after a 101-91 home defeat to the Los — 9 p.m. Wednesday on ESPN he tested positive for steroids in 2003. Angeles Lakers Sunday. women’s tennis College shuts down Wisconsin, moves to 2-2 Tribe downs Badgers behind strong singles performances from Acharya, Zoricic

By CHRIS WEIDMAN We shouldn’t have lost the doubles point. We lost to with a 6-3, 6-2 victory. Flat Hat Assoc. Sports Editor defensive teams, which means that our offense was On the fourth court, Tribe junior Carmen Pop not as strong as it should have been.” fought back from an early 4-1 deficit to surge back No. 24 TRIBE 5, No. 68 WISCONSIN 2 95th-ranked senior Kat Zoricic, who plays no. 1 for a 6-4, 6-3 win. Pop’s doubles partner, freshman For the second time in two weeks, the 24th- singles for the Tribe, regrouped after a shaky dou- Katie Kargl, captured the final victory for the Col- ranked College of William and Mary (2-2) rebound- bles game to secure the fourth and deciding point lege in a 7-6, 0-6, 10-8 showing. ed from dropping the doubles point to regain form for the College in her 6-2, 6-3 triumph over the Bad- Pop and Kargl combined for the Tribe’s only in the singles competition for another come from gers’s Elizabeth Carpenter. Zoricic emerged from doubles victory, making fast work of their oppo- behind victory. the break with a renewed passion and focus that nents after working an early break to their advan- The Tribe handed no. 68 University of Wiscon- Carpenter could not match. tage. sin (2-3) their third loss of the season in Sunday af- “Doubles is something we have all been work- Despite being up 6-4, the College’s no. 2 dou- ternoon’s 5-2 decision at the McCormack-Nagelsen ing on and working through all the frustrations bles team of senior Barbara Zidek and Kasztelaniec Tennis Center. [associated with] playing with new partners,” Zori- could not finish off the Badgers duo of Aleksandra “We have experience [and] seniority in the cic said. “I think all of us are feeling a little more Markovic and Jessica Seyferth, losing the set in a top three,” Head Coach Meredith Geiger-Walton comfortable with our singles, so I don’t think it was 7-3 tiebreaker and allowing Wisconsin to secure said. “They know what Tribe tennis should be at ever out of question that we could win all of our the doubles point. in terms of the level, and they know what they are singles matches.” The 37th-ranked team of Acharya and Zoricic capable of. So when it comes down to it, they can No. 79 junior Ragini Acharya handled Wiscon- struggled to find their groove losing to an unranked carry the weight and rise to the occasion and get sin’s Emese Kardhorao 6-1, 6-1 in the fastest con- Badgers squad, 8-3. the job done. test, while teammate senior Klaudyna Kasztelaniec The Tribe returns to action at the University of william sendor — the flat hat “Obviously getting the victory always feels good. improved her spring singles record to 3-1, finishing Maryland Feb. 18. Senior Klaudyna Kasztelaniec Zimmeck earns spot in new pro soccer league

ZIMMECK from page 8 Head Coach Jim Gabarra selected her with the final pick in the ninth round of the league’s draft. With conceivable honor, leading her squad to four straight the selection in her back pocket, graduate school NCAA Tournament appearances and finishing third was suddenly out of the picture. all-time in career goals. Now, instead of grinding through essays and bi- Until early December, Zimmeck was enjoying the ology homework, Zimmeck is training locally five remainder of her senior year, preparing to graduate days a week in anticipation of the March 1 start of in the spring and worrying about being accepted to the Freedom’s preseason. graduate school. “I usually have three months to prepare for the “I didn’t know [I had a chance at playing profes- fall [college] season and only one month for this,” sionally] until I got an invite for the combine,” she Zimmeck said. “You have to be in shape for any said. “Everyone who was going into the combine had team you go on, and I try to be in the best shape I no idea whether they would get drafted or not, but the can. For this, there’s more on the