Vol. CCLII, Live Free! or Die No. 22 The New Hampshire Gazette First Class U.S. Postage Paid July 25, The Nation’s Oldest Newspaper™ • Editor: Steven Fowle • Founded 1756 by Daniel Fowle Portsmouth, N.H., Permit No. 75 2008 PO Box 756, Portsmouth, NH 03802 • [email protected] • www.nhgazette.com Address Service Requested
The Fortnightly Rant Thinking the Unthinkable, Part Two* John McCain’s 2008 presiden- over a fence, will help us sleep. tial campaign got an auspicious Old And In The White House? kick off last year in Portsmouth’s First and most obviously, photogenic Prescott Park, a mere there’s the math. half-mile from this newspaper’s If elected, John McCain would squalid headquarters. The Naval be 72 when he takes the oath of Shipyard across the river gave the office. Ronald Reagan was a rel- candidate, a former Naval aviator, atively youthful 69, but by the a suitably militaristic backdrop. A time he was hauled before the sizeable mob of New Hampshire Tower Commission in 1986 to residents provided a respectable- explain his minions’ shenanigans, looking audience. Protestors and he could hardly remember any- other scruffy undesireables were thing. Considering the responsi- safely penned up out of camera bilities of the office, Reagan’s Al- range. Whole phalanxes of prop- zheimer’s is hardly an excuse that erly-credentialed media worker would work in McCain’s favor. It bees, representing all the most is simply inconceivable that any profitable national news orga- opposing party could let the Re- nizations, were on hand. Half publicans win the next election a dozen satellite trucks were with a candidate as ancient as parked near the pier to pass their McCain. observations on to the rest of the Wait … We almost forgot. The He’s a Republican. They talk all Mrs. Enron Loophole Gramm was said to have been a world. opposing party is composed of the time about morals, so they Gramm’s wife is Wendy Lee likely choice as McCain’s Secre- All that was in marked con- Democrats. We’re screwed. don’t have to live by them. We’re Gramm. A Wellesley-educated tary of the Treasury, but he seems trast to this past Monday night. McCain vs. Women screwed. economist, she headed the Com- to have blown that gig with re- When McCain’s campaign plane The Census Bureau says there Funny Money Man modities Futures Trading Com- cent loose talk about Americans landed in Manchester, “there was are 4,528,605 more women than McCain makes no secret of his mission in the late 1980s and being in a “mental depression,” just one reporter and one pho- men in the U.S. This may not ignorance about economics. In- early 1990s. Like many Repub- and a “nation of whiners.” tographer waiting,” the Union work in McCain’s favor. Some stead, he makes self-deprecating licans, she is allergic to federal These days powerful people Leader’s Scott Brooks reported female voters may be turned off jokes about it, following up with regulation. can rob, cheat, and steal to their the next day. Had it not been for by his treatment of his first wife, the standard reply—that is what Less than a week before Bill heart’s content—but they’d bet- the Republican party’s favorite Carol. She faithfully waited for economic advisors are for. Until Clinton was sworn in as presi- ter watch what they say. After paper, their presumptive nom- her husband during his five years quite recently, McCain’s top eco- dent, and probably expecting to Gramm’s incautious remarks, inee’s arrival here would have of captivity in Vietnam. While nomic advisor was former Sena- be replaced soon, Mrs. Gramm McCain promptly threw him gone unheralded. he was gone she suffered perma- tor Phil Gramm (R-TX). used her position to exempt En- under the wheels of the Straight Such a forlorn reception would nent injuries in a car accident. Gramm was the driving force ron from federal regulation in Talk Express. seem an encouraging omen for Six years after his return, while behind the modestly-named trading of energy derivatives. Although McCain has “dis- those Americans who fear that still married to Carol, McCain Gramm-Leach-Bliley Finan- Five weeks later, in a startling tanced himself ” from Gramm, another Republican term in the began an adulterous affair with cial Services Modernization Act. coincidence, Enron made her a he has given no sign he’ll repu- White House would drive our his current wife Cindy, a former It repealed the Depression-era member of the board. She served diate the man’s desperado eco- ship of state onto the rocks for cheerleader and the daughter of a Glass-Steagall Act barring bank on the audit committee—mean- nomics. good. The next president seems wealthy Phoenix beer baron. He holding companies from own- ing she had access to all the sor- Non-Citizen McCain bound to appoint at least one, was 43, she was 25. That already ing other banks. That maneuver did details of the company’s Can no one spare us from this and quite possibly two Supreme looked bad enough. On July 11, opened the door to the complex crooked schemes. irascible old coot? America’s last Court justices. Even the law- the Los Angeles Times added this financial chicanery that resulted In a startling development, best hope may be Gabriel J. Chin, abiding ought to find the pros- new wrinkle: court documents in today’s sub-prime mortgage the University of California sued a professor of constitutional law pect of that power in Republican show that McCain’s “divorce was crisis. Gramm and her cohorts. The at the University of Arizona. hands unnerving. granted April 2, 1980 … [but he] Mr. Enron Loophole University received $168 million. McCain was born in the Pan- Between the Obamamania obtained an Arizona marriage li- Gramm is also personally re- Of that, only $13 million came ama Canal Zone in 1936, bring- phenomenon on one hand, and cense on March 6, 1980, while sponsible for the blandly-named from Enron’s directors. Insur- ing up the question of his eligi- the burden of McCain’s political still legally married to his first Commodity Futures Modern- ance companies coughed up the bility for office. The Constitution baggage on the other, it seems wife.” ization Act of 2000. He slyly at- rest. says that “[n]o person except a improbable, if not impossible, The New York Times reported tached this curious bit of legisla- Still Going—For Your Wallet natural born Citizen … shall be that any such shipwreck could in February that during his 2000 tion—which had somehow been One might think that af- eligible to the Office of Presi- be in our future. Judging from campaign, McCain’s friendship exempted from the usual com- ter such illustrious careers, the dent.” Ted Olson and Lawrence state by state polling, on Tuesday with an attractive female lobbyist mittee hearings—to a vast ap- Gramms would be retired, living Tribe, the Hannity & Colmes of Obama was leading McCain by half his age so alarmed his own propriations bill right before it comfortably in a suite of federal jurisprudence, jointly declared 312 electoral votes to McCain’s advisors that they intervened to was voted on. It passed, and Bill prison cells—but then one would in March that McCain met that 199. keep the two separate. In May Clinton signed it into law six be hopelessly naive. standard. Earlier this month, But the election was not held a book was published relating a days later. Phil Gramm is now a Vice however, Prof. Chin published Tuesday. And despite repeated 1992 incident in which McCain, The Act legalized speculation Chairman at the Swiss bank a more rigorous examination of pronouncements that McCain’s in front of reporters, called his in energy futures markets. It has UBS AG, the second-largest the statutes, and concluded that campaign is dead, the candidate wife a “trollop,” then used an- since become better known by bank in Europe. Last month the he did not. He cited a Supreme has yet to lie down. other term so vile the editors of the nickname, the “Enron Loop- New York Times reported that Court decision which held that How is McCain unelectable? the Oxford English Dictionary hole.” Within months of its pas- UBS was being investigated by unincorporated territories like Let us count the ways. Perhaps wouldn’t print it. Just this past sage the now-defunct corpora- the FBI. The Feds suspect them the Zone were not part of the the answers, like sheep leaping week a news story published in tion which gave it that name was of helping 20,000 U.S. citizens U.S. “for constitutional purpos- the Tucson Citizen in 1986 re- using its provisions to squeeze hide their wealth to avoid pay- es.” A 1937 law granted citizen- * Yes, we have used this headline before. surfaced, describing McCain $40 billion from consumers in ing taxes. A report by the Senate ship in cases like McCain’s, but On November 30, 2007, it ran over a rant surveying the field of Republican primary telling a joke involving a wom- the state of California. Homeland Security and Gov- did so eleven months too late. If candidates. (What a quaint and innocent an, an ape, and rape. No, it’s no This may seem like a mas- ernmental Affairs Committee the Democrats find the spine to time that was … Fred Thompson! Rudy use—women just won’t vote for sive accomplishment for one recently estimated the total an- push it, the question could end Giuliani! Ron Paul!) Now that the GOP has settled for the formerly-loathed McCain, McCain. man. But Gramm stood on the nual cost to U.S. taxpayers at a up before the Supreme Court. we see no reason not to recycle it. Uh, oh … We almost forgot. shounders of a giant: his wife. nice, round $100 billion. Yup. We’re screwed. Page 2 - The New Hampshire Gazette - July 25, 2008
