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The Saint There Were Two Evil Brothers. They Were Rich, and Used Their

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The Saint There Were Two Evil Brothers. They Were Rich, and Used Their The Saint There were two evil brothers. They were rich, and used their money to keep their ways from the public eye. They even attended the same church, and looked to be perfect Christians. Then, their pastor retired, and a new one was hired. Not only could he see right through the brothers' deception, but he also spoke well and true, and the church started to swell in numbers. A fund-raising campaign was started to build a new assembly. All of a sudden, one of the brothers died. The remaining brother sought out the new pastor the day before the funeral and handed him a check for the amount needed to finish paying for the new build ing. "I have only one condition," he said. "At his funeral, you must say my brother was a saint." The pastor gave his word, and deposited the check. The next day, at the funeral, the pastor did not hold back. "He was an evil man," he said. "He cheated on his wife and abused his family." After going on in this vein for a small time, he concluded with, "But, compared to his brother, he was a saint." 10 Reasons Why the Terrorists Weren't Greek 1. 6:45 am is too early for most Greeks to get up. 2. Greeks are always late, they would've missed all 4 flights. 3. 18 Greeks can't even organize a simple lunch together! You think they can or ganize such an attack? 4. Greeks only use their cellular phones to make missed calls and not to commun icate with each other. 5. Free alcohol on the plane, get it? 6. The suspected car found outside of Boston Airport would have been a BMW or a Mercedes, not a Ford. 7. They wouldn't have a meeting in Afghanistan "there are no girls there, perhaps in Sweden. 8. Talking behind each other's back would start a big fight on the plane. 9. Hot girls on the planes would have distracted them. 10. Their mothers wouldn't have let them. Gorilla Five men end up stranded on a tropical island. The only female around is a gorilla on the other end of the island. After one whole month the guys are all sitting around and Garry stands up and says, "I'm so horny, I can't take it anymore!" So he grabs a bag and storms off to the other side of the island with his pals right behind him. They catch the gorilla, each guy grabs an arm or leg and Garry puts the bag over the gorilla's head. He climbs on top of the gorilla and begins to do the nasty. The gorilla fights and struggles and finally gets an arm free and she wraps it around Garry's back. Then she gets both feet free and wraps them around Garry's waist. She gets her other arm free and grabs on to his hips and starts pulling him in harder and harder. Garry yells to his buddies...."Get it off!! Get it off!! They said, "You're on top, we can't get her off of you." Garry said... "No, I mean the bag.. I want to kiss the bitch!" Thing's a boss can't say to a Worker. Phrases You Can Use In A Myriad of Business Situations. Or maybe what you'd like to say. 1) Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique >point of view. 2) The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an >artist. 3) I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce. 4) Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental. 5) I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn. 6) I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid. 7) What am I? Flypaper for freaks!? 8) I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant. 9) I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth. 10) Ahhh... I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again... 11) I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about >you. 12) It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off. 13) Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial. 14) No, my powers can only be used for good. 15) How about never? Is never good for you? 16) I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me. 17) You sound reasonable... Time to up my medication. 18) I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter. 19) I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message... 20) I don't work here. I'm a consultant. 21) Who me? I just wander from room to room. 22) My toys! My toys! I can't do this job without my toys! 23) It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level >I'm really quite busy. 24) At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive >habits. 25) You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers. 26) I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself >in public. 27) Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject. The Frog and the Princess. Once upon a time, in a land far away, a beautiful, independent, self assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat, contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle. The frog hopped into the princess' lap and said: "Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I am and then, my sweet, we can marry and setup housekeeping in yon castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so. That night, as the princess dined sumptuously on a repast of lightly sauteed froglegs seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled to herself and thought: I don't fucking think so. If you can survive death, you can survive anything. Blonde joke's Q. Did you hear about the new blonde paint? A. It's not real bright, but its cheap, and spreads easy. Q. What did the blondes left leg say to her right leg? A. Between the two of us, we can make a lot of money. Q. How does a blonde part their hair? A. By doing the splits. Q. What did the blondes right leg say to the left leg? A. Nothing, they haven't met Q. Why did the blonde like the car with a sunroof? A. More leg-room! Q. Why is a blonde like a doorknob? A. Because everyone gets a turn. Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball? A. You can only fit 3 fingers in a bowling ball. Q. What does a screen door and a blonde have in common? A. The more you bang it, the looser it gets! Q. How can you tell a blonde has had a bad day? A. She has a tampon tucked behind her ear and she can't find her pencil Q. What's the difference between a blonde and an ironing board? A. Its difficult to open the legs on an ironing board. Q. What does a blonde say after multiple orgasms? A. "Way to go team!" Q. What do you call a blonde with a runny nose? A. FULL Q. What happened to the blonde tap dancer? A. She slipped off and fell down the drain. Q. Why is it good to have a blonde passenger? A. You get to park in the handicap zone. Q. What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells? A. Pregnant Q. What's the difference between butter and a blonde? A. Butter is difficult to spread. Q. What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you? A. Pull the pin and throw it back. Q. What do you call a blonde standing on her head? A. A brunette with bad breath Q. What do blondes and cow shit have in common? A. The older they get, the easier they are to pick up Q. Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice? A. Cause it said concentrate. Q. How can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer? A. The joystick is wet. Q. Why do blondes wear underwear? A. To keep their ankles warm. Q. What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? A. "Are you sure it's mine?" Q. Why do blondes have bruised belly buttons? A. Because they have blond boyfriends Q. What do blondes and beer bottles have in common? A. Their both empty from the neck up Q. What do you call a blond with a brain? A. A golden retriever Q. How can you tell that a blonde sent you a fax? A. It has a stamp on it. Q. How do you light up a blondes eyes? A. Shine a torch in her ear. Q. Why do blondes have square breasts? A. Because they forget to take the tissues out of the boxes.
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