line.” opportunity came and I just tried as hard as I could.” The stakes will be high. In less than a month, Held in Ft. Lauderdale, Fla., the draft combine the agile forward, who had little trouble zigzagging gave WPS coaches and scouts an advance look at through CAA defenders, will instead be taking the players under consideration, with the event drawing field with such legendary players as U.S. National many of the best amateur and professional players Team standouts Abby Wambach and Cat Whitehill. in the country. There, Zimmeck mixed with 71 oth- In daily practice, Zimmeck will have to find a way to er athletes all aiming for a coveted draft slot, while fire shots past goalkeeper Briana Scurry — a two- 72 additional players competed at an identical event time Olympic gold medalist and World Cup cham- in California. pion. “It was nice because I had a good group of girls, “She’ll be a little intimidating. She’s got a lot of and we bonded really quickly,” Zimmeck said. “They experience, and, [after] seeing her play against Chi- split us up into four teams. We were the only team na in the World Cup, she’s a great player,” Zimmeck that won games, and I made some good friends so it said. “All the players have a great level of experi- was a good experience.” ence and they play at a high level. I’m going to be Emerging from that event, Zimmeck felt confi- honored to play with them and excited to learn.” dent in her performance. But faced with the long The competition will certainly not be easy, but for odds of ending up on a WPS roster, she was far from now, Zimmeck is excited to be playing a short dis- certain of her chances. tance from her home and prepared to begin work- “I still had no clue,” she said. “All the WPS ing toward earning a spot in the Freedom lineup. coaches were there, but [the players] were all in the “I have to go in and prove myself,” she said. jack hohman — the flat hat dark.” “Everything is up in the air, so we’ll see what hap- Senior forward Claire Zimmeck was drafted 63rd overall by the Washington Freedom in the WPS draft Jan. 16th. All that changed when Washington Freedom pens.” Tribe struggles in road contest at VCU men’s basketball from page 8 and committed five turnovers, helping to fuel the Rams’ offensive eruption. VCU guard Eric Maynor, who scored a game- high 13 points and dished out 7 assists, finished off the run with two free throws after Tribe Head Coach Tony Shaver re- ceived a technical foul for arguing with an official over a call. VCU extended its lead to as many as 25 points in the second half, continuing to carve up the Tribe’s defense and disrupt the College’s offense with its pressure. “Their speed is phenomenal,” Shaver said. “We just don’t have it on the floor. Re- ally, position-by-position their speed was very disruptive all night long.” VCU’s 11 steals were its second-highest total in conference play. Junior guard David Schneider was the only Tribe player to score in double fig- ures with 11 points. The College returns to action tomor- row when it hosts the University of North Carolina-Wilmington at 7 p.m. in Kaplan Arena. The Tribe defeated the Seahawks 73-59 on the road in the teams’ first meet- john quinn — the flat hat ing Jan. 7. Junior guard Sean McCurdy (pictured here playing against VCU Dec. 6) scored two points Saturday at the Rams. Women’s tennis: tribe tops wisconsin Tuesday, February 10, 2009 Page 8 SEE PAGE 7 sportssports feature Sp o r t s in b r i e f cross country Moran ’03, Newberry ’00 Graduating to the pros qualify for World XCs College of William and Mary Head Coach, Kathy Newberry Zimmeck joins new ’00, earned third at the USA Cross Country Championships women’s soccer in Derwood, Md., Saturday. Newberry, competing in the franchise in D.C. open women’s 8-km race, fin- ished in 27:40. Meanwhile, Tribe By MATT POMS cross country and track and Flat Hat Assoc. Sports Editor field Assistant Coach Ed Mo- ran ’03 placed fifth in the open On the final Friday of winter break, men’s 12-km event, running 36:18. Both Moran and New- College of William and Mary senior for- berry will represent the United ward Claire Zimmeck