News Briefs Sheldon Knows Best? Voters in New Hampshire’s First In an earlier round of robo-calls Congressional District gave Jeb back in May, “Freedom’s Watch” Bradley his walking papers in tried to sell us on the idea that 2006 and sent Carol Shea-Por- Rep. Shea-Porter wasn’t support- ter to the House in his stead. ing the troops. “Congress put its Her campaign plenty of raw ma- vacation ahead of the needs of terial to work with: disgust with our soldiers,” the computers said the U.S. occupation of Iraq, the again and again. overall ineptitude of the Bush There’s a technical term for administration, &c., &c. Her statements like that—they’re promise to work hard for “the called “lies.” bottom 99 percent” did the rest. Republicans did as much as In her freshman term, she’s prob- Democrats to hold up the war ably done as much as any single funding bill. The difference was member of Congress could to that the Democrats were hold- honor that promise. ing out for a much-needed, im- But now, as the 2008 election proved GI Bill that the Republi- approaches, out of the goodness cans opposed. of their hearts and the depths of Now, according to “Freedom’s their pockets, the saintly strang- Watch,” Rep. Shea-Porter is to National Wildlife Refuge.* ocrat. He owned his first busi- being a radio talk show host. On ers who call themselves “Free- blame for high gas prices. As be- We go on at such length over ness, selling newspapers, at the public property. That would be— dom’s Watch” are informing the fore, the charge is absurd. Ms. these well-heeled lies because we age of 12. He made and lost two the public airwaves. Owned by First District’s voters, through Shea-Porter strayed into “Free- find their source so fascinating. fortunes by middle age, when he the American people. For which computer-generated “robo-calls,” dom’s Watch’s” sites this time be- “Freedom’s Watch” is registered hit his stride, and his politics be- Rush—and his affiliated compa- that they made a great big mis- cause she voted against drilling with the IRS as a nonprofit or- gan skewing rightward. He orga- nies—pay no rent. take. for oil offshore and in the Arctic ganization under the 501(c)(4) nized the computer trade show Rush Limbaugh is on welfare. category, meaning they can col- COMDEX, and parlayed that Corporate welfare. The public lect and spend vast sums, with- into the Sands Expo and Con- airwaves belong to the American out paying taxes. How Republi- vention Center. It makes huge people. The Federal Communi- can. This one has the usual trap- money. The unions do not care cations Commission is supposed pings: red, white & blue, Eagles, for him. His success in Las Vegas to be our trustee. The people are &c., &c. ad nauseam. gave Adelson an entree into Ma- the landlords. The radio and TV And whence cometh all the cao, long a mecca for enthusiastic stations and the corporate giants loot they throw around? Appar- Chinese gamblers. His profits in who own them are the tenants. ently the vast bulk of it comes Macao have made him the third Rush’s show is syndicated on from one contributor: Sheldon richest man in America. over 650 radio stations. Rush has Adelson. So that’s who’s telling us we enormous leverage over these Adelson is actually quite a char- shouldn’t re-elect Carol Shea- stations. They pay no rent. And acter. He was born in Dorchester Porter—a guy who makes deals therefore, he pays no rent. in 1933, the son of a poor im- with Communist governments, Here’s the problem: Since the migrant cab driver, and a Dem- for the right to win money from Radio Act was passed in 1927, Chinese gamblers, which he then the corporate tenants have been * As the last dark days of the Bush spends, tax free, on comput- more organized and more pow- administration gurgle down the fetid drain of history, the oil companies and their GOP ers that call us up on the phone erful than the tens of millions pals are trying desperately to unlock every and lie to us. Thank God for free of listeners and viewers. The re- It’s not very often that you see a five-foot long cigarette, lit and smoldering, conceivable bit of U.S. territory for drilling, speech. sult? Rush Limbaugh and his using high gas prices as a pick. They’d put an in an ashtray the size of a wading pool, on top of a van driving through oil rig on Teddy Roosevelt’s head at Mount Ya Junkie Welfare Queen … corporation get to use the pub- the middle of town. Not even in Portsmouth. The pink skunk holding her Rushmore if they could. They’re claiming From VoteNader.org: lic’s valuable property for free. the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge is nose only adds to the improbability. Thanks to the magic of the URL (sa- our potential salvation, but it would only According to press reports, No payment of rent. Zero. Nada. manthaskunk.com) we learn that Samantha the Magenta Skunk, a “non- lower gas prices by about a nickel, some Rush Limbaugh will be mak- Nothing. smoking campaign produced by professor William Scott, designed for El- fifteen years from now. Regulating the ing $38 million a year. For eight This freeloading on the backs commodities market might cut the price of ementary school children,” is the creation of UNH professor of Business gas in half, almost immediately—but that’s years. of the American people is called William Scott. against the Republicans’ religion. Rush is making this money by corporate welfare. Rush Lim- Eliot Auto Used Cars - Reasonable Market Square Jewelers Service & Towing, too Peter T. Henry & Joan K. Henry Rt 236 Eliot, Me (207) 439-0263 12 Market Square, Portsmouth, NH 03801 163 Islington St ~ 436-7330 (603) 430-9587 Estate Jewelers Buy • Sell • Trade Loose Gems • Antique Restoration • Repairs Gold • Silver • Costume • Bead Restringing
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South Street and Vine 359 Marcy St • 430-2984 Hours: Tues., Wed., urs. & Sun.: 11 am - 6 pm 11:30 - 3:00 Fri., and Sat. - 9 am - 6 pm 8 Clifford Street Exeter, NH 778-6850 store 778-2670 café Mon. - Closed 4:00 - Close www.bluemoonmarket.net www.bluemoon-yoga.net Late Night Menu Tues-Sat Wine for the table, not for the cellar. Friday, July 25, 2008 - The New Hampshire Gazette - Page 3 baugh is the Kingboy of corpo- Today, I mailed a letter to Rush ratist radio. And it’s past time he asking him to get off welfare. The set a corporatist example for his letter is posted at votenader.org. peers and paid rent to the Amer- Take a look. And then let Rush ican people for using their prop- know what you think. You can erty. It’s past time Rush Lim- e-mail Rush at: ElRushbo@eib- baugh takes himself off the cor- net.com. Tell him—hey Rush, I porate welfare rolls. agree with Ralph Nader. Get off Rush need not wait for the welfare. Start paying rent. FCC and Congress to do the — Ralph Nader right thing and order him to pay. [Thanks go to Sam Smith’s Un- He can lead by example. And pay derNews, www.ProRev.com, voluntary rent—for the hours where we first saw this.—The Ed] and hours every month Rush oc- Rare Opportunity: cupies on the hundreds of sta- Hear The Truth tions that carry his show every About Iran & Nukes weekday. Former UN weapons inspector And by the way, this fits well Scott Ritter will talk about why within Rush’s so-called conser- Iran is in America’s crosshairs, on vative philosophy. Payment of August 3, at the South Church, rent for the use of public air- 292 State Street in Portsmouth, waves owned by the American beginning at 7:00 p.m. people is the conservative posi- Ritter has visited Iran on a tion. Real conservatives oppose corporate welfare. Note the Cato Institute’s position … So, Rush, today I ask you— fact-finding mission, and said important thing to know about lyzed Iraq’s missile capacity for which side are you on? Freeload- “We are seeing history repeat it- Scott Ritter is that he was right.” General Schwarzkopf in the ing? Or paying rent for the pub- self.” Before the U.S. invasion of Also appearing will be musi- 1991 Gulf War. For more infor- lic property you have been using Iraq, Ritter famously—and accu- cians Lizzie West & Baba Buf- mation, see www.scottritter.us. free for so many years? rately—argued that Iraq no lon- falo, whose song “19 Miles to Chickenhawks! ger had weapons of mass destruc- Baghdad” is played frequently on Roy Zimmerman, the singer/ tion. He recommends diplomatic Democracy Now! A unique blend songwriter whose CD Faulty In- engagement with Iran, and sup- of blues, roots, stride and sto- telligence includes the utterly hi- ports local and national efforts to rytelling defines their traveling larious single, Chickenhawk, will pass resolutions urging President peace revival. appear Tues., July 29, at 7:00 Bush to refrain from ordering Admission is $15 in advance, p.m., at the historic Masonic any military attack against Iran $20 at the door. A book sign- Hall, Route 4 in Northwood, at without explicit Congressional ing will immediately follow the the junctions of Routes 9, 43, and authorization. event. This event is co-sponsored 202. Free parking is available. In an interview with Amy by U.S. Tour of Duty, Cuzin Trust us: this is an act which is The Gazette’s alleged Legal De- Goodman, of Democracy Now!, Richard Entertainment, WSCA, not to be missed. partment has formally request- broadcast on April 28, Ritter Holy Road Tours Union, and the ed that the Editorial Department stated: “There is no doubt in my Portsmouth Brewery. For more stipulate to readers and all the rel- mind that the United States is information and advance tickets evant authorities that the Graphic planning right now, as we speak, visit www.realintelligence.org or The Flag Police are baffled. The west Arts Department’s publication of a military strike against Iran.” He call (800) 838-3006. end of town is home to a supermar- this photograph is not intended as, warns that such an attack is un- Ritter, author of Target Iran, ket which has been undergoing ex- nor should it be taken to be, either necessary, and if launched, could Waging Peace and Iraq Confi- tensive renovation for months, no an endorsement of, nor an entice- provoke a massive response with dential, was one of UNSCOM’s doubt at great expense. They must ment to, the sort of sordid behavior catastrophic consequences to most senior weapons inspectors be making their lease payments. which we suspect may have taken millions of people, including in Iraq between 1991 and 1998, Yet the commercial development place some time during the night Americans. after serving for eight years as in which they are located is flying of July 16, prior to our Wandering Ritter’s credibility is difficult to an intelligence officer in the U.S. a flag that is beginning to look like Photographer’s stumbling across the dismiss. As Pulitzer Prise-win- Marines. As a Marine, he con- a distress signal. What gives, they situation depicted above the follow- ning investigative reporter Sey- ducted arms inspections in the wonder. ing morning. mour Hersh puts it: “The most former Soviet Union, and ana- Page 4 - The New Hampshire Gazette - July 25, 2008
Moving Pictures The Dark Knight by Rodman Philbrick Answer: No, they have not. psycho version of Saturday Night turn prey upon others. Dark being mains Batman, because that’s the They have come, in their mil- Live’s Stuart Smalley, and the bi- the operative term here—there’s way it is with super heroes. They Stars: Christian Bale, Heath lions, to see Heath Ledger acting zarre thing is, it works perfectly. no telling who among Batman’s get to save the city but they never Ledger, Maggie Gyllenhaal, from the grave in his last com- He nails it. extended family will perish, who quite get the girl. In this case the Aaron Eckhart, Michael Caine, pleted performance as the dark, To be fair, Ledger gets a lot of will survive. So consider yourself female lead seems to have fallen Gary Oldman, Morgan Free- demented Joker. And the poor help from the screenplay by the warned—this ain’t no day at the for the new prosecutor, a heroic man; Screenplay: Jonathan No- lad does act up a storm, eclipsing Nolan brothers, who brought you beach, and anything can happen. reformer played by Aaron Eck- lan, Christopher Nolan; Direc- all previous Jokers, from campy Memento and The Prestige, and by Much of the original cast re- hart, who, you will not be sur- tor: Christopher Nolan; Rating: Caesar Romero to dapper Jack Christopher Nolan’s sure-hand- turns from Batman Begins, in- prised to hear, has his own dark [PG-13]; Place: The lobby of Nicholson. Smeared with cakey ed direction. The story hews fair- cluding Gary Oldman as the cop side. our local cineplex; Time: Eve- white make-up, his rubbery face ly close to the graphic novel ver- who summons Batman, Michael Unlike, say, the Tim Burton ning; Weather: Dark & Stormy; distorted by the scars of his face- sion of the tale, with the Gotham Caine as the sardonic butler, and interpretations of the Batman People: Fat & Sweaty wide death-grin, Ledger steals crime bosses putting out a con- Morgan Freeman as God. No legend, there’s nothing campy the entire show, leaving Batman tract on Batman, and the deep- wait, Freeman isn’t actually play- or even particularly gothic about nd yes, the description ap- trying to unfurl his wings. Clips ly sadistic killer who calls him- ing God this time, he just has an The Dark Knight. Just a well-told plies to your reviewer, bloat- from Ledger’s performance have self the Joker taking up the chal- omniscient air as the man who tale with pulse-pounding action, Aed with Junior Mints, and num- been circulating on the net for lenge. And that’s where it gets supplies Bruce Wayne with the intense violence (not for young ber roughly 200 in a line impa- months, and the buzz resulted in engagingly complicated. technical goodies that help him kids, certainly) vivid characters, tiently waiting to enter Theatre 3, couples sitting on the steps of the Being The Joker, it isn’t enough be a caped crusader. Including, and a sense that we’re all trapped capacity 215. The lobby, crowded filled-beyond-capacity theatre merely to kill Batman. First he in this case, a Cheney-like abil- in our own personal Gotham, with the desperate, the panicked, for nearly three hours, cheering, must be tenderized, then tor- ity to see and hear everything hoping to be rescued, but in our the obviously deranged, looks like hooting, and laughing as the 28 mented, and finally ruined, both that takes place in Gotham—but hearts knowing that when the the Ferry Dock scene in War of year-old actor did his hypnoti- emotionally and physically. He only, you must understand, for last ferry finally bumps up to the The Worlds, with people clutching cally creepy thing. must have all faith in the human purposes of apprehending un- dock, it won’t be taking us where their tickets, begging for a place So what’s Ledger like as The race destroyed by the Joker’s de- hinged terrorists like the Joker. we want to go, and that old trick- on board the biggest box office Joker? Where do the voice, ac- praved machinations. What the Maggie Gyllenhaal, she of the ster Charon will be asking for a winner of the summer, thus far. cent, and creepy mannerisms villain cunningly refers to as “so- beautiful sad eyes, replaces Katie coin. Question: Have they come to originate? Oddly enough, and cial experiments,” in which his Holmes as Batman’s love inter- Nine bucks. That’s what you see The Batman, as interpreted you heard it here first, he seems victims are made to delve into est—a love that can’t be named, pay the ferryman these days, and by Christian Bale? to be channeling Al Franken as a their darkest inclinations, and in or acted upon, so long as he re- no, that doesn’t include popcorn.