sat glued to her States at the IAAF World Cross computer monitor, anxiously hitting the Country Championships March refresh button while watching a steady 28 in Amman, Jordan. succession of names scroll across the screen in front of her. woMEN’S basketball The date was Jan. 16, and the three- Tribe runs out of gas in time All-American was hoping for her own name to appear among the 70 slots overtime at Drexel in the inaugural draft of the newly formed The College of William and Women’s Professional Soccer league. Mary (11-11, 4-7 CAA) led con- For Zimmeck, the day represented the ference-leading Drexel University climactic moment of a once-in-a-lifetime (14-8, 9-2 CAA) by five with 1:37 opportunity. remaining in overtime, but could “I was just waiting, basically every- not seal the victory in a 76-74 loss thing was on the line,” Zimmeck said. Sunday afternoon in Philadelphia. “I was going to apply to grad school if it Freshman guard Taysha Pye fin- didn’t work out, so I was just waiting until ished with a team-high 18 points, Jan. 16 to see what would happen.” but missed two shots down the For hours, the Fairfax native intensely stretch, presenting Drexel with surveyed the selections, each passing an opportunity to come back in pick inching her farther from the realiza- overtime. Marisa Crane’s jumper in the lane with two seconds left tion of a professional soccer career. Fi- jack hohman — the flat hat won the game for the Dragons. nally, with eight slots remaining, she saw The Washington Freedom, a team in the new Women’s Professional Soccer league, drafted senior forward Claire Zimmeck in its Jan. 16 draft. what she had been waiting for — Zim- swimming and diving meck had been drafted by her hometown team the Washington Freedom. East Carolina sweeps past “I had no idea [if I was going to be Women’s Professional Soccer — By the numbers Tribe on senior day drafted]. It took a long time, and I was The College of William and really nervous,” she said. “Right after- Teams in the league League games each team Mary men’s and women’s teams wards, one of the assistant coaches called for the 2009 season will play in the first season fell to East Carolina University me. I was pretty excited.” 7 20 Saturday on the Tribe’s senior The selection capped a remarkable day. Junior Katie Radloff contin- collegiate career for the three-time All- ued her strong season, winning American. During her four years at the Million dollar operating Washington Freedom games three events, and freshman Hai- College, Zimmeck racked up nearly every budget for each team on Fox Soccer Channel ley Hewitt tied Radloff’s single- 2.5 7 season victory mark at 27 after See ZIMMECK page 7 she won the 200-yard backstroke. But the Pirates prevailed 163-137. On the men’s side, senior Shawn men’s basketball Matthews won the 200-yd back- stroke. Junior Kevin Gallagher (200-yd freestyle) and sophomore Andrew Quesenberry (25-yd free- style) were the team’s other in- VCU blows out Tribe dividual winners in the College’s 189.5-106.5 loss to ECU. College’s turnovers give Rams plenty of easy baskets track and field By ANDREW PIKE ents combined to create a disastrous recipe for Shriver earns IC4A qualifier Flat Hat Sports Editor the College (6-17, 2-11 CAA) Saturday night in Richmond. in high jump at CNU TRIBE 54, VCU 76 The Rams scored 25 points off the Tribe’s 19 College of William and Mary Just over two minutes into the game against turnovers and consistently found holes in the senior high jumper Cameron Virginia Commonwealth University Saturday, College’s defense for easy shots. Shriver cleared 6’8.25” to qualify the College of William and Mary was down 9-1. “I thought their defense was exceptional to- for the IC4A Championships. It only got uglier from there. night,” Shaver said. “It really unnerved our guys Shriver is the defending IC4A high “I thought on Wednesday night against a re- and we just never could regain our composure. jump champion. On the track, ally fine Northeastern team, we held our com- We just couldn’t get things going our way.” junior Cabell Rosanelli won the posure extremely well and really executed our