More Hate Mail, &c. from page seven The updated version of the GI “support the troops” and I am has been around since the 1960’s Shea-Porter Urges Bill, championed by Senator Jim proud that my Representative and Carol has been an advocate Oil Companies To Drill that consistently across a wide Webb, Democrat of Virginia, in Congress, Carol Shea-Por- for the 700 programs nationally. On Leased Land range of issues. provides post-9/11 veterans with ter, co-sponsored it. Because she She has also advocated for access To the Editor: The most recent example is her comprehensive educational ben- has kept her promise to represent to student loans, and supported New Hampshire residents are support for the new GI Bill, the efits. Veterans organizations sup- “the rest of us,” she deserves to be lowering the interest rate on stu- worrying about the impact of Post-9/11 Veterans Educational ported it enthusiastically. re-elected on November 4. dent loans. Recently she also an- $4 a gallon gasoline and rising Assistance Act. This bill updates The Bush Administration and Larry Drake nounced a grant to UNH Gradu- heating oil costs on their already the famous GI Bill of Rights of Senator John McCain opposed Portsmouth, NH ate program for low income first tight household budgets. This 1944, which gave government this legislation, saying that it was 4 generation graduate students. impending emergency cries out assistance to millions of World too generous and would hurt Support the Students! She gets lots of credit for her for a serious and practical solu- War II veterans to pursue a col- troop retention. Nevertheless, To the Editor: work to help the middle class, tion that will bring relief to the lege education. My own father, both houses of Congress passed Rep. Carol Shea-Porter has as an advocate for veterans, and beleaguered middle class. for example, got an MBA at the it overwhelming, 416-12 in the once again been recognized for for her work in supporting the Congresswoman Carol Shea- University of Michigan in 1948 House of Representatives and her work to make education in Portsmouth Naval Shipyard. As Porter is working on such a so- that way. That GI Bill provided a 92-6 in the Senate. Faced with this country and state better. a former school teacher, I am es- lution. She is co-sponsoring strong foundation for the growth veto-proof majorities, President She was recognized this week pecially proud to point out her legislation that would force oil and prosperity of the American Bush signed it into law on June by UNH for her support of Up- work for us on education also. companies to drill for oil on the middle class in the postwar pe- 30. ward Bound. This terrific support Jane Hoffman land they already lease from the riod. The new GI Bill truly does system for high school students Rye, NH federal government or pay fees
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Northcountry Chronicle Slippery Politics by William Marvel Conspicuously absent from principal ingredients in the sky- have nearly tripled the cost of doomsayers were predicting. We the website is any reference to rocketing price is availability, and grain-based foods, and the con- have also accelerated the pro- round the first of July my the names of alliance officers or in the United States that avail- gressional mandate for its use duction of greenhouse gases that mailbox disgorged an of- trustees, but it seems a fair bet ability is especially compromised has only exacerbated our energy will eventually provoke more Aficial-looking brochure asking that state Republican party of- by excessive consumption. Ef- dependence: now that most gas global unrest than oil itself al- if I knew that “Jeanne Shaheen ficials have their slimy hands forts to curb that consumption stations are already selling us ready has. And whom can we supported a recent proposal in in it. After all, Jeanne Shaheen have been stymied for decades ethanol-contaminated gasoline, thank for these related disasters? Congress that would raise en- is running for the U.S. Senate by auto- and oil-industry lobby- we can watch our gas mileage You might put venal, corporate- ergy taxes by billions of dollars.” against little John Sununu, son ists and their congressional shills, drop by anywhere from 16 per- friendly politicians like John E. Since Jeanne Shaheen isn’t even of George Bush’s more portly among whom John E. Sununu cent to more than 21 percent. As Sununu near the top of the list. in Congress, my suspicions were manager of the same name, and has always been prominent. soon as I hit ethanol-laced gaso- Perhaps I shouldn’t be too hard immediately aroused that this Sununu Junior seems a poor bet For instance, fuel-efficiency line in Kansas a few weeks ago, on John. He is, I must admit, a was just another Republican at- to win any election in which his standards that apply to most cars my mileage dropped from 33.6 very mild-mannered fellow as he tack ad disguised as the fruit of supporters do not engage in some and trucks would have prohibit- miles per gallon to 26.4. Don’t goes about his destructive politi- some bipartisan coalition, and so sort of skulduggery. Last time it ed the proliferation of sport util- expect the per-gallon price to cal career. If illegal and under- it appears o be. was phone jamming: Sununu’s ity vehicles, which became the drop, however. handed tactics typify his cam- The flyer came from a group handlers blocked Democratic foremost symbol of wasted fuel So, thanks to things like eth- paigns, it probably isn’t because calling itself the “New Hamp- phone lines in order to stop their and the carbon emissions that anol and SUVs, now we’re us- he lusts after the low road. It’s just shire Advantage Coalition.” This get-out-the-vote drive, and that produced global warming. As a ing oil so fast that it has begun that without vigorous background association’s website claims no guerrilla tactic contributed to congressman, however, Sununu to disappear even faster than the cheating and lying, he can’t win. connection to the Republican Sununu’s paper-thin victory over agreed to exempt SUVs from Party, or any party, but its pro- this same Jeanne Shaheen. At those standards. His lame argu- Caught Red-Handed fessed aims and principles are least one Republican Party of- ment to the public at the time On Wednesday, July 23, the Gazette received a press release from Republican to the core, and by ficial went to prison over it, but was that “people have a right to Zandra Rice Hawkins, of GraniteStateProgress.org, saying, in part, Republican I mean New Hamp- Sununu was allowed to keep his keep their families safe,” but his “Granite State Progress Calls for Public Apology, Removal of Tam- shire Republican, or ultra-con- ill-gotten seat in the Senate. real motive was obviously fla- my Simmons from The NH Advantage Coalition … Executive Di- servative. One page offers email Now it’s déjà vu all over vored by the financial support rector posted insults under a fake name; Blue Hampshire traced IP addresses for writing letters to again, with incognito Repub- such lopsided logic elicits from address and email to identify Tammy Simmons … [BlueHampshire. the editor, and papers with more licans spreading lies and innu- his corporate owners. com] the state’s leading progressive blog, released information today conservative editorial viewpoints endo about Shaheen in order to We might also ask John and that exposes Tammy Simmons, the NH Advantage Coalition’s Ex- dominate that list. A link is sup- secure another six-year term for his successor in the House of ecutive Director, for purposely hiding her identity and making false plied to the House Republican their proven mouthpiece, but you Representatives, Jeb Bradley, statements on the blog in order to support the tax cap and pledge … Alliance, which provides a weird would think anyone support- about congressional support for Simmons is also Treasurer of the Manchester Republican Committee blend of sex appeal and real es- ing Sununu would never men- the ethanol industry. The subsi- and a Republican candidate for the State House, according to Blue tate offerings. tion the cost of oil. One of the dies for that inefficient additive Hampshire.”
based on the period of time the funds would also be directed to for “the rest of us.” Let’s work to $$ EARN EXTRA MONEY $$ leases go unused. The oil com- the Low Income Home Energy send her back to Congress so she DELIVER THE NEW FAIRPOINT® TELEPHONE DIRECTORIES panies, which are reaping record Assistance Program (LIHEAP). can keep doing just that. profits, currently lease 68 million More than 30,000 New Hamp- Joan Jacobs Men & Women 18 years and older with insured vehicles are needed acres where they produce noth- shire families depend on LI- Portsmouth, NH to deliver in Portsmouth, Exeter, York and surrounding areas. We ing. Under the bill, H.R. 6251 HEAP to help with their home Joan: are also looking for office clerks & loaders. Delivery starts about (the Responsible Federal Oil heating needs. Congresswom- Strange, isn’t it, to see someone July 31st. Work a minimum of 4 daylight hours per day and get paid and Gas Lease Act), fees would an Shea-Porter is working to go to Congress and do what they within 48 hours upon successful completion of route. rise each year a company holds a strengthen LIHEAP on other said they’d do. But you know what Call 1-800-979-7978 between the hours of lease but does not use it to find fronts as well—for example, by they say: “No good deed goes unpun- 9:00 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. Mon-Fri. new sources of energy. Revenue mandating increased funding in ished.” raised from the fees would be in- future economic stimulus pack- Be on the lookout for a new series Refer to Job# 3624-B. EOE vested in renewable energy and ages. of attack ads: “Shea-Porter Unfair energy efficiency. Carol Shea-Porter is keeping to Billionaires!” Distribution of FairPoint® directories is conducted In addition, a portion of the her campaign promise to work The Editor on behalf of Idearc Media Corp., the official publisher of FairPoint® print directories.
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First Name: Last Name: Street Address: Town, City, or Burg: State: Zip Code: + 4: Gift Of: (Where Applicable) Page 6 - The New Hampshire Gazette - July 25, 2008
Dear Anonymous Critic: to assault him. Mash Notes Hate Mail The oath of enlistment the editor If, in fact, that was you, feel free , , took in 1966, to “support and de- to call again and make an appoint- fend the Constitution of the United ment. gresswoman Shea-Porter, Balsam Is Collins Deaf? States against all enemies, foreign The Editor arrived in the United States sev- To the Editor: and domestic,” expired when he re- 4 eral months ago. He is current- Recently the Rockland, Maine, ceived an Honorable Discharge in Shea-Porter Comes to Aid ly going through the process of Free Press printed an open letter 1972. As a citizen, though, he’s in- of Translator/Ally joining the United States Army. to Senator Collins and others in clined to uphold it anyway. Hence To the Editor: I would like to offer Congress- Congress, beseeching them to our publication of the piece to which I am writing this letter on be- woman Shea-Porter my sincere not let Bush/Cheney carry out you refer, supporting Vincent Bu- half of Balsam Ahmed Abed. gratitude for assisting Balsam. I their mad plan to attack Iran. gliosi’s proposal to charge George W. Any American who has served would also like to add this. Re- Reading that Letter reminded Bush with murder. in Iraq, or Afghanistan, knows gardless of our differences over me of one I’d written to Collins Hate (Voice) Mail The editor is in the habit of stroll- the importance of having a good the war in Iraq, Senator Gregg in 2005: a woman’s eloquent plea Transcript of a recorded mes- ing around town for a while in the trusted translator. I was an advi- and Senator Sununu still must for help in getting her husband sage left on the Gazette’s tele- evening. On the evenings of July sor to an Iraqi combat battalion, fulfill America’s commitment to out of the hellhole at Guantana- phone, Saturday afternoon, July 12 through 14, after hearing your and Balsam was our most talent- our Iraqi translators. mo where he’d been thrown after 12: threat on the phone machine, he ed and trusted translator. Balsam Joshua David Denton being kidnapped by the CIA in “Yeah, I have a question for made a special point to do so. He’s was unable to ever visit his fam- VoteVets.org New Hampshire Bosnia. you, f___head. I picked up a copy twice the age of the average person ily, in fear of insurgent reprisals State Team Captain Because Collins supported im- of the toilet paper that you wrote now in uniform, but considers it against them, in retribution for Portsmouth, NH prisoning people without charge [?] some article on this [?] local part of the job to take the chance of him aiding the United States. 4 or trial and inflicting war on sandwich shop. My question to getting jumped mid-block by some Translators are just as prone as Like a Box of Chocolates, trumped-up charges, appeal- you folks is why don’t you just f_ knucklehead whose reading of the American soldiers to get maimed, But With Stereo ing to her seems futile. What ____g move to Sweden or Swit- Constitution didn’t get as far as the or killed, by roadside bombs. One To the Editor: might move her to oppose at- zerland? First Amendment. To date, howev- of my translators was injured According to the Gump Prin- tacking Iran is that in campaign- “You ball-less bastards live up er, you have not kicked his ass. when an IED destroyed the ve- ciple, “Life is like a box of choco- ing to keep her job in Congress, here on the corner of the world On the evening of July 14 the hicle he was in, while a translator lates, you never know what you’re she may try to make voters forget where you don’t know what the editor spotted one young man who from one of my adjacent advisor going to get.” These words rang her appalling record of approv- f__k is going on. seemed a likely candidate to be our teams was killed by an IED. especially true when a plane- ing Bush/Cheney schemes. My “I’m in the U.S. military. I got most recent anonymous threatener. In 2006, Congress passed a load of Kuwaiti-bound Soldiers bet is that even if people beg and buddies in Iraq right now. If I Probably in his mid-twenties, he resolution that increased the was diverted to Pease Air Base implore, Collins will ignore their send this article and tell them was wearing a brown T-shirt with annual number of visas issued enroute to Bangor, Maine. The pleas as she did before and vote that George Bush is responsible the word “Texas” on the front, sit- for translators from 50 to 500. Pease greeters gave each of us a to unleash more hounds of war. for 4,000 murders, how do you ting at a table in front of the Café While serving in Iraq, I applied generous supply of Lindt choco- Marjorie Gallace think they’re going to take that? Formerly Known as Brioche, with for Balsam to get such a visa. late and a set of state-of-the-art Camden, ME “You people are just pieces of one copy of our latest issue sitting Having not heard anything from Bose earphones. This was no easy 4 s__t. If I ever run into you on the on the table in front of him as he the State Department towards feat considering that over 300 of Senator Sunu-No street I’ll personally kick your glared at a second copy, open in his the end of my tour, I wrote both us arrived unexpected and only To the Editor: ass.” [Click.] hands. Senators Gregg and Sununu a stayed a couple of hours. Once again Senator John Su- The editor got the feeling that this letter requesting any assistance A sticker on my laptop reads, nunu has voted to protect spe- might be the person who had wished they could provide. Neither Sen- “Acts not words.” While a time- cial interest groups instead of his him ill. But, it was approaching ator responded. ly, well-spoken word will always New Hampshire constituents. 8:30 p.m., and even the editor does For several months, upon re- have its place, the sweet sound This time Senator Sununu has not feel obliged to approach strang- turning to New Hampshire, I of high def music and rich taste voted in favor of the private in- ers on the sidewalk and invite them tried to contact the State De- of chocolate work a magic all of surance industry instead of the partment. Meanwhile, the quota their own. 200,000 of New Hampshire el- of 500 translators had been met, To the Pease greeters. Lindt, derly and disabled Medicare re- Beach Dog and all other visas were halt- Bose and the community that cipients. Where the grass is Gifts, Garden ed. After being escorted off the stands behind our troops, thank Sununu recently cast the de- & Pet Accessories ciding vote against a bill that always greener. premises of the National Visa you. You are a class act and you 6 Main St. Center, I went to the office of generosity and patriotism of would have raised the wages of Natural/organic York Beach Congresswoman Carol Shea- April 2, 2008 will not be forgot- doctors who treat Medicare pa- 207-363-8470 fertilizing programs Porter. Congresswoman Shea- ten. May God bless you all. tients. With the failure of this Chaplain Don Zapsic bill, many doctors acknowledge ALL SEASON LAWN CARE 10% off Porter contacted the embassy in PO Box 645 Jordan on behalf of Balsam. 1/134th FA Regiment that they will not be able to take Cape Neddick, ME 03902 with this ad! Thanks to the efforts of Con- Kuwait Naval Base on new Medicare patients and (207) 361-1500 !CTIVE &RENCH 3CHOOL The New Hampshire Gazette &RENCH #LASSES The Nation’s Oldest Newspaper™ !LL ,EVELS !LL !GES Founder: Daniel Fowle (1715—1787) Published Fortnightly on Alternate Fridays PO Box 756, Portsmouth, NH 03802 www.nhgazette.com • (603) 433-9898 • [email protected] WWWACTIVEFRENCHSCHOOLCOM Subscriptions: $20 per year for 26 issues ($22 via Web) See Page Five for Subscription Form Now Mailed First Class e Press Room Editor: Steven Fowle • Starving Artiste: Michael Dater Business (Such as it Is) Manager: Rose Eppard Columnist: William Marvel • Moving Picture Reviewer: Farmers’ Markets Rodman Philbrick • 100 Proof Department: Rose Eppard, Jane fresh produce, meats & cheeses Porter, and Marcia Jebb • Freelance Instigator & Unindicted flowers, crafts & gourmet food Co-conspirators: Win Rhoades and Jack Cleary • Distributor: Monday 2:30 – 5:30 Durham Tuesday 2:30 – 5:30 Kingston New England Distribution Network • Downtown Distributors: Tuesday, 3:00 – 6:00 Hampton Adam Williams, Megan “Moonbeam” Stelzer, Shawn White, Wednesday 2:30 – 6:00 Dover * ursday 2:30 – 6:00 Exeter Murph • Subscription Fulfillment: Sally Strazdins, Gail home of Beat Night *Saturday 8:00 – 1:00 Portsmouth Drobnyk, Rose Eppard, Jane Hoffman, Joan Jacobs, Steph with Larry Simon & Groove Bacteria * live & local music, too Holdridge • Postal Hauler: Sally Strazdins in-season hotline: (603) 658-0280 third ursday of the month, 7:00 p.m. www.seacoastgrowers.org Friday, July 25, 2008 - The New Hampshire Gazette - Page 7