After starting the game on a quick 9-1 run, the mile in 4:16.54. For the women, ju- stuff,” Head Coach Tony Shaver said on the Rams struggled for a few minutes as the Tribe nior Kayley Byrne (mile), senior Tribe Radio postgame show. “Tonight, we didn’t cut into the lead, eventually getting within 13-8 Ashley Madonick (800-meter), have composure from the first 30 seconds of on senior forward Chris Darnell’s three-pointer. sophomore Emily Jeremiah (pole vault) and junior Ashley Williams the game to the very end. They forced us into a But that’s as close as the College would get. (weight throw) won their respec- tempo we can’t play right now.” A jumper from Ed Nixon started a 21-5 VCU tive events. The end result — a 76-54 thrashing at the run, which put the Rams up 34-13 with 3:29 hands of the Rams (17-7, 10-3 CAA) — featured remaining in the first half. During the spurt,

— By Andrew Pike 19 Tribe turnovers (due in large part to VCU’s which ran for 9:02, the Tribe hit just 3 of 10 shots courtesy photo — VCU ATHLETICS aggressive fullcourt pressure) and a 55 percent Freshman forward Quinn McDowell and senior forward Peter Stein watch as shooting effort from VCU. Those two ingredi- See MEN’S BASKETBALL page 7 VCU’s Larry Sanders finishes an alley-oop in the Tribe’s 76-54 loss Saturday. Sc o r e b o a r d men’s gymnastics men’s tennis 2/7 @ No. 21 Wake Forest — L, 6-1 2/8 @ No. 3 Georgia — L, 6-1 College finds form in easy victory over JMU women’s Gymnastics 2/9 @ Penn State Quad Meet — By JACK POLLOCK first event with a clean, solid routine be- after an explosive vault to earn a career- 3rd-place out of 4 Flat Hat Staff Writer fore senior James Prim posted a 14.4 to best 14.95, edging Fried’s score of 14.90. take the event. Junior Josh Fried and Gy- Senior Jay Hilbun rounded out the trio TRIBE 335.65, JMU 285.55 gax also performed well, receiving scores with a solid 14.60. The 13th-ranked College of William of 14.1 and 14.05, respectively. After a good run on the parallel bars, Sc h e d u l e and Mary (4-1) set season bests in five of Prim put together standout perfor- the College had its most extraordinary six events en route to dominating James mances on pommel horse and rings. His showing on the high bar as the team beat Wed., Feb. 11 Madison University Sunday afternoon at score of 14.45 earned him the win after its previous high score by almost seven women’s basketball Kaplan Arena. The Tribe’s impressive executing a difficult routine to near per- points. Hilbun and Gygax set the tone @ Delaware — Newark, Del. — 335.65-point total easily surpassed the fection. Prim continued his strong effort with identical scores of 14.45 to tie for 7 p.m. Dukes’ 285.55, proving that the College on the rings with a 14.45, good for anoth- first, while senior Sloan Crawford placed men’s basketball has enough talent to be a major threat er first-place finish. His effort propelled third with a 14.15. All five Tribe com- this season. the College to a season-high 55.15 total petitors in the high bar set season-high UNC-WILMINGTON — 7 p.m. Junior Derek Gygax solidified his spot in the event. scores. as a team leader with wins on high bar “Our first three competitors on pom- “It’s great to see us perform well as Fri., Feb. 13 and a runner-up finish on rings. mel horse stepped up and nailed their a team like we did today and make big men’s tennis The College showcased its tremen- routine, which really set the tone for the strides since our first meet,” Valeska @ Maryland — College Park, dous depth with a number of great per- rest of the meet,” Head Coach Cliff Gau- said. “But we still have a lot of room left Md. — 3 p.m. formances in each event, especially on thier said. for improvement.” women’s Gymnastics floor exercise. The Tribe fared well on the vault as The College has the rest of the week to @ Delaware — Newark, Del. — MaraL noori-moghaddam — the flat hat Sophomore Andy Hunter earned a well, with sophomore Chris Valeska lead- prepare for its road trip to no. 12 Temple 7 p.m. Sophomore Andy Hunter strong second-place mark of 14.25 in the ing the way. Valeska stuck his landing University Saturday.