And Other Correspondence that Washington has only made the problem of immigration The Music Hall worse and believes that through may have to stop treating current the 89 billion barrels of recover- strengthening our borders with Medicare patients altogether. By able oil lying offshore, the feder- tougher security and new tech- JULY 27, 28, 29 @ 7:30 casting this crucial vote, John al Mineral Management Service nological advances we can re- In 1970, Mauro is separated from his parents as they are forced to escape Brazil amidst political turmoil. Left Sununu has put the healthcare says four-fifths is currently open form the immigration process in alone, Mauro’s hopes turn towards his country’s chance of the 200,000 New Hampshire to exploration by private indus- America. to win the World Cup. PG, 104 min, Brazil, 2006 citizens as well as 29,000 New try. Shaheen realizes that we can- Hampshire veterans at risk. The Times continues, “Clearly, not deport all of the 12 million Instead, John Sununu supports the oil companies are not starved illegal immigrants in the Unites an alternative bill that would fa- for resources. Further, they do States but that we should deport JULY 30 @ 7:30 vor private insurance provid- not seem to be doing nearly as those illegal immigrants that In only three months in 1994, one million people were murdered in Rwanda. In the face of these atrocities an ers and protect their profits. For much as they could with the land have committed a crime while in in an oil bubble caused by the ordinary man summons extraordinary courage to save Sununu, protecting private in- to which they’ve already laid the Unites States. Shaheen will speculation of hedge funds, in- over 1,000 refugees by giving shelter in the hotel he surers is a no-brainer given that claim. Separate studies by the also work hard to require ille- vestment banks, &c. manages. Don Cheadle, Nick Nolte. PG13, 121 min, UK, 2004 he has taken up to $650,000 in House Committee on Natural gal immigrants to pay back tax- One cause of the bubble is that campaign contributions from Resources and the Wilderness es along with a fine, undergo a the International Futures Ex- the insurance lobby. We serious- Society show that roughly three- criminal background check, and change in Atlanta, GA is exempt ly need to consider whether New quarters of the 90 million plus move to the back of the line in from U.S. law, permitting traders JULY 31, AUG 1, 2 @ 7:30 to trade in London and Dubai. A billionaire industrialist is captured by terrorists and Hampshire deserves a senator acres of federal land being leased order to earn their citizenship. ordered to build a missile for them. He instead uses his who values his special interest by the oil companies onshore and Shaheen’s opponent Senator Senator Cantwell has filed a resources to build a powered exoskeleton to escape. off are not being used to produce John Sununu has shown through bill (S. 3185) which would make Robert Downey Jr., Gwyneth Paltrow, Terrence Howard ties more so than the elderly and and Jeff Bridges. Directed by Jon Favreau. veterans who rely on Medicare as energy. That is 68 million acres numerous votes that border se- the Atlanta exchange subject to PG13, 126 min, US, 2008 their only source of healthcare. It altogether … ” curity is not an important pri- U.S. law.Portsmouth is time for a senator who stands In response, House Demo- ority. In 2004, Sununu voted This bill has passed in the Portsmouth up for New Hampshire, and that crats have filed “use it or lose against $350 million to increase HouseC 402-19,andll bute C theo Republi.. - Candlle Co.. senator is not John Sununu. it” legislation that forces com- our border security. Sununu had cans“ Ihavet blocked its passagee.” in smells g in her “It e.” Conor O’Brien panies to begin exploring leases the chance again in 2006 to help the Senate (http://cantwell.senood - smells g in her AUG 3, 4,o o5d @ 7:30 Windham, NH they already have before getting secure the border, but he voted ate.gov/). Unique A woman abandoned, a stranger awaiting his chance and a best-selling author who imaginesUnique the thriller of the 4 any more. We’re grateful that our against a bill that would provide If you would likegifts to stop the year. Deceptively layered, thisgifts new film from If a Robot Calls, Congresswoman, Carol Shea- almost $2 million towards bor- speculators and break the oil Oscar-winning director Claude Lelouch (A Man and a Electric Let a Robot Answer Porter, strongly supports these der and Coast Guard personnel, bubble, please contact Sena- Woman), stars DominiqueElectric Pinon (Amelie) . lighting To the Editor: “use it or lose it” bills. fences, and border patrol vehi- tor Sununu (202 224-2841) and R, 103 min, France,lighting 2007 A Republican lobbying group, Lenore Patton cles. Senator Gregg (202 224-3324) the so-called Freedom’s Watch, Hampton Jeanne Shaheen realizes that and ask them62 to Congress vote to St.pass S. Portsmouth, NH 62 Congress St. is currently making robo tele- Lenore: our nation was founded by im- 3185. 603-430-0353 Portsmouth, NH phone calls in New Hampshire. The Republicans fear that after migrants and that immigrant’s George Kurzon AUG 6603-430-0353 @ 7:30 In these calls, the lobbying group November they’ll be unable to give have, and will continue to play Peterborough, NH A young man with magical powers journeys to his uncle to request help in fighting his sorcerer father. claims that Democrats “stand in away the store to their pals in the an important role in labor with- George: Directed by Souleymane Cissé. Won the Jury Prize at the way” of American energy in- oil racket, so they’re doing whatev- in industries such as tourism and We had never heard of that ex- Cannes, Palme D’Or nominee. NR, 105 min, Mali, 1987 dependence. The recorded mes- er they can now to remove all ob- agriculture in New Hampshire. emption—fascinating. Good luck sage urges support of H.R. 3089, stacles. They won’t be satisfied un- Shaheen will work hard as a on getting Gregg and Sunu-No to a GOP bill that allows drilling til they have permission to drill in U.S. Senator to enforce and im- do theP rightort thing,smo though.uth Portsmouth in the Arctic National Wildlife Yellowstone, the summit of Mount prove the immigration process in TheC aEditorndle Co. CAUGan 7,d 8, ll9e @ 7:30Co.. Candle4 Co. Refuge and requires the Presi- Washington, Market Square, and America with the continued goal This sweeping“I epic follows Temudgin from his ”perilous “It .” t sm ere. dent to designate 10 sites on fed- your back yard. of keeping America, and its citi- Rep.sme lCarol Shea-Porterhere childhood to his eascensionlls go asod thei nlegendaryh Genghis ls good in Khan. Starring Tadanobu Asano, considered Japan's eral land for construction of pri- The Editor zens, safe and secure. Supports New GI Bill Johnny Depp. From director Sergei Bodrov (Prisoner of vately-owned oil and natural gas 4 Kelsey Burke To the Editor:Unique the Mountain). R, 120 min,Unique Germany, 2007 refineries. Shaheen on Immigration Kingston, NH When she was electedgifts to Con- gifts 28 Chestnut Street, Portsmouth gress in 2006, Carol Shea-Porter themusichall.org An editorial in the New York To the Editor: 4 Electric Film Hotline:Electric 603.436.9900 Times puts the situation in prop- U.S. Senate candidate Jeanne How To Break The Oil Bubble, promised to “worklighting for the rest lighting er perspective. Of the 36 billion Shaheen believes it is time for Save The Economy of us, the bottom 99%.” As our barrels of oil believed to lie on America and the politicians in And Stop Iran Congresswoman, she has done Green House 62 Congress St. Eco-Friendly 62Painting Congress Services St. federal land, almost two-thirds Washington to take a strong To the Editor: Portsmouth, NH Portsmouth, NH Dru Chichester are presently accessible to private stance on the immigration pro- We are all experiencing high 603-430-0353 603-430-0353 More Hate Mail, &c. (603) 438-5837 interests or soon will be. And of cess in America. Shaheen feels oil and gas prices because we are to page four DRUCHICHESTER@ YAHOO.COM 427-2919 View Polar Bears in Churchill Portsmouth Portsmouth “We’re worth the trip.” www.OnlyTheBestTravel.com Candlle Co.. Candlle Co.. “ “It .” It s re.” sme here mells good in he lls good in
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.!452!, '!4(%2).'3 withered pod the last of the shell peas— summer hail
Madeleine Findlay '!2$%.3 7%$$).'3 72%!4(3 3!2!( 0%,,%2). haikumuse.com Page 8 - The New Hampshire Gazette - July 25, 2008 Admiral Fowle’s Piscataqua River Tidal Guide (Not for Navigational Purposes)
Portsmouth is bounded on the north caused by the moon. The other major tanker trucks.) and on towards Great Bay. This spec- to rejoin the ocean. This is when the buoy, at the upstream end of Badger’s work their hardest. Ships coming in and east by the Piscataqua River. De- player is a vast sunken valley, about ten The moon’s meddling creates a rov- tacle can best be seen when the chart Piscataqua earns its title for xth fastest Island, bobbing around in the current. heavily laden with coal, oil, and salt pending on which tour boat captain miles upriver. Twice a day, the moon ing hydraulic conflict as incoming sea below shows the tide rising. A good current. A good place to observe this That buoy weighs several tons, is nine generally do so at high tide, for max- you believe, it’s the second, the third, drags roughly seventeen billion gal- and outgoing river collide. The skir- place to watch is the little deck near is from Bow Street, up by St. John’s feet wide, and it bobs and bounces in imum clearance under their keels. or the fourth fastest-flowing navigable lons of salt water from the ocean, up mish line moves from the mouth of the sterns of the tugboats, off Ceres church. Look up the river, from one the current like a cork! The river also When they leave empty, riding high in river in the country. the river, into Great Bay. (If the moon the river, past New Castle, around the Street. Twice a day, too, the moon lets of the little parking lots between the has its placid moments, around high the water, they tend to go at low tide, The Piscataqua’s remarkable current ever stopped moving that water for us, bend by the old Naval Prison, under all that water go. All the salt water that buildings. (Don’t try to drive or park and low tides. Often when the river for maximum clearance under Memo- is caused by the tide which, in turn is it could be replaced with 2,125,000 Memorial Bridge, past the tugboats, just fought its way upstream goes back there, that won’t work.) You’ll see a red rests, its tugboats and drawbridges rial Bridge.
Sunday, July 27 Monday, July 28 Tuesday, July 29 Wednesday, July 30 Thursday, July 31 Friday, August 1 Saturday, August 2
1976—Chester Plummer, a 2006—The steeple of the North 1986—Former Chaplain Char- 2003—To date, 50 U.S. troops 1999—Eugene Schoemaker be- 1983—After a fourteen-year 2000—Republicans nominate cabbie, climbs over the White Church in Portsmouth topples lie Liteky, disgusted by U.S. poli- have been killed in Iraq since the comes the first person whose suspension, the U.S. resumes the George W. Bush to be presi- House fence armed with a three onto Pleasant Street. cies in Latin America, renounces end of major combat operations. cremated remains are interred on manufacture of chemical weap- dent, and Dick Cheney to run foot pipe. For refusing to back 2003—The country’s two largest the Medal of Honor he won in 1975—Jimmy Hoffa is last seen the moon. ons. the country. off, he is shot dead. banks are fined $300 million for Vietnam. in Birmingham, Mich. 1996—Ex-Presidents Gerald 1981—MTV is launched; what’s 1990—Iraq invades Kuwait. 1974—The House Judiciary helping Enron fleece investors. 1981—Congress passes Ronald 1974—The House Judiciary Ford and George H. [H.] Walk- left of civilization begins crum- 1965—CBS reporter Mor- Committee votes to impeach 1965—Lyndon Johnson doubles Reagan’s tax cut for the rich. Committee adopts a 3rd article er Bush speak for pay before an bling. ley Safer suggests that the U.S. Richard M. Nixon for hindering the draft quota. 1974—The House Judiciary of impeachment of Richard M. audiences of Moonies. 1976—First occupation of the might not win in Vietnam. investigation of Watergate. 1958—Billboard magazine re- Committee adopts a second arti- Nixon, for ignoring subpoenas. 1974—Dick Nixon’s ex-advisor Seabrook nuclear power plant 1964—The U.S.S. Maddox, col- 1964—South Vietnam gets an- ports on an Esso Research Cen- cle to impeach Richard M. Nix- 1972—Fifty-three caribou are John Erlichman gets five years in site. lecting intelligence in support of other 5,000 American “military ter “study” claiming rock and roll on, this time for misuse of power found dead near an Army chem- a felons’ country club. 1972—TheWashington Post pub- covert operations in North Viet- advisors.” Total U.S. forces in on the car radio causes foot jig- and violating his oath of office. ical and biological warfare lab. 1972—The public is shocked as lishes its first article about a two- nam, reports an “unprovoked” at- Vietnam now number 21,000. gling, thereby wasting fuel. 1972—The Supreme Court de- The base commander suggests Thomas Eagleton withdraws as a bit burglary at Democratic Na- tack by North Vietnamese torpe- 1963—Dick “Dick” Cheney is 1957—An Air Force C-24 haul- clares the death penalty uncon- they were hit by lighting. candidate for Vice President. tional HQ. do boats in the Gulf of Tonkin. arrested for drunk driving. ing three nukes northwards off stitutional. 1969—“I think that history will 1971—In exchange for a 1972—1st Lieut. George W. 1943—The nimble American 1957—Alabama farmhand Jim- the U.S. East Coast dumps two 1967—TheU.S.S. Forrestal burns record that this may have been $100,000 “contribution” towards Bush is suspended from flying PT boat #109 is rammed and my Wilson is sentenced to death in the ocean after losing power. off North Vietnam, killing 134. one of America’s finest hours,” the Republican convention, the status with the Texas Air Nat’l sunk by a comparatively ponder- for stealing $1.95 from a white 1945—A B-25 bomber crashes 1966—Bob Dylan crashes his says Richard Nixon in Saigon. “Justice” Department’s Anti- Guard for failure to take a physi- ous Japanese destroyer. woman. Wilson is black. into the Empire State Building. Triumph, breaking his neck. He’s off by 5 years (see 1974). trust Division changes its mind cal exam (which would have re- 1939—A. Einstein writes to 1954—Duly-elected Guatema- One engine goes right through 1965—The 101st Airborne lands 1956—Congress adopts “In God and lets ITT retain ownership of quired him to pee in a cup). FDR describing the possibility lan President Jacobo Arbenz is the building, another severs el- in South Vietnam. We Trust” as the national motto. Hartford Fire Insurance. 1969—A Mass. Superior Court of constructing a nuclear bomb. overthrown by mercenaries at evator cables and sends a car 1923—“No more war” demon- 1945—After delivering the Hi- 1971—Dave Scott becomes first judge rejects a DA’s request for 1931—A. Einstein urges all sci- the behest of the CIA. Forty plummeting to the basement. strations held in 23 countries. roshima A-bomb, the U.S.S. In- person to drive a motor vehicle an inquest into the death of entists to refuse military work. years of genocide follow. Six floors are engulfed in flames; 1921—Disgruntled ex-corporal dianapolis is torpedoed and sunk. on the moon. Mary Jo Kopechne. 1865—After a summer spent 1953—Truce ends fighting in burning gasoline streams down Adolf Hitler becomes President Due to security measures, the 1944—Antoine de Saint-Exu- 1966—Honor student and for- capturing and sinking American Korea; troops are still there. the sides of the building. Thir- of the German Nazi Party. sinking isn’t reported for 5 days; péry disappears during a flight mer Marine Charles Whitman whaling vessels, the CSS Shenan- 1919—At a Chicago beach, a teen are killed and 26 injured. 1920—Disabled German veter- sharks and drowning claim 880 over southern France. shoots 45 (killing 12) from a doah finally learns the war’s been young black man crosses a “color 1932—U.S. Army troops led ans rally for “No more war.” out of 1,100 aboard. 1938—New York Yankee Jake tower at the University of Texas. over since April. line” and is drowned by a stone- by Dwight Eisenhower, aided 1890—RIP Vincent Van Gogh. 1938—A. Hitler bestows Ger- Powell is suspended after saying, 1917—IWW organizer Frank 1832—Hundreds of starving throwing mob, sparking a race by George S. Patton, and com- 1839—While looting the Tu- many’s highest award for non- on Chicago radio, that he’d “hit Little is lynched in Butte, Mon- Sauk and Fox Indians attempt to riot that kills 28 and injures 500. manded by General Douglas ileries along with the rest of the citizens, the Grand Cross of the every colored person in Chicago tana. The authorities never both- surrender at Bad Axe, Wiscon- 1893—William Taylor, reacting MacArthur, drive the “Bonus mob, Alexandre Dumas père Supreme Order of the German over the head with a club.” er to look for the culprits. sin, only to be massacred by the to a first jolt, breaks the straps Expeditionary Force”—20,000 finds a copy of one of his nov- Eagle, on his pal Henry Ford. 1922—Ralph Samuelson, 18, 1870—A San Francisco census Illinois militia. The State of Wis- of New York’s electric chair. A hungry World War I veterans— els in the royal apartments and 1916—A German saboteur de- rides world’s first water skis. taker lists Norton I’s occupation consin apologizes—in 1990. second jolt fails due to generator out of Washington DC, killing takes it. stroys a thousand tons of muni- 1921—A “No More War” dem- as “emperor.” 1776—In Philadelphia, mem- trouble. Taylor is kept alive for an two in the process. 1588—The Spanish Armada is tions stored on a barge at Black onstration in Berlin. 1758—The nation’s first Indian bers of the Continental Con- hour with morphine and chloro- 1914—Austria-Hungary attacks defeated and scattered by the Tom Island in New York Har- 1921—A rain of frogs falls in reservation is established—in gress sign the Declaration of In- form, and killed on the third try. Serbia, getting WWI underway. British Navy and the weather. bor. Sterling, Connecticut. New Jersey. dependence. 6:41 7:04 7:47 8:07 8:53 9:09 9:55 10:09 10:53 11:05 11:46 11:58 12:36
12:28 12:38 1:32 1:40 2:37 2:43 3:39 3:45 4:37 4:43 5:30 5:38 6:20 6:30 Sunday, August 3 Monday, August 4 Tuesday, August 5 Wednesday, August 6 Thursday, August 7 Friday, August 8 Saturday, August 9 12:00 1999—A House/Senate com- 1995—Congress votes to de- 2004—“Our enemies,” con- 2001—Given a briefing titled, 1979—A nuclear fuel plant leak 1989—Ed Meese’s pal E. Rob- 1989—Pres. George H.[H.]W. mittee agrees to cut taxes for the regulate the media, with predict- fesses George W. Bush, “never Bin Laden Determined to Strike in near Erwin, Tenn. contaminates ert Wallach is convicted of rack- Bush signs the multi-billion dol- rich by nearly $800 billion. ably splendid results. stop thinking about new ways to U.S. while on vacation, George about 1,000 people with up to 5 eteering for accepting $425,000 lar Savings and Loan bailout. 1981—Federal air traffic con- 1992—The Republican Nation- harm our country and our peo- W. Bush responds, “All right. times a year’s normal background to influence Meese, Reagan’s Among those bailed out at the trollers go on strike. al Convention re-nominates the ple, and neither do we.” You’ve covered your ass now.” radiation. Attorney General, and oth- expense of the taxpayer: his own 1971—Derry, N.H.’s Alan Bush/Quayle ticket. Snicker. 1981—Ronald Reagan fires 1970—Disneyland is invaded by 1964—Most of Congress falls ers to win defense contracts for sons Neil and Jeb. Shepard becomes the first man to 1987—The FCC jettisons the 12,700 air traffic controllers. 300 pot-smoking Yippies chant- for Gulf of Tonkin hoax and Wedtech Corp. 1974—Nixon vacates the White whack a golf ball on the moon. Fairness Doctrine, declaring it 1977—The NRC admits it’s lost ing VC slogans & demanding gives L.B.J. unprecedented (and 1988—Mehran Karimi Nasseri House. 1966—RIP Lenny Bruce. “restricts the journalistic free- 4 tons of enriched uranium. freedom for Mickey Mouse. unconstitutional) power. Sen. becomes stranded at the airport 1945—Sayonara, Nagasaki. 1948—Alger Hiss is accused dom of broadcasters.” 1969—The Army reveals that 1966—During a thunderstorm Wayne Morse (D-OR) votes no, in Paris, where he spends the 1936—Death of muckraker Lin- of spying by ex-Red Whittaker 1973—Toronto police arrest eight Green Berets have been over Nebraska, Braniff Flight saying “I believe that within the next 16 years. coln Steffens. Chambers. Yankee outfielder Dave Win- arrested for “terminating” a sus- 250 disintegrates near Falls City. next century, future generations 1980—While running for re- 1930—Betty Boop debuts. 1939—After catching five base- field, for accidentally killing a pected South Vietnamese double 1945—Sayonara, Hiroshima. will look with dismay and great election, Rep. Jon Hinson (R- 1892—Reacting to yesterday’s balls dropped from a blimp 500 seagull with a thrown ball. agent “with extreme prejudice.” 1930—New York Supreme disappointment upon a Congress Miss.) admits he has been ac- unpleasantness, a group of Hat- feet above the World’s Fair, Joe 1964—The U.S.S. Maddox and 1964—U.S. begins bombing Court Justice and Democratic which is now about to make such cused of committing an obscene fields tie three McCoys to a tree Sprinz tries to catch one dropped U.S.S. Turner Joy report a sec- North Vietnam. bigwig John Force Crater purges a historic mistake.” act in a “gay haunt” in Virginia, and shoot them. 1,000 feet. He loses four teeth. ond torpedo attack in Gulf of 1864—As Admiral Farragut some private files, cashes a large 1964—Time Magazine says of A and once barely escaped a fire in 1874—Charles Fort, chronicler 1931—In Chicago, an anti-evic- Tonkin. Curiously, there are no damns the torpedoes and takes check, and disappears forever. Hard Day’s Night, “avoid this film a gay movie theatre. But he de- of the paranormal, materializes tion march by 60,000 turns into casualties or damage. Mobile Bay, Portsmouth native 1926—Gertrude Ederle swims at all costs.” nies he’s gay. in Albany, New York. a riot; three die. 1925—After 13 years, U.S. Ma- Samuel Todd, mans the conn the English Channel, two hours 1942—U.S. troops land on Gua- 1974—Richard M. Nixon an- 1872—Fire destroys 547 build- 1923—By the light of a kerosene rines leave Nicaragua. of the U.S.S. Brooklyn with such faster than any of the five men dalcanal. nounces he’s a quitter after all. ings in Boston, killing 14. lantern, at 2:47 a.m. in Plymouth, 1916—The U.S. agrees to buy the distinction he is later awarded who had previously accom- 1928—The U.S. dollar is reduced 1973—Veep Spiro “Ted” Agnew 1848—Barnburners Party merg- VT, Calvin Coolidge is sworn in Virgin Islands from Denmark. the Medal of Honor. plished that feat. to its present-day dimensions. denounces “damned lies” alleging es with the Free Soil Party, form- as President by his own father. 1892—In Fall River, Mass., 1858—The first transatlantic 1895—The socialist paper Ap- 1890—Elizabeth Gurley Fly- that he accepted kickbacks while ing the Scorched Earth party, 1918—Allies invade Russia at somebody gives Lizzie Borden’s cable is completed by Cyrus W. peal to Reason begins publishing. nn, “The Rebel Girl,” is born in Governor of Maryland. and nominating Martin Van Bu- Vladivostok. father and stepmother the axe. Field. It works for 26 days. By 1902, its weekly circulation is Concord, N.H. 1968—R. Nixon chooses S. ren for President. 1913—Police shoot farmwork- 1875—The Convention of Col- 1850—Herman Melville and the 4th highest in the U.S. 1854—In St. Louis, anti-Irish Agnew for a running mate. 1842—Herman Melville escapes ers meeting in Wheatland, Ca- ored Newspapermen begins in Nathaniel Hawthorne meet at 1890—The State of NY tries to rioters “butcher” eight Irish men 1925—Thirty thousand mem- from the Typee Valley in the lif., killing four. For organizing Cincinnati, Ohio. a literary picnic on Monument execute William Kemmler in its and seriously wound 30 more. bers of the Ku Klux Klan march Marquesas, where he has been the meeting, two union leaders 1869—Emperor Norton I, “de- Mountain in the Berkshires. new electric chair. It takes eight 1794—George Washington in- in full regalia down Pennsylvania held captive by cannibals for a are convicted of murder and sen- sirous of allaying the dissensions 1735—A jury refuses to find minutes, with Kemmler thrash- vokes martial law to suppress the Ave. in Washington, DC. month. tenced to life. of party strife,” decrees the Dem- John Peter Zenger guilty of se- ing as his flesh burns. Whiskey Rebellion. 1903—Miners strike in Cripple 1842—The Webster-Ashburton 1877—A posse finds the first ocratic and Republican parties to ditious libel, because what he 1882—On an overcast afternoon 1782—George Washington au- Creek, Colo. Treaty resolves the issues that led poem of stagecoach robber be dissolved and abolished. printed had been the truth. in Paris, Abel Pifre prints news- thorizes the medal later known 1892—Three McCoys kill a to the Aroostook War. Charles “Black Bart” Bolles. 1755—Birth of Nicolas-Jacque 1620—TheMayflower sails. papers on a steam-powered press as the Purple Heart. Hatfield during an election day 1779—General Clinton & 1500 1546—Etienne Dolet, printer, is Conte, inventor of the pencil. 1498—Christopher Columbus fueled by a solar boiler. 1495—The Diet of Worms abol- brawl in Pike County, Kentucky. American troops breach a dam hanged & burned for blasphemy, 1753—George Washington be- finally sets foot on continental 1786—Robert Burns does public ishes private warfare within the 1879—Birth of Emiliano Zapa- to flood Iroquois towns and sedition, and heresy. comes a Mason. South America. penance for fornication. Holy Roman Empire. ta, Mexican revolutionary. fields in upstate New York. 12:49 1:23 1:37 2:09 2:25 2:54 3:14 3:40 4:04 4:28 4:58 5:21 5:57 6:18
7:07 7:20 7:52 8:09 8:35 8:59 9:20 9:49 10:05 10:42 10:54 11:40 11:48
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